Stop referring to yourself in the third person, buttwipe.

March 30, 2005 4:21 AM

Stop referring to yourself in the third person, buttwipe.

Unless you're Ricky Henderson. And if you are, prove it. And if you prove it, my sincere apologies because I do believe that you (and only you) are entitled to do that.
posted by Mayor Curley to Etiquette/Policy at 4:21 AM (124 comments total)

Hey man, it mixes things up.

"You know you wanna fuck tweak. I'd fuck tweak."

See? See how much weirder it makes it sound? o_O;

Also, WEIRD.
posted by tweak at 4:26 AM on March 30, 2005

It's too easy to get called out these days.
posted by dabitch at 4:30 AM on March 30, 2005

I think he should have an enforced name change to igotmynamechangedbecauseikeptreferingtomyselfinthethirdperson.

After he's typed that out a few times I think the novelty might wear off.
posted by dodgygeezer at 4:36 AM on March 30, 2005

"De gustibus non est disputatum"

I enjoy Mayor Curley's autorial voice, and quonsar's well-placed irreverence, and even (because it seems like a self-parody) Steve_at_Linnwood's.

But I wouldn't want every comment to sound like Mayor Curley or quonsar, or god forfend, Steve_at_Linnwood's (although that last is approximated at other sites.)

Let's let "Berek" develop Berek's own autorial voice -- and if Berek's style is third person Bob Dole-ative, well, while that wouldn't be my choice, at least it's distinctively Berek's. Calling people out for their style -- even if that style sucks -- is just not what we should be doing here.

Unless you're parodying the call-out of thomcatspike's inimitable style?
posted by orthogonality at 4:42 AM on March 30, 2005

nthdegx agrees with this call out.
posted by nthdegx at 4:45 AM on March 30, 2005

Jimmy likes Elaine.
posted by veedubya at 5:12 AM on March 30, 2005

greasy's been watchin' berek, greasy doesn't like it...
posted by greasy_skillet at 5:26 AM on March 30, 2005

Stop referring to other people as 'buttwipe'. Please.

What is this, a bus ride home in the 6th grade?

I'm getting so tired of people getting annoyed and taking that a a sign that they can be rude.
posted by Dagobert at 5:32 AM on March 30, 2005

The Swan finds this thread to be silly.
posted by orange swan at 5:37 AM on March 30, 2005

Read my mind-- I was just thinking of bringing this to MeTa as I saw the post. Reading through his comments is interesting and reveals a more particular style than just 3rd person narration. Discussion ranges from sensible political wisdom, to random crude comments, to lamenting MetaFilter's demise.
posted by themadjuggler at 5:39 AM on March 30, 2005

I think I'm just going to start refering to other people in the first person. That will confuse everybody. By the way, I agree with what I said earlier, but totally disagree with what I said up above.
posted by Bugbread at 5:40 AM on March 30, 2005

After he's typed that out a few times I think the novelty might wear off.
seanyboy thinks about how you could use hotkey style programs to amusingly circumvent this particular punishment.
posted by seanyboy at 5:46 AM on March 30, 2005

Discussion ranges from sensible political wisdom, to random crude comments, to lamenting MetaFilter's demise.
So, pretty much the same as everbody then. (sorry bugbread, that should be - "pretty much the same as me then.")
posted by seanyboy at 5:47 AM on March 30, 2005

Stop referring to other people as 'buttwipe'. Please.

What is this, a bus ride home in the 6th grade?

I was making an allusion to late childhood, yes. But did you read the lazy trolling linked in "buttwipe"?
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:51 AM on March 30, 2005

did you read the lazy trolling linked in "buttwipe"?

Things to Do:

- Pick up laundry
- drop off the cat
- read the lazy trolling linked in "buttwipe"
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 6:24 AM on March 30, 2005

So, pretty much the same as everbody then.

I guess I was too politically correct in summing things up. Mostly baseless attacks on the state of MetaFilter from someone who hasn't been here that long, frequent terse and inflammatory trolling, yet every 20 comments or so, a serious and thoughtful political response. Almost all of that is in a pretty self-important third-person voice (I'm trying to be objective and not too snarky here).

Maybe I'm biased-- his response to one of my posts on AskMe was: UM, is it just me, or does this question strike anyone else as utterly ridiculious?
posted by themadjuggler at 6:26 AM on March 30, 2005

Is it just Bevets, or is God the Almighty One and evolution just speculative pseudo-theory?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:30 AM on March 30, 2005

bugbread writes "I think I'm just going to start refering to other people in the first person. That will confuse everybody. By the way, I agree with what I said earlier, but totally disagree with what I said up above."

Excellent. I don't understand it, you're confused, or I am, but excellent.
posted by OmieWise at 6:37 AM on March 30, 2005

We hereby declare April 1, "Third-Person Day".
We can do that because we are omnipotent.
Weeeeee!!!!!!!
posted by mischief at 6:39 AM on March 30, 2005

But did you read the lazy trolling linked in "buttwipe"?

Why, yes, I did, in fact. Calling people grade school names is still stupider than mindless mac/PC trolling.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:41 AM on March 30, 2005

So a buddy of mine got called "B-Dog" by a panhandler once, and all of a sudden he's like "B-Dog this" and "B-Dog that" and "B-Dog be doin' it on the paper." Somebody called him "B-Dawg" once in conversation and B-Dog went all Regency on his ass and called him out to the duelling grounds and shit and said "B-Dog ain't no DAWG, dog. Dig?"

I had to respect him for his strong moral stance.
posted by Floydd at 6:45 AM on March 30, 2005

Stop referring to yourself in the third person, buttwipe.

Unless you're Ricky Henderson.

Always nice to see "Rickey Henderson," and "buttwipe," in the same sentence.

/Mets fan.
posted by jonmc at 6:47 AM on March 30, 2005

This is silly.
posted by caddis at 6:49 AM on March 30, 2005

Since thomcatspike never uses the word "I", he should be renamed to "".
posted by Pretty_Generic at 6:56 AM on March 30, 2005

From now on, I wish to be known as "the Mefite formerly known as jonmc."

Someone design a symbol for me, please.
posted by jonmc at 6:58 AM on March 30, 2005

Do you really want to ask that here jonmc?
posted by caddis at 7:02 AM on March 30, 2005

Perhaps we can settle this with a few gentlemanly rounds of math baseball? Winner gets the right to refer to themselves in whatever person they like. Excepting of course, the second. As that is reserved for bad freshman creative writing class efforts.

Oh, formerly Jonmc, here tis:

posted by Divine_Wino at 7:07 AM on March 30, 2005

Guys:

************
HE'S A TROLL
************

He's knows exactly what he's doing. It's obvious he's handpicked the precise conversational tics (droning on about evolution, the Bible, referring to oneself in third person, deliberately inflammatory Mac/PC comentary) that get people on internet forums so wound up. No doubt he's laughing his ass off right now. He's bee doing this for years. So are you gonna fall for it again and again again and again, or just ignore him?
posted by dhoyt at 7:11 AM on March 30, 2005

UM, is it just
exlotuseater, or does someone refer to themselves in the third person a lot and complain a lot too?
posted by exlotuseater at 7:31 AM on March 30, 2005

"In a Berek compensator adjusted for zero retardation, the single birefringent uniaxial crystalline plate is oriented with the extraordinary optical axis perpendicular to the surface of the crystal and parallel to the microscope optical axis."

and thus, the answer becomes clear... Simply reorient berek's birefringent uniaxial crystalline plate, and the problem will be solved. The retardation value seems to be at about 11,000 nanometers at the moment, so somebody just needs to counter-rotate his vernier dial with extreme prejudice.
posted by taz at 7:36 AM on March 30, 2005

Ok, that's a little more effort put in to gaining call-out cred. I see. At first I thought there was only three berek refers to berek posts and really thought our call-out standards were slipping.
posted by dabitch at 7:40 AM on March 30, 2005

I am not so much aware of this Ricky Henderson personage, but I would like to point out that he stole the third person self-reference notion from Grover on Sesame Street. Who, at least, was lovable.
posted by anapestic at 7:45 AM on March 30, 2005

Can someone please clarify for me, are we going to be burning anyone today or not?
posted by spaghetti at 7:45 AM on March 30, 2005

I am not so much aware of this Ricky Henderson personage,

Baseball player. Great athlete, but also an annoying prima donna.
posted by jonmc at 7:49 AM on March 30, 2005

Baseball player. Great athlete, but also an annoying prima donna.

So, in other words, the antithesis of Grover. Oh well, nobody's perfect.
posted by anapestic at 7:52 AM on March 30, 2005

anapestic, comedian David Cross does a Ricky Hendereson monologue which gets really annoying if you've heard it a few times. Much like the real thing!;)
posted by dabitch at 7:55 AM on March 30, 2005

Thank you all for the information. I was not really looking to learn more about obnoxious athletes, particularly those who steal from Grover without adopting any of his lovable qualities. If this Henderson fellow isn't blue and fuzzy, I don't want to know, ok? I have still not quite recovered from learning that there's a person inside Big Bird.
posted by anapestic at 7:58 AM on March 30, 2005

"I'm going to start writing all of my comments as dialogue," monju said.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 8:00 AM on March 30, 2005

BIG BIRD EATS PEOPLE?!?!? OHES NOES!!!11111eleventyone11
posted by exlotuseater at 8:01 AM on March 30, 2005

well, anapestic, you live in Maryland, so you can at least be thankful Henderson never played for the O's.
posted by jonmc at 8:04 AM on March 30, 2005

"we have icthyphilia!" grumbled his pantsfish.
posted by quonsar at 8:10 AM on March 30, 2005

You're right, jonmc, they got Albert "Lova-" Belle.
posted by breezeway at 8:10 AM on March 30, 2005

this baseball team was brought to you by the letter O.
big bird, sesame street, right? it's a joke.
posted by andrew cooke at 8:11 AM on March 30, 2005

It stops referring to itself in the third person or else it gets the hose again.
posted by klarck at 8:12 AM on March 30, 2005

Konformen to ze postenstylezung! Maken ze post mit der nonkonformenschtyle ist verboten! Nonkonformenschtyleposten git der pitchforkpoken and der torchassfirin! Taren und featherun proceeden! Bekomen der littlesheepen und BAH BAH BAH!
posted by crunchland at 8:17 AM on March 30, 2005

I am not so much aware of this Ricky Henderson personage

I'd like to loudly point out that I don't know who Rickey Henderson is, either. Sports are for troglodytes, and if accidentally see the sports section, I close my eyes real tight and think about the War of the Spanish Succession or von Leibniz until I forget the headlines. Because knowing of even one of the most significant ballplayers of my generation is just a step away from eating pre-packaged bologna and (shudder) watching television.
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:19 AM on March 30, 2005

Baseball. Hah. get your stupid American sport off the internet. You know why it's called the internet. Because it's Internetational. Asswipe. You probably think America is the only country in the World. I bet that's why you called it the World Series. Why don't you talk about proper international sports like football (Idiots prefer to call it soccer) or cricket.

/troll

That's the best I could do.
Anyone feel angered enough to bite back at me.
This looks like fun.
posted by seanyboy at 8:20 AM on March 30, 2005

themadjuggler's right. I mocked his writing style in-post, but I hardly think that's worth a callout. His continual bashing of questions, on the other hand, does. His lamenting of the "decline of Metafilter", having been a member for a whopping month, is just lame trolling.

berek, if you're reading this: If you're going to go around making snide comments and jokes around here, please do us all a favor and make sure that they are funny. We've already filled our unfunny gadfly quota through 2046.
posted by mkultra at 8:24 AM on March 30, 2005

Mayor Curley: I don't know much about football, but I know crickets are tasty.
posted by exlotuseater at 8:28 AM on March 30, 2005

not Mayor Curley, seanyboy. sorry. too quick on the post and too slow on the preview.
posted by exlotuseater at 8:29 AM on March 30, 2005

Nice try, MC- I can wipe that mask of baseball ignorance off your face with a few broad strokes- Fuck the Sox. 2004 was a fluke. You lost Pedro. You're back to playing Second Fiddle to the Yanks, as evidenced by signing David Wells, whose sole contribution to the club is that he knows how to pitch to his former teammates.

Go on, I dare you not to respond ;)
posted by mkultra at 8:31 AM on March 30, 2005

i vote that taz wins.


WE EAT TAPES
posted by lazaruslong at 8:31 AM on March 30, 2005

Sports are for troglodytes,

And you live in Boston? I was under the impression that not being a rabid Sox fan was illegal there.

I'm not making fun of Sox fans since it's cruel to mock the handicapped.
posted by jonmc at 8:32 AM on March 30, 2005

mkultra:

2004 was a fluke.
I'm too superstitious to respond to that!

You lost Pedro.
If this was 5 years ago, I would be pissed off about it. If you're a Mets fan, get ready to swear a lot every five days-- you could have got a lot of pitching with that money.

You're back to playing Second Fiddle to the Yanks, as evidenced by signing David Wells

I won't pretend to like him. But I will appreciate him if he performs. Can't complain about his contract.

Honestly, my ire towards the Yankees has evaporated (at least temporarily). The best thing about rooting for a perpetual underachiever is the catharsis when you see them win.
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:42 AM on March 30, 2005

Pick up the phone, Ricky Henderson. Pick up the phone.

comedian David Cross does a Ricky Hendereson monologue which gets really annoying if you've heard it a few times

It's actually annoying the first time, but it's still hilarious.
posted by ORthey at 8:44 AM on March 30, 2005

See, that was so much funnier before they won the world series.

The Mets have won a couple of Series, and it didn't take us a century to do it.
posted by jonmc at 8:48 AM on March 30, 2005

significant ballplayers

Pretty much an oxymoron, ain't it?
posted by soyjoy at 9:11 AM on March 30, 2005

Pretty much an oxymoron, ain't it?

Remember, we're troglodytes. How's your oratorio coming along?
posted by Mayor Curley at 9:23 AM on March 30, 2005

How's your oratorio coming along?

Ouch! Still unfinished after all these years, if you must know.

C'mon, MC, it was just a fun little poke. No need to make a berek of yourself.
posted by soyjoy at 9:29 AM on March 30, 2005

C'mon, MC, it was just a fun little poke.

My response was done in the same spirit. Unless your oratorio sucks.
posted by Mayor Curley at 9:36 AM on March 30, 2005

Heh. Actually, that was just an excuse to use my new favorite expression.

And there's no reason you should believe this, but I once co-wrote a radio show where baseball players turned out to be interchangeable with well-known classical composers. I think it was Mickey Mantle, in that one, who had written an oratorio.
posted by soyjoy at 9:40 AM on March 30, 2005

I once co-wrote a radio show where baseball players turned out to be interchangeable with well-known classical composers. I think it was Mickey Mantle, in that one, who had written an oratorio.

How'd Yogi Berra and Phil Rizzutto fare?
posted by jonmc at 9:44 AM on March 30, 2005

well, anapestic, you live in Maryland, so you can at least be thankful Henderson never played for the O's.

anapestic's zip code puts him in Nationals' territory now (no matter what that asshat Angelos thinks), and there is still a chance Rickey will come to play... but let's hope not.
posted by terrapin at 9:46 AM on March 30, 2005

I'd like to loudly point out that I don't know who Rickey Henderson is, either.

Don't be an ass, Mayor Curley. I watch sports, I like sports. I've heard of Ricky Henderson, of course, but I had no idea he was a prima donna or had a habit of referring to himself in the third person. It's possible to be unaware of something without being completely dismissive of it.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:51 AM on March 30, 2005

dhoyt writes "HE'S A TROLL.... He's knows exactly what he's doing. It's obvious he's handpicked the precise conversational tics (droning on about evolution, the Bible, referring to oneself in third person, deliberately inflammatory Mac/PC comentary [sic] )"

Er, dhoyt, are you confusing Berek, the third-person commenter and subject of this call-out, with Bevets, the creationist often called (I think un-usefully) a troll?

[Insert lazy snark comparing dhoyt's inability to distinguish between two different Mefafilter users to George W. Bush's inability to between Switzerland and Sweden, or Saddam and Bin Laden, or the "Culture of Life" and Federal activism inimical to states' rights. Imply all conservatives are similarly confused, ignoring liberals' imability to distinguish between private sexual conduct and lying under oath about private sexual conduct, free academic inquiry on the part of Harvard's president from "keeping women down", or to distinguish free speech from "hate crimes" when fundamentalists Christians exercise their free speech rights to say cruel things about gays.]
posted by orthogonality at 10:06 AM on March 30, 2005

How'd Yogi Berra and Phil Rizzutto fare?

Wait - so some ballplayer went and named himself after a beloved cartoon bear? Weird.
posted by soyjoy at 10:14 AM on March 30, 2005

*waits for the right moment to spring Coco Crisp and Milton Bradley on soyjoy*
posted by mkultra at 10:21 AM on March 30, 2005

I played roulette with Ricky Henderson in Tahoe. People kept coming up to him and telling him they were really glad to see him. I, standing next to him, finally told him I had no idea who he was. He said, "I'm a baseball player," and was very nice about it. From then on he ignored all the fans and chatted with me. He was a nice guy, and not a primadonna at the roulette table.

Anyway.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:22 AM on March 30, 2005

He's knows exactly what he's doing. It's obvious he's handpicked the precise conversational tics (droning on about evolution, the Bible, referring to oneself in third person, deliberately inflammatory Mac/PC comentary) that get people on internet forums so wound up. No doubt he's laughing his ass off right now. He's bee doing this for years. So are you gonna fall for it again and again again and again, or just ignore him?

Berek will step out of third person world for a moment and point out that he is new to Meta and has never posted to any other board anywhere else on the web. He thinks that Berek be mixed up with someone else. He finds it interesting how if you ask the impertinent question, you are all of a sudden the TROLL. Having said that, he will attempt to be less of a Berek and keep the comments more relevant. Berek likes third person however and will continue to refer to itself that way.

Berek really doesn't understand why people use Macs?! He thinks they look and feel like they were designed for ten year olds!

It stops referring to itself in the third person or else it gets the hose again.

Sounds like Bereks last date!

Can someone please clarify for me, are we going to be burning anyone today or not?

Sounds like the aftermath of Berek's last date!
posted by berek at 10:36 AM on March 30, 2005

"He said, 'Buttwipe.'" (*Snork, snork!*) /beavis
posted by Lynsey at 10:40 AM on March 30, 2005

Ricky Henderson: not the guy on Silver Spoons. Got it.

/Specklet ends useless comment.

On preview: Berek's kinda funny.
posted by Specklet at 10:42 AM on March 30, 2005

..ooOOoo....ooOOoo..'s favorite Ricky memory was getting flipped off from Ricky during a game in the Kingdome after heckling his first person speaking style. ..ooOOoo....ooOOoo.. also thinks that ..ooOOoo....ooOOoo.. may have been a hasty choice for a name.
posted by ..ooOOoo....ooOOoo.. at 10:48 AM on March 30, 2005

Berek?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:55 AM on March 30, 2005

I am in no way anti-baseball, I just don't know very much about Mr. Henderson, other than the whole stealing Grover's shtick thing.

When I was six (or so), I lived pretty close to where I live now, and the then-Senators left for Texas. I played little league as a child and supported the O's, even though they weren't my team of first choice. Then I lived in Boston for eleven years, and I could get decent tickets for three bucks on slow days and sit in Fenway. But I was also watching on TV when the ball went through Buckner's legs. And since I moved back here, the Orioles have pretty much sucked, though I've been to a few games at Camden Yards with my dad. I expect decades of dedicated suckage from the Nationals, except that they probably won't be around that long, or they'll go to someplace soulless, like Northern Virginia. (Northern Virginia: whose idea was that, anyway?)

So while I may indeed be a fan (though not a composer) of the oratorio, my ignorance of Ricky Henderson (who, really, with a name like that, should be a pop singer or a child actor) is more an accident than any snobbish avoidance of our national pastime.

Do you suppose there's any truth to the rumor that Big Bird took steroids?
posted by anapestic at 10:58 AM on March 30, 2005

Do you suppose there's any truth to the rumor that Big Bird took steroids?

I dunno, but The Count needs to seek help for his obsessive-compulsive disorder.
posted by jonmc at 11:01 AM on March 30, 2005

PinkStainlessTail: That was sweet.
posted by Cyrano at 11:05 AM on March 30, 2005

..ooOOoo....ooOOoo.. also thinks that ..ooOOoo....ooOOoo.. may have been a hasty choice for a name.

I've been waiting four months to say I told you so, but now that the moment's here, I won't - because if there's one thing I hate, it's saying "I told you so." Hate hate hate.
posted by soyjoy at 11:05 AM on March 30, 2005

I think Berek is a friend of The Manolo.

Oh, and klarck wins, because all Metatalk threads have a winner.
posted by knave at 11:14 AM on March 30, 2005

Do you suppose there's any truth to the rumor that Big Bird took steroids?

I dunno, but The Count needs to seek help for his obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Bert is behind it all!
posted by berek at 11:34 AM on March 30, 2005

Who's on first.
posted by seanyboy at 11:36 AM on March 30, 2005

And i still don't know how to pronounce ..ooOOoo....ooOOoo.. !!
posted by ramix at 11:54 AM on March 30, 2005

Back to the point of the callout:

Here's Berek's latest: The question isn't if this is real or not, the question is why on Earth did someone think this garbage should be posted on Metafilter?! And the downward spiral continues.

Before that, he posted this: Wow, a single link post made into three links, how impressive. And exactly why, pray tell, should Berek care about pretty pictures of spoiled rich kids with too much time on their hands? And the decline of Metafilter continues.

Putting everything else that is annoying about Berek aside (and there is lots), this sort of running critique in the Blue is totally inappropriate.

Berek: if you have a problem with a post, bring your problem to MetaTalk or flag it.
posted by Mid at 11:59 AM on March 30, 2005

a little pr0n is all it takes to break him of that habit, it seems.
posted by norm at 12:00 PM on March 30, 2005

"The retardation value seems to be at about 11,000 nanometers at the moment, so somebody just needs to counter-rotate his vernier dial with extreme prejudice."

Oh, I think I just fell madly in love.

It'll pass.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:07 PM on March 30, 2005

Oh, and I also really like my idea above where I refer to myself in the first person but everyone else in the third.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:08 PM on March 30, 2005

I'm not making fun of Sox fans since it's cruel to mock the handicapped.

See, that was so much funnier before they won the world series.

Don't blame jonmc. The yankee fans are still in shock. To go down as the biggest chokers in baseball history to the freakin' red sox has left yankee fans in a funk.

I'm sure a few of them will still be chanting "1918", poor bastards. Life for them will never be the same.
posted by justgary at 12:22 PM on March 30, 2005

I thought Trogdor smote the Berek, and all was laid to Burnination?
posted by filmgoerjuan at 12:25 PM on March 30, 2005

Back to the point of the callout:

This is among the weakest call outs ever, so you shouldn't be surprised if the conversation strays. Even the original outcaller has decided, in a move worthy of the House majority leader, to deflect attention by becoming the defender of the baseball-loving common man. Going in search of someone's misbehavior so that you can rerail a bad MeTa post is hardly necessary or virtuous.
posted by anapestic at 12:25 PM on March 30, 2005

At the risk of being branded with a giant T for troll,
sports proves that neanderthals still breed.
posted by berek at 12:31 PM on March 30, 2005

"That berek sure is a waste of flesh," commented monju.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 12:43 PM on March 30, 2005

anapestic: I agree that the third-person thing was not a great basis for a callout. The real basis for the callout should have been that the jerk keeps crapping on threads with his "why does this belong here" comments.

And, in case you haven't been paying attention, one needn't go search for misbehavior in this case. It's all over the place.
posted by Mid at 12:43 PM on March 30, 2005

Me : "'That berek sure is a waste of flesh,' commented monju."

I agree with myself, I am quite a waste of flesh.
posted by Bugbread at 12:44 PM on March 30, 2005

"sports proves that neanderthals still breed."

berek made us laugh.
posted by mischief at 1:05 PM on March 30, 2005

Wait... berek gets called out not for being a troll and a dipshit, but for using the third-person? A sad day at Metafilter...
posted by GeekAnimator at 2:11 PM on March 30, 2005

no, the third-person nonsense just makes the trifecta.
posted by exlotuseater at 2:20 PM on March 30, 2005

I'd like berek to know that, yes, he has attracted my attention by refering to himself in the third person; unfortunately for his attempts to communicate, I now choose to not read his posts from now on. Win some, lose some, berek.

Just occurs to me that if he is trollish as put forward by others in this thread, not reading him is, in fact, the best way to deal with him. How appropriate this all works out, then!
posted by five fresh fish at 2:22 PM on March 30, 2005

FFF wins.
posted by Mid at 2:23 PM on March 30, 2005

Berek...Bevets...let's call the whole thing off :>

My apologies Berek, although referring to one's self in the third person is as toenails-on-the-chalkboard as Bevets' quoting of The Scriptures™.


/routinely skips over your, Bevets' & thomcatspike's posts anyway...
posted by dhoyt at 2:27 PM on March 30, 2005

I'm thinking it's time to fire up that killfilter module that was whipped up for use in MeFi.
posted by Bugbread at 2:38 PM on March 30, 2005

Speaking in the third person makes me feel like Hulk.
posted by Peter H at 2:46 PM on March 30, 2005

bugbread, when you said "I'm thinking it's time", which Mefi member were you referring to?
posted by soyjoy at 2:51 PM on March 30, 2005

Berek, Jimbob doesn't know whether to kiss you or kill you.
posted by Jimbob at 3:02 PM on March 30, 2005

soyjoy, I'll field that one: "Why, myself, of course!"
posted by jenovus at 3:05 PM on March 30, 2005

Berek will step out of third person world for a moment and point out that he is new to Meta and has never posted to any other board anywhere else on the web. He thinks that Berek be mixed up with someone else...

I just want to point out that he says he is going to step out of the third person for a moment but never does. Oh cute call out though. I dug the Rickey Henderson bits.
posted by andendau at 3:12 PM on March 30, 2005

"That berek sure is a waste of flesh,".

MOM! Your on Metafilter!
posted by berek at 3:15 PM on March 30, 2005

soyjoy : "bugbread, when you said 'I'm thinking it's time', which Mefi member were you referring to?"

"The artist formerly known as bugbread"
posted by Bugbread at 3:27 PM on March 30, 2005

Joshur Berek wrote a stupid poem post to MetaFilter and now Joshur Berek is in bad trouble called out on MeTa.
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:52 PM on March 30, 2005

anapestic, what do you mean there's a person inside Big Bird?
posted by nixerman at 4:44 PM on March 30, 2005

Big Bird ate a person?!
posted by deborah at 5:28 PM on March 30, 2005

Once, being blown out by a JV basketball team not as good as us (Wednesday afternoon road games not being quite the thing in 15 year-old boys' lives), our coach, a non-descript schlub, not a screamer, not a teacher, not even really a coach and the only non-teacher coaching a JV sport (other than a terrific lacrosse coach I had who coached out of pure love of the game as opposed to just for a built-in excuse to duck out at 5 (and at lunch on Wednesdays) from whatever work-a-day, dead-end, off-white collar job one had) screamed out by way of a Rousing Halftime Speech, "They're already putting the shitbirds in!"

This thread reminds me of that. So I contribute one of the most ungainly sentences I've written. Sorry.
posted by yerfatma at 5:28 PM on March 30, 2005

114 COMMENTS ABOUT USING THE THIRD PERSON?!

MeFi has lost it. Besides, what's wrong with it? Hulk does it all the time.
posted by Shane at 6:57 PM on March 30, 2005

You think the second person is underrated. You will use that to refer to yourself from now on. Now everything you say sounds like a command. You could get used to this.

Berek will step out of third person world for a moment and point out that he is new to Meta and has never posted to any other board anywhere else on the web. He thinks that Berek be mixed up with someone else...

I just want to point out that he says he is going to step out of the third person for a moment but never does.

You noticed that too.
posted by solotoro at 8:33 PM on March 30, 2005

Me : " I just want to point out that he says he is going to step out of the third person for a moment but never does."

Yeah, I'm not the only one to notice it. I noticed it too.
posted by Bugbread at 9:47 PM on March 30, 2005

Has it never occurred to you heartless people that berek may have no arms at all, that he may, in fact, be a human nub fed through a tube, for whom a kindhearted volunteer has agreed to post these exquisite thoughts and insights that arise from a pain and isolation that you will never know?

Will you never be satisfied until that tube is forcibly removed, his lifeline severed, and this precious voice silenced forever? Well?
posted by taz at 10:08 PM on March 30, 2005

No, we won't.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:18 PM on March 30, 2005

anapestic, what do you mean there's a person inside Big Bird?

Disregard that post. Foreign agents overpowered me and wrote that in an attempt to destroy our nation's morale. They must be resisted.
posted by anapestic at 4:25 AM on March 31, 2005

Ethereal Bligh: You're scary when you're terse.
posted by exlotuseater at 4:55 AM on March 31, 2005

Will you never be satisfied until that tube is forcibly removed, his lifeline severed, and this precious voice silenced forever?

Actually, yeah, I think that would just about do it.
posted by soyjoy at 8:25 AM on March 31, 2005

blown out by a JV basketball team

You were blown by a JV basketball team?!
Lucky man, Berek's parole officer told him he can't hang out around JV teams anymore.
posted by berek at 11:40 AM on March 31, 2005

Yerfatma should consider submitting that gem to the Bulwer-Lytton contest...
posted by FYKshun at 5:04 PM on March 31, 2005

Gravy happens to know of a person who calls his penis "Dawg." And when he whips it out to take a piss he sighs with satisfaction and murmers to it, "Doggy, Dog, Dog. Ohhhh Dawg."

If you can survive the knowledge of this, everything else is just gravy.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:23 PM on March 31, 2005

Yeah, I'm not the only one to notice it. I noticed it too.
If it's your style fine, but you do it every time. Do you do it in askme? It really looks like you are google bombing your nickname. Maybe this is you.
posted by thomcatspike at 5:29 PM on March 31, 2005

Maybe this is you.

UM, Berek be confused.
Age be right, although how one gets 44 from born in 1969 he doesn't understand,
Ames be right, height be right, but Berek weight be more propotional, eyes and hair be right, but Berek be Iowa whitebread cracker through and through not black man from Antigua, though he has been known to lust after the occassional Antiguan.
posted by berek at 7:17 PM on March 31, 2005

UM, Berek be confused.
You're confused I Linked your profile name? At least you can be credited for responding.
On his word; berek to the kereb.
posted by thomcatspike at 7:25 AM on April 1, 2005