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Bestest derail evah?
July 5, 2007 8:37 PM   Subscribe

Thanks, miss lynnster. Are Cadbury sales down yet?
posted by rob511 to MetaFilter-Related at 8:37 PM (179 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

Ok, now I'm confused. Maybe that's cuz I'm high.
posted by chlorus at 8:58 PM on July 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


What's your point, any of you?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:01 PM on July 5, 2007 [4 favorites]


That this thread should be closed, probably.
posted by chlorus at 9:04 PM on July 5, 2007


Your title is "Bestest derail evah?"... How is miss lynnster's comment a derail? She's commenting on something she read in a link in the post.
posted by amyms at 9:04 PM on July 5, 2007


There are some places that bunnies (and women) shouldn't go. I think that's the point. amirite?
posted by who squared at 9:04 PM on July 5, 2007


Imagine two overlapping Venn diagram circles, one labeled "RABBITS" and the other "HUMAN VAGINAS," with the common area labeled "NOOOOOOOOO!"
posted by brain_drain at 9:05 PM on July 5, 2007 [40 favorites]


How the heck is remarking on something in the post a derail?

On preview: DAMNIT amyms!
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 9:05 PM on July 5, 2007


Naw, I'm sober and it makes no sense to me either.
posted by Dagobert at 9:06 PM on July 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


Yeah, well I'm listening to the Ramones and it... er.. yeah it still doesn't make sense.
posted by edgeways at 9:10 PM on July 5, 2007


I think the whole point of this point was to torture the rest of us with a mental image I'D RATHER NOT HAVE THNX.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:11 PM on July 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


Metatalk: What's your point, any of you?
posted by jonmc at 9:13 PM on July 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


? is the new .

?
posted by solotoro at 9:19 PM on July 5, 2007


Dead bunny rabbits? In my vagina?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:27 PM on July 5, 2007


I think the point of this Meta callout is that a thread about the last woman convicted of witchcraft in England was derailed, and amazingly so, by a series of brilliant limmericks (awk! can't spell) about concealing rabbits inside beavers.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:31 PM on July 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


Prediction: MeTa will be closed or posting will be severely restricted, possibly requiring admin approval a la AnonyAskMe, by the end of this year.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:33 PM on July 5, 2007


Prediction: This year, the world will be shamed to learn the warren of rabbits believed to reside in Alvy Ampersand's vagina was really just a little scritchy sand.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:38 PM on July 5, 2007 [2 favorites]


It's more likely than you think.
posted by b1tr0t at 9:42 PM on July 5, 2007 [3 favorites]


This is getting way too real for me.
posted by chlorus at 9:45 PM on July 5, 2007


I, for one, am glad that images are no longer allowed on metafilter at times like these.
posted by sleepy pete at 9:59 PM on July 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


I think the point being obliquely made is that miss lynnster is the coolest thing that has ever happened to MetaFilter, and that we should all take a moment to silently reflect on that.
posted by Meatbomb at 10:00 PM on July 5, 2007 [5 favorites]


Am I confused?
posted by dirigibleman at 10:03 PM on July 5, 2007


It's times like this when I really miss the IMG tag.
posted by who squared at 10:13 PM on July 5, 2007


sort of like a cabbage patch
posted by four panels at 10:19 PM on July 5, 2007


Thank you easter bunny. BOK BOK
posted by oneirodynia at 10:24 PM on July 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm drunk and none of this makes any sense whatsoever.
posted by special-k at 10:26 PM on July 5, 2007


If any of you are female, and not terrible or excruciating, my email is in my profile.
posted by 31d1 at 10:36 PM on July 5, 2007


I'm insane, and all of this makes perfect sense to me.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:37 PM on July 5, 2007


"Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my twat!"

--it's no fair that twat and hat look like they should rhyme in print but really don't.
posted by sourwookie at 10:38 PM on July 5, 2007 [4 favorites]


Are you freakin' kidding me? She beats me by a couple of minutes to a very obscure comment, and she gets MeTa-ed for it?

Oh, that's just not fair, I mean, she already is a super-rock-star. She is talented, smart, everyone likes her, and now she gets accolades for finding a joke I was moments from commenting on myself?

All I can say is that, if there were a god of timing, she must hate me.

Though the conspiracy theorist in me just developed a really interesting concept about miss lynnster and her Time Goddess ways...

But more on that later.

posted by quin at 10:50 PM on July 5, 2007


Twat does rhyme with hat.
posted by tellurian at 10:50 PM on July 5, 2007 [5 favorites]


So sorry, confused MeFites, for trying to allude
And indulge in my curious habit
(With modesty one might expect of a prude)
To eschew overexplicitness, dagnabbit!

KokoRyu has it: miss lynnster's find started
Lim'ricks — tho' not for the fainthearted,
And so I tried an alley, blind yet punny,
Such as "pussy cohabits with ... rabbit."
posted by rob511 at 11:13 PM on July 5, 2007


concealing rabbits inside beavers.

Rhymes with turducken.
posted by davejay at 12:05 AM on July 6, 2007


Twat does rhyme with hat.

Maybe sourwookie is incredibly posh. You can just imagine the Queen saying, 'Charles, stop being such a twart!' at a Royal Garden Party. Either that or he's from Jamaica, where 'twat' probably rhymes with 'cloth', as in 'claat'.
posted by jack_mo at 1:29 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


I feel like I'm witnessing people glorifying someone into a celebrity as part of some ridiculous tree-house* club.

* Dear Matt, can we have an official Mefi treehouse? super please?
posted by spiderskull at 2:15 AM on July 6, 2007


Twat rhymes with hat. Maybe the queen and Mike Skinner were having a pint of Carling?
posted by Methylviolet at 3:17 AM on July 6, 2007


What's this got to do with reducing Cadbury's sales? As opposed to this.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 3:21 AM on July 6, 2007


Yeah. Time for a vacation.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:37 AM on July 6, 2007


how on earth can 'twat' not rhyme with 'hat'?
posted by patricio at 4:08 AM on July 6, 2007


I think mr_crash_davis deserves some love here. His limerick is the one that leads it all off. Shine on you crazy diamond!
posted by OmieWise at 4:13 AM on July 6, 2007


Twat only rhymes with hat if hat rhymes with hot.
posted by emelenjr at 4:20 AM on July 6, 2007 [2 favorites]


This year, the world will be shamed to learn the warren of rabbits believed to reside in Alvy Ampersand's vagina was really just a little scritchy sand.

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. It's like having my own private beach, where ever I go.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:32 AM on July 6, 2007


Sidebar plz!
posted by Wolfdog at 4:50 AM on July 6, 2007

Twat only rhymes with hat if hat rhymes with hot.
By my reckoning, twat rhymes with hat, cat, splat and Yasser Arafat, but not with hot, cot, splot or a lot.

It also rhymes with Bono, but that's another matter.
posted by No Mutant Enemy at 5:01 AM on July 6, 2007


Brits say twat like hat, Americans say twat like hot. Let's call the whole thing off, shall we?
posted by katiecat at 5:04 AM on July 6, 2007


*registers twattr.com*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:13 AM on July 6, 2007 [3 favorites]


Suggested sidebar text: There once was a lady named Toft...
posted by Wolfdog at 5:21 AM on July 6, 2007


Oh, and agreeing with OmieWise, mr_crash_davis's limerick was an absolute classic. Perfect.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:32 AM on July 6, 2007


I think I saw this in "A Very David Cronenberg Easter."
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:56 AM on July 6, 2007 [8 favorites]


rob511 did post a strange sort of flattery
Which henceforth did inspire much caddery
On the subject of bunnies,
and the numerous funnies,
to be made at the expense of female gonadery
posted by googly at 6:31 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


Mmm, fried rabbit twat. The portobello it's OK to like.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 6:40 AM on July 6, 2007


Lapin au foufoune anyone?
posted by Mister_A at 6:44 AM on July 6, 2007


Wow. Just... wow.

Honestly, I'm not sure how anyone could be expected to read that sentence in a link & NOT make a wtf comment. I mean... it's not exactly the kind of fact one is routinely told of. I actually waited about 3 minutes before posting a comment because I had to overcome being stunned.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:52 AM on July 6, 2007


I've always thought twat rhymed with snot.
posted by EarBucket at 6:56 AM on July 6, 2007


Tastes like chicken.
posted by Mister_A at 6:58 AM on July 6, 2007


You are correct, EarBucket. Somebody let the British loose again last night, but they have now been corralled. Everything will be ok.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:04 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


By the way... I've had a really crap week (mom in the hospital) and reading this MeTa & the post comments had me laughing so hard I was crying. Seriously, I never thought I'd thank people for a MeTa callout, but... thank you guys. Lordy, that was a good laugh & I really needed it.

And mr_crash_davis? Stay classy. Preferably in limerick form. :)
posted by miss lynnster at 7:10 AM on July 6, 2007


You mean twatter.org/ ?
posted by yeti at 7:10 AM on July 6, 2007


That thread is nothing without pictures.
posted by purephase at 7:24 AM on July 6, 2007


See, miss lynnster: it's like Pacino in Godfather III. You try to get out, and they keep pulling you back in!!!!

D
posted by The Deej at 7:27 AM on July 6, 2007


Condo For Sale:
3 br, 1-1/2 bath, 2-car vagina, laundry hookups.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:34 AM on July 6, 2007


(Advance apologies)

That's what I call a harey snatch.

(Profuse post-comment apologies.)
posted by The Deej at 7:36 AM on July 6, 2007


Jesus, ya'll are sexist! If it was a dude sticking his pecker in a frozen chicken, ya'll be all for it!
posted by absalom at 7:52 AM on July 6, 2007


Yeah, I know Deej... I caved in & only came in here for like 15 minutes yesterday. And trouble ensues!
posted by miss lynnster at 7:52 AM on July 6, 2007


Yea, verily, mighty is the power thou wieldest.
posted by The Deej at 7:58 AM on July 6, 2007


Prediction: MeTa will be closed or posting will be severely restricted, possibly requiring admin approval a la AnonyAskMe, by the end of this year.

Heavens to murgatroid!
posted by kosem at 8:02 AM on July 6, 2007


"Flashlight? If we could find my keys we could drive on out of here."
posted by OmieWise at 8:10 AM on July 6, 2007


Do ants see us as skyscrapers? Are valleys of gout between tiles like mighty mountains to them? Are crumbs of pot-pie and drops of cordial like dinner plate sized meals and jumbo squishies? What about miniature hot dogs. To ants, are they full sized?

I
posted by oxford blue at 8:19 AM on July 6, 2007


You try to get out, and they keep pulling you back in!!!!

That's what the rabbit said.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:28 AM on July 6, 2007


Suggested neologism: snutch
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:35 AM on July 6, 2007 [3 favorites]


LOLVAGINAZ!!!
posted by rocket88 at 8:38 AM on July 6, 2007


(())_(()) DO
( o . o ) NOT
(..)_(..) WANT
(...)(...)
posted by dismas at 8:40 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


OH HAI
I IS LONELI IN THIS HARE VAJINA
posted by scody at 8:44 AM on July 6, 2007 [2 favorites]


Metatalk, you perplex me sometimes.
And by sometimes I mean most times.
And by most times I mean almost every time.
Thank you.
posted by dersins at 8:52 AM on July 6, 2007


MetaTalk, you perplex me sometimes
With callouts for trivial crimes
So I'm pleased that today
This fine thread came our way
Celebrating the bunny-snatch rhymes
posted by Wolfdog at 8:58 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


miss lynnster strengthened the Meta-economy
By birthing a mega-LOLBUNNY!!!
Aborting the banal
From her Eerie canal
And founding a Leporidae colony.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:04 AM on July 6, 2007 [4 favorites]


Pets or Meat!
posted by jrossi4r at 9:05 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


Does it make me weird that I'd heard of folks hiding rabbits in their twats well before this thread? Like, when I was in middle school and obsessed with the Salem Witch Trials and all things witches? I mean, in context in makes sense. I wasn't shocked at all. (yes, it is wierd, but, whatever).
posted by misanthropicsarah at 9:06 AM on July 6, 2007


Does it make me weird that I'd heard of folks hiding rabbits in their twats well before this thread?

Yes. On the other hand, I remember that too. Growing up in MA the Salem Witch thing was always with us.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:13 AM on July 6, 2007


Tartsky and Snutch, featuring the 30-Second Bunnies Theatre Troupe.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 9:32 AM on July 6, 2007


You know, these limericks over a nice walking bass line...hmm. Extremely hmm.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:38 AM on July 6, 2007


Hop to it, cortex.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:59 AM on July 6, 2007


I read today on the Filter
That Mary's rabbit had filled 'er
It caused great concern
To whom could I turn?
Rector? Damned nearly kilter.
posted by allen.spaulding at 10:00 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


I fully expect a blog to appear with links for PayPal donations and tag lines such as "Help me raise 10K or the bunny goes into the snatch" or "Raise money to help me keep my bunny in my vagina".
posted by sephira at 10:18 AM on July 6, 2007


Now in Broad Way, The Vagina Monologues, starring Bugs Bunny.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:22 AM on July 6, 2007


"My vagina was my burrow"

My vagina was pink, fur soft clover fields, doe cooing, sun resting, sweet jackrabbit munching lightly on soft piece of blonde straw.

There is something between my legs. I do not know what it is. I do not know where it is. I do not touch. Not now. Not anymore. Not since.

My vagina was hippity-hoppity, can’t wait, so much, so much pellet-chewing, dirt-thumping, can’t quit nibbling, can’t quit saying, oh yes, oh yes.

Not since I dream there’s a dead animal sewn in down there with thick black fishing line. And the bad dead animal smell cannot be removed. And its throat is slit and it bleeds through all my summer dresses.

My vagina singing all bunny songs, all fresh grass songs, all wild autumn carrot songs, vagina songs, vagina warren songs.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:32 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


Not Today, Little One.
posted by Nabubrush at 10:40 AM on July 6, 2007


This was totally worth the five bucks.
posted by CooterBunny at 10:43 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


By the way, for those of you who didn't find it, here is the illustration tha people have been waxing poetic about.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:44 AM on July 6, 2007


Beware the hairy hare down there. The hoary hairy hare down there.
Where lies the hare? Over there.
Over there? The hoary hare?
No.
By the stair? O where, O where?
Not by the stair, nor over there.
Seek the hairy hare down there.
The hoary hairy hare down there.
posted by Mister_A at 10:46 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


You're all going to hell. Bunny hell.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:57 AM on July 6, 2007


Bunny Heaven: Where there's a bunny for every cooter.
posted by CooterBunny at 11:22 AM on July 6, 2007


Aaaaaaand... a username is born!
posted by miss lynnster at 11:24 AM on July 6, 2007


Monty: [reading sign on cottage door] "Here. Hare. Here."
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 11:33 AM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


Sounds like we have theme for the next MetaMusic competition...
posted by LordSludge at 11:42 AM on July 6, 2007


Here's a higher res image. You know, for your wallpaper or something.

My favorite from the image: "An Occult Philosopher searching into the Depth of things."
posted by yeti at 11:56 AM on July 6, 2007


HOW IS BABBY FORMED
posted by thirteenkiller at 11:57 AM on July 6, 2007


HOW IS BABBY FORMED
HOW GIRL GET PRAGNENT

posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:00 PM on July 6, 2007


"Here. Hare. Here."

Good old Jake.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:04 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


Yay, Burhanistan is back!
posted by Mister_A at 12:33 PM on July 6, 2007


I ponder her tactics ... the carrot or the stick.
posted by phoque at 12:37 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


*backs slowly away from MeFi*
posted by Tehanu at 12:59 PM on July 6, 2007


It is times like this that I am deeply, thoroughly grateful for the ban on images.
posted by signal at 1:15 PM on July 6, 2007


Don't tell anyone, Mister A. I'm not really reading the site.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:17 PM on July 6, 2007


HOW IS BABBY FORMED

Bunny in the oven.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:19 PM on July 6, 2007


I never read the site; it's write-only for me.
posted by Mister_A at 1:38 PM on July 6, 2007


I love this new handle so much I'm abandoning my old one and building a totally new MeFi persona.

It will be the NEW ME!
posted by CooterBunny at 1:58 PM on July 6, 2007


This bunny... it gestates?
posted by brundlefly at 2:01 PM on July 6, 2007


Do bunnies have clitorises? (clitori?)
posted by Burhanistan at 2:02 PM on July 6, 2007


Clitorides.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:02 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


Who was the old you, CooterBunny?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:03 PM on July 6, 2007


"Who was the old you, CooterBunny?"

PeterRabbit.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:07 PM on July 6, 2007


Who was the old you, CooterBunny?

boot 'er cunny
posted by phoque at 2:16 PM on July 6, 2007



"My vagina was pink, fur soft clover fields, doe cooing, sun resting, sweet jackrabbit munching lightly on soft piece of blonde straw."

Ambrosia gave me a boner. Advise?
posted by vronsky at 2:17 PM on July 6, 2007


Be very ashamed.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:19 PM on July 6, 2007


That thread still isn't on the sidebar. We've had more than a month of HEY GOLDFISH DROWN IN THEIR OWN PISS U KNOW? You could throw me a bone here.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:33 PM on July 6, 2007


I never read the site; it's write-only for me.

You do not appear to be the only person for whom this is true.
posted by Nabubrush at 2:35 PM on July 6, 2007


posted by Ambrosia Voyeur My vagina was pink, fur soft clover fields, doe cooing, sun resting, sweet jackrabbit munching lightly on soft piece of blonde straw

WABBIT SEASON!
posted by fandango_matt at 2:43 PM on July 6, 2007


Hey WolfDog, well... maybe you should just go buy a chess set at Sears on your way to be a contestant on a Debbie Matenopoulos reality show with your girlfriend and some bunnies and then compile a U2 video of the whole thing?

Seriously, that might help.
posted by miss lynnster at 2:44 PM on July 6, 2007


You could throw me a bone here.
I believe Vronsky has one seeing little use.
posted by Abiezer at 2:46 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


Lapin in lap
posted by emelenjr at 2:58 PM on July 6, 2007


I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Emma Donghue's The Woman Who Gave Birth to Rabbits yet, which is the name of the short story (and a collection of short stories) published in 2002.
posted by jokeefe at 3:05 PM on July 6, 2007


Do bunnies have clitorises?

Effects of estrogen on nitric oxide synthase and histological composition in the rabbit clitoris and vagina
posted by KokuRyu at 3:06 PM on July 6, 2007


Whoops. That's Donoghue.
posted by jokeefe at 3:06 PM on July 6, 2007


I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Emma Donghue . . .

What color was that?
posted by Nabubrush at 3:46 PM on July 6, 2007


How strange the whim came upon her
To thus risk besmirching her honor
But Ms. Toft had determined
To give birth to vermin
And was ultimately proven a conner.
posted by misha at 3:57 PM on July 6, 2007


you know, in case you all wanted an update on how the thread was going over there...
posted by misha at 3:58 PM on July 6, 2007


Didn't expect that to happen to my post.
Thought I'd get a dozen comments at most,
But I come back from work,
The thread's gone berserk,
And the site's in cooterbunnies engrossed.
posted by Kattullus at 4:22 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


Well, if nothing else, today certainly has helped me separate mefites into understands-rhythm and doesn't-understand-rhythm categories.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:30 PM on July 6, 2007 [3 favorites]


You're welcome for all of the favorites, Kattallus. :)

Hey... why has nobody done a haiku, though?

Ignore the doorbell.
Mary is not welcome here.
Bunnies stained the couch.

posted by miss lynnster at 5:30 PM on July 6, 2007


Some's doggerel (cf. "Welcome Back, Kotter"),
Some's clever (hat rhymed with twat); her
Choice of pet husbandry
Shocked Country Coventry,
And inspired Miss B.A. "Tricks" Potter.
posted by rob511 at 5:46 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


uhhh, that s/b "County" (with an o)
posted by rob511 at 5:48 PM on July 6, 2007


Thanks for the favorites, miss lynnster
(Christ, I can't think of a rhyme other than 'spinster'),
with your Midas-like touch
for making threads much
better, I'm sure you'll end your life an old legend

wolfdog: irregular rhythm makes poems more conversational, less ratatat ratatat.
posted by Kattullus at 6:41 PM on July 6, 2007


And what's your excuse for Scotland / Pot and / worsened?
posted by Wolfdog at 6:45 PM on July 6, 2007


If we truly prized learning, my son,
We'd study the wit of John Donne.
Instead we crack wise
'Bout Toft's bunniful thighs —
And call Updike's jet "Wabbit One."
posted by rob511 at 6:46 PM on July 6, 2007


Er, it's not clear because it's text here, but I'm really not trying to be snobby about limericks of all things, just ribbing a bit.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:47 PM on July 6, 2007


Is this where we share poetry? Get out your snappin' fingers.

New York TIMES?!
New York TIMES?!
You think you're better than us?
Us?
U.S.?
U.S.A.?
No way!

Thank you.
posted by The Deej at 6:47 PM on July 6, 2007


brain_drain: Imagine two overlapping Venn diagram circles, one labeled "RABBITS" and the other "HUMAN VAGINAS," with the common area labeled "NOOOOOOOOO!"

I thought the overlapping area was called "Hugh Hefner publications". Same difference, I suppose.
posted by WPW at 6:58 PM on July 6, 2007


Hey, some asshole recorded some of these!
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:14 PM on July 6, 2007


Ya know, cortex, if you get over your shyness you'll be ok.
posted by The Deej at 7:17 PM on July 6, 2007


Thanks for the favorites, miss lynnster
(Christ, I can't think of a rhyme other than 'spinster'),
with your Midas-like touch
for making threads much
better, I'm sure you'll end your life an old legend


Okay... soooooo... in appreciation I'm trying to concentrate on the nicey nice thank you Midas touch part of that rhyme. And not the part about me ending my life as an old legendary spinster. Because... man! Ouch! I think I'd rather be told I'm about to birth rabbits of my vajayjay...
posted by miss lynnster at 8:07 PM on July 6, 2007


Ms. Toft's infamous mustn't-touch-it
converts to a fine rabbit hutch; it
holds Volkswagen gear,
axles front and rear,
calipers, brakes and a clutch kit.
posted by fish tick at 8:24 PM on July 6, 2007


Thanks for the favorites miss lynnster
whose favorite book was Bend Sinister

or,

who adored the work of Howard Finster

You just didn't try very hard dude.
posted by vronsky at 8:34 PM on July 6, 2007


I was actually quite fond of Howard Finster.
He was a charmingly artistic minister.
He liked to paint Elvis
although that boy shook his pelvis
in a way that most ministers thought sinister.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:09 PM on July 6, 2007 [1 favorite]


Thanks for the links miss lynnster
who was so freakin hot my eye's blister
i checked her snutch for bunnies
but didn't see any
now if i only had the nerve to kiss her
posted by vronsky at 9:19 PM on July 6, 2007


goddamn apostrophe's, how I loathe thee
posted by vronsky at 9:24 PM on July 6, 2007


You might've crossed a snutch line there.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:29 PM on July 6, 2007


ok, my turn. here goes:

a lover of toft had a whinge:
said "honey, i don't mean to impinge
on your lifestyle of choice,
but i must raise my voice
when there's a bunny holed up in your minge"
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:06 AM on July 7, 2007


Okay... soooooo... in appreciation I'm trying to concentrate on the nicey nice thank you Midas touch part of that rhyme. And not the part about me ending my life as an old legendary spinster. Because... man! Ouch! I think I'd rather be told I'm about to birth rabbits of my vajayjay...

The joke wasn't supposed to be that you'll end up an old legendary spinster, but that I couldn't write a limerick. I see now, reading it with the benefit of hindsight and 11 hours of sleep, my intent got buried under poor execution. I apologize.
posted by Kattullus at 6:24 AM on July 7, 2007


It's okay. I was teasing, kiddo. :)

Although when you're 40 and single... spinster jokes hit a little too close to home. Thank God I'm allergic to cats.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:33 AM on July 7, 2007


Good news miss lynnster!! They make hypoallergenic cats now!!!

You're welcome!!!
posted by The Deej at 10:03 AM on July 7, 2007


You know what amazes me? Metafilter is like an entire colony of joke killers. You know them, those people who see someone do something really funny and get a laugh and then they do it immediately after because they don't get that a joke's funny the first time but not the millionth. They're the guys who will spend the next 6 months trying over and over again to use the joke in various circumstances to see if they can suss out exactly how it can be a solid gold winner like it was that first time. And then eventually you want to throttle them and scream "Fucking stop! You killed the joke! No one will ever laugh at it again because they're tired of hearing you do it! It's done! Give up!" Yeah, metafilter is that guy times 50,000. It's the guy who still does Ace Ventura impressions and waits for a laugh.
posted by shmegegge at 12:00 PM on July 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


You killed the joke!

Oooo!!! Oooo!!! We have our next meme!!!

"Hey, I got a plate of beans for you to look at!"

"You killed the joke!"

Think I can get a good 50-60 thousand uses out of that!
posted by The Deej at 12:05 PM on July 7, 2007


Every time you kill a joke, a plate of masturbating beans begins to vibrate so that it kills God's one of circumcised kittens and reincarnates them as Hitler.

There, now never speak of any of the aforementioned again.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:28 PM on July 7, 2007


You forgot to mention that Hitler was riding a dressage horse at the time.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:46 PM on July 7, 2007


Oh, and he was carrying a weapon. (But it was okay because he wasn't at his place of business.)
posted by miss lynnster at 12:48 PM on July 7, 2007


You forgot to mention that Hitler...

Thread over, man, thread over!!!!
posted by The Deej at 12:48 PM on July 7, 2007


That's way over the line miss lynnster. Dressage is a huge taboo here.
posted by Mister_A at 12:50 PM on July 7, 2007


Apparently the rabbit didn't die.
posted by matty at 1:54 PM on July 7, 2007


Miss Lynnster the queen of the thread
Was lonely one night in her bed
She thought it'd be funny
To play with her bunny
But dreamt of vronsky instead;)
posted by vronsky at 4:29 PM on July 7, 2007


Vronsky? Yer creepin' me out.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:01 PM on July 7, 2007


:: shudder ::
"creep" is a mild word.
:: shudder ::
posted by The Deej at 5:22 PM on July 7, 2007


just riffin miss l, nothin personal:)

and those two creeped you out?? did you read the others?
posted by vronsky at 5:32 PM on July 7, 2007


ok - reread them and sorry if I was tone deaf there, but a) I meant "miss lynnster" in a generic way, honest b) I was the one trying to change the word spinster for you cuz I thought your feelings may have been hurt, and c) didn't you start the whole rabbit/vajayjay thing anyway?


vronsky you big dumb creep
i'd like to run over you with my jeep
your metatalk riffs
(enhanced by some spliffs)
have put everyone soundly to sleep


vronsky offended miss l
she wanted him to burn in hell
but his deft explanation
and swift reparations
made everything turn out swell

(stop me before I rhyme again)
posted by vronsky at 6:08 PM on July 7, 2007


I meant "miss lynnster" in a generic way, honest

What on earth does that mean, other than "miss lynnster is pretty generic"?
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:32 PM on July 7, 2007


Wait. miss lynnster is Pretty_Generic?
posted by kindall at 6:40 PM on July 7, 2007


or pretty vacant! high five!

sorry miss l, riffing again, forgive me?
posted by vronsky at 6:42 PM on July 7, 2007


Uh oh. My cover is blown. Dammit.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:42 PM on July 7, 2007


You killed the joke, vronsky.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:43 PM on July 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Darn it to heck! I'd written an epic, epic, comment riffing on the pretty_generic thing, and then you had go and declare the joke killed, UbuRoivas, you... you... killjoke you!
posted by Kattullus at 6:47 PM on July 7, 2007


Sorry. I had to kill the joke to save myself.

A jokey rewriting of "stop me if you think that you've heard this rhyme before" was causing me untold problems.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:54 PM on July 7, 2007


wait wait wait, I re-re read the thread. You post a picture of a woman birthing rabbits, say "bunnies stained the couch", and imply that Harry Potter and Malfoy are SO GAY, and my snutch comment creeped you out?!? I am the one creeped out, and I retract my apology. Hmphh to you miss l. Hypocrite!
posted by vronsky at 8:07 PM on July 7, 2007


Wow, I never realized Cortex did Christopher Walken impressions. That's scary.

thanks for including mine : )
posted by misha at 8:07 PM on July 7, 2007


Well, incredibly icky comments are made about other people I don't know all the time on here. And hey, that can be funny. 'Cuz it's an abstract thing... I mean, this Mary woman's been dead for hundreds of years and ADMITTED TO SHOVING RABBITS IN HER HOOHAH. Sooo, she kinda earned some snark.

The creepy factor automatically goes up when they're written with ME as the subject, though... DUH! That doesn't make sense to you?
posted by miss lynnster at 8:51 PM on July 7, 2007


Well I also said you're so freakin hot my eyes blister (and changed spinster to Finster) and I don't have a clue what you look like, so uh, maybe I was just playin you know. And "abstract" is what I meant by "generic". You really couldn't have thought I was being serious, could you?

And I have never been anything but ultra-nice and complimentary to you in the past, so maybe cut me some slack? You were the one who ignored my apology and I really don't want to fight with you cuz up to now we have been friends and you sing like an angel.

So apology reinstated, I humbly beg your forgiveness if I in any way offended you or besmirched your honor. I remain forever your humble servant and fanboy... now kiss me you fool.
posted by vronsky at 9:23 PM on July 7, 2007


Vronsky, you don't have a chance. Watch out for this in your dreams.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:35 PM on July 7, 2007


whoah shit b-han, thanks for the nightmares. Is that the freaky genetics dog from the Hulk?
posted by vronsky at 10:17 PM on July 7, 2007


If I hippity-hop in and creep everybody out, left and right, do I get more or less boner points, vronsky? Just thought I'd bring the cunny bunny squicktown revue up to the present.

all links NSFW
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:32 PM on July 7, 2007


silly question AV... you always get boner points from me cuz you were one of my first friends on mefi and you're smart and cool and stuff. Afraid to click on links though. Because I never want to see another rabbit or vajayjay again... wait, I never want to see another rabbit again.
posted by vronsky at 11:02 PM on July 7, 2007


ok, that blow up bunny is the funniest thing I have ever seen, and oddly enough, this is the exact shape and color of my penis. No wonder chicks dig me.

sleep now to dream of thumper and bambi and b-han's freaky dog.
posted by vronsky at 11:29 PM on July 7, 2007


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