Accusing anonymous posters of lying and being on chemo. April 7, 2007 3:40 PM   Subscribe

IANAD, but you're lying and you have cancer. I've never done a Metatalk callout before and never will again, I promise. But are answers like this really warranted?
posted by roll truck roll to Etiquette/Policy at 3:40 PM (33 comments total)

One of the difficulties of anonymous questions is the lack of easy direct feedback from the poster. Speculation tends to run a bit more rampant than in a normal question, which is sort of the nature of the beast as answerers tend to try to answer all the possible angles in the absence of clarifications.

The "you're lying" comment seems a bit of a bald (I'm sorry) assertion, but is still essentially speculative and not very hostile. The cancer comment isn't even an assertion. There doesn't seem to be much objectionable there so far.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:46 PM on April 7, 2007


Yeah, those comments were unnecessary. If you think somebody is lying in their question, well, fuck 'em. They aren't going to get the help they actually need anyway, and there's no sense messing up the thread.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 3:47 PM on April 7, 2007


Wow. This seems like a very violent reaction to some very mild hypothesizing by a couple of posters.

I certainly didn't notice any maliciousness or hatefulness of tone.

Now that you've pointed it out, I kinda see it, but I think a metatalk callout is a little over the top.

I've directly said more than once that I didn't think a question was real or honest.
posted by Ynoxas at 3:49 PM on April 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


The OP is asking how men would react. To impose a systemic filter on answers to such a question requiring that all responses be positive and reinforcing is to render AskMe useless for questions of this kind.

It seems to me that both of the respondents you're complaining about are being honest about what they'd think. It's entirely possible that the hypothetical man dating the OP might have one of those reactions as well, so I think they're legitimate answers.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 3:50 PM on April 7, 2007


I think it's a pretty good data point that if you told a date you were wearing a wig, they might jump to the (quite likely unwarranted) conclusion that you had cancer. That could be a date buzzkill and maybe worth knowing in advance.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:51 PM on April 7, 2007


[shrug]

goes back to drinking Martini
posted by unSane at 3:52 PM on April 7, 2007


jessamyn typed "I think it's a pretty good data point that if you told a date you were wearing a wig, they might jump to the (quite likely unwarranted) conclusion that you had cancer. That could be a date buzzkill and maybe worth knowing in advance."

You're right. Issues like this hit kinda close to home for me, and that's why I reacted the way I did. Clearly I would not react the way those people did, and well, that's why I posted an answer too.

Unless people want to keep fighting, feel free to close this thread or whatever.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:55 PM on April 7, 2007


datebuzzkill.com is available.
posted by phaedon at 3:56 PM on April 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


metafilter - you're lying and you have cancer
posted by pyramid termite at 3:58 PM on April 7, 2007 [3 favorites]


The reponse didn't intimate on any level that the poster had cancer. This callout is lame. The poster has opened the response field for comments far and wide. If someone said that a woman wearing a wig for no apparent reason made them think of a Thai call-girl that shot ping pong balls out her parts during a stage show he saw on shore leave it would still be fair game, wouldn't it? The poster wants opinions. Opinions aren't always pretty. They're subjective.
posted by docpops at 3:59 PM on April 7, 2007


Lain's assumption is definitely ass-ump-tive. But I have confidence that the original poster is smart enough to realize that his/her answer is useless. That's the way I read it. The cancer answer came across to me more as a hypothetical than a full-on accusation; if a girl I was dating did have cancer, I would surely want to be as informed and as supportive as possible.

That said, artificial enhancements are as common as vanity itself: from hair transplants, lipo, collagen injections, wooden beards (in egypt), nose jobs, boob jobs, dick jobs, cooter jobs, anal bleaching. . . it dizzy's the mind. I wouldn't expect full disclosure on a first or second date as much as I'd expect them to agree to a full financial analysis or credit check.

All is vanity, all. Even a smarmy answer from a dipshit like myself who happens to agree that all clothing (or other accoutrements) are costume and all behavior (is) theater underlines the fact. (emphasis added)
posted by isopraxis at 4:06 PM on April 7, 2007


Anne-Marie Johnson's cameo as "Cherry" in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka - as the hot hooker who starts removing her prosthetics one by one as she corners Keenan on the bed - pretty much sums up my feelings on this matter.
posted by phaedon at 4:09 PM on April 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Thou shalt not make anyone feel even slightly uncomfortable in ask.me?
posted by Space Coyote at 4:10 PM on April 7, 2007


Yeah, this callout was superlame. The tone of the comments was nothing what was intimated here.

On the plus side, I learned there is a practice called anal bleaching.
posted by 6550 at 4:28 PM on April 7, 2007


If she has big tits, no one will ever get around to noticing her hair (or lack thereof). [NOT CHAUVINIST]
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:40 PM on April 7, 2007


Seeing how you posted anonymously, I personally think you cant grow hair at all.

No comment containing this sentence should be removed. In fact, I think it justifies the question.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:44 PM on April 7, 2007


As an old-fashioned gentleman, I would consider it very important to know whether a woman I was courting was wearing a wig --- they're typically worn by bawdy sluts. It would make me wonder whether, being bald up top, she was also bald below the waist.
posted by jayder at 5:11 PM on April 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


It's brazen trolloptosity, worst then a loose corset or a slatternly exposed ankle.
posted by Falconetti at 5:21 PM on April 7, 2007 [4 favorites]


Britney Spears is a member here now?
posted by geoff. at 5:30 PM on April 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


I guess I'm in the minority on this one. I approved of this callout, but I suppose I approve of pretty much all callouts.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 5:32 PM on April 7, 2007


roll truck roll, are those "summary quotes"? Because I can't find anyone saying the first thing (or even the second thing quite so directly).
posted by mathowie (staff) at 5:41 PM on April 7, 2007


Okay, I'll say this again. The cancer thing struck a personal chord for me and I overreacted. Sorry sorry sorry.
posted by roll truck roll at 5:59 PM on April 7, 2007


"Britney Spears is a member here now?"

Just us.
posted by Britney's Nipples at 6:02 PM on April 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


I think we're done here.
posted by puke & cry at 6:14 PM on April 7, 2007


I think this part of the comment roll truck roll linked to is the "you're lying" part: "Seeing how you posted anonymously, I personally think you cant grow hair at all."
posted by Kattullus at 6:40 PM on April 7, 2007


I don't understand anything about this. Maybe somebody got castrated and/or lobotomized? Is everybody on Thorazine?
posted by davy at 6:56 PM on April 7, 2007


Those comments struck me as pretty off, as well.

But I think we've all learned that men have no idea that a lot of women wear wigs, and in fact will assume that wig-wearing women are lying about something. Weird.
posted by desuetude at 7:06 PM on April 7, 2007


It's brazen trolloptosity, worst then a loose corset or a slatternly exposed ankle.

then = than
posted by Falconetti at 7:07 PM on April 7, 2007


trolloptosity = trolloposity
posted by quonsar at 7:15 PM on April 7, 2007


worst=worse
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:30 PM on April 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


ankle=colon
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 7:39 PM on April 7, 2007


thread=dead.
posted by Firas at 7:44 PM on April 7, 2007


A=A.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:47 PM on April 7, 2007


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