Zombies vs. bears vs. monkeys

August 10, 2007 8:36 AM

This is a great question but it didn't include the obligatory "For the purposes of a work of fiction..." disclaimer to keep it from being deleted as hypothetical filter.
posted by allkindsoftime to Etiquette/Policy at 8:36 AM (29 comments total)

Can that disclaimer not be mentally inserted by you or anyone else who is having a spasm of anxiety about this incredibly important issue?
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:42 AM on August 10, 2007 [3 favorites]

So?
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:42 AM on August 10, 2007

There's a disclaimer saying it's to help make his art more recognizable.

And it's not deleted, so there's not a problem but you're posting about it in MetaTalk why exactly?
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:43 AM on August 10, 2007

It's not a hypothetical question, it's a practical one.

"How can I recognize a Porsche Boxster when I see one?"

"Is this spider a Brown recluse?"

"How can I tell when Bloom is talking in Ulysses?"

"What are the visual cues that distinguish chickens from pheasants?"

"What visual traits identify zombies?"
posted by OmieWise at 8:43 AM on August 10, 2007 [6 favorites]

Who says it's for a work of fiction?
posted by amro at 8:46 AM on August 10, 2007 [3 favorites]

That's really not a hypothetical question, even without the disclaimer. Zombies are well established in popular culture. There are many, many reasons someone might really want to know what the most commonly used visual clues film makers use to signal "This is a zombie".

(Also, you seemed to miss the part where ikkyu2 did include a disclaimer, of sorts: "if I were drawing a zombie ...")
posted by skynxnex at 8:47 AM on August 10, 2007

Yeah, the question would be just as good if asking about actually-describable traits of any other iconic thing, fictional or otherwise: substitute "vampire" or "fire hydrant" or whatever to see it continue to work.

If he'd asked for the purposes of training his AI security camera to send up perimeter warnings at the compound, maybe we'd be looking at it differently.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:48 AM on August 10, 2007

This post isn't art. So I feel free to ask, what's the point of this post?
posted by oddman at 8:49 AM on August 10, 2007

How can I recognize posts that I should callout?
posted by blue_beetle at 8:52 AM on August 10, 2007 [3 favorites]

I don't think you understand the rules that you are complaining about them not following.
posted by smackfu at 8:54 AM on August 10, 2007

Well, not even complaining, just musing upon for no apparent reason.
posted by smackfu at 8:55 AM on August 10, 2007

Yeah, the question would be just as good if asking about actually-describable traits of any other iconic thing, fictional or otherwise: substitute "vampire" or "fire hydrant" or whatever to see it continue to work.

Thank you, cortex, you've illustrated quite clearly what I was getting at.

So, *if* I were making a work of art about the world once humans are gone, and bears battle monkeys for world domination, and I wanted to make it a little more realistic...

Who would win?
posted by allkindsoftime at 8:56 AM on August 10, 2007

Get out of here you dork.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:59 AM on August 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Given that everyone else is already giving you heat for the rest of your question, I'll ask you about the part that bugs me:

This is a great question

Really? A great question?
posted by micayetoca at 9:04 AM on August 10, 2007

I'm not sure if you're kidding there, allkindsoftime. Assuming you're not, and you're trying to suggest that bear vs. monkey speculation is equivilant to ikkyu2's question, please read skynxnex's comment above mine.

Zombies, as in things we need to worry about being attacked by, are pretty dang hypothetical, sure. Zombies as cultural icons are not: we can discuss zombies as a work of collective art, and that's exactly what ikkyu2 is asking after.

Strained analogy time: it's something like the distinction between "In what sense, if any, does broccoli have nervous tissue funtionally similar to that in the human CNS?" vs. "What does it feel like to be a broccoli?" The first one is probably answerable from a bio/neuro/physiology perspective; the latter is just nutso crazy hypothetical chatter. ikk's question is much closer to the former.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:09 AM on August 10, 2007

Isn't ikkyu2 a doctor? He's probably asking so if a zombie comes into his office he'll know to bill him directly instead of his insurance company, since zombification is typically not a covered condition.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:15 AM on August 10, 2007 [11 favorites]

Especially since he has since said I wish to photoshop a black and white photograph to make it clearly and immediately identifiable as a zombie version of the famous person it's a photo of. Sounds pretty non-hypothetical to me.

These callouts are getting lamer and lamer.
posted by yhbc at 9:15 AM on August 10, 2007

Strained analogy. About broccoli. Heh.

Point taken.

Some day, in the future, bears vs. monkeys will be an important cultural icon. Then you'll all be sorry.
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:17 AM on August 10, 2007

Isn't ikkyu2 a doctor?

He's a neurologist no less, no? If I were a zombie, I'd go right to the neurologist, who I would assume is likely to have a brain or two lying around his office.
posted by amro at 9:18 AM on August 10, 2007 [7 favorites]

Put another way, seems to me the bear and monkey question is closer to something like "Who would win in a beauty contest, a zombie or Frankenstein's monster."

Actually, it's more like "Who would end up on more magazine covers, zombies or Frankenstein monsters, in a world where the world's photographers had been replaced by werewolves?"
posted by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg at 9:19 AM on August 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Some day, in the future, bears vs. monkeys will be an important cultural icon. Then you'll all be sorry.

If by sorry, you mean overjoyed, then yes. A thousand times, yes.

That said, are we done here?
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:20 AM on August 10, 2007

Really? Well then I get to stick my dick in the mashed potatoes too.
posted by kosem at 9:22 AM on August 10, 2007

Now what do you think is going to happen when I introduce the element of the gerbil to the endothermic heat of Mr. Slave's ass? [7:35]
posted by kosem at 9:23 AM on August 10, 2007

I vote for done. I hope this thread doesn't come back from the dead.
posted by desjardins at 9:23 AM on August 10, 2007

.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:24 AM on August 10, 2007

i like broccoli.
posted by quonsar at 9:28 AM on August 10, 2007

Jesus, this is the fourth AskMe-deletion related MeTa you've posted; might I suggest you append "towaste" to your user name?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:30 AM on August 10, 2007

But what about *time travelling* zombies?
posted by antifuse at 9:30 AM on August 10, 2007

grind, grind, grind. I'm going to close this now, you've really had your day(s) in MetaTalk on this issue.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:35 AM on August 10, 2007 [1 favorite]