All non-dispassionate responses will be culled. That is all.

April 12, 2009 3:32 PM

Why were my answers removed from this AskMe?

I put a lot of time and thought into my responses to that question. True, like many of the respondents there, I didn't suggest a book, but rather addressed the underlying problem of trying to 'fix' a relationship in this way.

Jessamyn's lame explanation: [few comments removed - if you can't answer somewhat dispassionately, please don't]

"Dispassionately" Excuse me? So now the "tone" of an answer has to pass muster with the mods? Give me a break.

If my comments were deleted because they were somehow "non-answers" that's first and foremost ridiculous, because they were legitimate answers to the overall problem. Second, if that's the case why aren't all the other non-book specific comments gone also?

Dispassionate? Please.

posted by wfrgms to etiquette/policy at 3:32 PM (164 comments total)

It's not an anonymous AskMe, if you feel like telling the MeFite about something else than what she's asking for you can always MeMail her.
posted by Kattullus at 3:34 PM on April 12

You told the OP her question "made your eyes roll" and summarized her question in another response as "Dear MeFi, Please tell me how to do it wrong. Kthxby!" I think you often give good advice but you drape it in disdain and vitriol and then do this "who me" routine when we remove your non-answers. Your specifically not only got flagged but we got email about them. I've been doing other things besides babysitting that thread today so I gave it a quick look and that's what I decided to do. No one else that I noticed was sneering at the OP, maybe I didn't look closely enough?
posted by jessamyn at 3:37 PM on April 12 [7 favorites has favorites]

Oh Jesus... I just looked at the answers... the AskMe is a trainwreck of a post. The first comment to actually give an answer to lblair's question is scody's comment which is the 18th comment.
posted by Kattullus at 3:39 PM on April 12

For what it's worth, I think you may also have addressed the poster as "honey." This is something that some people can sometimes pull off in real life, but in this context it can really feel patronizing, dismissive, and inappropriate.
posted by prefpara at 3:46 PM on April 12

Well, we can talk about why your answers were deleted, or we can look past that to the real problem: why are you so angry?
posted by carsonb at 3:53 PM on April 12 [22 favorites has favorites]

Not sure if the "censorship" tag really applies, here.
posted by EatTheWeak at 3:53 PM on April 12

I will never understand why people make threads about their deleted comments or answers, as most of the time the aim is not "What is the aspect of the guidelines that I'm missing here?" but rather "Why did you do this to me?" Just send a MeMail if you must get a longer explanation.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:53 PM on April 12 [3 favorites has favorites]

You gave assy answers and now you're starting a whole thread over why your assy answers were deleted? Seriously? Step away from the internets for the evening and get some perspective.
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 4:03 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

They were deleted by the all-wise and almighty mods in order to teach you a very small lesson about the convenience and utility of mefimail when a person wants to contact them about something.
posted by koeselitz at 4:03 PM on April 12

It hasn't worked so far, but I have faith.
posted by koeselitz at 4:04 PM on April 12

Omit needless words.
posted by Dumsnill at 4:10 PM on April 12 [12 favorites has favorites]

Step away from the internets for the evening and get some perspective.

Or better yet, give us a good ol' fashioned flame-out. We're desperate here.
posted by educatedslacker at 4:10 PM on April 12 [2 favorites has favorites]

I'm amazed and glad that anyone had the courage to step into that one at all.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 4:11 PM on April 12

Yeah, that's an awful thread full of people waggling their own issues at the OP.

Big up to scody for answering the question.
posted by Bookhouse at 4:14 PM on April 12

a very small lesson about the convenience and utility of mefimail when a person wants to contact them about something.

Contact form generally preferred for most of these things, mind you, unless you're specifically trying to get ahold only of the specific mod in question about something not time-sensitive.

That thread is a monster, for sure. wfrgms wasn't the only person to get the axe, and if the asker herself hadn't sort of dug in on some of the deraily stuff herself and folded it back into the dialogue, we'd probably cut a couple more as well. There's pretty much no way to be totally happy about a thread like that, but trying to keep some of the heavier volleys of condescension out of it is a start, at least.
posted by cortex at 4:29 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

wfrgms: "Dispassionately" Excuse me? So now the "tone" of an answer has to pass muster with the mods? Give me a break.

That would actually be a pretty good policy, fuckwad. If fewer people like you were allowed to just rant away and give blatheringly emotional and personal answers, ask.metafilter would be all the better for it. But CENSORSHIP! Gah, you're being immature.
posted by koeselitz at 4:29 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

They were deleted by the all-wise and almighty mods...

Dispassion of the Christ.
posted by gman at 4:31 PM on April 12 [2 favorites has favorites]

MetaFilter: That would actually be a pretty good policy, fuckwad.
posted by shadytrees at 4:36 PM on April 12 [5 favorites has favorites]

wfgms you are being ridiculous. This isn't CSI: Internet. I watched that thread since the beginning and your comment about "rolling your eyes" made me roll my eyes: get a fucking life. Either help the person out constructively (read: without taking a jab at them FOR NO REASON) or just walk away from the thread. And what are you thinking bringing this up in metatalk? You're lucky the opposite didn't happen. Your stupid editorializing takes ALOT away from the usefulness of askme. Just Don't.
posted by pwally at 4:38 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

I get the feeling that koeselitz thinks he's helping. When I'm called a fuckwad, pretty much anything said before and after that gets ignored. YMMV
posted by SeizeTheDay at 4:39 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

Does MeFi have an acronym for this:

"Dear MeFi, Please tell me how to do it wrong. Kthxby!" These are brilliant words (though I can't comment on whether they were in the right context in any previous examples, as I have only seen the present thread in question - where I think it does fit appropriately)

I didn't see the deleted post (I have the greasemonkey script running also but even so, I can't see it) but I don't necessarily think that just because a poster said "it made my eyes roll" that its value/yuck ratio was above the implicit limit.

wfrgms in one sense is calling "game" on the poster, which I think is a helpful aspect to allow.

However, if wfrgms's post wasn't doing it properly, please someone create an acronym or show an example of the proper way to do it.
posted by peter_meta_kbd at 4:43 PM on April 12

whining fanatic relentlessly giving mods shit.^{1 2 3 4 5}

... and we probably won't see him here, since he has 'a strict policy of not commenting in [his] own callouts.' I don't believe it matters that he called himself out.
posted by koeselitz at 5:06 PM on April 12 [4 favorites has favorites]

SeizeTheDay: I get the feeling that koeselitz thinks he's helping. When I'm called a fuckwad, pretty much anything said before and after that gets ignored. YMMV

My style is brash. I happen to like the word 'fuckwad;' and I tend to pay attention to people who call me that. I don't always mind the insult.

But I can appreciate that some people might find it offensive. I don't believe that wfrgms is the type of person to be very bothered by it; I guess I might be wrong. Anyhow, it'd be nice if he'd come back and follow up on his petty little complaint here.
posted by koeselitz at 5:09 PM on April 12

whining fanatic relentlessly giving mods shit.

You seen what his occupation is listed as?
posted by gman at 5:10 PM on April 12

God dammit I bought decaffeinated tea at the store.
posted by boo_radley at 5:12 PM on April 12 [2 favorites has favorites]

I don't like people second-guessing comment deletions -- the job sounds hard enough without having to justify every decision. I don't remember wfrgms's answers being all that bad (I actually remember thinking "these are rather nice compared to some other comments he's posted"), but then again, it was probably just that some others (also deleted) were worse. It's certainly not worth making a big deal about.

That AskMe is definitely a train wreck. The train wreck could have been avoided and the question could have gotten more productive answers if it was asked in a different way. To get feedback on a decision to break up and get back together, include those details. To get relationship-building book recommendations, just describe the type of books you want as specifically as possible.

So, I do sympathize with the people wanting to explain what's wrong with the approach instead of answering the question, and actually, I thought that was officially okay (though I could not find the comment that explained that in twenty minutes of searching). But I think what makes it okay is doing it in a respectful way, so yeah, maybe it does all come down to tone.

Sorry I'm rambling here.
posted by salvia at 5:18 PM on April 12

Besides, SeizeTheDay: This is Metatalk. This is where we hash shit out directly and say what needs to get said to make shit right. wfrgms went into ask.metafilter and ranted and railed on a poster who was clearly in a vulnerable position, pretty much inspiring a grandiose pileon. I saw that comment, and it pissed me off. 'Fuckwad?' Yeah, I'd say that to my best friend standing right here if he was telling a girl who was going through tough crap with her boyfriend that she was 'making his eyes roll' and 'doing it wrong.'

My politeness is reserved in this case for the poster of the question, who didn't deserve answers like that.
posted by koeselitz at 5:18 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

I'm on wfrgms side here. If not for the deletion, but for the [stated reason]. It seems like snark.
posted by gjc at 5:24 PM on April 12

My style is brash.

On the internet?? How...original.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 5:36 PM on April 12 [6 favorites has favorites]

I don't know what's being grieved here - tone has always mattered to a certain extent in AskMe. Even if your answer is the most genius of all answers, if your tone is belittling and attacking and provocative, the OP isn't going to derive much use out of it. Isn't the first rule of AskMe to not be an asshole?
posted by Phire at 5:41 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

No, the first rule of AskMe is don't talk about AskMe.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:45 PM on April 12 [3 favorites has favorites]

If this is your first metatalk thread you... have to... metatalk. No, that doesn't work.
posted by boo_radley at 5:49 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

wfrgms - just so you know, whenever people have unpronounceable user names, I involuntarily make up my own pronunciation for them.

Subsequently, I will always think of you as Wiffergamous.
posted by Afroblanco at 5:51 PM on April 12 [2 favorites has favorites]

I didn't see the deleted post (I have the greasemonkey script running also but even so, I can't see it)

That script shows deleted posts. We're talking about a deleted comment not a post, which is different, as they are removed entirely -- there is no remaining URL with a deletion reason like with a post.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:51 PM on April 12

Oh yeah, and the accent is on the first syllable.
posted by Afroblanco at 5:56 PM on April 12

I read it as "wafflegems." You will always be Belgian to me.
posted by Dumsnill at 6:00 PM on April 12

Wuh-free-gums here. I don't know why.
posted by Phire at 6:02 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

Wafergames
posted by Joseph Gurl at 6:06 PM on April 12

What are you people smoking? It's obviously "wafergrams."
posted by FelliniBlank at 6:11 PM on April 12

We all began life as fuckwads. Some of us grow out of it. I'm not necessarily including myself in that group.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:11 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

I pronounce "wfrgms" as "Christ, what an asshole," but admittedly my own dialect is pretty abstruse.
posted by mcwetboy at 6:12 PM on April 12 [7 favorites has favorites]

Wefferjems.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:14 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

Wafflegrams. Waffles, delivered anywhere in the world, overnight.
posted by box at 6:24 PM on April 12 [3 favorites has favorites]

W W. xyz

Ahem.
posted by longsleeves at 6:26 PM on April 12

Here's a gem from his profile - 2/3rds of all my comments are deleted by MeFi mods. When they aren't arbitrarily deleting entire comments they don't like, they are actively editing them to remove any criticism! THEY CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! NRA4EVA!

whinging fella realizing giant martyr syndrome
posted by EatTheWeak at 6:26 PM on April 12

This callout made my eyes roll.

My mental image of "wfrgms" is of a router.
posted by mkultra at 6:27 PM on April 12 [4 favorites has favorites]

the AskMe is a trainwreck of a post.

Yeah, but that's in large part because the question is such a trainwreck.
posted by rodgerd at 6:33 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

I e-mailed the mods about that thread.

lblair didn't ask whether or not she should get back together with her boyfriend. She asked for book recommendations. She also specifically asked not to be judged for getting back together with him. Your answers didn't answer the question and your tone was hostile, patronizing and dismissive. That led to the poster feeling attacked and jumping in to defend herself, which led to a broadening of the scope of the original question, which led to a general free-for-all in which everybody and their twin brother decided the real question of the thread was actually a statement along the lines of "Please tell me why I'm an idiot to believe that introducing the concept of self-help books to my boyfriend will help fix our foundering relationship." That led to a train wreck of a thread which is pretty much evenly split between people answering the question - pointedly, I might add, so that others would follow suit (thank you, scody) - and other people feeling free to just throw in their two cents about why her approach to salvaging her relationship with a person she loves is wrong-headed, doomed to failure, naive, immature, etc., etc., etc.

That's why your answers were removed, why jessamyn dropped a note into the thread, and likely why the remainder of thread isn't open season on the poster rather than a potentially very helpful list of resources that the poster and others without the resources to seek therapy might find extremely helpful if they find themselves in pain after the break-up of a relationship that means something to them. So, yeah, that's a fucking great thing.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 6:37 PM on April 12 [5 favorites has favorites]

wiffragems, with a hard G.
posted by afu at 6:47 PM on April 12

So, yeah, that's a fucking great thing.

On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being YahooAnswers and 10 being cortessamyn octuplet love-children, how great is it?

I've got to know so that I can gauge whether the vigorous stroking of heavy handed moderation was worth $5.
posted by McGuillicuddy at 7:07 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

Best of Baseball, Volume 3: a swing and a miss! The best wiffer-gems ever caught on tape.
posted by salvia at 7:09 PM on April 12 [3 favorites has favorites]

I always take notice of wfrgms' posts for two reasons: solid, practical advice and a line or two that make me cringe. He's a funny guy and tough love can be a wonderful thing but I find his comments intentionally over-the-top harsh in places.

I can relate, as I find it difficult to read askMeFi posts about issues I feel I've "conquered" because I become impatient that the OP hasn't learned the lessons I found valuable when I was going through a similar situation. So yes, it can be frustrating, wfrgms, but it's best to abstain from commenting if you can't muster a kind response.

I think you are missing the forest for the trees - you ought to stop thinking of this as "censorship" and remember that the mods (and everyone who flagged your posts) prefer to have a supportive community than to hear your off-the-cuff judgment of users whose thinking is a little off, but who may be willing to learn if they were approached respectfully (See also: catching flies: vinegar vs. honey.)
posted by cranberrymonger at 7:14 PM on April 12

peter_meta_kbd: I didn't see the deleted post (I have the greasemonkey script running also but even so, I can't see it)

The script displays deleted posts, not deleted comments. It can do this because, unless Extreme Mod Action is taken, deleted posts are still in the database; functionally, they've just been taken off of the front-page display. Comments, on the other hand, do not stay in the database when they're deleted.

It would be a nightmare if there were a deleted comments script. People running it would reply to stuff that others can't see and seem to be blathering psychotically to themselves.
posted by CKmtl at 7:14 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

Comments, on the other hand, do not stay in the database when they're deleted.

We can still see them, actually, so I'm not sure what that means for Greasemonkey scripts.
posted by jessamyn at 7:17 PM on April 12

Besides, SeizeTheDay: This is Metatalk. This is where we hash shit out directly and say what needs to get said to make shit right.

I really hate the idea that I often see floated in Metatalk that just because you're posting in Metatalk you can say any rude and thoughtless insult that pops into your head, because Metatalk is pure and without repressive civilized boundaries like that. We're all still people in here. Insults take their toll.
posted by onlyconnect at 7:19 PM on April 12 [8 favorites has favorites]

That's only because you're like a delicate flower.
posted by gman at 7:25 PM on April 12

WifferJams.
posted by headnsouth at 7:27 PM on April 12

And lots of other people are too. She has a point.
posted by jessamyn at 7:27 PM on April 12

Who else is a WifferJam?
posted by gman at 7:29 PM on April 12

I say it Walf Riggums.
posted by klangklangston at 7:36 PM on April 12 [12 favorites has favorites]

We can still see them, actually, so I'm not sure what that means for Greasemonkey scripts.

Ah. Well, I meant that us plebes can't get to deleted comments by using the missing comment number, in the same way that it's possible to get to deleted posts by plugging in the missing thread number.
posted by CKmtl at 7:37 PM on April 12

"However, if wfrgms's post wasn't doing it properly, please someone create an acronym or show an example of the proper way to do it."

Also, man, Pete, the philosophy of answering confusion with "Somebody create an acronym!" is what forced some poor engineer to come up with TWAIN. Don't make us do it here.
posted by klangklangston at 7:38 PM on April 12

We can still see them, actually, so I'm not sure what that means for Greasemonkey scripts.

Yes, what does that mean? A hundred bucks to anyone who successfully creates this script.
posted by gman at 7:40 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

why are you so angry?

The same reason all of us Chicago MeFites are: eamondaly's beard puts our own facial hair efforts to shame.

I personally look forward to each and every one of these threads, as it allows me to add to my comprehensive "how do you pronounce that username anyway" list.

*opens notebook, clicks pen*
posted by adamdschneider at 8:09 PM on April 12

Hmm... do we share presumed pronunciations of the name in every MetaTalk thread wfrgms posts? If not, should we start?
posted by juliplease at 8:19 PM on April 12

It's not possible.
posted by Rhomboid at 8:23 PM on April 12

Everyone here needs to GFAR
posted by Damn That Television at 8:23 PM on April 12

But I ARGF
posted by nola at 8:28 PM on April 12

For some reason, I always read wfrgms as "Ralph Wiggums," which says a lot about a) multiple copies of Ralph Wiggum and b) my undiagnosed dyslexia.

WTB, your favorite dnab sucks. Kcuf, did it niaga. Kcuf!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:35 PM on April 12 [2 favorites has favorites]

I had a comment in AskMe deleted by a mod the other day. Looking back, I completely understand and agree with the deletion of my own comment.

If you spend enough time in Metafilter, you might think that snarky comments are par for the course on the entire MetaComplex. Au contraire, wfrgms! What may fly in one section of the site is not going to go over so well in another. AskMe is probably the best example, and the norms in AskMe probably show the most difference with the other parts of Metafilter.

Under most circumstances, it's not fair game to take issue with the question or the person who posted it. If you do so, you do so at risk of having your comment deleted. That is just one of the tenets of AskMe.
posted by jefeweiss at 8:35 PM on April 12

Subsequently, I will always think of you as Wiffergamous.

Whiff-RIG-hams.

That is a pretty awful thread, except for the book Scody linked to. Looks interesting, actually. Behaving like adults-- what a concept.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:45 PM on April 12

The script displays deleted posts, not deleted comments. It can do this because, unless Extreme Mod Action is taken, deleted posts are still in the database; functionally, they've just been taken off of the front-page display. Comments, on the other hand, do not stay in the database when they're deleted.

To be Mr. Redundant Clarity Guy:

- Deleted posts and deleted comments remain in the database for posterity.
- Posts are still accessible at their original url after deletion, but do not show up in archives or posting histories or etc.
- Comments are not visible after deletion, period.

It'd be possible to build a script that detects deleted comments, but it'd be tricky—unlike posts, which have incremental post ids and appear in sequence in one index (each subsite's respective front page/archives), comments have incremental comment ids but appear in any number of open threads in whatever order they happen to appear in. So identifying gaps would require not just searching a given thread but searching all open threads on a subsite.

And then you'd have the comment id of a comment you couldn't view anyway. Woo! So, probably what this means in this case for Greasemonkey is that he's going back to the primate enclosure to fuck a rainbow and cry himself to sleep.
posted by cortex at 8:55 PM on April 12 [4 favorites has favorites]

I have had several comments deleted from AskMe. My first reaction is "fuck em if they don't want to hear my opinion." So is my second third and fourth reaction. Eventually it changes to simply, "oh." Am I doing it wrong?
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:57 PM on April 12

It's Wha Friggums.
posted by dirtdirt at 9:03 PM on April 12 [2 favorites has favorites]

The problem is that answering any relationship AskMe is just like giving Satan your lunch money.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:15 PM on April 12 [6 favorites has favorites]

It'd be possible to build a script that detects deleted comments, but it'd be tricky—unlike posts, which have incremental post ids and appear in sequence in one index (each subsite's respective front page/archives), comments have incremental comment ids but appear in any number of open threads in whatever order they happen to appear in. So identifying gaps would require not just searching a given thread but searching all open threads on a subsite.

*writes script to reveal deleted comments*
*refines script to place comments in their correct places and times*
*with tasteful pink highlighting*
*does not share it with anyone, ever*

Prove I didn't do it punks. Prove. I. Didn't.
posted by Science! at 9:16 PM on April 12

Jessamyn's lame explanation: [few comments removed - if you can't answer somewhat dispassionately, please don't]

Oh, you can fuck right off. Do not call jessamyn lame.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:23 PM on April 12 [7 favorites has favorites]

good to see the "fuck a rainbow" getting swift adoption.
posted by boo_radley at 9:56 PM on April 12

♫ Rainbows ain't got friction. ♫
posted by Burhanistan at 10:03 PM on April 12 [1 favorite has favorites]

I think of radio call letters...

WFRG Morning Show: You Got Questions. Fuck You.
posted by mullacc at 10:50 PM on April 12 [14 favorites has favorites]

That thread was a pretty frustrating read, mostly because there were some good faith questions on the part of earlier responders about the types of books she might be looking for, which were ignored.

And it's "double-you efferjams."
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:52 PM on April 12

We Prefer Gams.
posted by ericb at 11:13 PM on April 12

Or, We For Gams.
posted by ericb at 11:14 PM on April 12

Gah, you're being immature.

And the use of "fuckwad" is??
posted by mattoxic at 12:47 AM on April 13

MeTa: a pretty frustrating read
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:34 AM on April 13

mattoxic: And the use of "fuckwad" is??

For the billionth time, metatalk is different, and a guy angrily blustering about his comment deletions is different from a person who's caught in a tough relationship who only wants some help.
posted by koeselitz at 3:40 AM on April 13 [1 favorite has favorites]

I've got to know so that I can gauge whether the vigorous stroking of heavy handed moderation was worth $5.

this comment needs NSFW tags
posted by mannequito at 4:03 AM on April 13 [2 favorites has favorites]

At this point, nobody can reasonably think that making a MetaTalk post about their deleted comment or post is going to result in anything other than barrages of 'brash' directed at them. It seems obvious that the stated motive is not the real one. People who make these MeTa posts are getting off on the turmoil. It's just a different aspect of trolling. I'd say just ignore them, but many people invariably ignore that advice.

Here, I'll start:
You seen what his occupation is listed as?
Also notice that he's posted a photo of his calf on the Internet. You know what that means.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:23 AM on April 13

Since this seems like the jokiest of the teh MetaTalk threads going at the moment, I just want to ask... Did I really hear NPR thanking it's sponsor ask.Metafilter.com on WNYC yesterday around 730pm? Is that wise? We'll get a reputation as some kind of namby-pamby liberal outfit.

If I were more of a MetaTalk thread startin' kind of guy I would start a thread, but there are so many other really important ones going on and I firmly believe that there should be no more than 3 MeTa post per day.
posted by clockwork at 4:56 AM on April 13

Definitely Wa-friggums.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 5:00 AM on April 13 [1 favorite has favorites]

I had a deleted comment and the best answer in the same AskMe.

Also, wiffergems.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 5:04 AM on April 13

this comment needs NSFW tags

Playing with my pickle is the moderators' work.
posted by McGuillicuddy at 5:12 AM on April 13

wuffergums. Here are some other usernames on which I've performed these sorts of gymnastics:

uncleozzy. I track this, still, as "uncle leo...uh...nonsense does not compute blargh" Presumably, it is supposed to be "Uncle Ozzy" but it was probably a year before I realized that.

snofoam. "Son of I Am" I still see it this way, it is senseless yet totally ingrained.

There are more, those are just off the top of my head.
posted by Kwine at 5:48 AM on April 13

Also notice that he's posted a photo of his calf on the Internet. You know what that means.


...Until I looked at the profile, I thought you were talking about a very different kind of calf. I'm not so sure I want to talk about what I thought that meant.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:23 AM on April 13

You thought it meant this, didn't you?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:28 AM on April 13

When I'm called a fuckwad, pretty much anything said before and after that gets ignored.

I believe this was precisely the point koeselitz was making.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:32 AM on April 13

My style is brash. I happen to like the word 'fuckwad;

My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, I'm just ferocious!
posted by electroboy at 6:38 AM on April 13 [1 favorite has favorites]

I think most of us have made decisions in our lives that would cause others' eyes to roll in disapproval. One cannot safely ascertain the intentions of every AskMe poster but I think it's safest and most charitable to assume a certain degree of sheepishness / humility on the part of the asker, even (or especially) in the case of someone who may come off as defensive, and if you're truly so experienced and clear-headed as to see right through their "bullshit problem" (my characterization) you should also possess the necessary social graces to provide an answer that does not serve to denigrate or humiliate them, unless your way of thinking and functioning in society is not sufficiently "advanced" to advance to others in the first place. This is a typical social etiquette issue IMHO; many of the the clearest, most powerful thinkers often lack the necessary tact and patience to advance their ideas in away that does not put off the very people they are so desperate to convince, and of course "those people" are such fools for letting their emotions get in the way of a Vulcanlike understanding of the real world as it is.

I don't think AskMe was ever intended to give exasperated, tortured geniuses an opportunity to vent their frustration with the inevitable shortcomings of every individual person, but it often seems there are too many people with a trigger-finger just dying for a shot to offer their paternal and acidic "assistance," which is always based on their own specific experience, always colored by their own personal shortcomings and frustrations.

Posters frequently make themselves vulnerable to condescending lectures but the purpose of AskMe is to provide answers and not to sufficiently punish or humiliate people for making unacceptable decisions.

I don't have anything against answering a question "outside of the box" so to speak, as the most insightful answers often do fall outside of the narrowly-defined scope of your typical question. I do take issue with any effort to make an asker feel small, stupid, foolish, etc, as if to punish them for modeling yourself at a different time, or somone else that pissed you off at some point in your very finite and short existence.
posted by aydeejones at 6:42 AM on April 13 [13 favorites has favorites]

I track this, still, as "uncle leo...uh...nonsense does not compute blargh" Presumably, it is supposed to be "Uncle Ozzy" but it was probably a year before I realized that.

I had and still sometimes have the same problem.

Once, back in high school, I was watching a period flick with my friend Chris and my little brother Alex. And there was this scene where an elevator opened and there was a corpse inside, and something written on the wall in blood.

And as the camera slowly panned across the writing, Chris and I sounded it out in tandam:

"Too...ooh...chah...blay. 'Too-ooh-CHAH-blay'? What the hell is 'Too-ooh-CHAH-blay'?"

Then my brother pointed out that the word was "touchable", which made a crazy kind of sense, especially once we put it in context of the film being The Untouchables.

So every time I misparse uncleozzy's names, it comes off in my head as "un-clee-OH-zee" and I end up giggling.
posted by cortex at 6:56 AM on April 13

Here are some other usernames on which I've performed these sorts of gymnastics

here's a few more :

mk1gti = Mark Juan Getty
XQZYPHR = Exquizafur
gleutchk = Glue Chunk
posted by Afroblanco at 7:19 AM on April 13

mk1gti = Mark Juan Getty

Dude, that's a VW.

Also, wfrgms is pronounced "Ralph Wiggums"
posted by Burhanistan at 7:32 AM on April 13

I know it's not a username, but I cannot see the the word "coworker" without thinking cow-orker.

And now, you share my curse.
posted by shiu mai baby at 7:43 AM on April 13

I don't like having to say something like this, but I'm unsurprised when things you say get deleted because you have a habit of coming across as condescending, and you often don't answer the asker's question. It gives the impression that you're commenting to make yourself feel superior by using the asker as a punching bag. If someone posts something like that, it makes complete sense for the mods to delete it; leaving that sort of thing up doesn't contribute anything worthwhile, and it can easily lead things in a nasty direction. Once things go down that path it's only more work for the mods, and more drama everyone else gets dragged into, so I'm glad they stay on top of things like they do.

But that's not just in that thread, either, which is its own special shitstorm. I see you do this on lots of AskMe threads, and a lot of times you don't get deleted just by merit of almost answering the question when you say something condescending. If you ask me, the mods are pretty nice to you.

I don't know if you realize how condescending you come across. I like to think you don't do it on purpose and you just don't realize how you sound. It can sometimes be difficult to offer advice if you feel the asker needs to be told something they don't want to hear, because you have to be extra sensitive to how it comes across. If you really want to help them, though, then it's worth the effort to make sure what you're saying can't be construed that way; there are some thoughtful, non-inflammatory comments in that thread that gently say some other things might help more than a book. You could have made a comment like that instead of a one-liner that does nothing but make the poster feel attacked and does not even begin to address their situation. If you didn't mean to make the poster feel that way, and you didn't think about how it would come across to them, then that's a good thing to think about before you hit "post." It might also be helpful to think, "What question did they ask, and did I answer it?" I consciously do both of these things before I post. It doesn't stop me from saying something I regret 100% of the time, but it helps a ton.

If you don't care about the asker's feelings, then there's no reason to post; you aren't interested in helping them, so if you still feel inclined to comment at that point, it's helpful to ask yourself why. I've literally closed comment boxes before because I realized I had nothing worthwhile to contribute and was just having some reaction to the question; I'm sure other people do this too. It's fine to have the impulse to make a comment that's really all about you and doesn't accomplish anything, but we all have to make some efforts to avoid acting on that impulse. As I said, I can't know your motivations for posting, but when you say something that doesn't answer their question, or just summarizes what the OP already said, it makes me think you just compulsively answer things whether you have something to say or not. And that's the best case scenario, when you're not being insulting about it -- that just makes you look worse. I'm sure that's not the impression you want to give anyone.

If you have something helpful to say, then say it in a way that will be approachable for the asker. If you can't do that, then you're causing trouble for yourself by posting; you end up making threads like this, and everyone has to tell you why you deserved it. It can't be great to deal with.
posted by Nattie at 7:47 AM on April 13 [13 favorites has favorites]

I've never understood why the mods don't delete all of my com
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:17 AM on April 13

onlyconnect : I really hate the idea that I often see floated in Metatalk that just because you're posting in Metatalk you can say any rude and thoughtless insult that pops into your head,

People who like tomatoes are all Satan worshiping pedophiles who would happily send their families to the electric chair for trivial amounts of money. This is because only someone with a personality completely divorced from reality could think that something as disgusting as a raw tomato would be edible in anything other than a sauce.

Also, they tend to dress poorly and not provide their pets with adequate attention.

Cool Papa Bell : For some reason, I always read wfrgms as "Ralph Wiggums,"

Huh, I thought I was the only one who saw that...
posted by quin at 8:30 AM on April 13 [3 favorites has favorites]

Wiffer Gams. He is a sniffer of legs. Knees have unique scent, you now, and maybe that's his bag. Not that there's anything wrong with that --I'm not knee-snifferist.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:32 AM on April 13

Anytime I've got deleted, I always immediately thought, "Ok, my bad. I was probably being a fuckface there." If I was more concerned about it, I think I'd MeMail someone before publicizing my fuckfacery in MeTa.

Also, wfrgms = Wuh Friggums.
posted by jerseygirl at 8:43 AM on April 13 [1 favorite has favorites]

All your com are delete to mods.
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:46 AM on April 13

mk1gti = Mark Juan Getty

Dude, that's a VW.

Great, now I'm imagining a car making all those posts, ala KITT from Knight Rider.
posted by Afroblanco at 9:30 AM on April 13

Whiffer Grams. You can send a whiffer gram anywhere in the United States via your friendly local (tucked behind bulletproof plexiglass in the back of a decaying building in your nearest bombed out city center) Western Union! What's a whiffer gram? I think it's something like whiffle ball, only, you know, telegraphic.

uncleozzy is NOT Unk-Lee-Oh-Zee? Damn.
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:37 AM on April 13 [2 favorites has favorites]

And the use of "fuckwad" is??

Entirely appropriate. And there'd better be some personal emergency that prevents his dropping by to respond to criticism, because fuckwads who post dumbass MeTa threads and then run and hide are cowardly fuckwads.
posted by languagehat at 9:38 AM on April 13 [7 favorites has favorites]

This is the wfrgms comment that cracked me up yesterday. Dissociative disorder? Huh? And it's too bad, too, because it perfectly illustrates jessamyn's point: he gives some really good advice but ruins it by sandwiching said advice between two slices of crazy-insult bread.

BTW, in my head his name is always pronounced wiffergerms.
posted by lunasol at 9:38 AM on April 13 [1 favorite has favorites]

From Wefferjems "answer" that lunasol posted:

Q: I have taken separate classes that cover the 18th and 19th centuries of the United States, Spain, and Russia, and yet I can't think back an event in Spain during this time and have any idea of what was going on in the United States or Russia at the time.

Wefferjems: Are you sure this isn't psychological on your part? I mean there are all types of various dissociative disorders which could account for this type of disconnect.

I mean ... what?! Weffs, buddy, I think the question you need to be asking is why more of your answers aren't deleted.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:56 AM on April 13 [2 favorites has favorites]

We Fergums. I have no idea what a fergum is, but I am positive that wfrgms is a member of group of them, and that he frequently speaks for the group.
posted by flashboy at 9:58 AM on April 13 [1 favorite has favorites]

I know it's not a username, but I cannot see the the word "coworker" without thinking cow-orker.

This is symptomatic of dilbert.com exposure. There is no cure, but fortunately, it's not very contagious.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:03 AM on April 13

It's wuh-FIRMS. The "g" is silent. Duh.
posted by Pax at 10:30 AM on April 13

I know it's not a username, but I cannot see the the word "coworker" without thinking cow-orker.

When I was very young and being taught how to spell, I noticed that the word "together" also spelled out the phrase "to get her," and the word has had a sense of menace to me ever since. Same with Connecticut, with the eerie "Connect, I cut." buried inside it.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:58 AM on April 13

Bookhouse, I still use those mnemonics if it's any consolation. Which it's probably not. That and, bless Sister Carol at St. Scholastica school and her timeless advice: "Be above 'par' and remember how to spell 'se-par-ate.'" It's served me well.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:09 AM on April 13

languagehat - Word. I was just thinking about this "don't comment in my own call-outs" policy of his. Aside from the weasely cowardice of this position, it seems to me that, if one participates in so many dumbass MeTa callouts that they've gone so far as to articulate a policy regarding callouts, they're officially spending too much time stirring up shit on this site and maybe ought to take themselves much, much less seriously.
posted by EatTheWeak at 11:13 AM on April 13 [5 favorites has favorites]

I'm loving the pronunciations. I think I'm going to take up Walph Riggums, myself.
posted by ocherdraco at 11:18 AM on April 13

"Fuckfacery" is my new favorite noun. Between that and "GFAR," I'm now pretty well set for marginal comments to use on the rest of this semester's student essays -- thanks a million, MeFi!
posted by FelliniBlank at 11:24 AM on April 13 [1 favorite has favorites]

Bookhouse didn't italicize "I know it's not a username..." and I missed it the first time it was posted. As such, it appeared, to me, as if Kirth Girson was quoting something that was written after he quoted it.

It blew my goddamn mind.
posted by SpiffyRob at 11:26 AM on April 13 [1 favorite has favorites]

What is GFAR? Srsly. Is it Global Federation for Agricultural Research?
posted by Mister_A at 11:30 AM on April 13

I'm loving the pronunciations. I think I'm going to take up Walph Riggums, myself.

Either way, someone's seriously had their wookie bent on this thread.
posted by panboi at 11:32 AM on April 13 [1 favorite has favorites]

Why is there no flameout on here yet? Gah!
posted by ob at 11:38 AM on April 13

aydeejones: I don't think AskMe was ever intended to give exasperated, tortured geniuses an opportunity to vent their frustration with the inevitable shortcomings of every individual person

Jesus, yes - I keep telling people: that's what metatalk is for!
posted by koeselitz at 11:56 AM on April 13

Bookhouse didn't italicize "I know it's not a username..." and I missed it the first time it was posted. As such, it appeared, to me, as if Kirth Girson was quoting something that was written after he quoted it.

Indeed, my bad.
posted by Bookhouse at 12:00 PM on April 13

That and, bless Sister Carol at St. Scholastica school and her timeless advice: "Be above 'par' and remember how to spell 'se-par-ate.'" It's served me well.

I had an editor once who stalked up to my desk, stuck his red Irish face in mine, and, while pounding on the desk, screamed: "There is A RAT in 'separate!' There is A RAT in 'separate!' " He scared the shit out of me. I never spelled it wrong again.
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:05 PM on April 13 [2 favorites has favorites]

It would be a nightmare if there were a deleted comments script. People running it would reply to stuff that others can't see and seem to be blathering psychotically to themselves.

So, business as usual, then?

Also: it's spelled "wfrgms", but it's pronounced "nacho".
posted by owtytrof at 12:26 PM on April 13

Indeed, my bad.

Not at all. Mindblowing is a positive, for me at least. Pew pew pew!
posted by SpiffyRob at 1:18 PM on April 13

I still sound out "tomorrow" as "Tom or row" when I write it down, it's the only way I can remember how many m's and r's are in there. Also: "Never embarrass yourself by forgetting that embarrass has two r's."

And: Wuh Friggums.

Though I do like "Walph Riggums" it's always going to be "Wuh Friggums" in my head.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:27 PM on April 13

wfrgms to me has been Dubya Fergie Missus.
Or Woofergrams.
Or Williforg Mississippi.
W Framinghams... west Framingham?

But now: Walph Riggums, indeed.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 3:30 PM on April 13

"Connect i cut" and "There's a rat in separate"

Thanks for reminding me of my mom. I loved my mom. She'd have loved Mefi.
posted by stubby phillips at 5:05 PM on April 13

(except for the intemperate language)
posted by stubby phillips at 5:06 PM on April 13

Woofergums. Uh huh.
posted by Evangeline at 7:22 PM on April 13

Also: it's spelled "wfrgms", but it's pronounced "nacho".

Hunh, I read it as "Petulant jag-off noisemaker", but I was in French immersion from Grades 1 - 6, so MMMV.

fuckwads who post dumbass MeTa threads and then run and hide are cowardly fuckwads.

Ageed. If someone makes it clear they intend to use MeTa to whine and dash rather than actively participate in a constructive discussion, their posts should get the hook right off the bat.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:40 PM on April 13

It's wuh-FIRMS. The "g" is silent. Duh.
That's getting closer to what my brain does, which is elide "f" and "g" to come up with "worms."
posted by mustard seeds at 1:53 AM on April 14

No-one else for Whiffer Gems?
posted by harriet vane at 3:55 AM on April 14

Not if they smell anything like I think they do.
posted by gman at 4:31 AM on April 14

"There is A RAT in 'separate!'"

Oh man, I always spell this wrong and this will totally help. Thanks, CunningLinguist! The other one I always fuck up is privilege...anyone got one for that?
posted by Kwine at 4:59 AM on April 14

how about "in the privy, i read"? (priv I lege)

(it could be that i do too many cryptic crosswords)
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:06 AM on April 14 [1 favorite has favorites]

Crickey. I would speculate that wfrgms (nacho! ha) is moving a couch and may not be directly connected to internet.


[X] I am not just me being peevish, I sincerely think this topic needs the attention of the whole community

Discussing the merits and problems surrounding the censorship issue is likely a lost clause in this thread, but this isn't the first time it has come up and will not be the last. People have very high, perhaps unrealistic, expectations around here, which is a strength and a weakness. Mefi & Ask aren't broken, but Meta and threads like this one and this are how they avoid that.

This ugly lot is what self policing looks like - the amusing asides and randomness are part of the character. And we do it all the time. A number of folks have even discussed the main issue, tone, which is what got the original comment nuked, prompted this meta, and then the call out's tone also raised the ire of a number of folks.

Do six comments really make someone a relentless critic (hyperbole, I know) but why not a hundred? Imagine someone who was that concerned with the details of how this place was run. Are we really expecting people to be dispassionate on Ask AND Meta? Is Meta going to war on snark? I'm working on less snark, and I don't know if snarking about snark is really the best solution.

Disclaimer: I know wfrgms in real life, but not enough to help him with the couch (double ha!).
posted by zenon at 5:02 PM on April 14

Imagine someone who was that concerned with the details of how this place was run. Are we really expecting people to be dispassionate on Ask AND Meta? Is Meta going to war on snark? I'm working on less snark, and I don't know if snarking about snark is really the best solution.

There's a few issues here really. The main one is that this is something that comes up with wfrgms a lot. He's got a low enough usernumber that he's been around as long as AskMe has. He's posted six MeTa threads two of which seem to go after me somewhat directly. This may be because I'm the main AskMe moderator, it may not. He posts MeTa threads calling the mods names and then doesn't come back to even discuss the topic.

If this were the case of someone who had had a few comments removed once in a while, we'd understand, maybe write them a note explaining what was up. In this case, wfrgms has stuff deleted from AskMe regularly and appears to have a difference of opinion about how the site should run. That's certainly not against the rules but being belligerent about an existing guideline really isn't a stellar way to have people look at the guideline and think "huh, should we be more flexible about this?" Tone matters. That's not new. wfrgms maybe thinks it shouldn't matter, but he's not stating his case terribly well.
posted by jessamyn at 7:19 PM on April 14

I may have something in common with wormyfigs. jessamyn and others apparently interpret things that we write that don't appear to us to be mean-spirited, either as being mean-spirited, or as being likely to be interpreted as mean-spirited by others, and in the askme context, sometimes delete them.

I learned (for instance) that "your letter made my eyes roll" isn't necessarily a judgment of the person writing the letter: it can also be simply a fact about the experience of the person, offered as feedback. I learned this at the Ganas Foundation For Feedback Learning, the brainchild of Mildred Gordon and now carried on by many at Ganas.

But the conventional interpretation might be more reasonable for people who haven't embraced that esoteric interpretation of feedback.

Now why would wormyfigs and i both have parts of our username lacking vowels? probably yet another example of focusing excessively on one specific interpretation of utility to the exclusion of considering the likely opinion of others.
posted by peter_meta_kbd at 7:12 AM on April 15

Your comment made my eyes roll.
posted by box at 7:36 AM on April 15

Crickey. I would speculate that wfrgms (nacho! ha) is moving a couch and may not be directly connected to internet.

on Saturday. So unless it's going to take him 3 more days to logistically work that out, he has more than enough sets of 5 minutes to log on to the website he visits so frequently.

This is crap. If you're boned enough about it to start a stink-on, see it through. Otherwise this is cowardly vandalism, much more offensive seeing how low your user number is.
posted by cavalier at 7:39 AM on April 15

jessamyn and others apparently interpret things that we write that don't appear to us to be mean-spirited, either as being mean-spirited, or as being likely to be interpreted as mean-spirited by others, and in the askme context, sometimes delete them.

Yup. We're not mind readers. We will be happy to work with you if you have a hard time understanding the general community mindset or how to answer a question without inadvertently insulting people. We have a lot of people with a lot of different backgrounds and approaches to how to communicate which is why we have guidelines and not hard and fast rules.

However, we'd like AskMe to be a place where people feel comfortable communicating about difficult topics, sometimes. With that in mind, answers that seem to be berating, belittling, making fun of or generally harassing the people asking the question get a tougher look than answers that lack these qualities. This is not to say that you can't disagree with or question the person asking the question, but it is to say that even though "your question made my eyes roll" may be a statement of fact, that doesn't mean that it's okay as a response in Ask MetaFilter. Just because something is true doesn't make it appropriate in this particular context.

This is not so much a "be nice" guideline as a "Please look over your answer and see if it seems like you're being jerkish. If so, we can do without your answer." You're responsible for not only your words and intentions but how the community is likely to take them, with the moderators as arbiters of that if there's a dispute. This thread seems to say that while wfrgms has his own interpretation of what should be okay for AskMe, it's not one that resonates with the MeT audience [a subset of the AskMe audience]

Without putting too fine a point on it, no one has a right to answer questions here if they can't get a handle on how to do so without pissing other people off, repeatedly. 87% of the people who contribute to AskMe have never had a comment deleted. With that in mind, almost half a percent of MeFites have had over 25 comments deleted from AskMe. Put another way "0.4% of the user base responsible for at least 15% of deleted answers" Put another way: a very small set of users appear to have a hard time groking the rules of AskMe and those users account for an awful lot of moderator time, both there and here in MeTa.
posted by jessamyn at 8:09 AM on April 15

There is a whole mess of issues here, some of them are pretty important. Things I don't think are terribly important issues includes someone's user number. Some people are going to push some of the rules some of the time and being an old codger around here is a largely trivial part of that. The fact that a small minority consume a large portion of the resources is the very definition of a tragedy of the commons, and I think on some level inherent in a system like this, and may not really be a tragedy at all, you can always keep scrolling down (thar be dragons).

wfrgms may have complained a bunch of times in comments or memail, but I looked at his Meta posts, he has 2 posts on comments getting deleted, including this one, one on a double post (To Keep!), something that got fixed, and 2 on community meetups. Despite the snarky profile info, he's not exactly busting out on meta with pure evil, well, except Texas apparently.

Jessamyn, your reference to statistics implies that wfrgms falls into this relatively rare population of repeat Ask deletors, which is more work for you. Let's say he's had 50 deleted comments - twice the arbitrary number you offered, that's around 3% of his ask me comments. If this was school wfrgms would still be an A student. This isn't anything like school, this is the serious business of the internets, with people calling out for wfrgms to man up and roll around in the muck.

I won't speak to wfrgms motivations, but it might be better for individuals who fire up a hot meta post to refrain from the fray, and egging on flame-outs is a low sport. The reference to the couch move question on ask was to serve a couple of points, mainly that arguing on meta isn't going to move a couch. It would be better if some of the questions were answered, and better still if everyone conducted themselves with the cold love of hard logic, and I could go on but really it comes down to hot headed folks are going to bang heads once in a while.

That said, calling mods names is like yelling at the bartender, its just bad form and not something I endorse, and I'm not arguing that behaving like an ass is the way to go either. And there is a lot of ass to go around, but 5imian's comments, and the resulting discussion over in this thread demonstrate that calm arguments about censorship can be done well on meta.
posted by zenon at 12:39 PM on April 15

If this was school wfrgms would still be an A student.

And if it were milk, he'd be between low-fat and whole. I understand your point here, but I think this is an apples/oranges comparison. That, and your estimation of his deleted comments is low. I'm okay with wfrgms deciding not to participate here, but it just makes him look more like a shit stirrer and less like a problem-solver and I don't think the peanut gallery effect here has much to do with that.
posted by jessamyn at 12:53 PM on April 15

If this was school wfrgms would still be an A student.

Of course, everybody would be an A student. And this would suddenly, for some reason, be school, which doesn't make any sense.

The reference to the couch move question on ask was to serve a couple of points, mainly that arguing on meta isn't going to move a couch.

Posting a metatalk thread in first place also isn't going to move a couch. The couch, presumably, is located in the school?

I appreciate that you're trying to argue the far side of something, here, but your analogies are bizarre to the point of being distracting.

As much as anything, it might be better for people who have a history of (a) firing up a hot meta post and (b) refusing to engage in it at all to just stop firing up said hot meta posts in the first place. Calm arguments can be done well, yes, but this wasn't an example of that from the get-go and feels like wfrgms once again creating work and bad will well out of proportion with most of mefites.

I'm not sure if you feel like that's something that needs defending per se or if you're just casually observing that it's something that's likely to happen in the context of large group dynamics, so I'll hold off digging further into the point until you clarify or elaborate some if you're wanting to.
posted by cortex at 1:11 PM on April 15

The point is really simple, actually. We're all students in the school of life, when you think about it. There's a beginning, there's other people, and then at some point someone smacks the back of your head when you're getting a drink from the hall water fountain. Pretty apt comparison, isn't it? I know that's a pretty mind-blowing metaphor, so I'm sorry if I just shattered your world. I'll give you all a few minutes to pick up the pieces of your fractured psyche.

Are you back? OK. Secondly, couches aren't necessarily heavily; they're just cumbersome. If you were to take that came weight and compress it into something the size of, say, a book of matches, you'd have no trouble moving a couch by yourself. It would, however, be pretty difficult to sit down comfortably on one. Which is why couches are in fact much larger than books of matches. Do you see how that all ties together, the way the universes balances itself out?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:23 PM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

People have very high, perhaps unrealistic, expectations around here

We really, really don't. Many many users of the site very rarely have a comment/post/answer deleted, if at all, and when they do their response is closer to "oops!" than "WTF mods?". It's pretty easy, actually.
posted by dirtdirt at 1:27 PM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

If this was school wfrgms would still be an A student.

Of course, everybody would be an A student. And this would suddenly, for some reason, be school, which doesn't make any sense.

And some really great baseball players would be flunking out.
posted by Pax at 1:30 PM on April 15

If this was school wfrgms would still be an A student.

No, more like he'd probably be expelled for being disruptive.
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:03 PM on April 15

Its a very old busted heavy couch that folds out and sleeps a big old gang cranky mefi's, baseball players and students. The first person who falls asleep gets a fish in their pants. The last person who falls asleep gets to sing the last verse of the abc longboat song all by their lonesome, until they cry themselves to sleep.

jessamyn: Low estimation huh? I assumed his profile claims/arguments were there to yank people's chains. I'd rather not know what the total is, I'm glad you caught were I was going with that line of thought.

If I spent all day cleaning up around here - everything would start to look like a mess. I am not about to tell the mods that repeatedly cleaning up after the same gang of folks is some kind of treat, just a reminder that wfrgms ain't perfect- he's not some giant angry misfit all of the time. A balanced perspective is tough - and I'm not about to pretend that I've got a better one than the most of the folks around here, or that I am even able to articulate it.

Expectations seem to drive a big part of the discussion in this thread: the mods appear to expect dispassionate askme responses, and a fair number of folks expect a dispassionate and even handed line of thinking when someone is posting a meta regarding deletions. A couple expect posters to stick around to answer questions. Some folks get a little fired up when their expectations aren't met. I expected to be totally understood - and I expect to be able to somehow articulate a line of argument that basically says: we all don't need to get emotional when someone else is emotional, but we should allow for emotional responses because we're human. I also expect moving couches to impede typing on a computer, and in hindsight- totally not an important part of the issue, in part because I also expected wfrgms to rejoin the discussion.
posted by zenon at 3:50 PM on April 15

My favorite mentally mispronounced username:

lampoil -- "lahm-poo-EEHL" like it's french or something.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:33 PM on April 15

egging on flame-outs is a low sport.

Not only that; it's a terribly inefficient way of making an omelette.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:08 PM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

Good God. Lamp Oil. That user's name is Lamp Oil. Not, as it turns out, Lam Poil. Just got clobbered by Clue Truck.
posted by Kwine at 9:57 PM on April 15

Wait, it's not Cluet Ruck?
posted by cortex at 9:58 PM on April 15

Of course not, Cort Ex.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:50 PM on April 15

*struggles for an appropriate Dark Tower joke, but doesn't remember any romantic interests for Cort*
posted by Kwine at 9:26 AM on April 16

Romantic interest for Cort? Maude.
posted by dirtdirt at 9:50 AM on April 16

Sixteen down, five letters, ends with e. Thanks, dirtdirt!

Now, on to the "Cheers and Jeers."
posted by malocchio at 10:33 AM on April 16

Mods are a lot more patient than I am. I'd ban the .4, anyone who gets a response deleted more than, say, twice.
posted by ambient2 at 2:15 PM on April 18