Quonsmus Every Day!

December 11, 2009 5:21 PM

ZOMG! QUONSMUS!!!! ZOMG, THANK YOU!!!

I worked 12 hours, got barfed on (by a small child), and came home in tears. It was not the best day. AND THEN!!! In my mail room!!! SEKRIT QUONSAR!!!

Thank you sender of Saturn night lights from Birmingham, AL. You seriously rocked my world, and perhaps several other planets as well.

posted by grapefruitmoon to MetaFilter-Related at 5:21 PM (237 comments total)

awwww.
posted by shmegegge at 5:51 PM on December 11, 2009

The schmoopy's back.

... let me get the gun safe combo ...
posted by Askiba at 5:59 PM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

Wait, does that mean that the barf of a small child is an inappropriate gift for Quonsmus?

^{pardon me, I think I need to call UPS and stop delivery}
posted by Ghidorah at 6:02 PM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

What are Saturn night lights?
posted by TooFewShoes at 6:05 PM on December 11, 2009

It's a nightlight. With a picture of Saturn. I'll post a pic later.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:09 PM on December 11, 2009

Some of us don't celebrate Quonsmas.
posted by qvantamon at 6:11 PM on December 11, 2009

qvantamas?
posted by gman at 6:12 PM on December 11, 2009

Maybe it was for Quanukkah.
posted by Toekneesan at 6:13 PM on December 11, 2009 [5 favorites]

Remember kids if you're naughty Quonsar will put a fish down your pants.
posted by nola at 6:14 PM on December 11, 2009 [3 favorites]

Or Qwanzaa
posted by qvantamon at 6:15 PM on December 11, 2009 [2 favorites]

Remember kids if you're naughty Quonsar will put a fish down your pants.

Wait, I thought that's what happened when you were good.... You mean, I've been naughty all these years?! DAMNIT.

So, what DOES happen if you're good?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:19 PM on December 11, 2009

Only kid barf? Be glad you weren't forced to inhale pig brain mist at your job like those 24 dudes.
posted by Rhomboid at 6:30 PM on December 11, 2009

Why did I click on Rhomboid's link? Why?
posted by TooFewShoes at 6:36 PM on December 11, 2009

Sorry. Here's a chaser of 100% cuteness.
posted by Rhomboid at 6:43 PM on December 11, 2009 [7 favorites]

Pig brain mist and kiddie barf are my raison d'être.
posted by Schmoopy at 6:55 PM on December 11, 2009

So, what DOES happen if you're good?

Duh, you get a kickass Saturn night light.
posted by nola at 7:04 PM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

Didn't anyone ever tell you if you keep writing like that your keyboard will get stuck that way?

Sent my gift today!
posted by ODiV at 7:09 PM on December 11, 2009

Just got through The Whelk's mix CD. Not as distressing as I feared! Track impressions:

1. Dick Dale-esque vintage surfer rock
2. Sultry gypsy cooking serenade
3. Pirate/Alien/Dinosaur shanty
4. Synth cum renaissance-fair ode to sleep
5. Pop love song about a superpowered super-girl (REM meets Cardigans)
6. Mellow rock tribute to an old man (with eyepatch and meathook) who loves the sea
7. Another song about a sailor! (Fleetwood-Mac-y/pan-celtic/nu-jazz/shanty)
8. Nick Cave - Be Dazzled
9. Dirge about sailors!
10. Nina Simone! Pirate Jenny!
11. Showtune about a house by the sea. Three and a half minutes I won't get back. :(
12. Celtic post-punk (pogues?) about immigration (across an ocean!)
13. Ambient instrumental thingy
14. David Bowie!
15. Cheerful indie klezmer love song
16. Reggae/celtic thing?
17. Some sort of British pop
18. Rock-y and cautionary tale of the grisley fates awaiting sailors!
19. MC Frontalot - Final Boss (nerdcore!)
20. british pop, but more glammy
21. more brits!

I also got a little poop.

Who did #5 and #7? I dug those the most, baby. #7 seems so familiar...

And THANKS, The Whelk, that was delightful after an absolutely dreadful Friday.
posted by cowbellemoo at 7:16 PM on December 11, 2009

Thank you Rhomboid, it almost made it better.
posted by TooFewShoes at 7:47 PM on December 11, 2009

So, what DOES happen if you're good?

You also get a fish down your pants. He's not very original.
posted by Jahaza at 8:14 PM on December 11, 2009 [5 favorites]

Just got through The Whelk's mix CD. Not as distressing as I feared! Track impressions:

1. Dick Dale-esque vintage surfer rock
2. Sultry gypsy cooking serenade
3. Pirate/Alien/Dinosaur shanty
4. Synth cum renaissance-fair ode to sleep
5. Pop love song about a superpowered super-girl (REM meets Cardigans)
6. Mellow rock tribute to an old man (with eyepatch and meathook) who loves the sea
7. Another song about a sailor! (Fleetwood-Mac-y/pan-celtic/nu-jazz/shanty)
8. Nick Cave - Be Dazzled
9. Dirge about sailors!
10. Nina Simone! Pirate Jenny!
11. Showtune about a house by the sea. Three and a half minutes I won't get back. :(
12. Celtic post-punk (pogues?) about immigration (across an ocean!)
13. Ambient instrumental thingy
14. David Bowie!
15. Cheerful indie klezmer love song
16. Reggae/celtic thing?
17. Some sort of British pop
18. Rock-y and cautionary tale of the grisley fates awaiting sailors!
19. MC Frontalot - Final Boss (nerdcore!)
20. british pop, but more glammy
21. more brits!


Well met and welcome! you have been pre-selected to enjoy traditional Whelkian Folk Muisc! The coiled poo is merely a reward. Addiction come later. Come, let us explore the world of undersea romance. You wont be the same after! I promise...

1) Joker Is Wild - Sun Ra
2)Circus Fish - Vermilion
3) Bonebeard, The Dinosaur Pirate From Space - Logan Whitehurst
4) Mistaken Memories Of Medieval Manhattan- Momus
5) That's Really Super, Supergirl - XTC
6) I Love The Ocean - Logan Whitehurst
7) Rolling Sea - Eliza Carthy (from Rouge's Gallery, an awesome album)
8) You Know
9)Long Time Ago - White Magic (also from Rouge's Gallery)
10) YES
11) By The Sea - Sweeney Todd -Angela Landsbury
12)Thousands Are Sailing -The Pogues
13)Velvet Spacetime - Carter Burwell
14)YES
15)The Organ Donor's March -Vermilion Lies
16)Judy Teen - Cockney Rebel
17) Good Grief Christina - Chicory Tip
18) Horrible Thing Which Live In The Sea - Sailor Martin
19) YES
20) Ride A White Sawn - T. Rex
21) Bitter's End - Andy Mackay

you've gotten the bulk of the Whelkian underwater delights! Such delights are usually only for sailors! C'mon, fall into the bay. We've got mermaids.
posted by The Whelk at 8:40 PM on December 11, 2009 [2 favorites]

2) Vermillion Lies*
posted by The Whelk at 8:42 PM on December 11, 2009

Was it from bitteroldpunk?
posted by special-k at 1:33 AM on December 12, 2009

nola: "Remember kids if you're naughty Quonsar will put a fish down your pants."

I am certainly naughty Quonsar, but Will did not put a fish down my pants. I demand it!
posted by brundlefly at 2:37 AM on December 12, 2009

My secret quonsar shall not be inspired to such heights of exuberance, but I hope they like the gift anyway. I did insert a h00py driving mix 2 cd pack as well, just in case my other gift was not enough

Yeah, that was me, you lucky bugger in the future you!
posted by h00py at 3:41 AM on December 12, 2009

I spent days debating over whether or not to get my secret person a snuggie, judging by their hints, before realizing it was over the spending limit. D'oh.
posted by biochemist at 3:55 AM on December 12, 2009

I sort of had to ignore the spending limit, since Elfster matched me up with someone in Bloody Olde England, and with the exchange rates, about all I could have sent was a pack of gum.

As it was, I couldn't send what my Quonsee apparently wanted because stores here wouldn't ship there: I ended up spending $30 or so (from the Euro branch of a US store) because of the exchange rate on a gift that would have been $15 had I been able to send it from the states.

Elfster is annoying. I still have no idea who my Quonsee was, since they put their real name into elfster, and I have no way to map it back to a Mefite- which would have been a huge help.
posted by pjern at 8:16 AM on December 12, 2009

I received part of my gift a week ago, but held off on writing out a thank you until the rest arrived. So now I can safely give a huge THANK YOU to gursky! The glass gave me a good chuckle and I look forward to proudly displaying it on my desk at work. And I'm very excited to listen to the CD (it literally just came in the mail), judging from the track listing it is the most awesome Christmas music mix ever. Thank you again, and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season as well :o)
posted by LolaGeek at 8:20 AM on December 12, 2009

I got my gift in the mail from Diagonalize a few days ago. Thanks for the mixtape memory stick, it's perfect! Now I just have to figure out who's going to get 128 MB of drone and Japanese noise music.
posted by burnmp3s at 9:41 AM on December 12, 2009

you're welcome, LolaGeek!
i'm glad both things arrived quickly. hope you like the CD!
posted by gursky at 10:02 AM on December 12, 2009

Secret Quonsar came to my door this morning!!! Thanks MaritaCov for a box of Michigan goodness! Loved the Mefi themed felt 6 pack holder! The Quonsmas ornament was a great touch too.Thanks so much, you made my day!
posted by white_devil at 12:12 PM on December 12, 2009

It's BLUE!
posted by The Whelk at 12:18 PM on December 12, 2009

*Barely paying attention because thinking about next moves in awesome Dragon Age PS3 game from awesome SQ*

Thanks again, fabulous Secret Quonsar.

Also, this unicorn posting button rocks.
posted by bearwife at 12:40 PM on December 12, 2009

If the Bob Knight autographed letter I got today is from my Secret Quonsar - thank you so much! Very cool!
posted by SisterHavana at 1:59 PM on December 12, 2009

My Quonsee, fixedbike told me that my gift is sitting under his tree. I'm so impatient to find out if he liked it or not!!!

(also, hooray for unicorns!)
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 2:02 PM on December 12, 2009

since they put their real name into elfster, and I have no way to map it back to a Mefite

You could always leave them an anonymous question asking for their username. Elfster sends a bugging email saying the question is there so they should see it. Too late for pjern I know, but I thought I'd mention it in case someone else had the same problem.

My quonsee actually did the same thing plus I was posting internationally (so had to put a full return address) so I just did the same thing back - added my full real name but not username. I don't know if there are many mefite-secret schmoopy-Shelleys participating from New Zealand though so it's probably pretty obvious.

The gift I got actually cost NZ$15 by a bit of a fluke, and after packaging and postage it ended up being within about 20 cents of US$15 so I figured that was OK.
posted by shelleycat at 2:06 PM on December 12, 2009

I mailed my quonsee's gift this morning! I really hope they like it. I didn't include my name.

As for whatever seekrit gift I may or may not receive, I will continue to wait patiently in the fish patch. I will probably love whatever it is.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:22 PM on December 12, 2009

Thanks Secret Quonsar! I got a tl;dr tshirt! Much better than a fish in the pants.
posted by mollymayhem at 4:26 PM on December 12, 2009

You have an entire room devoted to mail?
posted by graventy at 5:12 PM on December 12, 2009

O. M. G.

Dersins sent me the most charming letter and a SIGNED! PERSONALIZED! COPY! of "Further Grickle". I've been a Grickle fan since forever and NO I do not allready have it.

OMGTHANKYOU.

Go Secret Quonsnar Go!
posted by The Whelk at 5:13 PM on December 12, 2009

What's $15 in Euros? I NEEDS TO KNOW. And is this including shipping?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:31 PM on December 12, 2009

awesome Dragon Age PS3 game

Oh man. 'moonMan got that and was playing it and it looked SO FREAKING AWESOME and with minimal amounts of flashing light, so I tried to play it. G-DDAMN PHOTOSENSITIVITY. I haven't been that motion sick since I went on an Icelandic Whale Watching expedition.

EFF YOU ALL AWESOME VIDEO GAMES.

Now would someone please program a game where you just stand really still and be awesome. Thnx.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:34 PM on December 12, 2009 [4 favorites]

You have an entire room devoted to mail?

Uh, my apartment building does. Where the mailboxes are. The USPS is not kind enough to kiss it and leave it at my feet.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:35 PM on December 12, 2009

I'm still wondering who sent me the damned cupcake-shaped bouquet to my work, addressed to my username and with a card reading ony 'FROM THE INTERNET.'

Fess up you fuckers.
posted by jonmc at 7:02 PM on December 12, 2009 [5 favorites]

Thank you secret quonsar! I received perhaps the best collection of things-I-have-considered-picking-up-but-decided-not-to. Hand warmers! A stuff sack! A little toggley-LED light so I don't stumble around my tent anymore! Cider! A good map! GU! et. al.

Such a happy season.
posted by craven_morhead at 7:30 PM on December 12, 2009

jonmc
posted by The Whelk at 7:40 PM on December 12, 2009

Can't wait until my quonsee (yes, I did just make up that word) gets their gift to see what they think. Post office says it was delivered today!
posted by misha at 7:43 PM on December 12, 2009

I'm not saying anything, I'm just having fun imagining Jonmc in a pastiche musical number cause I am drinking Nob Creek and it amused me
posted by The Whelk at 7:45 PM on December 12, 2009

Oops! The Bob Knight letter was from my other Secret Santa exchange. (It was still really cool though!)
posted by SisterHavana at 8:00 PM on December 12, 2009

That blue ornament is awesome. We need some for the Mefi Shop!!!
posted by LN at 8:59 PM on December 12, 2009

Happy Quonsar craven_morhead. It was a close-run thing between those and the Cohen.

:)
posted by faineant at 9:39 PM on December 12, 2009

Ok. stupid question: were we supposed to include mix CDs along with the other secret quonsar gift? I'm not sure how I missed this.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 10:57 PM on December 12, 2009

Thanks ukdanae for the awesome cookie cutters in the shape of a donkey, elephant and map of the United States!

Now I need to go get some red and blue frosting.
posted by Vectorcon Systems at 1:42 AM on December 13, 2009

cause I am drinking Nob Creek

No, no! Knob Creek! And if you like that, a smashing small batch bourbon, you may want to sip some Basil Hayden's or Woodford Reserve one of these days.

Sorry, get all upset when my favorite sippin' whiskeys aren't spelled exactly right. What if you went to the store and couldn't find it 'cuz of the Nob/Knob thing? Phew, glad I saved you from that dreadful fate.
posted by bearwife at 2:09 AM on December 13, 2009

If only I had a penguin: i don't think that was a stipulation or rule. i sent my SQ a CD because i had spent the $15 budget on something that shipped directly from an online store, and i wanted to send something personalized too. but CDs weren't discussed before the exchange, i don't think...
posted by gursky at 5:44 AM on December 13, 2009

Ok, my Quonsmus present came sometime while I was out of town - anonymously, unless someone's a tentacle-themed potter here - and it is the sweetest little bowl with a tentacle snaking out from it. It is nestled among the other octopuses and squids on the display shelf. Thank you mystery cephalopodmas giver!
posted by cobaltnine at 6:18 AM on December 13, 2009

The mix cd exchange is a separate deal. Feel free to include 'em though.
posted by craven_morhead at 8:39 AM on December 13, 2009

*Barely paying attention because thinking about next moves in awesome Dragon Age PS3 game from awesome SQ*
posted by bearwife

Glad you liked it! Watch out for gay elf sex, it can happen to anyone.
posted by shothotbot at 3:40 PM on December 13, 2009 [1 favorite]

Vectorcon Systems, I am so glad you liked them! I totally geeked out when i saw them and hoped you would too :). Happy Quonsmus!
posted by ukdanae at 4:19 PM on December 13, 2009

OMG, thank you secret Quonsar. Had a seriously terrible day made so much better by the arrival of a board game I've wanted to play.
posted by Gucky at 6:36 PM on December 13, 2009

I just sent out my gift to my secret quonsar, but they're in London and I fear customs may ruin the surprise of the gift. Anyway, London Quonsar, your gift is on it's way.
posted by piratebowling at 8:33 AM on December 14, 2009

So I got three great things on the 9th and then another present later in the week. It was a beautiful wooden kaleidoscope! I've brought it to work so I can look at it when I need a happy break.

Thanks again Secret Quonsar!
posted by Kimberly at 8:37 AM on December 14, 2009

The tracking info says my SQ's present has arrived...I hope they actually did receive it!
posted by d13t_p3ps1 at 9:40 AM on December 14, 2009

Just commenting in a thread, for Recent Activity purposes. Until my quonsee shows up (or my present, whichever comes first!)
posted by iamkimiam at 12:00 PM on December 14, 2009

I am now singing along HORRIBLY to Dr. Horrible. How did they know? I have watched it on the internet and borrowed the DVD from friends, but had no Dr. to call my own. Now I can watch it whenever I want!
posted by sandraregina at 1:37 PM on December 14, 2009

Thank you, secret quonsar, whose metafilter name I sadly do not know. I love the tomato knife and the bruschetta cookbook. I have wanted a tomato knife for quite some time, and bruschetta is one of my favorite snacks -- I practically grew up on the tomato/garlic/mozzarella version. I'm very excited to try some of the other ones in the book, like olive and anchovy (yum) and goat cheese and red pepper.
Thanks!!

(I hope my quonsee enjoys theirs... it's on the way.)
posted by k8lin at 2:13 PM on December 14, 2009

Yay! I received my package today and actually laughed out loud when I opened it. So perfect.

(And seriously, you couldn't have had better timing. Today definitely required William Hartnell's face on socks.)
posted by divka at 2:48 PM on December 14, 2009

Quonsee o'mine, your gift is assembled, your name and address post-it-noted to the top of the stack, and I will take it to the P.O. tomorrow morning so it can begin its trip across the country. It should be there by your birthday...
posted by Sublimity at 3:08 PM on December 14, 2009

You're welcome, k8lin! I'm glad you liked it. And see? It was just as the package read: spiderfree. See how nice I am?

Whilst I was stalking you to get ideas, I read in an answer to an AskMe question that you'd dined in my neighborhood recently. The best bruschetta I've had in the city is just a few blocks away from there, at minibar. I don't know if you get here often, but I highly recommend it for booze/snacks/adorablyperfectqueer-watching.
posted by heyho at 3:20 PM on December 14, 2009

I already gave a shoutout to my secret quonsar for the first half of the gift, but the second half arrived today. -- So now I own a panther AND all of the Michigan bike trails. Mysterious person, you're the best!
posted by oldtimey at 4:36 PM on December 14, 2009

Thank you to sweetmarie!! She lived up to her name and sent the most wonderful present! Not only did it have a lucky elephant in it, it had an awesome collapsible shopping bag, gelt, a dreidel and drink markers of awesome. It was the perfect thing to come today.

The wrapping was excellent as well. Thank you for the awesomeness!
posted by stoneweaver at 5:27 PM on December 14, 2009

My quonsee's gift is ordered and has been shipped! It should arrive at its destination in the next few days!
posted by SisterHavana at 5:28 PM on December 14, 2009

I checked Canada Post and my sescret quonsar's gift has crossed the border and on the way. Fingers crossed that they like it.
posted by googlebombed at 5:42 PM on December 14, 2009

jonmc: I'm still wondering who sent me the damned cupcake-shaped bouquet to my work, addressed to my username and with a card reading ony 'FROM THE INTERNET.'

Pics, or it didn't happen.
posted by arnicae at 5:52 PM on December 14, 2009

Damn, I'm an asshole. I received a package today...opened it and was sooo excited to receive two cool books from "Cheryl." I then spent the last 20 minutes looking up Cheryl's on Metafilter and Elfster. Until I realized that my neighbor's name is also Cheryl, and that I accidentally received her mail...and opened it. I just put the books back and returned them to Cheryl, with a really ridiculous nonsensical explanation about a gift exchange with strangers on the internet.
posted by iamkimiam at 7:34 PM on December 14, 2009 [7 favorites]

We'll vouch for you.
posted by shothotbot at 7:58 PM on December 14, 2009

The tracking info says my SQ's present has arrived...I hope they actually did receive it!

I did, I did! Thank you, d13t_p3ps1!

I said in my Elfster wish list that I like "useful things." d13t_p3ps1 did a bang-up job of choosing useful things for me. I got a keychain LED flashlight with an on-board multi-tool with screwdrivers, wire strippers, pliers . . . it is about 17 "useful things" in one. PLUS, I also got a set of three little pocket-sized Moleskine journals. They're handsome; I've heard a lot about Moleskines, but have never used one myself. I already have a pretty good idea what I'm going to use these for.
posted by Orinda at 10:59 PM on December 14, 2009

Mine has been mailed, without ID (I like the whole secrecy thing; besides, it's not like it would be tough to figure out from the return address) - and I would just like to point out that it was mailed about 12 hours before the absolute deadline, which all of my employers, past, present and future would be happy to tell you is a complete holiday miracle right there. Yay quonsmas!
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:52 AM on December 15, 2009

I completely underestimated the amount of stress involved in coming up with a $15.00 gift for a total stranger. It’s times like these I wish I made homemade crafts or mix CDs or something.
posted by bondcliff at 8:05 AM on December 15, 2009

My gift went out the other day, anonymously. Also, internationally. Might be a while.
posted by craven_morhead at 8:36 AM on December 15, 2009

I completely underestimated the amount of stress involved in coming up with a $15.00 gift for a total stranger. It’s times like these I wish I made homemade crafts or mix CDs or something.
posted by bondcliff at 8:05 AM on December 15 [+] [!]

I could not agree more. I dithered and dithered until yesterday, when I finally picked something and had it shipped off. I'm hoping it doesn't suck, and just in case it does, it went anonymously. If my giftee likes it after all, perhaps I will reveal myself. Oh, the stress!
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 9:58 AM on December 15, 2009

I want a hippopotamus for Quonsmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

Actually, I don't care what I get. I just hope it's awesome!

I am basically camped out at the mail table waiting for mine.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:44 AM on December 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

My gift has arrived, and it's beautiful. Thank you anonymous Secret Quonsar.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 11:31 AM on December 15, 2009

is it




.....a penguin?
posted by The Whelk at 11:54 AM on December 15, 2009 [3 favorites]

i want a hippopotamus for Quonsmas,
i don't think Quonsar will mind, do you?
posted by gursky at 12:12 PM on December 15, 2009

Ohmigosh thank you magicbus!!!!!! She got me a Sanrio Kuromi bento box, some adorable fuzzy animal stickers, a little sushi eraser and a little bunny eraser that looks just like Ruby from Max and Ruby (okay so I'm a closet Max and Ruby fan!), and and and some Inanimate stickers from Fred so I can feel just like Bob Ross and have a happy little stapler, or mug, or whatever I put them on! Squee!! Thank you thank you thank you!!! You are good at this!
posted by IndigoRain at 12:20 PM on December 15, 2009

I have sent things. I have received things.

Shoe box in the mail with incredibly appropriate pad and nice coloured pencils. Yay. Thank you mysterious stranger.
posted by sciencegeek at 2:39 PM on December 15, 2009

My gift is going out late - but I have a GOOD EXCUSE. I can not buy it in this country! I already informed my quonsee, who might therefore deduce who is giving said gift, but whatevs. It's definitely gonna be late, but I hope it will also be at least somewhat worth it. Maybe.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:54 PM on December 15, 2009

I am totally kicking myself for not getting Delivery Confirmation now...
posted by JoanArkham at 3:01 PM on December 15, 2009

Oh, wow, my SQ recipient, even though they aren't a Mefite anymore, left me a really really nice message on Elfster:

This isn't a question... but I don't know how to contact you otherwise! My gift is really amazing -- music, a memento, and an eminently useful item all at once! Just -- clap, clap, clap. You win Secret Quonsar. *Your* SQ, if he/she only knew it, has a tough act to follow. Hear that, Misha's SQ?*

That's super-classy, taking the effort to do that! And yay! Liked the gift!

*I sent a flash drive with "Merry Christmas from your Secret Quonsar" personalization and some Christmas songs I like on it, with a few little pouches of bacon salt for packing material.
posted by misha at 4:46 PM on December 15, 2009

It is not a penguin, and I rejoice.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:53 PM on December 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

I got my Secret Quonsar package today! Go Banana got me some excellent and much needed kitchen goodies that will be put to good use! Thank you!

As for my secret quonsar, the package is en route. Lucky for me it's staying within the USA this time around so it shouldn't be too much longer.
posted by Zaximus at 5:18 PM on December 15, 2009

Quonsar has come for me and my doggies! 1f2frfbf and his pup Ilsa sent us some dog noms, stickers and pins, a snuggly scarf and a gorgeous handmade mug. Thank you from all of us at the Shotglass house!
posted by mrsshotglass at 7:44 PM on December 15, 2009

I sent my quonsee's (favourite neologism of today, btw) gift Monday, internationally and indeed anonymously -- unless you count the moniker THE INTERNET as ID.

I really hope they like it.
posted by the cat's pyjamas at 7:33 AM on December 16, 2009

My qounsee's gift should be delivered tomorrow if I want to believe the assurances given by the USPS but I find it really difficult to believe that the US Post can deliver a box from California to Austrailia in less time than it takes them to deliver a hard drive from NY to CA.
posted by jamaro at 9:18 AM on December 16, 2009

omg I got the most awesome BOX! It is a Mi Cubano tobacco box made out of wood, and I can keep my secret stuff in it.

And inside it has CHOCOLATE, both shaped like a ballerina and in fudge-sauce form! And there's a mix CD, and a wee little dried flower, and a "Music Saves" button, and a sticker identifying me as an official Junior Police Officer for the Cleveland Police Department... how did you KNOW????

sciurus, was that you, you old so-and-so?
posted by Madamina at 12:43 PM on December 16, 2009

JoanArkham: I am totally kicking myself for not getting Delivery Confirmation now...

No worries, your wonderful package arrived this afternoon! How you managed to find the perfect giftie (an artbox for treasures!) based on my meager posting history, I'll never know, but I am delighted that you did. Thank you so very much, it definitely made my day. Merry Quansmas to you too!
posted by faineant at 2:58 PM on December 16, 2009

I sent my gift to my quonsee one day late, on the 15th. I am so ashamed and sorry, but I hope said quonsee receives and enjoys it nevertheless.
posted by jeoc at 3:32 PM on December 16, 2009

My gift will be winging its way to Italy first thing tomorrow morning. I would have sent it off earlier, but the flu has knocked me out this week. If it won't make it for Christmas at least it'll be there for "Felice Anno Nuovo!"
posted by annaramma at 4:39 PM on December 16, 2009

Thanks so much, my mysterious Secret Quonsar from Memphis, TN! The package came today, and the delightful and useful "I Am Not a Paper Cup" arrived intact, and I've already been enjoying your delicious lemon cookies and AskMe-endorsed sour candies (and I love the penguin tin they were in, too). I am a very lucky Quonsee indeed.
posted by carrienation at 5:06 PM on December 16, 2009

Oooh!! My secret gift is all about keeping me toasty: a ceramic mug with it's own tea steeper thingie and a lid (I always let my tea sit too long and it gets cold) AND a badass looking tin of gunpowder tea AND the cutest hat ever. I actually shouted that aloud to the empty house: "Oh my god the CUTEST HAT EVER!!"
Thank you so much to my awesome secret quonsar Gemmy!!
posted by 8dot3 at 5:19 PM on December 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

I got my present! Yay! Thank you rmless for the lovely ring!
posted by thejanna at 5:43 PM on December 16, 2009

My quonsee is scheduled to receive their gift tomorrow!
posted by SisterHavana at 7:45 PM on December 16, 2009

I find it really difficult to believe that the US Post can deliver a box from California to Austrailia in less time than it takes them to deliver a hard drive from NY to CA

I sent my sister's Christmas present from NZ to Scotland the day before the international cutoff. It took 3 or 4 day to get round to emailing her to say it's coming and it arrived the same day as my email, without paying for really fast post or anything fancy. None of that involved the UPSP but it does show that long distance postage can be really fast if you hit it at the right time.
posted by shelleycat at 10:35 PM on December 16, 2009

Omigawd Secret Quonsar, you're the best!!!

I got a map of Greece!!!!!!!!!!
posted by greekphilosophy at 11:34 PM on December 16, 2009

Wow, compared to all these gifts mine is totally uncreative! Here's hoping my secret Quonsar likes it!
posted by biochemist at 9:21 AM on December 17, 2009

I got a blender!
It's small and smoothie-sized and has a travel lid so you can just drink straight from the jar. I foresee many smoothies in my future. Thanks whoever you are! (I have your name but not your username).
posted by PercussivePaul at 11:57 AM on December 17, 2009

Yay, thank you reenum for a terrific and ever so slightly disturbing gift. There's nothing quite like thinking "hmm, I quite like the tiling in that bathroom" and discovering it belonged to Nicolae Ceauşescu.

Sincerely, it brightened up my day something awful when I saw I had a parcel this afternoon. I love it when this stuff works. Thank you!
posted by the cat's pyjamas at 12:07 PM on December 17, 2009

I'd like to thank Ms. Twelves in Oakland, CA for the great and perfect gift. It fits perfectly into my collection. Right now, my Mulder/Scully figures are holding it and they look happier than they have in years.
posted by loosemouth at 3:34 PM on December 17, 2009

Thanks SO much, oh mysterious Quonsar... for the yummy looking little pot of MN strawberry rhubarb jam, the hilarious comic book *ouch* bandaids, and the most-excellent CD of Beatles covers by MN bands! I know what I'll be listening to later this evening...

I *heart* Quonsars, and MeFites in general!!!!
posted by hippybear at 4:30 PM on December 17, 2009

Oh, man, thanks so much, Secret Quonsar (aka jeoc)! I had never seen its like before, but the forty-year calendar super-thingy is useful, pretty, and wonderfully weird! A perfect item to emerge from the murky depths of the Internet!
posted by Diagonalize at 5:43 PM on December 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Your stuff all sounds nice and all, but thejanna tooootally wins at Christmas. I scored an awesome Vosges chocolate sampler today and am presently beyond giddy from the bounty of fabulous exotica that awaits. I will savor every bite. Thank you, thejanna!
posted by mochapickle at 8:10 PM on December 17, 2009

Oh and seven cheers to IndigoRain for organizing!
posted by mochapickle at 8:12 PM on December 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I have successfully quonsed, gang! My quonsee got hold of me today to let me know the package got there.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 8:23 PM on December 17, 2009

I got my Quonsmas package this morning! Thank you vespabelle for sending a super rad variety pack with embroidered napkins, a bento set, a personalized bag (handmade I think?) that will now hold my sock-knitting projects, and a bunch of awesome hot yoga poop stickers that prompted me to google various synonyms for poop this morning. And a Christmas postcard with mudkips!

Unfortunately some assbutt STOLE AND OPENED the package from our porch, and if there was anything else they may have run off with it, but fortunately they didn't want poop stickers or awesome bags. I hope Quonsar delivers fishy vengeance in the thief's stocking.
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:32 AM on December 18, 2009

awesome hot yoga poop stickers

I know what those individual words mean, yet I have no idea how to contextualize that phrase...

I have yet to be Quansed, but am so happy to have successfully Quansed someone else I don't mind at all! This is the schmoopiest thread ever!
posted by JoanArkham at 8:36 AM on December 18, 2009

yay!

Metroid Baby, I'm glad you got your present in time and find it useful and fun.
posted by vespabelle at 9:14 AM on December 18, 2009

awesome hot yoga poop stickers

I know what those individual words mean, yet I have no idea how to contextualize that phrase...


Like this maybe?
posted by shothotbot at 10:59 AM on December 18, 2009

I checked Canada Post and my sescret quonsar's gift has crossed the border and on the way. Fingers crossed that they like it.

Liked it? I LOVED it. Them. The awesome googlebombed sent me two fabulous goblets with Napoleonic pressed bees on them. Oh, the sheer quonsicity of it all has made me very jolly.
posted by julen at 11:07 AM on December 18, 2009

I got mystery-quonsed this morning! My secret quonsar gifted me a beautiful handcrafted butter-keeper with a little cat atop it. It's beautiful and very useful -- I just love it. So happy! Just now, while I'm typing this, my own kitty zipped by me with a packing peanut stuck to her side. Hah! I love when that happens. Step forward and accept a most heartfelt thank-you, Miss Florida. You made my week!
posted by heyho at 11:24 AM on December 18, 2009

I sent my SQ gift out late ((sorry))... but it went out and now I just need to focus on getting presents for everyone else on my list.

Gah.
posted by Julnyes at 12:26 PM on December 18, 2009

My gift came today. It all makes me feel... how to put it? Alternately geologic, prehistoric, hungry, and dangerously feminine. Or femininely dangerous. It is amazing.

To whom it may concern: My Quonsar Elf rocks.

Thank you so much!
posted by ramenopres at 5:12 PM on December 18, 2009

Yay! Heyho, that was from me, and I'm actually not Miss Florida but Miss Just-Outside-Chicago. The etsy seller agreed to keep my secret! I am so glad you like the butter keeper!

*schmoooop!* I love Secret Quonsar time.
posted by sugarfish at 9:49 PM on December 18, 2009

Ok, I got some really cute stickers and a COIN WITH A PLATYPUS ON IT, but I left my present at home and I'm currently visiting grandparents in another state, so I don't remember the username of my wonderful quonsar. I was going to wait until I got home to properly thank him/her, but I figure I should post already to let them know I received it! Hooray!
posted by dreamyshade at 11:42 PM on December 18, 2009

Elfster just emailed me with a reminder to thank my secret quonsar, but I haven't yet been quonsed. :(
posted by ocherdraco at 8:29 AM on December 19, 2009

Have you been camped out at the mail table for 4 days now?
posted by gman at 9:25 AM on December 19, 2009

I am still watching my mailbox, but I believe--I believe! I believe in the power of Quonsmas! And even if my Quonsar dropped the ball--well, I hope we all have a perspicacious and mellifluous Quonsmas, each and every one.

I will also shout out to my sweet and kindly Quonsee dersins, who is no longer secret since my gift arrived (and who is currently not active on MeFi). Glad you liked the sea-themed gifts. Metafilter from coast to coast, baby!
posted by Sublimity at 10:52 AM on December 19, 2009

I got a cryptic but reassuring note from my own Quonsar, and wait with great anticipation! Alas I do not know the mefi name of my Quonsee and hope that her gift arrived.
posted by Lou Stuells at 11:10 AM on December 19, 2009

Have you been camped out at the mail table for 4 days now? (gman)

Pretty much, yeah. (It was a slow week at the office.)
posted by ocherdraco at 12:04 PM on December 19, 2009

Wow! Thanks so much to my Secret Quonsar! That Little People in the City book is from one of my favorite artists!!! How did you know?!
posted by sleeping bear at 3:15 PM on December 19, 2009

A package arrived at our door yesterday morning.

Husband: There's something in the mail for you - from "Philosophy?"
Me: That's odd, don't think I ordered anything from - HAY WAIT A MINUTE!!!11

*cheerful mauling of parcel discloses a "recipe box" filled with lovely shower gels, and three "recipes" for well-balanced living, one of which is pancake-based OM NOM NOM*

Husband: Well, if you didn't order it, who is it from?
Me: Lo! It is from the Internets!

Sekrit Quonsar, you are divine (but really, what else could one expect of a Seattleite?). Thank you so very much!
posted by arachnid at 8:13 AM on December 20, 2009

Metafilter: Lo! It is from the Internets!
posted by The Whelk at 8:20 AM on December 20, 2009

Yay! I got my secret quonsmas present yesterday in the middle of record snowfall and it brightened my day - even though my relatives have no power and have all been camped out here. That is some serious brightening and I love my business card holder and beautiful blank book! I have started a cooking journal that is not going to be online; I feel awesomely post post post modern.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:27 AM on December 20, 2009

Good news everyone! My secret quonsar has thoughtfully let me know that my present is en route so that I may disengage myself from the mail table. It is coming from the UK! I am very excited.
posted by ocherdraco at 8:54 AM on December 20, 2009

Wow, thank you angiep! I got a beautiful edition of Great Expectations and the cutest, tiniest little squishy silicon bowls for cooking with!
posted by exceptinsects at 9:25 AM on December 20, 2009

Someone read up and I got a gift related to something I like. I came home from a trip, and it was waiting. Thank you anonymous Seekrit Quonsar! I like it a lot!

I actually got my Seekrit Q gift out in time for Quonsmas, probably. I hope my Quonsee likes it; I didn't anonymize.
posted by theora55 at 12:54 PM on December 20, 2009

Oh, Seekrit Quonsar, thank you for the lovely Canadian magazine and candies - what a treat for me, which I am NOT GOING TO SHARE AT ALL with my candy-hound family! The whole thing is being stashed for the next time I get an hour of no crazy in my house - or when I've had enough of everyone and lock myself away for a hot bath and some sanity. I know I didn't give you much to go on, and I'm a newbie and all, but it really was a delightful package to open yesterday!

And since you liked it, I'll take credit, so arachnid, you're welcome.
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 1:10 PM on December 20, 2009

Exceptinsects, so glad you liked the gifts! Merry Quonsmas to all!!
posted by angiep at 3:05 PM on December 20, 2009

...but you did say you had a kid, which is why you got a little Mistigri game. ("What could a parent of a young child use, that couldn't be bought in the US? Hmm...") Happy Quonsmus, Lulu's Pink!
posted by kmennie at 5:48 PM on December 20, 2009

i got the xkcd height poster! HOLY CRAP IT'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!
posted by cmchap at 8:13 AM on December 21, 2009 [1 favorite]

Woo Hoo my SQ gift came in the mail today from our friends to the North - CANADA!.

Initially, I was a little saddened when I unwrapped it to see that it was a box of lime-coconut cookies due to my hatred of all things coconutty. I was prepared to hand off the cookies to my co-workers when I saw that the box was open. I happily discovered my real gift was really fantastic packets of roasted soybeans - one maple flavored and the other chocolate coated.

I will still share with my co-workers, but the bulk of these yummy treats are going home with me.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE THEM.
posted by Julnyes at 9:24 AM on December 21, 2009

Was it from bitteroldpunk?

Just for the record: nope, t'weren't me. I didn't participate this year. But Joyous Quonsmas to all!
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:40 AM on December 21, 2009

THANK YOU PERSON IN CONNECTICUT!

I got an awesome poster. Finally, something to go on my barren walls. In fact, I'll document the improvement this gift has brought with crappy camera phone pictures. Here's the before, an utterly empty sad wall. I'll post an after once I find somebody with some doubled sided tape.

The establishment won't let me use tacks. =(
posted by floam at 10:44 AM on December 21, 2009

...but you did say you had a kid, which is why you got a little Mistigri game. ("What could a parent of a young child use, that couldn't be bought in the US? Hmm...") Happy Quonsmus, Lulu's Pink!
posted by kmennie at 5:48 PM on December 20 [+] [!]

I do! And that game may mean the difference between a decent afternoon of winter break and one where she spends most of the time in her room because she is being a butt. So extra thanks for that!
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 10:55 AM on December 21, 2009

GreekPhilosophy searched my askme history and sent me the most thoughtful, sweetest gift ever!! I picked it up on my lunch break and am happily chomping away at my desk - thank you so, so much!
posted by bahama mama at 11:23 AM on December 21, 2009

A big shout out to my secret Quonsar for my great present, which arrived today (just as you had anonymously reassured me). The game looks like a lot of fun, and I am eager to try that Earl Grey Chocolate--for now I'm holding off, so I don't have to share with my kids.

So delightful to find a present at the mailbox, from beautiful Canada no less. What a nice solstice treat! Thanks again, Quonsar!
posted by Sublimity at 12:42 PM on December 21, 2009

I got my Quonsar gift today!!! Thank you Secret Quonsar for the stapler free stapler kitty! It's cute -and- environmentally friendly! And the perfect gift for a college student. :D

P.S., reveal yourself please? ;_;
posted by biochemist at 12:53 PM on December 21, 2009

I guess when you (re?)gift lame corporate self-help books it's standard not to sign your name? ...Thanks?
posted by phunniemee at 2:48 PM on December 21, 2009

Huzzah! Today I found on my porch a box with jars of body cream in a bunch of different nice smells. Thank you, Secret Quonsar! My hands get so dry in the Chicago weather -- these are so perfect! They're exactly the right size to drop in my purse. :D

Thanks again! And reveal yourself!
posted by sugarfish at 4:48 PM on December 21, 2009

I was Quonsared today! (I sent a message to my Quonsaree telling them I would be late mailing and it's going internationally, so I hope it doesn't take too long. It's homemade though!)

I love my book on Shaker furniture (which is gorgeous and I am lusting after a bunch of it) and a few stamps. :D Thank you Kinbote!
posted by sperose at 5:29 PM on December 21, 2009

OMG QUONSMAS

phunniemee is a fucking rockstar Secret Quonsar and came up with this fantastic tote bag for my fiber projects, complete with hand-painted image of my comics-geek behatted self fighting off the Yarn Monster.

That is the hell awesome, y'all, and she wins Quonsmas. So much love. Squee!
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 5:40 PM on December 21, 2009 [2 favorites]

(re?)gift lame corporate self-help books

!

Poor phunniemee! Wow. I haven't got mine yet, and it hadn't even occurred to me that it might be lame. Up until right now I'd thought "Mefite = cool present!"
posted by kmennie at 5:42 PM on December 21, 2009

Glad you like it, fairytale! I had a really good time stalking you and making it. =)
posted by phunniemee at 5:53 PM on December 21, 2009

Kmennie, seriously! I looked upthread hoping that she'd gotten something as awesome-sauce-cool as she'd given me, and now I'm all "Well, what the fuck with that."

She may rest assured that all my buddies are having the pic of my completely awesome bag waved in their faces right now and her praises appropriately sung, from my pals in New Jersey and Tucson to my friends and old coworkers at Disney and Sony.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 5:55 PM on December 21, 2009

I just got home from working long hours selling Christmas booze, and there was a package! Thank you so much mysterious female(?) from somewhere in Southern California! I got an awesome hand-painted box, a mix-cd and flying wish papers. How did you know I enjoy burning things? Now I feel bad I didn't hand-make anything for my secret quonsar.
posted by lizjohn at 6:28 PM on December 21, 2009

I'm so out of the know of what this is about.
posted by stormpooper at 12:54 PM on December 22, 2009

I just got my secret quonsar loot box, from mustard seeds, and it was fantastic! They sent me the flu (a plushie giant microbe), safety goggles, and a mini notebook, all of which are awesome. Mrs. maxwelton co-opted "the flu" for her collection, but I was able to escape with the notebook and goggles.

Many, many thanks! Happy Quonsmus!
posted by maxwelton at 5:06 PM on December 22, 2009

Hey Diagonalize! Glad you like it. Happy Quonsmus!


Still waiting on my gift, but my quonsmus spirit is strong and I have not given up hope.
posted by jeoc at 5:20 PM on December 22, 2009

Hmmm. I've been guiltily staying away from this thread until today because I wasn't able to get my Quonsee's present in the mail until yesterday. Did you include a Lush wishlist in your Elfster profile? If so, watch out-- your present (may) be on its way! (Note: I am *NOT* implying you're getting Lush products... just using this as a teaser for those still waiting!)

Also, I feel strangely comforted by the fact that the gift from my secret quonsar has not yet arrived. ;) Procrastinators of the world, unite?
posted by samthemander at 8:42 PM on December 22, 2009

I am sad and worried because I have heard NOTHING from my Quonsee, neither through the anonymous Elfster "please say thank you" service, nor through this thread, nor through my MeMail. I'm worried I misaddressed the package or that someone stole it, and I feel uneasy about all that. I hope my Quonsee will get in touch, even if s/he hated my package!
posted by hippybear at 12:02 AM on December 23, 2009

Woot! I got mine, thanks! The most perfect thing about the NeoCube is that it causes me endless play, but necessitates that I do it nowhere near a computer. (goes back to couch and cube now)
posted by iamkimiam at 8:43 AM on December 23, 2009

This is what I got for Quonsmas.

And this is the letter that was in the mysterious box:

Dear Otter E. Roticist-

I am pleased to say it did not take me long to decide what to do for your Quonsmas present. While skimming through your posting history, I saw you had put a photoset of the Detroit Public Schools Book Repository on the blue. Crazy, I thought. I am going to be in Detroit this very weekend! And so, a plan formed. I would find this Book Repository, and retrieve a book from it! This book would then be yours, a physical memento of a place that has been forgotten and lost to urban decay.

The actual implementation of this plan was less than successful. I did indeed find the repository, but it was significantly less accessible than I'd hoped. Doors boarded, windows barred. Apparently the security was tightened after a group of kids found a body while attempting to ice skate in the basement. There was a bit of fencing that was damamged, perhaps enough so that one small person could crawl under and gain entrance. But given the cold, and the broad daylinght, and the number of people hanging around, I decided against attempting it. I figured getting arrested would cost me more than $15.

Furtunately, I had spied on my way downtown a small school in a less conspicuous neighborhood. It was that location, the former Wilbur Wright Middle School, that I braved with one small maglight and a cautious girlfriend in tow. Lo and behold, in a small room behind a destroyed piano, I found music books. Mostly unused, resting in a pile among trash and other detritus. I sorted through them as best I could manage, pulling out the ones that looked to be in the best condition. I brought them back to Chicago, and put them in a box I purchased from a local antique shop. Now they are yours, to do with as you will.

Merry Quonsmas and a Happy New Year,

Luke Holladay (metafilter: lholladay)

I just want to give a massive shout out to lholladay and his awesomely good natured girlfriend for showing me the true spirit of Quonsmas.
posted by ottereroticist at 8:58 AM on December 23, 2009 [7 favorites]

Oh, and this is the post about the Detroit Book Depository that inspired lholladay to give me that awesome gift.
posted by ottereroticist at 9:06 AM on December 23, 2009

We left on the 22nd, and won't be back until the 28th, so I may have a Quonsmas present waiting for me when I get home, and if I do, and you had my name as your gift recipient, rest assured I will come back to the thread to sing your praises!
posted by misha at 10:08 AM on December 23, 2009

Eee! A belated Quonsmus will be coming...lo, I have not been forgotten!

I haven't heard from my Quonsee either, misha, but I think they are out of town. I hope they like their gift!
posted by SisterHavana at 10:31 AM on December 23, 2009

I just got mine last night. An awesome book from Amazon. Thanks, Secret Quonsar!
posted by reenum at 10:32 AM on December 23, 2009

And my Quonsmus present is here! It's a very cool vintage book about the making of "It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World." Thanks samthemander! : )
posted by SisterHavana at 7:27 PM on December 23, 2009

Oh great Secret Quonsar in the sky, I too am leaving for the holidays and wont be back until next year. The post office will save your gift and hopefully I'll have a surprise when I get back.
posted by sweetmarie at 7:53 PM on December 23, 2009

considering a package my brother sent me from Boston at the beginning of the month did not get here until yesterday (when he, too, arrived from Boston - though not by post), and every birthday card i've sent this month was received late, i'm going to assume the post office is swamped. i'm still holding out hope for my SQ.
posted by gursky at 8:36 PM on December 23, 2009

I think some people who haven't gotten gifts yet are too bashful to say so, because nobody wants to sound like "RAARRR WHERE IS MY GIFT?" (but those people are probably reaaalllly excited though)
posted by so_gracefully at 8:40 PM on December 23, 2009

Sister Havana, I hope you like it! It's pretty rocking-- the best bits are at the end. Isn't that book rad?

Doh! Due to my own stupidity, I can't give credit to my Secret Quonsar yet because I left the "From" tag at my office (!) and failed to memorize the giver's name. However-- to the kind wonderful person in NM that sent me this AWESOME bowl that looks like made of splashing/spilling milk: I have already eaten dinner out of it. (Awh yeah, cereal for dinnah!)

And the tripod pig rocks my socks off. (Plus it's good luck!) It is now the house god of my cube.

THANK YOU!!!
posted by samthemander at 11:29 PM on December 23, 2009

hippybear: "I am sad and worried because I have heard NOTHING from my Quonsee, neither through the anonymous Elfster "please say thank you" service, nor through this thread, nor through my MeMail. I'm worried I misaddressed the package or that someone stole it, and I feel uneasy about all that. I hope my Quonsee will get in touch, even if s/he hated my package"

I haven't heard from mine either. :/
posted by IndigoRain at 12:15 AM on December 24, 2009

How did you know?!

Every time a bell rings, the quanta gets its E.
posted by at the crossroads at 1:08 AM on December 24, 2009

OMG HAPPY QUANSMAS!

We got home late last night, after a frikking nightmare at the grocery store, so we didn't bother to check mail until this morning. And there it was! A big envelope full of Japanese cuteness! Including a truly mystifying Hello Kitty pen. I think she is holding...a spatula? And she is in a fried egg? It's the best.

Hope you are feeling better, Secret Quonsar from Lacey, Washington. It wasn't late at all. :)
posted by JoanArkham at 5:35 AM on December 24, 2009

I think I was just Quonsed!

DK 'Eyewitness' (somebody checked my posting history) DINOSAUR book! (With wall chart, a big plus.) Meant I couldn't eat lunch because we had to carefully inspect every page of the dinosaur book right now. Yay Christmas! Yay Secret Quonsar!
posted by kmennie at 8:37 AM on December 24, 2009

I'm waiting for mine to show but happily, the box I shipped to .AU arrived on the day the US Post said it would and my Quonsee memailed me to let me know she got it. Yay, so relieved because last year I heard back nothing at all and I still wonder how it ended.
posted by jamaro at 9:07 AM on December 24, 2009

I just got THE MOST WONDERFUL BOX OF TOYS EVER from my Secret Quonsar! I don't know his user name and I want to thank him ... so thank you Mark from Winnipeg Canada! You are awesome! Thank you thank you thank you!
posted by Kangaroo at 9:24 AM on December 24, 2009

Sadly, I left town before my quonsar arrived, and it turns out I won't actually be back until a week into January (random work trip to Toronto). So I guess I'll have to wait to be surprised until I return.. hopefully it's nothing perishable!
posted by nat at 9:52 AM on December 24, 2009

I just got THE MOST WONDERFUL BOX OF TOYS EVER from my Secret Quonsar! I don't know his user name and I want to thank him ... so thank you Mark from Winnipeg Canada! You are awesome! Thank you thank you thank you!

Mark from Winnipeg?
posted by gman at 11:11 AM on December 24, 2009

a Quonsmas miracle! my Quonsmas gift was waiting for me when i got home from work!!!

thank you, thank you, thank you to Nat who sent me an awesome SNOWFLAKE hat. that's right. i am a special snowflake! (and it's a very good gift since i am bald, and it is coooold.)
posted by gursky at 2:31 PM on December 24, 2009

I originally posted this in the wrong thread:

I got my SecretQuonsar gift, whee, and it's exactly what I wanted, owl puke!!!

(seriously, that was what I asked for.)

PLUS I got a cool Utili-Key 6-in-one tool.

Thanks again, sandraregina!

I haven't heard from my Quonsee yet, but I sent it UPS, so I know it got dropped off to his doorstep yesterday...
posted by HopperFan at 5:59 PM on December 24, 2009

Dear Still-Secret Quonsar,
The book you chose for me was actually the one I wanted the absolute most on my whole (long) Amazon wishlist, and is part of my preparation for making a really big decision in my life. You might have just helped change my entire future for the exponentially-better. Very many thanks. :)
posted by so_gracefully at 7:19 PM on December 24, 2009

I waited till today to open my secret Quonsar. Thank you Amellirae for a fabulous book holder. It will hold my latest Terry Pratchett nicely while I feed cut mangoes to feed the kids. YAY!
posted by taff at 8:31 PM on December 24, 2009

Is it too early to start the "I got stiffed for Secret Quansar" thread?
posted by bondcliff at 8:37 AM on December 26, 2009

My SQ sent me Bananagrams which was coincidentally great: I'd recently been exposed to the game on a trip out of town, and was thinking of buying it to enjoy with friends back home. I had a psychic SQ. Thank you!
posted by K.P. at 10:00 AM on December 26, 2009

Thank you to my SQ for the yellow kitchen apron with kanji on it! I thanked you via Elfster so I know you know I got it, but it seems appropriate to thank you here, too. YAYY! Many thanks!! :)
posted by tomboko at 4:42 PM on December 26, 2009

Hooray for D.W. in Vermont (from what I can tell this is not actual user dw, who lives here in Seattle)! I have come home from a train trip (yay) to family including evil grandma (ugh) to find MAPLE CANDY and much other deliciousness! I love maple candy and I'm so excited to make waffles for breakfast and have apple butter and/or maple syrup. I love Vermont. I love quonsmas! Thank you mystery D.W.! I hope you have recovered from the swines.
posted by librarina at 11:24 PM on December 26, 2009

Thanks for the salmon and the hat. My son loves orange hats. Unexpected and awesome.
posted by bh at 4:23 AM on December 27, 2009

I put my quonsee's package into the mail system sometime around the 19th and left town on the 24th. No word on whether they received it yet (or liked it at all), but I do hope it at least got there.
posted by casarkos at 10:03 AM on December 27, 2009

Hoping my quonsee received their gift! I haven't heard anything yet.
posted by biochemist at 5:38 PM on December 27, 2009

I had resigned my secret quonsar gift to having been stolen by whomever had busted into Metroid Baby's quonsar package, but lo and behold, I just got back into town, and there it was!

Thanks, obloquy! (It was a mysterious-seeming stream of trinkets, including a whirling candle fixture and some excellent comics about the doings of The Man!)
posted by ignignokt at 9:18 PM on December 27, 2009

piratebowling - no worries, customs failed to ruin the surprise of an awesome gift, and I have been welcoming our new robotic marching pencil-sharpening overlords since just before Christmas. Thanks - totally brilliant. Even my normally sceptical girlfriend was moved to remark that "your internet friends are really cool". Praise indeed!
posted by patricio at 8:28 AM on December 28, 2009

That makes me so happy, Patricio!
posted by piratebowling at 10:31 AM on December 28, 2009

I love the dominoes set I received from my awesome secret quonsar! I can't wait to teach my nieces how to play when I visit them this week. Thank you so much and happy new year to my Mystery Quonsar :)
posted by vespertine at 11:08 AM on December 28, 2009

I had almost given up hope (damn USPS), but thank you SQ for the super-awesome vintage map magnets! Don't know how you managed to find one with my town on it. They went right up on my fridge.
posted by smackfu at 11:05 AM on December 29, 2009

Thanks! I got some awesome pink-stripped slipper socks and some candy. (May have to add something to what I sent my secret Quonsar!).
posted by ejaned8 at 12:03 PM on December 29, 2009

Thank you 5_13_23_42_69_666! I love the necklace!

It took me a second to realize that 5_13_23_42_69_666 was your username and not some code I needed to break!
posted by whoaali at 2:38 PM on December 29, 2009

I'd like to give a big THANK YOU to iamkimiam, who used super-sleuthing skillz and some kind of Mefite ESP to select great books from the 33 1/3 series for me! I've been nibbling on them since I got them, and they are quite wonderful!

I'm still wondering if my own quonsee got his gift.
posted by zennie at 4:47 PM on December 29, 2009

No gift yet, but my secret quonsar has kindly used the "ask a question" feature on elfster to let me know that they had to re-send it so that's ok.
No word yet on if my package has arrived chez my quonsee.
posted by Billegible at 6:56 PM on December 29, 2009

Thank you, Lyn Never, for the awesome book, bookmark, and magnetic book box! I just used the word "book" three times in a row!
posted by schleppo at 8:28 AM on December 30, 2009

Dear MeFi, My Quonsar sent me a jar of homemade Lemon Curd, should I eat it?


TOO LATE and no, you can't have any. Oh my goodness, spread on bread it's like a mouthful of sweet bright sunbeam, and the perfect antidote to this grey winter day. I wasn't really planning on eating half a loaf of bread this afternoon but hey, it'll help stave off the scurvy. So, so wonderful and good. Makes the best lemon meringue pie taste like vanilla pudding by comparison.

Thank you so much, Mysterious Canadian Stranger!
posted by Lou Stuells at 1:07 PM on December 31, 2009

No word from my Secret Quonsar yet...fingers crossed!

I did receive some NOM NOM NOM delicious cookies in the cookie swap, and I HIGHLY recommend it! I now have some delicious spice cookies made with fuyu persimmons (never heard of those before but the cookies are *awesome*) and some almond biscotti and homemade caramels (SO want the recipe for those) to add to the chocolate almond cookies I got before I even left home for the holidays.
posted by misha at 3:51 PM on December 31, 2009

Back into town after the holidays and my secret quonsar gifts (!) were with the piled up mail. Many thanks to my secret quonsar: I like them all!
posted by pasici at 1:12 PM on January 2, 2010

Ok, somebody AWESOME must have searched Amazon to see if I had a wishlist and decided to order me the coolest book on it: The Cloudspotter's Guide: The Science, History, and Culture of Clouds. (Their name was on the Amazon receipt that came with the book, but I accidentally threw it out and since it was their "real" name instead of their MeFi handle I still would have had no idea who it was. Feel free to claim credit! I will sing your praises!)

The Cloudspotter's Guide was written by the founder of the Cloud Appreciation Society, previously discussed. Turns out it's my very favorite kind of science writing -- the kind that's actually entertaining and enjoyable to read, besides dropping the real factology on whatever the subject is. I love this book! THANK YOU SECRET QUONSAR!!!!
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 7:31 PM on January 2, 2010

I got my Qounsar a keychain which glows through the awesome power of Tritium.
posted by floam at 4:43 PM on January 3, 2010

So... It is Jan. 3 and I have heard nothing from my quonsar, nor received a gift. I find this weird, because immediately after elfster set up the exchange s/he contacted me to put my actual address in my elfster info.

I thought "AWESOME!" my secret quonsar is so with it that they are correcting my quonsar etiquette, and I looked forward to a quonsar gift to remember. But now all the holidays are over, and my quonsar spirit is slowly dying. I will keep the faith, and I loved finding something truly weird and fair trade for my quonsee.

But I have stopped giving my mailbox hopeful glances each day I pull into the driveway, and I have given up hope that one of the myriad boxes that arrive each day from far-off places for my husband (a Hong Kong electronics bidding site devotee) might, in fact, be for me.

I forgive you, secret quonsar, and know that your failure reflects not on your character but on some terrible circumstance unknown to me. For I know that you did not fail as a result of will or desire, but because of something far more sinister that perhaps I shall never know. And because of this obviously terrible turn of circumstances, I wish you bright blessings and the greatest hopes for the new year - blessings of health and prosperity. So that next year you may astound your secret quonsar with something truly delightful.
posted by jeoc at 8:00 PM on January 3, 2010

And more importantly, perhaps you will astound yourself with the delightful life you have created.

Best wishes.
posted by jeoc at 8:01 PM on January 3, 2010

bondcliff: "Is it too early to start the "I got stiffed for Secret Quansar" thread"

If you still haven't received your gift, send me or Julen an e-mail/Mefi mail. I think we'll start looking into it this weekend. Give it a few more business days because of the holidays and all.
posted by IndigoRain at 10:55 PM on January 3, 2010

I am the WORST QUONSAR EVER, but I've been in touch with my quonsee about how my already-scheduled-to-be-late gift has become even later due to luggage tragedy, a blizzard, and a damaged preschool classroom. (Ok, maybe I didn't mention ALL of those factors, but it is in the mail. And given the speed of international mail, might arrive there by St. Patrick's Day.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:57 AM on January 4, 2010

I loved my Secret Quonsar gift - hopefully my sender got the message via Elfster (?) since they didn't include their info. Truly unique AND exactly the sort of thing I like!

No word as to whether the gift that I sent was received - which is disconcerting since I had an ETA from the post office of 6 days after it was sent. Eeep. :(
posted by VioletU at 9:15 AM on January 4, 2010

Thank you to my secret quonsar who sent me the gift of fire! We used it to set fire to the alcohol-soaked Christmas pudding, and then some alcohol-soaked guests nearly set themselves on fire (it makes BIG sparks). Good times!
posted by penguinliz at 9:20 AM on January 4, 2010

THANK YOU Secretariat!

I confess I don't want to unwrap it - the sight of a hula hoop in post office dress is so utterly delicious I think I might be getting more aerobic benefit from laughter than from proper hulahooping. The look on the husband's face when he brought it up the stairs was... wonderful. :D
I hulahoop in wii fit almost every day - now I can add a real hoop to the routine!

Thanks for the most awesome gift ever to traverse the mail.
posted by Billegible at 10:59 AM on January 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

So glad it made it there! I originally mailed that hoop way back in December- so hopefully that gives others some hope. Probably everyone involved in the mailing process had to play with it on the way and that's why it took so long.
posted by Secretariat at 12:12 PM on January 4, 2010

I'm still holding out hope. Packages sent to my house usually take the full 10 day post office time to arrive, and those are business days, of which we've recently had a reduced number. (So if you're my secret quonsar, that's why I haven't said any thanks yet. I will, I promise.) Oh also I'm not actually home, so I'm relying on my housemate's "no packages yet".

Glad to hear my quonsee's package made it to its destination though!
posted by nat at 12:16 PM on January 4, 2010

BTW, I thought that reddit's one-off implementation of secret santa put elfster to shame. It has a way to post photos of the gifts, and a way to say "I shipped my gift" and "I received a gift".

Speaking of which, I meant to post a photo of what I got: magnets!
posted by smackfu at 12:42 PM on January 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

(Although the reddit one did have typical reddit drama and vigilante justice when someone got a joke gift they didn't think took enough effort: drama!)
posted by smackfu at 1:09 PM on January 4, 2010

Damn hell, I know it's supposed to be about the spirit and all, but if all I got was an evil bobcat Santa picture (and four paperclips), I'd be kind of pissed too.

(Just for that, you're all getting one next year.)
posted by Madamina at 3:15 PM on January 4, 2010

The postal service comes through! Mr. WanKenobi and I were out of town until yesterday, and our mail was on hold, which Secret Quonsor arachnid got a bit worried about. But today the post office delivered to me an awesome-looking children's book, The Halfmen of O! It really sounds right up my alley, arachnid, and I can't wait to read it. Thank you so much!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:52 PM on January 4, 2010

The Halfmen of O was one of my most favourite children's books growing up. So go arachnid!
posted by shelleycat at 6:46 PM on January 4, 2010

FRIENDS!

I have been quonsed.

I received two delightful books: a collection of instructional comics from the UK magazine Girl from 1952-1960 called Mother Tells You How and a novel, After Berlin, which was inscribed to me by the author! (Is the author my secret quonsar? I don't know!)

Perhaps best of all, however, were the nifty postcards, including the one with one of the best agglomerations of text I have ever had the good fortune to lay eyes upon:

BALDWIN'S
> > ★ < <
WIND & DIGESTIVE
PILLS
cures
INDIGESTION, DYSPEPSIA, WIND,
PAINS IN THE CHEST AFTER MEALS,
LOSS OF APPETITE,
And Natural Relish for Food,
SOUR BELCHINGS,
HEARTBURN, VOMITING.
--------------------
Price 6^d. & 1' • Per Box

It is probably a good thing I didn't continue to wait by the mail table at work, as I had apparently forgotten that I gave my home address, anyway.

Thank you, secret quonsar!
posted by ocherdraco at 10:57 PM on January 4, 2010

I finally got off my butt and went to the post office to pick up a package they wouldn't leave last week, and lucky me - it was my Quonsar gift. It was the XKCD Vol. 0 book - which is quite excellent.

Secret Quonsar, please identify yourself so that you may receive the appropriate thank you email.
posted by cgomez at 11:51 AM on January 5, 2010

Unfamiliar footsteps in the snow led to the strange and wonderful Quonsar package waiting inside my back door tonight. I'm now enjoying a nicely illustrated Czech edition of the fairy tales of Mme D'Aulnoy, a 1948 yearbook's worth of Dutch farm kids from Bellflower, CA, and a terrific handmade calendar from illustrator Sally Harless. Secret Quonsar really does exist! Let joy be unconfined.

Thank you, SQ Annamarie!
posted by Kinbote at 8:28 PM on January 5, 2010

I opened the door today with my heart in my boots knowing that it was going to take me two hours of cautious snow-walking to get to work - and found a small, very battered package covered in snow.

...

It's a needlefelt kit to make a Winter Bunny!!!! Sorry, I have gone over into crazed cackling territory, but the gift demands it. Thank you, banannafish. I love it, particularly its white stomach and the enormous scarf. I opened the kit when I got to work and found loads of soft sheep's wool roving - the day has definitely improved.

And emperor.seamus and I are doing a miniature UK cookie exchange - let me know if you'd like to join in.

Thanks again to banannafish and everyone else who makes this an awesome place.
posted by paduasoy at 2:30 AM on January 6, 2010

Now that I'm done traveling and can assuredly get to the post office at any time, let me know if you haven't been quonsed and I'll stick a little something in the mail for you. It's the least I can do for being SO DAMNED LATE with my actual exchange.

I hope it makes it across the world eventually. That little package will have traveled the whole globe by the time it gets there.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:41 AM on January 6, 2010

(That is, this offer is unofficial and is not brought to you by Elfster or IndigoRain, it's just me trying to be nice over here.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:41 AM on January 6, 2010

In a fell swoop of excellence, my SQ paduasoy received her gift the very same day I finished reading my most excellently selected gift from the person who had me, pasici! Another rousing thank you thank you thank you to everyone involved in the Quonsmus!
posted by banannafish at 7:23 AM on January 6, 2010

I have been quonsed. I do not know by whom, nor do I know what the quonsing consists of. But my housemate assures me a package has shown up addressed to one "nat". So, I presume, I have been quonsed. Thank you, SQ! (I'll open it when I get home in a few days! Can't wait!)
posted by nat at 6:20 PM on January 6, 2010

I am the WORST QUONSAR EVER,

The worst quonsar ever would have never contacted their quonsee and just quietly sent them a lump of coal. Instead grapefruitmoon keep in touch the whole time and sent a really lovely orangey-red bead necklace from Portugal along with a really cute little rooster keychain (also Portuguese). Which puts her firmly in the realms of awesome quonsarers so there. A++++ would be quonsed again!

(thank you!!)
posted by shelleycat at 2:34 PM on January 7, 2010

I am very grateful that the USPS took pity on me and at least delivered my gifts quickly. They got from me in Rhode Island to shelleycat in New Zealand in a mere FOUR DAYS. I can't even get packages delivered to KANSAS that quickly! It's a quonsmus miracle!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:51 PM on January 7, 2010

(That's right. Portugal to Rhode Island to New Zealand. That is one well-traveled rooster.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:52 PM on January 7, 2010

Does it make any difference that it's Friday here? I guess it's still four days elapsed but still, time travel!
posted by shelleycat at 3:02 PM on January 7, 2010

woo hoo! My "secret internet present" finally arrived today. Just when I was starting to get pouty about it my mystery quonsar came through with a lovely book on Bob Dylan in some snazzy target.com wrapping. I was so excited I took pictures of the whole unwrappening to document it for posterity. Thank you awesome Mefite whoever you are!
posted by sweetmarie at 4:22 PM on January 7, 2010

You people living in the future! I have a friend who lives in Australia and when she's online in middle of the night (conveniently, she's a chronic insomniac) and I have a few minutes downtime at work when the kiddos are lulled into submission by Shaun the Sheep, I often ask her how the day is going to turn out, since she's IN THE FUTURE and all.

But it's still four elapsed days because in THE FUTURE the package was mailed on Tuesday. The future is magic!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:43 PM on January 7, 2010

I often ask her how the day is going to turn out, since she's IN THE FUTURE and all.


Friday's rainy and kind of gross. But there are several good packages in the mailbox (including this which has had rave reviews from my friends) so it balances out.
posted by shelleycat at 4:59 PM on January 7, 2010

I'm a little late to the party because I've been out of town, but my present was waiting for me when I came back. I was totally delighted! I like making miniatures and dollhouses so I got A TINY PLATE OF BEANS!!!1!1!! Along with the most charming little egg set I've ever seen. Thank you, Secret Quonsar!
posted by Thin Lizzy at 3:43 PM on January 8, 2010

My quonsing consisted of several cute+useful items: orange binder clips (which are now optimistically placed near the tall stacks of paper on my desk), nifty magnets, and white board markers (soon to be dragged into puzzle-solving next weekend).

I also learned that I've met my quonsar's brother (weird). And that said wonderful quonsar (Mizu) has not been quonsed. OH NO! Somebody had better get on that. Hold out hope, quonsar-o-mine!
posted by nat at 11:45 AM on January 11, 2010

I was visited by the spirit of quonsar today! Thank you for my very cool Wizard Stick! I will start making all kinds of cool chemical smoke formations with it as soon as I scrounge up 6 AA batteries.
posted by amelliferae at 4:20 PM on January 11, 2010