Editorializing about Optimalized Recent Activity

March 31, 2009 3:31 PM

Changed interface in Recent Activity!
"78 total comments. 5 since the last comment you read. 20 since your most recent comment, last 10 shown below..." This? Is very cool! Thanks! Very much!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur to feature requests at 3:31 PM (50 comments total)

We didn't change anything. Do you have a Greasemonkey script installed?
posted by pb at 3:32 PM on March 31

Because before, it was totes suboptimalizationicity.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:33 PM on March 31

YES. YES I DO. I'm leaving. Don't watch. *sigh.*

Well, it's very cool. That's true.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:34 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]

NOW IS THE TIME ON SPROCKETS WHEN WE DANCE.
posted by cortex at 3:34 PM on March 31 [4 favorites]

I'm bored. Somebody do something interesting.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:36 PM on March 31

I had a dream last night that I was making chicken-poo-shaped treats out of peanut butter and some sort of coconut cream. They were very tasty, but I was having a hard time getting the shape and texture right.

I've pretty much been wanting to tell someone that all day, and this is as good of a place as any, I suppose.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:39 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]

Yeah possibly I never noticed the Scroll Tag script having that effect on RA previously, and I have a new computer and all new installs now, so I'm a space case, but I had some encouragement from shiny confusing layered technologies.

Feature Request! This for all! Scroll Tag love!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:41 PM on March 31

More things about me are good for our site. If you agree, please flag this comment.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:41 PM on March 31

Flagged as "other."
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:43 PM on March 31

Pick a reason to flag:
[   ] fantastic post
[   ] double post
[   ] HTML/display error
[   ] offensive/sexism/racism
[   ] it breaks the guidelines
[   ] other
[ X ] this poster is hot
posted by mattdidthat at 3:48 PM on March 31

Feature Request! This for all!

This is perfect as a distributed Greasemonkey script because it's no sweat for your powerful desktop computer to store every thread you visit and where you left off. It's a bit more difficult for us to do because we'd have to store this info for everyone.

I wish Greasemonkey was a bit more in-your-face when it's running because I often forget what's standard and what has been added by a script too.
posted by pb at 3:48 PM on March 31

ARGH PTERODACTYLS RUN
posted by loquacious at 3:54 PM on March 31

NOW IS THE TIME ON SPROCKETS WHEN WE DANCE.

I hope cortex isn't touching anyone's monkey.
posted by amyms at 4:03 PM on March 31

Cortex touched my monkey and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
posted by mattdidthat at 4:08 PM on March 31

I'm bored. Somebody do something interesting.

I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS AND I'M THINKING ABOUT SNUGGLEPUPPIES.

But than again, this happens every day.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:10 PM on March 31

Cortex touched my sprocket and made the monkey dance.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:11 PM on March 31

The monkey touched my cortex and caused brain damage dance sprocket.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:15 PM on March 31

Allegedly.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:15 PM on March 31

This is what happens when the mirror in my cage gets moved. I'm like ZOMG WHO IS THAT? I'm kind of uneasy, still. I think I might need a cracker.

Thanks for that easy-to-understand explanation, pb. I guess I should be thanking myself, oh and Plutor... and maybe mattdidthat? Do I get hotter the dumber I am? I can post a MeTa a week, right? Cool...

I'd better get back to my Henri Bergson and leave this hard stuff to you guys.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:16 PM on March 31

I remember when I was about four, I discovered my testicles for the first time. Having no idea what they were, I asked my mom, "Is this my brain?"

Not even batting an eye, she drolly replied, "not yet."
posted by netbros at 4:20 PM on March 31 [12 favorites]

Cute story. I remember when your mom discovered my testicles, too.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:23 PM on March 31 [11 favorites]

But Netbros, be careful with the adverbs. You should let me make up my own mind about the drollness of her reply.
posted by Dumsnill at 4:23 PM on March 31

FUCKING PTERODACTYLS
posted by loquacious at 4:41 PM on March 31

PTERODACTYL:
When [someone] performs oral sex on a man in front of [them], while at the same time is giving hand jobs to men on [their] right and left. The resulting motion looks like attempting to fly. (Much like a pterodactyl.) Hard to make Urban Dictionary definitions gender neutral.

From this, all I can deduce is that "FUCKING PTERODACTYLS" takes at least 8 people and a lot of practice and coordination. Harder than Olympic synchronized swimming. Hence its rarity in porn.
posted by dirty lies at 5:24 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]

I also wanted to thank the mods for the interface change. The new beer-on-the-desk-next-to-the-computer-on-which-Metafilter-is-being-browsed thing is really cool, and really improves the quality of the site.
posted by koeselitz at 5:28 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]

FUCKING PTERODACTYLS

NSFW
posted by dersins at 5:29 PM on March 31

Ok, awkward.
posted by loquacious at 5:31 PM on March 31

I'm just sayin'
posted by dersins at 5:35 PM on March 31 [3 favorites]

Can any of this be proven by science or do I just have to have faith that cortex is touching monkeys and fucking Pterodactyls?
posted by crossoverman at 5:53 PM on March 31

Oh. Goddamit AV, you wrecked my hopes and dreams.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:56 PM on March 31

Heh, I got sucked into this as well, after a new install of everything. I managed to figure it out by myself, though (after a while) ;-)

Do I get hotter the dumber I am?
Well, we need a notated series of photos showing what you look like at various levels of dumbness before we can answer that. Of course, we need to see quite a lot (if not all) of you in the photos to be sure.
posted by dg at 6:22 PM on March 31

.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:44 PM on March 31

Man, you guys are all creepy.

I, on the other hand, am defending AV's foolishness in a nonsexual manner and will not request further pics.

/whiteknight

request sent via memail
posted by graventy at 8:32 PM on March 31

I've never seen boobies. What do they look like?
posted by Burhanistan at 9:29 PM on March 31

FUCKING PTERODACTYLS

NSFW

Oh, Internet, is there anything you can't find for me?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:34 PM on March 31

I wish Greasemonkey was a bit more in-your-face when it's running because I often forget what's standard and what has been added by a script too.

Maybe somebody could write a greasemonkey script that would make greasemonkey scripts a bit more in-your-face.
posted by Chuckles at 9:58 PM on March 31

"Greasemonkey is enabled, shitface."
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:59 PM on March 31 [2 favorites]

Well, the picture I happen to have of myself online at my nakedest is also at my dumbest, so I'll play along, dg. But pay me respect as a person while you fap. This payment is made by reading my comment history on the issues of pornography and representation of women in media, starting with this recent thread, and favoriting each of my comments. You can imagine I go "ooh, dg, you're the best at favoriting, ungh!" every time if you want. Just keep a-clickin', imaginary internet cashcows.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:06 PM on March 31

Oh, right, the pic. Fuckin' greasemonkey.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:18 PM on March 31

I wish Greasemonkey was a bit more in-your-face

I'm certain that Dersins can help you out with that.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:27 PM on March 31

See, I have no idea how I would get by if I was a female, Ambrosia. Because the first thing that flashed into my mind when I read dg's comment was 'fuck right the fuck off, douchebag' - not to mention mattdidthat's little jab. But you're so much classier than that.

At least I get to use the little flagging mechanism.
posted by koeselitz at 10:28 PM on March 31

"use the little flagging mechanism" . . . OMG . . . so hard . . . to resist . . .

</Shatner>

not really that hard
posted by cgc373 at 11:07 PM on March 31 [1 favorite]

Greasemonkey, huh? First I figured this was some sort of April Fool's pony.
posted by grouse at 12:31 AM on April 1

Oh, Internet, is there anything you can't find for me?

Oh, Internet, is there some way I could UNWATCH THAT?
posted by crossoverman at 3:10 AM on April 1 [2 favorites]

Oh, Internet, is there some way I could UNWATCH THAT?

Flunitrazepam. Keep a big jar of it next to your computer and just grab one every time you stumble across one of those "Oh for the love of all that is good, why would someone post this?!" moments.

Warning; side effects may include all kinds of crazy shit...
posted by quin at 8:29 AM on April 1

"Oh for the love of all that is good, why would someone post this?!"

Some one called for fucking pterodactyls. My number one rule of human interaction is that if you call for fucking pterodactyls, you get fucking pterodactyls. Doesn't everyone follow that code?
posted by dersins at 9:05 AM on April 1

Hey, some guy from Manitoba called some guy from Ontario a shitface!

But it's not a real fight until someone's hockey jersey gets pulled over his head, right?

(OMG, AV, is that sunburn on your legs and shoulders?)
posted by maudlin at 10:14 AM on April 1

Oh no, I wasn't calling Chuckles a shitface, it was just my suggestion for a more in-you-face Greasemonkey.

I don't own a hockey jersey - hell, I can't even skate. I could maybe throw a curling slider at him, or thwack him in the mug a couple times with one of the old-timey straw brooms if I ambushed him.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:53 AM on April 1

Isn't throwing shoes at someone one of the worst insults in Prairie culture?

Yeah, I know it was a joke. MeTa just gets too peaceful sometimes, you know? And I like hockey fights, although from what you describe, curling fights could be pretty damn awesome, too. Do curling teams go out of their way to recruit enforcers?
posted by maudlin at 12:02 PM on April 1

My number one rule of human interaction is that if you call for fucking pterodactyls, you get fucking pterodactyls.

But you only labeled it NSFW, it should have been labeled NSFL - Not Safe For Life.

Flunitrazepam.

But then I might take unwanted advantage of myself!
posted by crossoverman at 1:17 PM on April 1