I, for one, would like to welcome our new members! April 2004 April 1, 2004 4:56 PM   Subscribe

I, for one, would like to welcome our new members! Thanks, Matt!
posted by MzB to MetaFilter-Related at 4:56 PM (175 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

I just hope 17376 is not representative (web link on his page is NSFW).
posted by MzB at 4:59 PM on April 1, 2004


Ahoy! It's been a long time coming. Those of you who frequent the irc channel should be familiar with me. I solemnly swear to limit myself to superfluous bush bashing FPP's.
posted by Evstar at 5:05 PM on April 1, 2004


Yowza!
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 5:06 PM on April 1, 2004

Due to the bursting size of the community, and its use of resources, new user signups are limited to 20 people per day. Below you'll find either a link to sign up, or a message saying all new signups are taken for the day. Each day at 12:00 Noon, Pacific time, 20 new spots will be opened. It's a way of slowly allowing new users entry into the site, while still being able to manage the crowds.
Yay!
posted by dg at 5:08 PM on April 1, 2004


cool!!!! thanks matt!!!
posted by amberglow at 5:12 PM on April 1, 2004


Oh boy. Oh, boy!
posted by interrobang at 5:15 PM on April 1, 2004


Fresh meat!

*goes off to sharpen his tongue and rent some second-hand bile*



Joke. Welcome to the 'new' folks. Do us grouchy jaded old bastards proud, y'hear?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:15 PM on April 1, 2004


At last! Welcome, you insurgent mobs, you upstart sprats, you merry mugwumps! For god's sake, rouse us from our surly slumber!
posted by languagehat at 5:20 PM on April 1, 2004


woot! now us 14kers can act like the old folks again.

askmetafilter?! we didn't have ask.metafilter in my day! we had to google our answers ourselves twice! and uphill both ways!
posted by Stynxno at 5:21 PM on April 1, 2004


what Stynxno said! (it seems like a long time ago now that we were the newbies, tho)

this is really so excellent but if it's an april fool's joke, i'll...i'll...i don't know what i'll do, but it'll involve quonsar and an elephant and you, matt ; >
posted by amberglow at 5:22 PM on April 1, 2004


Good news.......it was getting stale in here.
posted by SpaceCadet at 5:25 PM on April 1, 2004


oh, new people--you can email me or any of the people here if you have any questions or anything. : >
posted by amberglow at 5:33 PM on April 1, 2004


Discounted bile for sale here, Strav. Slightly used but almost mint condition....

Welcome to the nizzoobs.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:33 PM on April 1, 2004


As one of the new people in question, I would like to thank Matt for reopening the membership. It was an unexpected delight on an otherwise cruddy day (once I was actually able to sign in, that is; before that I was just pissed about getting suckered by what looked like the meanest april fool's prank ever).

Also, thanks to all the old people who have provided me with years of excellent reading material and all-around entertainment. Hugs for all!
posted by hoboynow at 6:01 PM on April 1, 2004


Mmmm, mint bile.

And welcome to all the new people of course!
posted by fvw at 6:30 PM on April 1, 2004


Welcome, cherries! We'll try to go gentle the first time we flame you.
posted by orange swan at 6:31 PM on April 1, 2004


Flaming cherries. Sounds very dessert like to me. Yummy.
posted by Salmonberry at 6:36 PM on April 1, 2004


I hope some of the new people have a disturbingly personal obsession with me but I fear it's unlikely.
posted by The God Complex at 7:04 PM on April 1, 2004


Welcome all new members, and alternate accounts of current members! And joke accounts!
posted by Hildago at 7:10 PM on April 1, 2004


well, maybe Mel Gibson will join, TGC
posted by amberglow at 7:10 PM on April 1, 2004


well, maybe Mel Gibson will join, TGC

Haha!
posted by The God Complex at 7:24 PM on April 1, 2004


I hope and pray that Marcus will get in. MetaFilter needs intelligent swedes. ;)
posted by soundofsuburbia at 7:25 PM on April 1, 2004


Yay new members! Woot!
posted by tittergrrl at 7:30 PM on April 1, 2004


*shakes cane at young'ins*
*mumbles incoherently*
*soils self*
*falls asleep*
*drools*
posted by ColdChef at 7:37 PM on April 1, 2004


What an especially nice way to cap off the day!

Especially if Gmail is a hoax...

Welcome new ones!
posted by contessa at 7:53 PM on April 1, 2004


click click click
posted by poopy at 8:00 PM on April 1, 2004


Aww, how cute.
posted by kickingtheground at 8:04 PM on April 1, 2004


Welcome. I will be nice to you. Can't promise most of the rest will be.
posted by konolia at 8:26 PM on April 1, 2004


*fluffs pillows*
*fills candy dish*
*waits*



*eats candy*
... what?
posted by whatnot at 8:37 PM on April 1, 2004


Shit, here comes the Right Wing.
posted by Stan Chin at 8:38 PM on April 1, 2004


Soyez bienvenus, les petits, ici dans mon antre!

Ici, sera et restera un monde où les singes sont maîtres et modèles.  Ici, on ne parlera et montrera que des choses ayant un lien avec nos cousins primates.

Huh? Oops, sorry, wrong intro.

Welcome, pseudo-newbies! Just don't pretend you're not as long in the tooth, from all that heavy lurking, as the rest of us! :)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:54 PM on April 1, 2004


oh, we do need more foreigners (you reminded me, Miguel)...spread the word : >
posted by amberglow at 9:00 PM on April 1, 2004


Yes.... this is good. But I would just like to mention that from a global point of view, a different time would probably be helpful.

Around 9 or 10 pm PST, for example, would be early morning in Europe and Africa, and afternoon in Asia and Australia. (World clock.)
posted by taz at 9:09 PM on April 1, 2004


oops - jinx, amberglow!
posted by taz at 9:14 PM on April 1, 2004


More foreigners? But we have enough Americans already!

:)
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 9:18 PM on April 1, 2004


The newbies are ruining MetaFilter.
posted by Slagman at 9:26 PM on April 1, 2004


I am sick and tired of all these new people flooding the front page with their Left-leaning, groupthinking, collectivist, NewsFilter tripe.
posted by trharlan at 9:35 PM on April 1, 2004


Virgins! For me? Oh....Matt....you're the sweetest thing! How did you ever know that's what I wanted? And look...they're just the perfect size and fit....you ol' rascal.

Well, welcome aboard young'un...you just come over and sit next to your Auntie Dejah and lemme tell you what it was like back in my day...why, once, I was a newcomer too...I know, it's hard to believe, but it's true. But now, why...we're just one big ol' dysfunctional family. Let me introduce you to a few people:

Old Uncle Quonsar is our resident curmudgeon. It's what he does. Don't be alarmed. He doesn't *usually* mean it when he pokes you with the stick.

Konolia, why...she's our resident Christian. And a darned polite one too. Not once has she damned the rest of us heathens to the eternal flames of pagan hellfire. (Well, maybe one or two of the godless heathens...but a girl has to stay in practice...)

AmberGlow...what's not to love about Amberglow? Just a big ol' sweety, that boy. Just as nice as the day is long. Bless his little pointy head...we just hope he doesn't snap.

ColdChef drools and mutters swedish obscenities in his sleep. But on those rare occasions when he's awake enough to join us...he's one of the wittiest of the old-timers. Also, he lives in one of the coolest cities in the world, which makes him high on the list of people you want to visit in the real world. Keep that in mind before you kick his cane...

Jonmc prides himself on being ornery and contrary. And a damned fine job he does of it. He's been around the old MeFi since she was steam powered. That boy has some staying power.

MiguelCardoso is a famous writer, drinker and woo-er of women. (Well, why else would he have such an amazing wife?) In the past, he was quite prolific in his posting, but has of late, been rather subdued. We suspect foul play and have sent investigators to assure that he hasn't been sold to the gypsies and is trying to give us his location in code.

StupidSexyFlanders may have the best user name of all time.

Salmonberry makes me want raspberry flavored ice every time I read his name. It's actually a little disturbing... On the upside, he'll send you a postcard if you ask him nicely.

SpecialK420 is not me. People get us confused. I don't know how...we look nothing alike. (Truth be told, I'm the cute one.)

And last on the list for now, but certainly first in everyone's heart:
MadameJuJuJive, who has been noticeably absent of late, but who is the reigning and undisputed Goddess of MetaFilter.

And of course, there's little ol' me...I'm just a shy, unassuming type who would never dream of putting herself forward or calling attention to herself. I'm almost invisible, I'm so reticent. "That Dejah420," people say "I sure do wish she'd speak her mind sometimes." But you know, I do so hate to be forward...
posted by dejah420 at 9:37 PM on April 1, 2004


I already hate you all.
posted by Cyrano at 9:39 PM on April 1, 2004


*notices he's not on dejah's list of metarati*

*cries*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:47 PM on April 1, 2004


dejah420, the delightful Salmonberry is not quite as masculine as you have made her out to be and she will no doubt be along to defend her femininity in short order.

Also, what Cyrano said.
posted by dg at 9:49 PM on April 1, 2004


*notices he's not on dejah's list of metarati*

Well, angel boy...it does seem fair to leave some of the wonders uncharted...in the "there be dragons" sort of way. ;)

And dg...I stand corrected...and I shall take my chastisement like a good girl.
posted by dejah420 at 10:02 PM on April 1, 2004


*consoles the wonderchicken whilst casting his own glares at the dejah-list*
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:08 PM on April 1, 2004


I'm the guy at the circle jerk who's off in the corner practicing self-reliance.
posted by Hildago at 10:17 PM on April 1, 2004


I just hope 17376 is not representative (web link on his page is NSFW).

Fastest.Ban.Ever.

and yeah, bienvenidos, newbies. Bring some armor.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:20 PM on April 1, 2004


Whew. I thought Salmonberry was unmale as well, but I didn't want to look sillier than usual if I was wrong.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:20 PM on April 1, 2004


dejah420, can we watch you get your chastisement?
posted by dg at 10:24 PM on April 1, 2004


I like this plan, although as pointed out international users won't have much of a chance.
posted by lucien at 10:29 PM on April 1, 2004


Look, I'm just not into the user on user action. Take your chastisement fetishes elsewhere.

These mixups are a natural mistake. For the longest time, I thought Stav was in fact a retired sideshow freak hiding out in Korea, then I saw a picture of him and realised his username wasn't representative of his physical being.

And that was a bit of a letdown.
posted by Salmonberry at 10:35 PM on April 1, 2004


MiguelCardoso is a famous writer, drinker and woo-er of women

So you noticed? You're not supposed to notice, dejah. It's meant to be a seamless, "Who, me?" process, only registered when it's far too late. Damn me and my lessening skills! I must try harder. Please don't activate your invulnerable-to-furriners defenses just yet! Give me time, woman! :)

*whistles in the wind, feeling gormless, yet one more mortal knife-wound in the Latin Lovers myth*
posted by MiguelCardoso at 10:44 PM on April 1, 2004


*gives Miguel a gorm*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:57 PM on April 1, 2004


Welcome, kids. Post frequently; I need the company.
posted by dhartung at 11:05 PM on April 1, 2004


At long last. I always knew that someday a real rain would come and wash all the scum off the streets.

Welcome!
posted by Ljubljana at 11:14 PM on April 1, 2004


*consoles the wonderchicken whilst casting his own glares at the dejah-list* posted by mr_crash_davis

Oh but Crash, I'm but a simple southern peasant girl...how could I ever aspire to describe one such as yourself? The words rasp in my throat and I tremble at my own audacity...

Take your chastisement fetishes elsewhere. - Salmonberry

Oh...you're no fun anywmore.

*crickets*

I'll just get my coat then, shall I? ;)
posted by dejah420 at 8:36 AM on April 2, 2004


Here fish...

Come on in new fishes, we got all kinds of lovin' for you. Fish fishfish...
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:46 AM on April 2, 2004


I, for one, welcome our new member fresh-fish overlords.
posted by pizzasub at 8:48 AM on April 2, 2004


And soon, the 17k+ ghetto will become the new hip neighborhood, and all the old occasionally fervent posting farts will make jokes about how things used to be better when this community was gated.

Be smart, you sexy fish-kids, and fuck some shit up in here. A little.

My friends, a toast! Welcome to Fantasy Island!
posted by chicobangs at 9:18 AM on April 2, 2004


hey johnny boy are you going to join ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:33 AM on April 2, 2004


"They invented a kind of glass which let flies through. The fly would come, push a little with his head and pop, he was on the other side. Enormous happiness on the part of the fly.

All this was ruined by a Hungarian scientist when he discovered that the fly could enter, but not get out. So they immediately invented a fly trap with a sugar cube inside and many flies perished miserably."
-Julio Cortazar

Welcome to the Hotel California of the internet! You can check out any time you want. But you can never leave.

(PS. You can trust me. I'm not like the others).
posted by MidasMulligan at 10:27 AM on April 2, 2004


...we just hope he doesn't snap.
Don't worry--i've been cranky lately, but just fixed what was crankifying me (thank god!). : >

(and i'm all excited--a tranfusion of new blood! new points of view! new MeTa posts not about the same 4 people!)
posted by amberglow at 10:27 AM on April 2, 2004


welcome new members.

(rule #24. never mess with salmonberry.)

"After profound study and the most minute discussion, one may, in recapitulation, expound a matter with brevity"

-Mencius
posted by clavdivs at 11:01 AM on April 2, 2004


To be brutally honest, Stavros, I don't think your crotchey old man routine would have the same oomph if they thought it was some sort of act. I think a great service was done to you yesterday: just think how afraid the first little newbie punk is going to be when you force him to tow the lie or be towed at the end of the line (keelhaul style).
posted by The God Complex at 11:56 AM on April 2, 2004


err, "crotchety." he might be "crotchey," but I wouldn't--and hopefully never will--know.
posted by The God Complex at 12:09 PM on April 2, 2004


Thanks to Matt for putting an end to my time in the desert.

And thanks to all of you for making me want to get the sand out of my eyes.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:11 PM on April 2, 2004


Howdy.
posted by sciurus at 12:18 PM on April 2, 2004


Hello, I'm new, but I've been reading for so long, I feel as if I've been stalking you all for years.
posted by Capn at 12:19 PM on April 2, 2004


Thanks everybody, it's great to finally be here. Seems like it's been a year or more since I started hitting that New User link every morning. An end to the agony of thinking up the perfect response but being unable to post it!
posted by Lazlo at 12:24 PM on April 2, 2004



posted by hama7 at 12:24 PM on April 2, 2004


how could you forget to introduce stan chin, languagehat, or clavdivs? or thomcatspike... or taz...

(so many great people! and welcome all :)
posted by ifjuly at 12:25 PM on April 2, 2004


Metafilter: stalking you all for years.
posted by wildblueyonder at 12:26 PM on April 2, 2004


> I just hope 17376 is not representative

Lordy
That nick is too close for comfort

OOoh look - someone left out candy...
posted by isol at 12:30 PM on April 2, 2004


After lurking for ages, I'm finally in! Thanks Matt (my first post and I'm already on a first-name basis;-) and all the other MeFiers (I know many of you more than you think!)
posted by invisible ink at 12:30 PM on April 2, 2004


Hullo, some of you may be acquainted with me from #mefi. Look forward to posts about Bush, Iraq, I/P, Kerry, Neocons, and this guy across the street I don't like. Guess I'm not MeFi's savior, being white, male, and American, but I have spent about half my life abroad, am in the US again, and speak another language with a high degree of fluency (German, ja, not so diverse again). Also, my politics are liberal. Damn, I'm glad this was by lot and not subject to the quality of applications.

Also, I feel, like the Capn above, that I have been stalking you regular posters for years through my lurking.
posted by Gnatcho at 12:32 PM on April 2, 2004


BTW, I was kidding about the post topics.
posted by Gnatcho at 12:33 PM on April 2, 2004


Metafilter: stalking you all for years.

Your first post ever is a tagline... I think you'll fit in well.

I, for one, welcome our newbie tagline-creating, overlord-comment-creating, pancake-referencing, pony-mentioning overlords.
posted by The God Complex at 12:35 PM on April 2, 2004


I also agree with the capn. Been reading for years, and now I finally have the chance to dive in... or, um, dip my toes gently in the wading pool keeping an eye out for sharks.

Thanks, mathowie, we'll try to keep the growing pains to a minimum, and hope you all will welcome us gently into the blue.

(on preview: always wanted to say 'on preview')
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 12:36 PM on April 2, 2004


As this seems to have become a 'new users introduce themselves' thread, I thought I should say hi. I'm not exactly a new user. Though I thought I was. Much to my shame.
posted by infidelpants at 12:40 PM on April 2, 2004


this is great...! welcome to the new members and monkeys.
posted by t r a c y at 12:44 PM on April 2, 2004


Is this where I get in line to give my obeisance?

It's not clearly marked on this map that came with the Newbie Kit.

Regardless, thanks to Matt for opening up the doors and thanks to everyone else in advance for not tripping us as we walk through them.
posted by papercake at 12:47 PM on April 2, 2004


So this is the party?

Where's the punch bowl?
posted by drpartypoopercrankypantsesquire at 12:52 PM on April 2, 2004


Hi everyone!
posted by pieoverdone at 1:06 PM on April 2, 2004


Ahhhh...Finally! Getting a signup has been a long time coming for me. I started reading Metafilter just before signups last closed, but put off getting a login so that I could lurk for a while and get a feel for the community. Of course I then decided I wanted a login less than a week after signups were closed. In the approximately year and a half I've been addicted, I feel almost like a stalker because I know so much about you all, but you don't know anything about me. I hope this will be the start of a long and intellectually fruitful relationship.
posted by TungstenChef at 1:21 PM on April 2, 2004


This seems to refute everyone that said I'd never amount to anything. Well look at me now, posting on Metafilter and everything.
posted by Keith Talent at 1:24 PM on April 2, 2004


I can't believe I can comment. Wow.

Okay, enough awe, but I was really surprised at what seemed like a spur of the moment opening. Thanks, Matt, and it's great to finally be able to respond to some of the posts here in person instead of ranting about it at the nearest available person/inanimate object.

Also, an obligatory MonkeyFilter shoutout -- look at me! *waves arms, blows kisses*
posted by tracicle at 1:24 PM on April 2, 2004


OhmygodOhmygodOhmygod!!

*deep breath* (okay pete, find your center)

. . . squeak!

dammit! dammit!
posted by petebest at 1:33 PM on April 2, 2004


Good stuff. I can't even remember how I stumbled across MeFi about a year ago. Now that I can chime in, I'm a little frightened to think that I might actually spend more time here.
posted by shinynewnick at 1:38 PM on April 2, 2004


Now if only I could get my Gmail account, today would be the best dorkiest day ever. What up 17k+ posse!
posted by garethspor at 1:45 PM on April 2, 2004


Is it just me, or does it smell funny in here?
posted by Quinbus Flestrin at 1:58 PM on April 2, 2004


But...but...but...

What about the submitting an essay to get in?
What about the MeFi cabal grading each essay?
What about the shadowy figures in dark robes meeting to determine who lives and who dies?
For the love of God, what about the star chamber!?!?!

This is the worst secret society with which I've ever been associated!

Can we at least sacrifice a few of the newcomers to Ba'al?
posted by filmgoerjuan at 1:58 PM on April 2, 2004


As a long-time stalker, it feels good to join the stalked.
Thanks for the Pony, Matt!
*returns to imitating Snoopy's happy-dance*
posted by Zetetics at 1:59 PM on April 2, 2004


I don't know, this guy looks a little suspicious.
posted by Johnny Assay at 2:05 PM on April 2, 2004


You guys aren't all going to be this cute and wide-eyed forever are you? Because I'm getting diabetes here.
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:08 PM on April 2, 2004


> As a long-time stalker,

*glee!*
I am only a few hours old and already I've memed
posted by Capn at 2:11 PM on April 2, 2004


Huh? What's all this now? What did I sign up for this time?

(smiles)
posted by sleslie at 2:26 PM on April 2, 2004


hello everybody ! nice to see you all !
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:33 PM on April 2, 2004


You guys aren't all going to be this cute and wide-eyed forever are you?

Oh, sure. We're all cute and cuddly when you first bring us home but before you know it we'll be pissing in the pool and crapping in the threads.
posted by Zetetics at 2:47 PM on April 2, 2004


Now all of you! Out! Out out out out!

Us oldies gots poker chips and cigars and dancing girls and big band records that ain't getting any less stale, you know.
posted by chicobangs at 2:50 PM on April 2, 2004


I just want to say thank you to all my mefi forefathers/mothers in blazing such a glorious path and for allowing me to finally come in to cahoots with all of you.
posted by Buck Eschaton at 2:50 PM on April 2, 2004


You guys aren't all going to be this cute and wide-eyed forever are you? Because I'm getting diabetes here.

Wait until you feed us after midnight.
posted by papercake at 2:52 PM on April 2, 2004


welcome! sit! eat! relax! wow us! ; >
(aw--i was gonna say that, papercake-- and you're reminding me of when my 14k crowd got in--and an "ook, ook" to tracicle)
posted by amberglow at 2:54 PM on April 2, 2004


I hope this will be the start of a long and intellectually fruitful relationship.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Either you haven't been reading MeFi, or you have a delightfully devious and subtle sense of humor.

Damn good to have fresh voices here (in a yippee-there's-blood-in-the-water sort of way).
posted by MidasMulligan at 3:11 PM on April 2, 2004


Can I pretend to be new again?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 3:21 PM on April 2, 2004


Yes, welcome! Sit, but over there next to the kitchen, and eat, but only after we've eaten!

I mean, there has to be some form of hazing. Right?
posted by Salmonberry at 3:23 PM on April 2, 2004


Yay, every one of the new guys has a better username than me! *self-loathing!*
posted by furiousthought at 3:27 PM on April 2, 2004


furiousthought is a very evocative username, furiousthought. now stop flagellating yourself with those furiousthoughts.

although gesamtkunstwerk is pretty cool, too.
posted by stonerose at 3:41 PM on April 2, 2004


BTW, there will be at least a couple of noobs at the Toronto MeFi meetup tomorrow - any suggestions as far as hazing goes? Perhaps it would be appropriate to haze all the newbies by proxy, and force the few to suffer for the sins of the many?
posted by stonerose at 3:50 PM on April 2, 2004


make them wear the mefi-colored toques? ; >
posted by amberglow at 4:10 PM on April 2, 2004


oh, and post the pics for us to look and laugh at
posted by amberglow at 4:10 PM on April 2, 2004


I hope and pray that Marcus will get in. MetaFilter needs intelligent swedes. ;)

Your prayers have been answered. Keep praying on the "intelligent" part though.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi to everyone. Hi everyone!
posted by mr.marx at 4:30 PM on April 2, 2004


Guidelines For New Things

Humans:
Please apply to each earnest paraphrase enough style to make it stand out from its countless predecessors; otherwise, the insatiable, ink-engorged palimpsest will merge your eager scribblings into its uniform, featureless surface, and render them invisible. Spit-shine every comment to a hip and glossy sheen - let its attitude make it entertaining and memorable - as it surely will not be made so by its substance. Déjà vu means you, so at least provide adequate je ne sais quoi.

Nonhumans:
Piss on the palimpsest - it will pucker and complain when exposed to unfamiliar acids, but eventually it will flatten out, bleached and disinfected, ready to accept transcendent inscription. Using your cruellest and sharpest tools (claws, perhaps, or talons, depending on your species), begin carving mystic runes deeply into the deoderized, flesh-like, yielding surface. We await, in pain and in hope, the release of your magics.

Larvae (Human and Nonhuman):
Dip yourselves in sauce, impale yourselves on toothpicks, and arrange yourselves on the snack tray.
posted by Opus Dark at 4:33 PM on April 2, 2004


Opus Dark, were you channeling the Queer Eye "Fab 5" in a particularly articulate moment? I'm hearing Carson, Kyan and Ted (in that order) but no Jai or Thom.
posted by stonerose at 4:44 PM on April 2, 2004


Yay, every one of the new guys has a better username than me!

Except for drpartypoopercrankypantsesquire. He's gonna get tired of that real quick, you mark my words. He'll be sending pleading e-mails to Matt: "Please, oh please, I thought drpartypoopercrankypantsesquire was real clever at the time but I'm sick of it, can't I please be socratease or peterquince or something?" But no, there is no recourse from the Momentary Impulse.

And a warm welcome to the MonkeyFilter arrivals, especially Her MonkeyFilterHood herself, tracicle!
posted by languagehat at 5:32 PM on April 2, 2004


Gad. You're right stonerose. I can almost hear 'em. I gotta go to the Piltdown, grunt somewhere guttural, and swill something straight. Later.
posted by Opus Dark at 5:33 PM on April 2, 2004


Thanks, mathowie! It's great to be here at last... at long, long last...(sniffle)

Shit, i'm gettin' all choked up here...

Damn, i'm already swearing...

damn, did it again...

Dd...
posted by Miles Long at 5:38 PM on April 2, 2004


Your prayers have been answered.

w00t! This calls for a pre Copenhagen MeFi Scandinavia (MeFiS) gathering!
posted by soundofsuburbia at 5:40 PM on April 2, 2004


there is no recourse from the Momentary Impulse

Indeed not.
Very very unfortunately.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:41 PM on April 2, 2004


My name is mwhybark, and I am a mefiholic. I'd like to thank my sponsor and my neighbor and all the rest of you pale, nattering typists, whether you live in the Rainy City or not.

I'll bring donuts next time. Say, is that coffee free?
posted by mwhybark at 5:42 PM on April 2, 2004


I hope and pray that Marcus will get in. MetaFilter needs intelligent swedes. ;)
Your prayers have been answered. Keep praying on the "intelligent" part though.


Wait a gol-darn second here. No one said anything about letting Swedes in. Or intelligence.

Intelligent anyones will ruin the place, ruin it!
posted by Salmonberry at 6:04 PM on April 2, 2004


Ooh. Is this like the previously-discussed-on-MetaFilter and just-implemented-on-kuro5hin type of sponsorship, whereby I can kick him out if he proves to be a nuisance, in order to stave off my own excommunication? I'd love to wield that sort of power here!

Dance for me, boy, like your mother used to!
posted by Danelope at 6:04 PM on April 2, 2004


Robocop is Bleeding,

You have the best handle of all time.

Yours in faith,
Hildago
posted by Hildago at 6:20 PM on April 2, 2004


Welcome, new members! A few random thoughts ...

I'm glad to see no smarty-pants monkey decided to register the name "tracicle" before the real one got in.

W00t! I'm finally below 3.00 on the dhartung wall o' shame! if only I could get another job with web access and a less anally-retentive boss I'd be RIGHT back up there, though

Yep, those are some great names. Again, I am embarrassed by my lame-ass acronym. Sorry, but I had to think it up on the spur of the moment! Some of you folks look like you've been sitting and waiting on a good name for a l-o-o-ng time.

And yes, * nudges amberglow * this seems like a good time to make my obligatory off-hand remark about how I didn't HAVE to sign up, like all the later 14k'ers. Yep, I got in the HARD way, dang it, when lurkin' and pokin' around MEANT something.

Oh, and welcome to our new members! Did I already say that? Shit I'm getting old
posted by yhbc at 6:23 PM on April 2, 2004


and all the rest of you pale, nattering typists

Superb. My money's on mwhybark.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:24 PM on April 2, 2004


It's great to be here. I just flew in from Philly and, boy, are my arms tired.

I should have introduced myself in this thread rather than combining an introduction with a comment in that other thread. Regarding that other thread, it's more appropriate that I here reply: Weston, thanks for the welcome! I, too, recall that conversation with fondness. I fear I did not explain the MHP satisfactorily, though.

Over at MonkeyFilter, there's a discussion about the MeFi membership signup enablement. Someone speculated that many of today's (Friday's) new MeFi members were Monkeys. I know that I'm one. And it's great to see that tracicle, MoFi's version of matthowie got in today as herself.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:24 PM on April 2, 2004


MonkeyFilter's Wedge sounds like one of us, although (alas!) something tells me he won't be joining. Here's his/her comment from the thread linked by Ethereal Bligh:

"Fuck that, and fuck Mefi. There's way too much whining, bitching, and general cattiness; ie, "Stop crapping in the threads!", "This isn't Newsfilter!", "You are misusing AskMeta!", etc. Meffies need to fucking relax and lighten up a bit. And, I'm probably the only one with the balls to say it, but I wonder if mathowie himself isn't part of the problem... by running the place like a middle school vice principal, the dynamics inevitably regress to such a denominator; complete with all the one-upsmanship, incessant bellyaching, tattling, pettiness, and caustic sassiness of prepubescence. Granted, it's not as lame as Fark, but come on... there's no need to clamor in line at the soup kitchen lottery when a superior alternative already exists. But if you insist, at least take a fatty blunt with you to pass around over there so those guys can chill the fuck out."
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:36 PM on April 2, 2004


languagehat - bite me.
posted by drpartypoopercrankypantsesquire at 6:46 PM on April 2, 2004


It's very nice to meet you all. I've wanted to be a member for quite some time, and I already feel like I know many of you.

I do have a question, though. I'm not very confrontational in person, but tend to be a tad opinionated. When can I start snarking?
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 6:47 PM on April 2, 2004


languagehat - bite me.

Off to a roaring start, I see, drwhatever. I look forward to reading more such bon mots and witticisms in the future.

How very lucky we are to have you here.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:53 PM on April 2, 2004


languagehat - bite me

Geez, guy, it was a joke! You pick a name like drpartypoopercrankypantsesquire and get all bent out of shape when somebody makes a joke about it?
*rolls eyes*
posted by languagehat at 7:08 PM on April 2, 2004


Welcome, TungstenChef...are we related?
posted by ColdChef at 7:14 PM on April 2, 2004


languagehat - a joke?

hmmm.

well, apologies then. i didn't find it to be funny the first time i read it and i posted hastily. hopefully that will be the only misunderstanding that occurs while i'm at metafilter.
posted by drpartypoopercrankypantsesquire at 7:34 PM on April 2, 2004


When can I start snarking?


The previous comment is your cue.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:08 PM on April 2, 2004


And the fun begins. Now I'm off to contibute something to the Blue because my MeTa comments outweigh my Mefi comments. And that's just not cool.

Y'know, I heard about this page with hamsters on it...and get this, they dance!
posted by tracicle at 8:21 PM on April 2, 2004


Do any of these "initiations" include markers & cellulite or wedgies & amputated testicles? Because i've been hearing all sorts of stuff...
posted by naxosaxur at 8:23 PM on April 2, 2004


Did anybody besides me notice that the 20 people per day promised by mathowie seems to have turned into 133 (from 17383 to 17515) on Day 2? And yet the official member count has risen by less than 50?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

At least now it'll only take about a week to assimilate the 847 MonkeyFites. We are the MetaBorg.

And if tracicle tries to post dancing hamsters to the blue, I'm introducing the lavender to Majir...

And remember, while I may never bring my "contribution index" into the top 20, that's only because I joined up in 1999 (when Matt wasn't even paying attention), and I was forcably inactive for almost two years on and off. I am the Will Geer/Wilford Brimley-esque lovable old grandpa of MeFi (#206), much more lovable than jonmc (#58) and still wondering why mathowie (#1) hasn't seemed to grow a day older...
posted by wendell at 9:04 PM on April 2, 2004


Talking about the "contribution index" have I mentioned that troutfishing posts too much? :)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:21 PM on April 2, 2004


I think the index is going to be REAL skewed for the next few weeks, migs. Right now that Bad Commie dude is beating you both with a perfect 10.00.
posted by yhbc at 9:27 PM on April 2, 2004


yhbc, I did that. If you find new members who have posted 7 or more comments today, who also joined today, they're artificially placed at the top of the list. Just find the newbie, search for them using their user number, and the database corrects itself, or something technical like that. It'll only last a few days, until that "bad ass" settles down, but it IS amusing, none the less.
posted by BlueTrain at 9:31 PM on April 2, 2004


Languagehat, your exchange with the newbie is comedy gold.
posted by konolia at 9:37 PM on April 2, 2004


I have to admit I kinda like Bad Commie.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:50 PM on April 2, 2004




languagehat - a joke?

hmmm.

well, apologies then. i didn't find it to be funny the first time i read it and i posted hastily. hopefully that will be the only misunderstanding that occurs while i'm at metafilter.


I thought it was hilarious because I thought the same thing. Trust me, I've almost cornered the market on "why did I choose this name?" so you're a welcome addition to the fold, even if reading your name makes me feel like tiny spiders are crawling out of my eye sockets.

All I can say is in three months you're going to wish you chose an entirely more pretentious name, perhaps something along the lines of "fledgling aviator" or "the passion of brent gilchrist" (I'm not giving up on that).
posted by The God Complex at 9:57 PM on April 2, 2004


I have to admit I kinda like Bad Commie.

Really? I've always found characters (even if the caricature isn't intentional) are very rarely funny, especially when the artificiality is so blatant. The best-before date will be on us before we know it--if it isn't already--and then the only entertainment will be how long the fungus is allowed to incubate before someone finally throws it away. But that's just me.
posted by The God Complex at 10:04 PM on April 2, 2004


Re: regrettable usernames - I STILL occasionally wish I had thought to type in "El Kabong" when I was asked for my damn username. If I had, yes, I might now be singing the "why, oh why did I do that" song, but on the other hand - who knows?
posted by yhbc at 10:09 PM on April 2, 2004


MiguelCardoso - I KNOW!....Stop me before I post again, please.

A triple of your finest Portugese liquor might help.
posted by troutfishing at 10:31 PM on April 2, 2004


D. eL.:

No dancing is forecast.

Steve Ballmer jokes, on the other hand, are expected.

I'm pretty sure your sponsorship duties mostly entail calling me if I don't make it to a meeting and sort of giving up if you think I might end up in jail, although you're encouraged to take them more seriously.

;)

And Migs, I'ma gwine tipple some porto to ya right this minit. My problem is links, not drinks.
posted by mwhybark at 10:32 PM on April 2, 2004


Oh, and I'm a MoFite, albeit a recent one.
posted by mwhybark at 10:34 PM on April 2, 2004


MidasMulligan, that was spoken like a true contrarian. You're cute when you're railing against the lefties. Blame starry eyed exuberance from getting something that's been a long time coming, but as a rabid centrist I look forward to a healthy debate with a whole lot of people who don't agree with me on anything.

ColdChef, as I see you hail from Louisiana we may well be brothers in one thing...a deep love of gumbo.
posted by TungstenChef at 10:36 PM on April 2, 2004


Well, I guess I had a real good time fishing for compliments, or whatever it was I was trying to do back there.

See, I'd have gone with something simple, like "woof" or "oryx" or "anaconda" or "drpoopynastyassasslesspants, ph.d" or something. I dunno. These guys, they've had like two years to think of a nick.
posted by furiousthought at 10:36 PM on April 2, 2004


I have to admit that for the longest time I could not tell yhbc, y6y6y6, and y2karl apart.
posted by furiousthought at 10:43 PM on April 2, 2004


Hello, all my little pretties, welcome to the international house of pancakes! All the hot air in our bell jar was getting a little stale and close so it's good to have some fresh air waft in.

dejah, you are far too kind, and goddess is rather extreme, but thank you, gf!
oh, and hama -- I had no idea you were so damn cute!

posted by madamjujujive at 10:49 PM on April 2, 2004


Deep love of gumbo - I love the sound of that!

Deep love of gumbo is the new pink.

Man can face many challenges but only one will get the better of him: the deep, deep love of gumbo which is the sign of the true believer.

I'm am old-fashioned gal, 'cept for my deep love of gumbo.

Judge, it wasn't the money, honest - it was my deep love of gumbo wot made me do it.

Just how deep does your love of gumbo go, pardner?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 2:44 AM on April 3, 2004


Let's just say that because of gumbo, I'll eat okra. My love of gumbo, anyway, runs that deep. It hasn't driven me to a life of crime, but the night is young.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:04 AM on April 3, 2004


I'm sorry. I've pretty much stayed out of it this long, but once you start talking about the gumbo, you're getting all in my junk. I never put okra in my gumbo, Ethereal Bligh, and it's definitely the best gumbo this side of the atlantic. Yo.

and welcome!
posted by taz at 4:38 AM on April 3, 2004


I dunno...

it's just not the same without Seth saying
"New users are exactly the reason why the board is going down the drain."

And why no mention of y2karl, Mr. "Quote'em", Shrink'em, Italisize 'em, Eggregiously-Over-Use-The-TITLE-Tag 'em?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:11 AM on April 3, 2004


Mmmm...gumbo.
posted by ColdChef at 6:05 AM on April 3, 2004


Yes, ColdChef - I learned my magic just south of you. Where y'at?!
posted by taz at 6:37 AM on April 3, 2004


drpartypoopercrankypantsesquire: No problem, and welcome!

The God Complex: Miguel likes everybody.
posted by languagehat at 6:43 AM on April 3, 2004


Well, Bad Commie got himself banned the day he signed up. There goes the betting pool.
posted by y2karl at 6:57 AM on April 3, 2004


He really got banned ?
I'm impressed !
hmmm still gumbo runs deep.
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:14 AM on April 3, 2004


That was a nice performance.
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 8:46 AM on April 3, 2004


Okra reference

Okra cultivation

The Southern Cornbread Controversy

okra conspiracy


Operation Okra

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
posted by clavdivs at 11:20 AM on April 3, 2004


Belated welcome to the newbies! I am no one special. My only claim to fame is being one number away from jonmc. This in a way makes me important, the way going to college with the girl whose friend in grade school knew the daughter of the owner of the store where Janet Jackson bought her nipple shield might.
posted by precocious at 12:30 PM on April 3, 2004


The God Complex: Miguel likes everybody.

Good point.
posted by The God Complex at 12:44 PM on April 3, 2004


precocious is too modest...she's the one holding this whole place together : >
posted by amberglow at 12:55 PM on April 3, 2004


precocious: You know the girl whose friend in grade school knew the daughter of the owner of the store where Janet Jackson bought her nipple shield?? Can I have your autograph?

By the way, is there anything more to incandesce.net than that page? It looks intriguing.
posted by languagehat at 1:35 PM on April 3, 2004


Well, Bad Commie got himself banned the day he signed up. There goes the betting pool.

yes, but at least he left having a kick-ass contribution index of 5.
well, for a few more hours at least.
posted by matteo at 1:47 PM on April 3, 2004


precocious is too modest...she's the one holding this whole place together : >

--which is to say I'm sticky, and can make you high if sniffed.

You know the girl whose friend in grade school knew the daughter of the owner of the store where Janet Jackson bought her nipple shield??

Yes!

...okay, no.

p.s. there'll be something there soon.
posted by precocious at 3:29 PM on April 3, 2004


gumbo...gumbo...gumbo...gumbo...gumbo
All this talk of gumbo has planted an impreative in my head so suddenly I have a little something simmering on the stove. Behold the suggestive power of Metafilter.

In the tradition of throwing together everything one has on hand, here's what's going into my pot of Cajun goodness:

mesquite smoked turkey stock from last Sunday's project
grilled chicken, cause it's too damn nice in AZ not to grill
hot turkey Italian sausage (if anyone knows a source of good andouilli sausage anywhere near Tempe, AZ I'm listening!)
generic frozen whitefish (cause I'm poor and this ain't seafood gumbo)
okra (ok, I went to the grocery for this one)
the usual suspects (mirepoix, Cajun spices, roux, file powder)

...and since I'm an American who doesn't give a whit for culinary tradition, I'm doing it while drinking Madeira before dinner.
posted by TungstenChef at 4:05 PM on April 3, 2004


Sparks a blunt, passes it around............exlaaaaale. Well I'm here. Hello everyone, I hope to make the best of it. Thanks for letting me in. I would like to send a big hello to all the other new Monkey's, and members. BIG-UP's to Wedge, and Sidedish in the other hood.......OK who get's the first dance?
posted by orbit at 4:28 PM on April 3, 2004


Goddammit.

The newbies are throwing off the contribution index. Where's my skewers?

(welcome all. as they say in my native lands, ".")
posted by kaibutsu at 3:27 AM on April 4, 2004


languagehat - bite me.

Geez, guy, it was a joke! You pick a name like ...
*rolls eyes*

languagehat - a joke?
hmmm.
well, apologies then. i didn't find it to be funny the first time i read it and i posted hastily.

The more things change ...

posted by dg at 5:09 AM on April 4, 2004


superfluous comment closing italic tag :-(
posted by dg at 5:11 AM on April 4, 2004


Hi, new people!

Looking at my contribution index and my lackluster name has made me feel inadequate. Boo hoo.
posted by john at 9:15 AM on April 4, 2004


Just saying a quick "howdy". Nice to be on after reading passively for over a year, and much obliged to T r a c y for her help.

Though right now i have to get back to work.
posted by lkc at 6:44 PM on April 4, 2004


Jackal was my first choice for username, but was apparently already used. I panicked under the pressure of trying to be in the first 20, and typed "grateful". I'll try to resist things I'm actually grateful for - at least for now.

And thanks to ewkpates for introducing me a year or so ago.

D'oh!
posted by grateful at 8:31 PM on April 4, 2004


Bloody hell. You go off for a few days & when you come back there's a buncha young 'uns playing around on the front lawn.

It were all fields round 'ere when I were a lad etc...
posted by i_cola at 8:34 PM on April 4, 2004


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