Was it something I said? September 21, 2010 4:20 PM Subscribe
Censorship?
This thread invited a number of differing opinions on what the OP should do. I suggested that the OP should consider the capital this situation affords them. A perfectly legitimate assessment. However, it offended common sensibility and so I believe was deleted. What's wrong with offering the ways in which an OP may use a situation to their advantage? By which set of guidelines was my post deleted?
This thread invited a number of differing opinions on what the OP should do. I suggested that the OP should consider the capital this situation affords them. A perfectly legitimate assessment. However, it offended common sensibility and so I believe was deleted. What's wrong with offering the ways in which an OP may use a situation to their advantage? By which set of guidelines was my post deleted?
A wise person once said:
"I know I should stay away from human relations questions since I have all the empathy of a wooden broom handle."
Listen to that person.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:24 PM on September 21, 2010 [30 favorites]
"I know I should stay away from human relations questions since I have all the empathy of a wooden broom handle."
Listen to that person.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:24 PM on September 21, 2010 [30 favorites]
Just for the record, your two comments were, in full.
You're new. You're having an awful lot of comments flagged and deleted. We've talked to you about it before. Do you have questions to ask us?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:25 PM on September 21, 2010 [31 favorites]
This is delicious. She has violated the professional standards expected of her and, by virtue of the fact that you've found her, she can't care much to protect her dignity. Whilst most might counsel a course of action that would ruffle the least feathers I say this: Dude, you have so much leverage. For the advancement of your being, do not throw this away. Keep it quiet and that one time three years from now when she criticises you, just drop her username. Her blood will freeze...and
And you will be the stuff of legend!
If I didn't make myself clear... by posting a video of herself ramming a dildo up herself on a PUBLIC website, she can't expect you to respect her "privacy".The first comment shows some sort of non-understanding of the problem the OP is trying to solve. At the point at which you start with the dildo-ramming comments, you're really outside of the realm of how we usually talk about things in AskMe. Both comments sound strange and creepy and enough like jokes that it's unclear if you're putting us on or not. This is something that has come up in the past and that I specifically have MeMailed you about before.
You're new. You're having an awful lot of comments flagged and deleted. We've talked to you about it before. Do you have questions to ask us?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:25 PM on September 21, 2010 [31 favorites]
What you said was:
Askme is as functional as people make it, and we try to keep the utility high in part by removing stuff that seems jokey or dismissive or there more as someone randomly commenting on the question/thread/topic than actively trying to help the asker find a constructive solution to that problem. The above is exactly the sort of thing that people flag and that we remove, and there needs to be less of that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:25 PM on September 21, 2010 [7 favorites]
This is delicious. She has violated the professional standards expected of her and, by virtue of the fact that you've found her, she can't care much to protect her dignity. Whilst most might counsel a course of action that would ruffle the least feathers I say this: Dude, you have so much leverage. For the advancement of your being, do not throw this away. Keep it quiet and that one time three years from now when she criticises you, just drop her username. Her blood will freeze...Which leaves me feeling like you just seriously don't get Ask Metafilter. It's by far not the first thing by you we've had to remove, and to my knowledge jessamyn has actually tried conveying to you in email the need for you to throttle back with the chatty just-cuz-you're-bored-seeming nonsense in the green.
And you will be the stuff of legend!
Askme is as functional as people make it, and we try to keep the utility high in part by removing stuff that seems jokey or dismissive or there more as someone randomly commenting on the question/thread/topic than actively trying to help the asker find a constructive solution to that problem. The above is exactly the sort of thing that people flag and that we remove, and there needs to be less of that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:25 PM on September 21, 2010 [7 favorites]
Could you repeat your exact suggestions here? Most of us didn't see your precises answer. If it was a recommendation of blackmail I can imagine why it was deleted though: Because That Is Gross.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:26 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:26 PM on September 21, 2010
That was offensive advice for what was already a creepy question. The OP supposedly wants to avoid his coworker being blackmailed, while you gave him advice on how to do just that. Ugh.
posted by malapropist at 4:27 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by malapropist at 4:27 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Ah I see, well I have to say that answer made me chortle, which is probably a 100% positive sign test it should have been deleted. Ask me is not for amoral jokes.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:28 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:28 PM on September 21, 2010
By which set of guidelines was my post deleted?
The one that says "please don't be an asshole."
posted by ambrosia at 4:31 PM on September 21, 2010 [6 favorites]
The one that says "please don't be an asshole."
posted by ambrosia at 4:31 PM on September 21, 2010 [6 favorites]
Was it something I said?
Wow, the mods really did you a favor; a favor you've undone by posting this MeTa.
posted by nola at 4:31 PM on September 21, 2010 [69 favorites]
Wow, the mods really did you a favor; a favor you've undone by posting this MeTa.
posted by nola at 4:31 PM on September 21, 2010 [69 favorites]
Askme is as functional as people make it
I wasn't joking. If he followed my advice he may have an ace in the hole for future dealings with this person. What is wrong with that advice?
and we try to keep the utility high in part by removing stuff that seems jokey or dismissive or there more as someone randomly commenting on the question/thread/topic than actively trying to help the asker find a constructive solution to that problem. The above is exactly the sort of thing that people flag and that we remove, and there needs to be less of that.
I was neither jokey nor dismissive and my advice was constructive.
posted by Biru at 4:32 PM on September 21, 2010
I wasn't joking. If he followed my advice he may have an ace in the hole for future dealings with this person. What is wrong with that advice?
and we try to keep the utility high in part by removing stuff that seems jokey or dismissive or there more as someone randomly commenting on the question/thread/topic than actively trying to help the asker find a constructive solution to that problem. The above is exactly the sort of thing that people flag and that we remove, and there needs to be less of that.
I was neither jokey nor dismissive and my advice was constructive.
posted by Biru at 4:32 PM on September 21, 2010
Having your comments deleted from askMe seems the least of your problems.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 4:32 PM on September 21, 2010 [77 favorites]
posted by TryTheTilapia at 4:32 PM on September 21, 2010 [77 favorites]
I am still trying to figure out why Biru feels the need to participate in human relations questions given that he feels they are unnecessary in general.
posted by grouse at 4:33 PM on September 21, 2010 [7 favorites]
posted by grouse at 4:33 PM on September 21, 2010 [7 favorites]
Illegal use of "whilst."
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:34 PM on September 21, 2010 [36 favorites]
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:34 PM on September 21, 2010 [36 favorites]
If a lot of people flagged your comment, that means it's not just a mod decision. I understand that "Censorship" is a lot shorter and easier to type than "A lot of community members thought it was creepy and inappropriate," but it looks like the latter statement may be more accurate.
I've had comments deleted from AskMe. I think when I was brand new here, it was something like 1 in 4, as I learned the site conventions. It's cool, just learn from it and move on. (But learn from it.)
posted by KathrynT at 4:35 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
I've had comments deleted from AskMe. I think when I was brand new here, it was something like 1 in 4, as I learned the site conventions. It's cool, just learn from it and move on. (But learn from it.)
posted by KathrynT at 4:35 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
What is wrong with that advice?
That is not anywhere like the advice that the OP is looking for. If the question was 'How can I use this to be a shitty scumbag and treat someone horribly,' then you answered the question well. But you did not answer the question.
When people ask questions about babysitters vs. daycare centers, it is also not appropriate to suggest methods for drowning children.
posted by shakespeherian at 4:36 PM on September 21, 2010 [49 favorites]
That is not anywhere like the advice that the OP is looking for. If the question was 'How can I use this to be a shitty scumbag and treat someone horribly,' then you answered the question well. But you did not answer the question.
When people ask questions about babysitters vs. daycare centers, it is also not appropriate to suggest methods for drowning children.
posted by shakespeherian at 4:36 PM on September 21, 2010 [49 favorites]
If he followed my advice he may have an ace in the hole for future dealings with this person. What is wrong with that advice?
Sitewise, it doesn't answer the question. Ethically, it's creepy. We deleted it based on the first reason, but people may also be taking umbrage because of the second.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:37 PM on September 21, 2010 [5 favorites]
Sitewise, it doesn't answer the question. Ethically, it's creepy. We deleted it based on the first reason, but people may also be taking umbrage because of the second.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:37 PM on September 21, 2010 [5 favorites]
Pretty tasteless, for sure. Blackmail is also actually illegal.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:38 PM on September 21, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:38 PM on September 21, 2010 [6 favorites]
Wow, just wow.
Anyone got popcorn ready yet?
posted by Razzle Bathbone at 4:38 PM on September 21, 2010
Anyone got popcorn ready yet?
posted by Razzle Bathbone at 4:38 PM on September 21, 2010
Oh FFS. Let's all be care-bears who love rainbows and rivers of chocolate. Is it really the case that all of you are mortally offended by the application of logic?
posted by Biru at 4:40 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Biru at 4:40 PM on September 21, 2010
I wasn't joking. If he followed my advice he may have an ace in the hole for future dealings with this person. What is wrong with that advice?
It was terrible? Poster is asking how to do right by their coworker, your response, framed as some awesome epic thing to do, is that they blackmail her. If that had been the sort of thing the asker was requesting, their question wouldn't have lasted five minutes before deletion.
That's, honestly, I don't know what to tell you if this isn't making sense. If that's seriously your idea of reasonable and constructive advice in the context of Ask Metafilter, I'd pretty much prefer you didn't answer qualitative questions at all.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:41 PM on September 21, 2010 [8 favorites]
It was terrible? Poster is asking how to do right by their coworker, your response, framed as some awesome epic thing to do, is that they blackmail her. If that had been the sort of thing the asker was requesting, their question wouldn't have lasted five minutes before deletion.
That's, honestly, I don't know what to tell you if this isn't making sense. If that's seriously your idea of reasonable and constructive advice in the context of Ask Metafilter, I'd pretty much prefer you didn't answer qualitative questions at all.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:41 PM on September 21, 2010 [8 favorites]
You didn't answer the question. Did you read the question?
posted by shakespeherian at 4:41 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by shakespeherian at 4:41 PM on September 21, 2010
If he followed my advice he may have an ace in the hole for future dealings with this person. What is wrong with that advice?
This is Metafilter, not Sociopathfilter.
posted by idiomatika at 4:42 PM on September 21, 2010 [61 favorites]
This is Metafilter, not Sociopathfilter.
posted by idiomatika at 4:42 PM on September 21, 2010 [61 favorites]
Real life is not a movie.
(And if it was, it probably wouldn't be about you.)
posted by hermitosis at 4:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [10 favorites]
(And if it was, it probably wouldn't be about you.)
posted by hermitosis at 4:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [10 favorites]
Sorry Razzle, I can't stay for this show, it's just a retooling of old material that wasn't good the first time. But you can have my bag of popcorn.
posted by nola at 4:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by nola at 4:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Biru, please, for your own sake, put down the shovel.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 4:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 4:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
I was neither jokey nor dismissive and my advice was constructive.
Your advice bordered on blackmail, which is a crime.
posted by hermitosis at 4:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
Your advice bordered on blackmail, which is a crime.
posted by hermitosis at 4:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
Whatever it was, it was not censorship. You may not agree, but it was flat out bad advice, and was running counter to what the OP was inquiring about. I'm sorry, but it happens. May I tactfully suggest you refrain from engaging in RelateFilter questions.
posted by edgeways at 4:44 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by edgeways at 4:44 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
I didn't say blackmail her. I said "keep this in case you have to".
posted by Biru at 4:44 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Biru at 4:44 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
I can say that this makes me feel better about my flagging instincts. I thought about flagging the first one, wondered if it was bad enough to flag, then flagged the second.
At least one newbie knows how to use Ask!
And seriously, Biru, if you actually don't know what the problem is, just don't click on the human relations tag.
posted by freshwater at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
At least one newbie knows how to use Ask!
And seriously, Biru, if you actually don't know what the problem is, just don't click on the human relations tag.
posted by freshwater at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Biru, you've suggested a course of action that would be sexual harassment at best and possibly blackmail. If the OP follows your advice, they could find themselves in hot water.
So aside from the fact that it's a course of action that the OP has legitimately taken off the table (this isn't a "see a therapist" type situation), it's not an option that should be on the table.
Suggesting that someone sexually harass or blackmail a person makes you an asshole.
I'd apologize to you for this, but you seem to not to understand or care about what makes one an asshole. You have repeatedly been unwilling to take community norms and values into consideration when you post here. Please listen to the mods and those of us who have been using MeFi for a while. We do not welcome sexual harassment or blackmailing here.
posted by bilabial at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [11 favorites]
So aside from the fact that it's a course of action that the OP has legitimately taken off the table (this isn't a "see a therapist" type situation), it's not an option that should be on the table.
Suggesting that someone sexually harass or blackmail a person makes you an asshole.
I'd apologize to you for this, but you seem to not to understand or care about what makes one an asshole. You have repeatedly been unwilling to take community norms and values into consideration when you post here. Please listen to the mods and those of us who have been using MeFi for a while. We do not welcome sexual harassment or blackmailing here.
posted by bilabial at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [11 favorites]
Logic? Where is the logic in reading a question by someone who is trying to help a woman out of a potentially embarrassing situation and turning it in to an excuse to humiliate, extort, demean, and punish. That is not answering the question.
posted by Rhomboid at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [17 favorites]
posted by Rhomboid at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [17 favorites]
Most people asking questions on AskMe are actually not looking for an antisocial/vaguely sociopathic way to solve their human relations problem. They're looking for one that respects the others involved.
posted by so_gracefully at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by so_gracefully at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
Your "logic" could have the poster sued for blackmail or sexual harassment.
posted by clearlydemon at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by clearlydemon at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Suggesting blackmail in order to make a woman's blood freeze (in shame and terror, presumably) years from now is only a "perfectly legitimate assessment" if you are a fucking sociopath. Given that this is not SociopathFilter, however, I am afraid you are in the wrong place.
posted by scody at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [12 favorites]
posted by scody at 4:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [12 favorites]
(on non-preview: heh, jinx)
posted by scody at 4:46 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by scody at 4:46 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oh FFS. Let's all be care-bears who love rainbows and rivers of chocolate. Is it really the case that all of you are mortally offended by the application of logic?
I say this with love and open arms: Lurk more, and consider carefully whether this is the best place on the Internet for you.
posted by KathrynT at 4:47 PM on September 21, 2010 [9 favorites]
I say this with love and open arms: Lurk more, and consider carefully whether this is the best place on the Internet for you.
posted by KathrynT at 4:47 PM on September 21, 2010 [9 favorites]
Ok, Biru, I'll bite. You've stated that the OP mill be in a good position to blackmail this woman at a later date if s/he holds onto this information.
In what way is that not suggesting that the OP engage in blackmail?
posted by bilabial at 4:48 PM on September 21, 2010
In what way is that not suggesting that the OP engage in blackmail?
posted by bilabial at 4:48 PM on September 21, 2010
I wasn't joking. If he followed my advice he may have an ace in the hole for future dealings with this person. What is wrong with that advice?
You're basically suggesting he hold onto this information because he might someday be able to blackmail his colleague. That's a crime in many jurisdictions.
Life isn't a game and this ain't the movies. You don't score hand/leverage/points/legend status by blackmailing people and fucking them over.
posted by zarq at 4:48 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
You're basically suggesting he hold onto this information because he might someday be able to blackmail his colleague. That's a crime in many jurisdictions.
Life isn't a game and this ain't the movies. You don't score hand/leverage/points/legend status by blackmailing people and fucking them over.
posted by zarq at 4:48 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
I like chocolate and rainbows, Carebears... not so much. Parenthetically, I am unbelievably glad I don't work near you.
posted by edgeways at 4:51 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by edgeways at 4:51 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
If anything, Biru, I find the self-righteous stance you're taking here to be even more objectionable than your behavior in the thread (as described by jessamyn & cortex). And, to be clear, I found those comments to be extraordinarily objectionable. You've had thorough explanations here, you've been privately emailed before, and yet you persist on this? Really? Really?
If those comments and this post are emblematic of what you consider appropriate participation here, well, not only could I do without your "contributions" on the green, I'd be perfectly happy if you left the gray alone too.
posted by .kobayashi. at 4:52 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
If those comments and this post are emblematic of what you consider appropriate participation here, well, not only could I do without your "contributions" on the green, I'd be perfectly happy if you left the gray alone too.
posted by .kobayashi. at 4:52 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
The kindest thing I can wish for you is that you never find yourself in a situation where someone else has power over you and decides to follow your advice.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:53 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:53 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
It's bad advice not just because it is cruel, but because you'd probably mess the whole thing up and get yourself into trouble the same way I always end up hurting my back when I try to do the dance moves from hip-hop videos. We are not as cool as we imagine ourselves.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:53 PM on September 21, 2010 [22 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:53 PM on September 21, 2010 [22 favorites]
While Biru's comments were undoubtedly offensive and reprehensible, isn't deleting them because "it's illegal" a bit of a red herring? Haven't we had other cases of people recommended illegal courses of action?
posted by crunchland at 4:54 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by crunchland at 4:54 PM on September 21, 2010
Your advice was constructive only in that it helped build you a bridge to live under. You are behaving like a troll in every possible meaning of the word.
Right. Now I'm getting out from under this bridge and back into the sun.
posted by maryr at 4:54 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Right. Now I'm getting out from under this bridge and back into the sun.
posted by maryr at 4:54 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Biru: "Oh FFS. Let's all be care-bears who love rainbows and rivers of chocolate. Is it really the case that all of you are mortally offended by the application of logic"
How did your response answer her questions? A list of them:
Given that several of the questions are prima facie concerns about the material being used against the coworker (blackmail), it's difficult to see how your advice that urges the questioner to use the knowledge as leverage addresses those concerns.
posted by boo_radley at 4:55 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
How did your response answer her questions? A list of them:
- But if I found it on a site with that much traffic, who's to say that one of her students won't come across it?
- What IF one of her students comes across it?
- What if one of them uses it to blackmail her?
- What if the wrong person got ahold of it and used it to pressure her into some sort of inappropriate situation or relationship?
- Should I let her know?
- say I did notify her anonymously -- would that just be more creepy than anything else?
- how can you email/write someone with something like this and be sure that a spouse or child won't see it?
Given that several of the questions are prima facie concerns about the material being used against the coworker (blackmail), it's difficult to see how your advice that urges the questioner to use the knowledge as leverage addresses those concerns.
posted by boo_radley at 4:55 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
I'm not suggesting proactive blackmail (I'm a sensitive sociopath). I'm suggesting that the OP holds onto this info in the case that the person ever attempts to exert pressure on the OP.
posted by Biru at 4:56 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Biru at 4:56 PM on September 21, 2010
Biru: "I didn't say blackmail her. I said "keep this in case you have to"."
Describing blackmail ("Blackmail is the act of threatening to reveal substantially true information about a person to the public") without saying the word "blackmail" does not exculpate you.
posted by boo_radley at 4:57 PM on September 21, 2010 [15 favorites]
Describing blackmail ("Blackmail is the act of threatening to reveal substantially true information about a person to the public") without saying the word "blackmail" does not exculpate you.
posted by boo_radley at 4:57 PM on September 21, 2010 [15 favorites]
Wow, I'd hoped that me quoting your own words back to you would stop the trolling and the troll feeding. I am such a fucking noob sometimes.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:58 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:58 PM on September 21, 2010
CARE BEAR STARE! ♥ ♦ ☁ ☀
posted by katillathehun at 4:59 PM on September 21, 2010 [65 favorites]
posted by katillathehun at 4:59 PM on September 21, 2010 [65 favorites]
While Biru's comments were undoubtedly offensive and reprehensible, isn't deleting them because "it's illegal" a bit of a red herring?
We deleted them because they were terrible answers, not because of any question of criminality.
I'm not suggesting proactive blackmail (I'm a sensitive sociopath). I'm suggesting that the OP holds onto this info in the case that the person ever attempts to exert pressure on the OP.
And we're telling you that that's a shit answer that has no place in the thread. Try to find some way to assimilate this or to modify your behavior so we don't keep having to delete stuff like that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:59 PM on September 21, 2010 [7 favorites]
We deleted them because they were terrible answers, not because of any question of criminality.
I'm not suggesting proactive blackmail (I'm a sensitive sociopath). I'm suggesting that the OP holds onto this info in the case that the person ever attempts to exert pressure on the OP.
And we're telling you that that's a shit answer that has no place in the thread. Try to find some way to assimilate this or to modify your behavior so we don't keep having to delete stuff like that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:59 PM on September 21, 2010 [7 favorites]
Let's all be care-bears who love rainbows and rivers of chocolate.
Yes please. Lets.
posted by Catch at 5:03 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
Yes please. Lets.
posted by Catch at 5:03 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
To my knowledge, the mods are never super-happy about AskMe answers that question the basic premise of someone's question. Sometimes it's the only way to solve the OP's problem, as with "how can I stop being annoying my significant other so that he/she stops beating me?" and so they allow those answers. Other times, questioning the premise isn't important, or even helpful, to finding the answer. The answer to "How should I marinade this steak?" is not "stop eating meat." The mods are right to delete such an answer.
The underlying premise of this question was, "I don't want my coworker to be harmed by this video." You gave an answer that would cause the coworker a lot of harm. That falls pretty clearly in the "does not answer the question" category and should have been deleted. This was not an AskMe that would have been helped by questioning the premise because it was by far not the only way to solve the OP's problem.
posted by lilac girl at 5:04 PM on September 21, 2010 [11 favorites]
The underlying premise of this question was, "I don't want my coworker to be harmed by this video." You gave an answer that would cause the coworker a lot of harm. That falls pretty clearly in the "does not answer the question" category and should have been deleted. This was not an AskMe that would have been helped by questioning the premise because it was by far not the only way to solve the OP's problem.
posted by lilac girl at 5:04 PM on September 21, 2010 [11 favorites]
At this point it has become humorous.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:08 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by shakespeherian at 5:08 PM on September 21, 2010
isn't deleting them because "it's illegal" a bit of a red herring?
It is. As cortex said, we deleted them for other reasons.
(I'm a sensitive sociopath)
I stopped well short of saying your answers sounded sociopathic because that sort of advice is rarely helpful. That said, if you truly have this sort of personality disorder or aspire towards it, this may not be the best place for you. After a few times of telling you to lay off, we'll just start giving you time off until you can either do it on your own, or the time out becomes permanent.
If you are not a troll, now would be a good time to acknowldge that your read on how to deal with this AskMe question was different from nearly everyone else's and while that does not make it de facto wrong, your approach coupled with this MeTa are not seeming like a good faithe effort to engage with this community.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:09 PM on September 21, 2010 [9 favorites]
It is. As cortex said, we deleted them for other reasons.
(I'm a sensitive sociopath)
I stopped well short of saying your answers sounded sociopathic because that sort of advice is rarely helpful. That said, if you truly have this sort of personality disorder or aspire towards it, this may not be the best place for you. After a few times of telling you to lay off, we'll just start giving you time off until you can either do it on your own, or the time out becomes permanent.
If you are not a troll, now would be a good time to acknowldge that your read on how to deal with this AskMe question was different from nearly everyone else's and while that does not make it de facto wrong, your approach coupled with this MeTa are not seeming like a good faithe effort to engage with this community.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:09 PM on September 21, 2010 [9 favorites]
Biru, I have been online for a decade; and the persona you project is, without a doubt, the creepiest I've ever encountered. There are two possibilities here I can think of. You are either deliberately trolling, (and failing miserably at it) , or else you are very badly in need of professional counseling. Seriously. I'm going to log off now, and go have a shower.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 5:09 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 5:09 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
I'm a sensitive sociopath
No such animal. Sensitivity is just a ruse for the sociopath to get what it wants. This is why the petroleum industry spends millions on 'green' advertising.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 5:10 PM on September 21, 2010 [10 favorites]
No such animal. Sensitivity is just a ruse for the sociopath to get what it wants. This is why the petroleum industry spends millions on 'green' advertising.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 5:10 PM on September 21, 2010 [10 favorites]
Who doesn't love rainbows and rivers of chocolate?
As long as you don't become like that one guy who loved rainbows a little too much. Because then you might end up on YouTube and someone will ask what to do if he finds a video of his colleague loving rainbows on YouTube and this whole tragic cycle will repeat itself.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:10 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
As long as you don't become like that one guy who loved rainbows a little too much. Because then you might end up on YouTube and someone will ask what to do if he finds a video of his colleague loving rainbows on YouTube and this whole tragic cycle will repeat itself.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:10 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
If he followed my advice he may have an ace in the hole for future dealings with this person. What is wrong with that advice?
It's not what he asked for.
posted by desuetude at 5:11 PM on September 21, 2010
It's not what he asked for.
posted by desuetude at 5:11 PM on September 21, 2010
Significantly, you seem to be unaware that under the circumstances, merely being a troll would actually be the more flattering characterization.
posted by scody at 5:16 PM on September 21, 2010 [35 favorites]
posted by scody at 5:16 PM on September 21, 2010 [35 favorites]
can this be closed soon?
posted by edgeways at 5:16 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by edgeways at 5:16 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
Biru can you please say something that is an honest attempt to convey thoughts and information in a way that engages with people, thus facilitating conversation? Because otherwise I don't really know what you think is going on here other than grandstanding.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:17 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by shakespeherian at 5:17 PM on September 21, 2010
I'm suggesting that the OP holds onto this info in the case that the person ever attempts to exert pressure on the OP.
For fuck's sake, read the goddamn question:
posted by Rhomboid at 5:18 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
For fuck's sake, read the goddamn question:
What if the wrong person got ahold of it and used it to pressure her into some sort of inappropriate situation or relationship?When somebody asks the question, "I'm worried that [x] might happen to someone, how can I prevent it?" an answer of "Hold on to that info so you can do [x] to the person if you need to" is not answering the question.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:18 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
See, now I'm thinking: maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here ... he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Biru. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:19 PM on September 21, 2010 [20 favorites]
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:19 PM on September 21, 2010 [20 favorites]
Shakesperien I simply offered my take on bow the situation might function to the advantage of the OP. I may have exceeded the remit of the original question, but isn't that a positive thing? "You may not even have thought of it, but..."
posted by Biru at 5:23 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Biru at 5:23 PM on September 21, 2010
Biru I hope to all that is holy you are really trolling because if you are not you really really really REALLY need some counseling.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:24 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:24 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
(or an exorcist.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:25 PM on September 21, 2010 [30 favorites]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:25 PM on September 21, 2010 [30 favorites]
The double-rainbow YouTube thing has ruined rainbows for me. I am done with rainbows.
* dusts off hands *
posted by everichon at 5:25 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
* dusts off hands *
posted by everichon at 5:25 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Second-rate troll is second-rate.
posted by Ouisch at 5:26 PM on September 21, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by Ouisch at 5:26 PM on September 21, 2010 [5 favorites]
Oh FFS. Let's all be care-bears who love rainbows and rivers of chocolate. Is it really the case that all of you are mortally offended by the application of logic?
posted by Biru at 4:40 PM on September 21 [+] [!]
Well, I've heard it argued that the rise of Hitler was achieved through the cold application of logic. So yeah, I could be offended.
And for the record, I am a big fan of rainbows but have always found chocolate over-rated.
posted by philip-random at 5:27 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Biru at 4:40 PM on September 21 [+] [!]
Well, I've heard it argued that the rise of Hitler was achieved through the cold application of logic. So yeah, I could be offended.
And for the record, I am a big fan of rainbows but have always found chocolate over-rated.
posted by philip-random at 5:27 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Is there anyone suggesting counselling who isn't A) American or B) in counselling themselves?
posted by Biru at 5:27 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Biru at 5:27 PM on September 21, 2010
Alright, I can see that. Can you attempt to respond in a non-sarcastic manner to the concerns that have been raised in this thread that your advice seemed to run entirely counter to the concerns that the OP stated regarding his situation? I realize that you're fairly new here, so it may be useful to realize that there are pretty strict guidelines for AskMe answers, and going outside of those guidelines merits deletion of your answers, regardless of how useful you may think they are: If they do not pertain specifically to the question asked, it is likely they will be deleted.
Can you see how this may apply to your answers?
posted by shakespeherian at 5:28 PM on September 21, 2010
Can you see how this may apply to your answers?
posted by shakespeherian at 5:28 PM on September 21, 2010
I guess I'm most disappointed that I only just promised not to get too much more mileage out of my joke MeTa form, and now a perfect opportunity to check the "[x] Somebody has accurately pointed out something awful I said or did" line has arisen. Figures.
posted by .kobayashi. at 5:28 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by .kobayashi. at 5:28 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Christ, what an asshole.
Biru, has it occurred to you that we're not all being "care-bears who love rainbows and rivers of chocolate," but that the fact that everyone says you were creepy, unhelpful, and bordering on advocating future illegal activity means that you were, you know, creepy, unhelpful, and bordering on advocating future illegal activity? Or are you so socially tone-deaf that you still think it's EVERYONE ELSE who is stupid and illogical?
posted by tzikeh at 5:30 PM on September 21, 2010 [7 favorites]
Biru, has it occurred to you that we're not all being "care-bears who love rainbows and rivers of chocolate," but that the fact that everyone says you were creepy, unhelpful, and bordering on advocating future illegal activity means that you were, you know, creepy, unhelpful, and bordering on advocating future illegal activity? Or are you so socially tone-deaf that you still think it's EVERYONE ELSE who is stupid and illogical?
posted by tzikeh at 5:30 PM on September 21, 2010 [7 favorites]
Shakesperien I haven't once been sarcastic in any of my comments.
posted by Biru at 5:30 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Biru at 5:30 PM on September 21, 2010
Should be /b/iru.
Just close this already. Arguing like this brings the site down.
posted by milarepa at 5:31 PM on September 21, 2010 [5 favorites]
Just close this already. Arguing like this brings the site down.
posted by milarepa at 5:31 PM on September 21, 2010 [5 favorites]
all be care-bears who love rainbows and rivers of chocolate.
This is pretty blatantly sarcastic, Biru.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:31 PM on September 21, 2010
This is pretty blatantly sarcastic, Biru.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:31 PM on September 21, 2010
Dear Penthouse, the other day, while surfing porn on the internet, I saw the woman that works in my office three doors down! So I stopped by to get some. I mean, she's an educator...what if this got out? She'd be ruined. I knew she was mine!posted by cjorgensen at 5:31 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
--Biru de SadeThat's pretty much how I read your suggestion.
I cannot shake the feeling that Biru is enjoying the hell out of all this, which somehow is the most disturbing part of the whole putrid affair. I.e., that he isn't trying to engage with us; he is trying to do something to us, and succeeding.
posted by penduluum at 5:32 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by penduluum at 5:32 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
Is there anyone suggesting counselling who isn't A) American or B) in counselling themselves?
Me. Dude, that's some fucked up shit.
posted by gman at 5:32 PM on September 21, 2010 [25 favorites]
Me. Dude, that's some fucked up shit.
posted by gman at 5:32 PM on September 21, 2010 [25 favorites]
By which set of guidelines was my post deleted?
...
Shakesperien I simply offered my take on bow the situation might function to the advantage of the OP. I may have exceeded the remit of the original question, but isn't that a positive thing? "You may not even have thought of it, but..."
Ask MetaFilter comments should address the main question being asked.
posted by juv3nal at 5:32 PM on September 21, 2010
...
Shakesperien I simply offered my take on bow the situation might function to the advantage of the OP. I may have exceeded the remit of the original question, but isn't that a positive thing? "You may not even have thought of it, but..."
Ask MetaFilter comments should address the main question being asked.
posted by juv3nal at 5:32 PM on September 21, 2010
Shakesperien I haven't once been sarcastic in any of my comments.
Yeah, this guy's a troll. I don't think there's much doubt about it now. What else he may be in addition is between his non-American, unpreviously-counseled counselor and himself.
posted by katillathehun at 5:33 PM on September 21, 2010
Yeah, this guy's a troll. I don't think there's much doubt about it now. What else he may be in addition is between his non-American, unpreviously-counseled counselor and himself.
posted by katillathehun at 5:33 PM on September 21, 2010
Is there anyone suggesting counselling who isn't A) American or B) in counselling themselves?
posted by Biru at 5:27 PM on September 21 [+] [!]
I am not in counselling and I am Canadian. I am most emphatically suggesting you seek it out.
posted by torisaur at 5:34 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Biru at 5:27 PM on September 21 [+] [!]
I am not in counselling and I am Canadian. I am most emphatically suggesting you seek it out.
posted by torisaur at 5:34 PM on September 21, 2010
Shakesperien I simply offered my take on bow the situation might function to the advantage of the OP. I may have exceeded the remit of the original question, but isn't that a positive thing? "You may not even have thought of it, but..."
I think we're done here. Biru, if you actually want to make your time on Askme work, you've got to make a connection here that you don't seem to be making so far. We've tried from our end and we're getting nothing from you so far. Either figure it out or I don't see this going anywhere other than you and the site parting ways, voluntarily or otherwise.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:35 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
I think we're done here. Biru, if you actually want to make your time on Askme work, you've got to make a connection here that you don't seem to be making so far. We've tried from our end and we're getting nothing from you so far. Either figure it out or I don't see this going anywhere other than you and the site parting ways, voluntarily or otherwise.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:35 PM on September 21, 2010 [4 favorites]
Q. How can I prevent my cat getting hit by a car?
A. Dude, hit the cat with your car, it's AWESOME.
Obvious troll is obvious.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 5:35 PM on September 21, 2010 [56 favorites]
A. Dude, hit the cat with your car, it's AWESOME.
Obvious troll is obvious.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 5:35 PM on September 21, 2010 [56 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Rule 4, subsection B: Don't be a scumbag.
posted by inigo2 at 4:24 PM on September 21, 2010 [26 favorites]