The highest form of flattery? July 9, 2013 4:15 PM   Subscribe

Buzzfeed has long been notorious for "repurposing" advice/tips/jokes/memes from sites like reddit, and now they've come for our wisdom: relationship hacks from this "classic" thread.
posted by lunasol to MetaFilter-Related at 4:15 PM (88 comments total)

FWIW, the highest form of flattery is being told you're a pretty funny guy by Tommy Chong.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:17 PM on July 9, 2013 [11 favorites]


Nope, the highest form of flattery is having Chris Hadfield record a nice message about you from space.
posted by jacalata at 4:20 PM on July 9, 2013 [9 favorites]


Think you've received the "highest" form of flattery? Don't be so sure until you've read the 14 Highest Forms of Flattery ever discussed!
posted by m@f at 4:22 PM on July 9, 2013 [32 favorites]


5. Use gift-giving occasions as an opportunity to encourage your partner to try something new.

Pushing each other in awesome new directions can be one of the most satisfying things about being in a relationship. Use holidays and birthdays to the effect by buying your partner things like classes, tools, instruments, and other things that will help them broaden their horizons and let them know you believe in them.


This one is so clearly about pegging that they might as well just call it THIS ONE IS ABOUT PEGGING.
posted by elizardbits at 4:25 PM on July 9, 2013 [53 favorites]


"Hey babe, I went out and bought us some classes! I did this to let you know I believe in you. Anyway I would like to try pegging."
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 4:28 PM on July 9, 2013 [38 favorites]


"HERE ARE THE INSTRUMENTS"
posted by elizardbits at 4:34 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


oh i just looked up pegging
posted by brina at 4:36 PM on July 9, 2013 [25 favorites]


"Oh and here are some other things that will help you broaden your horizons IF YOU GET MY DRIFT (I AM TALKING ABOUT BUTTS)"
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 4:37 PM on July 9, 2013 [9 favorites]


also you can use birthdays and holidays to this effect! now you know what to get that special someone for Martinmas!
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 4:39 PM on July 9, 2013


might i strongly suggest a feeldoe. fun even if you don't want to peg and just want to dance around with a cock while you do the dishes!

wait, what are we talking about?
posted by nadawi at 4:45 PM on July 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THAT THREAD UNTIL NOW. I COULD HAVE SAVED MYSELF A HELL OF A LOT OF THERAPIST COPAYS.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 4:55 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Speaking of butts, I'm very disappointed that they didn't use mine. :(
posted by Jacqueline at 5:02 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


buying your partner things like classes, tools, instruments, and other things

Snap-on tools lol
posted by octobersurprise at 5:09 PM on July 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


My guiltiest internet pleasure these days is buzzfeed. Even knowing as I do what a manipulative and corporate-sponsored button-pushing dystopian nightmare it is, I still peruse it when I want to turn my brain off.

I feel better having confessed.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:10 PM on July 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


I really thought/hoped it was going to be this thread.
posted by kagredon at 5:24 PM on July 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


It really astounds me that someone probably got paid for that.
posted by troika at 5:30 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


And they haven't made a listicle about how to dispose of a body?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:41 PM on July 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Why haven't any of you pegging advocates favorited octobersurprise's comment yet? Sheesh!
posted by MexicanYenta at 6:09 PM on July 9, 2013


Here's an archived link for kagredon's linked post, but sadly, the comments didn't get saved.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:18 PM on July 9, 2013


buzzfeed is the worst.
posted by something something at 6:27 PM on July 9, 2013



buzzfeed is the worst.


its Cracked without the intellect

i prefer Feedbuzz

i wonder how many MeFites moonlight as writers for Thought Catalog
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:47 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


First they came for our wisdom, and I said nothing because I have none.
posted by kiltedtaco at 6:54 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Then they came for pegging
--and there was no one left to peg for me.
posted by Think_Long at 7:20 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's me, dragging metafilter down, one peg at a time.
posted by Think_Long at 7:21 PM on July 9, 2013


i've always found pegging to involve reaching new heights, not dragging down...ymmv.
posted by nadawi at 7:22 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I enjoy Buzzfeed:-) the animals tagged ones get me out of bed in the morning.
posted by discopolo at 7:31 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


oh i just looked up pegging

this is my design
posted by elizardbits at 8:19 PM on July 9, 2013 [20 favorites]


MexicanYenta: "Why haven't any of you pegging advocates favorited octobersurprise's comment yet? Sheesh!"

Because we're trying to figure out how to tell our partners that we're really into Matco.
posted by stet at 8:28 PM on July 9, 2013


HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THAT THREAD UNTIL NOW. I COULD HAVE SAVED MYSELF A HELL OF A LOT OF THERAPIST COPAYS.

Yes, but now you also know about pegging, and that path on the flowchart similarly leads to the therapist's office.
posted by drlith at 8:40 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]



might i strongly suggest a feeldoe. fun even if you don't want to peg and just want to dance around with a cock while you do the dishes!


Or to take to work meetings and plonk down pointedly on the table in front of you so that all the menz can see you have a penis too and actually listen to what you say for once.

Or is that just my workplace?
posted by lollusc at 9:17 PM on July 9, 2013


what's a feeldoe? is that some tumblr thing?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 9:31 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


what's a feeldoe? is that some tumblr thing?

probably something to do with Hannibal fandom, they're into some weird shit especially pertaining to deer
posted by kagredon at 9:36 PM on July 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


We should make so much money off turning EVERY Ask into a listicle!!

the 10 wackiest slim iPhone 5 cases translucent enough to see the two tone back and Apple logo

16 signs that you might be interviewing for a sales position with a company that makes an assessment and training tool to help at-risk middle and high school students be more successful in school, and need to be prepared to present a 90-day plan

8 things you didn't know about aegyosal, the bag directly under the eyes that particularly interests Koreans

12 immediate first steps if you need to get a new prescription for the pill but the GYN who's been prescribing it can no longer do so
posted by threeants at 9:45 PM on July 9, 2013 [21 favorites]


15 things that obscure Sci-Fi story you're looking for isn't.
posted by Artw at 10:25 PM on July 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


/googles feeldoe.

Well now I know a new thing.
posted by Artw at 10:27 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


what's a feeldoe? is that some tumblr thing?

I'm sure it's on some tumblr somewhere.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 10:28 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I don't know if we can really point to Tumblr as our go-to for "sex!" anymore, we went from "Buzzfeed's skimming AskMe again" to "pegging" in 4 comments
posted by kagredon at 10:30 PM on July 9, 2013 [7 favorites]


16 Concerned Responses that you Should See a Doctor Now'!
posted by Artw at 10:38 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


/googles feeldoe.

Well now I know a new thing.


holy shit that's.. yeah. when did MeFi get so filthy?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:59 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


69 times people have asked When Did Mefi Get So $xxx
posted by jacalata at 11:20 PM on July 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Get your MeFi so sexy with this one weird tip the moderators don't want you to know!
posted by Artw at 11:38 PM on July 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


also, 'relationship hacks'? really? that's how we're using language now?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 1:04 AM on July 10, 2013


Where I come from, "pegging" is hilariously attaching clothes pegs to friends' clothing without them noticing. I have a conversation on my Facebook right now over how pegging strangers on a bus is probably a step too far.

Now I want to get elizardbits a bag of clothes pegs for her birthday.
posted by emilyw at 1:20 AM on July 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Swap all the halves around so each one is a unique pair of colours, just in case she's one of those people who has to make both pegs on each shirt the same colour.
posted by flabdablet at 1:38 AM on July 10, 2013


Swap all the halves around

I thought this was how the *other* pegging worked.
posted by dhartung at 2:12 AM on July 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


also, 'relationship hacks'? really? that's how we're using language now?

Moscow hacks cruise hacks beanplating hacks money hacks fear hacks tubing hacks slipper hacks audience hacks sex hacks communications hacks skiing hacks hospital hacks cinema hacks baby hacks it's hacks all the way down.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:24 AM on July 10, 2013


Addendum: when I was a lad, "hacks" meant something else so maybe when people talk about "relationship hacks" I'll start imagining they've installed some sort of "romance aimbot" that auto-compliments their SO without them having to aim, and gets perfect no-look gift-selection headshots every time.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:28 AM on July 10, 2013


Eh, feeldoes are for n00bs. The Hammer (NSFW) is where it's at.
posted by fight or flight at 3:10 AM on July 10, 2013 [3 favorites]

I just hacked my ham sandwich by adding brown mustard! A jawdropping feat of breadcraft!

This mechanical pencil? Also a zit-popper. Hackery!

Yesterday on the bus I was a little sleepy so I wadded up my coat and used it as a pillow! Hackariffic!

That ham sandwich I mentioned before the jump? Gave me heartburn! So I hacked my wetware with a Pepcid AC! Jawdropping!
posted by Ratio at 19:41 on December 27, 2009
posted by metaBugs at 4:25 AM on July 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Buzzfeed? Bunch of hacks.
posted by box at 5:24 AM on July 10, 2013


pegging/it will come back to you
pegging/it will come back to you
then the shutter falls
you see it all in 3-D
it's your favorite foreign movie
posted by mintcake! at 5:54 AM on July 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


also they should have used my 'top 15 tips to keep your vintage .jpgs from yellowing'
posted by mintcake! at 5:55 AM on July 10, 2013


also, 'relationship hacks'? really? that's how we're usinghacking language now?

FTFY
posted by solotoro at 6:11 AM on July 10, 2013


the hammer is AWESOME! i see feeldoe's founder is in there pointing out that they used a feeldoe as the base/model. i hope they get a new design and bring it to market! although, i'd probably be so impressed with myself i'd try to find ways to show it off, which seems like it could lead to jail time.


/googles feeldoe.

Well now I know a new thing.

holy shit that's.. yeah. when did MeFi get so filthy?


ha! what did you think you were going to find with a description like, "might i strongly suggest a feeldoe. fun even if you don't want to peg and just want to dance around with a cock while you do the dishes!"
posted by nadawi at 6:13 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Never has a NSFW term been so tempting to google at work. Whatever could it mean?
posted by Think_Long at 6:22 AM on July 10, 2013


I don't know but I'm going to be thinking about it until I get a chance to look it up on my phone at lunch.
posted by Aizkolari at 6:36 AM on July 10, 2013


pegging is when a lady has sex with a guys butt with a strap on

I figure elizardbits is still asleep.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:39 AM on July 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Alternatively, a feeldoe is a double-ended dildo meant to be used instead of a strap on. It is an impressive feat of sexual engineering, to be honest.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:43 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


i'd probably be so impressed with myself i'd try to find ways to show it off, which seems like it could lead to jail time.

I'd spend at least 90% of the time making lightsaber noises and swinging it around.
posted by fight or flight at 6:50 AM on July 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Wait until they run a "15 things you can do with a banjo" article.
posted by arcticseal at 6:58 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


i'd never considered describing the feeldoe as a double ended dildo, but i suppose that is technically correct.
posted by nadawi at 7:00 AM on July 10, 2013


Yeah, double-ended dildo doesn't really do it justice.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:02 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Elementary Penguin is now the resident mefi sex ed instructor.
posted by Think_Long at 7:02 AM on July 10, 2013


Metafilter: double-ended dildo doesn't really do it justice.

God dammit I can't resist
posted by Think_Long at 7:03 AM on July 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Now I wonder whether it would be considered impolite to secretly attach clothes pegs to guys' clothing during sex.

I guess it's impolite to audibly stifle giggles during sex, which pretty much answers the question.
posted by emilyw at 7:20 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


i had an ex who had a pretty strict no laughing during sex rule. that's why my ex is my ex and my husband is my husband. if we don't giggle at least twice, we didn't do it right.
posted by nadawi at 7:27 AM on July 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Here's hoping they do this thread next.
posted by Artw at 7:29 AM on July 10, 2013


oh crap, I obviously need a lot more practice. now where are those clothes pegs?
posted by emilyw at 7:39 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Now I wonder whether it would be considered impolite to secretly attach clothes pegs to guys' clothing during sex.

Oh no no no, you don't attach the pegs to their CLOTHING during sex. You attach them to their nipples!
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:32 AM on July 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Attaching clothes pegs to someone's nipples without them noticing is several levels ahead of me in the bedroom skills department. But if anyone here manages it they should be given some kind of award, like a giant golden clothes peg for the mantelpiece or something.
posted by emilyw at 8:51 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Thank you for Thought Catalog.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 9:01 AM on July 10, 2013


Clothespins shouldn't be placed on the nipples but on the aureoles, technically. I'm usually not pedantic about things but I'd hate to think someone out there gets the idea to try it and makes the same mistake I made as a dumbass teenager.*

*Unless you are trying to launch the other person thirty feet in the air without the use of rocket fuel, in which case go ahead.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 9:52 AM on July 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Elementary Penguin is now the resident mefi sex ed instructor.

I now want to see a sex ed comic with a little penguin doing basic how-to demos.
posted by pointystick at 10:03 AM on July 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


Clothespins shouldn't be placed on the nipples but on the aureoles, technically.

Hey, different strokes for different folks and by 'strokes' I mean 'searing nipple pain'
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:06 AM on July 10, 2013


I'm not sure a penguin can top the Anal Safety Snails.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 10:29 AM on July 10, 2013


BuzzFeed is one of my favorite web sites. Its strategy of perfecting the mindless waste time shit in order to make money to fund actual journalism is sort of beautiful, and it is surprisingly efficient at coming up with things exactly stupid enough that I'll waste time reading them.

Thought Catalogue, on the other hand, is painfully precious. It's surprisingly high-quality, but all of its stories are so navelgazing they'd make Woody Allen cringe. I find myself liking a lot of it but resenting myself for liking it.
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:47 AM on July 10, 2013


The secret of a happy marriage: no ifs and no butts.
posted by MuffinMan at 10:55 AM on July 10, 2013


It really astounds me that someone probably got paid for that.

If it helps, they probably didn't get paid very much.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 1:00 PM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure a penguin can top the Anal Safety Snails

Depends, are the snails into it?
posted by arcticseal at 1:37 PM on July 10, 2013 [2 favorites]

metafilter.com readers just made 15 Long-Term Relationship Hacks hotter about 3 hours ago
posted by Room 641-A at 3:23 PM on July 10, 2013



Thank you for Thought Catalog.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 4:01 AM on July 11 [+][!]


The sad thing is, that site isn't a parody.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:34 PM on July 10, 2013


the 15 appropriatest gifts to bring along when visiting the house of someone you don't know to see a Cool Thing that's relevant to your interests at the behest of a third-party acquaintance!

3 crazy Asian games with around 10 people for each team, but unlike soccer players, seem to use only their hands to pass the ball, and they can't kick it or dribble it, but they can bounce it to each other or into the goal, where the ball itself is maybe about the size of a small volleyball!

the 10 most awesome neighborhoods of Houston for Norwegians to stay in!

8 perfect $200-and-under Scotches for someone who has done you a series of nice, nice favors and likes Laphroaig!
posted by threeants at 6:20 PM on July 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


my god, BuzzkMeed literally writes itself. we could make MILLIONS
posted by threeants at 6:21 PM on July 10, 2013


According to Et Tu, Mr Destructo?'s feed,

"Someone made a listicle compiling all of Buzzfeed's trite listicles for the year. Buzzfeed deleted it, and then started classin' up the response process. Here's the biggest jerkoff comment on the internet for the next 24 hours

Andrew KaczynskiVerified account ‏@BuzzFeedAndrew

How's this for a listicle: 60 million unique visitors who didn't see your snarky buzzfeed thought piece.

posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 11:05 PM on July 10, 2013


Did you know that admitting you're wrong makes you look weak and will ruin your relationship?

Neither did I, until I read the comments. I hate everything.
posted by naoko at 6:53 PM on July 11, 2013


I'm not sure a penguin can top the Anal Safety Snails

I was really concerned because that link was the color that indicates I'd already clicked, and then I realized your link was to this page. So I'm relieved but still don't know what the snails had to say.
posted by dubold at 8:35 PM on July 11, 2013 [5 favorites]


Oh for the love of…

Anal Safety Snails

Who is the official MeFi Remedial HTML instructor?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 2:42 AM on July 12, 2013


Me!

No, it's not me I lied and I'm sorry about that but I had a strong impulse to shoot up mah hand you know how that goes.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:27 AM on July 12, 2013


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