Fat bitchez, raise your hands.

December 8, 2008 3:07 PM

Body-positive feminists, stand UP.

Based on PhoBWanKenobi's comment on this really great AskMeFi thread, I'd like to know how many of us there are here.

I've got an inkling, based on certain posts and answers to AskMeFi questions, but I'd really like an explicit outing of those here (men as well as women) who consider themselves to be body-positive (that is to say, fat-friendly) and feminist.

I just want to feel the love. So come out, come out, wherever you are. We're a team. Let's say hi.

posted by peggynature to MetaFilter-Related at 3:07 PM (31 comments total)

body-positive (that is to say, fat-friendly)

Why is that the same thing? Shouldn't "body positive" mean friendly to all body-types, rather than concentrating on only one?
posted by dersins at 3:14 PM on December 8, 2008 [40 favorites]

dersins took the words out of my mouth. Body positive should mean feeling good in your body no matter your weight (skinny or overweight), so long as you are healthy.
posted by Justinian at 3:17 PM on December 8, 2008

That seems more like body-indifferent than body-positive.

Still, *raises hand*
posted by Sys Rq at 3:17 PM on December 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Just for the record, and to save time when these questions come up in the future, here is a list of things towards which I am positive:

Fatness
Thinness
General health and well-being
Rocks (pretty ones)
Goldfish (in both cracker and piscene forms)
Arms (though I must admit, some are more aesthetically pleasing than others; in fact, I may be arm-ist deep down, but you won't catch me admitting it here)
Kleenex (the soft kind; name-brand only; also, possibly Kleenexist)
Mexican food
Indian food
Ethiopian food
Cats
Dogs
Thumb tacks
Sesame seeds
Trader Joes

Ok thanks back to work now.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:18 PM on December 8, 2008 [17 favorites]

Jesus, can't a body-dysmorphic homosexual eat an open-faced egg salad sandwich in front of the computer in peace?

Really, must this thread exist?
posted by hermitosis at 3:19 PM on December 8, 2008 [23 favorites]

I think bitchez r phat.
posted by gman at 3:20 PM on December 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

(I am also puzzled by this thread's existence. This is MetaFilter. We're cool.)
posted by Sys Rq at 3:22 PM on December 8, 2008

Being comfortable with your body and being true to accurate counsel on the extraordinary hazards of obesity is difficult terrain. Long before we had the horrendous epidemic of obesity we now face it was easier to try to talk about instilling confidence and comfort with one's self in young women (and men) without it drifting into "fat-friendly" (whatever that means) territory. If someone told me to be extra kind to people of color and gays instead of just treating them like I treat anyone else I would similarly cringe.

This thread is going to be a train wreck. And by that I mean super fun to watch.
posted by docpops at 3:23 PM on December 8, 2008

To add to mudpuppie's list:
Raindrops on roses
whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles
warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
Cream colored ponies
crisp apple streudels
Doorbells
sleigh bells
schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
Sunshine
Lollipops
Rainbows.

I'll add more as I think of them.
posted by Floydd at 3:24 PM on December 8, 2008 [10 favorites]

I like the big chicks. But, I don't know if that makes me some kind of example since I like them for completely selfish male-pig reasons, not because of any commitment to feminism.
posted by jonmc at 3:24 PM on December 8, 2008 [10 favorites]

I'm friendly about all kinds of stuff, but not much of a joiner.
posted by desuetude at 3:25 PM on December 8, 2008

I like the big chicks. But, I don't know if that makes me some kind of example since I like them for completely selfish male-pig reasons, not because of any commitment to feminism.
posted by jonmc at 3:24 PM on December 8 [+] [!]

That is a conundrum, isn't it? If one's person's base objectification serves to defeat negative imagery is it unethical?
posted by docpops at 3:26 PM on December 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

Does one have to be a feminist to be "body-positive"?
posted by gman at 3:28 PM on December 8, 2008

"Fat bitchez, raise your hands."

Oh yea, this is going to go well.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:09 PM on December 8 [+] [!] [quote]No other comments.


body-positive (that is to say, fat-friendly)

Why is that the same thing? Shouldn't "body positive" mean friendly to all body-types, rather than concentrating on only one?
posted by dersins at 6:14 PM on December 8 [+] [!] [quote]No other comments.


dersins took the words out of my mouth. Body positive should mean feeling good in your body no matter your weight (skinny or overweight), so long as you are healthy.
posted by Justinian at 6:17 PM on December 8 [+] [!] [quote]No other comments.


wow, metafilter sucks sometimes.

1. being "fat-friendly" does not mean "unfriendly toward other body types." it means, "in addition to being friendly to other body types, we are also friendly toward people who are overweight, because some people are not so friendly." christ.

2. look, maybe this meta won't go well. maybe it'll be closed. i dunno. but you know what NEVER steers discussion well? snarking in the first comment.

for real, this is why people get pissed at us in conversations like this. if you have something to say, say it well and civilly. and if someone's looking for some love and support, SOMEBODY, PLEASE just show the girl some love and motherfucking support. it can't be like this, that every time we have a metatalk or metafilter thread (from whatever side of the issue) about female body issues, the fucking snark and nitpick brigade dominates from the word "go."

also, peggynature. much love. go you.
posted by shmegegge at 3:28 PM on December 8, 2008 [31 favorites]

that's all fine, but man, ain't nobody got love for doughy white dudes.
posted by boo_radley at 3:28 PM on December 8, 2008 [10 favorites]

Oh, fuck me.

Hi.
Thank you, peggy.


and ANYBODY WANT SOME INDIAN FOOD? You should go watch videos of Indian food.

I fill the hole inside me with favorites, not food.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:29 PM on December 8, 2008 [9 favorites]

docpops, by the same token, if a man honestly finds full-figured ladies more attractive, for completely selfish reasons, dosen't that ultimately mean more than someone who just says that because it's the right thing to say?
posted by jonmc at 3:30 PM on December 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

if someone's looking for some love and support, SOMEBODY, PLEASE just show the girl some love and motherfucking support.

IANAD, IANYD.
posted by hermitosis at 3:32 PM on December 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

The answers to this are hilarious so far, mostly unintentionally, but still hilarious.

HI GUYS!!!!
posted by peggynature at 3:32 PM on December 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Oh right so if people have diseases we must work to make them uncomfortable in their body.

The other day I saw someone with excema who seemed pretty confident and I said "you know, that's really unhealthy" and I'm glad that they know that now.
posted by sondrialiac at 3:31 PM on December 8 [+] [!]

Good point, every overweight person ever has a disease that causes them to be overweight. I'm glad we got that out of the way early on.
posted by proj at 3:34 PM on December 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

every time we have a metatalk or metafilter thread (from whatever side of the issue) about female body issues, the fucking snark and nitpick brigade dominates from the word "go."

I really think the majority of the snark in this thread represents affectionate amusement at the language and cliches of identity politics, not ridicule of female body issues.
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 3:36 PM on December 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

Also: if you don't understand this question or the wording of it, then you probably aren't a fat-positive feminist. Watch and learn!

(though, of course, if truly you take offense to the word "bitchez" I can totally understand and will apologize. But I mean it in a loving way, ala Shakesville.)

So far:

Ambrosia Voyeur: check
shmegegge: check
me (obviously): check
posted by peggynature at 3:37 PM on December 8, 2008

I have a good attitude towards menstruation.

Just in case anyone was curious.
posted by jason's_planet at 3:38 PM on December 8, 2008 [4 favorites]

peegynature, I can see why body image is important to you, since your profile pic shows that you have manged to get through life despite being born upside down.
posted by jonmc at 3:38 PM on December 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

Let's close this up, shall we? This thread doesn't meet the lax standards for MetaTalk relevancy, and I think it's unwise to have roll-calls about hot-button issues that we fight over in ugly ways, unless we need to have the discussion for some other reason (for example if it's spilling over from the green or the blue).
posted by grobstein at 3:39 PM on December 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm friendly about all kinds of stuff, but not much of a joiner.

Yet you are on a website that requires not only registration but cash money.

Irony which is not irony is a bitch.
posted by desuetude at 3:40 PM on December 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

Sure, I'm a feminist and couldn't give a shit what people look like. Hardly unusual views.

Not sure about the whole fat acceptance thing, mind you - at the extreme end it seems about as 'body positive' as pro-ana.
posted by jack_mo at 3:40 PM on December 8, 2008 [4 favorites]

if truly you take offense to the word "bitchez" I can totally understand and will apologize.

As someone who spends way too much time trying to get random people on the site to not make degrading snark-filled comments about women, yeah I think this would have gone better with a different word choice there.

That said I love my soft buddha-belly and those of others. I am roughly medium-sized though.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:40 PM on December 8, 2008 [4 favorites]

You know, I considered not mentioning AT ALL what my particular body image issue was, for that AskMe (that I've been needing to ask for a while, and am actually very pleased with). Then I thought, "well, duh, it could be easily deduced, gordita, and besides, it's kind of 'the main one.'" But I'm still not sure I made the right choice.

Body image issues hurt so many of us, and I personally don't give a fuck what feature they focus on. They don't make sense and they waste our lives, and I don't want to stand for it anymore. Size needs to have more acceptance, oh yes, but there's an umbrella issue there I would rather deal with. That's a lot harder to do.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:41 PM on December 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Actually, 23skidoo, I think this thread serves an entirely different purpose, which would derail that AskMeFi thread (which is looking for answers to body image woes) -- I want to talk to some people who identify themselves as believing in a cause that I am very active is, and I want to talk about how these discussions usually go on Metafilter, and maybe support each other in what is often a very embattled position.

I never said this was a rah-rah big girls/women of all sizes thread, it's a rah-rah activist thread in which we introduce ourselves to each other.

I'm sure Ambrosia Voyeur wouldn't appreciate our all talking to each other taking over the answers thread to her question.

So, if you don't like this thread, you can kindly butt out.
posted by peggynature at 3:41 PM on December 8, 2008

Ambrosia Voyeur: check
shmegegge: check
me (obviously): check

This is looking increasingly like a bad idea. peggynature, I have no doubt that your intentions were good, but throwing down a you're-with-us-or-you're-not issue-specific roll call (and updating it in thread) is a pretty far distance from what Metatalk should be used for, and seems mostly like an excellent way to start about four or five fights all at once. I'm going to go ahead and close thing up.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:43 PM on December 8, 2008 [33 favorites]