Cortex Sees (Select, Metafilter-centric Portions Of) America August 20, 2009 12:29 PM   Subscribe

Meetup junket! I bought one of the last Jetblue All You Can Jet passes (previously on metafilter), and I'm gonna spend the month from September 8th through October 8th flying around, and hopefully meeting up with a crapload of mefites in the process. Help me figure it all out. (NYC, Boston, Portland ME, Vermonsters, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Baltimore, DC, Raleigh, Vegas, LA, San Francisco, Salt Lake, Chicago, Denver: I'm talking to you!) [wiki page with more information about specific meetups, etc.]

I've put together a rough draft schedule for the month, see below. This is based on a few things:

- Jetblue's route map, which is pretty decent given the circumstances but not exhaustive and very hub-driven
- Where I've been and not been before (most of these destinations are new to me or effectively so)
- Minimizing (until the last week or so, at least) the amount of back-and-forth overflying as much as I can
- Staying domestic (flights incorporate potentially 3-digit taxes/fees per flight for non-US destinations, unfortunately)
- Trying to put at least two days between flying days where possible, to keep me sane and allow for some flexibility in travel plans while still making meetups schedulable (so if I have to catch a later flight, etc, it hopefully won't bork anything up)

I've never flown on an aggressive schedule like this and don't know many of these airports or who/what is near them, so if there's anything not merely silly but actually stupid in the itinerary, please let me know so I can rethink that bit.

Key things:
- I'd love to have a meetup in each destination. Beyond that, I'd love to hang out with mefites and get to know these places a little bit, if folks are available for that.
- I'm going to bring camera, video cam, maybe a field recorder too; I'd like to document the heck out of this, and it'd be great to document some willing mefites while I'm at it, incorporate folks into some amateur travelogue type stuff maybe.
- I'm interested in local stuff, but not really in touristy stuff. I'd rather take in local flavor or the quiet charms and weirdnesses from a resident's perspective than hit a tour loop or eat at a national chain.
- I like good food! Food is awesome. Good cheap or good not-as-cheap. Keyword: good. Knowing where to eat would be great.
- I'm totally down with public transportation, and I don't drive. Knowing how to find out how to find my way around (and whether it's tricky to do so) in any given town is a definite plus.
- If folks can put me up, that's awesome. I can sleep pretty much anywhere. Where that won't work, I'll grab cheap motels, etc.

With all that in mind, here's a draft itinerary. I need to fine-tune it for flight times, etc, but I thought I'd throw it out here as a starting point so folks can sanity-check and so on.

Meetups the day after I'm scheduled to fly into town might make the most sense, since I don't know if I'll be flying in early or late on any given day of this yet (and if there are bumps, early might turn into late for a given flight anyway).

Meetups on the evening of for each of the Road Trip destinations, I figure.

1. Northeast and New Orleans
9/8: PDX-JFK
9/10: JFK-Boston
9/12: train Boston to Portland, ME -- Downeaster line
9/13: Portland-JFK-Burlington (or...train/bus Portland-Jessamyn's place? Road trip, any VT/NH/ME folks?)
9/15: Burlington-JFK-New Orleans
9/17: New Orleans-BOS

2. Road Trip of Brotherly Love
9/18: Road trip! to Philly with my brother
9/19: to Baltimore
9/20: to DC
9/21: to NYC, brother drives home to BOS

3. Southeast and Southwest
9/21: JFK-Raleigh
9/23: Raleigh-JFK/BOS-Vegas
9/25: Vegas-Long Beach
9/28: Long Beach-SFO

4. Cleanup
9/30: SFO-Long Beach-Salt Lake
10/2: Salt Lake-Long Beach-Chicago
10/4: Chicago-BOS
10/5: BOS-Denver
10/7: Denver-JFK
10/8: JFK-PDX
posted by cortex to MetaFilter Gatherings at 12:29 PM (167 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

Bonus travelin' mod note: mathowie will also be making it to at least a couple of these legs: probably hitting Vermont in the same general time as me, and he's got a bike thing in Vegas between Sept 23-25. Not sure what else his plans are, I'll let him talk about that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:29 PM on August 20, 2009


No love for San Jose? I mean, we are bigger than San Francisco after all.
posted by GuyZero at 12:31 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


I am trying to show cortex how it is done, so I will be staying put (more or less) for the duration. Please show the guy a good time.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:31 PM on August 20, 2009


Going with that tentative schedule and the roadtrip-day-of, flying-day-after scheme for meetups, the tentative meetup schedule would look something like this:

Weds, 9/9: NYC
Fri, 9/11: Boston
Sat, 9/12: Portland, ME

Mon, 9/14: Somewhere In Vermont
Wed, 9/16: New Orleans
Fri, 9/18: Philly
Sat, 9/19: Baltimore
Sun, 9/20: DC

Tues, 9/22: Raleigh
Thurs, 9/24: Vegas
Sat, 9/26 and/or Sun, 9/27: LA

Tues, 9/29: San Francisco
Thurs, 10/1: Salt Lake
Sat, 10/3: Chicago

Tues, 10/6: Denver
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:35 PM on August 20, 2009


New Orleans welcomes you! I'm sure we can arrange a drunken meal or two.
posted by ColdChef at 12:37 PM on August 20, 2009


No love for San Jose?

Depending on the details, I might get around on the ground a bit in any given spot. I was actually in San Jose Mountain View a couple years back, fwiw.

But I haven't been to San Fran except a couple times when I was a young kid, and never to LA, so those are the main California destinations.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:39 PM on August 20, 2009


Your links, they are borked.

Your schedule, it is not enviable.
posted by dersins at 12:40 PM on August 20, 2009


Too bad no international plans. Have fun.

Am I missing something, or are your links borked? Maybe you could ask a mod to fix 'em ...
posted by donpedro at 12:42 PM on August 20, 2009


[I have unborked your links.]
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:43 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Thanks!
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:44 PM on August 20, 2009 [6 favorites]


Well, sir I don't expect you'll need to pay for too many of your own beers on this trip. I missed the tenth because I was traveling but I should be around for this one.

Careful though, for some reason a lot of Mefites bring loaded assault rifles to these things.
posted by bondcliff at 12:45 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


OH we MUST show him around DC/Bmore...come on.

Show em how we roll East Coast style.
posted by ShawnString at 12:45 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Jesus, that's a pretty aggressive itinerary, buddy. Also, all of Seattle is looking coldly at you.
posted by Skot at 12:45 PM on August 20, 2009


(er, that would be the one in Boston. I don't plan on following you around from town to town like your Phish or something.)
posted by bondcliff at 12:46 PM on August 20, 2009


There's early chatter about a possible Boston/Cambridge MeFite bike (MeFiCycle?) ride in early September once the place explodes with students. No date yet, so we could easily time it for your arrival. Also gets you off your jet-setting ass. So, Friday, September 11, late afternoon/early evening, ride along the Charles with a meal after? Anyone in? If so, I'll try to map out a fun route.
posted by cocoagirl at 12:46 PM on August 20, 2009


Portland OR! Think about how short your flight time would be!!
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:46 PM on August 20, 2009


THE MEETUPENING PART TWO: SON OF THE MEETUPENING.

Seriously, this is pretty sweet.
posted by ocherdraco at 12:47 PM on August 20, 2009


SALT LAKE, BEEYOTCHES

Seriously, Salt Lake? On a Thursday?

OK, this might be a tough one.

posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 12:48 PM on August 20, 2009


Also, all of Seattle is looking coldly at you.

I should really just train up to Seattle sometime, though.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:48 PM on August 20, 2009


Yeah, Texas thinks you're balls, too.
posted by pineapple at 12:49 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well I am merely taking the piss as they say as it's not a big deal to get to San Francisco from the other end of the bay. And there is some argument to be made the San Francisco is actually interesting whereas San Jose is, in fact, hell on earth or the gateway to hell that first bores you to death. I will leave arrangements to those more competent than I in SF.
posted by GuyZero at 12:50 PM on August 20, 2009


Salt Lake could be you and me and idiosyncratic drinking laws, crash, if that's all we can muster.

More generally: take it that each of those destinations has an implicit "...or thereabouts" after it, since I don't know where folks are, where stuff is, or how any of that relates to where the actual airport is. As long as I can eat, drink, and make my flights, I'm down for pretty much whatever.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:50 PM on August 20, 2009


Sweet! I can probably put you up in DC (pending the likely approval of Mrs. exogenous), where you can meet Dexter.
posted by exogenous at 12:51 PM on August 20, 2009


Also, cortex is totally going to eat a Crown Burger or two whilst he is here, I guar-ON-tee.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 12:51 PM on August 20, 2009


Yeah, Texas thinks you're balls, too.

I will probably be in Austin next March!
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:51 PM on August 20, 2009


Yeah, Texas thinks you're balls, too.

Texas should hear what cortex thinks of it.
posted by dersins at 12:53 PM on August 20, 2009


Neat. If the Chicago meetup ends up being on that day I should be able to join in. Hopefully you won't be completely destroyed from traveling at that point.
posted by burnmp3s at 12:55 PM on August 20, 2009


Yeah, once he gets to LA we're going to keep him and feed him so many tacos and beers he'll exceed the takeoff weight limitations of most major jets.
posted by loquacious at 12:55 PM on August 20, 2009


Baltimore will welcome you on the 19th.
posted by josher71 at 12:55 PM on August 20, 2009


- I like good food! Food is awesome. Good cheap or good not-as-cheap. Keyword: good. Knowing where to eat would be great.

What kind of food are you into, NYC is pretty limited food-wise but maybe we can scrounge a few things up.
posted by kathrineg at 12:56 PM on August 20, 2009


jessamyn, be sure to assure cortex that our house is hospitably full of cats! And the fridge is full of beer, and wherever we have the "mod in town" SF meetup, it will not be at Frjtz.
posted by rtha at 12:56 PM on August 20, 2009


Also, Boston->Maine on the train is beautiful, so good choice.
posted by kathrineg at 12:57 PM on August 20, 2009


There's early chatter about a possible Boston/Cambridge MeFite bike (MeFiCycle?) ride

Why didn't anyone tell me?!

Yeah, I'm totally up for anything that weekend. Let me inquire with the better half if we can utilize the new guest room. You should have no problem getting to/from the airport and anywhere in the Boston/Cambridge/Somerville area.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:58 PM on August 20, 2009


Also, we should go visit the famous Giant Donut and get pics in front of it. I can't remember exactly where it is, though. Figueroa Street?
posted by loquacious at 12:59 PM on August 20, 2009


(I also have a spare bicycle if we go riding and you are roughly my size or a couple inches taller.)
posted by backseatpilot at 1:00 PM on August 20, 2009


Ooh, well, uh, Long Beach kinda sucks. On the other hand, I'm happy to be your guide to LA, though I can't put you up. Hopefully someone can give you a ride from Long Beach up here to LA proper, as the last time I checked, public transit takes, what, about three hours each way I think? Maybe longer, with traffic (assume traffic).
posted by klangklangston at 1:02 PM on August 20, 2009


Wait, Loq, are you in LA now?
posted by klangklangston at 1:03 PM on August 20, 2009


Ooh, well, uh, Long Beach kinda sucks.

Yeah, I don't know jack about LA; Long Beach is where the big SW hub for Jetblue is, so that's where I'm landing is all. A ride would be wonderful.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:04 PM on August 20, 2009


Dang jetblue and their ability to fly you to BOGATA but not TORONTO.
posted by Richat at 1:05 PM on August 20, 2009


Yay for LA!

P.S. Lots of Juggalos in Long Beach. You've been warned.
posted by dhammond at 1:06 PM on August 20, 2009


Not a cyclist, but I'd be totally down for a Boston/Cambridge meetup.
posted by Diagonalize at 1:08 PM on August 20, 2009


cortex, you may need to have tacos in every city with decent tacos. I've got you covered for this in Philly.

Oh, and bring an extra stomach.
posted by desuetude at 1:08 PM on August 20, 2009


Heavens to Betsy I'll be in Iceland while you'll be in Boston on the 11th. Any chance of hitting up Providence on your roadtrip south with your brother? We will show you crazy, probably borderline illegal, definitely eldritch sights which will scar your soul forevermore a good time! If nothing else, there should be a MetaFilter meetup on top of H. P. Lovecraft at some point (as in, his physical remains, as in, his grave).
posted by Kattullus at 1:10 PM on August 20, 2009


Thank you for coming to the Dirty South. Mathowie was tweeting about his jet blue plans and it was all like: Yankeeville, Yankeeville, Yankeeville, Yankeeville. And I was like "Damn metafilter people too good for the South!"

Also it will probably be fine in New Orleans, but when you are in other parts of the South you may not want to be quite so . . . metafiltery. This is a dangerous barbaric place that nice people should really not come to.

Have fun!
posted by ND¢ at 1:13 PM on August 20, 2009


New Orleans! Yes! Let's do it!

I unfortunately can not put you up because my boyfriend has some friends staying with us that week.
posted by radioamy at 1:13 PM on August 20, 2009


Long Beach is where the big SW hub for Jetblue is, so that's where I'm landing is all.

Long Beach is by far the most pleasant airport in LA. Prepare to feel like it's 1965. In the good way.
posted by dersins at 1:13 PM on August 20, 2009


Texas thinks you're balls, but it also thinks you're smart for avoiding it when it's been over 100 degrees every day for the last who-knows-how-long. Our summers don't represent us well.
posted by bluishorange at 1:23 PM on August 20, 2009


Well they DO, but they also suck.
posted by bluishorange at 1:23 PM on August 20, 2009


Count me in if you need rides to or from the airport for the Chicago leg. Without consulting the non-existent Chicago cabal, I would say it's likely we'll want to do a Billy Goat meetup.
posted by SpiffyRob at 1:26 PM on August 20, 2009


Any suggestions of good road trip worthy stops along the Boston-Philly-Baltimore-DC-NYC-Boston Road-Trip-Loop would be very much appreciated as Cortex and I know painfully little about the northeast despite having both lived there. Preferably things that don't take a long time as the whole leg only last 3 days.

I am the brother implicated in the above plans.
posted by French Fry at 1:30 PM on August 20, 2009


I'm washing my hair that evening.
posted by eamondaly at 1:33 PM on August 20, 2009


Any chance of hitting up Providence on your roadtrip south with your brother?

Tempting just to be even crazier, but I think I'll want a night of downtime, so I'll probably just crash in Boston that night. The roadtrip schedule is already pretty tight.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:40 PM on August 20, 2009


Will there be "Cortex '09 US Tour" t-shirts? I'm down for meeting up here in LA.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:41 PM on August 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


I do DC to NYC fairly often and there's not a whole lot there. We usually load up on diner food before we head back home so we don't have to stop at any of the rest areas. They all remind me of "Dawn of the Dead" for some reason...
posted by JoanArkham at 1:43 PM on August 20, 2009


dang, cortex. I might've actually left the confines of my personal fortress and gone to wherever it is people socialize in public if you came to SE Texas.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:47 PM on August 20, 2009


I picture the Charles River MetaBike looking a little something like this.

I can't go three feet on a bicycle, so I'll be sitting on the bench with Statler and Waldorf.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:49 PM on August 20, 2009


This is a dangerous barbaric place that nice people should really not come to.

Unless they like barbecue.

I do get stuck behind a Critical Mass ride every few Fridays, although Atlanta's ride is nothing like Portland's. We're just not cool enough to be a JetBlue city, is all.
posted by catlet at 1:50 PM on August 20, 2009


cortex, you've got a place to stay in Durham.

WHEEEEEEE!
posted by Stewriffic at 1:52 PM on August 20, 2009


The October Chicago Meetup is Wednesday, October 1st. The nonexistent cabal highly encourages supplemental meetups, but back-to-back might be weird, even for us.
posted by crush-onastick at 1:54 PM on August 20, 2009


10/9: Emergency liver transplant
posted by peep at 1:56 PM on August 20, 2009


Yay! Burlington is finally on the map for a meet-up! Don't have to go to Portland, or Boston, or Montreal, etc. Woo Hoo! Definitely keep us updated as your itinerary fleshed out so we know where and when. Details, man, details!

Can't wait to buy you a beer, cortex! And you're coming to VT at a beautiful time of the year. Enjoy!!
posted by garnetgirl at 1:58 PM on August 20, 2009


oh my, you are going to meet a lot of mefites in NYC.
posted by shmegegge at 1:59 PM on August 20, 2009


oh my, you are going to meet a lot of mefites in NYC.

but on a wednesday... you're lucky this is the city that never sleeps.
posted by shmegegge at 2:00 PM on August 20, 2009


dittoing eyeballkid on the t-shirt idea. That would be fun.

Also, the public transportation in Burlington is fine. Can get you all around Burlington and the surrounding towns - I use it all the time, b/c parking sucks downtown. Can even take the Link bus to St. Albans or Montpelier if you want to see anyone farther out (about an hour north or south of Burlington, respectively). Other than that, you'd probably need to hook up with other mefites in the area for transport. Feel free to contact me when you're here!
posted by garnetgirl at 2:11 PM on August 20, 2009


If you need a place to crash in NYC, we have a spare room. I'd love to show you some hidden corners of Brooklyn's post-apocalyptic industrial wasteland.
posted by hermitosis at 2:12 PM on August 20, 2009


So, Friday, September 11, late afternoon/early evening, ride along the Charles with a meal after?

I'm not much of a cyclist, but I am widely known for my love of meals.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 2:12 PM on August 20, 2009


If you wander out to my neck of the woods (halfway between DC and Baltimore), I can feed you a homecooked meal.

With cupcakes.
posted by sperose at 2:14 PM on August 20, 2009


Great, I've moved from one MeFi borderland to another...I guess I am a little closer to Chicago this time though.
posted by mrmojoflying at 2:16 PM on August 20, 2009


hermitosis: "I'd love to show you some hidden corners of Brooklyn's post-apocalyptic industrial wasteland."

Such as the Bar B Q, in Prospect Park. The best bbq joint in the city, hands down. And speaking of postapocalyptic, the owner/chef of the place will come charging out of the smoke-filled kitchen with a miner's helmet (complete with lamp) and goggles to serve you your food.

At least, that's what it was like the last time I was there. I haven't lived in the neighborhood for a few years, so he might have toned down, some. but for real. best. food. ever.
posted by shmegegge at 2:17 PM on August 20, 2009


Philly planning thread started.
posted by piratebowling at 2:19 PM on August 20, 2009


ooh, while the cat's cortex is away... MeTa will be partially immoderate.
posted by Cranberry at 2:20 PM on August 20, 2009


Yay, another reason to meetup and drink.

October 6th, Tuesday. It's on my calendar.

Cortex, do you know where you'll be staying in Denver yet?

I know peachfuzz and I will be there, and I'm sure and Dr. Fresh and koeselitz will want to make it (koeselitz meet calendar). All we have to do with nailsthecat is wave a beer and a cigarette around and he will show up. We had a slew of new folks at the tenth meetup that will surely be interested.

So, let's decide on a place Denver.
posted by -t at 2:32 PM on August 20, 2009


MeTa will be partially immoderate.

Do not even think about it.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:33 PM on August 20, 2009 [3 favorites]


Yes! Awesome! After I posted my I'm moving to Chicago thread I got a bunch of Memail from sassy Chi-town Mefite ladies and couldn't wait for the next meet-up so we can all actually meet without me having to chase people around with binoculars.

Also, I have a bunch of doubles and self-links I've just been waiting to post until Cortex is otherwise occupied.
posted by Juliet Banana at 2:36 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


JB, see comment above yours
posted by Cranberry at 2:37 PM on August 20, 2009


Cortex, do you know where you'll be staying in Denver yet?

No idea!
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:37 PM on August 20, 2009


Biking meetup! Yay!
I've biked 110 miles in the last 5 days. Rar! Biking meetup thingy GOOD. I start work in Downtown Crossing in a few weeks, so I could bike to work that day for the ride.

And if all locations in profiles are accurate, I've biked past not_on_display's home as well as French Fry's home multiple times. Any other mod-type-folks have peeps in the Belmont-Watertown-Newton microplex?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 2:41 PM on August 20, 2009


Re: Long Beach

public transit takes, what, about three hours each way I think? Maybe longer, with traffic (assume traffic).

I'd say an hour-and-a-half or so each way, plus traffic. Thin Lizzy and I may be able to provide said ride if she isn't in rehearsals then.

Are we going to start individual meetup threads for each leg? 'Cause here in L.A. we like to bicker for a good long while before settling, always begrudgingly by near fifty percent of the population, on a location.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:50 PM on August 20, 2009


Long Beach is a ways away from Los Angeles proper, but if you can get up here I've got a guest bedroom with your name on it. It'll give me a reason to finally put the sailboat picture up on the wall. Oh, and I could totally swing you over to klang's side of town Sunday morningish. Picturing the two of you frolicking on the westside makes me feel all glowy inside.
posted by carsonb at 2:51 PM on August 20, 2009


Are we going to start individual meetup threads for each leg? 'Cause here in L.A. we like to bicker for a good long while before settling, always begrudgingly by near fifty percent of the population, on a location.

Probably for the best to start new threads, yeah. Bonus cortex or no, a meetup's a meetup and it'd be a nightmare to try and plan fifteen of 'em in one place.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:53 PM on August 20, 2009


If you'll still be in DC the morning of the 21st, I can give you a tour of my office. Ask jessamyn--it's pretty cool.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:56 PM on August 20, 2009


cortex: Tempting just to be even crazier, but I think I'll want a night of downtime, so I'll probably just crash in Boston that night.

Awww... but you might end up at a noise-rock show with transsexual pornography and a horde of Guatemalan cowboys!*


* Actual thing that actually happened.
posted by Kattullus at 3:00 PM on August 20, 2009


Picturing the two of you frolicking on the westside makes me feel all glowy inside.

FOURSQUARE!
posted by dhammond at 3:02 PM on August 20, 2009


What a really excellent plan, cortex, have fun with it. Maybe there can be a permanent MetaFilter Plenipotentiary at Large if you do real good this time.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:02 PM on August 20, 2009


cortex: if you decide to reconsider Providence for 9/12, Waterfire is worth the trip.


Awww... but you might end up at a noise-rock show with transsexual pornography and a horde of Guatemalan cowboys!*
* Actual thing that actually happened.


DAMMIT. I'm never missing another meetup again.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 3:04 PM on August 20, 2009


"FOURSQUARE!"

Fuck yeah.

I have purchased not one but two new {TESTICLES JOKE} for foursquare, one the standard kind (rubber, nubbed), the other smooth and plastic. The smooth plastic one actually gets incredibly wicked spin on it, so much so that it takes mutual good will not to just whip it impossibly with every turn.
posted by klangklangston at 3:17 PM on August 20, 2009


This is an awesome idea, yay!
posted by iamkimiam at 3:26 PM on August 20, 2009


I would SO love to roadtrip you for Portland to Burlington, but I'll be starting a new job, and they've already booked me for the weekend. :( Definitely want to make one or more of your meetups, though.
posted by Miko at 3:38 PM on August 20, 2009


Jetblue flies to beautiful beautiful Buffalo, which is a 1.5 hour drive to Toronto. Due to border difficulties, I cannot offer to pick you up. Having said that, mi casa es su casa, if you make the trip.
posted by gman at 3:42 PM on August 20, 2009


crush: October's meetup is the 7th-- the 1st is a Thursday. And I say more meetups! Damn those who speak of less (fewer)!

cortex, when you know where you'll be staying in Chicago, let us know and we can adjust accordingly. Also, Casa del Daly has a room if you need it, but you'll have to go pantless, as is our custom.
posted by eamondaly at 3:48 PM on August 20, 2009


Oh, wait! I might be out of town that weekend, actually. Don't hold me to that quite yet.
posted by eamondaly at 3:50 PM on August 20, 2009


Darn it, I'll be in Puerto Rico when you're in Denver. Well, I'm glad I'll be in Puerto Rico, just disappointed I'll miss you. I did get to meet jessamyn last year, so I'm not totally modless. I'm sure the Denver MeFites will show you a fine time.
posted by lukemeister at 3:51 PM on August 20, 2009


No specific Chicago accommodations plans, so I'll hit you up about the Pantless Lodgings if something else doesn't come up, eamondaly, yeah.

which is a 1.5 hour drive to Toronto.

Toronto (and a couple other Canadian spots) are definitely on my eventual TOGO list, but I don't think I want to try and sneak that into the schedule this time around.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:51 PM on August 20, 2009


Who the fuck said anything about Africa?
posted by gman at 3:54 PM on August 20, 2009


I have passed First Clearance ("Honey, we doing anything the weekend of the 11th?") with banjo, so we could be in for both Boston and Portland.

There's a Belgian beer bar (Novare Res) in Portland that we'll be trying out for the first time for my birthday in two weeks, so that might be good.

For Boston, well, it all comes down to EXPLOSION!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:00 PM on August 20, 2009


Cortex, I'll go absolutely CLOWN SHOES* on Toronto if you do make it one day. That'll definitely be a reason to make the trip.

* Hope I used that right
posted by Richat at 4:01 PM on August 20, 2009


If you want to go further away from civilization rather than toward it after landing in Long Beach, Jena!!! and I both live in Orange County (in a part with less plastic surgery and more family-owned taco stands than television would have you believe), about 15 minutes from Disneyland.

Of course, if need be, we can make the trek to Los Angeles, too.
posted by infinitywaltz at 4:06 PM on August 20, 2009


YAY CHICAGO! I get to meet Cortex AND Juliet Banana in one trip? Wahooo!
posted by IndigoRain at 4:07 PM on August 20, 2009


so we could be in for both Boston and Portland.

If that plan firms up and you're gonna drive up to Portland and don't mind an extra body in the car, let me know and I'll skip the train ticket if the timing makes sense.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:08 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


9/20 will be known forever after as The Night DC Burned The Fuck Down. Or Not, depending on how that previous sentence appears to federal agents.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:08 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Dude, we could put you up in Salem between the Boston meetup and the Portland.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:10 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ah, I've got a crew of old friends in Boston (and my brother) who I'll be catching up with for parts of that leg, so I'm probably all set on places to crash on that front. But thank you!
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:13 PM on August 20, 2009


Did somebody say Africa?
posted by eamondaly at 4:13 PM on August 20, 2009


There's a fold-out sofa bed for you in San Francisco if Casa Rtha doesn't work out. Also, this is my usual request to please pick a BART-friendly venue. Because if I actually meet cortex I can yell "mod bingo!" - he's the only one I'm missing. C'mon SF, don't let me down.
posted by Quietgal at 4:14 PM on August 20, 2009


You definitely have to hit up the PVD at some point, but Boston's close enough for me! I can drive up there straight from work! I will do my best not to use the nanny voice on anyone, but on a Friday night with 50 hrs. of childcare under my belt... if you start putting that in your mouth, I just might not be able to help myself.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:17 PM on August 20, 2009


In that case, we'd be happy to save you some money on your trip up (5 bucks vs 20). Commuter Rail to Salem, we'll drive you the rest of the way.

Just let us know!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:18 PM on August 20, 2009


Cortex, take a look at Blade Runner's opening sequence, and you will see your view as your plane parallels the 405 freeway and lands in Long Beach. Heh. Welcome.
posted by effluvia at 4:36 PM on August 20, 2009


You come to DC, I buy car bombs. That is how things work down here.
posted by Loto at 5:08 PM on August 20, 2009


Woohoo! Chicago! That will hopefully be my second meetup, assuming I go to the one in September.
posted by Green With You at 5:38 PM on August 20, 2009


After a long time on hold and then some prompt customer service once they picked up, I've booked my itinerary up through my arrival in Vegas.

The only thing not booked in that span is the Portland->Vermont leg:

9/13: Portland-JFK-Burlington (or...train/bus Portland-Jessamyn's place? Road trip, any VT/NH/ME folks?)

I don't know if a road trip would work for anyone (I think Miko has work obligations, for one), and I don't know what the train/bus possibilities are for that route, but if any locals have suggestions I'm all ears. Otherwise, I'll book the flight through JFK when I call back to set up the rest of the itinerary tomorrow.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:39 PM on August 20, 2009


This is really cool cortex. Good for you. I'm 3 hours south of DC and 3 hours north of Charlotte so if I can offer any lodgings or pick ups at airports, let me know. I will be happy to. :)
posted by vronsky at 5:39 PM on August 20, 2009


Crash and Cortex:
You've got two more mefites newly relocated close enough to SLC to maybe join in the idiosyncrasies. (me and JeffL)

Come to the Happy Valley...we have cheap ice cream! (But not much beer...) We haven't even been here long enough to explore SLC yet, but we'll try to join in the fun if we can. And if you end up needing a place to stay, we're a bit away from the airport, but we can give you a guest room and a bit of (possibly necessary by that time) low-key relaxation. We're close to Sundance, too, if you want to explore that option. They have beer.
posted by BlooPen at 5:45 PM on August 20, 2009


Oh, and there's local beer in the fridge, but I just braved one of the Utah State Liquor stores to get it today, so I don't know if it's any good.
posted by BlooPen at 5:47 PM on August 20, 2009


Loto: "You come to DC, I buy car bombs."

He'll do it too, he's crazy.

crazy like a fox

thanks again for the carbomb loto

does anyone read the text down here?

Insightful and relevant link that no one ever sees because it's the last thing posted in the thread
posted by homonculus at 8:53pm on August 20 [+] [!]

posted by Riki tiki at 5:48 PM on August 20, 2009


posted by eyeballkid Will there be "Cortex '09 US Tour" t-shirts?

There will be donuts.
posted by mattdidthat at 6:06 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Aaaaaand the plaaaaane, the black traveller! raises a falg atop its wing and the crowd gives a cheer! And out comes a man, looking fine and looking tan, and they are asking him. ASKING HIM.

"Ban them now or later?"

"BAN THEM NOW OR LATER?"
posted by The Whelk at 6:14 PM on August 20, 2009


Can we please have a new subsite: cortex.metafilter.com so that the front page of metatalk doesn't become ALL CORTEX ALL THE TIME? I mean, I love the guy, but geez-- 3 threads in less than 4 hours?
posted by dersins at 6:49 PM on August 20, 2009


I volunteer to chauffeur cortex wherever he wants, except I go to class at last on his last LA day (monday) at 1pm.

I'm not located _in LA_ enough for anybody to want to stay in my guest room, but I know a mefite who might be helpful...

And what day will your LA meetup be here in LA? Mrr? New thread?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 6:52 PM on August 20, 2009


Mrr. New thread.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:03 PM on August 20, 2009


Yay for NC being included in this mega meetup! Cortex, if I'm still only partially employed in a month, I can ferry you from the RDU airport to wherever you need to go. Triangle denizens: where should we meet? Should we start a fancy thread to discuss it?
posted by leesh at 7:05 PM on August 20, 2009


stewriffic has offered me crash space and is in Durham, I think? And would have started a meetup thread herself I think but she posted to Metatalk a couple days ago.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:12 PM on August 20, 2009


I cannot read a calendar, so clearly, I have no claim to heading up the Chicago meetups. But I'll go where I am told.
posted by crush-onastick at 7:38 PM on August 20, 2009


I "officially" have orchestra rehearsal on Oct 6, but will back out of it so I can go to the meetup. If someone else wants to go through the hard work of picking a place (like Falling Rock) for the Denver meetup, I'd be fine with that.
posted by dr. fresh at 7:41 PM on August 20, 2009


For the DC-NYC drive: The United Plates of New Jersey

For the Airports: Grabbing a Bite Between Flights
posted by mlis at 8:18 PM on August 20, 2009


I can give you a tour of my office. Ask jessamyn--it's pretty cool.

Indeed. I told cortex special to make sure to look you up.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:26 PM on August 20, 2009


re: Boston --> Portland --> Burlington

I think there is a Greyhound Bus that will take you from Portland to Burlington. I cannot vouch for its comfort. Looks like it takes about nine hours to make a four and a half hour drive.

Also, the Oxford County Fair (Warning: Loud unexpected sound starts up after a minute or two) is right between Portland or Burlington; might be interesting, might not. Its a pretty good fair.

I also find it ironic that one of the three airlines that flies into PWM is indeed Jetblue, but you're still taking the train (which is AWESOME BTW - I loves me some Downeaster).

I may be able to put you up that weekend, if you don't mind toddlers. (Honey, I hope you don't mind. I invited some long-haired stranger from the internet to stay at our house. Its ok, though ... he likes doughnuts) MeMail Me if you'd like to sleep in our uber-victorian guest room....
posted by anastasiav at 9:45 PM on August 20, 2009


think there is a Greyhound Bus that will take you from Portland to Burlington.

Durf. I should be sleeping. Of course you can FLY to Burlington (via JFK) on JETBLUE. With your SUPERPASS. Duh.
posted by anastasiav at 9:49 PM on August 20, 2009


Yeah, if getting from Portland to Correct Place, Vermont (which, neither for or against Burlington, but I've only been naming that as the destination for that leg because it's where Jetblue flies to; seeing Jessamyn's digs and whatever the locals think is worth seeing is a higher priority than Burlington per se) is more interesting by not-Jetblue and still reasonably time-effective, I'll do that, but otherwise I'll just book a connection through JFK and do it that way.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:20 PM on August 20, 2009


I would like to register my displeasure with the fact that although I will be in five of those cities between now and early October, it appears I will not be in a single one at the same time. See, I'm trying to follow cortex around, like Phish, but I kind of suck at it.
posted by nat at 11:30 PM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


I am leaving Portland, ME on the first of the month, but while you are here you must. eat. at Local 188. or Bresca, if you want to shell out a bit more.

We do food here like nobody's business.
posted by setanor at 11:30 PM on August 20, 2009


crush, if it makes you feel any better, I believed you about the dates, even though I knew you were wrong.
posted by SpiffyRob at 4:37 AM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


thank you, spiffy, that gives me the strength to face today.
posted by crush-onastick at 4:52 AM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


Did you say beer, -t? Go team Denver!! So that would be Oct 5th or 6th depending on flight schedules I presume.

Cortex: If you need an airport pick-up/drop-off I may be available. A bed would be most unlikely though I'm afraid--although not completely out of the question.
posted by NailsTheCat at 6:40 AM on August 21, 2009


Sounds like you're probably set for San Francisco, but just wanted to offer another crash option. Tiny place, but you'd have your own room, kinda (folding doors).

I have a dog and I snore loudly. Other than that I'm the perfect host. Yeah right.
posted by trip and a half at 7:23 AM on August 21, 2009


What, no St Louis?

*stuff hands in pockets, kicks at dirt*

Harrumph.
posted by slogger at 10:37 AM on August 21, 2009


And I'm all for schmoopy, but there are now nine cortex-related threads blanketing the front page of MeTa. Jeesh.
posted by slogger at 10:39 AM on August 21, 2009


See, if you can't make the meet ups, you can just hang out in Meta. It's a Cortex party, all day, every day!
posted by Juliet Banana at 10:43 AM on August 21, 2009


What, no St Louis?

Jetblue doesn't fly closer than Chicago, unfortunately. Trying to work in a 3-400 mile drive each way on a tight schedule with no car, etc. I'm mostly at the mercy of their route map.

And I'm all for schmoopy, but there are now nine cortex-related threads blanketing the front page of MeTa. Jeesh.

Yeah, I didn't really plan for that explosion of threads. Eep.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:54 AM on August 21, 2009


Yeah, I didn't really plan for that explosion of threads. Eep.

Can we reappropriate ten.metafilter.com, or something like it, for the purpose?

Kidding of course...

Cortex and Denver people, any preference 5th or 6th?
posted by 7segment at 11:16 AM on August 21, 2009


6th is the better bet; don't yet know when I'm flying in on the 5th, might be late.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:19 AM on August 21, 2009


And if all locations in profiles are accurate, I've biked past not_on_display's home as well as French Fry's home multiple times. Any other mod-type-folks have peeps in the Belmont-Watertown-Newton microplex?

Cat Pie Hurts, I'm in Watertown, but the location thingy on my profile page doesnt like me. Or I cant make it work, which is more likely....
posted by darsh at 11:50 AM on August 21, 2009


Wiki'd, to keep track of meetup threads.
posted by Pronoiac at 1:29 PM on August 21, 2009


Smart, Pronoiac. I'll add a note to the post itself linking to that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:41 PM on August 21, 2009


And because every tour needs a poster.
posted by ocherdraco at 2:29 PM on August 21, 2009


Who's the other dude on the poster, ocherdraco?
posted by Pronoiac at 3:07 PM on August 21, 2009


Oh, hey, French Fry. Never mind!
posted by Pronoiac at 3:09 PM on August 21, 2009


ocherdraco: "And because every tour needs a poster."

Ooooh, cool idea! My contribution.
posted by Riki tiki at 9:52 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


I like that my mouth is full of fries in that concert poser. Hot.
posted by French Fry at 4:12 PM on August 22, 2009


Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow!! Me and I Could but I Won't will actually be escaping from our island paradise for a trip to see friends and family in VT at the same time as you, Cortex! I was undecided on whether I would try to plan a meetup or not considering that we have a pretty full itinerary already that and I feel guilty for ignoring Meta in favor of not getting fired.

I think I will hang back a bit before starting a thread to see if Jessamyn has something in the works that she hasn't debuted yet.
posted by Bango Skank at 5:18 PM on August 22, 2009


I have nothing in the works, if you want to plan a meetup I will go to it. Or I will plan one once I know the exact ins and outs of cortex's visit here.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:46 PM on August 22, 2009


What we need are "Cortex World Tour 2009" shirts, with a donut for the hole in "Cortex."

Other possibilities: "Millard In CA" in the Metallica font, and JO/SH in the AC/DC font. If folks are interested in these, I'll make the graphics.
posted by mattdidthat at 9:48 PM on August 23, 2009


How about "Wave of Moderation?"
posted by Pronoiac at 7:43 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


please do resist flaming out tonight
cortex is across the country
you'll think he's gone but you'll wash away
with a wave of moderation
wave of moderation
wave of moderation
wave
wave

he's banned spammers, closed crapfest trainwrecks
you think you are so much cleverer
he'll find and ban every sock puppet
with a wave of moderation
wave of moderation
wave of moderation
wave
wave
wave of moderation
wave of moderation
wave of moderation
wave
wave
posted by Kattullus at 9:01 PM on August 27, 2009 [1 favorite]


Give me hope
Give me hope
You can... moderate me

Then take off them fedoras
Put down them donuts
Moderate me

Cleaner thread
Moderate me

Moderator baby [4x]
Baby moderate me

If all in all is blue [3x]
If all is blue
Won't you please moderate me [4x]

Fighty fight... Fighty
Moderate me

Come on Cortex
You know we loves you
Moderate me

Cleaner thread
Moderate me

He circumcised a baby
Moderator baby [3x]
Baby
Moderator Baby
Baby. Baby. Moderate me

If all in all is blue [3x]
If all is blue
Won't you please moderate me [5x]
Me, me, me, me, ...
posted by ND¢ at 6:16 AM on August 28, 2009


A rough approximation of cortex's itinerary, inspired by the recent addition of an ad for his trip. (You need to freaking advertise, dude?)
posted by grouse at 9:06 PM on September 2, 2009


Ha! Nice. There's some drive-time stops missed in there and a bit of miscellanea at first glance, but it's about right. I've been thinking about trying to produce a tight visualization of the itinerary.

For what it's worth, Matt added the ad and then told me afterward.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:52 PM on September 2, 2009


Not that there's anything wrong with that.

And yeah, we could probably swing a #666666-backgrounded alternate link image, if nothing else.

posted by cortex (staff) at 12:06 AM on September 3, 2009


Do people go to hell automatically once their carbon footprints pass a certain threshold?
posted by Meatbomb at 5:26 AM on September 3, 2009


That ad is hilarious. Also: whine whine whine Providence whine :)
posted by Kattullus at 9:26 AM on September 3, 2009


Cortex, why is NYC karaoke not listed on the itinerary?
posted by ocherdraco at 9:45 AM on September 3, 2009


Late breaking development. It'll get there, I've got a bunch of bookkeeping and cleanup to do today.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:46 AM on September 3, 2009


Cool. I was just confused about its status as an official part of the Cortexathon.
posted by ocherdraco at 9:49 AM on September 3, 2009


The Baltimorans need to step up, man. It's a motherfucking Saturday, get your shit together and party the fuck up!
posted by exogenous at 3:11 PM on September 5, 2009


Ok, it's Sunday. I'm partying the fuck up now.
posted by josher71 at 11:32 AM on September 6, 2009


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHokay better now
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:36 AM on September 8, 2009


cortex, you will probably be well prepared for a careeer in logistics after all this. I assume you're kicking things off with the redeye flight? Bon voyage and see you in a couple of weeks!
posted by exogenous at 9:02 AM on September 8, 2009


Yes indeed. I figure it wouldn't be a New York party if I hadn't basically been awake for two days straight before I started drinking.

Itinerary on the blog is up to date with meetup threads. Baltimore is shaping up, Vegas and SLC are still kind of ghosttown but I've heard from at least a couple people in each. Kinda vibrating at this point.

Got some household errands to run, which is probably a good idea at this point. Bleed off some of this excess energy.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:06 AM on September 8, 2009


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