Oooh! I've got one! November 14, 2008 2:18 PM   Subscribe

I'll go first: How's this not chatfilter?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders to Etiquette/Policy at 2:18 PM (92 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

HAHAHA you just did the one where people ask a rhetorical question then try to get you to answer it!
posted by sondrialiac at 2:27 PM on November 14, 2008 [4 favorites]


I'll go second: If stupidsexyFlanders a blond or brunette?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:29 PM on November 14, 2008


You're asking this because...?
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:33 PM on November 14, 2008


*trims fingernails*
posted by Skot at 2:36 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


Technically a -- well, I guess the word would be brune. Whatever the masculine of brunette is.
posted by boo_radley at 2:39 PM on November 14, 2008


What are some obnoxious things people do in social situations that they don't realize others notice?

To answer this question, you would need to know two things.
Thing 1: That people find Person A's behaviour obnoxious.
Thing 2: That Person A does not know Thing 1.

So far, 73 mindreaders have chimed in.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:45 PM on November 14, 2008


Some people have made the mistake of seeing Shunt's work as a load of rubbish about railway timetables, but clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants see this as a deliberate ambiguity, a plea for understanding in a mechanised mansion. The points are frozen, the beast is dead. What is the difference? What indeed is the point? /mpython
posted by found missing at 2:45 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]




*takes huge shit on dinner table*
posted by Damn That Television at 2:55 PM on November 14, 2008 [4 favorites]


I thought it was chatty as well, but the "I'll go first..." part of this question actually helped clarify the desired range of answers. Of all the "I'll go firsts" was a good "I'll go first..."
posted by Science! at 2:58 PM on November 14, 2008


I'll go first or not, it really is kinda chatfilter territory. I went ahead an deleted it; Hitler comparisons will commence shortly.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:00 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


Good call, you genocidal Thule society reject.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:04 PM on November 14, 2008 [4 favorites]


You mean I wasted Addable Time on a doomed thread? There goes my chance to replace those favourites I lost yesterday, dammit.
posted by yellowbinder at 3:06 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


You know who else was compared to Hitler? That's right... Hitler.
posted by found missing at 3:06 PM on November 14, 2008


I was hoping the OP would work around to the intent of the post, so maybe they'll do so here...?
posted by batmonkey at 3:07 PM on November 14, 2008


He was compared to Stalin and Mussolini, silly.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:07 PM on November 14, 2008


KvetchFilter would be awesome
posted by sondrialiac at 3:08 PM on November 14, 2008


Since that thread is deleted, I'm going to talk about Things Only Jerks Do over here.

Most obnoxious thing ever: "Whatcha readin'?" First of all, jerk, you are interrupting my reading, and second of all, the title is on the cover, which is facing out, towards you, legibly.

What you really mean to ask, jerk, is, "Why aren't you paying attention to me?"

It's because you're a jerk, jerk.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:11 PM on November 14, 2008 [15 favorites]


I would totally sign up for KvetchFilter.

Also, PissAndMoanFilter, FuckYouAllFilter, WhyDoesntAnyoneUnderstandMeFilter, and EverythingIDontLikeSucksFilter.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:11 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


I was hoping the OP would work around to the intent of the post, so maybe they'll do so here...?

I want to figure out what these things are so I don't commit them myself.

Must say I was sad to see it was deleted. I thought there were a lot of great replies.
posted by wireless at 3:12 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


I want to figure out what these things are so I don't commit them myself.

I can't work out how "please tell me all the bad things that I might, possibly (some day) do so that I may avoid them in my future interactions" could possibly make a good Askme question, though.
posted by Brockles at 3:14 PM on November 14, 2008


(The local free weekly has a little blurb dealy for this kind of thing. It is a fun read.)
posted by Sys Rq at 3:16 PM on November 14, 2008


You mean I wasted Addable Time on a doomed thread?

Coming soon: 4:48 psychosis.
posted by oaf at 3:16 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


I have tattooed the number of that AskMe question onto my forearm in blue ink to protest its deletion.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:23 PM on November 14, 2008


Addable time will live on, don't you worry. I'm going to explain it to my OCD friend on Monday, and, with her, it will live FOREVER!
posted by tiny crocodile at 3:26 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


The best part was the multiple posts that contradicted one another. Either way, you are annoying somebody.
posted by abc123xyzinfinity at 3:27 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


I knew it! He gets tenure and the gloves come off. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a hirsute doughnut-munching mod mashing on a delete button forever.
posted by Abiezer at 3:35 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


The story about Addable Time kind of made my day!
posted by triggerfinger at 3:42 PM on November 14, 2008


"He was compared to Stalin and Mussolini, silly."

Actually, Napoleon.
posted by klangklangston at 3:45 PM on November 14, 2008


If Kvetchfilter were to be as enjoyable as reading that thread, I'd be all for it.

Of course, if a given thread wasn't... I could kvetch about it. It's pretty much win-win.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:46 PM on November 14, 2008


There's pretty much nothing you can do that doesn't annoy someone, wireless. So just try to live a purile life, be the shame you want to see in the world, stay off drugs you can't afford, I believe the children are the future workers at GM, we are the World of Warcraft, and live one day at a time, because time travel always fucks things up between your Mum and Dad, and let's face it, they can hardly stand each other now as it is.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:48 PM on November 14, 2008 [6 favorites]


The best part was the multiple posts that contradicted one another. Either way, you are annoying somebody.

Uh yes, I was like GOOD LORD, IT IS ANNOYING TO BE THAT ANNOYED BY EVERY LITTLE THING!

I'm too self-absorbed to pay attention to such trifles. *filing my nails*
posted by sixcolors at 3:49 PM on November 14, 2008


Hitler is like ....
posted by lukemeister at 4:10 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


When this thread went up, there were no flags on the post. Usually a chatty post like that garners half a dozen votes of crappiness. I didn't delete it because no one was complaining aside from this thread.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 4:13 PM on November 14, 2008


So, we're in the men's room, right, and hey, it's cool to look at my wang, but all of the sudden you're uncomfortable discussing it after I stroke myself to tumescence?

I hate that.
posted by klangklangston at 4:15 PM on November 14, 2008 [4 favorites]


I would have deleted it sooner but I was talking to librarians about the internet. I told them about how irritable everyone is online and they laughed like hell because everyone is irritable in the library too!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:20 PM on November 14, 2008 [4 favorites]


WhyDoesntAnyoneUnderstandMeFilter

This already exists. It's pronounced "MySpace".
posted by CKmtl at 4:26 PM on November 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


WhyDoesntAnyoneUnderstandMeFilter

"Do you have Christmas in LiveJournal?"
"KRISS... MUSSSS"
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:37 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'll go last - why are you unable to email the mods on this issue?
posted by panboi at 4:41 PM on November 14, 2008


Now where will I go to yell at the kids to get off my lawn?
posted by tinatiga at 5:01 PM on November 14, 2008


Attn: MetaHitler

Does this mean I lose the favorites that people favorited on me in that thread? Because I am in a race.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:14 PM on November 14, 2008


So, we're in the men's room, right, and hey, it's cool to look at my wang, but all of the sudden you're uncomfortable discussing it after I stroke myself to tumescence?

It's not the wang stroking so much as the phrase "all of the sudden".
posted by arcanecrowbar at 5:36 PM on November 14, 2008 [6 favorites]


- Using the word "anal" to describe things and behavior not relating to the anus.

I once overheard this not-very-fluent-in-English person ask her fluent friend why she (the fluent one) kept referring to some mutual friend as 'anal'.

"Oh, see, it's about fixations. You know what I mean? Yeah, it comes from how a lot of guys are really fixated on getting their girlfriends to have anal sex. He's like that, but with lots and lots of other things."

Freud must have been spinning in his urn.
posted by CKmtl at 6:22 PM on November 14, 2008 [2 favorites]


Bitter OP, would you care for "Back in the old days we had respect for our elders" filter?
posted by Mister_A at 6:31 PM on November 14, 2008


GetOffMyLawnBeforeIShootYourAssFilter
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:49 PM on November 14, 2008


Some people really hate rhetorical questions, huh?
posted by Pronoiac at 6:50 PM on November 14, 2008


Metafilter: Wang Stroking
posted by jtron at 7:02 PM on November 14, 2008


Metafilter: please stop talking about your wangs already.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:13 PM on November 14, 2008 [3 favorites]


Oh geez, I used to do the Addable time thing every time I looked at a digital clock (as in the exact same thing as described. I've never talked about it, though, so I can't be your friend). I'd finally managed to break the OCD cycle and not think of it when I check the time, and you've just set me back months. Fuck.

Between this, sorting M&Ms, and counting steps between sidewalk cracks, I'm never going to have any peace....
posted by internet!Hannah at 8:28 PM on November 14, 2008


I really struggle engaging with the internet with more than 140 characters at a time.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 8:45 PM on November 14, 2008


Wow, Samuel Farrow, I thought I was the only one who counted characters (including spaces) in order to ensure that they equaled exactly 140.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:58 PM on November 14, 2008


I always get to the "talk about wangs" discussions too late.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:09 PM on November 14, 2008


Here's a picture of my wang.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:14 PM on November 14, 2008


I thought about flagging it as soon as I saw it, but it had 14 favorites and the last chatfilter I flagged had about a dozen favorites and was left up, so I just moved along.
posted by johnofjack at 3:39 AM on November 15, 2008


I thought it was chatfilter at first, but then I realized that many could benefit by knowing what others found annoying. But--as others have mentioned, there were quite a few contradictions. Nonetheless, this seemed like a chatfilter-for-the-good question.
posted by Stewriffic at 4:34 AM on November 15, 2008


Actually, I changed my mind a little. Looking at the responses that came in after I first read the thread, it did indeed dissolve into a pretty egregious personal annoyance kvetch-fest. Nonetheless, the core of the question was A-OK. Too bad it went the wrong direction.
posted by Stewriffic at 4:43 AM on November 15, 2008


How can I popularize the word 'filthchatter'?
posted by box at 4:54 AM on November 15, 2008


I find it obnoxious when people can't deal with obnoxious behavior in the moment. If someone stands too close to you to talk, ask them to step back. Or step back yourself with your arm extended such that it is impossible for the person to encroach on your space. Simple things like that. You know, most people don't actively hate you, and the world was not constructed just to confound and annoy you, personally. Try being a real fucking person and engage the people you meet, rather than just focusing on how they're out to annoy you and you'd love to do something about it but, well, social niceties and the rest. Fuck you. You're taking a shortcut because you're uncomfortable voicing your discomfort. You're secretly afraid that you're in the wrong, and that by saying something, you will have transgressed. Grow a pair.
posted by Eideteker at 5:51 AM on November 15, 2008 [17 favorites]


Does this sort of "let people know they're totally annoying" thing hold true for MetaTalk too, Eidetecker?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:11 AM on November 15, 2008 [7 favorites]


EverythingIDontLikeSucksFilter

Dude, that's the site you're on right now.
posted by languagehat at 6:41 AM on November 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


Can we have MetaMetaTalk to complain about threads on MetaTalk?
posted by lukemeister at 7:12 AM on November 15, 2008


and engage the people you meet

OMG, Eideteker is a Mormon!!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:15 AM on November 15, 2008


No, he's a fiance waiting to happen.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:47 AM on November 15, 2008


I have 6 cows and 2 goats, what say you?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:42 AM on November 15, 2008


Does this sort of "let people know they're totally annoying" thing hold true for MetaTalk too, Eidetecker?

I have yet to find an instance where someone on MeTa finds someone else's behavior annoying and then doesn't mention it.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:44 AM on November 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


I have yet to find an instance where someone on MeTa finds someone else's behavior annoying and then doesn't mention it.

Full disclosure and transparency will be the hallmarks of the Obama administration.
posted by lukemeister at 8:46 AM on November 15, 2008


... also known as the No Bitch 'N' Moan Left Behind program.
posted by lukemeister at 9:41 AM on November 15, 2008


"I have yet to find an instance where someone on MeTa finds someone else's behavior annoying and then doesn't mention it."

The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
posted by Eideteker at 10:21 AM on November 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


*takes huge shit on dinner table*

I lived in this house once and some one came round to visit, and took a dump in the living room. Apparently he actually thought it was socially acceptable.*

*When he was asked why he said 'its a squat isn't', yes we knew that, we lived there, he, meanwhile, lived at home with his mum.
posted by tallus at 1:35 PM on November 15, 2008


I wonder how you could get revenge against someone like that.
posted by box at 6:31 PM on November 15, 2008


Tell the tale as part of a toast at their wedding reception.
posted by CKmtl at 6:42 PM on November 15, 2008 [1 favorite]


买王!
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:20 PM on November 15, 2008


故王者禁溢利,節漏費。溢利禁則反本,漏費節則民用給。是以生無乏資,死無轉尸也。
posted by Abiezer at 10:15 PM on November 15, 2008


I hate it when people drop LITTLE PICTURES THEY USE TO TALK WITH into a perfectly good american-language thread.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:56 AM on November 16, 2008


* hugs Rock Steady, but Japanese style*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:24 AM on November 16, 2008


I'm going to assume "Japanese Style" involves tentacles.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:41 AM on November 16, 2008


whoaali says: On a similar note to Punctual, I hate when people find anyway to drop into the conversation that they went to an Ivy League.

When I was at Dartmouth, we never had this problem.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:00 PM on November 16, 2008 [2 favorites]


You're taking a shortcut because you're uncomfortable voicing your discomfort. You're secretly afraid that you're in the wrong, and that by saying something, you will have transgressed. Grow a pair.

Hey, fuck you, buddy! You don't get to talk to these people that way!
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:05 PM on November 16, 2008


On a similar note to Punctual, I hate when people find anyway to drop into the conversation that they went to an Ivy League.

That's why I never mention that I studied at Yale.
posted by languagehat at 2:37 PM on November 16, 2008


Thanks for the callout, I enjoyed that thread, it's pretty flattering how much good material was provided by the commenters.

languagehat: ...they went to an Ivy League.

I'm told the Ivy in Ivy league comes from the IV Roman numeral. The IV league was four particular northeast teams, presumably including Harvard and Yale. Exactly which were the other two depends on who's claiming to be an Ivy Leaguer.
posted by StickyCarpet at 3:03 PM on November 16, 2008


Protip: Don't believe everything you are told.
posted by found missing at 3:23 PM on November 16, 2008


whoaali says: On a similar note to Punctual, I hate when people find anyway to drop into the conversation that they went to an Ivy League.


That reminds me of a joke:
How do you know someone went to the $competing-Ivy-League-school-you-didn't-go-to$?

They tell you.
So snide, so wonderful. Works with Oxford and Cambridge too.
posted by Happy Dave at 1:37 AM on November 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


StickyCarpet: "I'm told the Ivy in Ivy league comes from the IV Roman numeral. The IV league was four particular northeast teams, presumably including Harvard and Yale. Exactly which were the other two depends on who's claiming to be an Ivy Leaguer."

You're told so very, very wrong. The first formal league involving teams from "Ivy League" colleges was the Eastern Intercollegiate Basketball League in 1902. It had five members (Columbia, Cornell, Harvard, Yale and Princeton). The term itself was coined in the 1930's and it specifically used the word ivy, not the number IV.
posted by Plutor at 6:59 AM on November 17, 2008


Hitler comparisons will commence shortly
"You've got better legs than Hitler and bigger tits than Cher." --Eric Idle, Henry Kissinger.
posted by plinth at 7:20 AM on November 17, 2008


You know what I hate? When people press me to find out what school I went to and then act all off-put when they find out I went to an Ivy. I never bring it up, but go ahead and act like I'm a spoiled jerk when you drag it out of me, jerk.
posted by Eideteker at 8:16 AM on November 17, 2008 [1 favorite]


I feel the same way about not watching TV, or I would if we were discussing that already but because we aren't I'm not going to bring it up.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:21 AM on November 17, 2008


When I have the TV conversation I'm all "I have someone else's Slingbox password, I TRY to watch tv really...!"
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:27 AM on November 17, 2008


You know what I hate? When people think I'm a racist when I'm so not.
That's bullshit.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 8:52 AM on November 17, 2008


…because I only hate African-Americans, not Africans in general. Jeez.
posted by klangklangston at 9:16 AM on November 17, 2008


Well, since I'm happily married to an African American (he refers to himself as black, but whatev), I just don't feel racist, ya know? Jeez.

I am double negative-ist, though.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 9:53 AM on November 17, 2008


Also, PissAndMoanFilter, FuckYouAllFilter, WhyDoesntAnyoneUnderstandMeFilter, and EverythingIDontLikeSucksFilter.
posted by BitterOldPunkFilter at 11:11 PM on November 14 [2 favorites +] [!]
posted by Sparx at 11:01 AM on November 17, 2008


In terms of Roman numerals, he's Ivy League with Roman Polanski.
posted by owtytrof at 12:26 PM on November 17, 2008


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