Sell-Outs October 14, 2009 6:08 AM   Subscribe


What? It looks exactly like Metafilter, only with a slightly smaller font. OH NOES!!! TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIFOCALS
posted by the dief at 6:10 AM on October 14, 2009


*nods, checks list* As it so happens, Beelzebub does have a devil put aside for you.
posted by adipocere at 6:10 AM on October 14, 2009 [7 favorites]


That's pretty damn funny. Sadly, on my site I have a big open whitespace in the upper right corner, so it looks like it's made for my site.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:11 AM on October 14, 2009


Is this something I'd need Flash unblocked to get?
posted by Midnight Rambler at 6:15 AM on October 14, 2009


felix betachat's joke beta

"special place in hell"
comparison of Sartre's No Exit to MeTa
"you're already there"
posted by felix betachat at 6:15 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


Awesome. I almost spit my coffee out.

Also, it's inspired me to brandish weapons and misspelled protest signs the next time pb and mathowie try to give us new functionality. Not on my watch!
posted by ignignokt at 6:21 AM on October 14, 2009


You are the magnet and I am Steele
posted by porn in the woods at 6:23 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


*stands up and slowly, steadily, begins clapping*
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:23 AM on October 14, 2009 [7 favorites]


My metafilter experience is now complete.
posted by Atreides at 6:25 AM on October 14, 2009


I wanted to grab him by the head and shake him like a Mii.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:27 AM on October 14, 2009 [4 favorites]


I think that link would be even funnier over a gay porn dating site.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:34 AM on October 14, 2009 [7 favorites]


'Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.'
posted by eatyourcellphone at 6:36 AM on October 14, 2009 [4 favorites]


Wow. I felt my connection to the Dark Side surge as the hate and anger hit me, and then the guy in the next cube had his monitor go out.

Cooooooooooooooooooooool.
posted by mephron at 6:41 AM on October 14, 2009 [3 favorites]


Who is that ridiculous little man and why is he not holding a ridiculous little dog?
posted by kittyprecious at 6:43 AM on October 14, 2009


I don't get it.
posted by JanetLand at 6:52 AM on October 14, 2009 [4 favorites]


Glorious.

I'd love to see Steele turned into a classic screensaver. I miss those sheep.
posted by maudlin at 6:57 AM on October 14, 2009


I don't get it either. If this depends on Flash or Javascript we probably need to know that.
posted by crapmatic at 6:59 AM on October 14, 2009


crapmatic, I turned off NoScript on Firefox after seeing the reactions here. It's worth it.
posted by maudlin at 7:01 AM on October 14, 2009


Yes, it's Flash - it's Metafilter (or whatever site you toss at it) overlayed with a tiny walking talking Michael Steele introducing it as "The New GOP.com" - which I haven't seen, but which has been mocked quite a bit elsewhere on the web.
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:02 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hey! The little man says that I can write code for the GOP! I think I'll do that. I hope my code ends up getting a cool name like "Code Red". I think that's a great name for a software program.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:09 AM on October 14, 2009 [2 favorites]


And yes, you are going to hell. But, like they say, go to heaven for the climate, or go to hell for the company.
posted by double block and bleed at 7:10 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


The scariest part was that the page appeared as if I was logged out. Then I realized the GOP loves scare tactics.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:21 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


Definitely worth turning off Flash and wading through backstory for.
posted by JanetLand at 7:25 AM on October 14, 2009


Wow. That made my day. Very nice.
posted by KAS at 7:26 AM on October 14, 2009


This is now the one link I've opened from MeFi that I'm going to be embarrassed if I have to explain it to my bosses.

Yes, even more embarrassing than the girlfriend-masturbation AskMe I just answered.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:28 AM on October 14, 2009


Why doesn't it work over google?
posted by cjorgensen at 7:31 AM on October 14, 2009


Obvious. Obviouser.
posted by DU at 7:35 AM on October 14, 2009


If I knew more about the intricacies of writing code I'd totally be making a conservative-coder-vs-liberal-coder joke right here.
posted by Liver at 7:36 AM on October 14, 2009


Both conservative and liberal coders know that all variable declarations are local.
posted by DU at 7:38 AM on October 14, 2009 [2 favorites]


Yes, even more embarrassing than the girlfriend-masturbation AskMe I just answered.

Embarrassing? More like AWESOME.
posted by gman at 7:40 AM on October 14, 2009


Great. Now I need a new monitor to replace the one I punched. Thanks, dick.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:43 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


OMIGOD HE JUST DISAPPEARED!

Why didn't he walk out like he'd walked in?!

HE MUST BE THE DEVIL!
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 7:54 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


At GOP.com, something new is happening, and that something new... is you!
posted by naju at 8:05 AM on October 14, 2009 [8 favorites]


Okay see, that was witty, and made me giggle. I need that this morning, so thanks!

(And to be honest, I imagine that if I was the target audience, I'd actually appreciate his attempt to engage me. So, I actually went to go look for his real site, and came across gop.com. And started looking around.)

Was that your secret plan cloeburner? Because if so, well played. Well played.....
posted by anitanita at 8:20 AM on October 14, 2009


....Clearly I missed some current-events event that would let me get this....what was it?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:24 AM on October 14, 2009


Empress,
The GOP redid their website in the 2.0 fashion, only to have it crashing on launch and lots of errors, some of them timely, such as the link for Future Leaders was borked, going to a page that said "No such page exists" or something similar.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:35 AM on October 14, 2009 [2 favorites]


Thanks Brandon, but now who's that guy wandering across my screen? How is he connected in to this?

Sorry -- the past couple weeks have been somewhat of a blur.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:40 AM on October 14, 2009


So he's been digitized and converted to pure electrons? Does this mean he's going to start showing up in my videogames?

Because if I see him in an opposing car in Burnout, I'm pushing him into a bridge abutment.

And now that the videogame concept has been put in my head, I'm having terrible visions of him teabagging opponents in an online FPS

*shudder*

posted by quin at 8:40 AM on October 14, 2009


EmpressCallipygos, that's Michael Steele, Chairman of the Republican National Committee. I am assuming this clip was featured on GOP.com, but has now been co-opted and can be humorously placed on any website.
posted by cloeburner at 8:49 AM on October 14, 2009


The New GOP.com’ - which I haven't seen, but which has been mocked quite a bit elsewhere on the web.

What Up?’ RNC changes the name of widely mocked blog to ‘Change the Game,’ ditches floating Steele character.
“‘The Republican National Committee (RNC) had a rough day yesterday as it tried to launch the new GOP.com. Visitors noticed telling gaps on the site (such as an empty ‘Future Leaders’ section), significant distortions (like naming baseball legend and registered independent Jackie Robinson a ‘great Republican’), the accidental disclosure of RNC passwords and files, and constant outages. But one of the most widely mocked parts of the site was Chairman Michael Steele’s blog called ‘What Up?

After facing a day of ridicule, the RNC has quietly switched the name of the blog to ‘Change the Game.’ It also ditched the floating Steele figure that would start walking and talking onto your screen. Robinson, however, is still listed as a Republican, and there are still no GOP accomplishments listed after 2004. Despite yesterday’s missteps, Steele said that he was happy about yesterday’s roll-out — especially when the site crashed and no one could access it. ‘This thing has exploded off the blocks,’ Steele insisted. ‘It’s a good thing when you get another email from [RNC New Media Director Todd Herman] saying, ‘It’s down again.’’ Hot Air’s Allahpundit disagreed, however, noting the universal ridicule the site engendered yesterday: ‘Way to score an own goal, pal, completely needlessly and amateurishly.’”
posted by ericb at 8:51 AM on October 14, 2009 [3 favorites]


What Up?’ RNC changes the name of widely mocked blog to ‘Change the Game,’ ditches floating Steele character.

I love the implication that Michael Steele is a humorous fictional character invented by RNC. It would explain a lot.
posted by EarBucket at 8:56 AM on October 14, 2009 [4 favorites]


I lol'd.
posted by Ouisch at 9:08 AM on October 14, 2009


I must be doing it wrong. I tried to click the "Become a Member" button, but it just took me to the podcast.
posted by brandman at 9:12 AM on October 14, 2009


Brilliant! I am tempted to walk down the block to 310 First St. SE and tell them about it!

I miss the sheep, too.
posted by jgirl at 9:16 AM on October 14, 2009


I just tried to look at gop.com and got:

3

That's right -- the number "3." That's it. No graphics, no text, just a small "3" in the upper-left corner.

Looks like we have the makings of a Dan Brown mystery!
posted by brain_drain at 9:35 AM on October 14, 2009 [4 favorites]


Needs a floating Kanye to say, Wait a minute, I'mma let you finish, but Howard Dean was one of the best party chairmen of all time!
posted by klangklangston at 9:41 AM on October 14, 2009 [10 favorites]


His audio stutters like it's streaming over a 14.4k modem.
posted by GuyZero at 9:54 AM on October 14, 2009


Thanks for the CC since I cannot listen to audio at work. Very nice job!
posted by mightshould at 10:01 AM on October 14, 2009


Hell here: cloeburner, your special place is now ready!
posted by Lynsey at 10:09 AM on October 14, 2009


So he's been digitized and converted to pure electrons? Does this mean he's going to start showing up in my videogames?

Yeah except he'll be on the side of the bad, red programs oppressing the good, blue worker programs and.. hrm.
posted by fleacircus at 10:11 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


But one of the most widely mocked parts of the site was Chairman Michael Steele’s blog called ‘What Up?’

I am personally embarrassed for Steele. Could the GOP make it any more clear that Steele is just a token black man? "What Up?" indeed. Just plain embarrassing, that.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:12 AM on October 14, 2009 [6 favorites]


Wait - I'm confused. Is this guy a Mac or a PC?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:15 AM on October 14, 2009 [3 favorites]


That guy should fire his tailor.
posted by Zambrano at 10:17 AM on October 14, 2009


WORST PONY EVER
posted by the painkiller at 10:18 AM on October 14, 2009 [5 favorites]


That's the worst recruitment video for Metafilter I've ever seen, even worse than the dancing baby.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:23 AM on October 14, 2009


But one of the most widely mocked parts of the site was Chairman Michael Steele’s blog called ‘What Up?’

I am personally embarrassed for Steele. Could the GOP make it any more clear that Steele is just a token black man? "What Up?" indeed. Just plain embarrassing, that.


You can practically see his strings; it could not be more obvious that the guy is just a spokesman with no actual clout.
posted by Caduceus at 10:25 AM on October 14, 2009


I never tire of hearing your ideas for our Country and how living a life of personal responsibility, thrift and charity has helped your families and your businesses.

Attention!
RESPONSIBILITY, THRIFT, and CHARITY are cherished Republican values... starting now.
posted by Ratio at 10:27 AM on October 14, 2009


Needs a floating Kanye to say, Wait a minute, I'mma let you finish, but Howard Dean was one of the best party chairmen of all time!

*blinks*

Please, please tell me someone, somewhere is working on actually implementing this idea because AWESOME.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:31 AM on October 14, 2009


Strom Steele
posted by billysumday at 10:37 AM on October 14, 2009


This may confuse your Republican friends/family...
posted by billysumday at 10:39 AM on October 14, 2009 [2 favorites]


http://hammerandsteele.com/?u=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAwR6w2TgxY

youtube and michael steele: "Express YOURSELF!" *shakes ass*
posted by quanta and qualia at 10:49 AM on October 14, 2009


uh. i mean "Express Yourself"
posted by quanta and qualia at 10:50 AM on October 14, 2009


I'm waiting for someone to register thenewgopdotcom.com and tailor it to Steele's speech content and gestures. It hasn't happened yet.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:57 AM on October 14, 2009


Juggalo GOP.
posted by billysumday at 11:03 AM on October 14, 2009


I'm surprised Steele's blog isn't called Some Of My Best Friends Are Black.
posted by klangklangston at 11:07 AM on October 14, 2009 [3 favorites]


I preferred Sapphire and Steel.
posted by Electric Dragon at 11:10 AM on October 14, 2009


I think it's funnier when it's even more accurate.

Say... this.
posted by graventy at 11:26 AM on October 14, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's like a new toy I can't put down. Thanks, GOP!
posted by chairface at 11:34 AM on October 14, 2009




It's like when I go to one of those sham health e-book sites and the friendly representative pops up to help me make my decision.

"But wait! If you vote republican in the next election, we will give you a free, digitial copy of 29 Fat-Burning Secrets Your Doctor Doesn't Endorse!"
posted by mmmbacon at 11:38 AM on October 14, 2009


There is a special place in hell for you.
posted by msali at 12:21 PM on October 14, 2009


This.
posted by potch at 12:22 PM on October 14, 2009 [6 favorites]


The GOP's bio page for Ronald Reagan refers to the Gipper as "Ronaldus Magnus."
posted by EarBucket at 12:22 PM on October 14, 2009


oh my god

I love how he shifts uncomfortably for a moment or two at the end and you can hear a PA say something. It's like GOP by Herzog.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:24 PM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think that link would be even funnier over a gay porn dating site.

Uh, a what? That's a pretty niche site, if you ask me.
posted by spiderskull at 12:32 PM on October 14, 2009




Aw. Cetacean furries hate America. Sorry. But we should consider the gravity of that threat to our security.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:41 PM on October 14, 2009


Christ, but that GOP.com is painfully red, isn't it? I mean, I know red is the official Republican color and it isn't a badly-graphic-designed site as far as those things go, but the bright screaming red taking up the top two inches of my monitor makes me doubt I could spend much time there even if I supported their buffoonery.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:12 PM on October 14, 2009


Last year I was driving a car with my sister sitting in the front passenger seat, and a spider dangled down a thread right in front of her face. She just about had a fit trying to simultaneously a) swat it away and b) not touch it.

I had pretty much the same reaction when Steele walked out onto my computer monitor.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:17 PM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


The GOP's bio page for Ronald Reagan refers to the Gipper as "Ronaldus Magnus."

Wow, I thought you were kidding. WTF?
posted by gleuschk at 1:18 PM on October 14, 2009


Dammit, I was fully expecting that this would have to do with Pierce Brosnan. Boy was I disappointed!

Then I remembered that the show was called "Remington Steele" and that the maybe five minutes of it I've seen were terrible. So I'm not disappointed anymore. In fact, I'm quite enjoying the image of Pierce Brosnan welcoming me to the Grand Ol' Party in front of a wholly inappropriate website.
posted by clorox at 1:18 PM on October 14, 2009


"What up?" is just about the perfect name for his blog.

But, given the era they seem to be drawing slang from, and the economic niche they target, wouldn't "Yo homes, to Bel Air!" have been a better title?
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:19 PM on October 14, 2009


And yes you would need to be American and have seen "Fresh Prince" to get that joke.

You also need Flash, js, a web browser that is not called "Mosaic," and the power of electricity brought inside your house by wires.
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:21 PM on October 14, 2009 [4 favorites]


> "What Up?" indeed. Just plain embarrassing, that.

Yeah, but it could have been "Wassssuup".
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:21 PM on October 14, 2009


Turns out "Ronald Magnus" is a Limbaugh thing. I could have sworn we were supposed to be the ones with a Messiah complex.
posted by EarBucket at 1:22 PM on October 14, 2009


Turns out "Ronald Magnus" is a Limbaugh thing. I could have sworn we were supposed to be the ones with a Messiah complex.

Their god is dead (again)?
posted by filthy light thief at 1:28 PM on October 14, 2009


I just tried to look at gop.com and got:

3

That's right -- the number "3."


Oh, that's just another GOP re-branding, but this time as an alternate reality game! Which is actually pretty fitting.
posted by drinkyclown at 1:28 PM on October 14, 2009


Yo Will Smith, I'm happy for you and ima let you finish, but Beyonce got in one little fight and her mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:30 PM on October 14, 2009


cortex: Yo Will Smith, I'm happy for you and ima let you finish, but Beyonce got in one little fight and her mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air

Overmemed.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:33 PM on October 14, 2009


Doesn't work for me on FF 3 or Chromium on linux.

Oh well, the last thing I need is more GOP in my life.
posted by chrisamiller at 2:19 PM on October 14, 2009


Christ, but that GOP.com is painfully red, isn't it?

Honestly, I thought it came across a little Communist-themed. Which is deeply ironic.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:23 PM on October 14, 2009


Huh. Seems to be borked now.
posted by eyeballkid at 2:23 PM on October 14, 2009


Looks like http://gop.com/assets/mSteele.swf has been removed.

BOOOO.
posted by eyeballkid at 2:24 PM on October 14, 2009


I wouldn't be surprised if it gets a cease and desist by the end of the day. Right of publicity and all that.
posted by naju at 2:25 PM on October 14, 2009


Looks like http://gop.com/assets/mSteele.swf has been removed.

If you strike down my reuse of your flash thing, it shall become more prevalent than you could possibly imagine...
posted by filthy light thief at 2:32 PM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's still loading for me.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:35 PM on October 14, 2009


In related news: Steele: I’m The ‘Cow On The Tracks’ Trying To Block The Health Care Train.

Good luck with that.

Wrong metaphor. Trains very often plow into cows on the tracks.

Heck -- that's why the device on the front of a train is called a cowcather, dumbass!
posted by ericb at 3:11 PM on October 14, 2009


Ericb, I'm sure you meant cowcatcher, but thanks for giving me the image of a catheter being inserted into a cow.
posted by msali at 3:14 PM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


msali -- you are right.

I, too, like the image of a catheter being inserted into a cow ... or better yet, into an elephant. Many are 'taking the piss' on the GOP these days.
posted by ericb at 3:18 PM on October 14, 2009


It's always seemed to me that when you believe that committing an act that will reserve you a special place in hell, the best course of action is not committing that act.

I feel like my laptop needs a struggle session to cleanse it of capitalist roader sentiment.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:22 PM on October 14, 2009


Every time he starts talking, I reflexively look for the teleprompter behind me that he is obviously reading from. Creepy and fake.

I'm sure that he's a nice gu...WAIT! WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?!
posted by double block and bleed at 3:30 PM on October 14, 2009


Courtesy of Randall Munroe.
posted by EarBucket at 3:31 PM on October 14, 2009 [7 favorites]


That's right -- the number "3." That's it. No graphics, no text, just a small "3" in the upper-left corner.

Looks like we have the makings of a Dan Brown mystery!


It's just a stupid ski resort.
posted by inigo2 at 4:06 PM on October 14, 2009 [2 favorites]


This calls for New England saying #27: What the fuckover, Rover?
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:08 PM on October 14, 2009


Worst. VirtuaGirl. Ever.
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:29 PM on October 14, 2009


"Republican Faces Needs Yours"?
posted by chinston at 7:03 PM on October 14, 2009


My wife, shown the GOP.com site and asked "What's it remind you of?"...

Communism.

It's the red flag with stars of the header. It feels very Soviet. And the stylistic drawings in the links provided toward the bottom of the page? Modern... but recalling the Soviet style in many ways.

Bizarro. Is it a prank by the design company they contracted for the site?
posted by five fresh fish at 7:11 PM on October 14, 2009


Obviously the Republicans have to widen the tent to recapture the majority. In the future, they won't just be the party of hate and fear, but of wackjobbery too!
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:49 PM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


i like how he pointed to "recent post" and was standing next to the link for the beautiful cervix project. Ha ha.
posted by djduckie at 7:49 PM on October 14, 2009


Honestly, I thought it came across a little Communist-themed. Which is deeply ironic.

Ironic, really? I always thought that the Communist hardliners of the Soviet era had more in common personality wise with Republicans than Liberals. From a purely ideological standpoint they are totally different, but it seems like the ones who most aggressively defend the status quo are usually the same type of personality no matter what the status quo happens to be.
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:53 PM on October 14, 2009


A fair assessment.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:24 PM on October 14, 2009


So, does this amazing thing require the latest version of Flash to be seen? 'Cause I'm not seeing anything other than the base websites. Can't upgrade past Flash 9, I'm afraid.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:55 AM on October 15, 2009


The Onion shoots, scores.
posted by exogenous at 10:35 AM on October 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Is this an attempt to make MetaFilter more inviting to conservatives? I hadn't realized the previous MeTa was so effective.
posted by cimbrog at 1:48 PM on October 15, 2009


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