Skip

RIP liosliath May 2, 2013 10:28 AM   Subscribe

I am very sorry to tell folks that Liosliath has died tragically and unexpectedly.

She had been an active member since 2005 and if you saw a Liosliath anywhere else on the internet it was probably her. MetaFilter was one of her internet homes and she was frequently in AskMe helping people with computer/IT issues, personal situations, language questions and Morroccan culture and travel questions. She wrote a blog about Morocco which had been linked in AskMe before. Here is her obituary. If you want to know how to pronounce her username, she's explained it here.

Apologies for the delay in posting here. I was contacted by a former partner and MeFite shortly after the Marathon Bombings with the news and he specifically mentioned how much MetaFilter was a part of her daily life and how much the community meant to her. If people want to contact me privately I can put you in touch with him unless he decides to post here.
posted by jessamyn to MetaFilter-Related at 10:28 AM (297 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

Wow, how terribly sad.

.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 10:32 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 10:32 AM on May 2, 2013


I didn't know her, but anyone whose cats included Darwin and Tort Reform was clearly an awesome person. My sympathies to her loved ones.
posted by Curious Artificer at 10:34 AM on May 2, 2013 [21 favorites]


.
posted by gauche at 10:35 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:39 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:40 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by dhammond at 10:43 AM on May 2, 2013


In searching for more information about her, I found this beautiful and heartrending memorial video.

.
posted by KathrynT at 10:44 AM on May 2, 2013 [4 favorites]


.
posted by gingerbeer at 10:45 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by sweetkid at 10:46 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by troika at 10:47 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by OolooKitty at 10:49 AM on May 2, 2013


I was so sad to hear this. I knew her as an articulate and kind presence but had never had much direct correspondence with her. If is one of the strange things about the online world, that it allows people to have wider effects than they may even know.

.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:51 AM on May 2, 2013 [8 favorites]


.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:51 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by scody at 11:00 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:01 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by josher71 at 11:04 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:06 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by beryllium at 11:15 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by readery at 11:15 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by ChuraChura at 11:18 AM on May 2, 2013


Awful. :-(

.
posted by mykescipark at 11:22 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Iridic at 11:23 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Shouraku at 11:24 AM on May 2, 2013


oh, this is so, so, so sad.

my heart goes out to all who love her, all who will be missing her....

.
posted by batmonkey at 11:25 AM on May 2, 2013


My god, what horrible news. She and I corresponded, though I hadn't heard from her for a while; she used to send me tidbits she thought might be LH material and ask me questions about language. In 2006 she sent me a copy of The Orientalist by Tom Reiss because it was on my Amazon wishlist and "It was the one that I wanted to read the most, ha ha." She was kind and funny and always interested in life, language, and people. Thanks for everything, Liosliath/Leslie (she hated when people said "Lezlee"), and my deepest condolences to everyone who knew and loved you.
posted by languagehat at 11:27 AM on May 2, 2013 [12 favorites]


.
posted by Splunge at 11:34 AM on May 2, 2013


If you want to know how to pronounce her username, she's explained it here.

What a pretty name it is. Also, I must have known a disproportionate amount of Irish named people here in the US or just am sensitive because of my hard-to-pronounce last name (parents made the first name easy) but I have long known how to pronounce Siobhan, Niamh etc. Liosliath is new to me but it's nice, and her explanation is funny and kind.
posted by sweetkid at 11:39 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Michele in California at 11:41 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by mkb at 11:42 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by 4ster at 11:44 AM on May 2, 2013


So sorry.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:46 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Lemurrhea at 11:47 AM on May 2, 2013


She was much loved and will be much missed. My heartfelt condolences.
posted by Lynsey at 11:47 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 11:47 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Kitteh at 11:51 AM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 11:54 AM on May 2, 2013


:(

.

Thanks for letting us know, Jessamyn.
posted by zarq at 11:58 AM on May 2, 2013


Here's a video photo montage posted by her brother, with lovely photos of Liosliath from infancy to adulthood. Her joy in her family, in books and ideas and early tech (!), her love of animals, the glow of her humor and intelligence and tenderness are all there.

.
posted by taz (staff) at 12:03 PM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


.
posted by Harald74 at 12:10 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:18 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by DoubleLune at 12:20 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by dhruva at 12:25 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:27 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by mogget at 12:29 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by donnagirl at 12:32 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by DingoMutt at 12:36 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by asnider at 12:38 PM on May 2, 2013


Damn. Her username always stuck out to me (how could it not?); surprised to see she hadn't been active here more recently, as I assumed she'd always just, well, be around. Condolences to her loved ones.
posted by Len at 12:38 PM on May 2, 2013


Aww, man, I wrote her a little back and forth when my brother was thinking about teaching in Morocco.

For some reason, I thought that she'd been more active; it looks like her stuff ends in '08.
posted by klangklangston at 12:40 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by elmer benson at 12:42 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by needlegrrl at 12:45 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by kimberussell at 12:46 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by bilabial at 12:48 PM on May 2, 2013



posted by Cranberry at 1:01 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by xingcat at 1:04 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by burnmp3s at 1:16 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by jjray at 1:31 PM on May 2, 2013


I'm so sorry to hear it. I hadn't seen her name on here for awhile, but I definitely remember her contributions.
posted by small_ruminant at 1:34 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by blurker at 1:35 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by WidgetAlley at 1:41 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by epersonae at 1:42 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by nickmark at 1:43 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by SpiffyRob at 1:49 PM on May 2, 2013


I knew I recognized the name, then realized she was one of the people who gave me good hair advice almost 5 years ago. I went to click on the flickr link to see the pic...account is all gone. :(
posted by epersonae at 1:53 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by dg at 1:54 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by ambrosia at 1:54 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by peagood at 1:59 PM on May 2, 2013


Such horrible news.

.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 2:14 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Cash4Lead at 2:15 PM on May 2, 2013


.

So young - such sad news.
posted by leslies at 2:19 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by rtha at 2:20 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by homunculus at 2:22 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by marshmallow peep at 2:23 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by bearwife at 2:30 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Bangaioh at 2:32 PM on May 2, 2013


I am appalled to see that her death was apparently a domestic violence homicide.
posted by bearwife at 2:39 PM on May 2, 2013 [10 favorites]


.
posted by catchingsignals at 2:44 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by trunk muffins at 2:47 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by yeoz at 2:53 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by solotoro at 2:56 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by zoo at 2:57 PM on May 2, 2013


"Status: Taken." So sadly true.

.
posted by onlyconnect at 3:00 PM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


.

Horrible.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:21 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Brody's chum at 3:22 PM on May 2, 2013


I am appalled to see that her death was apparently a domestic violence homicide.

Fuck. That is just horrible.
posted by homunculus at 3:27 PM on May 2, 2013 [8 favorites]


.
posted by smoke at 3:38 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by jabo at 3:42 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by mazola at 3:59 PM on May 2, 2013


That article bearwife linked is just chilling. Awful.

.
posted by desjardins at 4:08 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by saturnine at 4:12 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:13 PM on May 2, 2013


Oh, that is heartbreaking. The way the obituary was phrased hinted at tragedy, but the details are hard to read.
posted by ambrosia at 4:14 PM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]


Jesus. May she have peace and justice.

.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:15 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


Absolutely tragic. My condolences to any and all who knew her.
posted by item at 4:17 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by goshling at 4:19 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by sonika at 4:26 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Dr. Zira at 4:28 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 4:38 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by HandfulOfDust at 4:44 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by dogrose at 4:51 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by motty at 4:53 PM on May 2, 2013


A tragedy.
posted by ColdChef at 4:53 PM on May 2, 2013


How sad. My condolences to her friends and family.
posted by BibiRose at 4:59 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 5:03 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by sarcasticah at 5:05 PM on May 2, 2013


What an awful, tragic end.
posted by ApathyGirl at 5:09 PM on May 2, 2013


I hadn't realized Liosliath lived so close to me; probably about a mile away. It hurts to think that this happens in our communities. I've called the cops to report my neighbors' violent arguments a few times and been unsure if I was doing the right thing. I don't feel better about it now, but I do feel more sure that this is what we need to do.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:15 PM on May 2, 2013 [11 favorites]


.
posted by purpleclover at 5:18 PM on May 2, 2013


Oh my god, I hope she finds peace.

.
posted by goo at 5:24 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by bizzyb at 5:53 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by liquorice at 6:11 PM on May 2, 2013


I am so sorry to hear this.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:12 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 6:15 PM on May 2, 2013


Horrible. I don't know what to say other than

.
posted by grouse at 6:29 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by tristeza at 6:30 PM on May 2, 2013


The Columbus Dispatch reported on the incident. Sad and grim news.
posted by humanfont at 6:32 PM on May 2, 2013


.

(This makes me feel sick to my stomach. How very horrible. )
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:36 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by gudrun at 6:40 PM on May 2, 2013


.

To any of Liosliath's family or loved ones who may see this thread, now or in the future: a single dot is the Metafilter equivalent of a moment of silence, a mark of respect and sorrow for a lost life. Our community joins you in sorrow for this tragic loss.
posted by Elsa at 6:42 PM on May 2, 2013 [26 favorites]


.
posted by NoraCharles at 6:50 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by marimeko at 6:50 PM on May 2, 2013


Oh no. :( How terrible. :(
posted by zarq at 6:56 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by travelwithcats at 7:00 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:01 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Frayed Knot at 7:08 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by trip and a half at 7:20 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by CancerMan at 7:30 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Mitheral at 7:30 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by bakerina at 7:33 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 7:36 PM on May 2, 2013


April really sucks this year. :(
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:40 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by humanfont at 7:46 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:49 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by jaruwaan at 7:51 PM on May 2, 2013


Like ChuraChura, I'm shocked to learn this happened so close to my home (about a mile from here; I also went to OSU and majored in International Studies, and I work about half a mile from the Nationwide HQ building.) I've given girls in town the number of the local domestic violence agency before; I wish she'd been in contact with them. So very sad and pointless.
posted by SMPA at 8:21 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by OsoMeaty at 8:25 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by mediareport at 8:39 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Kinbote at 8:43 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by verbyournouns at 9:10 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by gingerest at 9:21 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by en forme de poire at 9:22 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by maryr at 9:24 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Lexica at 9:35 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 9:38 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:42 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by LeLiLo at 9:51 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by R. Schlock at 9:58 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by cazoo at 9:59 PM on May 2, 2013


"Taken", indeed.

.
posted by rollbiz at 10:11 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by Joh at 10:29 PM on May 2, 2013


.
posted by daisyk at 11:19 PM on May 2, 2013


thank you jessamyn for posting this. it's been a tumultuous couple of weeks. myself, i barely took heed of the Boston event because of what happened to Liosliath here in Columbus. my name's Christian (or xtian) and i was her previous boyfriend from 2008-2012.
everyday. 4 years. ... i keep starting and stopping writing this ... i suppose a great deal of what i want to say i said here and here (short Tumblr posts). if you follow that 1st link, just a heads up, the funeral tribute is posted there, also. it kicks in automatically.

in the days following her murder one of my preoccupying thoughts was that i needed to let people that she knew and respected aware of what had happened. i wanted to make sure that as many of those people knew that she had been here and that she had exited the premises. she mattered. and MetaFilter was one of her activities that she liked the most. i can't tell you how many activities i was involved in only to find that someone on MetaFilter had suggested it or she had read about it here. i felt like she was processing information for me. she read everything she could get her hands on (and fast!), listened to NPR, and kept pace with her MeFi folks... and then told me what i needed to know.

if i could have retained a shred of the information she was carrying in that brain of hers i would be a hundred times the man i am now. as it is, the two first MeFi things she shared with me, that i can remember, are the snapping turtle that frequently climbed a chain link fence to access a person's swimming pool and the song "I Command You To Be My Woman" by a fellow MeFite. i don't know what that says about me. and yet one of my overriding thoughts when i heard of Liosliath's death was "how can i keep living in a world without Liosliath in it?" it's still difficult to understand.

so it should be pointed out that her MetaFilter activity did not end in 2008 as was previously suggested by someone in the thread. this site is so rich with information/data there was no way she would have given it up. she came up with the name Hopperfan at some point for more privacy. she may have even come up with another name, i don't know, just from the simple fact that she had shared her Hopperfan identity with me.

anyway, i just wanted to say thank you all of you MetaFilter members for being a part of her daily routine. through her divorce, the death of her father, the death of her cat LeRoi Brown, the loss of a job, the acquisition of other jobs, the acquisition of three more cats (Kaja, Kipling, and Otto), all of her trips to Morocco, all of her Arabic studies, through all of her up and downs with me, through all of her everyday ups and downs... you folks fulfilled a need for information and community that she couldn't really find anywhere else.

her three cats, which she adopted one by one while i lived with her, survived that Monday, April 15th and have been temporarily re-located to her brother's house. one cat, Kaja, remained in hiding within the apartment for almost 2 weeks. after searching, calling, luring, filming (minicam & motion sensors), and setting a live trap (which she ate the food out of without setting off the trap), i finally got lucky and found her hiding in the adjoining attic squeezed into the tiniest angle of the roof. IMMENSE RELIEF to recover her. i'm working on finding another apartment of my own where i can take them in again. they're like my kids and it's driving me crazy that i can't just >poof!< MONEY! APARTMENT! HAPPILY EVER AFTER! ...but i'm working on it. i want them very badly.

i forwarded a link to this thread to her brother so know that your comments and "."s are being seen and are very much appreciated by her family.
posted by swindlehorne at 11:43 PM on May 2, 2013 [83 favorites]


Thank you so much for posting, swindlehorne. This is a sad and terrible thing, and I think that the shock isn't going to wear off soon. I didn't know her well, but she was a fellow midwesterner, and there are precious few of us here as it is.

I have no meaningful words other than to express my dismay and rage at the senselessness of it all. My condolences to all affected by her loss.
posted by pjern at 11:55 PM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


swindlehorne, thank you for posting, and thank you for explaining the HopperFan link. I knew her very well as HopperFan and was always a little in awe of her wit and insight and knowledge. Hers is truly an irreplaceable voice.

My deepest condolences to you and Liosliath's loved ones. It is a terrible thing to lose such an incredible and vibrant woman at such a young age in the first place, and the circumstances just make it more senseless. If you or anyone else in her family find there is anything this community can do, even in the smallest way, to help you, I hope you'll lean on us. (And I hope you'll keep us posted on how things go with finding a new place so you can get settled with her cats.)
posted by scody at 12:10 AM on May 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


I am so terribly sad to hear this. I always noticed and was charmed by her username HopperFan (that's Grace Hopper she's referring to) and I always enjoyed her contributions. What a terrible loss. My deepest condolences to her family; to you, swindlehorne; and to all her friends.

.
posted by Westringia F. at 12:19 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Tsuga at 12:42 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by juv3nal at 1:07 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Monsieur Caution at 1:10 AM on May 3, 2013


Yeah, I remember a metatalk post from about five years ago that praised HopperFan for her kindness. She had offered to help a poster with their dental bill in honor of Soulbee.

.
posted by RichardP at 1:29 AM on May 3, 2013 [5 favorites]


Jesus. My sincere condolences to you, swindlehorne, and Liosliath's family and friends. This is awful awful news.

.
posted by Defying Gravity at 2:24 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by gomichild at 2:58 AM on May 3, 2013




.
posted by harriet vane at 3:19 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by halcyonday at 4:14 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Skorgu at 4:25 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by dayintoday at 4:44 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Zarkonnen at 4:48 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by chunking express at 5:10 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by rubbish bin night at 5:13 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by I am the Walrus at 5:24 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:36 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Doktor Zed at 5:37 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by box at 5:41 AM on May 3, 2013


.

Damn. It's not supposed to be like this.
posted by arcticseal at 5:52 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by penguin pie at 6:00 AM on May 3, 2013


.

We never had any contact, I just read her comments and questions on the site, but to me Hopperfan was Good People. Her last comment, in hindsight, was as heartbreaking as it gets.
posted by Ms. Next at 6:05 AM on May 3, 2013 [8 favorites]


Wish I hadn't read the how-it-happened link. Glad I clicked on this lovely picture of Leslie from swindlehorne's link above.

.
posted by marienbad at 6:08 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by spinturtle at 6:09 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by jquinby at 6:19 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by heyho at 6:40 AM on May 3, 2013


I didn't recognize the name Liosliath but I definitely recognized knew HopperFan. Wow. I really enjoyed her contributions. swindlehorne, I'm sorry for your loss, and Leslie's brother, my sympathies to you. What an awful thing to go so young and so suddenly.
posted by desjardins at 6:45 AM on May 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


swindlehorne, thank you so much for posting. I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. Like some other folks, I knew her best as HopperFan. This is so awful; what a stupid, stupid waste.
posted by rtha at 6:55 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Coaticass at 7:02 AM on May 3, 2013


swindlehorne, thank you for posting. I spent a few years in Gambier, and wonder if I ever saw Liosliath in person. I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:03 AM on May 3, 2013


Wow, that adds another dimension. Definitely remember HopperFan.
posted by sweetkid at 7:23 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Squeak Attack at 7:27 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:43 AM on May 3, 2013


So very, very sad.


.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:44 AM on May 3, 2013


swindlehorne, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us, and especially for letting us know about Liosliath's alter-ego. I knew her as Hopperfan. Heartfelt condolences for your loss.
posted by zarq at 7:53 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by tommasz at 8:10 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by halonine at 8:11 AM on May 3, 2013


I hope that the "deceased" moniker will be added to HopperFan's profile.

*cry*

.
posted by Melismata at 8:18 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by lydhre at 8:33 AM on May 3, 2013


.
It's a curious thing this mefi connection that hums away in our lives. You maybe don't have to say much or have great impact on many necessarily but you're still special to the mefi mix.
I didn't know Liosliath (although I knew both her usernames) but noone deserves to leave life in such a horrible way. Thanks for sharing Swindlehorne and my deepest sympathies to you and her family.
posted by peacay at 8:39 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by amyms at 8:48 AM on May 3, 2013


I'm glad that her being HopperFan got out here without me having to say it; once I found out that was her, I was even more sad but didn't want to violate her privacy by being the one to bring it up here.

She helped me when I broke my arm and leg, and I'm forever grateful. We sent a couple cards back and forth.
posted by klangklangston at 8:51 AM on May 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


HopperFan, too? She had so much to share. She shined a bright, bright light here. I think we will be discovering reflections of her here for many years to come. My heart goes out to all those who knew her and all who were touched by her.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:54 AM on May 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


.
posted by ook at 8:55 AM on May 3, 2013


I felt terrible before, but now that I know she was Hopperfan, I feel truly bereft. This is a tragic blow to this community as well as to her friends and family.

I know a few people have seen this comment she wrote in 2008, but thought I'd quote it again here.

"To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
~ Hallowed Ground, Thomas Campbell (1777-1844)"


She was, among other things, a master of using the perfect quotation.
posted by bearwife at 8:57 AM on May 3, 2013 [4 favorites]


.
posted by Mooski at 9:13 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by rmd1023 at 9:17 AM on May 3, 2013


Today's Questionable Content fits with some things people are saying in this discussion.
posted by Michele in California at 9:58 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


I didn't know her, but anyone whose cats included Darwin and Tort Reform was clearly an awesome person

This is exactly what I thought.

.
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:13 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by luckynerd at 10:27 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Acey at 10:29 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by jess at 10:43 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by SassHat at 11:01 AM on May 3, 2013


Wow that's rough. Oddly I was just a few days ago looking at a postcard HopperFan sent me a few years ago from Morocco. I don't really keep things on my desk other than current notes and such, but this postcard was tacked up right in the middle of my magnet board for the last 2 years or so until I had to pack up for a move. It was so cool that she sent those and put a little story on the back about what she was doing and what the picture was. She didn't know me one little bit except that I was from The Internet. That just made it more special to me.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts swindlehorne.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 11:22 AM on May 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


Truly heartbreaking.

.
posted by stoneweaver at 11:58 AM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by dlugoczaj at 12:08 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by oneironaut at 12:11 PM on May 3, 2013


Heartbreaking. I never got to know her well, but I always appreciated her comments here. Sincere condolences to her friends and family.
posted by vers at 12:14 PM on May 3, 2013


Clinging to the Wreckage: she LOVED that whole postcard-sending/getting-mail thing. she shared several with me as she got them. i also just thought of another highlight she mentioned-- it was some activity where someone here was writing/assembling a book, but they were creating it with items, letters, misc. things that people sent to him/her. maybe it was some kind of created fictitious history? anyway, she loved it and was thrilled to be included in that.
posted by swindlehorne at 12:28 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Majorita at 12:44 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by klausness at 12:57 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by mudpuppie at 1:03 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by edbles at 1:04 PM on May 3, 2013


Tragic news. My condolences go out to her family and friends.
posted by Julnyes at 1:25 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by RainyJay at 1:31 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by mosk at 1:41 PM on May 3, 2013


Holy crap, the updates bring this to a whole new level. As HopperFan, she sent me a postcard from Morocco.
posted by rollbiz at 1:50 PM on May 3, 2013


Like, for no reason except that she offered and I asked and she was a nice person.
posted by rollbiz at 1:51 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by bardophile at 2:18 PM on May 3, 2013


I had no idea she was Hopperfan, whose contributions I also appreciated very much. Looking through her history, I remember a huge percentage of her contributions, which is pretty rare for me. What a loss!
posted by small_ruminant at 2:39 PM on May 3, 2013


I also had no idea she was Hopperfan.

I am so very very very sorry. My condolences to you, Swindlehome, and to her family.

(And may you be able to find a new place for you and for her kitties very very soon.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 3:00 PM on May 3, 2013


I wish that I had known her.
.
posted by double block and bleed at 4:53 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by limeonaire at 4:57 PM on May 3, 2013


What a tragedy. Thank you so much for posting, Swindlehome. I am holding you and Lisoliath's family in my heart.

.
posted by apricot at 5:08 PM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by camyram at 5:16 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 5:23 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by spinifex23 at 6:36 PM on May 3, 2013


Count me among those who just read through her posts and definitely remembered her. This is so tragic and unfair. My heart breaks for her family and friends.

.
posted by amanda at 6:46 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:36 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by Zephyrial at 8:46 PM on May 3, 2013


.
posted by ottereroticist at 9:26 PM on May 3, 2013


Oh, fuck. She was really kind to me privately when I was sorting through the fallout from my own domestic violence nightmare. I'm so sorry for your loss, swindlehorne.
posted by bewilderbeast at 9:47 PM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is so awful. I am so sad.
posted by librarina at 11:02 PM on May 3, 2013


I definitely knew HopperFan, and I'm kinda shocked to see how few contributions she made that made such an impact on me.

I'm sorry. I'm helpless, clueless, and horrified. Everything else aside, she seems to have been the greatest cat-namer of all time.

.
posted by cmoj at 11:43 PM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


.
posted by dhartung at 3:48 AM on May 4, 2013


swindlehorne, thank you for writing this. The liosliath account went quiet around the time I joined MeFi so at first I didn't recall her well, unfortunately. However I knew her humour and insight quite well as Hopperfan, as did many others. Thousands who never got to meet her -- like me -- grieve with you. And as Ms. Next says, Leslie's final words on the site are devastating in light of what happened.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:05 AM on May 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


That final AskMe post/comment she made as Hopperfan is just chilling. Dammit, this sucks.

.
posted by MexicanYenta at 7:26 AM on May 4, 2013


.
posted by lemniskate at 8:04 AM on May 4, 2013


.
posted by Sphinx at 8:31 AM on May 4, 2013


.

My sincere condolences to her loved ones.
posted by missmerrymack at 11:36 AM on May 4, 2013


.
posted by wiskunde at 3:33 PM on May 4, 2013


.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 3:36 PM on May 4, 2013


.
posted by Chairboy at 4:01 PM on May 4, 2013


I just read and remembered HopperFan's last posted question. It made me forget to breathe. What a kind, kind woman.

.
posted by mochapickle at 4:08 PM on May 4, 2013 [2 favorites]


.
posted by quiet coyote at 4:43 PM on May 4, 2013


.
posted by quince at 4:47 PM on May 4, 2013


.
posted by simulacra at 7:24 PM on May 4, 2013


mefites should live forever.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:47 PM on May 4, 2013 [6 favorites]


.
posted by taff at 2:01 AM on May 5, 2013


.
posted by tarheelcoxn at 8:15 AM on May 5, 2013


.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:33 AM on May 5, 2013


.
posted by bitmage at 10:38 AM on May 5, 2013


.
posted by futureisunwritten at 11:16 AM on May 5, 2013


.
posted by scottymac at 12:18 PM on May 5, 2013


I just read and remembered HopperFan's last posted question. It made me forget to breathe. What a kind, kind woman.

Holy shit, I just read that.

"I should mention that her boyfriend doesn't seem particularly dangerous (just stupid and a drunk) ..."

Jesus fucking Christ, was she talking about herself?!
posted by Melismata at 4:04 PM on May 5, 2013 [4 favorites]


.
posted by hydropsyche at 4:04 PM on May 5, 2013


Shouldn't HopperFan's userpage have a death notice?
posted by languagehat at 5:32 PM on May 5, 2013


Thanks for the reminder. Added.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:51 PM on May 5, 2013


"I should mention that her boyfriend doesn't seem particularly dangerous (just stupid and a drunk) ..."

"Jesus fucking Christ, was she talking about herself?!

And to finish off her sentence....

"and if I did go over there, I'd be going with the full knowledge/assistance of my own sweet and kind boyfriend."


Oh god.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:55 PM on May 5, 2013


Status: Taken

That level of unintentional irony is completely unfair.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:51 PM on May 5, 2013


.
posted by cass at 9:16 PM on May 5, 2013


so, yeah, just to make it clear in case it is not clear --- Liosliath/Hopperfan was not talking about herself in her last post... though it is eerie.

i spoke to the woman Liosliath was trying to support several days after L had died while i was waiting to get inside to look for her cat, Kaja. i only spoke to the woman briefly, but she did say that she had cut ties with her "drunken, deadbeat boyfriend", in part because of this murder.
posted by swindlehorne at 9:49 PM on May 5, 2013 [8 favorites]


I just watched the rememberance video that KathrynT linked upthread and it broke my heart. I am so sorry for her family and friends. You could tell from her comments as Hopperfan that she had such kindness and substance, for her to be taken so young is just so so sad.
posted by onlyconnect at 10:02 PM on May 5, 2013


.
posted by Anything at 1:38 AM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by JHarris at 2:19 AM on May 6, 2013


Tragic, utterly tragic. My condolences for her family and friends.

.
posted by the cydonian at 3:20 AM on May 6, 2013


So sad.
posted by h00py at 4:36 AM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by pointystick at 5:31 AM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by Zonker at 6:25 AM on May 6, 2013


What a beautiful human, inside and out.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:30 AM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by initapplette at 10:31 AM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by ersatzkat at 10:46 AM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by cooker girl at 12:15 PM on May 6, 2013


Damn. I knew her as HopperFan and saw Liosliath from old posts while searching for reading. My deepest condolences to those that knew and loved her. She was kind, I always got that from her posts. Kindess is something that echoes and grows into a roar; a shout against the void. It is heard and acknowledged, even in passing.

.
posted by jadepearl at 1:06 PM on May 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


.

Truly awful.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 2:41 PM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by lunaazul at 4:06 PM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by spec80 at 4:17 PM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by immlass at 5:29 PM on May 6, 2013


.
posted by holgate at 6:17 PM on May 6, 2013


God fucking damn it.

This is the second person in my life lost to murder in as many weeks. Fuck.

I feel like I should tell our story.

bearwife linked it above, but I remember Liosliath was one of the many here who comforted me when I lost my friend Lexi (Soulbee to us here on MF) 5 years back. She was the 4th person to respond to the MeTa post I made on Lexi's behalf and she wasn't afraid to let others speak through their words the feelings I know she shared. I really found that thread so comforting when others started following her kind lead in sharing other quotes of theirs. It remains the most beautiful part of my personal Metafilter experience.

I knew her and communicated with her here pretty much exclusively under the HopperFan handle, from 2008 onwards.

She asked me for help early on in figuring out a new life direction - and did it in a way that made it sound like it was no big deal. She helped me plan my travels in Morocco in great detail and was really selfless in the effort she put into that. We'd check in from time to time with each other to see how her FSO testing was coming along, relationships the other person was in, etc. etc..

I also knew that she was also friends with Lexi directly, and Lexi helped her process a lot when she lost her dad. Then when we lost Lexi, she shared this with me:

"So, I just wanted to say - and maybe this is weird - that soulbee, or the words she left here, have been a great comfort to me. I've been doing a lot of thinking about grief, life, time, art, etc... All stuff she touched upon at one point or another. I like reading what she wrote, and I also appreciate what people said to her in return. I hope she knows - I think she does. "

I think the same applies a lot to Liosliath herself. We dropped off of communicating on Metafilter over time but kept up with each other's lives via Facebook. But on FB, here on MF, and anywhere else I had contact with her, she always struck me as the type of person who wanted to help other people, and as far as I'm concerned, those are the best types of people (you need only to peruse her AskMe history to confirm this in spades). And those truly concerned with it - that make a lifelong passion of caring for others - are so few and far between.

This is incomplete and incoherent and a paltry failing attempt to describe a friendship that I largely took for granted, I truly wish I could do her better tribute than this. I believe there is a reason for everything and so I have to believe there is a reason she was taken from us, but I don't have to like it.

I can be fucking furious about it and that's what I am right now. Furious and deeply sorrowful for her friends and family.

Thanks for letting us know.
posted by allkindsoftime at 10:23 PM on May 6, 2013 [24 favorites]


.
posted by fraula at 7:26 AM on May 7, 2013


.
posted by papafrita at 1:37 PM on May 7, 2013


.
posted by MeiraV at 4:12 PM on May 7, 2013


I just realized why her full name Liosliath (Leslie) Manner sounded so familiar to me. It's because, for whatever reason, LinkedIn has been suggesting her as a contact for weeks. It's really to see it now.
posted by grouse at 4:38 PM on May 7, 2013


FYI: Form: Verification of Death for LinkedIn requires use of an e-mail registered to the user.
posted by dhartung at 1:11 AM on May 8, 2013


.
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:36 AM on May 8, 2013


God, no. This is so horrible. Rest in peace, my friend.
posted by Protocols of the Elders of Sockpuppetry at 9:14 PM on May 8, 2013


So tragic...words fail.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:40 PM on May 8, 2013


I just want to chime in and say that I only knew her from seeing posts as HopperFan, but the MetaFilter community was lucky to have someone so positive and caring as her with us.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:03 AM on May 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


.
posted by MuffinMan at 3:35 AM on May 10, 2013


.
posted by nelljie at 10:48 PM on May 12, 2013


.
posted by exlotuseater at 8:39 PM on May 13, 2013


« Older It seems that any interesting ...  |  Tweeted by User Number One him... Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments

Post