Do you guys have JOBS?!

September 21, 2006 4:49 PM

this isn't going real well ... no, sir, not at all
posted by pyramid termite to Etiquette/Policy at 4:49 PM (92 comments total)

look, i don't even know where to start ... it's not that great a question, it wasn't posed real well and people are getting kind of ornery ...
posted by pyramid termite at 4:51 PM on September 21, 2006

Did you try flagging?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:55 PM on September 21, 2006

posted by thirteenkiller at 4:56 PM on September 21, 2006 [1 favorite]

I flagged, and bunches of other people flagged, and it just keeps growing. I think that's AskMe lingo for thread free-for-all. We've already got the first animated gif.
posted by Mr. Gunn at 4:57 PM on September 21, 2006

Get a job.
posted by loquacious at 4:59 PM on September 21, 2006

I dunno about the not-going-well thing, pyramid termite. This may be the greatest troll in the history of the Green. I'm kinda tempted to cyber applause, myself.
posted by paulsc at 4:59 PM on September 21, 2006

"Man, you gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot!"
[Marge whispers in ear]
"I knew that."
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:59 PM on September 21, 2006

Did you try flagging?

the question by itself is borderline ... but the bickering's getting out of hand

This may be the greatest troll in the history of the Green.

i'm wondering about that myself ...
posted by pyramid termite at 5:01 PM on September 21, 2006

posted by brownpau at 5:03 PM on September 21, 2006

I was partly kidding, pt. Odds are that the thread's been flagged as all get out, just mom and dad are out for the afternoon.

/Cranks Bob Seger, slides down hallway in Raybans and tighty-whities
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:03 PM on September 21, 2006

The reason Matt and Jess haven't deleted the thread is because they actually work for a living, which means they don't have all day to-

-GREAT SCOTT! "JMARQ" IS ACTUALLY A SOCKPUPPET FOR BOTH OF THE ADMINS!
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:05 PM on September 21, 2006

I thought MetaFilter was Matt's fucking job?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:07 PM on September 21, 2006

pssst Alvy... Matt's over at Fark
posted by maryh at 5:11 PM on September 21, 2006

I just want to say that those of us who really work on ambulances shouldn't be tarred with the same brush as this jackass.

(I'm posting from the inside of a patient's ribcage right now)
posted by scrump at 5:13 PM on September 21, 2006

(I'm posting from the inside of a patient's ribcage right now)

move down a little and you can vent some spleen
posted by pyramid termite at 5:14 PM on September 21, 2006 [1 favorite]

Outside of a ribcage, it's too dark to read!
posted by cortex at 5:20 PM on September 21, 2006

I don't think I told that right.
posted by cortex at 5:20 PM on September 21, 2006

Of course you didn't. You're a brain. Everyone knows the old joke about the most important part of the body, and YOU'RE NOT IT.
posted by scrump at 5:24 PM on September 21, 2006

Alright, leave it out and put in a windshield-wiper instead.
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:28 PM on September 21, 2006

Thank you for posting this callout. I was very tempted to call the AskMe poster an idiot in the AskMe thread, which would have been wrong. Now I can do it here, in the finest tradition of MetaTalk.

Also, this is the funniest thing I've seen all day. Thanks, thirteenkiller!
posted by languagehat at 5:30 PM on September 21, 2006

It must be national admins take a day off day or something, because this piece of shit is still open, as well.

So, uh, fire up your self-linking, double-posting engines, folks. The time is ripe to take the blue by storm...
posted by dersins at 5:35 PM on September 21, 2006

*Opens Matt's webcam stream*

Augh damn! Put some pants on!

He's, uh, busy.
posted by loquacious at 5:41 PM on September 21, 2006

Welcome, new users! Even the morons!

It must be national admins take a day off day or something

Undeleted double here, too, from yesterday. And yeah, I flagged it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:51 PM on September 21, 2006

I can't wait until everyone on metafilter sees me and my raffish, freewheeling, devil-may-care attitude.
posted by naxosaxur at 5:53 PM on September 21, 2006

This post was deleted for the following reason: try a blog for your rants instead?

works for me ... thank you, metagods
posted by pyramid termite at 6:03 PM on September 21, 2006

posted by Effigy2000 at 6:12 PM on September 21, 2006

Sorry about that. I flew down to California for my mom's surprise party and have been offline for much of the past 24hrs.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 6:16 PM on September 21, 2006

Just in time, too. Because you know what time it almost was...
posted by Mr. Gunn at 6:18 PM on September 21, 2006

my favorite part was when he was all like *backpedaling* ha ha just an observation guys no need to get defensive now...trust me: you'll know when i'm being a dick *backpedaling*
posted by naxosaxur at 6:18 PM on September 21, 2006

Umm, Matt, if you don't do something about this thread, too, you're going to get about 50 "WHAAA!!!! MY CHATFILTER WAS DELECTED WHY WAS IT DELETED WHEN THE TRANSPORTER / HOLODECK / REPLICATOR POST GOT TO STAY!!!" metatalk posts in the next month or so....
posted by dersins at 6:26 PM on September 21, 2006

That is absurd.




Transporter all the way, dumbasses.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:37 PM on September 21, 2006

got to hell.
posted by ND¢ at 6:49 PM on September 21, 2006

Which one of those three devices allows one to split Star Trek folks from asshole to appetite and hang them from the city walls as a lesson to the others?
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:52 PM on September 21, 2006

paulsc writes "This may be the greatest troll in the history of the Green"

Not even close to the "I got my blind girlfriend's sister pregnant" question.
posted by Mitheral at 7:02 PM on September 21, 2006

Not even close to the "I got my blind girlfriend's sister pregnant" question.

Really? I thought it was pretty generic.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:07 PM on September 21, 2006

I thought it was pretty generic.

bump. set. SPIKE.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:08 PM on September 21, 2006

I miss hypotheticals, without a doubt my favorite posts have talked about:

Training to fight bears

Fighting 5 year olds

Disposing of corpses

Does that make me a bad person?

posted by blue_beetle at 7:16 PM on September 21, 2006

That all depends. Did you want to dispose of the bear corpses, or the five year-olds' corpses?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:20 PM on September 21, 2006

Which one of those three devices allows one to split Star Trek folks from asshole to appetite and hang them from the city walls as a lesson to the others?

I know. I mean, transporter / holodeck / food replicator? What is that shit?

Everyone knows the proper choice is between farcaster, immersive VR via neural lace or effector, and wendymeat.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:20 PM on September 21, 2006

That all depends. Did you want to dispose of the bear corpses, or the five year-olds' corpses?

THINK, people!

[SINGING]
Feed the children, with no shoes on their feet, to the bears, who don't have enough to eat. Take bear corpses, and put 'em in the peat. Oh, oh, there's a solution.
[/SINGING]

I miss questions like those too. Don't forget about removing your own tonsils.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:23 PM on September 21, 2006 [1 favorite]

That guy was a prick. I'm getting shagged up the arse right now and I can still type okay.
posted by fire&wings at 7:32 PM on September 21, 2006 [2 favorites]

Did you want to dispose of the bear corpses, or the five year-olds' corpses?

a holodeck wouldn't work for that and a replicator is right out, for obvious reasons

therefore, the answer is transporter

two questions

do transporters accept mailing addresses?

i know the number, the street and the city, but what's the zip code for the white house?

(hmm, maybe that replicator could be useful, after all)
posted by pyramid termite at 7:36 PM on September 21, 2006

I'm getting shagged up the arse right now and I can still type okay.

Worst. Buttsecks. Evar.
posted by Gamblor at 7:48 PM on September 21, 2006

blue_beetle writes "I miss hypotheticals, without a doubt my favorite posts have talked about:
"

Disposing of corpses

"

What makes you think that was a hypothetical?
posted by Mitheral at 8:08 PM on September 21, 2006

Let's get this over with once and for all, shall we?

REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE WRITERS AND PRODUCERS OF TREK HAVE THROWN ONSCREEN OVER THE YEARS, A TELEPORTATION UNIT WOULD POSSESS THE SAME INHERENT QUALATIES OF A MATTER REPLICATION UNIT AND A PROJECTION SYSTEM. BY EXTRAPOLATING THE "DATA" OF AN ITEM AT ONE END OF THE TELEPORTER, THE ITEM COULD BE SENT TO ANOTHER DESTINATION, OR THE "DATA" COULD SERVE AS A TEMPLATE; CHEMICAL COMPOUNDS AND RAW ELEMENTS IN MEASURED AMOUNTS COULD BE FED AT ONE OF THE SECONDARY POINTS AND YOU WOULD EFFECTIVE HAVE A FOOD PROCESSOR/REPLICATION UNIT. ADJUSTING THE SETTINGS COULD ALSO PRODUCE A DISPLAY REGISTRY ROUGHLY SIMILAR TO A HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTION SYSTEM. AND SURE - WITH EVEN MORE TWEAKING, YOU COULD DESIGN THE TELEPORTER TO DEMATERIALISE MATERIAL INTO ITS CORE CONSTITUENTS WITHOUT REASSEMBLING THEM, THEN MOUNT THE EQUIPMENT ON THE EXTERIOR OF A SPACESHIP AND PRESTO! YOU'D MORE OR LESS HAVE YOURSELF A FUNCTIONING DISINTEGRATOR CANNON. WORK IN SOME KIND OF "CONTAINMENT FIELD" POPULAR IN SCI-FI TROPES, AND YES, YOU'D HAVE "SOLID" (OR SO-CALLED "HARD LIGHT") HOLOGRAMS.

GIVEN THAT MUCH OF THIS TECH IS STILL IN THE RANGE OF IMPROBABILITY/IMPRACTICALITY, ARGUING OVER THE COOLNESS FACTOR OF IT ALL IS LIKE...WELL, GETTING ALL MISTY-EYED OVER A NETOWRK TELEVISION SERIES, A SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON, OR A STRING OF THEATRICAL MATINEES - OH, WAIT, RIGHT. HOW SILLY OF ME...

YOU KIDS TODAY NEED TO READ MORE BOOKS. AND NOT JUST THE COFFEE TABLE ONES, EITHER.
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:14 PM on September 21, 2006 [1 favorite]

Damn you, pyramid termite!
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:15 PM on September 21, 2006

Okay, then, if you could have any ONE of these three technologies from "Clan of the Cave Bear", would it be the "ROCK", the "BIG STICK" or "FIRE?"
posted by arto at 8:30 PM on September 21, 2006

What, no monolith option?
posted by yhbc at 8:38 PM on September 21, 2006

I know this has probably been discussed & answered a thousand times before, but I am too lazy to search, so in the spirit of AskMe:

Can anybody give me a nutshell reason why we don't have a dedicated ChatFilter / HypotheticalFilter area? Those kinds of questions are against the spirit of AskMe, but many of us do seem to get a lot of enjoyment out of them.

(And don't just point me to MetaChat, please)
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:38 PM on September 21, 2006

Maybe we should have a race between the trucks from The Beverly Hillbillies and Sanford & Son, to decide the ultimate fate of humanity.
posted by Smart Dalek at 8:39 PM on September 21, 2006

how have FIRE without STICK? ... arto not caveman ... arto neanderthal dummy ... arto go extinct
posted by pyramid termite at 8:42 PM on September 21, 2006

Yeah, if only we all could be fucking auto mechanics. Because that's what "working on the ambulance" means in English. He surely can't be an EMT, can he?
posted by c13 at 8:46 PM on September 21, 2006

UbuRoivas: Why not, when that IS what MetaChat is there for?
posted by SpecialK at 8:46 PM on September 21, 2006

Why must this always be explained, and often in all caps?

THE TRANSPORTER IS NOT A FAX MACHINE. IT CONVERTS SOLID MATTER INTO A MATTER STREAM THAT IS REASSEMBLED AT THE DESTINATION. IT IS NOT A COPY. IT IS THE ORIGINAL ITEM. THINK OF IT MORE LIKE A LOCALIZED WARP DRIVE. CAN I STOP SHOUTING NOW BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY. I KNOW THAT TECHNICALLY I COULD JUST PRESS CAPS LOCK BUT THE SIMPLEST SOLUTION IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, DO SOME READING ABOUT AMERICAN POLITICS. THAT IS ALL. END RANT.
posted by blue_beetle at 9:00 PM on September 21, 2006

Also: MetaChat is not a part of Metafilter. That's like saying, if you want to talk about news items, go to GoogleGroups, or some random website. (attach snark here)
posted by blue_beetle at 9:02 PM on September 21, 2006

THE TRANSPORTER IS NOT A FAX MACHINE.

it's a good thing, too ... saboteurs could paint themselves black and send themselves through, and then the other transporter would be out of ink quicker
posted by pyramid termite at 9:15 PM on September 21, 2006 [1 favorite]

Does matt may Jessamyn? If not, why not?
posted by delmoi at 9:22 PM on September 21, 2006

THE TRANSPORTER IS NOT A FAX MACHINE. IT CONVERTS SOLID MATTER INTO A MATTER STREAM THAT IS REASSEMBLED AT THE DESTINATION. IT IS NOT A COPY. IT IS THE ORIGINAL ITEM. THINK OF IT MORE LIKE A LOCALIZED WARP DRIVE.

Well, what about the eppisode where Riker got duplicated, huh?
posted by delmoi at 9:23 PM on September 21, 2006

hey, that sounds neat! how do you do that and do you orgasm just as nicely as you do when masturbating in the subway?

Calling Mr. Monday... Mr. Carl Monday...
posted by evilcolonel at 9:30 PM on September 21, 2006

Does matt may Jessamyn? If not, why not?

Can you make some sense, please?

UbuRoivas, there is a short answer and a long answer. The short answer is "because the site, as it currently exists, can't handle an endless stream of hypothetical/chatfilter questions and such questions aren't really useful to the community as a whole (in the future) just to the person answering the question at the time." the longer answer is "and yes mathowie could change that, but he doesn't want to, and I'm not really keen on the idea either".
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:37 PM on September 21, 2006

posted by loquacious at 9:40 PM on September 21, 2006

The short answer is "because the site, as it currently exists, can't handle an endless stream of hypothetical/chatfilter questions and such questions aren't really useful to the community as a whole (in the future) just to the person answering the question at the time." the longer answer is "and yes mathowie could change that, but he doesn't want to, and I'm not really keen on the idea either".

why is the short answer longer than the long answer? ... i'm so confused ...
posted by pyramid termite at 9:46 PM on September 21, 2006

I no longer post here much during work hours because my job is really all I can handle between 9 and 5. At times I may take a 10 minute MeFi break but usually I post right after waking, over morning cofee, or in the late evening hours.

Just as relevant a question, but more revealing of the underlying assholishness, would have been:

"How do people without kids find the time to post here?"

naxos nailed him as only she can.
posted by scarabic at 9:52 PM on September 21, 2006

It seems interesting to me that AskMe is supposed to exist as a resource ("for the future") but the average lifetime (people actively participating in discussion of question) of a thread is shrinking to less than a day. In fact, some askers won't even follow up on their own question after a few hours have past.

Which makes me think (again) that some people don't get the internet...
posted by achmorrison at 9:53 PM on September 21, 2006

"How do people without kids find the time to post here?"

Not only is this negative when I meant it to be positive, it's framed totally wrong. Jesus. What's wrong with me tonight?

I mean something more like:

"There must be nobody on this site with any kids from the way you all post so much."

I know this to be untrue but it's no less an apparently valid assumption than that we must all be jobless.
posted by scarabic at 9:54 PM on September 21, 2006

There must be nobody on this site with any kids from the way you all post so much.

that's because they spend so much time on here, they never get to MAKE any kids

*cymbal crash*
posted by pyramid termite at 9:59 PM on September 21, 2006

I have a kid & a job & I still come here a lot. Plus my volunteer time with the orphans. Not to mention the weekends spent building homes for Habitat for Humanity. And don't get me started on washing the lepers. Jesus but those lepers are hard to clean! The point is, I'm a busier, better person than all of you put together times five.

Wait. What were we discussing again?
posted by jonson at 10:12 PM on September 21, 2006

how much better we like y2karl than you
posted by cortex at 10:13 PM on September 21, 2006 [1 favorite]

I smell shenanigans.

Everyone knows cleaning out the drain is the hardest part of bathing lepers.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:15 PM on September 21, 2006

I smell shenanigans.

Everyone knows cleaning out the drain is the hardest part of bathing lepers.

I always thought the hardest part was not throwing up.
posted by loquacious at 10:18 PM on September 21, 2006

n00b.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:20 PM on September 21, 2006

I didn't have the time to read this, could someone summarize it in a photo that involves an animal pooping?
posted by allen.spaulding at 10:20 PM on September 21, 2006

ph00l.

Everyone knows lepers are for greasing the stones with.
posted by loquacious at 10:22 PM on September 21, 2006

Still, how much work can somebody get done if you're so busy metafiltering at work?
posted by davy at 10:28 PM on September 21, 2006

OOH Scarabic brought up Naxosaxur! OOH if you disagree with Naxosaxur she calls you a retard, a Nazi and probably a pedophile too. I'm so AFRAID of that one's sparkling wit, and all her classmates in 7th grade.
posted by davy at 10:34 PM on September 21, 2006

Well, this took yet another wacky turn.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:35 PM on September 21, 2006

Does matt may Jessamyn? If not, why not?

Can you make some sense, please?

I meant to ask if he payed you. I have no idea how I mistyped that.
posted by delmoi at 10:54 PM on September 21, 2006

*paid
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:56 PM on September 21, 2006

*pops in*

Is now a good time to mention again that MeFi needs a third moderator who lives in either Europe, Asia or Australia?

*pops out*
posted by mediareport at 11:00 PM on September 21, 2006

Or Africa?

*pops*
posted by mediareport at 11:02 PM on September 21, 2006

my favorite part was when he was all like *backpedaling* ha ha just an observation guys no need to get defensive now...trust me: you'll know when i'm being a dick *backpedaling*

That cracked me up.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 11:14 PM on September 21, 2006

Everyone knows cleaning out the drain is the hardest part of bathing lepers.

no, the hardest part is when they give you the finger ... or two ... or three ...
posted by pyramid termite at 11:18 PM on September 21, 2006

Uh, the filthy lepers & I would appreciate it if you'd all grow up and stop making jokes at their expense. And cortex: touche, my friend, touche.
posted by jonson at 11:28 PM on September 21, 2006

Is now a good time to mention again that MeFi needs a third moderator who lives in either Europe, Asia or Australia?

That's a good idea. There should be an admin in a different part of of the world to cover downtime of the US admins. And I'm sure there is a good brit canidate who could swing it.
posted by bob sarabia at 11:46 PM on September 21, 2006

Actually, I wonder if someone in Korean would be a good admin.
posted by bob sarabia at 11:49 PM on September 21, 2006

People who post their location on their profile page just don't understand transporter beams.
posted by Joeforking at 1:27 AM on September 22, 2006

Anyone else find it funny that the question was posted at 4:21PM?
posted by clevershark at 6:37 AM on September 22, 2006

George Bush doesn't care about transnational site admins.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:35 AM on September 22, 2006

This thread is full of the funny but this is the exchange that made me laugh till tears ran down my cheeks, pooled on the floor, and drowned my cats:

I'm getting shagged up the arse right now and I can still type okay.

Worst. Buttsecks. Evar.
posted by languagehat at 8:29 AM on September 22, 2006

blue_beetle writes "That's like saying, if you want to talk about news items, go to GoogleGroups, or some random website. "

You mean like sportsfilter? Lots of huge community sites exist on the web (SA, Fark, Photo.net) and there isn't any reason to copy them all here.

pyramid termite writes "why is the short answer longer than the long answer? ."

The long answer includes the complete text of the short answer.
posted by Mitheral at 9:19 AM on September 22, 2006

I nominated stavros for the position of Eastern Hemisphere Moderator in regards to another thread that began to longboat as the result of sleeping moderators.
posted by blasdelf at 3:20 PM on September 22, 2006

Stavros is too damn cranky.
posted by languagehat at 5:21 PM on September 22, 2006