2016 Secret Quonsar Thank You Thread! November 14, 2016 9:57 PM   Subscribe

I can't believe I'm starting this thread. I can't believe that I came home tonight to the most gloriously Metafiltery of Secret Quonsar gifts!

Late 2015 and all of 2016 was a really challenging time for me when a friendship / sort of crush on my part (realized only belatedly) ended suddenly and without any warning at all. It hurt (still hurts). It was the community here that kept me going--I think I reviewed every relationship/breakup Ask Metafilter post since the beginning (thank you, dear MeFites, for sharing your experiences, and helping me to feel less alone).

Today I received a mysterious package from one Quon S. Mas - Internet, with a San Francisco address. On the outside of the box were the instructions:
"Open Immediately (If Not Before)"
"*Inner Packages to be Opened As Recipient Prefers*"
"*Contents Unlikely to Improve With Age*"
"Open Immediately"
and best of all: "Contains Beans Worth Overthinking"

Dear Quon S. Mas: you redeemed not only this day but this entire challenging year! I opened the box to find it full of amazing packages, each one wrapped in a map from San Francisco or Northern California. It felt exotic and exciting and I enjoyed looking at all the names of towns and cities and parks and roads from your home. I was honored to receive a pair of Darn Tough socks (which I had always wanted! Never had them before!). And a book of Johanna Basford Postkarten (yes! The German edition!) lovely line drawings to color. And an Einkaufs-Tache / shopping bag, the kind you can carry with you and when you go to the store, you can say: I have my own bag, thanks! And some Camel’s Breath pu-erh tea, something new that I had not heard of before, but that I look forward to drinking. And Rancho Gordo Oregano Indio and Mexican Oregano, and Mixteca Salt (“softens beans / “not a finishing salt”)—because, dear MeFites, I now have not one but *four* different kinds of beans to cook! Lovely speckled Christmas Lima, classic Cassoulet, Ayocote Café, *and* (and boy do I need this one) Super Lucky 2017 Black Eyed Peas. I transitioned to a whole foods, plant based diet and I do love me my plates of beans. Thank you, dear Quon S. Mas. Thank you all, dear MeFite community. I will do my best to be there for you as you have been for me.
posted by apartment dweller to MetaFilter Gatherings at 9:57 PM (719 comments total) 82 users marked this as a favorite

Yay for Secret Quonsar! It's a good year for the Quonsmas spirit to come early.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:47 PM on November 14, 2016 [6 favorites]

Ooh, Quon S. Mas of San Francisco has set the bar high this year! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

(And cheers to a bright 2017 for you, apartment dweller.)
posted by headnsouth at 5:15 AM on November 15, 2016 [6 favorites]

How amazingly lovely! I'm so, so bad at finding and sending gifts (my best friend's Christmas 2015 and July 2016 birthday gifts are STILL sitting on my front table...I know) that I don't participate in Quonsmas but I do love to live vicariously through all of you who do participate!
posted by cooker girl at 5:42 AM on November 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

I can't even with how perfect it is that the first gift received was a plate of beans.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:50 AM on November 15, 2016 [39 favorites]

My quonsar sent me a a delightful woodblock print made by MeFi's Own robocop is bleeding!
posted by jedicus at 7:34 AM on November 15, 2016 [12 favorites]

I can't believe the first gifts have already been received! You guys are so on the ball.
posted by phunniemee at 7:53 AM on November 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

The SQTY thread is my favorite thread every year! Yay!
posted by mochapickle at 8:39 AM on November 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Wow, so prompt and beany!
posted by Secretariat at 9:19 AM on November 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

My quonsar sent me a a delightful woodblock print made by MeFi's Own robocop is bleeding!

I admit when I received the order, I thought the term 'quonsee' was a wildly autocorrected version of 'fiance' so your card was almost even more amorous.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:35 AM on November 15, 2016 [23 favorites]

Ok now I'm starting to get performance anxiety.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 11:44 AM on November 15, 2016 [9 favorites]

I'm a little jealous! I want to send mine off (and have started assembling it), but at the moment, I'm waiting on a particular local festival that opens up on Black Friday, where I hope to buy the last piece of my Quonsee's gift.
posted by PearlRose at 1:17 PM on November 15, 2016

Ok now I'm starting to get performance anxiety.

Don't! Every once in a while someone delivers an absolutely spectacular gift - a perfect marriage of quonsar, quonsee, gift, and circumstances. But most gifts aren't banjos or boxes of beans or the childhood book they posted about (and never found) in AskMe 5 years ago. Most gifts are "merely" delightful or lovely or thoughtful or tasty or quirky or inspired or funny or fascinating or right for their quonsee.

The Joy of secret quonsar is that you are getting a gift from the internet. Someone stopped to take some time and think about YOU and to find a gift they think will provide a small bit of happiness. Seriously, 70% of the work is done even before you start shopping.
posted by julen at 2:56 PM on November 15, 2016 [57 favorites]

I'd started assembling the idea of my gift, but this thread has already given me several quonsensical thoughts on top of that, so, A++ WOULD QUONSE AGAIN.
posted by dorian at 4:05 PM on November 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

Don't be intimidated. One year I received a creased photograph of someone's lovely art. It wasn't the kind of art I'd make or buy normally, but it made my week. It was so cool to receive a thing that I never would have though of myself!

I've also sent off just a bunch of candy. I thought, I might not be the biggest fan of candy, and I might feel obliged to give away random candy received in the mail, but it would be fun to receive. And that's the point.
posted by amtho at 5:31 PM on November 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

Now I think I'm going to set up a secret Santa system for the 30 or so neighbors on my street who I barely know. This is inspiring. I think it might help bring people together.
posted by amtho at 5:33 PM on November 15, 2016 [6 favorites]

Another vote for not being intimidated. I've done this for 7? 8? years now and as a quonsee, every gift I've received has been completely delightful in its own way. It's a thrill just getting a package from someone who is in this community, and it's so fun picking out a little something happy to send to your own quonsee. And it's extra nice to see their comments in the years to follow because you know them now.
posted by mochapickle at 6:04 PM on November 15, 2016 [15 favorites]

hearing my little niece yell "hey Uncle Dorian! There's some weird box for you!" is possibly-viscerally one of the greatest feelings ever...

but being the one packing up that box and fire-and-forget? even better.
posted by dorian at 9:29 PM on November 15, 2016 [16 favorites]

Hmm, there's a vast range of options between finding the exact copy of your quonsee's long-sought childhood bedtime book in poictesmois creole (and arranging a call with the nanny who read it to them), and sending a bulk bag of random candy. As amtho so rightly says, the point is that it's fun to receive. And that does, in fact, require some degree of match.

Some posting histories aren't very enlightening, and on top of that they might say to send "whatever makes you happy." So, probably they're good with bent postcards and bags of random candy. Or practical things that don't particularly make you happy but everyone can use, like office supplies and those little tissue packs.

But for quonsees who put themselves out there, whether in posting history or in the request description, it's probably worth putting some thought into finding a fit. If I may boldly use the OP's case, it takes 4 clicks (from this page) and under 3 minutes to find out that they don't eat sugar or meat. So if they'd come home to a bag of jerky or a pound of assorted sweets, receiving might not have felt all that great.

I'm tempted to start a thread asking about useful techniques and best practices for finding the right balance of joys in SQ and similar situations. It's a fascinating intersection of such very MFy themes like ask/guess and EL. So why not beanplate it?
posted by wonton endangerment at 8:12 AM on November 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

So why not beanplate it?

Because the beanplating is something additional that you can do, but that, if it's required, even implicitly, is no longer a joy.

I love researching my giftees (although I didn't participate this year). I love finding the best of whatever. And when I send someone candy, it's probably some violet pastilles from the local import grocery along with the culturally interesting German lucky marzipan, plus some walnut fudge made with the recipe that I modified made in a little silicone mold in the shape of a leaf. Or something. After finding that the recipient is not allergic to nuts. And I'll throw in a little sprig of greenery from the junipers growing outside tied with a tiny red ribbon, because it's festive and smells nice and links the recipient to my actual home a little more, and it's personal to me since I take care of those junipers.

However, I don't expect that much effort from others, and I know this:

If the task is too intimidating, some people who would otherwise get happiness from participating won't be able to make themselves do it.
posted by amtho at 8:55 AM on November 16, 2016 [7 favorites]

I'm a little stressed out this year because the gifts my SQ specifically requested are very hard to find and way out of my price range. I think they were hoping they'd get someone with special connections but they didn't :( I'm just guessing at things they might like instead.
posted by thetortoise at 9:11 AM on November 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

Possibly they didn't realize how difficult the request would be. I sometimes try to imagine another user is 9 years old, or 17 years old, or has the equivalent life experience.
posted by amtho at 9:33 AM on November 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

Checking daily on progress of my giftee in the mail to my SQ. So exciting! On the downside, I see a really stupid typo in my requested note to my SQ. Sorry, SQ!! I am below Metafilter spelling and proofreading standards this year.
posted by bearwife at 10:53 AM on November 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'll just add my two cents and say that, as a first time participant, if I had known about all of the fancy over-the-top gifts OR the minimal-effort gifts, I probably wouldn't have signed up. At the moment, I'm feeling an overly-stressful urge to BUY MOAR to make it fancier, (even though I'm at the $20 limit already), along with the deep, soul-sucking fear that I'm going to get something less than fun.
posted by PearlRose at 11:14 AM on November 16, 2016

OK, there's zero reason to be afraid you'll get something less than fun.

a) It's just a slightly-more-real-than-virtual expression of camaraderie and affection from a fellow mefite. If you enjoy eating it or looking at it, that's a bonus.

b) There has never been a better opportunity to re-gift.

c) You will probably never be visited by your gifter, so you won't have to keep it on display just in case they come over.

d) Your gifter is probably insecure also. Cut them a break. They are not asking you to lie. They are not going to be like your Mom who insists that you "must" enjoy it. They are just sending you something that tells you something about themselves.
posted by amtho at 11:26 AM on November 16, 2016 [8 favorites]

Likewise, please don't feel compelled to buy "moar". It's important to me to imagine my gifter having a lovely time including whatever they like and not stressing.

Yes, the OP here enjoyed getting lots of stuff (I shop at Rancho Gordo, and that gift is clearly over the $20 limit. $20 worth is probably Secret Quonsar stuff, and the rest is more "welcome to being a vegetarian" stuff, which should be a separate holiday, probably Dec. 27 or something).

It's hard to bring so many different people together to do something like gifting, where we all have different amounts of time, experience, shopping talent, and other resources to bring. It becomes important to focus on the gift as, essentially, a gesture of love from one person to another. It's good to do the best you can, and if that doesn't include heirloom beans, just send what it does include.

Nobody wants to think of their gifter working too hard on this. Gifters need to be having fun, too! Make it work for you! Probably your recipient isn't going to judge you at all, and if they do, it's an important life lesson for _them_.
posted by amtho at 11:31 AM on November 16, 2016 [9 favorites]

Another thing if you have anxiety, look at previous thank you threads. Virtually no one is unhappy. In any given year there are like two churlish mefites and everyone else is delighted with what they get and give, so take heart.
posted by smoke at 12:36 PM on November 16, 2016 [8 favorites]

c) You will probably never be visited by your gifter, so you won't have to keep it on display just in case they come over.

I actually had a meetup at my house and one of my Quonsers was there. I think I'm probably the only MeFite who has had that happen though.

As far as I'm concerned the treat is getting a box in the mail with another MeFites name on it. Anything in the box is just gravy.

So if all else fails, just send a box of gravy.
posted by bondcliff at 1:00 PM on November 16, 2016 [28 favorites]

I'll just add my two cents and say that, as a first time participant, if I had known about all of the fancy over-the-top gifts OR the minimal-effort gifts, I probably wouldn't have signed up.

I think most people just spend ~$20 and send something they put some thought into, but not hours of agonizing. Like, I've enjoyed every gift I've ever gotten, but it's never been any grand gesture arrived at by scouring my history, nor has it been $20 worth of stuff from the impulse buy section of a gas station. If you've never done it before, trust those of us who have when we say that the fact that the box comes from a random person on the internet is almost certain to make the contents fun.

The only two wrong ways to do Quonsar are to send your gift late or if you forget to say "thank you" (either in a thread, email or a simple note through the quonczars).

Anyway, since this is the thank you thread, thanks everyone who organizes and is involved in this, it's truly a thing that increases the total happiness in the world.
posted by Gygesringtone at 1:10 PM on November 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

I just ordered my Quonsee's gift! It's very fitting but so obvious I hope they don't have one already. B-b-b-bonus: a couple of months ago I ordered a quantity of a discounted thing from meh.com to use as little gifts and it will be the perfect compliment to the main gift.

I mention the extra gift because I'd caution new gifters to not assume full retail price of every gift you hear of or that people are going to the far ends of the earth to find stuff.

I think everyone is nervous the first time! It will be fine, really :)
posted by Room 641-A at 1:31 PM on November 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

I've loved everything I've received, and definitely just the fact that a person I've never met spent any time on me at all - even buying and posting $20 of gas station stuff takes time out of someone's life - has given me great joy. Plus I love surprises, I'm seriously happy with any mystery packages.

Also, relevant.
posted by billiebee at 1:35 PM on November 16, 2016 [7 favorites]

this is the thank you thread

My bad, sorry to dilute with with things that should go in the previous thread. Or a new thread? Amtho clarified some things for me.
posted by wonton endangerment at 2:10 PM on November 16, 2016

So if all else fails, just send a box of gravy.

see, now, you SAY that, but...

(no worries 2015-quonsar-mein, I still love every last tiny thing, the walrus sends regards!!!!!!!!!!)
posted by dorian at 2:37 PM on November 16, 2016 [5 favorites]


while I dig up the mandatory yearly quonsmas QUONSAR_BUS_SHELTER_VANDALISM photo, here are a couple more old-school ones for entertainment:

Lola G <3<3<3 QUONSAR
jonmc and a dorian doing it up thuglike?
posted by dorian at 3:02 PM on November 16, 2016 [5 favorites]

Thank you all! I've gone from intimidated to inspired :)
posted by sevenyearlurk at 3:28 PM on November 16, 2016 [8 favorites]

Thank you to whitehall for my package of goodies!!! And boy did I need a pick me up.
The hexbug-reindeer pulling santa's sleigh is 1. hilarious and 2. the best cat toy ever. My cat was like, what in unholy hell is this thing. Top notch bug-like movements. Also peppermint bark and a book relevant to my interests! Delightful.

Packages from strangers are indeed the best.
posted by bobobox at 3:53 PM on November 16, 2016 [9 favorites]

Let's use the two sq MeTa threads thusly:

thank yous, anticipation, excitement, marmoset videos: here.
how-tos, logistics, mysterious statements, marmoset videos: sign-up thread.
posted by julen at 5:02 PM on November 16, 2016 [6 favorites]

Re: This Thread

My favorite part of the SQ Thank You thread is hearing about all of the wonderful gifts and stories of how they arrived at just the right time or various other wacky delivery tales. But, really, I enjoy the photos more than anything.

photos photos PHOTOS PHOTOS!

We love photos!
posted by MsVader at 6:46 AM on November 17, 2016 [6 favorites]


I love seeing people's quonses and I also love seeing people sharing things I sent.
There was an instagram tag last year?
Maybe it was #quonsmas2015
Maybe it was #SecretQuonsar
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 8:58 AM on November 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

A few days ago I recieved a Very Exciting memail from tooloudinhere letting me know that I should open my quonsmas package right away instead of waiting until [holiday] due to perishables. And yesterday, the package arrived and I opened it, and it is delightful!

Tooloudinhere sent me some excellent and cozy mittens, a little sloth toy (which apparently is delicious) and many ginger molasses cookies plus a recipe for them (they are definitely delicious and I suspect I will be making them sooner rather than later). There was also an excellent Nic Cage card. All pictured here except the cookies.

Thank you tooloudinhere for a lovely gift!
posted by insectosaurus at 11:02 AM on November 18, 2016 [6 favorites]

My Quonsmas present was the very best. Super sweet, and it brightened my day. And then I misplaced it, so I can't call you out by username, but you know who you are. Thank you so much!
posted by aniola at 11:21 AM on November 18, 2016 [4 favorites]

I am glad you included photos, insectosaurus, because my brain read that as a Nick *Cave* card and I was jealous.
posted by headnsouth at 11:38 AM on November 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

Aniola, that was me! Yay!! I'm now filled with the warm fuzzies of a successful Quonsmas. :-)
posted by ilovewinter at 1:21 PM on November 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

It was a dark and stormy night. I revealed my Kryptonite to my quonsar and they threw me in the briar patch. By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Worvan, they shall be thanked!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:58 PM on November 18, 2016 [9 favorites]

Eeeeeeeeeeee! Last week I received a note from the QuonsElves that my gifts would be arriving from the vendors separately. The Amazon one came first, and then I waited for the Redbubble one before I opened them.

You guys, I was completely spoiled by cozenedindigo, who not only gifted me with a NYT Crossword Puzzle calendar, but also a notebook with "Retribution Paladin" on it!

I will use the heck out of the calendar, since I didn't renew my NYT crossword app subscription. And in World of Warcraft, I keep track of things like my pally's stat priority on a hastily scrawled index card. NO MORE.

Thank you, cozenedindigo, for a thoughtful and generous Quonsmas gift!!
posted by kimberussell at 4:11 PM on November 18, 2016 [8 favorites]

Right on time per the quonsmas elves email I received a box of
magic from ChuraChura! Thank you so much! I had just texted my sister that I was feeling down again and this turned around my evening :) The pencils made me squawk laugh and I startled one of the bunnies.
posted by brilliantine at 6:09 PM on November 18, 2016 [6 favorites]

Yay! Glad you liked everything kimberussell :)
posted by cozenedindigo at 6:46 PM on November 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hooray! A very merry quonsmas to you and yours!
posted by ChuraChura at 6:48 PM on November 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

My SO walked in the door the other day with a box under his arm. All he had to say was "it's for you" and I was filled with quonsmas joy! Thank you quonsar, for the yummy looking chocolate bar, amazing smelling bath salts, and new card game! It's a super stressful time at work right now so sitting in a bath of lavender and chamomile will be so relaxing! And, we have a game night planned for December so we can give Timeline a whirl.

To my quonsee, I'm working on getting everything together and will hopefully be sending soon! Merry Quonsmas everyone!
posted by Nolechick11 at 8:11 PM on November 18, 2016 [6 favorites]

fair-play, what I sent is only one 2D squid-cephalopod and one 3D octopus, so in truth I can't exactly claim "OCTOPODES!", but, damn-son, quonsee-mei'm, I still tried.

I had a weird day of running around the village and missing my bus home but got the surprisingly-serendipitous quonsmas-nonsense out into the ether. ?and got to sit around for an extra hour drinking greyhounds? ??and watching a local film about climate change??

last local bay scallops of the year

last local littlenecks of the year

obligatory NYC bus shelter vandalism: scooby-Q 'wo büssu?
posted by dorian at 1:57 AM on November 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

An amazing enquonsening from tipsyBumblebee! First off, my wife and daughter, who have become just as emotionally invested in Quonsmas as I have over the years, were delighted that the gift was addressed to "Rock Steady and Family". Secondly, the extremely tempting selection of ice cream toppings are begging for me to make some homemade ice cream, which I haven't done in too long, so thanks for the inspiration! Gourmet local chocolate, adorable Mochi, giant Pocky (already a fave of my daughter's) and very exciting Marion berry syrup!

Thank you, tipsyBumblebee!
posted by Rock Steady at 7:38 AM on November 19, 2016 [14 favorites]

My doorbell went this morning for a delivery and I was deeply confused because I hadn't ordered anything but lo, it was two books from my Goodreads list from my exceptionally organised quonsar which is basically the BEST kind of surprise parcel, particularly when you've just handed in your first assignment of term and don't have another one to start until next week. Thank you quonsar! I am delighted!

I just need to take my quonsee's parcel to the post office now...
posted by theseldomseenkid at 12:56 PM on November 19, 2016 [3 favorites]

My Quonsmas Elf is super delightful, although the elf's identity is unknown to me. (There was a name on the box, but I am not sure that it corresponds to a Mefite.) In case, I received my most favorite tea (genmaicha, hooray!) and John Crowley's Little, Big which I have not read and I am very much looking forward to starting. (From the blurb, it looks like it might be along the same lines as Helprin's Winter's Tale, which I read recently and loved.)

Thank you so much, quonsar! Merry quonsmas everyone!
posted by minsies at 1:59 PM on November 19, 2016 [6 favorites]

Dear Quonsar,

Lately, it's been hard not to feel like the universe is stacking up against us. I've been seeing signs of it everywhere. I even found a Jack Chick tract called "Look Out!" today. Ominous stuff.

And then I came home and my Quonsmas gifts had arrived. And among the fantastic book and the handmade Public Enemy magnets and the t-shirt and the founding fathers postcard, was a packet of tiny plastic toys.

I love tiny plastic toys! I love them so much that I tend to pocket them whenever I find them, and hang onto them. There was one night in particular, a few months ago, that I count as one of the best nights of my life, when I was hanging out with a bunch of my best friends at a bar, having the time of my life for no particular reason. It was my birthday and the waitress brought me a cocktail with a candle in it, and it was garnished with a tiny plastic toy. Specifically, a tiny plastic orange ninja figurine with a throwing star. It sits on my dresser, and I see it every day, and it makes me happy.

And then I looked into the package of tiny plastic toys you sent me, and in it was a tiny plastic blue ninja with a pair of swords. The fraternal twin to my ninja, who is a souvenir of a time when I felt so safe and loved and happy.

You couldn't possibly have known about that night and that tiny ninja and how I felt--unless you, like Santa Claus, are actually part of an international spy agency that knows when I've been bad or good. And so I'm choosing to believe that my Quonsmas gift, in addition to being an amazingly joyful present, is also a sign from the universe that everything is going to be okay.
posted by decathecting at 7:40 PM on November 19, 2016 [65 favorites]

Also, I would never have bought molasses-ginger caramels for myself, but thanks to my quonsar I now know they are THE BEST THING EVER.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:29 PM on November 20, 2016 [3 favorites]

My Quonsar reached out to me last week to let me know a package was on the way - it's tracking says it will be delivered today, which is perfect timing, as we just moved this weekend.

So excited!! Thanks, thomas j wise. I will anxiously check the mail and report back!
posted by needlegrrl at 7:03 AM on November 21, 2016

Much thanks to my Quonsar (Martinx's bellbottoms) for the delightful cat themed gifts--a sushi cat keychain, and a "handicat" finger puppet. My cats were mostly confused, but since I got them after getting home after a very long transatlantic flight, they induced much giggling and were very gratefully received.

Thank you again!!
posted by damayanti at 8:09 AM on November 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

I'm super psyched that I managed to finish and send out my secret quonsar gift before the deadline this year. It went in the mail today, yay! This is the most intense part... waiting for the mail to arrive!
posted by gemmy at 8:46 AM on November 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

It came, it came!

Thank you, thomas j wise! It is all fabulous! (and the moss is preserved, not something I have to keep alive. phew!)

I love everything - especially my cute owl and sign. Squee!
posted by needlegrrl at 12:03 PM on November 21, 2016 [9 favorites]

I got my package today and I really needed something nice in my life today! I got two amazing-sounding flavors of tea from a tea place I'm not familiar with, so I don't only get the tea, I also get a new place to BUY tea! Thank you!!!
posted by oblique red at 3:41 PM on November 21, 2016 [6 favorites]

Thanks so much to cheapskatebay for my new Wario amiibo. Now, I know what you're probably thinking. "But Servo, Nintendo released a Wario amiibo years ago" and yes they did, but that was Wario in his biker outfit from the WarioWare series. The one true Wario is the classic purple and yellow overalls look that's a clear knock-off of Mario's iconic outfit. Nintendo just released a proper Wario amiibo with those clothes earlier this month and now thanks to cheapskatebay that Wario can stand next to Kirby and Pac-Man on my desk.
posted by Servo5678 at 5:54 PM on November 21, 2016 [5 favorites]

Happy Quonsmas, Ninternet! Today, I received an email from my apartment management saying there was a package at the front desk. Usually I can't make it back from work before the office closes, but today the receptionist was staying a half-hour late. It was fate. I busted out of my seminar 10 minutes early, and dashed for the train. But there were dastardly dangers and enchanted tasks along the way. The train was delayed by a fire-breathing dragon (police activity), and I had to drop my Quonsee's gift in the mail, too. All ended well when I slipped into the front office just before it closed to pick up the package from umwhat.

And what a package! Thank you so much, umwhat. I love having a cup of tea before bed, and mint will be just the thing tonight. The chocolate looks delicious. I can't wait to break into it. And lets be honest, smoked paprika makes everything better. Umwhat even sent a frog for my dog, Grimm! He's the happiest dog tonight (and definitely not about to give Frog Legs up) . Happy Quonsmas to all!
posted by MrBobinski at 6:32 PM on November 21, 2016 [11 favorites]

I got mine!! I hadn't checked the mail today until 10pm and as I went out in 30 degree weather barefoot I said to myself "there better be something good" and oh my word there was!!
Thank you goes out to minsies! There was so much stuff in that little package! A sweet card, pins and map from the Mütter Museum(hellacool!), a MLP/Doctor Who sticker, squished pennies (which I so lov collecting!) and a copy of Saga! It truely was a Quonsmas Miracle!
posted by ShawnString at 7:29 PM on November 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

Nothing like a Quomas Gift to lift the spirits. After a bad commute I arrived at my office to an unexpected package on my desk. There was no note, but I know it's from you Secret Quonsar. For who, but you, would think to send me a custom mustachioed towel? No one, that's who. Because only Quonmas is ever this awesome.

Thank you mysterious internet stranger mefite friend.
posted by zinon at 4:31 AM on November 22, 2016 [9 favorites]

I had a weird quonsmas scare yesterday when the postman tried to deliver a parcel with the correct address but a name that I didn't recognise, and I was to-ing and fro-ing over whether that was my present, but I'm glad I didn't accept delivery, because mine came today! And I'm so delighted! Just this guy, y'know, you are a quonsing rock star!

On the 12th day of Quonsmas*, my quonsar sent to me:

12 coloured chalks
An 11 quote on pencil
10 pink umbrellas
9mm inkstamps
8 paper tapes
7 hundred stickers
6 scented markers
Eeeeaaaarl Greeeeeeey Teeeeaaaa
"For Chalk" labels
3 sheets of stars
2 hundred eyes
And an elf you can colour yourself!

Thank you, Just this guy, y'know, it made my day to see the thought you'd put into the whole experience. At one point I laughed so loud that I scared the baby! Seriously, so delightful.

*I had every intention of spacing out the unwrapping of my gifts, but once I opened the first, I fell into a fugue state and woke up 5 minutes later surrounded by paper and cute stationery. Every little message written on the wrapping paper was so charming that I really couldn't help myself.
posted by catch as catch can at 12:12 PM on November 22, 2016 [26 favorites]

On the 12th day of Quonsmas*, my quonsar sent to me:

Ok, this whole thing is just stupid adorable. Nice job JTG,YK!
posted by phunniemee at 1:09 PM on November 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

This is my first secret quonsar! I haven't opened everything in my box yet, but Amelliferae sent me some excellent things: a very sweet card, some "toast dope" which is some delicious-looking stuff that I plan on sprinkling all over everything I eat until it's gone, a calming chocolate bar, some tea (which happens to be from my favorite tea company which also happens to be owned by a friend of a friend), another box I am saving for tomorrow, AND two catnip fish, which pony pulled out of the box himself.
posted by dizziest at 3:23 PM on November 22, 2016 [5 favorites]

All right, which o' you MeFites sent me a Crystal Gems mug? Because that sucker is awesome and is coming to work with me (where it will match my Garnet figurine swimmingly!). Thank you! Please solve my mystery!
posted by bowtiesarecool at 3:57 PM on November 22, 2016 [5 favorites]

bobobox sent me these incredibly awesome coasters!! I'm geeking out over the eye anatomy, and the package came right when I was feeling really down about the election and the future of science in general. Hooray first quonsmas!
posted by nicodine at 4:15 PM on November 22, 2016 [7 favorites]

Thank you to amapolaroja, who is a beautiful librarian (YAY LIBRARIANS) for a beautiful jigsaw puzzle my son and I are going to put together as soon as he's on break from school. She assures me there is another gift coming, from Etsy, which how can that be bad.

Merry Quonsmas to all!
posted by kostia at 4:47 PM on November 22, 2016 [5 favorites]

bowtiesarecool: Tracking said it would be delivered tomorrow! Surprises all around! I'm glad it arrived safely and hope you enjoy it!
posted by aabbbiee at 5:48 PM on November 22, 2016

I was apparently overly keen to come in and say thank you; I've had two more books, which is extremely generous of my quonsar! I have your actual name but not your Metafilter name, so I don't know who I'm thanking, but thank you so much!
posted by theseldomseenkid at 3:33 AM on November 23, 2016 [4 favorites]

SOMEbody just got Quonsed!!!!!
posted by wenestvedt at 8:13 AM on November 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

I spoke too soon, gifts will have to go out on Friday.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:35 AM on November 23, 2016

Put mine in the mail yesterday, I'm told it will be two whole weeks before it is delivered! So, you know, this thread has to keep going for at least two more weeks!
posted by Secretariat at 9:56 AM on November 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

I am very thankful for nicodine's wonderful Quonsmas gift! The swim giggles and towel are much appreciated.

Also, it turns out she lives in the same town where my sister went to graduate school and later was on the local university faculty, which is super cool!

AND I had an armload of Thanksgiving booze and was approaching my front door when my mail delivery person approached and kindly (and gently) deposited my fabulous gift on tip of all the beer and wine. It was an armload of Thanksgiving/Quonsmas cheer!

Thank you!
posted by cheapskatebay at 12:42 PM on November 23, 2016 [5 favorites]

I have quonsed! I was worried I wouldn't be able to when a fraudulent charge forced me to deactivate my credit card and order a replacement. Not to worry, though. I have alternate means in the meantime.


I got quonsed! bunnysquirrel continued my three-year streak of getting Cthulhu-themed card games, but this one ("Do You Worship Cthulhu?") is my first mafia/werewolf style game, just in time for a big games-n-turkey shindig tomorrow. Also Punderdome, which may be dangerous in my mitts.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:06 PM on November 23, 2016 [5 favorites]

I have posted my quonsoning! It will probably take for-bloody-ever to arrive, though, since Google Maps tells me my quonsmasee lives 16,843.43 km (10,466.03 mi) from my house.

I'm enjoying mining this thread for gift suggestions for family and friends too.
posted by lollusc at 12:11 AM on November 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have been quonsed!!

I arrived home from work to see a box waiting in the doorway for me. I have received a wonderful box full of sweets from a faraway land (England). My husband and I will probably gorge ourselves this weekend sampling all the different types. A friend of mine has told me that Munchies are world changing so they might be the first to be eaten although I may try and save some for her as she's visiting next weekend.

Thank you so much semi anonymous Quonsar! (sorry, I can't quite make out your name on the postcard you included).
posted by poxandplague at 2:02 AM on November 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

I have been Quonsed!! Wenestvedt sent me a lovely package with local-to-him goodies: coffee that smells absolutely amazing and something called Eclipse Coffee Syrup, which proclaims itself "the official state drink of Rhode Island" and which I am VERY eager to try. Wenestvedt, thank you so much! What a lovely day.
posted by SeedStitch at 10:29 AM on November 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

I finally figured out what to buy for a quonsmas gift! Items are on their way to me, and as soon as I get them, they will be on their way to the quonsee. :)
posted by firei at 12:04 PM on November 25, 2016

And in the cosmic nature of the Quonsoning, I've been quonsed! :) Many many thanks to Kerning for the "Sexy Librarian" candle - while I'm not quite there yet, I'm a sexy librarian-in-training, so it's perfect! :) I've actually been tempted to buy from Frostbeard Studios for myself in the past but could never justify it, so I'm delighted to receive this gift!

Thank you thank you thank you! Merry Quonsmas to all and to all a good night.
posted by firei at 12:46 PM on November 25, 2016 [5 favorites]

My quonsee's gift shipped today. It is extremely mysterious and I hope Pyry likes it!
posted by kostia at 1:04 PM on November 25, 2016

Dropped my Quonsmas gift off at the post office this morning! I'll be eagerly tracking its progress across sea and land.
posted by atropos at 1:52 PM on November 25, 2016

OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE QUONSMAS. My Quonsar made me cry because he is awesome.

bondcliff, I am... I don't want to say "speechless" because then you're going to expect me to write a song for you, and I will very definitely say that my gift to you would be not singing anywhere you could hear me, but your gift is so, so, so appreciated, especially right now.

I opened the box to find a ReadMe.txt, which described his panic at the girly descriptors I used in my write-up (hee, sorry, I'll be aware of that next time!), but said that he was suddenly inspired when he saw that I have a spontaneously growing collection of owl-related items. I carefully unwrapped the packing paper to find this glorious, wonderful, seriously awesome owl-shaped jewelry box, that he made from scratch. And the drawers are lined with felt! I love it too much to hide it in my bedroom, so for now, at least, it is perched on my bookshelf, and I think the owl plus the sun mask look properly like they're watching over me.

bondcliff, it has been a year of personal... challenges, let's say... in a lot of ways for me, and these last few weeks have been extremely upsetting at both a national and an extremely personal level, and I've been struggling a bit to stay aware that there is goodness in the world. This? This is SO MUCH GOODNESS. My cats are giving me concerned looks over how much I'm crying right now.

It looks like you've previously linked your blog on MeFi, so I'm going to go ahead and share the link you also sent that describes how you made the owl, because it's impressive and inspiring. Thank you thank you thank you so much. Just... thank you.
posted by lazuli at 3:49 PM on November 25, 2016 [74 favorites]

YOU got that owl box?! Dang, I watched it grow on Twitter, and it is gorgeous!!
posted by wenestvedt at 4:07 PM on November 25, 2016 [8 favorites]

I forgot to mention that he hid little bits of paper in the drawers with information about how he made the owl. I didn't see that the top drawer opened until I was re-reading the blog post, though, and so I just opened that to see that the paper there was a receipt for a donation to the ACLU, since "this was made entirely with scrap wood" and "technically didn't cost [him] anything." Now I'm crying happy tears again. bondcliff, you are a good soul.
posted by lazuli at 4:10 PM on November 25, 2016 [48 favorites]

which described his panic at the girly descriptors I used in my write-up (hee, sorry, I'll be aware of that next time!)

Oh no, there was nothing at all wrong with your descriptors it's just that I, personally, had no idea what to do with them. Anyone else would have been fine with them. Seriously, I've been married 19 years and I think I've bought my wife three pieces of jewelry and the only time I buy her clothing is when she leaves the L.L. Bean Catalog open on the back of a toilet with something circled and "YOU SHOULD BUY ME THIS IN FOREST GREEN FOR CHRISTMAS" written on it. We're subtle that way.

I'm glad you liked it, Lazuli. As I said I had fun making it and I learned a lot in the process.

I was raised by an Irish Catholic mother and the only part of the religion that stuck, other than my love of a good cracker, is the guilt. So I do want to reiterate that I'm not an artist and that design isn't original. I knew I wanted to make an owl-shaped bandsaw box, I did some Googling, and that was a design I liked so I copied it. That probably doesn't make it any less enjoyable for you, and doesn't make me any less proud to have built it, but I feel like I can't not mention that here.

Lots of goodness in this thread alone. Goodness ain't going anywhere. Enjoy!
posted by bondcliff at 5:37 PM on November 25, 2016 [41 favorites]

I shipped, I am so glad I did.
posted by Oyéah at 5:47 PM on November 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

@firei yayyyy i'm so glad you liked the candle! you have one more package coming, but it's just a couple of little things from one of my favorite etsy shops :) happy quonsmas! <3
posted by kerning at 6:35 PM on November 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh, SeedStitch, I am so glad you like it!

The coffee is roasted in Pawtucket, RI, by a total mensch named Rik; that blend is named after one of his darling girls. If you ever come to Rhode Island, I will buy you a cup at his cafe. :7)

Note that I think coffee milk is...a bit too sweet for me -- but it is the state drink, so I had to send you some. Note further that there is a bit of a divide over whether Eclipse or Autocrat is the better version. I was not raised here so I have no favorite, but MeFites from Little Rhodey could help you build a prejudice if you want. :7)
posted by wenestvedt at 7:04 PM on November 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

I found the last wee bits I wanted to include tonight after visiting possibly my most favorite gift shop in the world (Wildcard). Planning on mailing tomorrow and boy am I excited!
posted by miratime at 8:15 PM on November 25, 2016

I got my present!!! A very beautiful necklace that I am excited to wear! No idea of the username of the giver, but you have my sincerest thanks--it was nice to come home to a lovely, natural piece after a not-great holiday.

My gift was delivered yesterday, which was maybe not ideal, and I will now send a Memail about it!
posted by leesh at 11:32 AM on November 26, 2016 [9 favorites]

I love my awesome gifts from leesh -- and I really enjoyed shopping for my quonsee, too! Her gift is going in the mail on Monday, and I hope she likes what I picked! Definitely a successful first Secret Quonsar experience for me. (Well, assuming my giftee's package doesn't get lost in the mail or something...)
posted by trillian at 11:59 AM on November 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

I have been anony-quonsed! I am adding to my very tiny collection of eurogames this delightful-looking and appropriately thematic card game, Bohnanza, where it seems the gameplay involves collecting, trading, and definitely overthinking... beans.
Merry Quonsmas and many, many thanks to my secret Quonsar!
posted by ApathyGirl at 1:01 PM on November 26, 2016 [7 favorites]

^ eponysterical!
posted by mochapickle at 3:05 PM on November 26, 2016 [7 favorites]

I'm so happy 'cuz I never get to say it! Happy quonsmas to all!
posted by mochapickle at 3:27 PM on November 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Hooray, glad everything is still tasty after spending Tofurkey Day in USPS limbo!
posted by esoterrica at 3:29 PM on November 26, 2016

Thank you Samuel B. H. from Valdosta GA, whoever you are on Metafilter.

The sheet of Jim Henson stamps is a *perfect* gift. The fact that the back of each has an in character quote was icing on the felt cake.

"Dear Postal Carrier,
On behalf of dogs everywhere,
sorry about that.

posted by DigDoug at 5:20 PM on November 26, 2016 [7 favorites]

ApathyGirl, that was me. I'm so glad you liked it. I'm amazed it arrived so fast!
Joyful (and now less-Secret) Quonsmas!
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:53 PM on November 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I got back home last night after a long day of travelling to find some packages in my pile of mail! One seemed to contain one (1) single pencil, shipped from China. A bit odd, but oh hey, it was sent to the wrong address. (I have SO many questions about this, and am real tempted to break some federal laws, but I am very rule-abiding, so absolutely will not. SO TEMPTED THOUGH, why 1 pencll?? Is it drugs or something? It took A MONTH to get to the US!)

I also had something from Amazon that I didn't remember ordering, and, a mystery envelope. They were, respectively, the 'Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream Desserts' cookbook, and a gift certificate to Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream! Whaaaat. Damayanti was able to guess that ice cream is one of my favorite foods, and had no idea of knowing that I have a girl's night out planned in Wicker Park in a few weeks, where there is a Jeni's store, and I'll be able to treat some of my friends. Super yay.

Thank you so much Damayanti! What an excellent surprise to come home to. Happy Quonsmas!
posted by Fig at 7:32 AM on November 27, 2016 [11 favorites]

Yay for my secret quonsar gift!!

I got a super warm 11th Doctor Who robe which is great because we keep the house kinda chilly and I am always walking around with blankets or other wrap-type clothing items on and can always use more of that type of thing. Plus I received an excellent Star Wars Yoda mug which I will lovingly hand wash so it doesn't lose its heat changing properties. Most people have too many mugs, but I am really bad about breaking mugs so I never have enough.

Thank you TigerMoth! I promise to be extra careful with my Yoda mug.

And now my quonsee's gift is making me guilty because I've had it all ready to go since Wednesday, but I haven't made it to the post office yet... I will mail it Monday!
posted by ephemerista at 8:08 AM on November 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

I have been quonsed! I've been away since Tuesday, and I returned home today to find a small package waiting patiently in the mailbox. It was filled with some truly delicious chocolates (um, no, I absolutely did not tear into them at 10:30 in the morning, no sir), as well as a lovely note with some pictures. I don't have a username to thank (just a real name)... so thank you, whoever you are! You were not wrong about these chocolates; they are amazing, and they will surely vanish quicker than a recently unboxed marmoset.

My own quonsee's gift will be in the mail tomorrow(!)—I'll be in town to have my teeths looked at, and will stop by the post office after my appointment.
posted by cellar door at 8:24 AM on November 27, 2016 [4 favorites]

Thanks to Mr Bobinski, I have a knit penguin named Murray who stands next to my Fleury bobblehead! And some great chocolate and some rice and really neat drawing! So cool!!!!
posted by beaning at 12:40 PM on November 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

Guys, whoever borrowed the Marmoset from the zoo needs to return it now.
posted by poxandplague at 4:20 PM on November 27, 2016 [11 favorites]

Thank you, Munching Langolier, for the crossword book and enough pencils that I can just scatter them throughout the house near anywhere I might want to puzzle. The map card is really cute and I'm guessing it's your neighborhood which is really fun.
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:38 PM on November 27, 2016 [4 favorites]

I was so excited today to come home and find a mysterious package awaiting me, marked with a sender's address in the Seychelles! I carefully carried it inside, wondering what my quonsmas gift would turn out to be, and then when I opened it, it was a phone case I had ordered off ebay ages ago and forgotten about AND it turned out to be the wrong size and didn't fit my phone.

The disappointment will make my quonsmas parcel all the sweeter when it arrives.
posted by lollusc at 1:56 AM on November 28, 2016 [20 favorites]

I shipped my SQ parcel to Australia on Wednesday, and promptly forgot to tell anyone about it. However, I just checked the tracking information, and it has arrived in Australia! It's on its way!

I will email my SQ with the tracking number, in case they can track it within Australia.
posted by needlegrrl at 6:41 AM on November 28, 2016

I am ever so slowly, after reconstructive knuckle surgery on my dominant hand, getting my quonsee's gift wrapped and in the mail before the deadline. I promise!!!
posted by Sophie1 at 7:56 AM on November 28, 2016 [5 favorites]

My Secret Quonsar did not reveal their identity!! Whoever you are, thank you for the gorgeous yarn -- 2400 yards of laceweight, in my favorite colors!! (I've been hugging the skein since I opened the package.) And chocolates, mmmmmmm!! Thank you so much!

(And to my Secret Quonsee, your package was mailed this afternoon!)
posted by sarcasticah at 1:10 PM on November 28, 2016 [7 favorites]

OMG Margalo Epps! What an amazing Quonsing - thank you!

My gift was a fantastic shipment of unusual snacks, and a personalized mix CD that I can't wait to dig into. =)

(Mabel and Dipper were very intrigued by all the interesting smells, but being cats, appreciated the box most of all!)

Once again, thank you so much! I'm utterly delighted.
posted by miratime at 1:55 PM on November 28, 2016 [4 favorites]

I just mailed mine! Dear Secret Quonsee, I hope you like it! The stars even aligned for me to get it in the mail today instead of tomorrow.
posted by modernhypatia at 2:15 PM on November 28, 2016

It's been more difficult to get to the PO than I expected but the package is ready to go and will go out in the next few days, before the deadline for sure. Sorry for the delay, I hope it will be worth the wait.
posted by Room 641-A at 2:31 PM on November 28, 2016

posted by ocherdraco at 2:45 PM on November 28, 2016

*quivers with anticipation*
posted by wenestvedt at 3:35 PM on November 28, 2016

I've been quonsed! I arrived home today to find this lovely tea box with matching spoon. Thank you so much, Secret Quonsar! Harper likes it too.
posted by capricorn at 4:26 PM on November 28, 2016 [6 favorites]

Katieanne, thank you for the gorgeous hand-dyed screen-printed mushroom napkins! I am dazzled by both your excellent taste in finding something so perfect and your superior punctuality in getting them here before Thanksgiving. High fives to Internet strangers for once again seeming to know me better than people who actually know me, reaffirming that there are excellent people out there (especially this year), and reawakening my childish joy of the holidays. (P.S. And I do read banned books; how did you know?)
posted by teditrix at 5:02 PM on November 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

hand-dyed screen-printed mushroom napkins!

Need pics.
posted by mudpuppie at 6:09 PM on November 28, 2016 [5 favorites]

I am very late coming here to thank jasper411 for the seriously amazing quonsar package that arrived last week! There's coffee and tea and chocolate and cat socks and a DIY watercolor postcard book and a phrenology head rubber stamp and tiny fingers to put on my finger and a silly party hat on a hair clip which is not a thing I would ever think I wanted or needed but I laughed so hard in delight about that hat on a hair clip. Everything was so perfectly chosen for me and the whole package was such a good time to go through. My life has been not very fun the last few weeks and that package was such a wonderful bright spot!

Tonight I finally taped up the quonsar package I'm mailing out tomorrow, which means I'm no longer on quonsar probation and can start tearing into all my new goodies! Thank you so much, jasper411!
posted by jessypie at 6:16 PM on November 28, 2016 [7 favorites]

I may have been quonsed. But I'm not sure! I received a package today from an artisanal book-making shop in Portland, OR, called Ex Libris Anonymous. Contained within is an intriguing handmade journal with a hardcover book's "rescued" cover for Mechanix Illustrated How-To-Do-It Encyclopedia, and interspersed with the blank pages are 1961-era instructions for tasks like "How to Sail," "Calking," and "Cabana."

It's a delightfully novel journal, and if it is from my Secret Quonsar, I'd love to thank them, but I have no idea who sent it. The only thing inside the package, other than the book, is the proprietor's business card, and when I contacted him, he said he could only tell me that the purchaser wrote, ""This is a secret Santa type of gift -- if possible, do not show my name and address on the receipt." (There wasn't a receipt.)

I'd love to express my gratitude more directly if it is, indeed, from my SQ (and not from any of my other, mysterious, circles).
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 9:17 PM on November 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

Oooh, more uncertainty: the address on the package is not exactly the address I gave Julen, but it's possible the USPS bar coding thingie changed it to a preferred format. Anyone willing to fess up?
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 9:20 PM on November 28, 2016

I received a note not to leave my quonsar gift in the sun. This brought back memories of the time I bought gourmet chocolate on vacation in August as a souvenir and let it get all melted. Those were bad memories I had buried deep down, but in this occasioned I was heartened as I thought "I wonder if it's really good chocolate!"

Reader, it was really good chocolate! Truffle style. Since I'm a sugar addict I will only very rarely purchase such things for myself and it is a truly special treat when someone else gives me an excuse. I broke out the box at the tail end of a post-Thanksgiving brunch, shared it with my guests, and savored the remainder through the day.

Thank you kindly, secret quonsar gift-giver!
posted by mark k at 10:14 PM on November 28, 2016 [4 favorites]

I put my Quonsee's gift in the post yesterday, which means that now I get to switch focus from stalking their MeFi comments for ideas, to stalking the post.nl track and trace page to watch its progress. Eeeeeeeeeee!
posted by sldownard at 11:21 PM on November 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

I'm a little stressed out this year because the gifts my SQ specifically requested are very hard to find and way out of my price range. I think they were hoping they'd get someone with special connections but they didn't

I just wanted to respond to stress to say not to worry at all about it. A lot of us with weird hobbies often ask for hobby supplies (for example, I quilt and often ask for maybe fabric) but it is entirely because Metafilter is a high-hobby-proportion place and the odds of someone happening to participate in the same hobby and being able to just take something out of their scrap box and putting it in are very good. Whereas it would be a pain in the ass and probably expensive for a non-quilter to just send a bunch of random squares, you know? Don't think anyone is Expecting Enormous Expensive Things. As you can see from the thread everyone is pretty delighted!
posted by corb at 12:22 AM on November 29, 2016 [8 favorites]

What a lovely and thoughtful gift pack. Sea salt flakes, flavoured dulse, chocolate assortment, a walking ostrich postcard, a pinko magnet and some Fisherman lip care balm. And just when I needed a boost in spirit. There really is a Quonsar! Thanks!
posted by Hardcore Poser at 2:16 AM on November 29, 2016 [7 favorites]

My gift arrived, from Denmark! And it's like a Super Deluxe version! It has everything! If you don't believe, here's photo evidence. Even the pups are flabbergasted!

I'm eating a delicious Honningkage for lunch right now, because I have the impulse control of a 5 year old. In addition to that I received, in no specific order: A "byg selv brunkagenhus"(DIY gingerbread house), a bottle of Ruby Glögg and raisins and almonds that go into it (with instructions how to make it), a cute AND handy puncture repair kit for my bicycle (someone's obviously looked at my profile!), a lovely Moleskin gardening journal (this will bring my gardening efforts to the next level, chickens beware!), and a little zippered organizing bag/storage thingy, which as it happens is just the right size to store my knitting project in.

Thank you, anonymous Secret Quonsar from Denmark, for a very thoughtful gift pack that really made my day!
posted by sively at 5:30 AM on November 29, 2016 [10 favorites]

I'm glad you liked it Hardcore Poser! Happy Quonsmas :)
posted by sevenyearlurk at 6:25 AM on November 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

I got a book! It's a really great book, too: "Bold Spirit: Helga Estby's Forgotten Walk", about an immigrant woman's 3500-mile walk from eastern Washington State to NYC back in 1896 --- thanks, aniola, I'm really enjoying it!
posted by easily confused at 7:21 AM on November 29, 2016 [6 favorites]

hey modernhypatia!

Im outing myself to let you know your package is being picked up today! Im usually on top of this kinda thing and feel bad its cutting it so close, but damn 2016 has been a..interesting year. Enjoy!
posted by ShawnString at 8:39 AM on November 29, 2016

So I got a lovely package last night from the fabulous CheeseLouise! Pralines, for my sweet tooth (I let my husband have one but he's not getting any more), plus a scented candle (not flowery, yay!) and a lip balm. How did you know I'm a lip balm addict? I don't think I said so in my info. Anyway, it gave me a huge lift after a kind of shitty day. Thank you so much! Happy Quonsar!
posted by holborne at 8:41 AM on November 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

OYEAH! A package arrived yesterday, awesomely heavy and veritably SWINGING with SWAG! First and foremost, of course, the BEAUTIFUL artwork-- so richly colorful and serene and just what was needed to bring some comfort and hope and peace after this year! An inspiration to keep the Earth and its living things in our thoughts and in our hands. You are amazingly talented and I will cherish this always!!

And further on the nature side, SUCH a collection of knowledge; field guides to just about everything under the sun (and beyond! Stars too!); these are definitely going to be part of my in-car daily-carries, to demystify the trees and flowers and birds and stars! And everything individually wrapped so beautifully, in lovely hand-decorated paper!

This Quonsmas gift makes me feel just so... -thought after-, and cared about, and considered, and that's really what Quonsmas is all about-- and what a GREAT feeling that is! Thank you thank you THANK YOU!! :) :) :)
posted by The otter lady at 9:59 AM on November 29, 2016 [7 favorites]

I placed an online order for my Quonsee's gift from a local business today. The order form was very basic, so in the notes field I told them it was a gift and asked them not to include a receipt. I just got an email from the business owner verifying that they wouldn't include a receipt and asking me if I would like them to enclose a note.

I can't tell you how long I stared at the words I typed, "Happy Quonsmas from mudpuppie," while trying to think of an explanation -- because those words pretty much require an explanation -- and an explanation that didn't make me sound completely insane, at that.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:52 AM on November 29, 2016 [27 favorites]

Ha. And when the business owner wrote back to tell me she'd included the note in the package, she closed with "Have a Happy Quonsmas!"
posted by mudpuppie at 11:32 AM on November 29, 2016 [42 favorites]

Mark K, you're very welcome! Your list was a wonderful thing for me, because I picked the thing for you that I would have liked best for myself. I'm very glad you enjoyed the chocolates! Happy Quonsmas.
posted by SeedStitch at 11:43 AM on November 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

Thank you, Smoke!

At the end of a long day there are few sights as encouraging as a package from Australia with a customs declaration sticker saying "Contents: 1kg of chocolate."

<3 <3 <3
posted by the latin mouse at 11:55 AM on November 29, 2016 [13 favorites]

Wow that got there way faster than I thought it would, huzzah! Hope you like it. :)
posted by smoke at 12:08 PM on November 29, 2016

Dearest Quonsar,

Did you get me quite possibly the most AWESOME GLASSWARE SET EVER?

Like the one that showed up on my doorstep this morning right before I left for work?

There was no gift note, but it came from someone out of state, from the ThinkGeek warehouse here in Louisville, and your initials according to the packing slip would be AC from Briarwood.

You're a fucking awesome person. Hit up my MeMail (or post in here) so I can shower thanks upon you.



P.S. My quonsee is getting her gift bought and shipped about 100 miles away tomorrow-ish. Stay tuned.
posted by deezil at 6:27 PM on November 29, 2016 [9 favorites]

Deezil, that was me! How weird that they didn't include the gift note I'd written but I'm glad I found your post here. I thought they were just such appealing glasses, and I got a kick picturing you using them for your bourbon. I am so delighted that you liked them - that made my night! Merry Quonsmas to you and all!
posted by Neely O'Hara at 7:26 PM on November 29, 2016 [5 favorites]

Quonsar!! Reveal yourself!! MefiMail me!! I want to thank you!!
posted by sarcasticah at 8:10 PM on November 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

AHHH I MAILED MINE TODAY *AND* got a message that mine should be here soon. AHHH
posted by bibliogrrl at 9:32 PM on November 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

I sent off my Quonsar gift today! I'm a little worried, as it's nowhere near as elaborate as some of these, but I tried to pick things that would suit my quonsee's tastes based on the limited information available.
I hope I got it right... now yo obsessively follow the tracking.
posted by Superplin at 9:37 PM on November 29, 2016

Follow-up: Thanks again to amapolaroja for the second part of my Quonsmas gift, a notecard with a beautiful TARDIS painting that will be hung on the wall next to my desk and not, in fact, notecarded to anyone at all. Mine!
posted by kostia at 9:41 PM on November 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

OMG! Thank you, juso no thankyou! This is the best quonsmas ever! I got a personal message on a Domo postcard, a color-your-own piggy bank, a 3D drawing pad, a cute little keychain critter, dried squid strips, pickled seaweed, pickled plums, wasabi and mochi chocolates! I see fancy bento lunches in my future!
posted by domo at 5:58 AM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

(I have been coming to this thread roughly every other morning, in order to start off my day with some good vibes. And it's working, too. Commendable Quonsmas gratitude, all!)
posted by wenestvedt at 6:14 AM on November 30, 2016 [15 favorites]

Omg omg you guys my quonsar miles per flower is the best! Not only did I receive a delightful package that included pumpkin spice, bourbon, a tiny notebook (how did you know my weakness for tiny notebooks?!) and multicolored pen, a lovely necklace, and a supercool world map that shows everything by what it's name means... It was wrapped in paper covered in anagrams of my user name!

This was my first year participating and both mailing my present out and receiving my gift filled me with joy in an otherwise barely salvageable year. Thank you.
posted by skycrashesdown at 8:53 AM on November 30, 2016 [16 favorites]

skycrashesdown the hell are people there giving you negative points??!? for awesome and mysterious photos? c'mon, those-people...

also that anagram paper is hilarious, I wish I'd thought of that lol
posted by dorian at 9:25 AM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

skycrashesdown, I’m so happy you liked the oddball assortment! Welcome to Quonsmas! (Credit where it’s due, though: the internet anagram server came up with all those anagrams. I used to do that obsessively when I had insomnia but I’m sleeping better these days.)

Thanks again to Quonczars for making this happen, and to everyone in this thread documenting these thoughtful/weirdo gifts. There’s an awful lot of needed sweetness here. Quonsmas looks good on us!

Secret Quonsar: joy in an otherwise barely salvageable year.
posted by miles per flower at 10:28 AM on November 30, 2016 [12 favorites]

If you're in PA you better grab an umbrella because I checked the forecast and there's a 100% chance of someone being quonsed this weekend. It could be YOU!

And MCMikeNamara, check your mailbox, too, because you're about to be Manilowed.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:07 AM on November 30, 2016 [7 favorites]

A Quonsmas shout-out to JanetLand, the sender of my previously-mentioned mysterious artisanal journal. We've MeMailed, but in a year like 2016, I think everyone doing a kind deed deserves a public shout-out!
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 12:10 PM on November 30, 2016 [6 favorites]

Wrapping it in old high school essays your mother found in a box in the attic? Not a good idea.

Not only do I think wrapping a quonsmas gift in high school essays is a BRILLIANT idea, I'd be thrilled if my quonsmas gift was a bunch of someone's old high school essays.
posted by congen at 1:57 PM on November 30, 2016 [13 favorites]

Not only do I think wrapping a quonsmas gift in high school essays is a BRILLIANT idea, I'd be thrilled if my quonsmas gift was a bunch of someone's old high school essays.

Duly noted for next year ... just in case.
posted by Julnyes at 2:08 PM on November 30, 2016 [8 favorites]

Kostia my intent was for it to be art but I checked the "add an envelope" option just in case...

Glad you are enjoying it.
posted by amapolaroja at 6:06 PM on November 30, 2016

Insectosaurus - I got your card and it was AMAZING! The math jokes and puns were exactly what I wanted and needed! I laughed out loud! I'll be looking out for the package from etsy, but THANK YOU! I shared some of the jokes with my dad, who was very much in need of a laugh, and they made him laugh out loud too. Thank you so much!
posted by wiskunde at 7:05 PM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

To the masked and forward-thinking person who has quonsed me with a big tin of top-shelf bittersweet hot chocolate and futuristic/artisanal bonbons, my thanks! [Insert secret quonsar salute, crisply.]

I didn't know cocktail chocolates were a thing but they are and I was glad to welcome them in on this drizzly evening at the end of a long, rough day. They look like little twisty brushed-chrome bumpercars and have ingredients like dark chocolate + lemon + rye + absinthe, each one's a different drink. It's a festive assortment that put a big smile on my face and will soon put one in my belly. Thanks again & hurrah!
posted by miles per flower at 7:50 PM on November 30, 2016 [9 favorites]

So glad you're pleased Domo!
posted by Juso No Thankyou at 4:24 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

To the masked and forward-thinking person who has quonsed me

Miles per flower, it was meeeeee! Glad you like them! It's from a shop in my neighborhood and sadly their ordering system lacked a notes field.
posted by bowtiesarecool at 5:11 AM on December 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

Aha! Thanks, bowtiesarecool! I had the sazerac & gin rickey ones last night & they were indeed excellent. Holding off on hot chocolate until it's sledding season. Nice to have an additional treat to look forward to.
posted by miles per flower at 5:44 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

skycrashesdown: Secret Quonsar: joy in an otherwise barely salvageable year.

I love this and I love this thread. Every year, but especially this one.
posted by kostia at 6:34 AM on December 1, 2016 [17 favorites]

So after a few misses with the Fed Ex delivery, I recieved my package yesterday. It turns out I needed to sign because it had alcohol! I opened it to find 5 drams of different kinds of gin/jenever.

Thank you so much Still Secret Quonsar (if there was a card, I missed it). I live in a pretty communal household, but I've made it pretty clear that these are ALL MINE.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:30 AM on December 1, 2016 [11 favorites]

I love this and I love this thread. Every year, but especially this one.

It's seriously the best. It kind of chokes me up a little. :)
posted by kimberussell at 7:34 AM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

I am taking my quonsee's gift to the post office today! 1 day ahead of schedule!

Also, to my quonser - thank you so much for the lovely note! I wanted to let you know that I'll be in San Francisco for the next 6 days, so my husbeast will take good care (and not open) any quonsmas treats and I will have something to look forward to when I arrive home!!!
posted by Sophie1 at 7:56 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I shipped my canadian quonsee's gift yesterday. The USPS said it will take 7-10 days. I hope it's enjoyed
posted by DigDoug at 9:59 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Just checked and my Quonsee's gift shipped today and should arrive by next Tuesday. (So much for the original delivery estimate of Nov. 29-Dec 3!)
posted by SisterHavana at 12:27 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I shipped my gift out today, despite having got mine a wee bit ago. Thank you anonymous gifter! Flux looks fun, haven't had a chance to try it. The 10 foot long USB cord? Literally the night before I was thinking, "I wish I had a longer cord." Next day I had one, thank you!
posted by Apoch at 1:56 PM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

Hooray, it's Quonsmas! Many thanks to bibliogrrl who sent me a lovely card, a hand-knitted hat (which, since I'm in Syracuse, will definitely get some use), a jar of hot sauce, and a festive mug. As if that wasn't special enough, the hot sauce and the mug both benefit worthy causes in her home town. Oh, and also instructions on washing the hat which are much appreciated. Merry Quonsmas!
posted by maurice at 1:59 PM on December 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

A VERY big thank you to whomever sent me the absolutely delightful Santa hat w/ beard & bowtie for my cat. There was no name on the gift, or I'd message you directly.

He's less than pleased; I'm chuffed to bits. Thank you!
posted by TWTBoy at 2:44 PM on December 1, 2016 [22 favorites]

I have been Quonsed!

Thank you for the yummy snacks, LeftMyHeartInSanFrancisco.

mudpuppie, the USPS tells me your package should arrive on Monday.

Merry Quonsmas everyone!
posted by OntologicalPuppy at 3:41 PM on December 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

dearest secret quonsar, the package you sent is now in my hands post-delivery-service-shenanigans! I'm so excited to put the calligraphy paper pad to good use, and can't wait to crack open Bill Bryson's At Home. Thank you so much! :D
posted by ilicet at 4:44 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

I came home to a big box of Quonsmas!

kimberussell came through! Holy shit I am kind of blown away. In addition to a very sweet card, she also made me a custom wreath to hang in my workshop complete with little rulers, Tiny saws, and a big-ass "M" for my last name, which is, of course, Mondcliff.

I have honored it with a place above my bench in the Corner of Awesome, where it shall hang year-round.

Thank you, kimberussell! You hit the nail on the head, so to speak.

Man, I love me some Quonsmas!
posted by bondcliff at 4:55 PM on December 1, 2016 [16 favorites]

mudpuppie, the USPS tells me your package should arrive on Monday.

Oh yay! I had that creeping, back-in-sixth-grade, maybe-no-one-will-give-me-any-valentines feeling.
posted by mudpuppie at 5:15 PM on December 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

Oooh, "At Home" is a lot of fun. If you enjoy it, listen to the audiobook (in about six minths!) and enjoy his husky voice.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:59 PM on December 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

I have to say, this has been a very bad week for me, and I came home to see a compact box on my doorstep and thought "oh great now I have to figure out who this belongs to and track them down and all I want to do is put my chicken in the stove and put on some sweatpants" and then I figured out who the package belonged to and it was me. I wasn't expecting anything, and I don't know anyone with that name and....

It's quonsmas time for me! It was the most lovely gift from ilicet!!!

- A really kind card that is super cute on the front with a sweet message inside
-Two very squishy balls of yarn in carolina blue that look to be the weight I was just lamenting I am out of in my yarn stash.
- My favorite chocolate bar, the one with the embedded ginger in it
- Some cinnamon from the Spice House! Their most popular cinnamon!
- Some beautiful felt-tipped pens (I LOVE felt tipped pens!)
- A stack of very fancy sticky tab markers from Semikolon

Wow - this is such a generous and thoughtful and perfect gift and it felt like a hug from the Internet. Thank you, ilicet!!!
posted by sockermom at 7:24 PM on December 1, 2016 [15 favorites]

Quonsee, the USPS tracking number tells me your package was delivered today!!
posted by sarcasticah at 7:47 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Glad you got the package, Ontological Puppy. Did the passion fruit travel OK? I'm serious about taking you out for a local craft beer when you're next in my neck of the woods. Hope you take me up on this offer!
posted by LeftMyHeartInSanFrancisco at 9:49 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I love this thread. I just dropped off my quonsee's present at the post office, bought a very large jar of nutella, and am now cuddling a baby while listening to Christmas music and reading all these lovely comments. Perfect end to a long week. Can't wait to see what my quonsee thinks!
posted by catch as catch can at 3:13 AM on December 2, 2016 [8 favorites]

This is sort of a bizarre general thank you to all the Quonsmas participants. I've been a bit depressed lately, and Quonsmas has been the only thing that has gotten me to actually check my own mail since the election. Well it turns out there was a ticket waiting for me, with a "only pay half if you respond by this date" in there. That date was about to go by! But thanks to the motivational power of Quonsmas I got it in time and was able to make everything a little better. So don't underestimate how awesome this is, especially this year.
posted by corb at 5:54 AM on December 2, 2016 [28 favorites]

Made it to the post office today, so my quonsee should be getting their gift in a week-ish!
posted by emmling at 6:11 AM on December 2, 2016

Bondcliff Mondcliff I am so happy you like the wreath. Trying to come up with the perfect gift for a Quonsmas legend such as yourself was a tall order, especially as I was also following along on Twitter as you were building the gorgeous owl box.

Happy Quonsmas to all!
posted by kimberussell at 6:43 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

Mine got mailed out last Friday. And by happy circumstance, I got the delightfully quirky postal worker. "Need anything else with this purchase: stamps, holiday cards, maybe some ketchup? Ketchup is a really great condiment." Truly the spirit of Quonsmas at its finest.
posted by Liesl at 7:09 AM on December 2, 2016 [17 favorites]

Room 641-A, you are a TREASURE. Four Orbie ice molds, a lovely rocks glass, and oh hell yeah green apple volcano candies!! These look super, super cool and as soon as I post this I'm gonna go fill them and put them in my freezer to set to chillin' and gettin' ready to ice down a delicious glass of bourbon this evening. Thank you for including the link on where to go for ideas on how to use them -- I am going to try ALL OF THEM. Also I want to congratulate you on your stellar wrapping skills and choice of wrapping paper color (everything is greeeeeen). You win Quonsmas and you have made my entire freaking holiday. Thank you very, very, very much. Mwah!
posted by none of these will bring disaster at 7:38 AM on December 2, 2016 [4 favorites]

Finally posted the parcel today, and with some luck my Quonsee should get it right on the appropriate date!
posted by HFSH at 8:17 AM on December 2, 2016

Handed over my Quansee's to Poste Italiane today, now I just have to sacrifice the virgin goat and hope my Quansee enjoys their bit of Italian Quonse.
posted by romakimmy at 8:57 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm so excited to thank my super Secret Quonsar Dizziest for the amazing package that just arrived! It's another one of our "how could you possibly have known?!?!" deals. She included lovely vanilla scented goodies, which I did mention in my likes, but she can't have known that I ran out of my old L'Occitane hand cream YESTERDAY, or that I LOVE Atelier Cologne and have been itching to try the vanilla one that she sent! Amazing. But that's not even the best part, she also sent THREE mystery paperbacks, none of which I've read. And guys, check out this Michael Innes mystery cover! Is it not the best ever! A bejeweled and be-cocked weasel wearing absurd headgear, just right for 2016. I can't wait to curl up with these gems. What a thoughtful and perfect set of treats. Thank you thank you thank you Dizziest!
posted by CheeseLouise at 9:45 AM on December 2, 2016 [7 favorites]

my quansmer just sent me a Mitch Murder album with a note that says "more to come"........ this is exciting....!
posted by rebent at 9:54 AM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

Thanks so much to my wonderful Secret Quonsar penduluum! The package contained a Quonsmas hint on the outside and enticed me with a beautiful rose scent. The rose-scented bath bomb inside (from a local artisan, which I always especially appreciate) looked as good as it smelled; the cat print (also by a local artist) is lovely and much appreciated. Top it off with some cute finger puppets and a wonderful note, and my holiday season has been made considerably brighter all around. The bath bomb is now making the rounds of the house, to bestow its scent on each room in turn (it now lives in the back room with our litter boxes, where it's working its magic to transform the space). Thanks again, pendulum!
posted by carrienation at 9:56 AM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

Thank you secret quonsar - I got a very useful pair of headphones, so I won't have another headphone crisis!
posted by typecloud at 10:02 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

Also just sent out my quonsmas package.
posted by typecloud at 10:04 AM on December 2, 2016

Wheee! Thank you Servo5678! My cats are jealous and want astronaut helmets of their own now.
posted by JanetLand at 11:10 AM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

Pleased to have received some lovely cat socks in the mail from Metafilter's favorite undertaker. Thank you, ColdChef! I have placed the hen with a bell on my Christmas tree and it will probably move to a more permanent place after that. (The socks I'm saving for Christmas parties.)
posted by maryr at 11:16 AM on December 2, 2016 [4 favorites]

For some reason, until I got to your parenthesis, I thought he bought you socks for your cat.
posted by bondcliff at 11:35 AM on December 2, 2016 [15 favorites]

Suddenly I am contemplating whether actual socks for cats are a thing a Quonsee would want and how fast I can knit.
posted by corb at 11:37 AM on December 2, 2016 [15 favorites]

There is no reason that parenthetical aside invalidates the possibility of the socks being for a cat.
posted by skycrashesdown at 11:49 AM on December 2, 2016 [8 favorites]

Yay, I'm so glad you liked you gifts, None of these will bring disaster! I was pretty sure they'd have shot glasses at the NHL shop but I wasn't so sure about rocks glasses so I was stoked to find them.

everything is greeeeeen

Heh. If my SQ mentions a favorite color you can bet that everything that can be that color will be that color :)

Happy Quonsmas!
posted by Room 641-A at 12:10 PM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

I just sent mine out. The Post Office weighed the package — 4.20 oz! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO QUONSMAS!

/me sticks fish in pants; runs into distance like Daffy Duck HOO HOO! HOO HOO!
posted by not_on_display at 12:31 PM on December 2, 2016 [17 favorites]

Boy howdy, Room 641-A does not mess around. Last year, I mentioned I liked pink and orange and red and rabbits and all my wrapping was pink, orange, red, and/or rabbits. It was freaking glorious.
posted by mochapickle at 1:08 PM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

mochapickle: "Last year, I mentioned I liked pink and orange and red and rabbits and all my wrapping was pink, orange, red, and/or rabbits."

Holy crap. How is this the first time it has occurred to me to look at previous years' thank-you threads to figure out what my quonsee would like?! I will be doing this starting a year from now. Retroactive apologies to previous quonsees for my lack of in-depth research.
posted by kostia at 1:11 PM on December 2, 2016 [15 favorites]

/me runs back from the horizon HOOO HOO HOO and I just got my quonsmas present! And it came from overseas and cost £4.20 to ship! QUONSMAS! HOO HOO! HOO HOO!

Thanks neilb449 for the tin whistle and the worry doll! I will surely use the tin whistle to write a follow-up protest song.

/me runs back in the horizon, dropping fish and putting worry doll and tin whistle in pants HOO HOO! HOO HOO!
posted by not_on_display at 1:16 PM on December 2, 2016 [16 favorites]

just back from the post office, made it in the nick of time. And now I am nervous and hopeful and seriously doubting if it was the right choice all at the same time... no fancy wrapping though, I apologise, else I would not have sent it off today.
posted by 15L06 at 1:23 PM on December 2, 2016

I have a package! Hi, Shawnstring! I'm sorry I was hard to shop for, but I do indeed adore the cobalt glass!

For everyone else, see, I've been telling people for years that if in doubt, get me something in cobalt glass, and I will adore it, and I pretty much said that in my form. Shawnstring sent me a cobalt bottle of a very pleasing size that will actually do very nicely for something I was thinking of, and an adorable cobalt glass frog who I now adore, and needs to come to work to be a paperweight. (The note says he found them on a bottle dig a few years ago, and I'm now very curious about where, because that frog!)

Also Berger cookies, which I had not had before but yes, are awesome interpretations of my food notes. (I visit Baltimore occasionally to see friends, so now have a new thing to add to the list next I'm there.) Thank you so much!
posted by modernhypatia at 2:22 PM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

Quonsmas is here! But I'm not ready. I can't in good conscience open my Quonsmas gift before I send mine out.

Secret Quonsar, rest easy knowing that your package arrived safely and will now taunt me until I receive the final component of my gift and send it. (Unless, of course, there are perishables inside. In which case, let me know and I will tear this thing open immediately.)

posted by MsVader at 3:01 PM on December 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

modernhypatia! I have been Quonsed today and it was pretty awesome to get a package from a fellow librarian.
The box contained (in addition to a bunch of colorful packing material that the kittens are loving) 2 temporary tattoos (in Braille and English), a beautiful knitted dishcloth with 20-sided die on it, a vial of Black Phoenix Alchemy Bard perfume (if not obvious, my D&D character is a kickass bard), a copy of Worth Nothing by Sanford Berman (the card notes this is by "longtime progressive radical activist librarian & cataloguer" Sandy Berman), and 2 honey sticks (yum).
I am quite impressed also with the card which features a quote by Carla Hayden (our new Librarian of Congress), "We are fighters for freedom and we cause trouble[!] We are not sitting quietly anymore!" and I love this- it's going on my wall at work tomorrow first thing. (Oh shoot, tomorrow is Saturday. Monday! It will go up Monday!!) Yes, I do cause trouble. I'm going to keep causing trouble, Carla Hayden!

Thank you!!
posted by aabbbiee at 3:46 PM on December 2, 2016 [9 favorites]

My Quonsmas prize came too! It's been a strange year, and I just moved a 1,000 miles to start anew so I had my mom's address listed for delivery. Darsh sent me a package from Watertown, MA which immediately reminded me of Waterville in Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas, putting me in the right holiday spirit. The card was an amazing MoMA design of suspended ornaments, even my mother couldn't deny that despite being a 'gift from a stranger on the internet' it was pretty cool. Each individually wrapped in Save the Chimps paper, I received a variety of spices from a local Armenian market, robot magnets, a twig pencil, and a holiday tea towel. Thank you so much! It was so nice to get a fun surprise.
posted by sweetmarie at 4:46 PM on December 2, 2016 [4 favorites]

I have sent my pacage on its merry way. All excitedto see what they make of it.
posted by Faintdreams at 5:15 PM on December 2, 2016

I have been quonsed in a lovely fashion by Akhu! The delightful array of fun gifts included ginger medallions (which I have never tried before!), a fabulous tiny sachet of orange peel and cloves, walnuts and cupcake cups (both useful for baking!), homegrown rosemary and thyme, some neat pens and stickers, and (not pictured) a list of podcasts and a recipe for Sticky Cranberry Gingerbread!

I have been well and truly quonsed, and it is delightful! Thank you for the effort you put into choosing things that would suit me. I appreciate it so much!
posted by ocherdraco at 6:35 PM on December 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

"Can you imagine putting sock on the cat?" asks my roommate, after being read bits of this thread. "Can you imagine getting socks on the cat?"
posted by maryr at 6:50 PM on December 2, 2016 [6 favorites]

I did not have time to knit socks for my Quonsee's cat, but am now filled with a new fervor to make socks for my cat and photograph them for general amusement.
posted by corb at 6:57 PM on December 2, 2016 [11 favorites]

"Can you imagine getting socks on the cat?"

posted by mudpuppie at 7:01 PM on December 2, 2016 [28 favorites]

corb, if you send me cat socks (that is to say, socks for cats), I will take a video of me putting them on the cat anf her reactio and now the cat is sitting on me and I can[t see the screen or jeyboard anymore or fod where did the home keygo?
posted by maryr at 7:01 PM on December 2, 2016 [6 favorites]

an adorable cobalt glass frog

ModernHypatia, I would really love to see a picture of this!
posted by julen at 9:08 PM on December 2, 2016 [6 favorites]

I have been Quonsed, and I am delighted!

cellar door gave me a project bag which is the perfect size for my knitting, now that I can no longer carry a giant knitting bag because I am carrying a giant baby-stuff bag. Seriously, I had been meaning to get around to looking for a project bag and failing to because new-parent tired, and it means more than I can tell you to be able to carry my knitting again. And! There was yarn! And it was ALPACA which I love and basically never splurge on!

And there was a very sweet note which cheered me immensely on a day that had included a flat tire and masses and masses of paperwork.

Thank you so much, cellar door! I honestly feel better about the universe than I did before I opened the gift.
posted by Rush-That-Speaks at 10:31 PM on December 2, 2016 [11 favorites]

I'm pleased you liked them MCMikeNamara and I'm glad they arrived intact :)
posted by poxandplague at 10:33 PM on December 2, 2016

Speaking as a person who spent a lot of my childhood dressing semi-feral cats in doll clothes then stuffing them into doll strollers, I'd like to suggest that anyone who intends to dress cats in socks please make sure that your tetanus shots are current and your life insurance is paid up. You might also want to pre-plan your funeral services.
posted by easily confused at 5:13 AM on December 3, 2016 [13 favorites]

This was my first time secretly quonsing and I got a great gift from (name withheld as I don't know their screen name and I don't want to share their real name). It's all Lensman themed, which I'd never heard of before!

Here is what I received:
- 6 comics based on the anime which was based on the book series;
- a magnet of the anime movie poster;
- an enamel pin of the anime.
posted by exolstice at 6:25 AM on December 3, 2016 [6 favorites]

Received my Secret Quonsar gift by way of Amazon.
Not sure who sent it, as there was no name on the card, but thank-you!
She is like a marmoset in a box: pic. I'll keep her near the computer so she can inspire me when I play :)
posted by Laura in Canada at 6:26 AM on December 3, 2016 [5 favorites]

Today we came home from a craft faire & there was a big square box on the porch, addressed to me. At first I thought it was a gift for my husband I'd ordered so I shooed him away, but it was a fantastic gift from That silly white dress! Turns out I should have hidden it from my husband anyway because he swiftly swiped the Chris Ware comic. Thank you for the fantastic candle, a book I've not yet read, the perfect hand lotion/Chapstick set, and peanut butter & chocolates. The card was great as well. For your first swap, you did great! Happy holidays everyone!

My box went in the mail today, my recipient has been given the usps tracking info. Tuesday eta.
posted by librarianamy at 9:43 AM on December 3, 2016 [6 favorites]

rakaidan, thanks so much for this amazing box from texas! i don't know how you knew this but we have a collection of/obsession with cute packable bags. the penguin (and the kaiju) are now going to come with me everywhere! really excited to enjoy some praline and wash it down with some rose tea tonight. our parents moved to texas a couple years ago so the magnet is a perfect addition to our fridge. thank you for a lovely quonsmas!
posted by ohkay at 11:17 AM on December 3, 2016 [6 favorites]

Thank you, mostly vowels, for the coffee!

Your package arrived and I am excited to try one of the three varieties with breakfast tomorrow. Local gifts are the best, and luckily Cincinnati is so close, I can easily get more of whichever is my favorite. Happy Quonsmas!
posted by chaoticgood at 2:56 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

OMG! I was so delightfully quonsed today, I hardly know where to begin.

A charming letter from my (unidentified) Secret Quonsar spoke of insecurities surrounding this process, but there is nothing to feel inadequate about. This was the best introduction to Quonsmas I could have hoped for!

Yes, I do indeed have two cats, and they will love the toy--it's their favorite kind, and one of the few types they'll actually deign to share. (They are eleven years apart and do a lot of bickering over territorial pettiness.) So that was an inspired choice. And I will wear that Sunnydale High T-shirt with pride.

But, I mean. The marionette. You guys, I got a marionette--of a cat! It is completely charming, made of wood, with painted whiskers and a tail that moves and bestrung paws, dressed in a jaunty red jacket with blue trousers, like any self-respecting dapper cat.
I have a puppet phobia, but due to whatever mysterious quirks of my psyche, it does not extend to marionettes (or ventriloquists' dummies, go figure), and I've never been so grateful for that exception as I am today.

I was having a pretty lousy day, but the spirit of Quonsar turned that all around. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Off to play with my cats' new toy--and mine.
posted by Superplin at 3:09 PM on December 3, 2016 [15 favorites]

chaoticgood, thank you! I got your package with A Small Porch by Wendell Berry and jerky from Louisville Vegan Jerky Co in the mail today! Either vegan jerky or being introduced to new poetry individually would've made my day, so both together in a package is lovely. I've already dug into the jerky—which is fabulous. I love pastoral poetry and poetry that has a strong sense of place, so I'm going to really enjoy reading and rereading through this collection you sent me. I hadn't heard of Wendell Berry, which means you've gotten me some poetry I might not have run into on my own for a long time otherwise. That both the vegan jerky and the poetry are local to you is a really cool touch :) Also the card with the gator on ice skates is incredibly cute. Thanks so much again and happy Quonsmas season!
posted by Gymnopedist at 3:13 PM on December 3, 2016 [7 favorites]

I got Quonsed so good today!

I mentioned in my info for my Secret Quonsar that I like crows and things made of wood (especially cherry), so Ontological Puppy send me a crow-themed bookmark made out of cherry wood! AND and and, a CROW CALL!! And it sounds just like a crow, too, and you can bet that I've been walking around the house tooting on my crow call, much to the indignation of my cats. But screw them, because they got a really awesome toy for Quonsmas, and they ought not be complaining about the crow call like spoiled little brats THEY SHOULD BE PLAYING WITH THEIR QUONSMAS TOY.

Here's a picture of Cat #1 seeing her toy for the first time. I'm pretty sure she was saying "Is it really for ME??"

Here's all my things organized neatly for their photographing... until this happened. And ultimately, this (i.e., no more toy).

I already said this in a MeMail to my gifter, but the holidays are a bit tough this year because of my dad's death a few months ago. I inherited my thing for crows from him, we had a weird crow-anchored bond, and I think of him pretty much every time I see a crow. (Which is often. They're numerous here, and they roost in the huge redwood tree just outside my door.) So now I can go outside and employ my really cool crow call and summon crows at will, and it's kinda like being able to summon my dad.

Thank you, Ontological Puppy. And a Merry Quonsmas to all.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:50 PM on December 3, 2016 [34 favorites]

Because I know the kitty rules, here are my girls inspecting the goods: Older cat on the left, young terrorist on the right. I can hear the latter enjoying the toy (not the marionette, which I've now placed safely out of reach) in the other room right now.
posted by Superplin at 6:15 PM on December 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

> Here's a picture of Cat #1 seeing her toy for the first time. I'm pretty sure she was saying "Is it really for ME??"

That face! *faints from cuteness*
posted by Room 641-A at 10:31 PM on December 3, 2016 [8 favorites]

I'm checking this thread obsessively because I mailed my Quonsee's package a week ago, and the postman said it might be delivered anytime between now and three more weeks...
posted by rawrberry at 11:15 PM on December 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

A huge thank you to Brilliantine! My gift arrived a week ago - there are no excuses for my tardiness in writing. It is a wonderful variety gift including reading to tickle my mind, seasonings and drink for my taste buds, and my favorite bit, a koi pond sculpture to feed my soul.

Thank you!
posted by meinvt at 6:23 AM on December 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

I woke up this morning to find that Cookie had carried her Quonsmas toy into bed, positioned so we could play as soon as I woke up. This is the highest form of praise.
posted by Superplin at 7:23 AM on December 4, 2016 [7 favorites]

no worries meinvt, I was just panicking that it hadn't arrived since USPS tracking was saying there was no info on the package. I'm glad you like it! My goal was a little box of happiness per your request :)
posted by brilliantine at 9:03 AM on December 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

une_heure_pleine made my week with a lovely and very thoughtful collection of gifts, including a vintage magazine print and a Buddha Board. There was also a little treat from her native Australia - MUSK Life Savers?!? - which are the strangest, interestingest candy I've ever made everybody else try (in a good way) and are making me rethink everything I've ever thought about Australia. Merci mille fois!
posted by Sweetie Darling at 9:17 AM on December 4, 2016 [4 favorites]

I was quonsed today! Or, actually, I was quonsed yesterday, but I was too sick to go outside and get the mail. That just means that today is the perfect day for me to find a very cool blue and shiny orange Turkish spindle. It's perfect. I'm going to use it to make something useful out of my gigantic ball of orange wool, and I'm going to be delighted by all the bright and shiny the whole time. I had to start using it immediately, even though I have a bunch of projects in progress already.

There wasn't a username on the package, so I'm just going to say thank you, quonsar. You're awesome.
posted by Akhu at 9:30 AM on December 4, 2016 [5 favorites]

I was so incredibly chuffed to find that my Secret Quonsar was miko!!! After having enjoyed her wisdom and insight in so many Ask Metafilter and Metafilter comments over the years, I couldn't believe my good fortune. She sent me an array of thoughtful and beautifully wrapped gifts, including a Scrabble magnetic tile set (Scrabble is very dear to my heart as my dad is a competitive Scrabble player and I've played countless games with him - so this was really perfect) and several products from local stores in Salem, Mass - dark chocolate with lavender and honey, loose leaf tea (which we tried and it was wonderful) and passes to the Peabody Essex Museum!

Best of all though was the personal note and list of suggestions for places to visit in Salem - you know, I've had Salem on my list of places to visit almost since I arrived in the Boston area three years ago and this is just the little push we needed to get us to go. Thank you so much Miko, you really made my week!
posted by peacheater at 9:38 AM on December 4, 2016 [7 favorites]

Quonsmus came yesterday! Thank you, thank you, thank you to the anonymous Quonsar in Ohio (at least that's where the package was sent from) for the Welsh Terrier coffee mug! HOW DID YOU KNOW I've been looking for a new mug for work? It's a Quonsmus miracle!
posted by SisterHavana at 10:25 AM on December 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

My awesome SQ djinn dandy was very kind enough to let me know that due to shipping problems, my package would be late. That was fine, I said via MeMail, because I wasn't going to open it until Xmas Day anyway (or XMas Eve if I get too squirrely about it). I know what it is, and it's in theme with two other SQ gifts I've received, so when I get it, you betcha I'm gonna take a picture with all the other former SQ gifts that match so y'all can see how they go together.

Thank you in advance, djinn dandy!
posted by TrishaLynn at 10:36 AM on December 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

Thank you so much to my quonsar! I love love love the bagel mix and idea. My girlfriend got the package and asked what I ordered from king Arthu as I'm known for ordering online and forgetting what I've ordered, she made fun of me for a bit until I saw it was a quonsar!!! So fun and I can't wait to make the bagels. Awesome idea with the malt powder and I'm so excited, thank you so much.
posted by Carillon at 11:20 AM on December 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

Official secret quonsar Statistics!
420     Folks quonsaring it up.
100     Gifts have arrived! - that’s 23.8 % of all gifts
079     Gifts have a sending status
019     Unique animals represented in gifts (so far!)
003     People are saving their packages to be opened later
002     Roosters at a Post Office
001     Cats technically in socks
001     Holiday-related pet costumes
001     Ninja
000     Days Left to Get Your Gift Out.
posted by julen at 12:11 PM on December 4, 2016 [28 favorites]

julen just basically <3
posted by dorian at 12:56 PM on December 4, 2016 [4 favorites]

Hi Carillon, I'm glad you liked the gifts. The King Arthur site gave me less room for a gift message than Twitter, so I couldn't explain much, haha. I think that bagel topping is yummy on lots of bread-y things, from pretzels to breadsticks to flatbreads. And I figured the malt and high protein flour would make for some good experiments in the kitchen. I was happy to have a fellow cooking enthusiast as my SQ!
posted by katie at 1:27 PM on December 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

OH MY GOSH, I just opened the most delightful package from Hansbrough, my new friend in San Diego, who went to a place I've dreamed of going, the Lucha Libre Taco Shop, and got me a shirt and a bunch of their stuff!!! Also a sweet book about Kevin Eastman--I did not know about the exhibition but I am so happy to have the book.

Seriously. I feel so fortunate. "Who has the most obscure wrestling shirt" is kind of a thing among wrestling nerds? Aside from being a great shirt, this will help me continue to win the shirt contest against my students.

Thank you so much!
posted by Tesseractive at 1:47 PM on December 4, 2016 [10 favorites]

YAY! I'm so happy everything arrived and that you are pleased, Tesseractive!!!!! :D May the spirit of Quonsmas fill your holiday season with warmth and delight!
posted by hansbrough at 1:54 PM on December 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

YAY! rebent sent me the most amazing package! Please please note that the while everything was wrapped, the tea bag was "embellished," a detail that just delights me down to my toes. It's all so lovely and I am ready to dive into the delights of Michigan!

And the best best part.

Thank You so much, rebent.

This was my first quonsmas and it was just delightful to come home to this last night after a really heavy day.
posted by Duffington at 2:45 PM on December 4, 2016 [9 favorites]

beyond-second-chances, this is, like, the first-second-evears-fake-recidivist-quonsmas we did last year aside from the quonczcar-welves? THERE WERE OCTOPODES??!?
WHEN WE DID THAT OTHER 'TING? memeails me plz for nonsensicalness and I will attempt to send u___???>>>
posted by dorian at 2:54 PM on December 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

I just arrived home from a weekend away to find an enormous box from Amazon at my door. Many thanks to my neighbors for bringing it in, but more to congen, who gifted me with all manner of lovely stuff for baking and eating. The highlight is a massive bag of dehydrated mini marshmallows which will find their way into many mugs of cocoa over the coming months! Happy Quonsmas indeed!
posted by sevenyearlurk at 3:32 PM on December 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

Duffington I'm so glad you received it! Most of those things are things I myself own and love and wanted to share so I hope they help you as well.
posted by rebent at 7:22 PM on December 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

My package is on its way to its recipient and I hope it lives up to expectations.

The best part though was that the guy at the post office read the customs declaration and said, "Oh wow. That list makes me hungry" and that led to a conversation about the differences in regional cuisine between northern and southern China (he was from southern China) and about the best way to cook pork chops.

He also didn't even blink when I told him that the package was for an internet stranger.

So basically the most normal interaction with a postal worker I've ever had, and a great start to Quonsar.

Can't wait for it to get there, though they did warn me that it could take WEEKS. Here's hoping it doesn't.

Quonsar has been a major bright spot in my year since 2011. Thank you all for that.

And another major thanks to atropos, who kicked some major Quonsar ass last year, by finding a totally obscure poem I copied out of a random book in college (without title or author!) and sending it to me in a beautiful collection of poems by Japanese poets. I wrote an askme about it ages ago, and somehow she tracked it down for me.

I haven't EVER had a bad Quonsar gift. And reading this thread is amazing. Thank you all for this.
posted by guster4lovers at 9:31 PM on December 4, 2016 [5 favorites]


I just got my package in the post from Mefite catch as catch can and everything is perfect but the neatest part is the handmade Baby Groot.


pictures to follow once I stop being so squee and also have scarfed all the popcorn peanut brittle because... Popcorn peanut brittle!!!!!
posted by Faintdreams at 2:22 AM on December 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

I got a wonderful parcel from someone who is now your great grand quonsar, faintdreams.
(i.e. in the great chain of quonsing, I'm your grandquonsar, because I a your quonsar's quonsar)

I got it on Saturday in fact, but it's been a long weekend of intermittent electricity.

I unwrapped a box upon which someone* had handcrafted, in large, friendly letters, the words "Don't Panic" which is probably a reference to something.**
The box itself that all my wonderful treasures arrived in is, itself, a wonderful treasure which we plan to keep and put things in. I don't know what things.
Inside the box was:
1) Two bottles of Rum.
One of which I have already drunk, because as mentioned it has been a long weekend and ending the day with rum was a very fine thing and made me very happy.
2) Some fancy Sichuan pepper!
This is timely because some of the weekends complexity was due to me installing a shiny new cooker. We didn't have a cooker before. Now we have a cooker. There will be cooking. Maybe that cooking will be Gan Bian Niu Rou Si. Maybe.
3) A hand knitted small bear in a jumper.
I assume this is made of lovely soft wool which is a delight to feel and hold. I assume. Because I have never touched this bear. This bear was instantly retrieved by the toddler and up to this point it has not been relinquished. Not for a single second. They've eaten with it, slept with it and this morning gone to nursery with it. (If you follow me on twitter I will DM you a picture of said toddler and said bear, mysterious Quonsar*, this is a service which I can provide)
This would be more of a problem were it not for the fact that there was a very nice card informing me that the bear was meant for the Toddler, thus I had no legal claim to attempt to reclaim it.
4) A very entertaining small party card game.
I really like small party card games and this one is a lot of fun. Being a shocked swordfighting robot is something which I apparently am very capable of acting. I am looking forward to trying it out at next games day.

Look at these lovely things!****

*My quonsar HalcyonDay didn't sign the card so I will throughout this post maintain their anonymity.
**I obviously know what it's a reference to. Obviously.
*** In Bhutan, this pepper is known as thingye, which, by a staggering coincidence is what I call 90% of the items in my tool box
****There is no bear picture because the toddler has the bear and I couldn't get her to return the bear in order for it to be photographed.She is normally quite amenable, but very much has decided that she and this bear shall never ever be parted.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:07 AM on December 5, 2016 [17 favorites]

Ahahaha, Just This Guy, Y'Know - what gave my identity away? Was it the lack of sedated marmosets? ;) (I do unveil in the thank you threads though so.)

I am so pleased you liked your parcel - I couldn't resist the 'don't panic' as soon as I saw who I'd been assigned. And I am so pleased that the toddler likes her crocheted bear. I like to make a small thing for Quonsarmas and I couldn't resist that bear. It should hold up nicely, being made of acrylic, to all toddler adventures, of which I hope that she and the bear have many together. :D
posted by halcyonday at 4:21 AM on December 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

:) Mainly that the tracking number indicates where a thing was posted. (that sounds super creepy)
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 5:24 AM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I have been Quonsed! But I'm not opening it yet, I'm just letting my Quonsar know that it has arrived safely. I don't know who you are yet as I haven't gone stalking for your name so don't reveal yourself just yet... It arrived at my work and it is KILLING me but I'm going to wait until I'm home so I can let Partner join in the joy of the opening ceremony. by which I mean I can gloat over my lovely gift what he didn't get from a delightful internet stranger and chant IN YOUR FACE
posted by billiebee at 5:26 AM on December 5, 2016 [10 favorites]

That is always kind of a side benefit of Quonsmas with doubter spouses.
posted by corb at 5:45 AM on December 5, 2016 [9 favorites]

Yay, so glad you like everything, Faintdreams! I had loads of fun working up baby Groot, hope he brings you lots of joy.

And Just this guy, y'know, this is becoming a very weird and incestuous Quonsmas, as halcyonday was my quonsee and Faintdreams was my quonsar last year! I dunno what that makes all of us, apart from an obviously small contingent of UK mefites.
posted by catch as catch can at 6:09 AM on December 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


It's now sitting on the piano I found in the street! Because what better than an octopode to play piano. Still using the salt candle too!
posted by fraula at 6:15 AM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Just This Guy, Y'Know's Quonsmas bear, pre-being packed for their trip to their new Toddler owner. :)
posted by halcyonday at 6:39 AM on December 5, 2016 [9 favorites]

My gift is in the mail! Scheduled to arrive Tuesday. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:57 AM on December 5, 2016

billibee: I can gloat over my lovely gift what he didn't get from a delightful internet stranger and chant IN YOUR FACE

That's...the spirit!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:23 AM on December 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

i' weiß jetzt 'was ich will
ich weiß nicht etwas 'was i' will
mei'm Weg wird ziemlich weit z' sein
mei'm Weg wird endlich weiter
હું તને કદી નહિ ભૂલું
...die Dritten bau'm Kirchen...
gott is' nie' zu-seh'n...
posted by dorian at 7:44 AM on December 5, 2016

I'm quite interested in quonsing loops, and there is some extant data.

But last year I was in the international group.
It's interesting that it looks like last years Quons loop was reversed and then I dropped into the middle of it.
(pretty sure there is more to the randomisation procedure than that)

I'm wondering if you generate a group of fictional mefites and randomise a monodirectional connection (i.e. one quonses another) what is the probability of forming x loops.
Like maybe loops per pool (x)= senders (z) / some constant (q) if so what is, on average q.
Last year Julen suggested it was around 15.
Probably other factors about how the randomisation is done, what the constraints are etc. come into play.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 7:56 AM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

I just got thoroughly Quonsed, via special delivery in a snowstorm.

Noticing my transit-geek-tendencies as well as my enamel pin collecting, my thoughtful Quonsar sent three exemplars
  • A shiny gold torch from the 1988 Olympics
  • The curling pin for 1988 Olympics1
  • a Local 583 pin commemorating 75 years of the Amalgamated Transit Union
And that would have been fabulous. But no, the Quonsing was just getting started. Wrapped up in a transit map from his city, my SQ included a delicious-looking D&Q graphic biography, Louis Riel by Chester Brown.

I was delighted, I was amazed, tears sprung to my peepers. Yet there was one more thing: A lovely teardrop of Alberta jasper, perfect for my next necklace.

It's probably obvious by now my Secret Quonsar hails from Calgary: in fact, it's Homeboy Trouble. Thank you so much for your thoughtful, finely-tailored cornucopia of Quonsness.

  1. I neglected to mention my deep love for MEN WITH BROOMS in my SQ letter, but somehow he read my mind. ↩️

posted by Jesse the K at 8:00 AM on December 5, 2016 [6 favorites]


I arrived back at my desk from dropping off the final part of my SQ present (sorry! The post office closed before I could get there Friday)

A mailman walks in with a package posted from Japan. My first thought was that my L'Arc~en~Ciel cd had arrived early, but then I saw my user name on the box and realized I had been quonsed. I am ridiculously happy right now. Let's run down my feelings as I opened the box to reveal the following - QUONSMAS for Julnyes

1. I LOVE things from Japan.
2. Oh, what does this note mean? "The first things go with what goes in the last thing ..."
3. Ginger crackers (cookies?) - I am obsessed with ginger. My family mocks me for my love of all things ginger.
4. Coffee crackers (cookies?) - I love coffee!
5. cute little shopping bag from Gakushuin. I was recently in a Wikipedia hole reading about the Japanese royal family, so this college (traditionally a school for the nobility) was a part of that research. What a cool coincidence.
6. A mug from Gakushuin! I LOVE MUGS!! and now I get the note at the beginning.

Thank you so much Gotanda. You are awesome :)
posted by Julnyes at 8:21 AM on December 5, 2016 [8 favorites]

I got a lovely selection of Australian edible treats. Thank you, Kate! My wife & I love them!
posted by grumpybear69 at 8:21 AM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Quonsed! I've been Quonsed! When I came home from my morning dog walk, there was a package waiting for me.
Higgins! You rock! Thank you so much! I got a sea creature origami kit, a sea turtle charm, a nanoblock octopus and best of all, magic grow sea animals!!! I love it, and you nailed my love of sea creatures dead on. I am grateful for my gift, and I love how you wrapped up each item individually and even included (spoiler) instructions. You made my day.

USPS sent me a text notification that my Quonsee will be Quonsed sometime today. I hope they can read my horrid handwriting and figure out who sent it :)

posted by msali at 8:57 AM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

It's now sitting on the piano I found in the street!

fraula: Corazon, by one of my favorite bands, Bishop Allen
posted by maryr at 9:26 AM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

'ZWO_MF_G QUOMSAR, YOU KNEW!!! 'swar 'z'war vollkommenste 'was ich NIEMALS erwar'm hab'm!!! echt??!? I don't even know how to...
posted by dorian at 9:30 AM on December 5, 2016

It's been a rough fall, y'all.

Which is why, when my overwhelming Quonsmas package from R a c h e l showed up last week, my brain kind of exploded and I just couldn't deal.

She handpainted a watercolor card for me, the contents of which included things that it warmed my heart to read and would have been a gift enough in and of itself.

The package included a variety of small gifts for each and every member of my little immediate family. Yummy preserves for me, a board game for me and Mr. Motion. The the cats and dogs weren't left out either. Here's a little taste of Bishop enjoying just one of his presents (this was just one of the many videos that I shot trying to get him to stay in one place while enjoying it).

Thank you, quonsar!

I can only help that I did as well choosing the (somewhat out there) gift for my Quonsee, which the delivery elves tell me is on time for delivery tomorrow.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:10 AM on December 5, 2016 [7 favorites]

Many thanks to longbaugh for gifting a book I've wanted for a while now: Viking Patterns for Knitting*. It has all sorts of research in it – archaelogical and technical, so I have much enjoyable geekery and creativity ahead! The book on Amazon.

maryr Corazon is such a neat song!

*If you notice the lack of Quonsmas tags on the pic, it's because family stalk my Flickr and Instagram, and I really don't want to clue them in to MeFi... :o)
posted by fraula at 10:36 AM on December 5, 2016 [7 favorites]

A plethora of thanks to gygesringtone for the myriad and sundry gifts! I look forward to consuming them, each in their own special way, in turn. Cool card too!
posted by RolandOfEld at 12:31 PM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

My gift arrived today, and it's really good--chocolate and hot sauce from the beautiful commonwealth of Pennsylvania, plus, from the great city of Pittsburgh, a nifty card and a Fahrenheit-451-themed scented candle (pine, balsam, bergamot, and smokey birch blended with base notes of antique sandalwood--it smells great)--thanks, fellow librarian librarianamy!
posted by box at 12:38 PM on December 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

I have (finally) Quonsed. It went out Priority Mail, so Quonsee should have it by the end of the week.
posted by KingEdRa at 12:53 PM on December 5, 2016

I've been Quonsed wonderfully. An artisan baking book which I've looked at many times but never bought or read arrived - and with personalized recommendations even! There's also a bag of Tim Horton's coffee which is exactly my kind of coffee. Both gifts were perfect and brightened my day.

I'm 99% sure I know who sent the gifts, but there was no MeFi name signed so I'll not out them here. I will say Mystery Quanser in Buffalo, Thank You for the wonderful gifts.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 12:58 PM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


My Quonsmas package arrived today and my socks flew clear off my feet at the sheer amazingness!

A rad Sudoku book! A tactical pen! A build-on brick LEGO mug! MOTHER EFFING CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER BEARS!!!

All wrapped up using some sweet owl-themed duct tape!

Thank you so much, Candycane for such thoughtful and amazing gifts!
posted by Twicketface at 1:02 PM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ooh, the girl scout ones?

posted by phunniemee at 1:05 PM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ooh, the girl scout ones?

Yes! Their existence might be the best thing I've learned this year.
posted by Twicketface at 1:07 PM on December 5, 2016

I finally got to open my Quonsar gift. Behold the wonderfulnes!! I had to include a biro for scale because it's all so fabulously tiny! I had mentioned in my guidance that I love tiny things, but I was not prepared for the amount of joy this cheerful little package contained. (And neither was my partner whose eardrums were misfortunately burst.) The tiny book of animals (I may have squealed extra loudly at the tiny frog you see on the far right but I mean that's it drawn to scale it's so freakin tiny!!!), a tiny jar of smiles "to combat all of 2016 and beyond" which is just adorable, a cat pendant so small it can barely be seen with the naked eye, and "a mini Teddy Bear and A teeny tiny Teddy Bear, to keep your mini Teddy Bear company" which I mean holy god my vocal cords are wrecked! Not to mention a rocking Feminist badge amd bangle which I will wear with love and pride. And all listed in a Moomin card! Moomin!!! I may need a wee lie down.

Quonsar, as of now you're a mystery but if you'd like to reveal yourself I owe you a tiny and heartfelt round of applause. Thank you so much for a truly lovely and joyful gift.
posted by billiebee at 1:11 PM on December 5, 2016 [9 favorites]

Tesseractive sent me a peek into their world -- a stack of homegrown zines, trading cards from two different fandoms, postcards of their truly beautiful home, and a bar of scented soap. Thank you!
posted by mochapickle at 1:23 PM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I arrived home today to find a very large cube sitting on my front stoop. I immediately opened the cube to find an object wrapped in an insane amount of cool recyclable brown paper fishnet padding. At the end of 12 feet of padding (not exaggerating) there was another cube wrapped perfectly in white paper with a black bow. For a second I thought I had been invited to a presidential gala or something. Inside that box was... another box! (All this was very exciting and effective in building suspense, in fact my Dad employed this deviousness on several occasions to fool me about the size of my presents). This third box was small and charming and I almost set it aside to open on Quonsmas but I couldn't help myself. Within this final box was a beautiful train car ornament from the New York Botanical Garden. It will have a place of honor on our Quonsmas shrubbery once we go cut one down.

After searching extensively through the mountain of recyclable packaging I did not find anything with my Quonsar's name on it. I am 99% sure this was my Quonsmas gift, so thank you anonymous Quonsar for brightening my day!
posted by amelliferae at 2:00 PM on December 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Peacheater, I am SO glad you liked your gifts! It was a special pleasure to pick things out for you because I always appreciate your comments so much as well. I hope you have a great time in Salem, and I should send you some more restuarant recs and stuff by PM as well. Happy Quonsmas!
posted by Miko at 2:22 PM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm not sure why USPS thought it was a good idea to leave my Quonsmas package outside next to the mailbox instead of under my covered stoop during a downpour, but the lovely goodies seem to have weathered it okay. Thank you again, Ephemerista!
posted by PearlRose at 2:24 PM on December 5, 2016

I been quonsed in a fine way by duffell. Look upon his work and feel the Quonsmas spirit within! The many separately labeled envelopes containing things like 'Art!' and 'Science!' and 'Strange Niche Hilarity!'! The insides of these envelopes, with their mini-art and mini-microscopes and Happy Hippos and novelization of classic sci-fi comedy films! I kindly shared a Happy Hippo with my two-year-old, and I have reason to believe that she will now act as though all other foods have turned to ashes in her mouth. Thank you!

For my part, my package shipped on the 2nd, and it looks like it just departed the States for its destination nation today.
posted by palindromic at 2:28 PM on December 5, 2016 [7 favorites]

In my mailbox tonight was a small envelope from Singapore. Inside was different packets of spice mixes to make Bak Kut Teh and a lovely note which included instructions in how to cook with one of my favorite foods - pork! And I get to eat it with one of my favorite beverages - tea! Appleses, thank you so very much for a gift that will broaden my food horizons. I cannot wait to try it this weekend! I am beyond delighted!
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 3:16 PM on December 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

YYYAAASSS, so glad it made it all safe and sound Clinging to the Wreckage!

I was so chuffed to finally be able to share that fab book with someone other than the wife (who has heard about it more than she has ever wanted to). Enjoy it immensely!

Timmy Ho's all the way!
posted by TWTBoy at 3:34 PM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

(Tracking information shows my package was delivered last Thursday but I haven't heard anything from my quonsee and now I am anxious. Is it recommended to reach out to them, or just be patient a bit longer?)
posted by skycrashesdown at 3:46 PM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

skycrashesdown I am in the same ?exact? situation "handed to individual" yeah, I have zero-clue what that even means.

here are some notes I made for myself earlier?
dogceratops -> catceratops -> sleep-murder.
posted by dorian at 3:59 PM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

My package from marfa, texas (the user, not the place) arrived today!**

And it's freaking amazing, especially considering the giant mess of words I used on the survey form. And I got, for me, what perfectly defines a good present: something that is delightful and enjoyable, and that I probably wouldn't have bought myself.

I got chalk ink pens (always wanted some!), a super-awesome assortment of post-its (some shaped like a kitty, which is also similar to one of my fur babies - and I have put those in my amazon cart like 18 times!), some tropical chapstick, metafilter flag/favourite buttons (I'm a little embarrassed how long it took me to figure those out...I've only been reading metafilter for over a decade...), an awesome pin of a meme that is a perfect statement of my working life, a maple candy, and the best thing ever: passion fruit caramels.

I had one (okay, maybe two) and it is ALL OF THE AMAZING. I may have found the website (ehchocolatier.com) already. Oh, and a monkey postcard with a thoughtful note.

Just perfect. Thanks marfa, texas for maintaining the perfect record I've had with six awesome gifts in six years of participating in this swap.

What I think I'm most excited about is looking at what everyone else received and then realising that I would choose my present over anyone else's. That, I think, is a testament to how seriously we ALL take this challenge, and how awesome my Quonsar is.

**as a special Quonsmas bonus, all three of my cats decided they needed to be in the picture. You can also see which one thinks she is in charge. And let's be honest, she is Queen of the Castle.
posted by guster4lovers at 4:07 PM on December 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

If it's been a couple of days to a week since it was purported to arrive, you could always pop us a line at the email account to check and make sure a gift that was "delivered" was actually delivered.
posted by julen at 4:08 PM on December 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

on Quonsing Loops:

I suspect we have fewer loops this year than last year. The smaller groups (UK Only, Europe, Canada Only, etc) are 1 loop in and of themselves, and going 25 deep in both the US and International pools closed no loops.

on Pool size:

I will probably have to remind/warn next year that if you choose a smaller group, you are more likely to draw someone whom you've drawn before, particularly as we add more historical data in our wake. (I usually hear of 1-2 folks who draw the same person as a previous draw in each of the larger International and US Only groups each year.)
posted by julen at 4:20 PM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

(I'm one of the ones who drew the same person I've drawn previously...I won't say who until this person gets their Quonsmas gift...and since I have six prior recipients, it shouldn't give me away...)
posted by guster4lovers at 4:27 PM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Thank you to my Quonsar, schadenfrau! I am really appreciating the tall socks today, on what I think is the coldest day of the year so far here in Portland. I love the tote bag, so spacious. I think I will use it for library book hauling. I haven't read any Philip K Dick yet, but now seems like an appropriate time to read his work. It also reminded me that I hadn't watched Dick in a Box yet this season, and just checked that off my list :)

Your card was lovely, too. I'm going to save it and make it into a Christmas ornament.
posted by terooot at 4:55 PM on December 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I got a package today from one Ms. Eta Filter that included several varieties of candy and soda (including soda flavored candy which is the best candy) as well as two pairs of gloves and a scarf just in time for our first really cold snap. Also clips for the gloves! So maybe this will be the winter where I don't lose my gloves by February. There was also a pair of catnip mice that my cat found and took immediately and some adorable finger puppets which will probably be used to tease the cat.
So, all in all, it was a wonderful surprise from an anonymous mefite.

posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 5:12 PM on December 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

Today on this lovely Quonsmas day, I bring you an extraordinary tale of Quonsmas miracles.

I decided to sit out Quonsmas this year because I had so much else going on. It was a bit sad for me, because it would be the first one I missed. However, I got an email from Julen that said someone wanted to Quonse me anyways. I was surprised and honored that someone would think of me and said yes.

So last week, I got an email from my SQ via Julen that said one package should have been delivered that day, and one would be coming this week. I didn't see this email right away though.

I got a package from Amazon. The outer box had my name on it, but the inner box was wrapped and came with a packing slip that said "To Ryan, Merry Christmas, we love you, Grandma and Grandpa." My grandparents have all passed on and I don't know anyone named Ryan, so I called up Amazon. They said it was a mistake and I could keep the item. So I opened it. It was a Beats Pill+ wireless speaker! This speaker sells on Apple's site for $230 and Amazon for $200! The funny thing was, I didn't think I had mentioned it to anyone, but I *have* been looking at wireless speakers, but certainly not ones that expensive!

I contacted Julen thinking someone made a mistake, and it was confirmed that was not the gift my SQ had sent. A little confirming with Amazon that they'd made a mistake and my SQ wouldn't be charged again, and I got my real SQ gifts today! I got a beautiful pair of rainbow fingerless gloves that turn into mittens. (No, autocorrect, I didn't mean kittens, but that would be amazing.) They gave me quite a laugh when I put them on my small hands, as you can see here. My fingers barely peek out the ends! I love them very much! And I got a delicious shipment of YumEarth organic lollipops in 4 flavors, which I can't wait to taste all of. Rainbows and lollipops to brighten my Quonsmas are just the things I needed. Thank you so much, SQ, and thank you for the inadvertent free speaker! I love them! Thank you thank you thank you for thinking of me! You brightened my day and my Quonsmas!
posted by IndigoRain at 5:49 PM on December 5, 2016 [26 favorites]

IndigoRain, that story made my day too. Thanks for sharing your Quonsmas miracle.
posted by guster4lovers at 5:58 PM on December 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

Wow! I am amazed that my fabulous Quonsar, Lurch, fulfilled every ridiculous wish on my lengthy list! I love everything from my awesome fine point pens to my fabulous lip balms. These are the kinds of things I use all the time, and now I'll think of MeFi and the joy of internet strangers when I go about my day. She also included the coolest stationery (decorated with vintage fruit ads!) and a lovely poem by Marianne Moore. Best of all, there was a bar of this chocolate. I am a lifelong chocolate connoisseur, and this is honestly among the BEST I have ever had. This was my first Quonsar experience and I only regret not participating sooner. Thank you to Lurch for the awesome gifts and to our Quonsar organizers as well.
posted by katie at 5:58 PM on December 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Kerning, thank you so much for part two of my quonsmas gift! I love it, and cannot cannot cannot WAIT to wear my temporary tattoo, because, dammit, feminism is cool! :D

Thanks again!!! <3 happy quonsmas.

Also, to my dear quonsee who doesn't know who they are yet, please be patient. Your package went out today and should arrive sometime this week! I am anxiously awaiting its arrival and hoping that you will like it!
posted by firei at 6:14 PM on December 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

After I came home from work today, I took the packages that came in the mail upstairs to open in secret, just in case any of them contained presents for my kids or husband that I didn't want them to see.

I ripped open the first one, saw the Ravenclaw stretchy gloves that were on my Amazon wishlist, got excited and then panicked because I assumed they were from my husband and were supposed to go in my stocking and now I'd spoiled the surprise on accident... but... I double-checked that the package was addressed to me, and it was... so...???

I then ripped open the next one and saw ANOTHER item from my wishlist that I had really wanted! The book "Men Explain Things To Me" by Rebecca Solnit! AAAAH!

I shouted down to my husband that I had opened some gifts that I think I wasn't supposed to have seen and he was like ????? and told me he wasn't expecting anything in the mail at the moment. I told him he should come confirm so he did and... that is the story of how I learned I had been Quonsed!

Once I actually looked in the packages I saw the gift notes that none of these will bring disaster wrote and THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I am so excited to read this book and I have already tested the gloves and they work great and look awesome! Ravenclaw represent!
posted by meggan at 6:37 PM on December 5, 2016 [7 favorites]

Hooray for Quonsmas! Clinging to the Wreckage sent me many Minnesota treats, including Pearson's candies (new to me, and tasty!),Minnesota-grown wild rice, raspberry pepper (!) jelly & an Einstein-head paperclip holder. Einstein will end up with my brother, as we've been exchanging weird office gadgets for years. I was most excited to see a November issue of the Chaska Herald tucked towards the bottom, as I absolutely love local papers/newsletters. How else would I learn about the "Scared of Santa Photo Contest" and the joys of interlibrary loans via MNLink? Thanks for the thoughtful gifts!
posted by crepesofwrath at 9:01 PM on December 5, 2016 [6 favorites]

drlith, thank you so much for the thoughtful and hilarious gift! I laughed so hard when I unwrapped the box (awesome dragonfly wrapping paper by the way). It was nothing other than the Popemobile-in-a-Popemobile from Cars 2, which I referenced in a post on the blue earlier this year. Also included were two adorable tiny penguin figurines and an adorable cat-themed Quonsmas card. Here is a picture of the haul, with a guest appearance by Smaug the cat inspecting the goods. Thanks again drlith--I will enjoy sharing my enthusiasm for this inception-mobile with everyone who comes to my apartment!
posted by Pfardentrott at 9:24 PM on December 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Happy Quonsmas!! A huge thank you to Holborne! Now I have my own Narwhal and a bunch of fun New York City stickers, fridge magnet, postcards and tea towel! PIC! The narwhal is super soft and squishy...I am going to have a hard time keeping it away from my cat who also loves soft and squishy things.
posted by tipsyBumblebee at 9:28 PM on December 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

A couple years ago I may or may not have bought a lifetime supply of lampwork Santa penguin beads off eBay*, and they may or may not appear in my Secret Quonsor gifting for the next ~10 years unless the Quonsee very specifically states "no geegaws** no way no how geegaws are the worst."

* ~30
**a showy thing, especially one that is useless or worthless.
posted by drlith at 9:51 PM on December 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

I absolutely love local papers/newsletters.

Me, too! Every year I mention this in the guidance notes and ask my SQ to include their local paper.
posted by Room 641-A at 10:00 PM on December 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

I have been given permission to out the lovely Faintdreams as my Quonsar, so I'm gonna! Massive thanks again for all the squee. I was trudging out to work this morning and I caught sight of all my wee things sitting on the table and it made me smile all over again. The Merriest of Quonsmases to you. *hugs*
posted by billiebee at 2:55 AM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

And I have been Quonsed! Thank you, Secret Quonsar, particulary for the Cocktails For Drinkers book (among all the other boozy related amenities). It is a welcome addition to my Mixology shelf and will likely supplant the others for its simplicity and humor.
posted by KingEdRa at 3:52 AM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

Just got mine today! Thank you for the shirt, whoever you may be!
posted by LizBoBiz at 5:20 AM on December 6, 2016

Is it just me, or is it especially fun when you get to read what your own secret quonsar received from someone else, and what your quonsee has given someone?
posted by Rock Steady at 5:26 AM on December 6, 2016 [29 favorites]

'nd nunc die Rach'm-Schenken:
treehorn+bunny! wo du bist, ist egal. fake-recidivist-quonsmas LIVES ON!!!
tractorfeed (yeah, adresse de votre part?)
'slaan leaht a' karaid koir - gnädiges-lady, t'sais.
posted by dorian at 6:20 AM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

I got my gift yesterday! I actually tripped over it on my way out of the house yesterday morning, and was briefly mad at the mail carrier, until I saw what it was. I was running a bit late, so I tossed it in my house and left. It made my whole day better, because I knew it would be there waiting for me when I got home! It was a very thoughtful package. I got a pint glass, a pair of warm wool socks, an assortment of teas, some tasty treats, and a postcard! Thank you so much secret quonsar!
posted by OrangeDisk at 6:42 AM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

I have been merrily Quonsed! I have a wall-worthy postcard, a lovely trinket box, and some of the most divine smelling loose tea. And the lil'peanuts are playing with the bow, the box and the bubble wrap. Win!

Thank you again, Secret Quonsar!
posted by romakimmy at 7:06 AM on December 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

Tracking info says that my Quonsee's package is "out for delivery"!
(Note to self--must actually get things done today at work--need to refrain from obsessively refreshing the tracking link to find out when it has been delivered!)
posted by bookmammal at 7:24 AM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

My Quonsmas gift arrived yesterday - thank you Etrigan, for the note and the magnet.

I am behind schedule this year and haven't mailed yet but part one of the gift is boxed up and part two is ready to go. I'm on the hunt for a slightly larger box at work today. I should have it in the mail shortly.
posted by Cuke at 7:52 AM on December 6, 2016

I received my Quonsmas gift yesterday from Action Populated.

Thanks so much! Loved everything!
posted by narancia at 8:01 AM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

Tracking says my quonsee's gift is going to arrive tomorrow by the end of the day!
posted by phunniemee at 9:36 AM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

Aaaaaaaaaah, Billiebee!! You fabulous, fabulous quonsar! I am about to flee the house for a thing but I couldn't resist opening my parcel when t'hb brought it home and I have been so spoilt. I will post a photo of all the amazing things inside upon my return but sufficient to say you are wonderful!
posted by halcyonday at 9:53 AM on December 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

OK! I've sent my gift packet (sorry it's a few days late, dear quonsee), and though it has far to go, it should still arrive in a couple of days. Three cheers for the USPS!
posted by but no cigar at 10:50 AM on December 6, 2016

My package finally got dropped in the mail but it's domestic and small so I am optimistic that it will arrive in a week-ish.
posted by GuyZero at 11:08 AM on December 6, 2016

I have been quonsed!!!!

Aaahhh, you guys! It's an amazing box full of dino goodies!

My dog got a super cool dinosaur toy that's really sturdy that I know he is just going to LOVE (he still carries around the stegosaurus jeri quons'd me with a few years back and lets me dress him up in the triceratops hat I got from jenquat last year without too much fuss, so you guys have been really good to us both).

I got some amazingly adorable dinosaur earrings that I couldn't manage to get a clear photo of because my phone is being a butt, but you can kind of see here along with a cool t-rex/ET(!!) button that I just love. These earrings are SO cute! One is a little stegosaurus and the other is a little allosaurus looking fellow and they're definitely friends, not foes, I've decided.

SPEAKING of dino friends, I also got new dinosaurs for my desk! Look at them, they fit in already!

And to top it all off, as shown in every picture, I also got a Jurassic Park t-shirt! I have no idea how it happened, but somehow I made it to my 31st year without actually owning a Jurassic Park t-shirt (I KNOW, OK), but now I do because of my wonderful quonsar. (The size works out perfectly to wear with leggings! I was just lamenting THIS MORNING what a tragedy it is that I don't have any t-shirts long enough to provide plausible deniability if I wear them with just leggings alone. And now I do! Thank you for enabling my no-pants lifestyle, SQ!)

My quonsar didn't sign their name (I have what might be a real life name on the shipping info) so I can't give a shoutout directly, but THANK YOU! My magic box of dinosaur paraphernalia is wonderful! :)
posted by phunniemee at 12:54 PM on December 6, 2016 [13 favorites]

pour moi-même phunniemee aim' les dinosaures.
posted by dorian at 12:59 PM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

I've been quonsed! I love it! maryr sent me a DIY syrup making supplies, some teas, some bears, and other adorable things!

I get mail sent to my office (so that it doesn't get stolen!) and the woman at the front desk also LOVED the stickers on the outside of the package :)
posted by aaanastasia at 1:23 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

I'm feeling paranoid because tracking says my quonsee's gifts were delivered yesterday, but s/he hasn't posted, and now I'm worried that it was too lame because I couldn't find some things I wanted to include and didn't understand parts of the stated request and just got what I was able to locate and afford and it was the most disappointing quonsar ever and I failed miserably at my first attempt.

Or maybe they're just out of town/haven't opened it yet/haven't gotten around to posting.

But probably the former.
posted by Superplin at 1:27 PM on December 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

When I told my SO what I'd received in the mail today, he laughed and said my secret quonsar knows me too well! THANK YOU! The gifts are so lovely and exactly the kind of thing I love collecting. It put a huge smile on my face!
posted by gemutlichkeit at 1:31 PM on December 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

Also, apologies in advance for my quonsee: I didn't realize that the online vendor wouldn't let me add a gift note and so then I wrote a gift note separately but then instead of sending it I lost it somewhere, so basically you are going to receive a package tomorrow and I hope you know it is a quonsmas gift and are not receiving a lot of mysterious packages -- unless a different mysterious package is better than the one I ordered for you, in which case pretend that gift is from me instead. #awkward
posted by aaanastasia at 1:35 PM on December 6, 2016 [9 favorites]

After spending the afternoon in a committee meeting, it was great to come home to easternblot's not one, but two charming packages! (Truly, a Quonsmas miracle: both arrived on the same day.) A package of teeny-tiny pictures and a book, suitable for the dollhouse I'm building; a chocolate "M," part of which was this afternoon's dessert; and, last but not least, a catnip "tea bag," which has met with general approval (pictured: Lydia Gwilt and Allan Armadale).
posted by thomas j wise at 1:41 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

It was so fun to assemble your gifts, witchen! Your guidance was impeccable and aligned closely with some of my own interests. Stationery! Candy! Yes to all!
posted by initapplette at 1:54 PM on December 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

Wheeee! Got my quonsing today! wiskunde sent me a handmade hat to keep warm in winter, and I absolutely love it. The color is just gorgeous! (And thanks for sending washing instructions; it's like you know me.) She also sent reusable hand warmers, which will get a nice workout come January, or maybe even later this week—Chicago gets wicked cold sometimes, and I live right on the lake. Brrr!

Also, wiskunde, you have lovely handwriting! She included terrible, awful, funny jokes that I laughed at, of course! Thank you so much for taking the time to do that! (Now I feel kind of bad about scrawling my message to my quonsee on the back of a postcard, last minute. I always forget the damn card!)

Yes, yes, I took a photo. And even though my gifts are not remotely cat related, here's my cat with my gifts. I woke her up and propped them against her little sleeping tube like a good mefite who knows the drill.

Thanks again, wiskunde! You're so talented. I'm going to wear that hat like it's my job.
posted by heyho at 2:06 PM on December 6, 2016 [9 favorites]

I'm feeling paranoid because tracking says my quonsee's gifts were delivered yesterday, but s/he hasn't posted, and now I'm worried that it was too lame because I couldn't find some things I wanted to include and didn't understand parts of the stated request and just got what I was able to locate and afford and it was the most disappointing quonsar ever and I failed miserably at my first attempt.

Or maybe they're just out of town/haven't opened it yet/haven't gotten around to posting.

But probably the former.
posted by Superplin at 3:27 PM on December 6 [1 favorite −] [!]

I'm in the same boat. You're not alone! I'm sure everything will work out, and I'm sure you were an awesome Quonsarer :)
posted by Fig at 2:08 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

Superplin: I'm feeling paranoid because tracking says my quonsee's gifts were delivered yesterday, but s/he hasn't posted

You and me both, Superplin, but then I have to remind myself that some people might not even know about the existence of this thread...
posted by RedOrGreen at 2:09 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

aaanastasia, I'm glad to see it all arrived safely! I hope I wrote out the recipe well - basically, you can use any simple syrup recipe and just toss the spices in once the sugar is dissolved. And I'm glad the stickers were entertaining!
posted by maryr at 2:24 PM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

I have received my Quonsmas gift and it is delicious!

Unfortunately, I missed the deadline for sending out the gift to my Quonsee, but I got it to the post office this afternoon. The Canada Post hamsters should get it there in ~2-4 business days.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 2:35 PM on December 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have been quonsed with an extremely appropriate mug: Readers gonna read. Since at work we're about to embark on a holiday lighting show featuring free hot chocolate, I have plans for this mug.

Thank you, Secret Quonsar!
posted by sciencegeek at 2:39 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

Orca hath Quonsed me, and it is good! I came home to a box that USPS had left out in the snow (thank you first for the excellent protective packing job you did!), and opened it to reveal items carefully chosen from my rambly guidance list (thank you for putting up with my inner brain workings!), including a lovely sniffy bar of WA state lavender soap, a bar of Seattle truffle dark chocolate that I'm looking forward to, a jar of MY FAVORITE fig jam (how did you know?), and a wonderful koala ornament for my Christmas tree! Pride of place. Thank you so much, Orca!
posted by initapplette at 2:39 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

P.S. My quonsee is getting her gift bought and shipped about 100 miles away tomorrow-ish. Stay tuned.

deezil I got your package! I'm sipping the lemongrass hibiscus tea right now and look forward to enjoying the other batch when I need some caffeine :) Should I display my horse shoe with the open part up or down? I know this is a matter of some controversy. Thank you!

(Also, how did it work out that I got to quons someone, was quonsed by someone else, in the exact same city? most excellent!)
posted by mostly vowels at 2:54 PM on December 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

I woke her up and propped them against her little sleeping tube

heyho I clicked on the photo before I got to this sentence, and it took me a moment to register the lovely green hat, so for a second I thought the picture was of your cat in the hat, and I couldn't work out if you had a really big hat or a really small cat.
posted by billiebee at 3:03 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

Dear awesome, tentacled(!), right-coast quonsee, the post office says it should arrive by Friday. Fingers crossed!
posted by mochapickle at 3:41 PM on December 6, 2016

Never fear, fig! Gift received with glee (during end of semester craziness, hence delay in thanking)! Thank you for quonsing me! I was so excited to find a package when I got home last night...but I had a project still to finish and turn in, so it was Quonsmas today. What fun to get pens (super thin, which is exactly what I quest after in writing instruments), awesome notebooks (which I desperately need and love and also GLITTER), the most adorable desk calendar (with hamham doppelgängers! How did you know I think these are the cutest ever?), and these delicate page clips. Thank you for thinking of me on your trip! I couldn't be more delighted with this parcel of joyful and completely useful things.
posted by beccasaurus at 3:42 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

yay! I'm glad you liked everything , beccasaurus! :D
posted by Fig at 3:50 PM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

Truman approves!
posted by phunniemee at 4:11 PM on December 6, 2016 [9 favorites]

I came home tonight to find out that there has been a second Quonsing! This package contained Kansas City goodies: KC BBQ sauce, a potholder, and a lovely-smelling soap. Oh! And a postcard! (One of the things I had on my list was regional delicacies from the Quonsar's hometown.) Thank you so much, mystery secret Quonsar, whom I now know is from KC!
posted by SisterHavana at 4:26 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

After finally getting my Quonsee's gift in the mail today (it should be there by Friday, Quonsee!), I opened my Quonsar present which came yesterday - jeoc, I am SO excited to make my own bubble tea! At first I assumed the kit came with pre-made bubbles that you'd add to a tea mix - but to actually hand-make your own bubbles is utterly intriguing and right up my alley, and I'll be sure to share the results! The origami boxes are adorable and I'm already getting envious looks from my wife about those (I suspect I'm either going to have to learn to make them myself or hand one over) - and holy cow, the rum balls are incredible. So buttery and rummy and delicious! As I told my wife (with my mouth full of rum balls), these are now officially my favorite use of rum, ever.

Thank you for the fun and wonderful presents, and happy Quonsmas!
posted by DingoMutt at 4:30 PM on December 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

OMG people! So I got an email from my mailbox place yesterday for a package, figured that it was probably SQ. It was. It turned a grumpy and cold day completely around with magic, and a judgy rooster. It is awesome!

TrishaLynn, thank you so very much! You have Quonsed, and Sanchezed, in the best traditions of both.

Shania is up on the Shelf of Honor with my chicken wine bottle cozy and my tiara.
posted by monopas at 5:01 PM on December 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

IndigoRain, I am so glad you were visited twice this quonsmas. The quonsar hamsters (or is it marmosets now? I have trouble keeping up) picked good.
posted by sockermom at 5:41 PM on December 6, 2016

Big thanks to sparklemotion for this delightful piece of hand-lettered art from the Bell Museum of Natural History. This would be a great gift for me coming from anyone but as I (over) think about it, it is even better coming from a mefite because it is by far the most Metafilter thing I have ever seen: a self-referential text that is literally made of beans. Well done. Also, thank you for the lovely booklets about "The Common Loon" (great band name) and the "Birds of Minnesota" which not only contains the list of birds alluded to on the cover but also contains a lengthy section detailing the voting procedures of the Minnesota Ornithologists' Union—how neat! Thanks again!
posted by metaphorever at 5:52 PM on December 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

Many thanks to If only I had a penguin who sent me this lovely assortment of my favourite things: officey-stuff and paper! in bright colours! with owls (which are a sort of totem animal for me)! Like the best Quonsing, it was a lovely surprise on an otherwise dreary day. And somehow she knew that I've been coveting pretty origami paper for years, and have never bought some for myself. I love it all, and so appreciate being so well-Quonsed.
posted by angiep at 6:30 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

A delightful mefite on the west coast figured out that I like puzzles and snacks and packed me a box of delightfulness from the Pacific Northwest. The chocolate has been yummy; the coffee smells delightful. Thank you, still secret quonsar.

I feel so very, very quonsed and blessed and happy to be part of this internet. A+ favorite community weblog ever.
posted by enfa at 6:44 PM on December 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

Oh gosh, I was all grumpy and irritable today, but then I was touched by the blessed hand of Quonsar!

Thanks to Aravis76, I am now holding a gorgeous handmade journal with a canvas cover. The canvas cover has a hand-painted snowdrop, and the paper inside is ever so lovely and smooth. Thank you Aravis76, and thank you julen et al.
posted by bethnull at 6:52 PM on December 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

Tee hee! I'm so glad you like the rooster, monopas. When I read your gift guide line about metal chickens named Beyonce, I knew exactly what I had to try and find for you. And now I can friend you on Ravelry!

Question, though: What's Claudio Sanchezmas?
posted by TrishaLynn at 7:08 PM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

Picked up the mail today. Lo and behold, there was a SQ package for me!

Thank you so much, NoleChick11, for the lovely and thoughtful quonsing. I am the delighted recipient of a shiny christmas tree pin for my small collection, a beautiful handmade scarf in my favorite shades of blue, a chocolate orange (I was gazing longingly at those at the store just an hour before opening my package), and a wonderful Cape May Diamond accompanied by an explanation of its origins. I love how soft and smooth it is. It's a pleasure to just rub it between my fingers.

You are a superb secret quonsar, NoleChick11.
posted by Altomentis at 7:11 PM on December 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

Oh my goodness got my Quonsar gift today! Thank you doublenelson, it's all amazing!

Seriously, how did you know I was almost out of hot chocolate mix, or that lavender sugar is a weakness of mine and I've been ferrying one dwindling container between my office and home this winter? I've never even heard of cake spice and am plotting what I'll get to bake with it. And as for the chocolate, well those truffles being so pretty I can wait a little longer to eat them, but the bar is going to disappear soon after this comment is posted.

Thank you so much, this was fantastically thoughtful and it has brought a huge smile to my face, and thank you to the organizers of Quonsar for making it possible!
posted by lepus at 7:25 PM on December 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

My SQ present has arrived! The main gift will be staying in the wrapping paper until the 25th, but I was tickled pink to see a Christmas ornament in the box. I spend Christmas with my boyfriend's family these days, and my contribution to decorating the tree has been some ornaments I got in my SQ package a few years ago (thanks again, ThatCanadianGirl). That's been really meaningful for me, and I'm excited to have more decorations for this year!

Thanks, as-yet-unknown-to-me SQ!
posted by Banknote of the year at 7:58 PM on December 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh my goodness my Secret Quonsar is a repeat benefactor !!!

Thank you AngieP once again (2014, and now this year) for the most delightful gifts, they arrived today!! I received yet another cute XC skiing Christmas decoration (who can resist a skiing marmoset??), a lovely candle that smells amazing, some reading socks (you have to be Canadian to understand these... they are DELIGHTFUL) and oh. my. gosh. a beautiful personally designed and handmade red and black neck warmer!! Thank you thank you THANK YOU AngieP !!!
posted by seawallrunner at 8:33 PM on December 6, 2016 [4 favorites]

Thank you again, Secret Quonsar!
posted by romakimmy

Glad you liked it!
posted by ellieBOA at 9:17 PM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

I am so glad that my flight of whimsy made it to you safely, metaphorever. My only regret is that I did not make it to the first day of the Bell Museum's garage sale, because if that was there on the second day, what other wonders did we both miss out on?
posted by sparklemotion at 9:21 PM on December 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: reading socks
look, I am like some kind of honorary-Canadienne, right?
posted by dorian at 9:58 PM on December 6, 2016

I've been Quonsed!

I've been Quonsed!

I've been truly and oh-so-thoughtfully Quonsed!!!

Propped against my front door was this promising looking package. Could it be? Dare I hope? I picked it up. I saw HAPPY QUONSAR! in large letters. My heart jumped with joy.

Of course I couldn't wait to open it once I got inside.

Okayokayigive outside herself. Between the gifts and her lovely note I think she covered everything in my Quonsmas list. The first thing I found was a wonderful book by an author I haven't read - Seaman McGuire. I'm absolutely chuffed. It will be a welcome and much needed break from the election and transition threads.

There was a wonderful Day of the Dead skeleton card with a typewritten note inside. (Wow, instant kinship. I do that too when a card is too spectacular to write on.)

And the note had jokes! Corny, cringe-inducing, wonderful jokes. Including Garrison Keillor's infamous penguin joke. And a written earworm. And a book recommendation that I will definitely check out.

Down at the end of the box, hidden among a lot of green (green!) bubble wrap, was a cheery red bow and a small package covered with green bubble wrap. Inside: my very first Tardis Christian ornament. Handmade by an indie artist who has personal significance to my wonderful Quonsar and her husband. I'm touched. What a great story and a great tradition.

And the very best Quonsmas present of all: a donation to MetaFilter!!!!!

I know the unofficial cat and Quonsmas present rules, but Rose in typical cat fashion has a mind of her own and retreated under my dresser when I got down on the floor to pose her with the Quonsmas presents. Cats. Sorry. Maybe later. If her Highness cooperates.

Thank you, okayokayigive, and a Happy Quonsmas to all.
posted by LeftMyHeartInSanFrancisco at 11:01 PM on December 6, 2016 [8 favorites]

Right, after a fight with my router last night, I can now reveal the contents of my amazing quonsar gift from Billiebee, which were as follows: photo

ball of cheerfully wacky self patterning sock yarn (I heart knitting socks, especially socks that require no pattern tracking)
Classic musical soundtrack 12 cd box set
tube of hand cream in my favourite penhaligon scent
small bottle of said scent.
magnetic notepad with hilarious knitting sheep 🐑 on it. 😂
jar of Gin and Tonic marmalade (going on my toast tomorrow. Nom nom)
And finally, a handmade frankincense and myrrh candle that smells ah-mazing and I can't wait to light it.

There is also a gin themed card and very kindly, birthday wishes for me as well (my birthday falls just before Xmas). I am beaming! Beeeeaming I tell you. Thank you again, so much!
posted by halcyonday at 11:18 PM on December 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

Aahhhhhhhhhh!! The tracking info for my Quonsee's package has been updated -- made it across the pond and cleared by customs!! It's on its final leg!
posted by sldownard at 12:24 AM on December 7, 2016

Thank you to my lovely quonsar dywypi for sending me a delightful package of surprises. All but one of them were bunny-themed. Seriously, I'm amazed you were able to find this many bunny things!

(also, sorry it took me so long to post to thank you - lurker habits die hard!)
posted by escapepod at 12:27 AM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

thank you crocomancer for the beautiful things from the Fitzwilliam Museum and cards printed by your friend. I do wear glasses and should be using a glasses cloth more often - but this one is too lovely to use! Thank you for sending me such lovely things.
posted by 15L06 at 1:33 AM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yay halcyonday, glad you like it! I enjoyed putting it together, and especially enjoyed learning how to make candles which I have decided is my new Thing. As I am a think-out-louder, my partner now knows more about wick sizes and hot vs cold throws than he ever wanted to so it's win all round.

In further UK MeFite Quonsar Loop™ News, halcyonday was my Quonsar last year so I was really pleased to get her this time to repay her for the loveliness she bestowed on me. I wonder how many years it would take for us all to have bequonsed each other?
posted by billiebee at 1:51 AM on December 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

My Secret Quonsar package arrived a couple of days ago! It is addressed to "[real name], Caving Philosopher" !! I have been excitedly building my own anticipation by staring, smelling, pinching, shaking, and otherwise exploring, but have not opened it yet. I am saving it to open for now, because the anticipation is a significant part of the fun for me, and because I have some stressful things coming up. But I am super excited about this! Thank you, Secret Quonsar with beautiful handwriting! This is already super duper successful no matter what you got me, but I am so excited to see what it is, soon! And of course I will update at that time...
posted by spelunkingplato at 2:26 AM on December 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

Huh, so in 2015 the quonsing loop was:
~(someone)->misteraitch(2nd Chanced)->LongBaugh->FaintDreams->CatchAsCatchCan->HalcyonDay->Billiebee->(someone)

and in 2016
with a neat closed loop.

So it's very nearly a reversal of the middle bit of 2015, except with me getting int he way of the HD-CaCC revenge quonsing.
I'm surprised that the loop is so small.
now I am thinking about randomised directed loops and the emergent properties thereof and it's not the work I should be doing...
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 3:57 AM on December 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

There was me walking home today thinking it'd be at least a week before anything quonsary arrived and then BOOM - quonsage!

Big thanks to latnahc for some excellent choices, especially the toque, which is pretty much the exact same colour scheme as my watch right now.
posted by Juso No Thankyou at 6:21 AM on December 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

Mine arrived today! Thank you so much Karmeliet for the lovely gifts from Ghent, with speculoos biscuits, fantastic smelling lavender soap, local mustard and a gorgeous ceramic pot.
posted by ellieBOA at 8:38 AM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

How could I forget to mention the pretty crocheted snowflakes!
posted by ellieBOA at 8:38 AM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Thanks to Galvanized Unicorn for the beautiful little pencil box and what looks to be hand made colored pencils! I am trying to be more creative these days, so the gift fits perfectly. And the large brass safety pin will travel to Washington for the Womens March in January! Definitely an upgrade from my small plain one!
posted by raisingsand at 8:41 AM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

lavender soap seems to be a hot ticket quonsar item this year :)
posted by phunniemee at 9:03 AM on December 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Glad you liked it!
posted by ellieBOA

I fell asleep disgustingly early, per usual, putting the munchkins down, and haven't had a chance until now to out you nor to try the tea. Me and that tea have a heavy date tonight once the kids are asleep *waggle eyebrows in the direction of my favourite tea mug*
posted by romakimmy at 9:09 AM on December 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

So glad you liked the package, seawallrunner! I was tickled to draw your name again and be able to send another ski-themed Christmas ornament. Happy, happy Quonsmas to all.
posted by angiep at 10:59 AM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

And another shoutout to arcticseal, julen, and phunimee. I kept up a frequent (and undoubtedly annoying) correspondence with julen this year, who helped me spread Quonsmas spirit, which is just about my favouritest thing. Thank you all so very much for being the Fount of Secret Quonsmas Joy.
posted by angiep at 11:05 AM on December 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

I have been thoroughly quonsed! Thank you so much shelbaroo for not one, not two, not three, not four but FIVE different types of popcorn + handwritten notes on their qualities and flavours. Seeing as how I completely forgot to mention my popcorn addiction in the quonsee note, I am blown away by this bounty! I just finished a lip balm last week, so the arrival of this vanilla one is perfectly timed, and with the sparkly nailpolish - well, "fabulous is my middle name" (by OPI). Thanks again shelbaroo for making my first Quonsmas a special one - I hope yours is too.
posted by rawrberry at 11:14 AM on December 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

Here's one more proof of how wonderful Quonsmas and Quonsees can be. Monopas and I have been MeMailing back and forth about the things she received and how much they mean to her. I really needed the validation and reminder today that things I do for others in the spirit of kindness and selflessness really matter to the recipients.

So even though I did the gift-giving, I'd like to thank monopas for being a wonderful person to Quons for.
posted by TrishaLynn at 11:31 AM on December 7, 2016 [7 favorites]

TrishaLynn, I have a favorite quotation for this, which I hope you enjoy:

“People know what they do; frequently they know why they do what they do; but what they don't know is what what they do does.” -- Michel Foucault
posted by key_of_z at 11:52 AM on December 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

Thanks to my secret quonsanta:

As a foodie and folkie, what else could I ask for? Cajohn's Jolokia 10 ghost-chili blend hot sauce (my mouth still burns) and old-time music I hadn't heard from Frank Fairfield.

With gratitude, I heartily commend both to the attention of all of y'all.
posted by key_of_z at 12:12 PM on December 7, 2016

I got Quonsed!
Thank you thivaia, for the wonderful additions to my cookbook collection! The Elizabethan recipes will come in very useful for a dinner I'm planning soon, and I'm certainly going to have to try the chocolate cake recipe as soon as possible!
posted by HFSH at 12:17 PM on December 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Thank you so much, exceptinsects!

I LOVE MY YAY WINTER PACKAGE SO MUCH! And your timing was perfect because I am on day 11 of the world's worst cold and was feeling extra sorry for myself and surrounded by a sea of tissues when the mailman knocked on the door.

It is filled with things that I have been wanting to try (fancy marshmallows and hot chocolate on a stick!) and things that I desperately needed (lip balm) that I forgot to get at the grocery store 15 minutes ago and was still mad about when I opened your package. And things that I love (a new mug, a pretty golden spoon, a tiny coloring book, some gloves, seeds called carpet of snow, a cookie cutter, and some paper decorations to make).

This is made even more exciting because....THE FIRST REAL SNOW OF WINTER IS HAPPENING TOMORROW. A winter storm watch and many inches of snow to look forward to. I shall catch some snow in my new mug and then make the hot chocolate on a stick and celebrate winter!!
posted by ilovewinter at 12:32 PM on December 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

I could have missed it for weeks - a package stashed by the carrier in my front door. A collection of gourmet chocolate bars, including one brand I've never seen before (I'm a connoisseur).

Thanks, secret quonsar on Colter Street in Phoenix!
posted by 4midori at 12:50 PM on December 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

I have been Quonsed!! What a fabulous package! I got Chicago flag Field Notes notepads and accompanying pen and pencil (and the pencil is a really neat unlacquered cedar sustainable pencil), a really lovely card of a mountain forest painting, an ornament with black bears on the Blue Ridge Parkway (which I already hung up), and the zomg cutest knitting tarot deck from Purl's Yarn Emporium in Asheville, NC! With sheep and sock monkeys and alpacas!

So of course, after I took the first photo and then one of my cats helped shuffle, I did a tarot reading for my current project. Although I made errors in the past by buying only one ball of yarn while out of town, so I can't just go get another in the same dye lot, and although the ideal outcome is ambitious (that must be the extra border I wanted to put on it to stop the stockinette curl) and the immediate future holds abandonment or retreat, the ultimate answer is selfless love ("The Pet Sweater"!), I will be assisted through inheritance (and/or online shopping), and the final outcome is (maybe, since it's upside down) hope. Aaaaaghhhghghg, this is so adorable I can't form words. What a great surprise, this is so fun! Thank you, anonymous SQ!
posted by sldownard at 12:55 PM on December 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

Got a text from my husband about a mysterious package! He opened it and it turns out I have been quonsed with some absolutely beautiful flowers (I believe they're red ginger flowers) from Hawaii! Thank you so much, Joey Michaels! Their brilliant color is brightening up a very cold, dreary day. I'll post a photo later!
posted by PussKillian at 1:14 PM on December 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

Hurray I just got quonsed!
Thanks so much to LN for the awesome array of hot sauces. My son is drooling already, he is a hot sauce fanatic.
posted by chococat at 1:19 PM on December 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

To my surprise I was quonsed again this year. Thank you Etrigan, for gifts number 3 and 4. Both books (The Return Man and Ex-Heroes) are new to me and right up my alley. I'm off work for the holidays as of Dec 16th, at which point I will dive into these. I can't wait.

My package for my Quonsee is now taped up, addressed and ready to go. I will take it to the post office tonight.
posted by Cuke at 1:48 PM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was quonsed today! I got a note from phunniemee earlier this week that my package was being shipped all the way from Ukraine (!) so I was not expecting it at my door so soon! Bookwibble chose the perfect gift for me, a Game of Thrones rolling pin! I can't wait to use it to bake some cookies :) Thanks Bookwibble!
posted by cozenedindigo at 3:05 PM on December 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

I asked for something "mysterious or puzzling" and this certainly fits the bill! Thanks, anonymous benefactor! Now I just need to scrutinize all the pieces to see if there is some deeper meaning to them...
posted by Pyry at 3:18 PM on December 7, 2016 [6 favorites]

PussKillian: I'm so glad they arrived safely. Yes, Red Ginger which (I think) is reasonably cat-friendly (indeed, ours tend to ignore it).
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:19 PM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh shoot I was so excited that I totally forgot the "secret" part of "Secret Quonsar.' Mea Maxima Culpa.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:31 PM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

I WAS QUONSED AGAIN!!!! Kerning, holy amazing quonsar gift, batman! (well, I'm assuming they are from you) I just received not one, not two, but THREE beautiful stunning amazing GORGEOUS art prints from this Etsy shop. I'm ecstactic.

I cannot WAIT to frame them and hang them and think fondly of my so kind and wonderful Quonsar Kerning, aka Ashley. Thank you so very much for making this a wonderful Quonsar! <3 <3 <3
posted by firei at 4:48 PM on December 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

I wanted to wait until Quonsmas, whenever that is, and did not. I love my socks, my chocolate (yes I do eat it!), my soap and my beautiful card. I hope your 2017 is better than 2016, too...Thank you so much, skycrashesdown!!
posted by oflinkey at 5:04 PM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Received my first ever SecretQ package today. The true-crime book looks awesome (and has pages and pages of footnotes-something right up my alley). The Dali Llama mug is hilarious and shall go with me to work tomorrow where it will soon become apparent that I have the best mug in the pharmacy (I won't actually say "Hey coworkers, isn't my new mug the best one in the office?" but they'll know, they'll know). Finally the home-made cookies were delicious. Well, they were delicious while they lasted:) Thanks secret quonsar from Carmel, NY, you made my day!
posted by codex99 at 5:09 PM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Here are a couple of photos of the red ginger flowers. They're making me so happy, every time I look over at them I get a little thrill because they're so vivid and lovely. Thanks again, Joey Michaels! The cats have all come to look at the vase but have shown no signs of wanting to nibble. If they do, that's why the squirt bottle is always kept near.
posted by PussKillian at 5:14 PM on December 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

I can't even begin to describe how excited I was when I saw that my Secret Quonsar's envelope showed a return address in St. John's. (squeeee!!!!!). I was thinking "please let them have figured out that I'm a (not at all) secret wannabe newfoundlander...please let them have figured out that ...."

And peppermind DID!!! I got a Dardanelle's CD to add to my awesome collection of Newfoundland music. And I got freeze dried liver for my dog. She is insisting that the Quonsmas tradition is to eat it all within 10 minutes of it's arrival. We are negotiating this point.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:42 PM on December 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

I should add, I couldn't be happier with my quonsing, in case it was unclear. Thanks, peppermind!
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:43 PM on December 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ermagerd, ermagerd, quonsmas has descended on my home today!!!!!! I don't think the identity of my quonsar is anywhere on the package so I must make the anonymous thank you! Thank you anonymous quonsar!!!!! (please correct me if I missed it somehow....)

What was it???? Well, I entered the phrase 'functional but quirky' into my list of wants....and it has been awesome to see how that's interpreted every year. This year...
Elephant. Corkscrew.....with bottle opener!!!!!!!

People....the corkscrew folds into the elephant body and only the wee-est little bit shows to become....the elephant's wee little corkscrew tail.

Also....if you want to use the bottle opener, which is formed by the elephant's tusks, you unfold that alone and make the obligatory elephant roar-noise.

The customs around imbibing alcohol and other bottled drinks in my house were already quirky and goofy, but we are about to take it to a whole 'nother level.

Thank you Secret Quonsar for bringing the quirk to a new function in my life!!!!!!
posted by Tandem Affinity at 6:52 PM on December 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

I have been quonsed! Thanks witchen for the adorable dog toy, fruit erasers, fun stickers, cute chopsticks, and lovely handmade bracelets (as well as your handwritten note and unicorn/scratch&sniff-stickers-adored box!). Everything was extremely festive and fun!! :D

Thanks also to the fabulous quonczars for organizing such a fun and joyous gift exchange. It's one of my favorite things in life!!
posted by hansbrough at 6:59 PM on December 7, 2016

Thanks so much for the presents, Pfardentrott! I love the cat, which will now look down on me judgingly as I grab my keys. Also thanks for the notebook and pens. I need to decide on a purpose for it, would hate to use it just for grocery lists.
posted by Trifling at 7:33 PM on December 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Quonsmas time is here! I received the most fun and colorful socks I've ever seen. They ticked both the "colorful socks" and "local specialty" boxes in my guidance since my quonsar is in Tucson and the socks are adorned with saguaro and prickly pear! I can't wait to wear them. I also got some yummy plantain chips that tick the "salty snacks" box and a mole dulce mix that ticks the "exotic spices or mixes" box. It thankfully came with instructions for use. I'll be making it this weekend!

Thank you, egregious theorem for a perfect Quonsmas!
posted by erloteiel at 7:56 PM on December 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oy, my package was delivered yesterday! The mail carrier always brings up packages so it must have been a sub. I hadn't been to the mailbox so the maintenance man brought it up today.

I have been quonsed by S. Quonsar and it is an out-of-the-park home run. I have much to say about the thoughtful gifts but don't have the spoons tonight. I will post pictures and details in the am but I wanted S. Quonsar to know that the package that showed as delivered has reached its home. Thank you, thank you, it saved the day,
posted by Room 641-A at 8:36 PM on December 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Tandem Affinity , yayyyyyy, it was from me! I had no way of leaving a gift note because of the weird online system that the vendor used and I'm so happy it got to you :)
posted by aaanastasia at 8:43 PM on December 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

I have been Quonsed! It is actually beautifully wrapped so I’m going to hold on to it until Christmas Day. But getting it made my night. Thank you so much Secret Quonsar!
posted by tooloudinhere at 9:41 PM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Also, ilovewinter, your post is totally eponysterical.
posted by tooloudinhere at 10:04 PM on December 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

I have been quonsed! A few days ago, I started received tracking information from the USPS for package coming from California. I didn't remember ordering anything from California, but I thought I night have forgotten.

The package came yesterday, and I decided not to wait to open it. It contained a cute card with a kitty on it, a smiley stress ball, two cool sets of highlighters (I love pens and anything like that) a My Little Pony Pez dispenser, a super-cute Hello Kitty bag, and Pocky! (I hope I am remembering everything correctly--my quonsar box is at home & I am at work).

Thanks, Sophie1 for my lovely box full of fun.

Oh, and each thing was wrapped in beautiful paper with the prettiest sparkly heart stuck on it.
posted by zorseshoes at 11:04 PM on December 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

I got a MeMail from my Quonsee and apparently succeeded in my Quonsing! I can be added to the list of "Anxious Quonsars" who always worries that I'm giving the wrong gift, but it always seems to go okay.
posted by JMOZ at 6:09 AM on December 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

Hmmm: tracking data shows my package was received, but it was signed for by someone other than my quonsee.... quonsee, dear quonsee, if your goodies were eaten by a roommate or SO or marmoset operating under a nom de Noel (sorry, couldn't resist!), let me know and I'll try again!
posted by easily confused at 6:42 AM on December 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

My quonsee's package was left on the porch. I hope they got it!
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:48 AM on December 8, 2016

Zorseshoes - I'm glad you liked it. The little jar of honey was straight out of my backyard hive (which I forgot to write on your card).
posted by Sophie1 at 8:13 AM on December 8, 2016 [5 favorites]

Thank you ilana, for being such an amazing Quonsar! I love my gift! I am very excited to try the bookbinding kit, as well as the Cherry Pilsner beer jelly. Also, the poem you included is so funny and perfect. Thank you!!!
posted by to recite so charmingly at 8:15 AM on December 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

I realized when I was packing up to leave the house this morning that the beef kneecap in a ziplock baggie didn't make it into my quonsee's box, :( so please pretend when you open it that you also have a kneecap in there.
posted by phunniemee at 8:18 AM on December 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

the beef kneecap in a ziplock baggie didn't make it into my quonsee's box

Uh, please to explain what the hell?!
posted by heyho at 8:35 AM on December 8, 2016 [5 favorites]

dogs are a hell of a drug
posted by phunniemee at 8:39 AM on December 8, 2016 [10 favorites]

the beef kneecap in a ziplock baggie

I will take this, please. Please, please, please? My bipeds never let me have weight-bearing bones. And only ever raw. I promise to just gnaw on the cartilage, promise!

Also, since my meals are frozen in plastic bags, the ziploc is like catnip to me, so I'll be delighted to open it myself. Can CatPal you postage pls send kneecap thx!
posted by captivepredator at 8:42 AM on December 8, 2016 [9 favorites]

Yeah any Quonsar who ever gets me is welcome to include bones, because dogs love them so much but destroy them so fast but are SO HAPPY while they do.
posted by corb at 8:44 AM on December 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

Well this thread took a strange turn!
posted by heyho at 8:46 AM on December 8, 2016 [6 favorites]

Who knew that the best way to get rid of a body is actually to chop it into pieces and then send them to random dogs as part of a holiday gift?
posted by Rock Steady at 9:29 AM on December 8, 2016 [24 favorites]

Oh, some of us knew.
posted by mudpuppie at 9:43 AM on December 8, 2016 [25 favorites]

Pay cash, no return address.

First, be smart from the very beginning.
posted by phunniemee at 9:44 AM on December 8, 2016 [14 favorites]

GUYS! My socks have Gila monsters on them!
posted by erloteiel at 9:54 AM on December 8, 2016 [8 favorites]

send them to random dogs


posted by captivepredator at 12:05 PM on December 8, 2016 [6 favorites]

Big thank you to my mystery (at least I didn't catch a name...) secret Quonsar buddy! I wanted office tchotchkes and they DELIVERED. A completely cool tiny vintage-looking globe and a Magic 8 Ball somehow turned into pen format. They are on the corner of my desk (which is landing place while you wait to stalk The Big Bosses) and are already getting spun and manhandled by dozens a day. Thanks!!!!!
posted by whitewall at 12:55 PM on December 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

terooot, thank you so much for the tea! Your timing is perfect, as I just ran out. It will go great with the chilly weather we've been having. :)
posted by jet_pack_in_a_can at 1:45 PM on December 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Happy Merry Quonsar to everyone and a Danke to the kind gifter for the flying fun, kitty fun, and the other assortments. The randomness is the best part!!!
posted by Nackt at 2:10 PM on December 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm so glad you and the pup are pleased with your quonsmas gifts, If only I had a penuin! I had a great time at Fred's Records picking out what I thought you'd enjoy, but not already have!
posted by peppermind at 4:40 PM on December 8, 2016

Oh, the honey, Sophie1! From your own hive? So cool. That explains why there is no label, and why it is so very delicious.
posted by zorseshoes at 5:08 PM on December 8, 2016 [7 favorites]

Oh my gosh - Quonsee, your package has been delivered to a "parcel locker" according to the USPS. It's there, I tell you. It's there! Go take a gander!

(I apologize to all the fine folks who have not yet received their presents and are dashing to their parcel lockers, only to find them empty).
posted by but no cigar at 5:21 PM on December 8, 2016

I'm so glad you enjoyed the gifts Altomentis!
posted by Nolechick11 at 5:41 PM on December 8, 2016

The Hamilton mixtape arrived today. Did one of you send it? Or did I preorder it and forget?

I'm so confused.
posted by Stynxno at 6:10 PM on December 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

Thank you very very much for the lovely chocolates and cookies, orrnyereg! I have never been much of a Christmas baker, so my family will be in for a treat *if* I decide to share them. Happy quonsmas!
posted by headnsouth at 6:32 PM on December 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

ilovewinter, you are so welcome! Thank you for having a perfect (and indeed eponysterical) AskMe question that I had way too much fun making a reality.
I was really worried when your package was delayed but I see now that it was just waiting to get there right in time for the first snow. Lovely!
posted by exceptinsects at 6:33 PM on December 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Thank you so much for the delightful package, soakimbo!

I loved the way it was wrapped, and I have the garland hanging above my bed now. My favorite roommate even got in on the fun--she swooped in as soon as she saw the sticker!
posted by marfa, texas at 7:32 PM on December 8, 2016

Oh yay! Very much my pleasure marfa, texas!

A huge thank you to my secret Quonsar from Canada!! I have a real name but not a site name (yet!). Totally delighted with the tea towel with recipe for Poutine, which I see online is "a Canadian dish, originating in the province of Québec, made with French fries and cheese curds topped with a light brown gravy." I love warming up my rusty french trying to read the recipe (I'll take you up on your translation offer!), and I'm just so tickled since I love the French language and the fries in a bowl graphic is so cool. I'm going to frame this! Truly that would have been enough, but wait, there's more! A tiny notebook, and a magnet reading, "bin voyon don!" (need help with the phrase!).

Thanks so much for making my first Quonsmas so delightful. I love getting the local gifts from someone 2,846 miles away, and they're totally artsy which is exactly what I asked for. Happy me.
posted by soakimbo at 7:57 PM on December 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

That was me Styxno! I though I put a note, but I guess they didn't put it into the box? Anyways I hope you enjoy it, good sign that you might have pre ordered it.
posted by Carillon at 8:32 PM on December 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

As I was cooking dinner, my wife got home and told me something had come for me and was on the front porch.

From the Netherlands.

I got chocolate cookies, an annotated book about the Netherlands, and a you-build-it model of those nightmare-fuel beach walker scupltures! Yay!!!!!!

Thank you Secret Quonsar!
posted by notsnot at 8:33 PM on December 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

Guys, guys, guys!

I got a really awesome package of books and booklets in the mail today from atropos. When my phone decides it will no longer hoard pictures and will post them online like I clearly intend, I'll post pictures of my bounty of textual goodness, including a sturdy bookbag with a map of British Columbia that is going right into use tomorrow, a beautifully-set chapbook, a delightfully illustrated book that celebrates obscure but highly useful words, a lovely vintage postcard with a leaping fish, a blank booklet with a map of Canada on the front and useful measures and conversion tables on the back (56 lbs of Old Hay = 1 Truss)and a completely charming booklet celebrating the Forgotten Organizations of the Animal Kingdom (example: The Lumberjacks Union and Honorable Guild of Builders. These Beavers' motto? "No Dam Tree is Safe").

So so so awesome.
posted by julen at 8:47 PM on December 8, 2016 [13 favorites]

Thanks ever so to my SQ from Strasbourg, who sent a lovely postcard explaining the "stalking" process to deduce my likes here on MetaFilter and on Goodreads, which resulted in some beautiful skeins of dark red non-wool yarn (I'm allergic to wool) and an audio recording of a Georgette Heyer book I have always loved but have never heard in audible form. I love the items but most of all the thoughtfulness and care that went into this gift.
posted by bearwife at 8:48 PM on December 8, 2016 [5 favorites]

whitewall, that was me! I'm so glad you (and your coworkers!) like them! : )
posted by SisterHavana at 10:35 PM on December 8, 2016

I think I've puzzled out the identity of my secret quonsar but I'm not sure whether the name on the note is a first name or username (could go either way!) so I'll err on the side of caution and not out you here. Thank you so much for the quirky Edgar Allan Poe Band-Aids (with the weirdest-ever temporary tattoo) and the super cute Llama project bag. I love them!
posted by bunnysquirrel at 10:35 PM on December 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

Oh my god - or rather Oh My God 2: The Quonsening.

Guster4lovers, who sent me a truly lovely and thoughtful present last year - had the misfortune of drawing this postally-impaired antipodean mefite for the second year in a row!! And rather than sending the used bus tickets I so richly deserve, she actually excelled her prior effort with a virtual caravanserai of exotic treasures!

I didn't know peeps were a thing you could eat! The pretzels will chip my steely resolve to never touch a pumpkin spice latte chocolate bar. Some kind of rural confectionary pastiche delivered M&M's candy corn, and it's possible I've made a few pecan logs but never yet eaten one!

This of course, is merely an appetiser to a gallimaufry of seasonings. I don't know how they bottled the everglades, but I'm looking forward to having some on my chicken, along with the "butt rub", "all purpose blend", and I'm especially excited about using the saffron rice and "gumbo file" - in fact, I'm gonna make some gumbo this weekend, and that's not a euphemism for getting drunk and throwing up after a Korean buffet!

I expect Guster4Lovers to be filing for bankruptcy due to the ball-shudderingly awful cost of sending this bonanza to Australia. I apologise for my isolation, and I want you to know you've warmed the quonsles of my heart this balmy Friday afternoon. Thank you.
posted by smoke at 12:40 AM on December 9, 2016 [8 favorites]

Got back from a long day of work, and found out that I've been Quonsed! It's uncanny, because I literally used up the last of my smoked salt last week and was really down about it, but now I have some lovely Alderwood salt to take its place! I squee'ed at the adorable grape and carrot tongs, and I'm sure I'll get good use out of the nut cracker (I've never seen one like this - challenge accepted) and wallet-tool. But no cigar, mahalo!!

Also, the kittehs were not forgotten: Ellipsis was initially confused about his mini Oregon Ducks catnip pillow, but then preceded to lick it for 20 minutes straight and steal his brother's present. The Doctor soon recovered his gift, and loved it so intensely he managed to get three of his legs stuck onto it (attempts to free him were unsuccessful in that state of frenzy). This was all especially amazing because we thought these cats were immune to catnip; apparently, it just needs to be in an adorable tiny pillow.

Merry Quonsmas!!!
posted by Paper rabies at 1:41 AM on December 9, 2016 [10 favorites]

oh man, that look from your Ellipsis surely shows impending sleep-murder. well, unless the catnip staved it off. for now.
posted by dorian at 1:45 AM on December 9, 2016

it was great to come home to easternblot's not one, but two charming packages! (Truly, a Quonsmas miracle: both arrived on the same day.)

The postal service has never been so consistent and reliable before! I'm glad everything arrived safely and that the cats like their present as well.
posted by easternblot at 2:21 AM on December 9, 2016

Thank you Carillon! A great gift and I appreciate it very much!
posted by Stynxno at 4:36 AM on December 9, 2016

I have been joyously and perfectly quonsed! I received a desktop quonsar bag toss, to bring some quonsar fun into my stressful workplace situation...including tiny beanbags that can be used as projectiles. TINY. BEANBAGS. And a grumpy cat card! (But seriously TINY. BEANBAGS.) Photos here and here. Thank you SQ!!! (There's a name on the card but it's at home and I'm at work, alas.)
posted by okayokayigive at 6:19 AM on December 9, 2016 [4 favorites]

Hooray! headinsouth I'm so glad it arrived on time! All those goodies were making me drool so I hope they taste as good as they look.

Happy Quonsmas, everyone!
posted by orrnyereg at 6:57 AM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Truman likes his dinosaur :)
Thanks, SQ!
posted by phunniemee at 8:38 AM on December 9, 2016 [11 favorites]

I arrived home from a long, and rather dire, day at work to find a package. I've been quonsared, and was lovely. It was the perfect set of gifts. Some delightful scarabs, an interesting tea, some Big Bear dried white sage for cleansing (which I shall definitely use for the new year, and a beautiful handmade clear quartz pendulum.

This was all accompanied by a wonderful note with local history, a explaination of how to use the pendulum, and context about the town it came from.

Thank you to my anonymous, spiritual, and thoughtful quonsar.
posted by Gilgongo at 9:31 AM on December 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yay, Paper Rabies! I'm so glad you liked everything and that the cats were adorably frenzied by their cat-nip pillows. Your photos are excellent and your felines beautiful! It was lots of fun choosing things for you (you'll have to tell me how the nutcracker turns out). Merry Quonsmas to you and yours!
posted by but no cigar at 10:19 AM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

I have been remiss in not posting that I got my gift earlier this week - it's an art piece that's a liberty bell print over top of an old dictionary page. I guess it's Philadelphian? Anyway, it's very cool and I like it a lot. My quonsar signed their name but like an idiot I've already forgotten it so I'll have to them them personally in a followup post. But whomever you are, thanks!
posted by GuyZero at 10:25 AM on December 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm so glad it arrived, smoke! That's actually incredibly quick too - one week to go from California to Australia...amazing. I hope you enjoy both the worst candy American Halloween has to offer AND some genuinely good spice blends from the South. Oh, the Everglades seasoning was opened by TSA when I flew it back to CA from North Carolina - so don't worry. The TSA did rigorous testing to make sure it wasn't, in fact, explosive.

And I was SO excited to get you again. I actually emailed julen & co when I got you again just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating or getting last year's email or something. They assured me that it was completely random. It was a fun challenge to put together a second present with no repeats from last year. :-)
posted by guster4lovers at 10:51 AM on December 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

My lovely cozy afternoon just got even better with a quonsing!

There I was, on the couch with one of my best friends working on my knitting, listening to some of our favorite music, when the doorbell rang. A package for me, from Florida? It could only be quonsmas. After a minute of excited squealing to my friend about how "I got my secret santa gift from the Internet!" I tore right in. There was a gorgeous fountain pen with extra inks in my favorite colors, and a lovely note from my Quonsar Gymnopedist about the different colors and how they look. It's a thing I would have never considered buying for myself, but now that I have it I'm already picturing all the pretty-colored postcards I'm going to send. Thank you so much Gymnopedist! This pen will claim its place of honor with my not-fountain-but-also-gorgeous pen from quonsmas last year.
posted by ActionPopulated at 11:11 AM on December 9, 2016 [4 favorites]

Oh lucky day! I've just returned from a week of exhausting travel and my mood was instantly brightened by the sight of a giant package delightfully decorated with shiny little stars! Inside was one the most beautiful greeting cards I've ever seen -- silver 3D jewel-encrusted snowflakes on the front and a sweet message from my Secret Quonsar bookmammal!

Underneath the card was my gift: an absolutely gorgeous marble cutting board, thoughtfully constructed with a copper hanging peg so I can show it off when not in use. It is hands down one of the loveliest gifts I've ever received in my life and couldn't be more perfect because though I love to cook and bake, I've never owned a cutting board because I'd yet to see one that I liked. This one goes beyond "like"! I adore it! It's exactly my style and taste and I can't thank you enough bookmammal for quonsaring me such an exquisitely beautiful gift! Bookmammal, you knocked it out of the park this year! Happy Quonsamas, everyone!
posted by LuckySeven~ at 11:48 AM on December 9, 2016 [4 favorites]


Bin voyon don is slang we use here. Here's a good explanation.

The spelling on the magnet is how people pronounce it, as opposed to how it's written.

Speaking of pronunciation, if you need a reference, people say it repeatedly in this old beer ad.
posted by exolstice at 12:08 PM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

I sent mine on 12/1 or 12/2 and I am so worried it went astray!
posted by Duffington at 12:17 PM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

GuyZero - glad you liked it! Seeing as cheesesteaks, rowhomes and soft pretzels don't do well in the mail, this seemed like the next best thing. :)
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:55 PM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm super delinquent in thanking my awesome sq apartment dweller! I had been thinking about reading the Hamilton bio, but I didn't yet have a copy! I'm looking forward to using the essential oils. And I am super stoked about all the awesome olives!!

Thank you so very much.
posted by jeoc at 1:24 PM on December 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

So glad you like the pen and the ink samples, ActionPopulated! Merry Quonsmas!
posted by Gymnopedist at 3:04 PM on December 9, 2016


So: things have been a little tough around casa de corb this year, and so I was really looking forward to SQ, as the bright spot. But it's been such a terrible few weeks since November that even though I've had great Quonsmases every single year, my brain was doing the "what if someone sends me a bag of poop and tells me I need to go back, because everything you love is going to secretly be destroyed." ANXIETY MAN, it's a hell of a drug.

BUT SQ IS THE THING THAT CANNOT BE RUINED. astapasta24 sent me not one interesting smelling and no doubt delicious tea, BUT 12. 12 teas that will be the thing I huddle against the cold and be happy with! And they smell so good you guys. I am holding them in my hands right now and my brain is like "just smell them all again one by one yesssss my preciousssss".

posted by corb at 3:21 PM on December 9, 2016 [21 favorites]

Thank you secret quonsar! I really like everything and my cat is trying to eat the box right now (I'll get a picture when he stops trying to headbut my phone). I hope I didn't give you too difficult instructions I was worrying after the sign up as I've never done this before. The package really made my day!
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 3:24 PM on December 9, 2016 [4 favorites]

Dearest samthemander. Thank you so much! This is totally something I'd love, I'd buy for someone else, but I'd never buy for myself.

I was duly quansed with a daily You Are Beautiful calendar and a very sweet note from my quonser who basically lives around the corner. Perhaps someday we may meet!

Thank you!! Merry Quonsmas!!
posted by Sophie1 at 3:31 PM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

mostly vowels, sorry for not checking into the thread! Glad you like the tea!

I'm a horseshoe opening up kinda guy.

Also, it's not as weird as when me and my quonsee got each other a year or two ago, but it was weird, and chaoticgood is the BEST kind of people!
posted by deezil at 3:52 PM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

I came home today to a wonderful Quonsmas gift from my secret Quonsar, monologish! A delightful wooden shark mobile from a local artist, and a lovely Sicilian recipe postcard! It was such a joy to get. Thanks monologish!
posted by penduluum at 5:14 PM on December 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

I have been full-on Quonsed! My quonser sent me a pretty awesome album by Mitch Murder, a rainbow watch strap which I will wear with increased pride, and some cat-nip filled pickles!

my cats

they got seriously messed up

But you know Mitch Murder will do that to anyone, just saying. All in all, amazing quanze. Thank you unnamed quanzer from new york! Would quanzee again!
posted by rebent at 5:32 PM on December 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

This thread is so spirit-lifting! MeFites never cease to amaze me!

(And don't worry, Duffington; the package you sent was probably delayed due to the extreme weather lately. I've had two email notifications that stuff I've sent has been delayed in transit due to the weather.)
posted by LuckySeven~ at 5:44 PM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh, jeoc, I'm so relieved you didn't already have the Hamilton biography! So happy that you're a fellow HamFan, and so pleased that you liked the other things as well.
posted by apartment dweller at 6:33 PM on December 9, 2016

I've been quonsed!!! A box from "Nuts on Clark" popcorn just showed up, with a thing of caramel corn, a thing of cheese popcorn, and a thing of chocolate covered almonds! Thank you, secret quonsor who didn't sign their name! Between this and my cookie exchange cookies, I've got the makings of a completely responsible dinner!
posted by Weeping_angel at 7:33 PM on December 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

Correction: it's some sort of sweet kettle corn, not cheese popcorn. And it's delicious!
posted by Weeping_angel at 7:35 PM on December 9, 2016

Sorry about the delay but I've got a gnarly cold or something. So, here's the gist of my own guidance notes:
- handmade (only if that's your thing, of course)
- I'm a complulsive list maker and a note taker, so anything from fancy Field Notes to pads made of scrap paper you stapled together are useful and appreciated! (I know, it's weird and boring!)
- cookbooks
- local newspapers
And here is what my anonymous quonsar sent me!

Okay, that checks the boxes, and the handmade notebooks are amazing, but how did you know that I've been wanting to practice cookie decorating and snowflakes would be perfect, or that I don't know anything about canning or preserving and needed a good guide, or that I love sets of little rainbow-hued things, or that I love little books and books in slipcases, or that I bought that little set of chocolate books for my mom and wanted one, too, but was too stingy to buy it for myself? This was an amazing gift, and I'm not sure most of my RL friends could have been this spot on. (Not shown: the local paper plus printouts from a columnist who is no longer at the paper. So thoughtful! I'll read them when my head clears up.)

SQ is always a yearly highlight but this has been a very tough year for me so it was even more special. Thank you so much, S. Quonsar on the the Eastern Seaboard.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:45 PM on December 9, 2016 [6 favorites]

I have been quonsed by the inimitable Banknote of the year!! :D It was exactly the thing I needed after a long day at work (and with a few long days ahead of me!) I was very excited to open up all the individually-wrapped packages (especially the ones with the owl wrapping paper - I LOVE OWLS and I didn't even mention them, HOW DID YOU KNOW) Thank you so much for the novels: they all seem exactly up my alley and I can't wait to cozy up to them under a blanket with a nice cup of tea. (Local weather seems to be doing its best to facilitate that too....) I could smell the lavender even before I opened the box and I cannot wait for a chance to use the fancy bath salts as well!

And to top it all off there was the most perfect card (and I followed instructions, and read it after opening all the parcels). ♥ Thank you, thank you so much.
posted by invokeuse at 9:06 PM on December 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

Pyry: "I asked for something "mysterious or puzzling" and this certainly fits the bill! Thanks, anonymous benefactor! Now I just need to scrutinize all the pieces to see if there is some deeper meaning to them..."

That was me! Yay, I'm so glad you like it. I've been wanting to get some Mysterious Package Company things out into the world (and into my own hands) for years, and your request seemed like the perfect opportunity. Enjoy!
posted by kostia at 9:30 PM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Addendum! I got an additional package of 60 gel pens from my Quonsar! Thank you so so much, SQ! I can't wait to color my adult coloring books with them!
posted by IndigoRain at 9:52 PM on December 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

I know my Quonsee received their package but they hardly ever post here so I don't know if they like it :(
posted by divabat at 1:18 AM on December 10, 2016 [2 favorites]

I am filled with both Quonsmas joy and Quonsmas shame.

Quonsmas Joy: in this Darkest Timeline December I had not been able to check my post office box until today and what should be waiting for me there but a box from a superhero--one whose color could be described as "very light red".

I should mention that a couple of weeks back I received a mysterious card in the mail which, after a friendly greeting on the front, "more inside" asked and answered "Had I been good? (I hope not)" with an indication Quonsar would soon be here.

And then I opened my box today and discovered a fantastic pair of socks and a locally-made chocolate bar of "single serving" proportions--single serving if you're a chocoholic like me and a "single serving" is, at minimum, large enough that eating it all in a single go in public would attract stares and disapproving intakes of breath from the more svelte* passers by.

And a very nice note, to boot. So many thanks, ThePinkSuperhero!

Quonsmas Shame: My gift will go out express mail on Monday. Believe it or not, it did have to dry, and I made a tactical error in choosing something which takes weeks to do so.

* By definition, pretty much all passers by will be more svelte, alas
posted by maxwelton at 4:41 AM on December 10, 2016 [3 favorites]

The best thing about Quonsmas is that it can fall on any day at all. And today is that day! It's here!

So Thankyou to my Secret Quonser (all I have is "HFSH" and a civilian name in the return address, but who uses those these days) for the wonderful selection of goodies from HEMA. I asked for something that was very local, and your package from the Netherlands couldn't have been more right on. The Sinterklaas mug is especially perfect. Yay!

And I have to mention the fact that you included a QR code with no accompanying info. Ultimately a safe click but very exciting!

(still hoping the package I sent out has arrived or turns up soon. It was sent by the deadline but has a long way to go)
posted by Eumachia L F at 4:45 AM on December 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

(I'm just outside the edit window, but I've only now realised that HFSH is actually your full Mefi name. A bit embarrassing because I missed your post above. My apologies and thanks again!)
posted by Eumachia L F at 5:07 AM on December 10, 2016

Thank you Julen for letting me know that the gift is en route.

It such a strange excitement to wait for the quonsar gift to appear. This is possibly the closest I've as an adult, gotten to the anticipation of childhood. For this I am already grateful. This holiday season will probably prove to be the best one yet in my new country!

Also: Hopefully my quonsee has found her gift on the porch where USPS's elfs left it on December 2nd.
posted by Rabarberofficer at 7:45 AM on December 10, 2016 [5 favorites]

Many thanks to Narancia! I just returned from a business trip to a wonderful Quonsmas assortment. My house is lighter, my tree is brighter, my desk is happier, and my door is jinglier.
posted by galvanized unicorn at 8:55 AM on December 10, 2016 [2 favorites]

I had to pick it up from the post office, but I finally got my Quonsmas gift! Thank you peacheater!
posted by bookwibble at 8:55 AM on December 10, 2016 [2 favorites]

Huzzah! I was gone on a work trip all week, so this morning was the first chance I had to pick up my Quonsmas package! It was so well packaged with a bunch of lovely wrapped gifts and a hand-written note. <3

Pictures here.

Thanks so much, introp! What a wonderful Quonsmas!
posted by jillithd at 9:10 AM on December 10, 2016 [2 favorites]

I've been quonsed and it was pretty much the highest point of my week! The box was decorated, and then inside I got a lot of goodies. I wore the gloves all evening and had to protect them against would-be thieves :) Thanks, Secretariat! 💞
posted by snakeling at 10:35 AM on December 10, 2016 [4 favorites]

Laura in Canada sent me the most thoughtful, wonderful and kind gift that I unwrapped after getting home from work at 11pm and promptly dissolved into tears. Thank you, again, for your kindness.

And thanks to mefites more generally for setting this up and being such a wonderful community that has taught me so much.
posted by hepta at 11:47 AM on December 10, 2016 [4 favorites]

We have a bunch of statuses marked the equivalent of "Maybe ... Tracking Says Yes (but no word from recipient)" and so we'll start following up with those people (the quonsees) this weekend and going forward.

Also, we rolled past 200 Yeses while my head cold was making me nap like crazy, so there'll be a statistics update tonight unless said mainfest nap destiny strikes again tonight.
posted by julen at 11:56 AM on December 10, 2016 [6 favorites]

I have been quonsed! Thank you to dorothyisunderwood for the delightful collection of items from Singapore (photo coming soon). My wife went to school in Singapore, is very nostalgic for her time there and I can't wait to show her all of this. I'm thrilled but she's going to reach new heights of thrilled! Thank you!
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:28 PM on December 10, 2016 [2 favorites]

My New Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!!
Used to be Halloween but no more. The secret part is fun but I need to say thank you thank you from two hearts: mine and the Beagle girl. The beautiful knit beanie rests well on my head on these chilly mountain nights and you remembered the hound as we hike the hills. She thanks you for the water bottle as we take our walks. This is our first wonderful Quonsmas. Thanks for making it spectacular.
posted by Rubydooby at 12:48 PM on December 10, 2016 [4 favorites]

Thank you so much coffeemate! Your gifties immediately went to good use - a metafilter-colored towel (made in America!) and a safety pin keychain that was immediately switched out with my previous gnarly freebie cheapo carabiner. Maggie doggie approves too!
posted by samthemander at 12:54 PM on December 10, 2016 [5 favorites]

Sophie1 - Enjoy!! I received one as a gift last year and it was a bright spot for 2016. 🤗
posted by samthemander at 12:58 PM on December 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

My package came yesterday, but I really want to open it Christmas eve and savor the anticipation. But thank you to the mysterious sender, I will comment again after I have opened it!

And to Teditrix, I am so happy you liked the mushroom napkins! Hearing that really made my day.
posted by katieanne at 1:45 PM on December 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'd forgotten that I had a gift coming, so the box came as a super welcome surprise. I have tea and a lovely ceramic cup and quonsar berries!
posted by Karmakaze at 2:16 PM on December 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yay, jillithd! I'm glad it made it there safely. The USPS tracking data was a nebulous "notice left" since Tuesday and I was getting worried.
posted by introp at 3:08 PM on December 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

I have been quonsed! I came back from a trip last night a box in the front room for me, from a sender in Pittsburgh, PA.

Opening it this morning, I was met by a delightful aroma, coming from a scented tealight. Further investigation revealed a gift wrapped box from a gift store in Pittsburgh, containing the coolest skull candleholder I have ever beheld - like something for Day of the Dead. It has pride of place in our family room and I look forward to a candle lit evening with a glass of wine soon! Thank you secret quonsar! (i couldnt find a mefi name)

And sweetmarie, I am so glad you got your package, I knew immediately where I was going to shop when I saw spices on your guidance list
posted by darsh at 3:33 PM on December 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

Thank you, to recite so charmingly! After a week involving all manner of chaos that kept me away from the very serious business of spoiling the people around me with Christmas baking, I came home to find the absolutely perfect Quonsmas gift of a reversible apron. I've gotten it covered in chocolate, caramel, cranberries and sugar already, and got 2/3 of the baking done this evening!
Thank you, both for the lovely card and apron, but also, some much needed motivation!
posted by peppermind at 4:22 PM on December 10, 2016 [3 favorites]

You're welcome, invokeuse! I'm glad you like the presents. As for the owls, it's simple: Owls are awesome! Of course I have owl wrapping paper.
posted by Banknote of the year at 4:23 PM on December 10, 2016 [2 favorites]

Thank you, Secret Quonsar, whoever you are! (I did not see any identifying info in the present but could've missed it.) The chocolates, socks, and bookmark are delightful, and my coworker just brought some cactus jellies into work so the coincidence entertained us greatly!
posted by ferret branca at 5:28 PM on December 10, 2016

Statistics! Statistics! Statistics!

420     Folks quonsaring it up.
231     Gifts have arrived! That’s 56.4% of all gifts!
120     Gifts are a complete and utter mystery to us (no status at all!)
054     Unique animals represented in gifts (so far!)
044     Gifts are marked sent
012     Gifts are marked delayed, but I suspect at least 75% have been since sent
012     Gifts are currently marked Maybe (Tracking Says Yes). Expect emails, quonsees.
008     People are saving their packages to be opened later
003     Packages that took a staycation at a postal warehouse for days and days.
002     Roosters at a Post Office
002     Packages who took off for side-trips
002     Second Chancers deployed earlier than usual
001     Holiday-related pet costumes
001     Cats technically in socks
001     Ninja

Fun fact: spell check really really really wanted to change the word “quonsee” to “quince”
posted by julen at 9:58 PM on December 10, 2016 [15 favorites]

Is there some spreadsheet or something we are supposed to be filling out or where do you get those statistics from, Julen? (I sent mine about the 28th or so, but haven't heard if it arrived. My. Quonsar also contacted me to say that theirs is in the post but it isn't here yet either. Australia is a slow quonsing location.)
posted by lollusc at 10:21 PM on December 10, 2016

I also sent mine out two Fridays ago but am not sure if there's something else to be filled out. I'm hoping it gets to my quonsee soon!
posted by gemutlichkeit at 10:50 PM on December 10, 2016

Oh, I just found a delightful card of a bear on a bicycle, indicating my quonser was Spencer and isnotchicago. And the most adorable little dinosaur! A whole new round of squeeeee
posted by darsh at 5:31 AM on December 11, 2016

054 Unique animals represented in gifts (so far!)

055 My card has a painting of a lobster!
posted by Room 641-A at 6:26 AM on December 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

it's beginning to feel a lot like Quonsmas!! Thank You, Thank You Zen Majek!! It's cold and dark in Copenhagen right now, but my Quonsmas package makes this time of year easier. It contained some lovely infused chocolates which will be eaten post-haste! as well as a lovely (handmade?) glass plate which could, in theory, hold squares of this chocolate - but, honestly, who are we kidding? AND not one, but two lovely owl tree ornaments which I have already hung up which is kind of a big deal because, since I always travel for xmas, I never really decorate, but these were too nice to just leave on the table :) Thank You for making my 1st Secret Quonsmas a great one!
posted by alchemist at 6:28 AM on December 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

Is there some spreadsheet or something we are supposed to be filling out or where do you get those statistics from, Julen?

Nope! We gather our info from MeTa threads & emails. I probably should do a spin through social media and picture sites to see if I've missed any announcements there, too.

That's why there's a big chunk of gifts that are a mystery to us. At some point toward the end of this week, we'll start checking in with folks for whom we have no status (usually a combination of folks having thanked their quonsars privately, delayed packages, gifts being held for them to come home to, etc).
posted by julen at 7:33 AM on December 11, 2016

Oh yay! I came home from a tough weekend to find a beautiful package from Altomentis! It's the most amazing WOOL cowl in beautiful colors. Perfect for this freezing weather! And an amazing small cooper bowl that I'll love to have at my desk - along with some gorgeous hair pins that I can't wait to show off. Plus some lovely handmade kitchen cloths. Thanks so much! Quonsar for the win!
posted by kinsey at 9:47 AM on December 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

So glad that you like your package, Kinsey.
posted by Altomentis at 10:35 AM on December 11, 2016

I've been quonsed! I settled in after a hectic week to unwrap the mystery package which had just arrived, and lo and behold it was full of the perfect set of delights. Thank you ever so much, Gilgongo! As seems the way around here, your thoughtful assortment had so many how-could-you-have-known-I'd-love-this items and a beautiful card. I am sipping on the pitta dosha tea right now and it has just the nicest blend of subtle flavors along with the cardamom I can detect, which is one of my favorite spices - a perfect accompaniment while watching the snow fall. The beeswax candles are so nice, and will be enlisted this coming week as the candles I light for my birthday. I don't think I mentioned my love for pottery/stoneware - the little lidded bowl is gorgeous indeed and will have a special honored place in my collection. The journal is the perfect size, and I have a long-lived fondness for mechanical pencils so this Koh-i-Noor lead holder will be put to great use. The pins are so thoughtful and nicer than any I've seen this side of the pond. And finally, the stone, the stone...well, I, too, pick up stones from special places and have a small collection this one will join. The story behind yours and the connection you made both touched me and opened my eyes to another figure in women's history who had previously been unknown to me. The world feels like a smaller and friendlier place today. Thank you again.
posted by shelbaroo at 12:35 PM on December 11, 2016 [6 favorites]

I received a wonderful package from the East Coast/Chesapeake Bay area from a mysterious and unnamed Quonsar with various goodies from the region. I was amused to see things from salt water taffy to a jar of Old Bay Spice. Fortunately, I can get some crab around here to make crab cakes, which I expect to do shortly. That said, the peanuts included were enjoyed so fast there aren't any left!
posted by saeculorum at 2:25 PM on December 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

I received the most wonderful and thoughtful package from Rock Steady and his family! A gorgeous handmade mug from a local NC artisan (in the most soothing shade of blue) , and various edibles including delicious homemade candied pecans! My gift arrived last week and I thanked him via Memail, but I forgot to heap public praise and update the quonczars!

Tracking info shows that my quonsee's gift was delivered yesterday, I hope very much that's the case! :)
posted by Pizzarina Sbarro at 4:37 PM on December 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

YAAAY! heyho, I'm so glad you like the hat! It was a pleasure to knit and a joy to send to you. Stay warm and have a wonderful Quonsmas!
posted by wiskunde at 4:59 PM on December 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

008 People are saving their packages to be opened later

*winks and nods at her fellow "waiting for Quonsmas" present-openers*
posted by TrishaLynn at 5:09 PM on December 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

i sent a gift to London, and received a gift from two blocks away the very same day. Thanks, Dorinda!
posted by oceanjesse at 5:10 PM on December 11, 2016

wiskunde, the first time I wore it, two days ago, I got a compliment while on line at the grocery store. Aw yeah!
posted by heyho at 5:21 PM on December 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

spelunkingplato! Thank you!

I'm usually good about waiting to open packages, but, given the current state of things, I decided to open it early. Thank you!!! The chocolate is delicious (I just finished a piece a few minutes ago), and I've already worn the periodic table scarf to work twice. :)
posted by steady-state strawberry at 5:56 PM on December 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Is there some spreadsheet or something we are supposed to be filling out or where do you get those statistics from, Julen?

Nope! We gather our info from MeTa threads & emails. I probably should do a spin through social media and picture sites to see if I've missed any announcements there, too.

That seems like a huge amount of work! If it were easier, I'm sure we'd all be happy to contribute to a public spreadsheet on google docs or something, or you could set up a google forms survey that populates a spreadsheet, and have the link go out to quonsmas folk by email a couple of times when you want updates. If you ever wanted to do that, I'd be happy to help set it up.
posted by lollusc at 6:12 PM on December 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

SisterHavana: I'm glad you liked everything!

It's my first year doing this, so I wasn't sure if we were supposed to reveal our names.
posted by steady-state strawberry at 6:12 PM on December 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

I've been out of town for awhile so I'm not sure when this arrived, but thank you, anonymous Quonsar, for the wonderful pile of books! I'm working pretty hard lately and really appreciating reading during my downtime, so I'm happy to have even more to read.
posted by rhiannonstone at 6:57 PM on December 11, 2016

That seems like a huge amount of work! If it were easier, I'm sure we'd all be happy to contribute to a public spreadsheet on google docs or something, or you could set up a google forms survey that populates a spreadsheet, and have the link go out to quonsmas folk by email a couple of times when you want updates. If you ever wanted to do that, I'd be happy to help set it up.

There are a couple of issues around this (our current google docs spreadsheets are idiosyncratic; we prefer our mistakes be our mistakes; the overhead of merging other updates into our main tracking document) but the biggest is that I really should find or make (find, let's be honest, because it'd take me forever to make it) a replacement system and move on from google. Their precautions against spam are things we have to work around on multiple axes (we can only mail at 100 messages - at most - a day from a spreadsheet; limits on actual number of emails per day; limits on actual number of recipients in a day), and make everything a little harder when we are a swap consisting of hundreds of folks. Each year it gets a little harder.

...except I have yet to find a decent solution. I've evaluated almost a dozen in the past year, and they are all woefully inadequate. We are such an outlier in size, multiple swap groups, second chancing, privacy concerns, and even randomization needs that none of them are at all close to serving half of our needs.

But this is a time for happier things!
posted by julen at 8:26 PM on December 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

OK, so Quonsmas shame first: My beautiful, amazing package from Woods Hole, MA, arrived on November 21. julen emailed me on December 5 to check in, and I only just emailed back today. As I told her, I am just apparently really really good at the marshmallow test. Ability to delay has always been a strong suit.

But on to Quonsmas joy! I had started to open my magical box from gray (this gray? or another mystery gray?) back when it initially arrived, and the first and only thing I had pulled out was the octopus. It made me so so so happy all by itself. Then I got busy and wanted time to properly unbox and photograph and write back to thank you for the rest. And so it came to pass that for the intervening 3 weeks, I stared at the box from across the room every evening and thought, "Is tonight the night?" But I've been busy and tired and a bit depressed from all the post-election news and as I said, I have a tremendous ability to delay.

Tonight was the night. And all of this makes me so so very happy. As detailed in the Instagram post, my quonsar got me all of this!
  • Local maps and newspaper wrapping (you said it would come "unwrapped," but this counts as wrapped to me!) 🗺
  • Pusheen stickers inside the box flaps 🐈
  • Plush octopus 🐙  and card octopus
  • An RV Oceanus keychain ⛵
  • A blue LED Glo-Toob dive light 🐟 and another LED light keychain
  • A tiny silver 128 GB flash drive, so perfect!
  • Local pottery with ocean-sediment glazes from The Soft Earth
  • A microfiber cloth
  • A Half-Life 2 shirt and micro USB cable in a color that matches our shoes 👟
  • Multiple types of chocolate 🍫
  • A plush weighted companion cube keychain ❤
  • Tons of instant coffee tubes ☕
  • A small stack of cool local bric-a-brac and cards for my bulletin board
I love it all, and I feel totally spoiled. I also feel as if I'm getting a glimpse of life there in Woods Hole, and it makes me want to visit Massachusetts and go to the ocean (though maybe not at this time of year). It makes me reasonably certain you're also probably a geek like me, and it makes me wonder if you're an oceanographer or a diver or an artist or all of the above.

Anyway, amazing job working off of my notes and stalking me online, and sorry for the wait, but thank you very much! 💖 🍕 🐴

Now I'm just looking forward to my quonsee receiving their package somewhere across the sea. I hope it makes them as happy as this made me!
posted by limeonaire at 8:40 PM on December 11, 2016 [6 favorites]

That makes sense, Julen. I didn't think about the spam issues!

In more exciting news, it turned out today was Quonsmas! A BEAUTIFUL package arrived on my doorstep, so nicely wrapped and boxed, with a sparkly (handmade?) card and a super gorgeous skein of hand-dyed pure wool yarn from Scotland, made by the partner of one of my Quonsar's friends! The colourway is called "Lost in Space" (deep purples and blues), which is a little bit of poetry that just adds to its beauty. I will probably enjoy hours spent on Ravelry and elsewhere daydreaming over possibilities for using this as much as I will enjoy whatever I end up making.
posted by lollusc at 9:25 PM on December 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

Oops, and that is indeed a squid card, not an octopus card. But it still is some sort of OCTOPODE! I'd wondered if it was just a coincidence that you were talking about octopi. dorian, I think I figured this out, and you're the best. Sorry again to have kept you in suspense!

🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙
🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙
🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙
🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙
🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙
🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙
🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙 🐙
posted by limeonaire at 10:35 PM on December 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

Thank you thank you et merci beaucoup to trillian for the sweetest Secret Quonsing! C'est tellement parfait. I already have plans for the 🐦 cards and look forward to getting into the book! :)
posted by zennie at 5:40 AM on December 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Quonsmas has arrived in Minneapolis. I got back from a conference to a delightful package from msali! A tshirt of a brewery in NC has added another beer to keep an eye out for. Some chocolate will probably be called into service to boost my energy on my first day back in the office. The card is hilarious. Today's a great Monday.
posted by advicepig at 6:37 AM on December 12, 2016

I keep being like "I'm gonna take a picture of these great gifts phunniemee got me and then post it to the thread" except I keep not taking a damn picture so I am posting first.

Thank you so much, phunniemee, for the sundry Chicago giardiniera (giardinieras? giardinierae? giardinierim?), the candy and the tanktop with Apple on it!

P.S. that FB thread where I was like "eh, you still got time" in re: sending out your Quonsmas gift is now funny to both of us.
posted by griphus at 9:13 AM on December 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

Happy Quonsmas Alchemist! So glad to hear the package arrived. The plate is handmade glass -no paint so its absolutely safe for food - my first try at making the glass coffee beans resulted in tiny brown blobs so I was late getting the package in the mail and I was a bit nervous :-) Thanks to Julen for the hand-holding - this is my first Quonsmas as well.
posted by ZenMajek at 9:22 AM on December 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Quercus23, thank you for the truly delightful selection of local treats! This cup of Australian Afternoon tea is brightening up my rather dismal East Coast US Afternoon :D
posted by everybody had matching towels at 9:50 AM on December 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Thanks much to my anonymous gifter! I had a really hard day the day I received the package, and the kind surprise just perked me right up. I got a couple of books that look super interesting and fun and a really interesting puzzle that I look forward to doing on my Christmas break. I liked that you wrapped the stuff before putting it in the bag. It was nice to have real gift packages to open!
posted by possibilityleft at 10:03 AM on December 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was away from home last week, and coming home to killaseal's beautiful Hawaiian treats freaking made my weekend. Thank you so much!

I keep thinking of different ways to savor the liliko'i jelly and the chili pepper mango jam - we're on a big biscuit kick here and I can't wait to try them together. I'm probably even more excited about alaea salt - I'd never heard of it and ran right to wikipedia to learn more (because of course I did). It tastes so different from any salt I've ever tried before, I can't wait to experiment more (probably starting with dinner tonight!)

Anyhow, aside from the fact that I am now desperately craving warm weather and beautiful beaches, everything is so lovely and I really appreciate it. Couldn't have come at a better time, too.
posted by R a c h e l at 10:20 AM on December 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm checking this thread obsessively because I mailed my Quonsee's package a week ago, and the postman said it might be delivered anytime between now and three more weeks...

Obsess no more, rawrberry: I received your package this past Friday, and while I was thrilled and delighted by the array of snacks you included, as well as the notebook and the hand-knit wolf plushie, what you wrote in the card that accompanied the gifts so deeply moved me that it took me a long time to figure out how to convey my heartfelt gratitude to you. To get such praiseful and reassuring words at this time of year and especially in light of all that has been happening in the world of late did more good for my soul than you'll ever know. (I memailed you a message that responds in more detail to some of your questions.)

Also, while I have come to terms with the fact that my kids will eat most of the wonderful Danish snack food you sent, I will get the salty licorice all to myself, which, as one of the few Americans who truly loves that stuff, makes me very happy. :-)

Thank you again for your thoughtfulness and generosity. Cheers and Merry Quonsmas!
posted by lord_wolf at 10:26 AM on December 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

I would like to thank my quonsar for thinking of a gift which combines my interests--a cake pan which will make the cake come out shaped like a dragon. It didn't have a username on it , so I hope you see this! Coming home to a surprise package in the mail was wonderful. And I told my family that making a winter-themed dragon cake is totally appropriate for the holidays--I like baking and all of us like dragons so it will be awesome!
posted by rai at 10:55 AM on December 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

I've been quonsed! My workday will go much smoother with a pair of beautiful smelling cedar shoe trees and a whiteboard notebook. Thanks so much quonsar!
posted by craven_morhead at 11:27 AM on December 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

rai: that was me! My username should have been on there somewhere, weird. But yay, enjoy dragon cake!
posted by divabat at 1:00 PM on December 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Hooray, snakeling! I'm glad you received the box. The outside art is stuff I printed from Lucy Bellwood's website (can't remember if I mentioned that)- it's not exactly pirates, but it is nicely nautical.
posted by Secretariat at 1:50 PM on December 12, 2016

I had a rough day today and felt really down in the dumps, but when I got home, I found I had a lovely Quonsmas package waiting for me. Insectosaurus sent me this beautiful mathematical scarf! I'm so excited to wear it to school; thank you so much! It brightened my whole evening and your timing could not have been better.

Happy Quonsmas, everybody!
posted by wiskunde at 3:06 PM on December 12, 2016 [5 favorites]

Yay, I'm glad you like it :) Happy Quonsmas!
posted by insectosaurus at 3:37 PM on December 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

They say that a person is happiest when a highly anticipated event is imminent.

I got two spoilers that my Secret Quonsar package was coming today, in the form of a UPS delivery notification when I hadn't ordered anything lately, and a message from Karmakaze outing herself as the sender! Thank you for the lovely Diwali-themed teas! I especially like that it has a mix of bags and loose tea, because sometimes you just want tea without all the fuss, and sometimes you want the hoopla of the infuser and all the ritual. And I especially love that the muslin bags are reusable! Thanks, I will be enjoying this for a long time (it's a LOT of tea, guys)!
posted by Liesl at 3:43 PM on December 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

I received an envelope of awesome from obloquy! It had Sharffenberger chocolate (which makes me nostalgic), an awesome pocket journal, a keychain, a postcard, and a 3 DVD set of the Bridge School Benefit concert with an amazing assortment of acts. All of it was wrapped in fun things which I enjoyed tearing into!

Thanks, obloquy!
posted by JMOZ at 3:49 PM on December 12, 2016 [2 favorites]

Woo Hoo! I have been wonderfully quonsed by naturalog!
My quonsing actually began about a week ago when naturalog me-mailed to let me know that my gift was on the way and that it was coming from . . . THE STRAND. At that point I already knew that I would love my gift because visiting Strand Books in NYC is one of the few things that is on my actual bucket list. Some people dream of visiting a tropical island...I dream of spending hours in the stacks at THE STRAND. Someday this will happen.
So anyway, tonight I got home from work and found a card and a package in my mailbox. The card was a delightfully illustrated map of NYC--along with a lovely note from naturalog plus a tiny secret message! In the package was a book from my Goodreads TBR list that perfectly captures my interests in American history and the presidency. But wait, there's more! Also in the package was an adorable canvas zippered pouch with BOOKS and CATS--and a Strand bookmark!
Photo of these perfectly chosen gifts is here.
Naturalog, you have gotten my week off to a wonderful start! Thank you so much! Happy, happy Quonsmas to all!
posted by bookmammal at 3:58 PM on December 12, 2016 [8 favorites]

Wheeeeee! There's a package that arrived today that I am positive is a quonsmas gift!! I'm saving it for tomorrow because I think it's going to be a trying day, so I'll be reporting back in 24 hours!!
posted by umwhat at 4:50 PM on December 12, 2016

Well, my secret quonsar does not know what a favor they've done me. Several very intriguing experiments arrived in the mail today, which turns out to be quite handy as my daughter keeps asking if we can put more bones in vinegar and I cannot have a house full of bendy bones.

Many thanks!
posted by selfnoise at 6:34 PM on December 12, 2016 [8 favorites]

wiskunde / insectosaurus--that mathematical scarf is just all kinds of awesome! I'm not even a "math person" and I would totally wear that!!
posted by bookmammal at 7:14 PM on December 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

Iamabadperson.com, because I only mailed my quonsar's package yesterday -- but it was Priority Mail, so it will be arriving fast, I promise! This year. Man.

I swore I wouldn't open my package until I'd mailed that, because it didn't seem fair. The Unquonsaring begins soon ...
posted by vickyverky at 8:05 AM on December 13, 2016 [2 favorites]

I received my secret quonsar package yesterday! Thank you so much seawallrunner! The scarf and mitts were lovely and my son was thrilled with the candy cane.
posted by machine at 8:22 AM on December 13, 2016 [1 favorite]

Many, many thanks to the thoughtful jet_pack_in_a_can who sent me a wonderful Quonsar package! It arrived right on time several days ago, but I neglected to post a thank you here. It was in the midst of a hectic and illness/stress-filled week, and the Quonsar package was a truly welcome respite. Thank you for the huge variety of chocolate-covered nuts, chocolate tea AND seahorse socks. I've worn them twice already! As my daughter said when I opened the gift, "Your internet friend is so nice!" And you really are! Thank you!

*USPS tells me my quonsee's package was delivered 12/5. I hope he/she received it and the fragile contents survived the transit. Merry Quonsmas!
posted by areaperson at 10:39 AM on December 13, 2016 [4 favorites]

Thank you, Vectorcon Systems, for the beautiful ornaments! You couldn't have possibly known, but I got a very similar ornament last year, and I love that I now have a matched pair!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:42 PM on December 13, 2016 [5 favorites]

I have been enquonsanated! Thank you to my mysterious SQ for the unique and generous handcrafted gifts! Yay!
posted by Dorinda at 2:53 PM on December 13, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh, pizzarina sbarro, you are the very best! I couldn't have even picked out such wonderful gifts for myself! Vertebrae candles, prickly pear taffy (yum!), a lovely handkerchief, a blank book with hedgehogs!!, and the very best christmas card ever. It was a trying day today, and opening your package made everything fade away. Thank you!
posted by umwhat at 4:35 PM on December 13, 2016 [5 favorites]

Dear Sweet Quonsar: thank you so, so much for this beautiful, kind, perfect gift. How could you have known I needed a tea infuser? Or that I loved sloths? Or that I was thinking how I needed peppermint tea for nausea but was too wiped to go shopping? Your prescience and your chocolate are so appreciated. I am just tickled.
posted by quadrilaterals at 4:40 PM on December 13, 2016 [6 favorites]

It is me, the next person to have been secret quonsar'ed.

I got a lovely package from jrobin276 , with a bunch of paper-based things featuring-but-not-exclusively dinosaurs. With cameos from popcorn and snacks.
posted by ambilevous at 7:01 PM on December 13, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yesterday was a pretty stressful day of dealing with government bureaucracies on some pretty important stuff, but my anxious mood was lifted by a mysterious box from Hong Kong, addressed not to my daughter who is always ordering beauty products and fast fashion from the Far East, but to me! Turns out, my enviously well-traveled quonsar is none other than mdonley, who tellingly asked about learning Cantonese more than 4 years ago. SQ took my suggestion for liking things horsie, tending to pick up coffee mugs in my travels, and a fondness for tea...and let us just say he ran with it, at the museum shop at Happy Valley racecourse, one of Asia's biggest thoroughbred racing venues. The payout included a coffee cup, oolong and jasmine tea to fill said cup, a key chain, racing-themed ice cube tray, a couple copies of the daily racing form, and an assortment of betting slips. With my quonsar suggestions I'd noted how I feared I'd turned into my own grandma; apparently I've turned into the grandma who spends the afternoon at the track playing the ponies. I'm doubly happy you had a happy time at Happy Valley putting it all together, mdonley.

Now, I know it is the custom to post pictures of one's cats investigating one's quosmas loot and/or boxes, but I figured it would be more appropriate to grab a couple selfies with my very own recycled racer Tyson. I didn't get pictures of everything because he's got no patience and I've got no skillz for selfies.
posted by drlith at 7:14 PM on December 13, 2016 [11 favorites]

I got my Quonsar package today, and it was full of random, fun things, and a long lovely note that made them even more awesome. Thank you Secret Quonsar for sending a bit of fun my way!
posted by rakaidan at 7:39 PM on December 13, 2016 [3 favorites]

Oh happy day! I have been quonsed! I actually got home early from work and felt super crappy, then cheered up a bit when my roommate told me there was a random package for me (but the opening of said package waited until after my 3 hour nap to get rid of headache).

Thanks to epersonae for the wonderful wonderful smoked salmon (this might not last until tomorrow nomzzz!!!), caramel corn, other caramels, chocolate, a pack of nice Staedtler pens, a little journal, and a (hand-knit?) coffee mug cozy! It's such a wonderful time of year!
posted by astapasta24 at 8:09 PM on December 13, 2016 [3 favorites]

Tonight I got home and found an anonymous package containing a T-shirt featuring a design of cats chasing yarn. An unusually tasteful t-shirt with cats on it, I must add. Perhaps appropriately, it arrived on the same day as the package containing the catnip mousies I ordered for my kitties, so clearly the sender knows my vulnerabilities. Thank you, anonymous Quonsar!
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 8:54 PM on December 13, 2016 [3 favorites]

🎼 Quonsar bells, quonsar bells, quonsar all the way 🎷

A man in a red suit just knocked on my door and handed me a YUGE package! What is this scrawled in the top right hand corner? Secret Quonsar Swap?

The contents are listed in the declaration and I didn't want to look too closely, so I quickly shoved the box under the tree to await Christmas morning, when I will run downstairs in my pyjamas and rip it open with unrestrained eagerness. Until then - the sender may have included their name, but I haven't seen it and won't look till the moment I open it.

But YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Thank you, secret quonser of my heart!
posted by tel3path at 2:47 AM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

I got a fridge magnet from Puss Killian. Not just any fridge magnet, but a handmade phallic shaped sculpture! Which due to my clumsiness, tumbled out of the box (featuring a naked lady on it) and broke :(

I have yet to glue it back together, but once I do, it will be the first magnet on the fridge in our newly acquired marital home, and offer great conversation starters about why I have something like that there and how I possess great taste.

Love the letter too - thank you so much :D
posted by appleses at 5:38 AM on December 14, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yaaaaaaaay drlith! I am so pleased everything made it in one piece - my packaging seemed suboptimal and I was worried about customs folk analysing the tea via electron microscope and holding up the package for months.

Also, it is so lovely to see a real live actual bona fide HORSE involved in all this - he's gorgeous!

Happy Quonsmas!
posted by mdonley at 6:43 AM on December 14, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hi, appleses, I'm so sorry to hear it broke! I hope it can be mended. If not, let me know - my coworker might be making more of them and I could probably replace it.
And yes, having a Brancusi sculpture on your fridge is a great way to simultaneously indicate your stellar taste in highbrow art and also make lowbrow phallic jokes. It gives you a lot of flexibility for conversation :)
posted by PussKillian at 7:05 AM on December 14, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yay! I have returned from being out of town, and have ventured to the Post Office (yes, let's try delivering to a business once on a Saturday and then say "it'll be at the post office" - thanks, USPS), and found myself to have been well and thorougly Quonsed by Multicellular Exothermic! I feel like possibly he has tapped into some feed of my brain that I was not previously aware was public, because for $20 you can't do much better than fancy pens, fancy graph paper (!), and fancy chocolate. Especially caramel bars. And chocolate with spiced cookies?! How awesome is that. So, thank you, Quonsar, and Merry Quonsmas to all!
posted by jferg at 11:21 AM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

I am one happy Quonsee! I was gifted by my new favorite mefite, LuckySeven~, who so brightened my day with such wonderful gifts all beautifully wrapped in tulle and ribbons. I always thought I didn't care how a present was wrapped but these were total candy for the eyes. Inside I found an ininity scarf with pink butterflies which will now be a regular staple in my wardrobe and is just so cheerful. As well as this scrumptious looking (and enormous) tub of dark chocolate sea salt caramels, which look so good I haven't even been able to bring myself to eat one yet; I fear it will be hard to stop!

But the very best part was the handmade card that read "Merry Quonsmas Neely" with a picture of a bulldog puppy on the front. I am such a sucker for the cute and I just love this!! And the message inside was just delightful - kind and warm and full of joy and goodwill. I have been beaming ever since I opened it. LuckySeven~, I just can't thank you enough!! Merry Quonsmas!!
posted by Neely O'Hara at 5:27 PM on December 14, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was quonsed a bit ago but have not had both gifts and myself in the same room until now.

I love it! A chemistry themed journal AND Neko Atsume earrings!

Thank you!
posted by MaritaCov at 5:43 PM on December 14, 2016 [5 favorites]

Yay, you're welcome, MaritaCov!
posted by lazuli at 7:27 PM on December 14, 2016

*stands far back in the shadows, lip trembling*
posted by wenestvedt at 7:31 PM on December 14, 2016 [6 favorites]

I've been Quonsed! Admittedly, it happened nearly two weeks ago but I've only just got around to opening the parcel now due to shitty shitty family stuff (why do people wait until Christmas to tell you Bad Things?). But yes, Quonsed am I!!

And so thank you, dear needlegrrl for the hotsauces, the spices, the candy, and your awesome Holiday Multi-Greeting HV-3 card which I will be stealing and remaking at my earliest opportunity. And apologies for living in what apparently is the last place God made, having seen the amount that you paid for postage and being utterly horrified. I'm so sorry! I did put my hand up for an Asia/Pacific regional Quonsmas because of that very issue, but alas...

Everything made it to the Ass End of the Universe perfectly intact and I can only wonder at your psychic powers as we've been on a bit of an American BBQ craze lately - going through brisket, seasoning and hot sauce in epic quantities - no mean feat as there's only two of us and the cat. The candy is mine though, and I'm not sharing. Merry Quonsmas to you and yours!!
posted by ninazer0 at 9:53 PM on December 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

And it occurs to me that thanks are due also to the Quonczars for their heavy lifting (praise them with great praise!) and to you - good gentlepersons of Metafilter - for making this place so fucking awesome that I literally can't type this without tearing up at the thought of you.

I have had the worst WORST year full of death, grief, far too much cat puke than can be credited by the sane mind, and more GRARR than I care to reflect on. But for me this is a safe place full of good sense and whimsy, and while we don't always agree on things then I can be sure that (mods willing) we can usually agree to disagree and move on, and that the next day will bring something wonderful and new.

So thank YOU, Metafilter. And a very merry Quonsmas to all.
posted by ninazer0 at 10:03 PM on December 14, 2016 [30 favorites]

Handed over my Quansee's to Poste Italiane today, now I just have to sacrifice the virgin goat and hope my Quansee enjoys their bit of Italian Quonse.

posted by romakimmy at 4:57 PM on December 2

It made it to deepest Cornwall in the far SW of England yesterday, I guess that makes it the 12 days of Quonsmas!

Many thanks, the espresso cups and stirrers will definitely see some use, my next door office neighbour has his own machine so this gives me an excuse to scavenge from him. My charm (I don't have the note in front of me and cannot possibly get the spelling even remotely right) is on my key ring and what could be more useful on MeFi than something to ward off the evil eye? Grateful Quonsmas thanks romakmmy! This is just the sort of thing I like to get for my SQ.
posted by biffa at 3:53 AM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

I practically peed my pants with excitement when I opened my package. Mystery Quonsar: you sent the most perfect everything. The volume of Massey Lectures is bang-on the money. What are the chances of that?!

To boot, I chop an unholy amount of small things in any given week so the bamboo chopping board is aces. And I smiled at how thoughtful you were in the slippage department!

But the real kingpin, of course, is the greens stripper: Holy guacamole, Mystery Quonsar, this thing friggin rocks!!! You probably added at least a month to my lifespan, that’s how many greens I strip.

Thank-you so much for all of it! You kicked some serious Quonsmas butt!
I hope the holidays bring you as much delight as you brought me :)

And I'm soooooooo sorry it’s taken me so long to post; I received the parcel on Monday (it may have arrived sooner, but that's when I got to the mailbox!) but have traveling like crazy since.
posted by OlivesAndTurkishCoffee at 4:35 AM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

I am just now finding this thread after receiving my wonderful gift from an anonymous quonser days and days ago. (Thank you, anonymous quonser!) I received a bookmark (just the right size for the book I started reading that very day), an adorably quirky vintage McDonald's toy (my new favorite de-stressing tool at work now), very appropriate magnet, beautiful sticker, and last-but-not-least a box of delicious chocolate. The chocolate is from Olive & Sinclair, aged in bourbon barrels, and tasting of all sorts of good things. It is almost gone now despite my best efforts to savor it, but thank quonsar they deliver. :)
posted by isnotchicago at 6:27 AM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh, isnotchicago, yay, that was me! You're so welcome!
(My mom has boxes and boxes of those McDonald's toys that she collected from us kids; I had to fight her to take one.)
posted by quadrilaterals at 8:00 AM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

Ninazer0, I am so so glad you got it and liked it! It was a lovely opportunity to go by this small local shop that carries a selection of hot sauces that is near our new house. The post office person seemed so unsure of the Australia address and how to record it, I truly wasn't sure if it would get there!

The multi-purpose cards are available at Gumroad as a printable - they are by David Malki, who does Wondermark. He also sells them in his shop, but he's US based.
posted by needlegrrl at 8:01 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

I wasn't in the SQ exchange, but I wanted to add my thanks to all of you for two things:

first -- reading all these comments has been so lovely! Thank you to all of you for reminding me that there's so much good in this world, and that even the little things we do matter.

second -- y'all, I have gotten SO MANY great ideas for future gifting occasions! There is so much cool stuff out there, my only regret is not reading this before I did most of my holiday shopping. (Most exciting to me: Frostbeard Studio is 20 minutes away from me, and I am really looking forward to an expedition there soon!)

Happiest of Quonsmases to you all, MeFites!
posted by Janta at 8:20 AM on December 15, 2016 [8 favorites]

Oh yay, the goat was a virgin after all! (I jest, but I have seriously shitty luck with Poste Italiane over the years, both as sender and receiver.)

So glad you like it! Happy Quonsmas!
posted by romakimmy at 9:00 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

R a c h e l, I'm so glad you received and liked your SQS gifts.... My anxiety is now relieved!
posted by KillaSeal at 9:40 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


It is literally the best thing and also the best timing - my Quonser has sent some incredible handmade origami decorations which is a simply unbelievable coincidence, as I have just this morning purchased my Christmas tree and planned to start decorating the flat tonight.

I also have a scarf, which is super soft and lovely (and ticks all of my 'ethical buying' boxes) but the BEST THING is my tiny acorn chopstick holder. It has pride of place next to my newly-learned chopstick skills.

I love it - thank you Quonser, Quonsar, and Quonsmas in general. You have made this cynical Londoner very happy :)
posted by citands at 10:12 AM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

A bit late to the party as my Quonsmas gift arrived on the weekend, in time for me to have a terrible cold and a big choir concert. But thank you, dear Quonser, for the mini-Louisville Slugger, the notepads, literary temporary tattoos and chocolates! I will wait to eat the chocolates until I can taste things again. :)
posted by LN at 10:57 AM on December 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

zennie -- so glad you liked it!
posted by trillian at 1:08 PM on December 15, 2016

OMG you guys, I got a big box from Cincinnati today from mmascolino!! And inside it were wonderful, local things: chocolates from a local, century-old business (already declared to be Off Limits to my wife), a very intriguing ale (brewed with juniper and ginger, and aged in gin barrels) made near his house, all packed with a note illustrated by a lovely winter scene that his wife painted.

I just had a chocolate-covered almond and it was very good, and the beer is lined up for this weekend. Local stuff, beer, and chocolate -- TOTALLY WORTH THE WAIT. mmascolino, you quonse with style and accuracy. Thank you!!!
posted by wenestvedt at 4:56 PM on December 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

Local stuff, beer, and chocolate

See I wasn't sure about sending alcohol in the mail. I think I worry too much. Nice that it worked for you!
posted by GuyZero at 5:10 PM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yay, Neely! I'm so glad you liked everything! (And hint: the best way to eat that chocolate is by sticking a big fat almond in the middle of each one and going to town!) Have a magical Quonsmas!
posted by LuckySeven~ at 6:19 PM on December 15, 2016

Folks, I've been quonsed in the most fabulous fashion! Thank you so much, dear gift-giver from Colorado. I absolutely love everything! You gave what seems to be your IRL first name, which I won't reveal here, but not your Metafilter handle, so all of my effusive thanks will have to be in this space.

Behold my many fabulous treasures, all wrapped in the most festive paper: Amazing almond toffee from Enstrom (I cackled with glee when I realized there were two layers of toffee. How did you know toffee is one of my all-time favorite sweets?), a darling and fun Denver, Colorado bag (so many uses!), and the most lovely and charming beads ever, from the gift-giver's favorite bead store. (I,too, hope for the peaceful message offered by the lily). It's all wonderful in every way, (My calico Sisel approves) and I can't thank you enough for the thought you put into the package, and all of the interesting backstories to your presents. Wishing you and yours a most wonderful Quonsmas!
posted by but no cigar at 6:36 PM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

In the middle of the day today, I got a text notifying me that there was a package waiting for me at home. This fact made the rest of the workday go soooooo slowwwwly! But then I got to go home to my Secret Quonsar present! Thank you, anonymous SQ, for a lovely annotated Lovecraft collection! I have several small stand-alone LC books in my "can't bear to get rid of these physical books" bookcase, and it will fit perfectly among the other books there. Cant' wait to dive into it too, since I love annotations! Thank you, thank you, that made me happy!
posted by gemmy at 7:29 PM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

Er, that was me, but no cigar. I apparently went into "note-writing mode" and forgot to use my handle. I'm so glad everything arrived safely and that you like the toffee! A festive Quonsmas to all!
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 7:54 PM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have been thoroughly quonsed by maxwelton! I opened my package to find a santa hat full of goodies: pencils for my collection, an octopus sock and a handmade octopus puzzle box containing the other sock, a candy and a tiny, fuzzy octopus!

My husband has almost gotten the box back together again... it will probably easier when this strange moisture falling from the sky goes away :-)

First-time Quonsmas achieved!
posted by amapolaroja at 8:02 PM on December 15, 2016 [5 favorites]

Thank you EmilyNP for the tantalizing coffee, chocolate turkey lollipops (!), and cat toys. Little Captain Janeway and Archer Bearcat mark their approval by moving too quickly to capture in focus.
posted by esoterrica at 8:34 PM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]

After a long finals season, I finally made it back to my hometown for winter break. In addition to the joy I felt being done with the semester and seeing my family again, I also felt the magic of Quonsmas when I opened up some packages to find a walking guide to Denver and what I'm sure will be a very useful Denver winter hat! As exploring new cities by foot and hats with pom-poms are two of my favorite things, my SQ did an incredible job and made me even more excited about my move to Denver next year. I seriously cannot stop bouncing up and down and smiling. Thank you so so so much, anonymous SQ, and a happy Quonsmas to all! (sidenote: apologies for posting rather late, your gifts got here promptly but, by erring on the side of caution and putting my permanent address, I sadly did not)
posted by that silly white dress at 9:27 PM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm borderline the lamest Quonsar ever and just sent my package out yesterday. Quonsee, don't despair! It should arrive on your Floridian doorstep on Saturday 12/17! (God and the USPS willing.)
posted by hapax_legomenon at 9:44 PM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

Thank you congen! Your flat and well-taped parcel was waiting in my office pigeonhole all day long and I only saw it this afternoon as I rushed out. The squooshy luggage tag with a map of your hometown and the lovely little cards perfectly fit my pernickety suggestion list and I'm off on a trip home on Monday! Happy Quonsmas to all!
posted by mdonley at 4:15 AM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

As approach our 300th Yes!, we're going to get proactive. Starting this weekend, we'll be reaching to people for whom we have no status, to people who we have a Sent! status, and maybe once again to that 6 folks marked as Maybes in our list.

Second Chancer Volunteers will also be getting an email from me this weekend.

(Next Statistics post will come shortly after the 300th Yes).
posted by julen at 12:55 PM on December 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

(Next Statistics post will come shortly after the 300th Yes)
... I'll have what she's having. (sorry)
posted by jillithd at 2:06 PM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

I have received my gifts, and they are amazing. Not only was there so many forms of yumminess, but I also received two very cool glass coasters, and a cookbook and a book with pirates, mimes, ninjas, existential dread, and Tupperware. In fact I got all this last week, but spent all my free time so wrapped up in the story that I forgot to post that I got it.

Thanks so much to the wonderful ohkay.
posted by Gygesringtone at 6:31 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

Minervous, THANK YOU for the excellent ingredients! I already have several plans for that shrub syrup, mostly involving strange and wonderful flavors of homemade ice cream. Can't wait to see how it turns out! :-)

Something new and unfamiliar! My favorite quonsmas thing!
posted by duffell at 6:48 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

OK. I just sent more than 70 emails to folks for whom we had absolutely no gift-related status asking if they had gotten their present. I suspect we'll be going over 300 tonight, which means new statistics tomorrow!

Also, this year's frontrunner for Most Disappointing Delivery Service is the USA's own USPS. I'd like to say "In Your Face!" to Canada, whose postal service seems to have gotten their act together this year.
posted by julen at 6:50 PM on December 16, 2016 [5 favorites]

Oh! Postal service of my silly country! You have delivered part 2 of my quonsee's gift before part 1, despite shipping them the same way 10 days apart!

mdonley, I am very glad you got your luggage tag in time for your trip and hope the other parcel is awaiting you when you return. I must insist that the cookies included in part 1 (left over from the lovely metafilter cookie swap) be used as pucks in a demonstration of hockey for your students as they will surely be far too stale to attempt eating by the time you get them.

Happy travels!
posted by congen at 6:54 PM on December 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


I received a nice inquiry from the Quonsmas Sprites to see if I'd gotten my package yet. Well, the tricky bit is that this month caught me in the midst of an interstate move and starting a new job while my husband stayed home here to finish his old job. I've been sallying back and forth between the two places, a 5-6 hour drive. So I had heard that Quonsmas had come to my house, but I wasn't there yet - so it had to wait until tonight - my first return to the old house in 2 weeks! But here it is! Quonsmas in real time!

The long-awaited package contains bunch of totally interesting treats from a Russian grocery! Griphus, thanks for the Peasant Brand ginger cookies - (already eating one and wow, delicious, gently sweet little spicy cakes) - plus the sunflower seeds (with instructions to "eat on a park bench and leave a huge mess of shells") and the Mother-in-Law Brand gourmet mustard! I love mustard and this looks like something that's going to be great with sausages or pierogi this winter. Though I will heed your advice to be sparing in its use.

Unusual edibles - among my favorite things! Thank you for the thoughtful gift and the translations of the brand names. I'll be enjoying these! Happy Quonsmas friend!
posted by Miko at 7:47 PM on December 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

I'd like to say "In Your Face!" to Canada, whose postal service seems to have gotten their act together this year.
I don't know about that...I paid 20 bucks for postage which only managed to get me a "maybe 3 weeks, probably a month" estimate from the Canada Post dude. I feel bad that I couldn't afford the next tier of service.
Last year my package was delayed to Australia for a mail strike or something, I don't know. I guess even though I always mail on time, I've become the late guy now.
posted by chococat at 10:35 PM on December 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I may have spoken too early. There was quite a string of Canadian "Not yet!"s to my emails earlier tonight enquiring if their gifts have arrived, and I noted several more are still to be heard from.

Our local (US) post office tried the ol' "It's 12 days to Christmas and we've got a lot of packages. Let's just choose to not deliver them and tell those few people among the 75,000 people we serve who might get a package in the next 12 days they have to trundle up to a poorly placed, designed, infrastructured, and sized post office surrounded by major shopping areas to pick that package up themselves." this week. What could possibly go wrong? (The idea has since been abandoned, but it's put them even further behind in terms of delivering packages.)
posted by julen at 11:06 PM on December 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

I absolutely love the little chromatic pitch pipe - thank you so much. Can't wait to start making some new noises! (At the risk of sound Grinchy, Quonsar parcels to the UK need to have 'gift' written on the customs forms or all else you get charged fees to collect the parcel)
posted by srednivashtar at 12:45 AM on December 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

Julen - another USPS statistic for you. The package I sent to my quonsee was sent to another state (!) but thankfully they got the package about a week later. I have no idea if the post office fixed their mistake or if the tracking info was wrong, but thankfully it has a happy ending.

Also, many thanks to you and the other organizers for the work you do behind the scenes to make Quonsmas happen. You are all awesome.
posted by rakaidan at 4:02 AM on December 17, 2016

Oh! I've been Quonsed! I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I received a wonderful and marvelous package from Nat this morning, which has been on a long and marvelous journey to get to me but in the end was shipped from just 3 hours away! Quon S. Nisse, a dignified gnome of European ancestry, met Nat in a Christmas market in Copenhagen, but could not be mailed from Copenhagen because the post-office was closed for Metro construction. Quon, joined by real Swedish fish from real Sweden had to wait. Fortunately, Quon - being a gnome of the world, had his EU passport and went with Nat to South Africa for a conference where he and the fish were joined by Turkish and Iranian candy. However, Quon was declared a Work of Art in danger of being destroyed after seizure by customs if sent from Pretoria. So he, the candy, fish, and Nat ended up in Ann Arbor, where he made his way to Columbus. Also, while Quon was sight-seeing in South Africa, he saw an elephant; a gnomes-eye rendition was included. And his passport has been properly stamped and vetted by the proper authorities!

I'm completely delighted by all of this! Aside from how marvelous the story is, how very handsome Quon is, and how tasty the Iranian and Turkish candies look, Swedish fish are my very favorite candy but I've never actually had real, FROM SWEDEN Swedish fish (for my 18th birthday, friends gave me 10 pounds of Swedish fish. It was... an absurd amount of Swedish fish). I'm going to hold onto those for a little longer before I open them and devour them, but Quon has a place of honor where Triceratops cannot get too much closer. It all smelled very interesting, but Quon's beard made her sneeze.

Nat, thank you so much! 2016 has been a heck of a year, but this is such a cheerful bright spot in a very gloomy December and I'm very grateful!
posted by ChuraChura at 6:30 AM on December 17, 2016 [21 favorites]

MetaFilter: varfoer 'nt 900-ort fiskar?
posted by dorian at 9:49 AM on December 17, 2016

Quonsar parcels to the UK need to have 'gift' written on the customs forms or all else you get charged fees to collect the parcel

I feel like there must be some nuance of this that has escaped me when I've mailed gifts from the U.S. to the U.K., because despite my checking the "gift" checkbox on the customs forms, I think tax may be getting levied anyway in some cases. The question is, what does the U.K. care about/pay attention to more: there being specifics in the field where you're supposed to write the contents, or the "gift" checkbox having been checked? Like if I write out the contents of the package, so as to avoid any issue or rejection that could result from just writing "GIFT," does that somehow in the eyes of UK customs invalidate the "gift" checkbox having been checked? I'm probably beanplating this, but curious what people have experienced in this regard, so I know what magic combination of words and symbols works next time I attempt this!
posted by limeonaire at 11:04 AM on December 17, 2016 [3 favorites]

signal! I just got a very exciting visit from the mail carrier. Thank you so much for the super charming music box! You're right, that's a very touching story that goes along with it and a very pretty tune. What a fantastic Quonsmas!!
posted by orrnyereg at 1:57 PM on December 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

Some quonsing notes:

I've not responded to some of the emails letting me know about your successful gift-getting, mostly because I'm spending my bandwidth on folks whose gifts have not yet arrived yet. Imagine me, the hamsters, and the marmoset doing a fist pump, exchanging high fives, and chugging egg nog shooters when your emails of successful gift arrival roll in.

I sent out the Have You Got It emails a little early this year compared to past years. I knew people were already worrying, and of course, that some gifts would not have arrived yet (international, gifts sent late for various reasons, weird postal service-imposed staycations in and scenic side-trips to inexplicable post offices, weather issues) but I'm glad I did. You folks are really lovely.

I would also like to commend people for their patience, especially if you are waiting on a gift or even waiting for a thank you. It's been a tough fall, often in ways you don't see for folks, and it can be difficult to remember that folks have whole lives offline that aren't visible online. I see a bit more of it than you folks do, but people are doing the best they can in the circumstances they find themselves in, and quite honestly, these days, that feels just a little heroic.

Second Chance Volunteers will be getting emails tomorrow morning.

Statistics will be going up later tonight.
posted by julen at 2:55 PM on December 17, 2016 [19 favorites]

Can we blame the gremlins on the weird postal error that my SQ gift experienced? I double-checked my confirmation post and my address was correct, and I'm sure the Quonsar elves very handily forwarded the information correctly, but for some strange reason, a digit fell off of my house number which meant that my package went back to djinn dandy for redelivery. Let's just blame the gremlins, okay? I think that's fair enough.
posted by TrishaLynn at 7:01 PM on December 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

The Latest Statistics!
420     Folks quonsaring it up.
312     Gifts have arrived! That’s 74.3% of all gifts!
034     Gifts have no status at all (check your email)
032     Gifts have a sending status
066     Unique animals represented in gifts (so far)
025     Gifts have not arrived yet
009     People are saving their packages to be opened later
007     Gifts are currently marked Maybe (Tracking Says Yes) (check your email)
006     Packages who took off for side-trips
003     Packages that took a staycation at a postal warehouse for days and days.
002     Roosters at a Post Office
002     Second Chancers deployed earlier than usual
001     Holiday-related pet costumes
001     Gift sent by the vendor to the sender and not the quonsee.
001     Cats technically in socks
001     Gift Returned to Sender (a new low!)
001     Ninja

You’ll notice that our arrived/no status/sending status/not arrived numbers don’t add up to 420. We have a couple of one-time special statuses for unique or unusual circumstances, too. We also have several people who have received half of their gifts.

Sending status means we know when it was sent (and sometimes a little more); those recipients will be getting emails early this week.
posted by julen at 7:59 PM on December 17, 2016 [10 favorites]

limeonaire, they care about the monetary value of the gift. A gift with a value of more than GBP 15.00 (about USD 19.00) will be charged GBP 7-8.00 Import VAT plus a customs handling charge of GBP 8.00. So if you send a gift at the top of the suggested range of USD 20.00 the recipient will be charged USD 19-20 to receive it.
posted by tel3path at 12:32 AM on December 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

orrnyereg: "signal! I just got a very exciting visit from the mail carrier. Thank you so much for the super charming music box! You're right, that's a very touching story that goes along with it and a very pretty tune. What a fantastic Quonsmas!!"

Yay! You made my day, so glad you liked it!
posted by signal at 5:31 AM on December 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

esoterrica, glad the gift arrived! your cats are super cute! have a wonderful holiday season!
posted by the twistinside at 8:05 AM on December 18, 2016

I came home to a package from Australia yesterday, just as I was starting to worry that my first-ever Quonsmas package was amongst those languishing in USPS purgatory (despite julen telling me not to worry just yet)! escapepod sent me some tasty coffee and lovely hand-dyed sock yarn from Sydney and the Blue Mountains nearby, accompanied by a shiny Christmas unicorn card. I've already enjoyed some of the coffee, and the yarn is destined for the next sock pattern in my Ravelry queue. Thank you so much, escapepod! This was perfect. Happy Quonsmas!
posted by kiripin at 1:02 PM on December 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

I am remiss in saying that I did indeed get my secret quonsar gift; however it is still a secret to me! I got a mysterious package in the mail, asked my husband to open it and confirm that it was indeed my SQ gift, and then put it under the tree.

As I mentioned last year, my small family opens one gift on Christmas Eve, so I save my secret quonsar gift to open then. It makes a special night even better.

So thank you secret quonsar, whoever you may be!! I'll send an update on Christmas!
posted by lyssabee at 1:18 PM on December 18, 2016 [4 favorites]

There is still this HUGE UNOPENED BOX under the tree and it makes me SO HAPPY because a tree with gifts under it is such a happy thing and today my boisterous boy cat wanted to play Ambush around the tree and we played at least six rounds. And on Xmas morning, he can have the box!
posted by tel3path at 3:50 PM on December 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

001 Cats technically in socks

So close to winning the gold medal on this one. So close.

posted by mudpuppie at 4:24 PM on December 18, 2016 [4 favorites]

Big thanks to Kimberussell for some very nice drawing pencils and Shrinky Dinks. Which are still a thing! These are just blank sheets of clear Shrinky material, so I am free to create whatever Dinky art I can imagine. With snow days sure to come it is nice to know I have a solid activity for me the kids ready to go.

Also, thank you to whoever sent the first quonsmas package to me that did not arrive -- I am fairly certain it was delivered and then stolen from my porch, so maybe it still found its way to a stranger who was hopefully able to appreciate it.
posted by cubby at 7:14 PM on December 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

[[has late-night quonsar idea, executes upon said idea]]

I must say, this is some of the best fun I've had in a while. Rockin' my world, quonsar crew.
posted by limeonaire at 11:25 PM on December 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

PussKillian, thanks for the thought, but please don't worry about sending a replacement. This makes for a much better story :)
posted by appleses at 5:43 AM on December 19, 2016

I also got a cool ctr-alt-delete tray in addition to headphones, which I believe was from my Secret Quonsar!

Thank you!
posted by typecloud at 6:19 AM on December 19, 2016 [3 favorites]

I forgot to mention earlier, in my glee and excitement at having been quonsed myself, that my quonsee oceanjesse and I have MADE QUONSMAS HISTORY this year as the CLOSEST EVER non-wedded quonsar/qonsee pair ever to have emerged from the "Give Anywhere/Get Anywhere" hamster randomisation bucket.
I had to trek an ASTONISHINGLY ARDUOUS 2.5 blocks (neighborhood blocks, not city blocks, so about 450m) to hand deliver oceanjesse's gift from my front door to his. I've only now recovered from the effort!

Anywho, I think the randomization hamsters may need to lay off the egg-nog next year. They're getting rather lax in their shuffling efforts! ;p
posted by Dorinda at 6:43 AM on December 19, 2016 [10 favorites]

I have been Secretly and Mysteriously Quonsed! And all the way from NORWAY!

I'll confess here that I am one of those people some of you find irritating when it comes to giving SQ gift guidance, specifically in that I don't really give any. I always just say "Send me something YOU would like" because the joy of SQ, for me, comes from getting a little peek into the unknown world of an internet stranger, connected via Metafilter though we are.

So, imagine my extreme delight when I open my long, tubular package (more on this in a minute) to find not only my gift but also a note from my SQ, the gist of which was, "I struggled for a bit on your gift but then decided to take your advice to heart. I'm a bit of a map nerd and have been wanting one of these for awhile so this was the perfect reason for me to pull the trigger on getting one for myself as well as one for you!"

And thus, I unfurled this: Alkebu-lan 1260 AH, a signed print of "...a map of what Africa could have looked like in the mid 19th century if Europe had never become a colonizing world power" created by the Swedish artist, Nikolaj Cyon.

Now, I don't think there's any way my SQ could know that not only am I HUGE map nerd (I live a block away from David Rumsey, who had, until recently when he donated his collection to Stanford University, one of the largest private map collections in the world -- and a few years ago I had the great good fortune to see part of his collection) -- BUT ALSO -- I lived and worked in Africa (Cameroon and the Democratic Republic of Congo) for five years in the mid-2000s, and often remarked on how the political borders of the countries had very little, if anything, to do with the culture of the people who lived there.

All of that is to say that this is a perfect gift for me and I love it so much! Tusen takk, mystery Norwegian MeFite, tusen takk!
posted by hapax_legomenon at 1:17 PM on December 19, 2016 [30 favorites]

I moved to another state, this is not a metaphysical enstatement. I did all the change of address in a timely fashion. The move was unexpected. It will work out. I am watching for the post person.
posted by Oyéah at 3:21 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have been Quonsed in extraordinary fashion by the incredibly talented and generous ApathyGirl! She sent me the most dazzling handmade scarf in history, in a fantastic starburst pattern and all my very favorite rainbow colors. Its softness and brightness will get me through this hard winter. She also enclosed, if I'm not mistaken, a hand-whittled clasp (wooden, because I react to metal-- so thoughtful!!) that is lovely and romantic and rather reminiscent of Gandalf's pipe. AND, to top it all off, the prettiest shell-inlaid festive USB drive I've ever seen... containing the complete David Bowie! I have no idea how she cobbled together all these albums and rarities, many of which I had despaired of ever owning, but she did! I am stunned and very thrilled. I can't thank you enough, ApathyGirl, for restoring my faith in humanity and beauty and brightness and art in a dark year.
posted by thetortoise at 4:32 PM on December 19, 2016 [13 favorites]

Starting tomorrow morning, I'm going to be spending about 30 hours straight in planes and airports. I've just been told that there's a quonsar parcel waiting for me at the other end, so the prospect is suddenly much less grim!
posted by une_heure_pleine at 5:24 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

astapasta24, I'm so glad you liked the package! (the smoked salmon was literally a last-minute addition) I've had an exhausting and honestly kind of messed-up Nov/Dec and I was Determined! to send out something nice.
posted by epersonae at 5:31 PM on December 19, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hooray, successful Quonsing!
I did intend to make a Middle Earth-y scarf/shawl clasp, though it came out more awkward to use than i thought. If you have long hair, it can be used there as well, somewhat less awkwardly. It's manzanita, and responds well to sandpaper should you like to further smooth or shape it to better work for you. =D
The Bowie collection comes courtesy of my partner, a lifelong fan and obsessive music Collector-completionist.
I'm thrilled that you're thrilled!
posted by ApathyGirl at 5:35 PM on December 19, 2016 [4 favorites]

Small second update: ilicet, I have made three loaves of cinnamon bread with the cinnamon you sent me, and it is delicious. Top of the line cinnamon. People love cinnamon. It should be on the table at restaurants along with salt and pepper! Thanks again.
posted by sockermom at 6:12 PM on December 19, 2016 [3 favorites]

If anyone still has packages to mail, here's a $5.00 of $15.00 coupon and a 20% off packaging services from FedEx. The $5.00 off $15.00 coupon is good until 1/31/17!
posted by LuckySeven~ at 8:29 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have been quonsed all the the way from Australia! Thank you to Lesium for the collection of wonderful, local things! In the spirit of Quonsmas, the book of postcards flipped open to this page. Quonsmas: Shit Just Got Magical.
posted by atropos at 8:51 PM on December 19, 2016 [7 favorites]

YAY! Thank you metaquarry for the fabulous gift containing goodies such as a delightful notepad, journal, and a caffeine related towel. Looking forward to starting the hopefully much better year of 2017 with some earnest scribbling!
posted by recklessbrother at 9:28 PM on December 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

Thanks to mandolin conspiracy I now have authentic Canadian maple syrup in my Swedish kitchen! And a book to boot. Yay quansa!

Now, to find a way to use the syrup - any suggestions?
posted by monocultured at 1:42 AM on December 20, 2016 [3 favorites]

You're welcome, cubby! Happy Quonsmas to all of us because SHRINKY DINK PAPER STILL EXISTS!
posted by kimberussell at 7:33 AM on December 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

monocultured - maple syrup is delicious drizzled on pancakes and waffles! Also good as a sweetener for oatmeal.
posted by jillithd at 8:00 AM on December 20, 2016 [3 favorites]

Woo hoo! My gift made it all the way Sweden! International quonsing achieved!

You're very welcome.

Toasted nuts with maple syrup and rosemary (for a vegan version, you can omit the butter, or substitute with coconut oil).

Roasted sweet potato slices with maple syrup are delicious too!

And yes, drizzled on most breakfast things.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:19 AM on December 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

Wheeeeee my awesome gift from Carmicha came! A book I've been meaning to read (yippee!) and some fun, colorful socks. THANK YOU! And a happy Quonsmas to all!
posted by Zephyrial at 8:40 AM on December 20, 2016

Maple syrup also makes a great ice cream topping!
posted by easily confused at 9:26 AM on December 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hooray my quonsmas present arrived yesterday! Since it is so close to Christmas I'm going to wait to open it, but I want my lovely Canadian quonsar to know that it has successfully cleared customs and is waiting under my tree to be fully appreciated. Thank you!
posted by athenasbanquet at 9:27 AM on December 20, 2016

My quonsor quonsed me with a neato Inception spinning top. Now I know I am not dreaming and Trump really is the president elect. Boo! But yay to my quonsor. :)
posted by ian1977 at 9:29 AM on December 20, 2016 [3 favorites]

Now, to find a way to use the syrup - any suggestions?

Its probably stolen. You should ship it to me ASAP so I can get it in the evidence locker (AKA my belly)
posted by ian1977 at 9:34 AM on December 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

It came, it came, it came! The best post-birthday, you've-just-finished-turning-in-the-semester-grades present ever, from Pareidoliatic Boy all the way out in Vancouver!

A present from the Internet! What could it be?

Is it...file folders? (I could use some of those actually)

No...it's books!
The Golden Mean by Annabel Lyon and Foxfire by Joyce Carol Oates (who was a creative writing prof at my undergrad and who I used to sell theatre tickets to every once and a while. Man, is she intense and tiny). I was actually writing my year's wrap-up for my weekly books column right before I picked this up, and I'm so excited to have reading material to take to Florida tomorrow morning!

Also, I'm SUPER happy I got this before I went to Florida for ten days, because it's not just books, OMG it's handmade smoked salmon from Chiliwack! You guys, I literally got salmon in the mail. And it's amazing how much I trust Metafilter, because I'm actually eating it right now, and it is great (I was too afraid to ask you guys "should I eat this" - but, uh, should I eat this? Too late!) I even had one last bagel that I was about to eat before I picked this up. It's a Quonsmas miracle!

Anyway, thank you so much Pareidoliatic Boy, and I can't wait to do this again next year (unless I die from eating too much Internet Salmon).
posted by ilana at 10:07 AM on December 20, 2016 [6 favorites]

2016 having been and being what it is I hardly even want to stick my head outside my front door these days. Luckily I still have to for work and all the other usual reasons. But as it happens I was away from home for a number of weeks and when I finally returned I found that I had been quonsed!

There were not one but two Quonsmas gifts!!!!

One was a lovely and super-practical garden colander for collecting veggies and berries in which Mrs. Lobster immediately confiscated and claimed for herself since this year 'round she's been the more active of the two us in our little garden.

The other was a documentary on DVD. My Secret Quonsar must have dug deep through my comment history and found that I'm incredibly fond of a particular ancient Egyptian mask from a sarcophagus found in one of the tombs discovered during more recent times, KV-63, located in the Valley of the Kings. And they found a documentary about the tomb I didn't even know existed.

Dear SQ, you have no idea how happy your gifts have made me!!! They're perfect... thank you so much!!! Many apologies for it taking me so long to post this here!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 11:34 AM on December 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

Dear Secret Quonsar: Was it you that sent me this gorgeous golden headband?
posted by divabat at 1:12 PM on December 20, 2016

A HUGE thank you to my SQ who sent me some of my most favorite things! The Pike's Peak dark chocolate? Dear GOD, it was delicious. Even though I wanted to keep it all for myself. I begrudgingly shared a piece with my husband. We were both in heaven. I'm actually having a cup of the coffee you sent as I write this.

I'm so sorry it took me this long to thank you. 2016 has been a craptastic year. Thank you for making it a little bit brighter with your gift. You rock!!
posted by Nutritionista at 1:53 PM on December 20, 2016

"should I eat this"

Absoutively, you should, Ilana. Hot-smoked salmon (properly vacuum-sealed) has a shelf-life of about 5 years. I actually had tried to time it to arrive this Thursday or Friday so there would be some for the holidays. Seems though that it's a good thing that Canada Post out-performed their delivery expectations. Glad that the impulse to fill the spaces in the shipping box with books instead of packing paper was a worthwhile inspiration.

My own package addressed to pareidoliaticboy is being brought over here this afternoon to my temporary store-front. I had guessed that we wouldn't be open in the new location on time, so I used the other store in Burnaby as the mailing address. It actually arrived there last week, but this unusually cold weather has delayed its transfer. I will post after I unwrap.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 2:45 PM on December 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

Hi everyone!

I just sent out 30 emails to folks for whose gifts we have sending date data to see if the gift actually arrived. There are still outstanding emails in the mailboxes of folks whom we have marked Maybe (Tracking says Yes, but we have no confirmation) and in the mailboxes of folks for whom we have no data at all. Please check your mailboxes for email from our gmail account, secretquonsarswap .

The marmoset says "How do!" by the way, for those of you for whom we do have status information, whether it be Yes! It arrived or Not Yet! or even Tracking Shows This Package Acting Weirdly
posted by julen at 4:38 PM on December 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

Is there a status update for "I THINK this is from my quonsar but I don't have enough information either way"?
posted by divabat at 4:57 PM on December 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

I've been quonsed! Some pins, earrings, a bracelet and two little books from the British Library. This is perfect and couldn't have arrived at a better time.
posted by sgrass at 5:19 PM on December 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

So, I have been Quonsed! Unlike my giftee, Ilana, whose extensive suggestion-list and background information about bad ideas made thinking of something for her childishly easy, my own hints are always next to useless. I can never think of anything when someone asks me what i might want. This year, I believe that the best I could up with was "No socks! I have all the socks I'll ever need!" or some version thereof.

Pretty much a waste of pixels, right? You'd think so, but somehow my Quonser, machine, managed to pick something absolutely perfect for an avid-cyclist who works in the industry, and has like 5 or 6 of almost everything one could think of bicycling related.

She either spent copious time sifting through my comment history, or has the deduction skills of Sherlock Holmes. I am now the proud owner of this awesome bottle-opener, made from recycled bike parts from this really cool place.

Given that there are like 5 micro-breweries within a 4-minute bike-ride from where I am opening my new store, this baby is gonna get a lot of use, and pride of place in the new kitchen.

I have also just signed up to be a dealer, when the new store opens in January, so this was truly an inspired and thoughtful gift! So amazing! Still can't believe it. Shakes head in wonder.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 5:40 PM on December 20, 2016 [10 favorites]

Thanks so much NinaZer0 for my delightful quonsmas gifts!

In the notes I put on the signup form, I commented that the best part of Secret Quonsar was getting a SURPRISE PACKAGE! In terms of delicious anticipation, this parcel did not disappoint. The parcel had been sitting at my post office since Monday, with me itching to go and pick it up. I went to the post office this morning and saw the postal worker bring forth a box wrapped with "FRAGILE!" tape...exciting!...what could be in it? It sat on the seat next to me on the way to work and I willed myself to develop x-ray vision. When I got to work and cut through the tape, I found a gorgeous illuminated Quonsmas message (complete with fireworks and a butterfly!) and (amidst the miscellany of bubble wraps), a trivet, a jar of home made lemongrass-tea tree foot soak and a glorious coloured glass ornament.

Given the almost complete lack of direction in my comments, it's hard to imagine how you have chosen things I would have chosen for myself - I love the smell of lemongrass, my feet need all the help they can get, and I have a particular fondness for coloured glass objects. Thank you so much.
posted by Cheese Monster at 5:47 PM on December 20, 2016 [6 favorites]

It arrived yesterday: my excellent Quonsmas package! After dinner, with my family around me, I opened the box to find: fine dark chocolate with chili (perfect); a Kylo Ren eraser (you get me); a #BUTTS sticker (can any of you tell me where I should stick this?); a bag of very good freshly-roasted coffee, which I am drinking at present (perfect!); and a nice Quonsmas card from my Secret Quonsar, Halloween Jack! Thanks, HJ!

Here's a photo of my Quonsmas presents.
posted by Songdog at 5:02 AM on December 21, 2016 [6 favorites]

My Quonsmas gift is coming in April - when the new book by my all-time favorite author is released! Thanks so much!
posted by Coffeemate at 8:54 AM on December 21, 2016 [6 favorites]

"You got a monkey” said my boss.

He dropped a parcel on my desk, and stood there staring at me. I stammered, then quickly mumbled something random about ordering Christmas gift for the kids to the office to avoid detection. That seemed to satisfy him and he wandered off.

I examined the package. Indeed, the customs declaration was doing what customs declarations do best: spoiling the surprise. A list of several items strongly suggested that this was a delivery from my Secret Quonsar! But item #1 on the list was “Monkey”. Monkey is always #1.

But what kind of monkey? A sea monkey? a Barrel of Monkeys monkey? a funky monkey? Cymbal banging monkey? Julius the Monkey? 1980’s Monchhichi? It couldn’t be live, though one could hope. Shaking the box gave me no hints, and no monkey sounds.

So finally I opened it up… SOCK MONKEY!
Sock monkey was not impressed with the leg room in coach.

In the card, a lovely message from my Secret Quonsar, gemmy. Buried in the box were Japanese postcards of cool naval vessels, Swedish candy, a DC magnet, a fossilized Miocene Snaggletooth shark’s tooth (how cool is that!), and the most thoughtful gift of all - a spider monkey sock monkey hand-made by gemmy! Wow!! I’m just so impressed by the beauty, quality, and goofiness of this monkey. I love it. Thanks you so much for all the wonderful gifts!

And in case you’re wondering, gemmy informs me the monkey already has a name: Melk.
posted by Kabanos at 9:47 AM on December 21, 2016 [16 favorites]

I am so happy and excited for everyone in this thread—I keep coming back to it and reading all the new posts because it's just like all the love. We have so much love for each other here, people.
posted by limeonaire at 4:38 PM on December 21, 2016 [14 favorites]

Yay, Kabanos! So happy he made it there to his new family! :)
(Taiwanese vessels, tho, not Japanese. Calligraphy by an Admiral I know.)
posted by gemmy at 5:36 PM on December 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

"You got a monkey” said my boss.

I mean, haven't you always wanted a monkey?
posted by ilana at 6:35 PM on December 21, 2016 [11 favorites]

<3 Songdog
<3 TPS

it has been a while?

<3 limeonaire this thread most-defs warms the something-somethings of my heart
posted by dorian at 7:34 PM on December 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Belated (dec5 arrival) public thanks to meggan for a wonderful quonsaring! Adorable handmade wooden cheese spreader, tasty gourmet salts to try, dark chocolate deliciousness and tree tattoos!
This year is a little less dumpster firey
posted by tangaroo at 7:50 PM on December 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Selfnoise! That was me, the deliverer of science experiments! I'm glad to hear they will be put to good use!!

I received an incredible package from Blnkfrnk a couple of weeks ago (oops)! Thank you for a ton of really cool and possibly Danish things! My southern California kids were pretty stoked to finally have snowballs to throw, and my 8 year old daughter yelped and grabbed for the story cubes like she had uncovered something of pure gold. Also, books of random facts are basically crack to me, and the tote bag is both adorable and very useful in a state that has just banned plastic grocery bags. Thank you again for such thoughtful gifts!
posted by sleeping bear at 11:00 PM on December 21, 2016

Thank you to whichever one of you awesome people sent me a rocket! More specifically, a kit to build a Green Rocket "made from trash, powered by green energy". I have for years lamented the fact that being a grownup means you don't get toys to play with on Christmas Day, so I'm planning to bring this out after lunch to mess around with. I've already had to warn my sister that she only gets a turn after I've had a go - some things never change. Thank you, mystery secret quonsar!
posted by une_heure_pleine at 2:46 AM on December 22, 2016 [6 favorites]

Areaperson is an amazing gift-giver. I received spices (Penzeys!) And several different mustards and a black cat bag and pins and a beautiful hand made drawing and more! Everything was great and will be used and appreciated. The drawing is on my refrigerator, the Hillary pin is on my partner's lapel and the spices are in my future. THANK YOU.
posted by InkaLomax at 11:54 AM on December 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

Dear Inka Lomax, Thank you for the lovely gift! Such a fun surprise to come home to! Looking forward to using everything you sent me! Happy Holidays!
posted by the twistinside at 3:30 PM on December 22, 2016 [2 favorites]

I am very tardy to this thank you party, because I got my package weeks ago but my household was hit by multiple illnesses and I am just now catching up with mail. Thanks, Apoch, for the Michigan goodies! I have a good friend from MI and I love the mitten shorthand! We are going to get a lot of use out of the bottle opener! Thanks and again I am so sorry that I couldn't thank you sooner!
posted by candyland at 5:23 AM on December 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hairy Lobster sent me riches. Bird shaped cookies, quince bread, a book by Douglas Adams on endangered animals and the attempts to save them, and ... my very own (inanimate) Northern Flicker (my favorite N. American continent bird, the first I identified in the Midwest and the one that reignited my delight in birds and bird watching) and an American Robin (ubiquitous but always surprising). The nutty cookies are helpfully labelled so I know not to feed them to my nut allergic friend (though I see I've eaten a lot a lot of the nut frees - oops). Everything wrapped in wax paper which made it seem like a school lunch my mother packed: grasping at the straws of nostalgia these days and grateful for the opportunity.

Thankful? Delighted? You bet. Quonsmas and its participants rock.

Picture 1
Picture 2
Picture 3
posted by firstdrop at 8:04 AM on December 23, 2016 [5 favorites]

Mine arrived today. I've sent a private thank-you but also wanted to publicly thank Ian1977 for nailing the 'super awesome gift that I didn't realize how much I wanted thing.' He sent me the book 'What if?' by Randall Munroe (xkcd) which is just so perfectly my type of book. It's actually book that I have contemplated getting myself but need vs want always won out.

I also got some hershey's kisses and york mint patties which I will try not to eat all in one sitting but it's going to be hard.

Thank you. I'm so happy!
posted by Jalliah at 11:04 AM on December 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

Stumbled in from some last-minute pre-holiday grocery shopping and lo and behold. An express package was waiting.

What could it be? My Secret Quonsar's package, that's what. Thank you!

Inside was a vintage LP of The Band's Stage Fright!

With Robbie Robertson putting his memoir out recently, I was thinking I needed to dip back into The Band again, because there are some bits of their catalogue I'm not totally familiar with. This album is one of those things.

It gets even better - an Independence Hall fridge magnet from Philly. Here's the thing - our fridge is plastered with magnets because we try to pick one up when we travel somewhere, and friends who go somewhere know to bring us back a magnet

It fits right in.

I have a first name for you, but no user name! Hope me Secret Quonsar! I'd like you to be properly thanked publicly!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:29 PM on December 23, 2016 [3 favorites]

I got my quonsmas package from Songdog yesterday, who lives, it seems, in a magical alternative Massachusetts where maple trees drop leaves made of maple sugar, and chocolate bubbles up from chocolate springs. Which I want to visit now, because as you can see from my photo, I couldn't wait and started eating the chocolates before taking the photo. Anyone who knows me well will tell you chocolates evaporate in my vicinity.
There was LOTS of chocolate. That's almost all that was left. 😋 It's sooo good. So. good.
Also bells 🔔😀🔔.
Thank you Songdog!
posted by Wilbefort at 4:45 PM on December 23, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm so very glad to have come home today to see a package matching the description which djinn dandy said would be arriving, and lo~ it is indeed my Secret Quonsar gift. I'll be opening it up on Sunday, which is only two more days away for me. I am so excited now!
posted by TrishaLynn at 8:36 PM on December 23, 2016

Over the previous week I was the recipient of a most delightful quonsing, due to the lovely janell. What follows is a record of the quonsing, with supporting character Mr. Nat, who got to open the quonsmas gifts due to being in the same state (I failed to write down which continent I was on for each day, so I'm not actually quite sure. Those without stable addresses cannot directly receive quonsings.)

Day 1: Opening of the outer box, via Google Hangouts
Mr. Nat, opening the outer box:
"There is a lot of tape."
"Did I mention there is a lot of tape?"

Contents of the box, according to Mr. Nat:
packing bag, empty
packing bag, filled with air
2 packages attached to each other
two more packages of regular size
one package with a very different aspect ratio
one package which is very small
a card with "quite good handwriting" and a lovely leaf

After reading the card, we decide that we should open greater than or equal to one of the gifts today.
Mr. Nat: "How about this one? it is pretty well wrapped, I'm thinking it's probably a book. It has some flexibility."
me: "Ok, open that one. How come you're being so careful?"
Mr. Nat: "I feel that it is important that I do what you would do." He proceeds to *very carefully* unwrap. He is very impressed with “some kind of high quality packing technology going on here”.

Mr. Nat then shows me the front of the book, "Terminal gravity brewing: Middle of Nowhere, center of the universe." And then he turns the pages.. "I feel like I'm reading a story to a child."
"Oh, it's blank! It's all about beer but it's blank." (Book is a lovely empty notebook which I can fill with my own thoughts, about beer or otherwise :-))

"Ok, we opened one. Are we done?"
"We could open another one."
"Should we open the tiny one?"

Mr. Nat, opening: "It's tiny, it has different wrapping paper. There is evidently a theory of wrapping where you do not expose the tape."

"Is that a hamster? it's adorable!!"

Day 2:
Mr. Nat, opening the chosen package for the day, verrrryyy slooowwwwwlllly: "I am trying to open it like you would! Obviously I wouldn't do it as well as you would do it because I am not you, I am merely a representative of you."
me: "It's ok to rip it, really."
Mr. Nat: "It wouldn't be ok if you were opening it. There must be a seam somewhere along this axis, unless you have tubular paper!"

After eventually opening, we discover it is a coloring book-- specifically the farmer's wife sampler quilt coloring book.
me: "Can you bring that coloring book with you when we meet up? I think I'm going to want it during the holidays.."

Day 3:
Mr. Nat, opening: "This one is interesting because it is not perfectly cuboid, it has some shape to it. I'm opening it now... veeerrrryyyyy carefulllllyyyyy."
It's a survival tool! with a 4 position wrench!

Day 4:
We assess the packages.
Mr. Nat: "There are two quonsmas gifts remaining, with wildly different aspect ratios. What are you doing?"
me, typing and laughing in the background: "I'm recording for posterity! Taking notes!"
Mr. Nat: "I don't understand what could possibly be funny about what I said."
Mr. Nat, opening package: "Oh my god I ripped it a little bit!"
me: "It's ok, just rip it! Free yourself!"

Mr. Nat: "I think this one is a book of some kind. Ah, Ninkasi brewing company."
me: "At least you didn't try to read this one to me."
Mr. Nat: "Once upon a time, in a brewery..."

Day 5:
The last package remains.
me: "I'm not ready."
Mr. Nat: "I don't know why you have to get ready. Are you emotionally ready yet?"
me: "no."
Mr. Nat: "I didn't think so." --proceeds anyway---
me: "The final package of unusual aspect ratio!"
Mr. Nat: "Packages of unusual aspect ratio, I don't think they exist!" --opens further-- "oh what ... is this? Is this one of your papers?"
me: "wait hold that up"
Mr. Nat: "Inside the box there are these two things. Oh it's one of your pens!"
me: "Oh my god it's the most awesome pen ever!"
Mr. Nat: "This person is really good..."
me: "I feel quite well quonsed!"

package contents:
one lovely note on a card with a leaf
two blank beer-themed books
one coloring book
one survival tool
one tiny hamster
one calligraphic pen
one blue most awesome pen
one pencil box, covered with my most recent paper (about black holes)
one very successful quonsing

Mr. Nat: concerned with aspect ratio
nat: has a habit of opening packages carefully
posted by nat at 8:45 AM on December 24, 2016 [18 favorites]

Hooray! Yesterday, when we were getting ready to fly out to family, the doorbell rang. It was the Quonsmas elf appearing - bearing gifts from Canada! Since I have the patience of a kid in a candy store, I immediately tore package open. Thank you so much for the delicate sugar cookies ( including the recipe), a genuine Canadian mug (how did you know we collect mugs from around the world?) and the blingy tree decoration! Woho!
posted by Rabarberofficer at 8:48 AM on December 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

nat, I feel like you are living in a continuum of quonsing that somehow feels very much akin to the quonsmas universe I've been inhabiting since I opened Pandora-dorian's box on December 11. I love the transcript of events and your amazing ability to delay and prolong the box-opening.
posted by limeonaire at 9:06 AM on December 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

nat! You accidentally saved my favorite part for last! I am wriggling with excitement!

(I am a notoriously terrible gift wrapper, so I tried really hard to make your packages tidy. Double-sided tape and a full complement of bookbinding tools FTW!)

Merry quonsmas! I am still waiting for mine to arrive...
posted by janell at 11:17 AM on December 24, 2016 [3 favorites]

OH MY GOODNESS! A package comes from Amazon, as frequently happens in Tel3path Towers. I am about to rip it open without a second thought, when I realize - I don't have any open orders with Amazon right now?

A closer look reveals that the package is addressed to "tel3path". HAVE I BEEN QUONSED TWICE?!?

This is more excitement than the human body can stand. I am sworn to wait until tomorrow morning to find out what is inside...
posted by tel3path at 1:10 PM on December 24, 2016 [3 favorites]

We opened our presents this afternoon and, holy crap introp!

That apple tea looks so delicious! I can't wait to sip it! And the kitties have already chewed on each other after partaking in those homemade catnip toys. Yay for more sewing pins and that adorable pin cushion chicken!

And, wow, you make your own vanilla extract?!?! That is fantastic! What a treat! Thank you so, so much! You did such a wonderful job of wrapping it and picking out lovely little gifts. I am feeling the magic of Secret Quonsar. <3 <3 <3 <3
posted by jillithd at 2:58 PM on December 24, 2016 [2 favorites]

the-incomparable Quonsee limeonaire apparently understands fake-recidivist-quonsmas entirely-too-well, since I have already been revenge-gifted twice as hard, once yesterday and then again today
because-peeking, look, lady, mak'taai'zars /lolCantonese-dropped-tuning are one of my favoritest things on the planet
posted by dorian at 3:52 PM on December 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

I mean, JUST LOOK AT THIS OCTOPUS. He's so happy with his pal Pinchy and stingray friends!
posted by limeonaire at 10:28 PM on December 24, 2016 [2 favorites]

My quonsee has recently disabled her account, but I received the loveliest, heartfelt hand-written thank you note in the mail yesterday (in addition to the confirmation email she asked julen to send a few weeks ago). If she's peeking in at this thread, I wish her well!
posted by Sweetie Darling at 5:30 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

The fantastic switcheroo is enabling my yarn and chocolate addictions! Thank you very much for the lovely presents!
posted by Stephanie Duy at 8:22 AM on December 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


I have been quonsed. I have been quonsed good and hard.

So the first thing I found, when I opened that ginormous box, was a big red Cardinals t-shirt. Sweet! Carpenter, 29. Although I don't *follow* baseball, it is just about the only ball game in the world that I can sit through. Also, baseball is not a thing here in the UK, so nobody else is gonna have this t-shirt.

And the NEXT thing I found was a tin Star Wars... lunch box? Hobby box? At any rate, it's a tin Star Wars box with a handle, and 15 little compartments inside. HOW DID YOU KNOW I LOVE BOXES FOR PUTTING THINGS INTO AND TAKING THINGS OUT OF.

And what a lot of things you DID put into this box.

In 9 of the compartments, at least one shell, often two.

In three of the compartments, a pin badge. One triangular Illuminati eye?!? One horse's head with sunrays emanating from the base of its neck? One laughing pineapple.

In five of the compartments, one or two pairs of miniature Kit Kats, labelled in Chinese. Elsewhere in the outer box is the bag they came in, which seems to indicate that the Kit Kats are green and are either green tea or mint flavor. As someone with an insatiable sweet tooth, I am always on the lookout for the next taste sensation and, well, CLEARLY you have been paying attention.

In one of the compartments, a little 4GB USB stick on a ball chain, which looks like it's supposed to be on a keyring or something. I love stuff like that!!!!

In one of the bigger compartments, a York peppermint patty. We can't get those easily in the UK, so I am delighted.

In another of the bigger compartments, a lavender My Little Pony with pink hair, a nurse's cap, and a pink cross on her person. In a small compartment nearby is a miniature pink comb, which I infer is for combing her hair.

And in the largest compartment, beside two pairs of mini green Chinese Kit Kats, are two full size Kit Kats, one normal and one Dark.

...that. Is some next-level gift giving right there.

And as if that weren't enough: elsewhere in the outer box, remember I mentioned the bag the mini green Kit Kats came in? Inside THAT bag is a bag of York Minis.

Digging further into the outer box, I find a red Moleskine sketchbook. I could carry this around, and become someone who carries a Moleskine! And draws every day! This is not too far-fetched, compared to my ambition of playing the piano every day during the coming year. I could learn to draw again!


Salux Beauty Skin Cloth! Invention prize awarded in Japan! Stimulating Invigorating Excellent for Massage. You don't have to tell me twice!

And there are eight! yes eight! Mix CDs! I am going to listen to them all, and expand my range.

A paperback! Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever. Gonna start that hopefully before going back to work in January!

And finally: a Hannukah card with a menorah and a dove holding an olive branch.

BUT THEN AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH. Yes the Amazon package IS for Quonsar! It is the Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters. A "primary source edition", which means it's reproduced from a contemporary copy. The owner's notes and scribblings are reprinted in this edition! This one is accompanied by a note from limeonaire who evidently is the quonser of the first gift. Her favourite poem in the collection is "George Gray", which indeed speaks to me too.

posted by tel3path at 10:04 AM on December 25, 2016 [8 favorites]

Yay for djinn dandy! I opened my Secret Quonsar present today to find a stark black long-sleeved T-Shirt with the word "Feminist" running down each arm. I feel like I could conquer mountains with this T-shirt on. If I were going to it, this is the shirt I'd wear to the Women's Rally in Washington DC. Thank you, again!

After all the cooking and baking and relatives-having is done, I think I'll be ready to do my nearly all-SQ outfit pose. All I'm missing so far is pants!
posted by TrishaLynn at 11:18 AM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

I hoarded my Quonsmas gifts until just a few minutes ago and they were amazing! Heyho brilliantly combined my professional interest in City Planning with my personal interests in cooking and photography, sending me an outstanding collection of spice mixtures inspired by Chicago neighborhoods! This bounty was accompanied by a detailed map (from the most excellent Windy City emporium known as The Spice House) documenting pertinent neighborhoods informing the seasonings: a treat for the tastebuds and certain to change how I make the potatoes planned for later. And it turns out that Heyho is an accomplished photographer; she sent me a portrait she made of One Prudential Plaza, from the base looking up and printed on aluminum: way cool, and already installed on my desk.

Heyho's thoughtfulness--the creative brainstorming of unusual gifts that straddle my interests--knocked me out. Thank you so much for all you did to make Quonsmas memorable!
posted by carmicha at 3:33 PM on December 25, 2016 [5 favorites]

tel3path, zomg I can also attest to the beyond-incomparable-ness of limeonaire!!! I, ungratefully, have zero energy to document everything (for now), but I can say that: THERE WERE SNAKES!!! I got to read 'George Gray' as well! there's a gorgeous mug from Japan!!! LXG 1910! and that is only the tip of the revenge-gift-iceberg sent to me! there is so much more in this impossibly-tiny-impossibly-heavy box! but, best-of-all, a book of amazing photos by none other than IRL-limeonaire!!!!!
(I promise pics and annotations eventually)
posted by dorian at 5:36 PM on December 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

Apparently we showered so much love on this thread that we broke everything? This seems reasonable. (Nah, I know it was a cert issue.)

Anyway, yayyyyyyyyyy so glad you guys love everything and now I can actually say that! I didn't actually mean to spoil the anonymity of my quonsing, tel3path, 'cause I do love when it's a delightful mystery. But I think you may have connected the dots eventually anyway, and I'm so glad you're delighted! I'd decided to do the secondary Spoon River Anthology quonsing at about this time of the morning exactly a week ago, so I think I just neglected to think about the fact that whatever name I added would actually, you know, appear on it. But yeah, I'm so so glad you're enjoying what I sent across the sea!

And dorian, you're jus' the bestest, period. I had so much fun filling that impossibly-tiny-impossibly-heavy-Pandora's-double-reverse-recidivist-revenge box.

I see the classic how to snakes video (which still makes me as happy as it did back in May) and raise you crazy snail.

I sang this aloud earlier, and I'm sending my love, all those positive Hanukkah/Saturnalia vibes, out to y'all tonight.
posted by limeonaire at 11:46 PM on December 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

Hi everyone!

There'll be new statistics tomorrow night, so now is your chance to let us know (if you haven't posted to MeTa or emailed us previously) that you got your gift!

We have a bevy of fantastic second chancers raring to go, and so we're also going to start cutting bait on people whose gifts have not arrived yet AND which do not have an excellent excuse (known international pokeyness, significant life events) and which are no longer reasonably in transit. By cutting bait, I mean of course, declaring their package lost/stolen/missing/mangled/hijacked by marmosets/stuck in that one sorting station in Iowa that is a black hole for packages and turning that person over to one of said fantastic second chancers for a gift that should arrive with reasonable alacrity, kindness, and a smidgeon of fun.
posted by julen at 11:19 PM on December 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

I can't believe I made it so late to this thread!

Ocherdraco surprised me with local-to-Alabama goodies: English-style toffee, delicious toasted pecans, and caramel popcorn, all things I LOVE and never really go out for myself for no good reason. I shared this with my housemates and family (there was a LOT of treats in the box!) and we ate it all up, and I got compliments for bringing it.

More importantly, there was a kind note in there that raised my spirits a lot on a grey and mizzling day when I was not feeling the holiday spirit. So, thank you!

Sleeping bear, glad the snowballs were a hit. I wasn't sure that you weren't in a place with snow, but I thought indoor snowballs were worth a try anyway. I went to Flying Tiger-- it's sort of like if Ikea and Daiso Japan had a baby and raised it in Denmark. Anyway, you're very welcome!
posted by blnkfrnk at 7:52 AM on December 27, 2016 [4 favorites]

Sorry to post so late, but thank you for the lovely spices and tea, whoever you are! and also that beautiful card.
posted by monologish at 8:19 AM on December 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

I opened my delightful gift from Sockermom on Christmas eve and it was so perfect, a bunch of baking supplies: one thing I specifically wanted, some things I would never have thought of wanting but will have a lot of fun using, and recipes! It's all so lovely and thoughtful. I can't wait to make the peanut butter cookies that call for twice as much peanut butter as my old inferior recipe. Thank you so much, Sockermom.
posted by katieanne at 7:42 PM on December 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

Post-Christmas secret quonsar statistics-o-rama
These statistics were brought to you by the phrases "Thank You!" and "Please Check Your Email"

420     Folks quonsaring it up.
360     Gifts have arrived! That’s 85.7% of all gifts!
067     Unique animals represented in gifts (so far)
020     Gifts have not arrived yet (MOST are reasonably in transit)
014     Gifts have no status at all (check your email)
012     Gifts have a sending status (check your email)
005     Gifts are currently marked Maybe (Tracking Says Yes) (check your email)
007     Packages who took off for side-trips to random nonsensical post offices
004     Packages that took a staycation at a postal warehouse for days and days.
002     Roosters at a Post Office
002     Second Chancers deployed earlier than usual
001     Holiday-related pet costumes
001     Gift sent by the vendor to the sender and not the quonsee.
001     Cats technically in socks
001     Gift Returned to Sender (a new low!)
001     Electrical Fire at Delivery Service
001     Ninja
0??     People are saving their packages to be opened later

We still have a couple of special statuses I haven’t enumerated above, and right now, we anticipate deploying 2-4 second chancers at the end of the week and more in the weeks to come.

We have DOZENS of unanswered emails out there (to both senders and recipients!), which is slowing down the process of assigning second chancers to folks without gifts.
posted by julen at 7:57 PM on December 27, 2016 [8 favorites]

The brilliant litleozy read about my Homestuck obsession and sent me a hilariously doctored-up "Game Bro" blank book for me to jot down ridiculous ideas for future fanfics. I can't stop laughing. Thank you so much!
posted by dywypi at 11:12 AM on December 28, 2016

After a putrid week at work and just before hitting the road on a 3+ hour trip to the in-laws, stopped by the post office to check for packages and a colourful shoebox sized box-of-mystery from "The Internet is Made of Rainbows" was waiting for me.

Threw it in the back of the car and took it with for the big unwrap. Revealed inside were smaller parcels wrapped in New York subway maps (which I pored over later).

Got all sorts of amazing party supplies that we used for Christmas dinner, some awesome cardboard glitter crowns that we wore while eschewing the tissue paper ones from the crackers, silver drinking straws that we poked into pink champagne glasses and silver and white serviettes, which took pride of place on our decorated table.

There was also a clutch of gorgeous glitter pens, which I have spirited away to be used later.

Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and adding sparkle to my week and to our Christmas celebrations :)
posted by kreestar at 12:02 AM on December 29, 2016 [6 favorites]

I am tardy in updating this thread with the results of my enquonsening. Bethnull sent me a charming and delightful package from Canada which included 1) several adorably tiny Canada-themed cookie cutters which will definitely be used to make delicious cookies, 2) three charmingly written recipes for Canada-themed desserts (Nanaimo bars, blueberry grunt ("DON'T OPEN THE LID or the demons will come out!"), and butter tarts (which I can't hear about without thinking of this song)), and 3) a sweet kitchen-themed "They see me rolling, they hatin" art print on a dictionary page, conveniently combining my love of memes, art, and kitchen stuffs.

Bethnull, thank you for adding some brightness to a tough season.
posted by athenasbanquet at 6:20 AM on December 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

I just picked up my gift from the very kind Unreasonable (and to answer your question, no it wouldn't have been creepy to place the package on my doorstep) and received a t-shirt (you got my shirt size correct, which is creepy), some absolutely amazing chocolates, including a few in lobster molds, sweet baby beets, and homemade apple sauce (which I tried and is delicious). Thank you very much Unreasonable; this was a wonderful surprise to open this morning.
posted by lunch at 12:11 PM on December 30, 2016 [3 favorites]

WAY too late to the party. But thanks to jillithd for my awesome hat and the sweet art! Thank you!!!!
posted by pierogipuppy at 4:50 PM on December 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Eeee! I got the greatest gift- I asked for local items, and my giver did not disappoint! A tea towel, embroidery, crocheted squares and a notepad- all made me feel like I'd had a holiday to Pittsburgh. It ended up being the only present I opened on Christmas Day and certainly brightened up my day!
posted by daybeforetheday at 6:50 PM on December 30, 2016 [5 favorites]

My gift was worth the wait! In fact the timing of its arrival yesterday was perfect for the inter-Xmas/New Year lull.

Thanks very much Lollusc for the polar bear tea towel, travel cup and Aussie edibles!
posted by neilb449 at 12:15 AM on December 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

Oh my gosh. My gifts are SO AMAZING. I am so, so pleased! Thank you so much, RedOrGreen!

So as I mentioned, I am really good at waiting to build anticipation. However, I also have other issues (therapy-worthy) with moving forward sometimes which means that sometimes I wait tooo long... At first I had been waiting for after Christmas, just in case I didn't get any presents (my family doesn't tend to really do them), I'd have this. Then other things came up. But one stressful period ended and another was starting and I finally, finally decided that I needed to open my Quonsmas presents. I also thought of my poor Secret Quonser, who was waiting to hear how I liked things and feeling left out. Do it for your SQ, I told myself. They deserve praise and recognition!

And so I opened the package. Everything inside was individually, beautifully, meticulously wrapped! RedOrGreen should give wrapping lessons! Right off the bat there was a gorgeous card with my name and a personal message: "It's been a tough month, and there's no telling what's ahead, but we will get through it all by caring about one another. All the best to you for the year ahead, and Quonsmas greetings from the internet!" This was already making me feel happy and totally worth it.

Then there was SCIENCE STUFF. Oh my gosh. Am I the luckiest or what? I got an astronomer for my Secret Quonser! I had listed my fandom participation as "is science a fandom?" and he certainly delivered. There were stickers of space photos and two different amazing NASA postcards (one which changes pictures to demonstrate coronal mass ejections of the sun when you tilt it from side to side!) and trading cards of solar system/mission stuff. This is the best. These will be proudly displayed in my home, or maybe on my desk at work so the other science geeks can be super jealous!

I actually said "Oh my gosh! I got a geek!!" very excitedly and happily when I opened the package and saw the science materials. I hope this is nonoffensive to you, RedOrGreen.

I had also said that I like vintagey things and hair stuff and so I got a lovely, soft, stretchy vintagey-print bandanna! It looks so versatile and pretty! I can't wait to try it out!

I said I do calligraphy and collect nib and pen things, and RedOrGreen delivered again with a book, "300 Writing Prompts"! It's a workbook with lovely creamy lined paper and all kinds of thoughtful questions and space to answer them. I wrote that I tend to collect things and not use them but I think that this and my fountain pen (previously unused for lack of a worthy partner) are meant for each other. It's so attractive and beautifully-sized, I could see myself taking it anywhere and whipping it out when I had a few moments to think. This will definitely be used, not saved!

Finally, there was an extremely cute ceramic UNICEF ornament, showing adorable stylized kids holding hands around a globe. When I mentioned my "absolute dislikes" I said that I hated "offensive ideology, hatred and small-mindedness...I believe in being kind to people." Between this and the lovely expressions of care and sympathy from the card, this made me a little misty-eyed and touched me very much. I plan on hanging it somewhere where I will see it year-round, not just on a Christmas tree, so that I can keep a reminder of the message.

I'm really sorry that I delayed so long, and I hope I have gotten across just how much your package has touched and pleased me. I just got home from a long day at work and I decided that I shouldn't wait any longer, and I am so happy with all my gifts. Thank you for your goodness and generosity in selecting them. You've made me very happy!
posted by spelunkingplato at 12:16 AM on December 31, 2016 [8 favorites]

I finally went on an archaemological-dig and found the following -

the-incomparable-limeonaire is the one who definitively broke Quonsmas and/or MetaFilter. and who then broke fake-recidivist-Quonsmas. and who then proceeded to break revenge-Quonsmas.

five!!! badges, 3 pins, eyeball-neuron-thing?, Bettie Serveert, mix-tapes-until-Sunday, SNAKES!!!, srsly-#mefi-old-skool-shoutout-plates from both limeonaire and her friend Kim, 66NOVA!, 2600mags!!!, Bach, Spoon River, mak'tai'saa, MO pencil and keychain, SNAKES!!!, UNO emoji set, (inscribed!) Korean chopsticks, badass-witch-crystal (::friendface-heart::!!!), IDEAS sticker!, shark!!!, her-own-damn-awesome-book, LXG, running out of breath here, the amazing mug, I'm sure I'm missing something, ...

also, SNAKES!!!
posted by dorian at 1:13 AM on December 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

It came! Thank you, mayonnaises! I just got your gift. Two really nice novels by a great Sci Fi author! I love Alistair Reynolds. Thank you again. REALLY looking forward to reading "Gulf of Suns!"

Funny story. You know how the parcel delivery people keep the principles of ninjitsu alive in our time, right? There's no one more stealthy than them. I've been home the last couple of days and I've seen the paperboy and the mailman, said hello to the neighbors and all that, but saw no one else. Then tonight, I went out into my back yard at 1:30AM for... star watching reasons, and there was a parcel sitting on the back porch! No footprints in the snow. Just a parcel leaning against the wall with a light coating of white on top. I'm not sure how long it was there. The UPS guy left no trace. But I'm glad I went outside!

Thanks again, mayonnaises!
posted by Kevin Street at 1:16 AM on December 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

Yay, spelunkingplato - I'm *so* happy!

> "Oh my gosh! I got a geek!!"

Ha! Yes you did... Glad you liked the gift.
posted by RedOrGreen at 6:31 AM on December 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oops - neglected to mention that pierogipuppy was my Secret Quonsar. Thanks so much!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:01 PM on December 31, 2016

Hey, my Quonsmas came! Thank you Jesse the K for that lovely ornament. I love the look of it! My year is complete!
posted by Oyéah at 4:08 PM on December 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

Neilb449, I'm so glad it finally came! I thought for sure it must have got lost in the mail.
posted by lollusc at 4:12 AM on January 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

Yay! I have been quonsed!

The thoughtful kabanos sent me some lovely things from Toronto: tasty chocolates, a cool bicycling magazine, and a poster they made!

Om nom nom nom. :) I'm cleaning up my home office today and I get to figure out where to put the poster!
posted by introp at 10:44 AM on January 1, 2017 [5 favorites]

This thanks is long overdue. Illness and holiday travel has kept me from taking the time to properly thank my Secret Quonsar. The wonderful crepesofwrath went above and beyond to pick out the most amazing items for me.

For my sweet tooth: tasty tiny gingerbread cookies (shared with family) and the most amazing dark chocolate salted caramels (these are mine).

For my geek heart: Star Trek sticky notes (hilarious) and Leia and Han calaveras stickers (so perfect and bittersweet).

For my newish home: a lovely-smelling candle (fresh citrus - my fave) and felt coasters (note there are bears, bunnies, and hedgehogs represented).

I love everything and feel so lucky to be a part of this annual tradition. Thank you again, crepesofwrath. You really brightened up a dim holiday with your thoughtfulness and generosity.
posted by MsVader at 8:52 AM on January 3, 2017 [4 favorites]

Just the Numbers: A Statistical Update
420     Folks quonsaring it up.
374     Gifts have arrived! That’s 89% of all gifts!
013     Gifts are marked as Not Yet (3.1%)
011     Participants haven’t responded to “did you get it? emails (2.6%)
006     Gifts have been sent but no news from the recipient (1%)
006     Gifts have probably arrived, but there’s no absolute confirmation (1%)
004     Folks are marked as half (some gifts arrived; some have not) (1%)
004     Gifts are in the second chancer process (1%)
002     Gifts are on the cusp of second chancing

Let’s break down the numbers!

Why are some gifts still marked “Not Yet”? It’s January!
Many of these are gifts traveling internationally. This year saw an uptick in unexpected customs requirements, postal service slowdowns, and slow-moving package traffic. There were also a couple of gifts that were sent super-late and are still reasonably in transit.

Geez, a lot of people don't respond to emails
No kidding! There's a big ball o' mystery around some gifts - in terms of both unresponsive senders and recipients. It'd be awesome if people got on that.

What's the Second Chancer situation?
They're awesome! We're rolling out a wave of reassignments (I'm getting ruthless now; if the gift has not reasonably arrived by now, reassignments are happening) this week.

Also, they're awesome.
posted by julen at 7:27 PM on January 3, 2017 [13 favorites]

Also, I don't that comment had enough use of the word awesome.

posted by julen at 7:29 PM on January 3, 2017 [6 favorites]

420 Folks quonsaring it up.

420 quonze it
posted by Rock Steady at 5:23 AM on January 4, 2017 [3 favorites]

It turns out Priority Mail to international locations can take some time. I watched a postman spill a box of parcels three times on the ice today while swearing in that way that usually precedes sobbing, so it is somewhat understandable.

Sympathies to postal workers aside, I GOT A QUONSMAS GIFT and I am so happy!! A huge, enormous, wonderful Kansas City mug with finger-pleasing raised design and some extremely fine coffee and drinking chocolate. I am moving next week, but planning on keeping these out until the last minute for comfort and energy during packing.

Thank you secret quonsar <3 !!
posted by congen at 4:49 PM on January 4, 2017 [2 favorites]

Oh and I just realised that the very nice card deconstructs into a lovely Christmas ornament! Hooray!
posted by congen at 4:52 PM on January 4, 2017

OK, tel3path, dorian, if you liked the book of poems I sent (and specifically the poem I recommended), y'all gotta listen to the MeFi podcast, at about the 1 hour, 7 minute mark. This is why. 80 Cats in a Dog Suit has destroyed me with the synchronicity of her message to the void.
posted by limeonaire at 5:25 PM on January 4, 2017 [1 favorite]

Starting 2017 with a Quonsmas celebration!! Thank you to The Latin Mouse!! A much anticipated package arrived from the UK yesterday! Cadbury's chocolates - OMG how did you know my not-so-secret love??? And then, a wonderful assortment of geocaching goodies. My sister is an avid geocacher so now I have motivation to follow her around again - on her instructions I scavenged through a city park in Melbourne Australia to send a travel bug on its way around the world! I promise you that the travel bug will find its way to a cache very soon and continue its voyage.
posted by ZenMajek at 8:24 AM on January 5, 2017 [1 favorite]

Thank you to my secret quonsar who sent me a bunch of stickers!
posted by quercus23 at 10:25 AM on January 5, 2017 [2 favorites]

Thanks, Ms. Vader! I'm a geologist, and the quonsar gift that arrived today is appropriately volcano-themed! From the red and orange tissue to the strata of cookies, everything in this box was well though out. Some delicious (and sometimes spicy!) home made cookies, volcano salt, a volcanology lego set (how did I not know this existed?! Or did I know and forget?) and a piece of Hawaii/Volcano/Scorpio themed art (matching my zodiac sign).

This package is an explosive start to the year, I must say! Thank you!
posted by Secretariat at 4:00 PM on January 5, 2017 [5 favorites]

Secretariat, I'm so glad that everything finally made its way safely to you. This was the craziest and most frustrating Quonsmas to date. Everything seemed to go wrong. It's all worth it though, now that you're finally able to enjoy it!

I was so excited after reading your guidance, as I'm also a huge fan of volcanoes. It was a lot of fun picking out just the right gifts. And I'm glad even the packaging was enjoyed. :)

Happy Quonsmas (finally)!
posted by MsVader at 5:08 PM on January 5, 2017 [2 favorites]

Thanks MsMolly for a wonderful gift. Sorry about all the trouble with Australian customs. I loved the medal from the space centre that contained metal that had been to the moon on an Apollo mission.

I hope you all have a wonderful new year.
posted by daffodil at 1:33 PM on January 6, 2017 [2 favorites]

I was travelling during the holidays and just got back to work yesterday. And what should appear on my desk but a package from Amazon, wrapped by their elves in a nice reusable bag with a lovely note from Naamah! Apparently the grinches at Customs had put the kibosh on the first gift, but the second arrived perfectly timed to my return. It's a copy of The Mushroom Hunters, which looks like a really intriguing tale, and just might inspire me to make a few more mushroom dishes. The note obliquely promises something else to come in the spring... further intrigue!

Thanks so much! Merry Quonsmas! Happy New Year!
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 8:13 AM on January 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

I was also travelling during the holidays and was just able to pick up my quonsar package this morning, due to very limited apartment complex hours. Hapax_legomenon really made my month though...

A lovely star ornament made out of a map (it looks homemade. It is awesome), a beautiful scarf that I will probably wear tomorrow in shades of blue and green, and a really neat organic chocolate bar that I intend to savor in small pieces.

So happy. Happy New Year.
posted by eleanna at 8:52 AM on January 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

FINALLY picked up my package this morning. It arrived at my work yesterday, after an overly long journey from Canada to the UK (or, more likely, a very quick journey followed by a month of just sitting in customs). Thanks chococat!

I got two books by Davids: David Sedaris and David Rakoff. I wasn't yet familiar with the latter, so I'm looking forward to that. And even though I'm a big fan of Sedaris, I didn't yet own a copy of When You Are Engulfed in Flames so that was perfect.

But my favourite part of the gift was probably the ode to Toronto transit, with two subway buttons (pins) and postcards of subway stations. You see, I'm actually very familiar with Toronto's transport system. I lived there for seven years before moving to the UK, and I even wrote for Spacing magazine. So, I actually already have the buttons - I own the full set! Spadina is on my violin case!! - but I don't mind duplicates that I can use without being afraid of losing them. I did not yet have the postcards, and they're about to go up on the wall at work, with the pins.
posted by easternblot at 2:24 AM on January 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

Yay easternblot!
I was SO disappointed when I was told it might be lost. Really happy that you finally got it.
I can't believe what a weird coincidence it is that you have the buttons and even wrote for Spacing magazine! The postcards are vintage and you can't buy them anywhere (I have an in at the TTC), so I'm happy that at least that's new for you.
Anyway, enjoy the books!
posted by chococat at 4:46 AM on January 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

Just wanted to check in very late in the game; I did not get quonsed in the first round (effing marmosets), but the second chancers came through! Yesterday I got my Enterprise flying disc and the 3000--three! thousand!--piece Star Trek puzzle that looks to cover a significant portion of the Alpha Quadrant when finished. I didn't get an MeFi handle, and won't reveal the secret ID of the sender, but thank you so much for your generosity and restoration of my faith in quonsmas. You are... and always shall be... my friend.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:37 AM on January 13, 2017 [9 favorites]

Any final (hopefully final, not almost-final!) updates?
posted by easily confused at 5:28 AM on January 14, 2017

So due to a serious of delays (nothing to do with my secret quonsar let me be clear) including a move interstate in Australia organised in less then 10 days my present finally reached me. Thankyou Mcmikenamara! I love the christmas decoration and the Chicago tea towel couldn't be more my thing :-D Now off to research the history of the Chicago flag you mentioned in your lovely card!
posted by Lesium at 11:12 PM on January 15, 2017 [2 favorites]

I came home today to find a very kick-ass present from monocultured, a limited edition anti-racist pin from Sweden!
Thanks so much, it's a great capstone on present season!
posted by signal at 4:27 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]

Sigh. I guess Quonsmas is winding down... :(
posted by RedOrGreen at 9:12 PM on January 23, 2017

Only 281 days (plus or minus) until 2017 Quonsar signups are open!
posted by sparklemotion at 7:30 AM on January 24, 2017 [9 favorites]

Hey! Some of us are still in 2016 SQ limbo!
posted by janell at 10:06 AM on January 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

Out of limbo at last!
The magical headnsouth very kindly second-chanced me and I got a t-shirt that says Mountains Are My Therapy and an actual rock from the Appalachian Trail, both very appropriate since I come from a tiny mountain town along the Pacific Crest Trail!
Oh, and also a Powerpuff Girls puzzle because obviously everyone should have one. Girl power!
posted by exceptinsects at 10:41 AM on January 24, 2017 [4 favorites]

AARGH. I thought for sure I'd posted my thank you -- and I feel even worse to know my quonsarer was the mighty julen, who organized the whole shebang. (In my defense: Trumpocalypse.) Please forgive me!

I received a gorgeous holiday ornament/window decoration handmade by julen in shades of yellow and green -- jagged shards of glass in a lovely geometric pattern. And ANOTHER handmade gift that I will copy and share for all my cat-loving friends: A series of paper-cut kitty cats in various shades, all with unique tails and hand-drawn faces. Their heads fold over a length of yarn so they hang very cutely in a row -- and julen kindly supplied the yarn as well, so I had a cute holiday banner across the top of my picture rail.

Both of these gifts were thoughtful and useful and delightful, and I have both of them still hanging up. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
posted by vickyverky at 2:25 PM on January 30, 2017 [3 favorites]

I really want to thank ApathyGirl again for the beautiful scarf, because I wore it to the Women's March for extra queerness-- it matched my rainbow pussy hat-- and got so many compliments!
posted by thetortoise at 3:02 PM on January 30, 2017 [4 favorites]

Well, well, well - a box showed up in the mail today with a label that says "At long last..." - so it looks like I've been second-chanced! Yay!

(And according to the Quonsczars, tracking shows that my original Quonsmas present might still be trying to make its way to me - if it makes it, that would be quite the plot twist. How long does a MetaTalk thread stay open anyway?)
posted by RedOrGreen at 5:15 PM on January 30, 2017 [3 favorites]

I sent my package before the December 2nd deadline. It has not been acknowledged. I can probably go talk to the cute guys at the mailbox place and get proof, but I am not sure they keep track of that kind of thing.

I am also reasonably concerned about my intended recipient. Are you OK?

I am fairly sure that the scarf I added to include something handmade probably wasn't that great, but there were a few things in there anyone would want, I think? As far as I can tell recipient is AWOL rather than wondering where their package is.

Anyway I sent a package (and received a lovely one ~sips cherry tea~) and I am not really sure what to do now?
posted by Duffington at 12:12 PM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]


Thanks, secret quonsar powers in charge!
posted by Duffington at 12:45 PM on January 31, 2017 [1 favorite]

Well, it's February, and I have a late-breaking Quonsmas miracle to report: sometimes, good things do come to those who wait!

My anonymous original quonser's gift (in two parts?) simply wandered off into thin air - with tracking, even! - and after waiting and waiting, the marmosets dipped into the second chance pool for me. (Which is a little bit ironic, because I signed up as a second chancer again this year.)

So I got a wonderful package with an "At long last ..." label a couple of days ago, and after a couple of long and frustrating days, we opened it up last night. And wow! Jessypie outdid herself! A box full of wonderful treats from Chicago, including a dark chocolate salt pecan "turtle", candied orange peel, Mexican hot chocolate caramels, passionfruit curd ... yum, yum, yum!

And along with that, a box of Co-op Sauce called "Unicorn Tears" - "5 mystical fl. oz" of hot sauce made from Serrano, Habanero, and Ghost Pepper. Just writing it out is making my tongue tingle!

But no, we're not done yet. Add on a beautiful Great Lakes print card, an a-maze-ing State maze postcard (enter at East St. Louis, trace a route through Springfield, Urbana-Champaign, Peoria, all the way to Chicago), and a pencil with a "This machine kills fascists" print, which apparently has a Jessamyn connection.

Jessypie, thank you! What a wonderful Quonsmas - worth the wait.


My original Quonsmas gift (or at least, part of it) came back to life! After being lost in limbo, suddenly an anonymous package showed up via DHL, with one label stuck on top of another label and what looks like an origin in Germany. It's very confusing, and there's no note or explanation (maybe that was in the other part of my quonser's gift?) but it looks like my totally anonymous quonser subscribed to a Kickstarter by Antsy Labs to create a Fidget Cube.

So now I have a Fidget Cube with little nubbins to click, flip, glide, roll, slide, and generally fidget with to my heart's content. They promise impressive results for people with desperate situations - just look at the deeply moving ad. :) And it's not even available for sale to the public yet. Anon quonser, thank you! It's a beautiful little thing, and I will lay it out as bait near my desk to see what happens...

So that's my Quonsmas miracle report. It's February - this thread opened on November 15th - but I've been double-quonsed. As a second-chancer myself, I am deeply, deeply appreciative. Thank you quonsers, thank you Quonsczars for arranging the whole thing, thank you marmosets for the drawing of the lots, and merry Quonsmas one and all.
posted by RedOrGreen at 12:52 PM on February 2, 2017 [7 favorites]

posted by janell at 3:53 PM on February 10, 2017

This is ridiculously late, so I apologise profoundly to my quonsar. Events, events.

I too was double-quonsed -- in fact, double-Dutched by one SQ -- with one parcel sent from the Netherlands with a fun guitar-shaped cutting board and a foam puzzle, and another in its wake from the US, stuffed with Dutch delicacies: liquorice, chocolate, biscuits, hagelslag, stroopwaffels. Thank you so much: you saved me a trip to the HEMA on my next visit back.
posted by holgate at 7:26 PM on February 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

So my original SQ parcel is still doing whatever it is doing... BUT BUT BUT I did get to learn what was in it! And got a photo of most of the contents pre-packing! It was quite a trove and totally worth waiting for (so I hope it still shows up).
It was, in my SQ's words, "the essence of South Africa in a box": Justin Bonello's new local cookbook - Road Tripping ... and an "assortment of local delicacies: kudu biltong, spices, Mrs Ball's chutney, Bos rooibos iced tea, iced zoo biscuits, Zambuk - the miracle ointment, and to fill the gaps, Chappies bubblegum, Wilsons toffees".

I don't know my SQ's username to thank her officially, just her real name, but she knocked it out of the park in matching a gift to a recipient! The satisfaction of a great present mostly even counteracts the fact that the parcel itself is wayward or doomed.

[I also got a sweet bonus fancy salt parcel from my SQ today. We've been having dueling embarrassment this week since my thoughtless little sick day restlessness outburst a few days ago.]
posted by janell at 6:18 PM on February 16, 2017 [3 favorites]

Oh my gosh, jeoc, thank you SO MUCH for my lovely second-chance quonsmas delights! I couldn't be more pleased with the beautiful cupcake wrappers, coffee-scented jar candle, gorgeous earrings, and origami boxes!

Now to figure out this mysterious, interesting card. It appears to be an endless calendar...
posted by woodvine at 6:16 AM on February 22, 2017

Aaaaand now the second chance has arrived. Another fantastic present from another anonymous Mefite and fellow from-scratch baker, with a bee theme: localish honey, a bee-derived-products cookbook, a quirky cute tear-and-share cake pan with bee-related decorative topography, some bee cake decorations, hand-picked recipes, and a charming letter explaining all the choices. (The nosy Pipsqueak was not in the package).

Thank you, second chancer!
posted by janell at 7:35 PM on February 25, 2017 [3 favorites]

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