This is largely a self policing community- but what are community thoughts on sharing every thought we have when someone who hasn't harmed anyone creeps us out?
posted by xarnop to Etiquette/Policy at 5:17 AM (160 comments total)
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Using metafilter as usual in this way to point out how revolting you think innocent people going through something terrible are is harmful- and might be the kind of time to rethink using metafilter as usual if it's going to hurt people.
Would it be ok to say that gay sex creeps you out and what kind of person writes a blog about their creepy gay sex asking for likes (creepy, attention seeking over something that should be private!) in order to raise money to prevent LGBT suicide?
Would it be ok to say that people with eating disorders are doing something so creepy and a blog where someone writes about their eating disorder and asks for likes to raise money to provide resources for people with eating disorders is so creepy, and what sort of person would do that?
What about severe burns? Is it empathetic to profess how creepy you think someone with burn injuries is for posting pictures of themselves on the internet and raising awareness and what sort of creepy person would make that public when they should keep themselves in secret and they should know the world will want to tell them how creepy they are?
These people did NOT sign up to be insulted by the whole world. If you're going to say "Well anyone who writes anything on the internet should be prepared for anything anyone else wants to say about it" cool.
Be prepared to hear what I have to say about that and how harmful and NOT empathetic your behavior is. Also really "They should have known what was coming" is rather creepy logic to justify saying hurtful things about people who probably had no idea how vicious the world is.
To find out many members of the community of metafilter feel like pointing out how revolting people are any time we have an emotional reaction no matter who that harms constitutes empathetic behavior is disturbing to me.
If the people who wrote that blog read this thread and are harmed by how callously people wrote their "reactions" to the blog, I am genuinely embarrassed to be part of a community that zealously defends such hurtful behavior.
I recognize I must have set my ethic meter too high at metafilter, and I may have misjudged the general community here, but is this really necessary to profess how creepy people are and defend that as being empathetic? I like that metafilter has a low level of moderation and the general community is self policing, so-- how should we handle this in the future? Is saying really harmful things to people who I really don't think are "asking for it" or deserve it during a really difficult period in their lives just for putting themselves out there to raise money really an important part of metafilter speak? I just really want to know if the general community here thinks this kind of behavior is empathetic normal behavior because if so, I need to adjust the level of respect I had begun to develop for the metafilter community as a whole.
I feel like if this is what we want to use metafilter for and don't care who it harms, I'm having a hard time understanding how we could call ourselves an empathetic community (but maybe collectively we aren't and that's what I need to adjust in my thinking).