They'll dance for a fee, but devour you for free.

November 3, 2008 8:09 PM

Zombie Strippers!!!??!?! WTF?

I just saw this ad for Zombie Strippers on the blue. It seems to be a new horror/porno film. I saw it as I was refreshing the page so I'm not sure about the URL of the ad.

I like zombies and I like strippers. But mixed, on Mefi? No thanks.

posted by JimmyJames to bugs at 8:09 PM (43 comments total)

Wow the parental guides for these things are hilarious.
posted by jessamyn at 8:14 PM on November 3, 2008 [8 favorites]

brainz... brainz....

(well, someone had to say it)
posted by Class Goat at 8:15 PM on November 3, 2008

What's the difference between a Stripper and a Zombie Stripper?

When a Zombie Stripper bites you, you don't get Hepatitis C.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:27 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

more like hepatitis Z amirite?
posted by dersins at 8:29 PM on November 3, 2008 [10 favorites]

lol
posted by dersins at 8:29 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

I like zombies and I like strippers. But mixed, on MeFi? Fucking awesome.
posted by eyeballkid at 8:30 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

God bless Robert Englund. He'll show up for any horror movie, anytime, and he'll make it better than it would have been otherwise. Zombie Strippers, starring a former porn star who, through the magic of way too much surgery, now looks like a caricature of herself? Bob's there, he's there in spades, and it ain't about the boobies, it ain't even about the irony, let's just have some goddamn fun and make some money in the process.

I love you, Bob. You're all right by me.
posted by middleclasstool at 8:31 PM on November 3, 2008 [2 favorites]

The Sex & Nudity section is totally fap-worthy.
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:32 PM on November 3, 2008

How can you tell which Stripper is a Zombie?

She's the rotten dancer.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:32 PM on November 3, 2008 [20 favorites]

How does a stripper know she gave a lap dance to a leper?

He says "Keep the tip."
posted by jonmc at 8:44 PM on November 3, 2008 [2 favorites]

this (nsfw, dur) is my favorite screencap from my favorite zombie porno. seems as good a place to link it as any.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 8:45 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

What do you call a Male Zombie Stripper?

A gigol-off.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:46 PM on November 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: 113 F-words and its derivatives, 1 obscene hand gesture, 1 sexual hand gesture, 10 sexual references, 13 scatological terms, 10 anatomical terms, 13 mild obscenities, name-calling (maggots, ugly, fat, idiot, dirt bags, gringo, bimbo, corpsilla), 11 religious exclamations.
posted by jjray at 8:50 PM on November 3, 2008 [4 favorites]

What's the only thing more drippy, gray and revolting than the Zombie Strippers at the Zombie Stripper Club?

The Mozzarella Sticks.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:58 PM on November 3, 2008 [4 favorites]

Why do some states forbid topless Zombie Strippers?

Because they can't safely use the pole without arms, a head and a torso.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:01 PM on November 3, 2008 [2 favorites]

Oh, Zombie Strippers is awesome (for some specific values of awesome). It is an adaptation of Ionesco's play Rhinoceros, with, yes, zombie strippers. It's political, pokes fun at zombie movie conventions, and has some funny lines. It's not high art by any stretch of the imagination, but if you like zombie movies and Jenna Jameson, you'll enjoy it.

I saw it a few months ago, so it's not new. Just out on DVD, maybe?
posted by gingerbeer at 9:06 PM on November 3, 2008

Wow the parental guides for these things are hilarious.
Heh! Under violence and gore:
"We hear that a US president has taken office for his fourth term based on faulty voting machines."
posted by tellurian at 9:08 PM on November 3, 2008

Okay, I'll admit I was being a bit prudish. I'll probably end up seeing it if I know my friends.
posted by JimmyJames at 9:17 PM on November 3, 2008

Metafilter: 113 F-words and its derivatives, 1 obscene hand gesture, 1 sexual hand gesture, 10 sexual references, 13 scatological terms, 10 anatomical terms, 13 mild obscenities, name-calling (maggots, ugly, fat, idiot, dirt bags, gringo, bimbo, corpsilla), 11 religious exclamations.
♬ And a partridge in a pear tree. ♪
posted by Abiezer at 9:30 PM on November 3, 2008

This is actually the best Englund performance of recent, and I highly suggest everyone see it when they have a chance.

Also, it sounds like a good group band name for Astro Zombie, or the making of one:

Astro Zombie and his Strippers.
posted by mrzarquon at 9:31 PM on November 3, 2008

From jessamyn's link: (she bit his genitals off; please see the Violence/Gore category for more details)

Why thank you! I believe I will!

Also, this is an "unrated" DVD re-release of an R-rated exploitation flick, not a porn.
posted by brundlefly at 10:25 PM on November 3, 2008

Ambrosia Voyeur is my favourite person right now.
posted by Mikey-San at 12:10 AM on November 4, 2008

I'm okay with zombies and I'm okay with nekkid zombies but I just don't get this whole american fascination with strippers. watching a stripper do her thing is sort of like going to a candy store and only being allowed to look at the candy, though of course I could always buy a remarkably overpriced soda, which given the fact that money tends to burn in pockets ain't all that bad. but you know what I mean.

maybe I'm just against banner ads.
posted by krautland at 12:50 AM on November 4, 2008

It is an adaptation of Ionesco's play Rhinoceros

I truly did not see that coming. I now want to see this film even more than I already wanted to, which given that it's a film called ZOMBIE STRIPPERS is, you know, saying something.
posted by flashboy at 1:41 AM on November 4, 2008 [3 favorites]

What sex technique are zombie strippers best at?

Giving head, of course.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:59 AM on November 4, 2008

Paging Astro Zombie....
posted by BigLankyBastard at 2:29 AM on November 4, 2008

It's not high art by any stretch of the imagination

yes, i expect it's somewhat lacking in brains.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:03 AM on November 4, 2008

If you like zombies (and dislike Big Brother), definitely search out Dead Set. I'm pretty sure there's no legit way to get it in the US, so go nuts.
posted by smackfu at 6:25 AM on November 4, 2008

It is an adaptation of Ionesco's play Rhinoceros, with, yes, zombie strippers.

That's making me horny.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:34 AM on November 4, 2008

Simon Pegg would not approve.
posted by Artw at 6:38 AM on November 4, 2008

Rules: she can eat your brains, but your brains aren't allowed to eat her.
posted by cortex at 6:45 AM on November 4, 2008

Finally a film that addresses my needs and concerns.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:26 AM on November 4, 2008 [2 favorites]

A priest, a rabbi, and a construction worker walk into a zombie strip club. The zombie bartender says "BRAINZ!!"

Thank you thank you, I'll be here all week.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 7:54 AM on November 4, 2008

I'd guess strip-club zombies are not the brain-eating variety.
posted by JaredSeth at 8:15 AM on November 4, 2008

This is just a formality, a question I must ask before I take any movie recommendation:

Dame Judi Dench is NOT in this, right?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:28 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

I dated a zombie stripper once. No seriously.




I think she just liked me for my brains though.
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:21 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

my favorite screencap from my favorite zombie porno.

Which, of course, means that there's more than one zombie porno out there.

I was about to comment on how straight porn people never cease to amaze me with they'll come up (heh) with next. But a quick search shows that undead smut isn't just for heteros anymore: Otto, or Up With Dead People.

The best part? "Funded by... Canada Council for the Arts, Ontario Arts Council."
posted by CKmtl at 9:24 AM on November 4, 2008 [2 favorites]

I saw it. I'm not proud of that. Yeah, it has a bit of the "stupid funny" thing going - but it is a bit too heavy on the stupid part for my tastes.

Nope, no Judi Dench... though she would probably be better looking at this point than Jenna Jameson, whose face reminds me of a melted candle.
posted by John Smallberries at 9:26 AM on November 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

You know, I think I saw the tail end of a movie with zombie strippers while channel surfing in a hotel recently. It featured some evil little guy as a bizarre diabolical pimp - I think he had blue skin. The strippers were delivering some sort of rap tune.
posted by exogenous at 9:51 AM on November 4, 2008

I saw this in the theater. It was bad. AWESOMELY BAD.

That said, casting Jenna Jameson as a dead person seems a little too easy.

Just out of curiosity, which is more offensive? Dead naked girls, strippers in general or flesh-eating girls? I mean... it seems like a natural association, you know?
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:17 AM on November 4, 2008

I'm sort of surprised no one's done Rhinoceros as a zombie movie before - it's sort of a natural once you think about it. Everyone slowly turns into something else.
posted by gingerbeer at 12:07 PM on November 4, 2008

More cleavage! of body parts!
posted by not_on_display at 1:10 PM on November 4, 2008

What do you call a private dance with a Zombie Stripper?

Dinner.

How much does it cost?

An arm and a leg.
posted by carsonb at 6:31 PM on November 4, 2008