Who is quonsar?

August 10, 2003 7:54 PM

Please excuse my newbie question:

Who is quonsar? And why is he always referred on so many MeFi posts?
posted by ruwan to Etiquette/Policy at 7:54 PM (45 comments total)

Uh oh.
posted by dg at 7:58 PM on August 10, 2003

Boy: Do not try and know the Quonsar. That's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.
Ruwan: What truth?
Boy: There is no Quonsar.
posted by Jimbob at 7:59 PM on August 10, 2003 [1 favorite]

Uh oh, indeed.

Some friendly advice, ruwan. Read the site. Lurk for a while before posting. Try searching a little. I hear there's this cool search engine called Google! You might want to give that a blast. In these ways, you can avoid making too much of an ass of yourself.

Look at it this way, though - you only have about 17000 more 'so who is user X' questions to go before you run out of possibilities!

And now, for free : quonsar is a crotchety old man with a reportedly stratospheric IQ, who intersperses his almost continual one-liner snarks with the occasional lengthy and well-though-out and invariably lower-case post. He is reputed to have a heart of gold, but will bite your fucking head off if you annoy him. He is much loved by many, despite his faults, although because he is a trickster, there are some who see in him the Metafilter that is lowest-common-denominator, and dislike him as a result. He has one of the lower user numbers, which means only that he's been around since the first 6 months of the site or so. He loathes GWB, and is not afraid to tell us about. Frequently. But so do I, so I'm cool with that. He is the primary meepzorp in the blortosphere.

Now go lurk for a while, OK?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:21 PM on August 10, 2003

Now go lurk for a while, OK?

Sorry, that was not nice. Participate in the site, please, freely and wholeheartedly. That's what makes MeFi MeFi, and I'd be wrong to tell you to do otherwise. I welcome your newbie voice to the site - newbie or not, it shouldn't matter here.

But please with the easily-answered-through-5-minutes-of-research questions, huh?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:25 PM on August 10, 2003

Just wait until he hears about Miguel.
posted by eyeballkid at 8:29 PM on August 10, 2003

ruwan, don't you read the other comments in threads you post to? It seems that quonsar has commented in lots of threads that you've commented in, like this one.

Now that I think of it, quonsar posts in every thread! Sheesh how could you miss him? He's everywhere ;)
posted by iconomy at 8:39 PM on August 10, 2003

Tip for ruwan: clicking on the user name under each comment will take you to the profile for that user. Make sure there are no children about before clicking on quonsar's, though.
posted by dg at 8:43 PM on August 10, 2003

What the wonderbird said.
Search and ye shall find the quonsar. (much of this is NSFNewbies, Republicans, Virgins, Vegans, TV Watchers, Bunnies, Purists, Puritans, Ideologists, Idealists, Web Standards Types, Script Kiddies, or CHF patients)

But, stav, about the "crotchety old" reference: q admits to being just under 50, like me. For both of us, the word "decrepit" fits much better than "old".
posted by wendell at 8:43 PM on August 10, 2003

Just wait until he hears about Miguel.

Didn't everybody get assigned mandatory Cardoso on their Summer Reading List for High School? Didn't everybody get the Cliff Notes when they realized they couldn't read portugese?
posted by Stan Chin at 8:45 PM on August 10, 2003

q admits to being just under 50, like me. For both of us, the word "decrepit" fits much better than "old".

Heh. Sorry wendell. No offense - at just under 40, I like to think of myself as a 'crotchety old man' too, even if I do have the bouncy good looks and sterling liver function of someone at least 2 months younger.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:54 PM on August 10, 2003

quonsar, n : an extremely intense interrogative very far away.
posted by wobh at 9:12 PM on August 10, 2003

What a buncha old farts. Isn't it time you all quit with all the socialist crapola and joined the Republican Party? I mean, seriously, it's just unseemly, all this hippie foolishness :D

Oh, Ruwan? Quonsar is like Clavdivs, only less Shonen and more Knife.
posted by UncleFes at 9:39 PM on August 10, 2003

a quick scan of the metatalk front page confirms a nightmarish scenario has somehow infiltrated and taken control of the already-in-progress bad dream of my life. indeed, a horror of unspeakable retromingence besoaks upon me an elephantine perfume:

i am the new miguel.

i need a drink.
and a portuguese hooker.
and that's all i need.
just a drink, a hooker and this laptop. and this gameboy, the drink, the hooker, the laptop and the gameboy and that's all I need. and this wifi card. the drink, the hooker, the laptop, the gameboy, and the wifi card, and that's all I need.

admit it ruwan. you did this to torture minya.
posted by quonsar at 10:05 PM on August 10, 2003 [1 favorite]

quonsar? Isn't he that young pup who's always posting foolishness? Nothin' wrong with him that a grandchild or two won't cure!
posted by timeistight at 10:19 PM on August 10, 2003

I learned a new word today:

\Re`tro*min"gent\, a. [Pref. retro- + L. mingens, p. pr. of mingere to urinate.] Organized so as to discharge the urine backward. -- n. (Zo["o]l.) An animal that discharges its urine backward.
posted by homunculus at 10:20 PM on August 10, 2003

jesus h on pogo stick. 3455 comment on mefi?

I have a new theory. Qounsar is a group of people that have a list of rules taped above their monitors...well one rule, really:

Be snarky

And they each login at their different, appointed times each day to "be" quonsar for a couple hours.

sheesh. that's a big number.
posted by jaded at 10:21 PM on August 10, 2003

Isn't your nick jaded? Why are you surprised? Live up to your nick man!
posted by riffola at 10:25 PM on August 10, 2003

Exceptional!
posted by The God Complex at 11:03 PM on August 10, 2003

I thought Miguel was the new quonsar.
posted by skyscraper at 11:08 PM on August 10, 2003

quonsar is god. he built YOU. yes, you.
posted by Hackworth at 12:27 PM PST on October 20

posted by taz at 11:25 PM on August 10, 2003

Quonsar Quonsar Quonsar


Actually, I just Quonsar to Quonsar Quonsar
posted by fvw at 11:27 PM on August 10, 2003

sometimes a picture speaks a thousand words...

this really works best with safe-search set to "moderate", though sfw? no, not so much.
posted by taz at 11:51 PM on August 10, 2003

quonsar burns in his tank.

This will all end in fire.
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:58 PM on August 10, 2003

Quonsar.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 12:24 AM on August 11, 2003

quonsar's yo' momma
posted by i_cola at 4:29 AM on August 11, 2003

Well, quonsar (note lowercase q) coined and popularized the term blogosphere. He also devised the revolutionary permalink.
posted by tss at 4:57 AM on August 11, 2003 [1 favorite]

I still invented Post-it notes.
posted by angry modem at 8:11 AM on August 11, 2003

I actually have this one figured out...

• quonsar lives in the Grand Rapids, Michigan area
• Grand Rapids is the home of (and basically owes its fortunes to) Amway, the multi-billion dollar quasi-pyramid scheme nutritional supplement organization formed by die-hard religious conservatives Richard DeVos and Jay Van Andel
• Amway now goes by the name Quixtar
• The word "Quixtar" bears a startling resemblance to "quonsar"

Based on this, one can only conclude that quonsar is, in fact, a high-ranking executive in the Amway/Quixtar organization. Indeed, it's very likely quonsar is either Richard DeVos or Jay Van Andel, which would make him the world's 236th or 278th richest person, respectively.
posted by pardonyou? at 8:38 AM on August 11, 2003 [1 favorite]

ruwan, the first rule of MetaFiler is... you do not talk about quonsar...
posted by JollyWanker at 9:45 AM on August 11, 2003

I invented pie.
posted by thunder at 12:01 PM on August 11, 2003

Are you Quonsar or not?
posted by none at 1:47 PM on August 11, 2003

ach. very good, none! try this one.
posted by taz at 3:21 PM on August 11, 2003

I am Spartacus!
posted by scody at 3:33 PM on August 11, 2003

Would you people just give quonsar a private moment of joy?
posted by Wulfgar! at 4:03 PM on August 11, 2003

Quonsar?
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:48 PM on August 11, 2003

*carefully packs and ships to quonsar inc. the drink, the hooker, the laptop, the gameboy, and the wifi card, glad he read the list twice, as it was a Portuguese hookah in the original package*
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:07 PM on August 11, 2003

The quonsarity of the quonsar is ineffable.
posted by smrtsch at 7:42 PM on August 11, 2003

Miguel, I hope you included in that package to quonsar your plaque with "MetaFilter#1 Whipping Boy" on it, 'cause I think mr. q has stolen that title from you (and it's gonna take more than a MetaTalk post about MetaFilter characters in your novel to get it back).
posted by wendell at 9:30 PM on August 11, 2003

wendell! Do you dare tempt the fates? Have you not heard of the irresistable Cardosan force and the immovable Meepzorpian object?
posted by scody at 10:15 PM on August 11, 2003

The fates squashed me flatter than a Kansascake a long time ago... (it's actually a better method for permanent weight loss than Atkins)
posted by wendell at 12:56 AM on August 12, 2003

quonsar, and I quonsar quonsar.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 1:19 PM on August 12, 2003

Malquonsarvich!
posted by wendell at 1:31 PM on August 12, 2003

< !-- insert witty comment here -->
posted by shadow45 at 11:14 PM on August 16, 2003

hello! i am tab a! would you by any chance happen to be slot b?
posted by quonsar at 2:28 AM on August 17, 2003

quonsar is latin for "many posts"
posted by Macboy at 9:21 AM on August 19, 2003