In our profiles, what are the conventions and expectations for "Links to" and "Linked by"?

June 2, 2007 5:24 AM

I've been wondering about the conventions and expectations for "Links to" and "Linked by" in our profiles. So far I've been "linked by" one person, who I don't know in real life but who I'm quite happy to be associated with based on what I've seen of their contributions. If a person ever spontaneously linked to me and I wasn't into it for some reason, would there be a way to point this out to them (if they didn't have contact info)? Or would that be irrelevant because linking is really just more of a global "favorite" button, without any connotation of "A likes B, therefore we can assume B likes A"?
posted by allterrainbrain to etiquette/policy at 5:24 AM (39 comments total)

If someone says they like you than you're legally obliged to like them back. It's all in the T&Cs.
posted by cillit bang at 5:44 AM on June 2, 2007

"Links to" is a non-transitive, non-symmetric, and non-reflexive relation which can be used for any purpose. Don't overthink it.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:51 AM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is this the right place to say that XFN is too restrictive? I don't remember where it was, but some site once allowed me to put a freeform relationship phrase to complete "X ______ Y". For instance, "was in a MefiSwap group with", "stalks", "once saw the underpants of", "prejudges the submissions of", "wishes he was", etc. I think that's something we should have.
posted by Plutor at 6:56 AM on June 2, 2007

X "while at an LA meetup, met" Y
posted by Plutor at 6:57 AM on June 2, 2007

I have non-XFN relationships in my contacts.
posted by grouse at 7:12 AM on June 2, 2007

I use the links to/linked by for a few different reasons

- people I've met.
- people who says they're librarians or work in libraries or are going to library school.
- people in my area.
- people whose contributions I want to follow on the site.

There's been a little bit of mostly good-natured grabassery concerning linking to people [Meatbomb calls many people siblings for example, I've seen others who, in my opinion oversweetheart] but generally there's no obligation (and no notification) to link back to anyone, so don't overthink and/or worry about it.
posted by jessamyn at 7:20 AM on June 2, 2007

I know of two people who've told me that they make MeFi contacts of others (with the 'sweetheart' thing) precisely when they dislike, are insulted by, or otherwise aren't what you might call positively disposed towards them. Ironically, like.

I'd say use it any damn way you want, and try not to take it all so seriously.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:23 AM on June 2, 2007

If it means nothing now, was it originally intended to mean anything?
posted by allterrainbrain at 7:30 AM on June 2, 2007

It's just for fun, alterrainbrain! If you want to use it, do. If you don't, don't. It doesn't matter.
posted by grouse at 7:35 AM on June 2, 2007

allterainbrain, my sister!!! I've found you at last, so good to be with you again.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:35 AM on June 2, 2007

It's pretty darned free form. No, there's not much you can do if someone links you in a way that you find bizarre and doesn't provide (or respond to) contact information.

Wolfdog has it.
posted by cortex at 7:40 AM on June 2, 2007

Heh, tell me about it, stavros.

How did you manage that, grouse?
posted by Aloysius Bear at 8:34 AM on June 2, 2007

MEATBOMB!! Dude!!!!!!!!

So, I trust you... y'know......... well, dammit, look who I'm talking to, I don't need to tell you!

Also I'm just gonna hope you made the cage from the 1" iron bars like I said, cause I told them they could deliver it as soon as I found you again.

I can't freakin believe this. Is there anything mefi can't accomplish?
posted by allterrainbrain at 8:55 AM on June 2, 2007

It means you're going to spend the rest of eternity with these people in the afterlife. Best to get to know them now.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:35 AM on June 2, 2007

This thread just made me go through the last "should I become a librarian" question and add everybody in there as colleagues.
posted by MsMolly at 10:02 AM on June 2, 2007

Well I really HOPE it's just a convenient way to find another user's posts and comments. Because THIS from my profile scares me:
Linked by: amberglow (friend sweetheart)

Except in the case of my link to misslynnster as "crush." That is totally serious. I wouldn't be peeking in through her windows if I didn't care.
posted by The Deej at 10:03 AM on June 2, 2007

Please... don't beanplate the linktos.
posted by The Deej at 10:05 AM on June 2, 2007 [4 favorites]

If a person ever spontaneously linked to me and I wasn't into it for some reason, would there be a way to point this out to them (if they didn't have contact info)? Or would that be irrelevant because linking is really just more of a global "favorite" button, without any connotation of "A likes B, therefore we can assume B likes A"?

DUDE ITS A FUCKING WEB SITE.
posted by quonsar at 10:52 AM on June 2, 2007

No quonsar, the Fucking Website is being discussed in the dating.meta thread.
posted by The Deej at 11:11 AM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I assume that anyone Meatbomb links to is a polyamorous pot-smoker.
posted by jayder at 12:12 PM on June 2, 2007

creepy
posted by taosbat at 12:15 PM on June 2, 2007

*lives in hermetically sealed Ocean Spray can. does not even link to administrators*
posted by Cranberry at 1:26 PM on June 2, 2007

So my question is , if people don't link to me does that mean they hate me? If so should I start making all the threads on MeFi about me till I'm loved both near and far?

. . .
posted by nola at 1:28 PM on June 2, 2007

If someone says they like you than you're legally obliged to like them back. It's all in the T&Cs.

But I think I've got some sarcastic ones in there.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:38 PM on June 2, 2007

So my question is , if people don't link to me does that mean they hate me?

Yes.

*sobs*
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:33 PM on June 2, 2007

Q: You like linking?
A: Oh yes! I want to link and link and link and link.
Q: You are a person who likes linking to users?
A: I WANT TO LINK!
Q: In fact, you like linking as much as quonsar likes to talk about the fish in his pants?

I think I need to get me some of this linking action.
posted by Chuckles at 2:46 PM on June 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

Meatbomb thinks Brave New Meatbomb is his child but Brave New Meatbomb thinks Meatbomb is his friend met co-worker co-resident sibling? Do you two need to talk?
posted by paduasoy at 2:58 PM on June 2, 2007

LINK TO ME OR THIS CUTE LITTLE PUPPY DISCOVERS NAPALM
posted by loquacious at 3:05 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I don't remember where it was, but some site once allowed me to put a freeform relationship phrase to complete "X ______ Y". For instance, "was in a MefiSwap group with", "stalks", "once saw the underpants of", "prejudges the submissions of", "wishes he was", etc.

You must be talking about Last.fm and yeah, that was pretty cool -- although last I checked, they don't let you define relationships free-form anymore.
posted by Lush at 4:15 PM on June 2, 2007

Remember, kids -- you're supposed to link to your sockpuppet.
posted by eriko at 5:12 PM on June 2, 2007

Will you be my friend?

☐ Yes
☐ No
posted by Rhomboid at 5:30 PM on June 2, 2007

☑ Maybe
posted by Rhomboid at 5:32 PM on June 2, 2007

Plate of beans
posted by fire&wings at 6:11 PM on June 2, 2007

My god. This reminds me of all the lifejournal friending kerfuffles.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:16 PM on June 2, 2007

This would be much more useful if the valid categories included 'nemesis' and 'doppelgänger'.
posted by hangashore at 6:16 PM on June 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

Will you be my friend?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☑ None of the above
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 8:04 PM on June 2, 2007

It'd be great if you could add some non-friendly categories - like arsehole, prick or cunt. That way it'd increase my chances of being linked to by other me-fights (beat you to it).
posted by strawberryviagra at 1:20 AM on June 3, 2007

*Drumrollandflourish*

It means you're going to spend the rest of eternity with these people in the afterlife. Best to get to know them now.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:35 AM on June 2 [+] [!]


WAY COOL, who is designing "Afterlife" the virtual reality online game ? I'm already on my second life here and really, its way too hot this summer already.
posted by infini at 2:57 AM on June 4, 2007

btw, THANK YOU amberglow ;p
posted by infini at 3:03 AM on June 4, 2007