poor matt, sorry man. July 2, 2007 8:06 AM Subscribe
OLYTP (one link youtube post)...i know, but I feel really bad for Matt. Such a shiny new toy and it doesnt even work.
It's heartbreaking, the sadness in those eyes, the barely-held-back disappointment in that face. The warmth and brief flicker of hope as he leans in close, touching, willing it to live.
posted by chrismear at 8:19 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by chrismear at 8:19 AM on July 2, 2007
Previously, dramatic reinterpretation, and the music video.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:20 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:20 AM on July 2, 2007
I love the guy chastising mathowie for making the video:
And, jessamyn's version is better!
posted by Chuckles at 8:22 AM on July 2, 2007
So instead of taking it back to the store, or calling Apple tech support, you decided to make a video and post it on You Tube? Dude just take it back, they'll get you a new one.This must be the ultimate in MetaFilter cognitive dissonance: Apple fan-boy vs. Matt kiss-up. It is the only thing that has saved us from similar complaints, I'm sure. Small mercies :P
And, jessamyn's version is better!
posted by Chuckles at 8:22 AM on July 2, 2007
Anyone who doubts there is a God has only to look at this photo for proof that yes, God lives. He lives in every iPhone.
Except for that first one that mathowie bought - that was a godless piece of crap.
posted by iconomy at 8:22 AM on July 2, 2007
Except for that first one that mathowie bought - that was a godless piece of crap.
posted by iconomy at 8:22 AM on July 2, 2007
"the fingers, they do nothing! And yeah, I look like Sylar."
Hahahhaha.
posted by agropyron at 8:23 AM on July 2, 2007
Hahahhaha.
posted by agropyron at 8:23 AM on July 2, 2007
You know when they train animals to do something for a reward then take the stimulus away and the animal compulsively keeps doing whatever it was to keep getting a reward that doesn't come? Apple are like cruel labmasters.
posted by biffa at 8:27 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by biffa at 8:27 AM on July 2, 2007
I have a little trouble working up any sympathy for a guy whose $600 cell phone won't work.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:29 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by Dave Faris at 8:29 AM on July 2, 2007
You're made of stone. I couldn't eat at all that day, worrying. And sleep? Forget about it.
posted by iconomy at 8:33 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by iconomy at 8:33 AM on July 2, 2007
I have a little trouble working up any sympathy for a guy whose $600 cell phone won't work.
How fortunate that no one is asking you to!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:33 AM on July 2, 2007 [4 favorites]
How fortunate that no one is asking you to!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:33 AM on July 2, 2007 [4 favorites]
I hadn't seen the jessamynated version. Heh. Nice job you have there paying out on the boss!
posted by peacay at 8:39 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by peacay at 8:39 AM on July 2, 2007
cortex told me that I was the only doofus with videos of himself on YT... bullshit, sir. BULLSHIT.
mathowie, jessamyn, and ZachsMind all have uploaded video... Plus that Aussie woman who wanted postcards... and the scary dude with the Metafilter t-shirt on.
Who else has moving pictures? Fess up.
posted by chuckdarwin at 8:49 AM on July 2, 2007
mathowie, jessamyn, and ZachsMind all have uploaded video... Plus that Aussie woman who wanted postcards... and the scary dude with the Metafilter t-shirt on.
Who else has moving pictures? Fess up.
posted by chuckdarwin at 8:49 AM on July 2, 2007
You silly early adapters!
I will happily wait a year or so when prices will be down, bugs will be worked out, and features will be NEW! and IMPROVED!
posted by konolia at 8:56 AM on July 2, 2007
I will happily wait a year or so when prices will be down, bugs will be worked out, and features will be NEW! and IMPROVED!
posted by konolia at 8:56 AM on July 2, 2007
Adopters. If he was an early adapter, he'd have figured a way to handle it not working.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:06 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Dave Faris at 9:06 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]
Who else has moving pictures? Fess up.
chrismear has that great Thou Shalt Not Filter one, plus a short YouTube one in which he takes off his glasses and then puts them back on. It's must see YT.
I have one too, but I don't take anything off.
posted by iconomy at 9:09 AM on July 2, 2007
chrismear has that great Thou Shalt Not Filter one, plus a short YouTube one in which he takes off his glasses and then puts them back on. It's must see YT.
I have one too, but I don't take anything off.
posted by iconomy at 9:09 AM on July 2, 2007
I have one too, but I don't take anything off.
well you don't have much on to begin with...
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:12 AM on July 2, 2007
well you don't have much on to begin with...
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:12 AM on July 2, 2007
True, but it I was trying to even out my tan while I was washing my car. It's not nsfw though (I don't think?).
posted by iconomy at 9:17 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by iconomy at 9:17 AM on July 2, 2007
“You silly early adapters!”
Yeah, they're evolutionary.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:21 AM on July 2, 2007
Yeah, they're evolutionary.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:21 AM on July 2, 2007
That axe must be sharp enough by now.
Here's my pretend video of me, but it's not really me, but I'm gonna pretend it's me, even though it has nothing whatsoever to do with me.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:24 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]
Here's my pretend video of me, but it's not really me, but I'm gonna pretend it's me, even though it has nothing whatsoever to do with me.
posted by Dave Faris at 9:24 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]
You know when they train animals to do something for a reward then take the stimulus away and the animal compulsively keeps doing whatever it was to keep getting a reward that doesn't come? Apple are like cruel labmasters.
Ha! Yes, touchscreening apparently has a long behavioral extinction curve.
posted by CKmtl at 9:35 AM on July 2, 2007
Ha! Yes, touchscreening apparently has a long behavioral extinction curve.
posted by CKmtl at 9:35 AM on July 2, 2007
Goes back to those early days in the African desert with the Monolith.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:37 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:37 AM on July 2, 2007
Oh, man, cue the clever and slickly produced and utterly, utterly sacriligious Kubrickian iPhone ad. Dear Apple: do not make this commercial, and send me a check if you do.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:38 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:38 AM on July 2, 2007
Weird, I was going to take the scene when the apes approach the monolith and paste an iPhone over it, followed by Moonwatcher bashing the skeleton which would then cut to Matt's vid, but ignorance and laziness demaded I just tack the dramatic squirrel onto the end instead.
PS. Matt didn't approve the comment I left on his video crowing about how my two cans and a piece of string were working perfectly. Who does he think he is, LifeHacker?!?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:08 AM on July 2, 2007
PS. Matt didn't approve the comment I left on his video crowing about how my two cans and a piece of string were working perfectly. Who does he think he is, LifeHacker?!?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:08 AM on July 2, 2007
Dave Faris writes "I have a little trouble working up any sympathy for a guy whose $600 cell phone won't work."
So how much (or how little) would it have to cost for sympathy? Would you feel sorrier for a person whose $1 cell phone didn't work? Is it some bell-curve thing, with sympathy minimized at the "found phone free on curb" and "1 billion dollar cell-phone" ends, and maxed somewhere in-between?
Personally, I'd probably feel sorriest for someone whose $137.62 cell phone didn't work. That's the sweet spot for my sympathy. With a weird band of "no sympathy" between $192.17 and $192.46.
posted by Bugbread at 10:14 AM on July 2, 2007 [6 favorites]
So how much (or how little) would it have to cost for sympathy? Would you feel sorrier for a person whose $1 cell phone didn't work? Is it some bell-curve thing, with sympathy minimized at the "found phone free on curb" and "1 billion dollar cell-phone" ends, and maxed somewhere in-between?
Personally, I'd probably feel sorriest for someone whose $137.62 cell phone didn't work. That's the sweet spot for my sympathy. With a weird band of "no sympathy" between $192.17 and $192.46.
posted by Bugbread at 10:14 AM on July 2, 2007 [6 favorites]
That really underscores the need for sympathy gap insurance, bugbread.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:18 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:18 AM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]
I guess I draw the line at the starving kids in Darfur who have to sell their iphones in order to eat.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:21 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by Dave Faris at 10:21 AM on July 2, 2007
Dave Faris writes "I guess I draw the line at the starving kids in Darfur who have to sell their iphones in order to eat."
I have a little trouble working up any sympathy for a kid in Darfur with a $600 iphone.
posted by Bugbread at 11:01 AM on July 2, 2007
I have a little trouble working up any sympathy for a kid in Darfur with a $600 iphone.
posted by Bugbread at 11:01 AM on July 2, 2007
But for 4.36 shareholders therein your heart would melt, natch.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:08 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:08 AM on July 2, 2007
My IPhone does nothing but replay this video of a guy trying to tell me something in an alien language. Here, I uploaded it to YouTube.
posted by vacapinta at 11:10 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by vacapinta at 11:10 AM on July 2, 2007
Actually, cortex, I think the video should be the apes coming upon the weird iPhone Monolith with the dramatic music. Then silence. Then the iPhone would ring, sending the apes into a murderous frenzy. The iPhone continues ringing as the apes tear each other apart, with blood and fur flying everywhere. Then silence.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:21 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:21 AM on July 2, 2007
Such a shiny new toy and it doesnt even work.
just wait until he figures out how crappy AT&T can be.
posted by krautland at 11:51 AM on July 2, 2007 [3 favorites]
just wait until he figures out how crappy AT&T can be.
posted by krautland at 11:51 AM on July 2, 2007 [3 favorites]
I have no sympathy for any of you. My cell phone has a rotary dial and uses pulse.
posted by absalom at 11:52 AM on July 2, 2007
posted by absalom at 11:52 AM on July 2, 2007
Ethereal Bligh writes "The iPhone continues ringing as the apes tear each other apart, with blood and fur flying everywhere. Then silence."
Then silence...as the apes try repeatedly to answer the phone by pressing the "answer" icon, but are stymied by the fact that the touch-screen is apparently broken.
posted by Bugbread at 11:55 AM on July 2, 2007
Then silence...as the apes try repeatedly to answer the phone by pressing the "answer" icon, but are stymied by the fact that the touch-screen is apparently broken.
posted by Bugbread at 11:55 AM on July 2, 2007
I never noticed before, but #1 is pretty damn cute.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:05 PM on July 2, 2007
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:05 PM on July 2, 2007
My cell phone has a rotary dial and uses pulse.
I have no sympathy for you absalom. My cell phone comes in a giant box, and requires my assistant to hold up two metal poles to the line.
posted by drezdn at 1:06 PM on July 2, 2007
I have no sympathy for you absalom. My cell phone comes in a giant box, and requires my assistant to hold up two metal poles to the line.
posted by drezdn at 1:06 PM on July 2, 2007
My pattern with new in-gadgets or fads is to avoid them for years lest people think I'm jumping on the bandwagon, and then purchase said item and become almost psychotically obsessed with it, ranting and raving about it to anyone who will listen, only to have them roll their eyes and tell me that, yes, the gadget/game/band/tv show/movie was pretty cool eight years ago.
I did feel sorry for Matt. Not so much because of his bum iphone, as that genuinely sad dejected look in his eyes. I imagine he'll look the same way when Fiona goes off to college.
posted by Devils Slide at 1:27 PM on July 2, 2007
I did feel sorry for Matt. Not so much because of his bum iphone, as that genuinely sad dejected look in his eyes. I imagine he'll look the same way when Fiona goes off to college.
posted by Devils Slide at 1:27 PM on July 2, 2007
No, the look in his eyes when Fiona goes off to college will be a combination of "How much money is this costing us?" and "Awesome. Spare room."
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:34 PM on July 2, 2007
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:34 PM on July 2, 2007
"How much money is this costing us?"
He might have to postpone the purchase of his iPhone Nano by a few weeks to pay for it.
posted by Dave Faris at 1:55 PM on July 2, 2007
He might have to postpone the purchase of his iPhone Nano by a few weeks to pay for it.
posted by Dave Faris at 1:55 PM on July 2, 2007
Sounds like Dave Faris is having a case of the mondays!
posted by shmegegge at 2:37 PM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by shmegegge at 2:37 PM on July 2, 2007 [1 favorite]
The silicon chip inside my head got switched to overload.
posted by Dave Faris at 2:40 PM on July 2, 2007
posted by Dave Faris at 2:40 PM on July 2, 2007
Word to mathowie for all the Zach Galiafanakis videos. Legend.
posted by ageispolis at 2:43 PM on July 2, 2007
posted by ageispolis at 2:43 PM on July 2, 2007
I imagine he'll look the same way when Fiona goes off to college.
Imagine the look when 16-year-old Fiona comes home late one night... with neu and son-of-minya, and she can't decide who she loves more so she's going to go live with them both for a while, kthxbye.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:03 PM on July 2, 2007
Imagine the look when 16-year-old Fiona comes home late one night... with neu and son-of-minya, and she can't decide who she loves more so she's going to go live with them both for a while, kthxbye.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:03 PM on July 2, 2007
Would someone please link to mathowie's product review?
posted by Cranberry at 3:12 PM on July 2, 2007
posted by Cranberry at 3:12 PM on July 2, 2007
The files are in the computer???
Still can't find a YouTube of that scene.
posted by The Deej at 4:09 PM on July 2, 2007
Still can't find a YouTube of that scene.
posted by The Deej at 4:09 PM on July 2, 2007
The iPhone will do for phones what the iPod did for pods.
(stolen from Daily Show)
posted by The Deej at 4:11 PM on July 2, 2007
(stolen from Daily Show)
posted by The Deej at 4:11 PM on July 2, 2007
Oh, and your favorite radio host is giving away 10 iPhones. Plus paying for the 2 year contract.
posted by The Deej at 4:14 PM on July 2, 2007
posted by The Deej at 4:14 PM on July 2, 2007
I know at least two people who have ordered an Iphone from the US. Iphones will not work here for at least 18 months.
They will probably take it to parties.
Is it still pretentious when they are only pretending they have a phone?
posted by Samuel Farrow at 6:32 PM on July 2, 2007
They will probably take it to parties.
Is it still pretentious when they are only pretending they have a phone?
posted by Samuel Farrow at 6:32 PM on July 2, 2007
A) To the question of pretentiousness: I use my thumb and pinkie in a phone-shape. Verizon only charges me $20/mo for this.
2) Thanks cgc373 for trying to help my "[cue dramatic chipmunk]" meme spontaneously combust. Despite your efforts, I think... it's dead on arrival. [cue dramatic chipmunk]
III) iPhones. Not Iphones, you nInny.
posted by The Deej at 8:02 PM on July 2, 2007
2) Thanks cgc373 for trying to help my "[cue dramatic chipmunk]" meme spontaneously combust. Despite your efforts, I think... it's dead on arrival. [cue dramatic chipmunk]
III) iPhones. Not Iphones, you nInny.
posted by The Deej at 8:02 PM on July 2, 2007
Yesterday I bumped into my first Iphone zombie. You know the way the Blackberry/Treo texting-while-I-walk-across-the-street arseholes gum up the works? Well, based on first impressions, the Iphone Zombie Menace is worse. South of Wall and Broadway is never easy to navigate, but an entire phalanx of people was brought to a halt by this one idiot while he fumbled at his touchscreen, tilting his phone all around, walking slightly slower than a snail. Then he just stopped right in the middle of the road - I guess he was trying to make out the screen keyboard in the sunlight, or maybe shaking it to somehow get a web page to load in something less than two minutes. Anyway, behind him it was like an old Keystone shot as a bunch of people backed up into each other before recalibrating to flock around him. Meanwhile, a line of cabs halted to let him shamble past.
I can't wait to see the perfect storm: arsehole on a Segway, texting on an Iphone, crossing a four-way intersection. I'd love to get a video of that.
posted by meehawl at 7:11 AM on July 3, 2007
I can't wait to see the perfect storm: arsehole on a Segway, texting on an Iphone, crossing a four-way intersection. I'd love to get a video of that.
posted by meehawl at 7:11 AM on July 3, 2007
I can't wait to see the perfect storm: arsehole on a Segway, texting on an Iphone, crossing a four-way intersection. I'd love to get a video of that.
posted by meehawl
Hey, then you would be part of the perfect storm: MeFi geek with digi-cam recording as he thwumps into the Segway-iPhone pileup.
posted by The Deej at 9:47 PM on July 3, 2007
posted by meehawl
Hey, then you would be part of the perfect storm: MeFi geek with digi-cam recording as he thwumps into the Segway-iPhone pileup.
posted by The Deej at 9:47 PM on July 3, 2007
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posted by ShawnString at 8:08 AM on July 2, 2007