lost girl: found! August 17, 2007 2:23 PM   Subscribe

I finally found you, Kelly Shanks -- or, rather, you found me!
posted by grumblebee to MetaFilter-Related at 2:23 PM (99 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

We're always lost and then found and then lost again in this crazy merry go round of space/time.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:25 PM on August 17, 2007




Over a year ago, I posted to AskMe about my search for a girl from my past. This wasn't a romantic search (I'm happily married), but rather a search for someone I knew when I was a kid, almost thirty years ago. Kelly was kind to me at a time when the other kids were mean to me. I was too angry at the time to acknowledge her kindness, but I've always remembered it. And I've always wanted to thank her.

I tried googling her, looking in public records, classmates, etc. No dice. I posted about her here, and many people offered great suggestions. Some even helped me research. Still, nothing turned up.

I finally gave up. Then, fifteen minutes ago, this came into my inbox:

I saw your web posting about me and wanted to respond. What a surprise. I hope that I really was in fact kind to you back in middle school. I don't think of those as my kind years. I remember you well and it's great to see a bit about your life via google search. It sounds like you are happy and doing something that you love. I think it's very funny you have described me as popular in middle school. i am convinced everyone secretly hated middle school and I am very suspicious of those who say they liked it. I felt very anxious and vulnerable in middle school and I'm so happy I never have to be 13 again!! And Indiana was a strange place. I don't really think I thought that then, but what a relief to live on the edge of the country. My husband's family lives in ***** and we have crazy, creepy right wing experiences every time we visit there. I can't imagine what it must have been like to move to Bloomington from Brooklyn!! When did you escape? Do your parents still live there? One of my favorite high school memories is Anthropology class taught by a conservative Christian teacher who said things like, "Buddhists are a very peaceful people, it's too bad they are going to burn in hell." Much nicer to live on the west coast! I hope you are well and this email finds you.

Kelly


So many of you have asked me if I ever found her. I wanted to give you some closure.
posted by grumblebee at 2:25 PM on August 17, 2007


Awwwwwwwww. :')

Thanks. I remember reading that.
posted by The Deej at 2:29 PM on August 17, 2007


Cool story grumblebee.
posted by nola at 2:39 PM on August 17, 2007


incredibly awesome. Please tell her that she's "Metafilter's own Kelly" now.
posted by boo_radley at 2:41 PM on August 17, 2007


[this is awesome]
posted by maudlin at 2:47 PM on August 17, 2007


That's really cool. Thanks for the followup grumblebee.
posted by quin at 3:02 PM on August 17, 2007


So glad you found her!
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:06 PM on August 17, 2007


Congratulations -- what a lovely story. It's a wonderful thing to connect with people who've truly mattered to you but may have never known it.
posted by melissa may at 3:27 PM on August 17, 2007


So... you bought her a membership, right?
posted by klangklangston at 3:31 PM on August 17, 2007


It's nice that she wasn't totally creeped out by your AskMe post.
posted by dhammond at 3:37 PM on August 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


This is the second heartwarming thread (I've seen) associated with you, grumblebee. I just want to put that out there. This is so sweet that it makes me want to dig up people from my past who were beyond nice to me at those times, too.
posted by sneakin at 3:56 PM on August 17, 2007


Yay, that's great!
posted by grouse at 4:02 PM on August 17, 2007


*spews non sequiturs, feels the love*
posted by quonsar at 4:04 PM on August 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


I'm glad you two found each other!

Anyone who helped shape the great Grumblebee is a winner in my book.

Three cheers for Kelly Shanks!!
posted by odi.et.amo at 4:14 PM on August 17, 2007


I hope you asked her permission to post her email here?
posted by empath at 4:16 PM on August 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


*engages in search for long lost quonsar*
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:17 PM on August 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


And despite all the noise and shit people do to each, sometimes we rise above it and connect. Yay!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:30 PM on August 17, 2007


I remember reading that AskMe and wondering later if you ever found her. Thanks for the followup!
posted by gemmy at 4:32 PM on August 17, 2007


Anyone who helped shape the great Grumblebee is a winner in my book.

Well, I actually built grumblebee from a kit in my laboratory when I was 11. Sorry you had to find out this way, dude. But, it's time for your 50,000 mile checkup. Turn your head and cough.
posted by jonmc at 4:37 PM on August 17, 2007


::claps::
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:37 PM on August 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


I remember that post really well and wondered if you'd tracked her down. Thanks for letting us know.
posted by Kangaroo at 4:39 PM on August 17, 2007


I hope you asked her permission to post her email here?

Seconded. If you didn't get her OK, that's really a shithead thing to do, good news or no news.
posted by Peter H at 4:49 PM on August 17, 2007


Never underestimate the power of a woman internet.
posted by Cranberry at 4:50 PM on August 17, 2007


Very cool. Thanks for the update.
posted by oneirodynia at 4:56 PM on August 17, 2007


If you didn't get her OK, that's really a shithead thing to do, good news or no news.

Because asking for a MetaTalk thread without self-righteous abuse is just too much!
posted by grouse at 5:01 PM on August 17, 2007 [4 favorites]


Incredibly awesome +1
posted by loquacious at 5:08 PM on August 17, 2007


This is totally sweet.

HEY KELLY, A COMMUNITY OF THOUSANDS IS WARMING THEIR HEARTS TO YOU

HOW YA LIKE THAT KELLY
posted by Greg Nog at 5:09 PM on August 17, 2007


Great update. Thanks!
posted by scody at 5:14 PM on August 17, 2007


WOO-HOO!!!

I take back everything bad I ever said about you.

I'm really very glad you found each other.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 5:15 PM on August 17, 2007


Now that her name has been posted on a web forum, I'm totally gonna stalk this Kelly creature.
posted by item at 5:20 PM on August 17, 2007


Aww, an entire email bashing the midwest and those who live there. Warms the heart.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 5:56 PM on August 17, 2007


"what a relief to live on the edge of the country"

LOLFLYOVERSTATES
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:57 PM on August 17, 2007


Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I've got family in Indiana, and grew up in the Midwest. If Indiana weren't in the middle of everything, we'd have figured out a way of cauterizing it right on out by now.
posted by klangklangston at 6:15 PM on August 17, 2007


I have family in central Illinois and a cousin in Chattanooga. Sometimes the Midwest can be refreshing. I feel far less pressure to be interesting or whatever around midwesterners.
posted by jonmc at 6:22 PM on August 17, 2007


Neat!
posted by OmieWise at 6:25 PM on August 17, 2007


This is really, really, great. When that AskMe was originally posted I checked back every few days for about three months to see if the connection ever got made. Congrats, and thanks for the follow-up posting!
posted by alms at 6:42 PM on August 17, 2007


Hey- hating people from that fuzzy middle part of the country is what Metafilter is all about.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:45 PM on August 17, 2007 [2 favorites]


Cool! I remember trying to help you out on that question, and I'm really glad to find out the conclusion.
posted by cerebus19 at 6:46 PM on August 17, 2007


Great story :)
posted by amyms at 7:20 PM on August 17, 2007


I just recently (like, in the past couple of weeks) reread that thread for some reason, and I was disappointed that there was no resolution, so I am superglad to see this.

I hope that I really was in fact kind to you back in middle school. I don't think of those as my kind years.

I suspect we can all say that to some extent or another. I think it is fabulous that not only have you expressed your gratitude to this person, but you've likely improved her view of herself at a particularly tricky time of life.

You are a good bee, Mr. Grumble.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:58 PM on August 17, 2007


LOLFLYOVERSTATES

I'll have you know there are at least four very lovely and kind MetaFilter member right smack in the middle of these "flyover states" you speak of. Incredibly friendly and hospitable... Thanks you guys, you know who you are!
posted by Meatbomb at 8:21 PM on August 17, 2007


this post is useless without pictures
posted by terrapin at 8:26 PM on August 17, 2007


That's awesome news, grumblebee! I'm happy you're getting some closure.
posted by deborah at 8:39 PM on August 17, 2007


Wonderful, grumblebee! I'm all warm and fuzzy again from you...I don't know how you keep it up.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 8:43 PM on August 17, 2007


Wow - great story. Glad your search ended so well!
posted by Miko at 9:10 PM on August 17, 2007


I know the midwest bashing is trite and overdone, yadda yadda, but I can sure as heck say that if my memories included "...a conservative Christian teacher who said things like, 'Buddhists are a very peaceful people, it's too bad they are going to burn in hell.' " - I'd feel every right to shit on wherever it is I happened to hail from.
posted by jalexei at 9:11 PM on August 17, 2007


Now that her name has been posted on a web forum, I'm totally gonna stalk this Kelly creature.

Good luck. I still couldn't find her if I wanted to. She emailed ME. I don't even know what state she lives in.

In any case, thanks for all the warm fuzzies, folks.

And she knows about the posts here and doesn't seem to have a problem with it.

I like the idea of a gift membership. I'll find out if she's interested and, if she is, Matt will have another $5.
posted by grumblebee at 9:14 PM on August 17, 2007


I know the midwest bashing is trite and overdone, yadda yadda, but I can sure as heck say that if my memories included "...a conservative Christian teacher who said things like, 'Buddhists are a very peaceful people, it's too bad they are going to burn in hell.' " - I'd feel every right to shit on wherever it is I happened to hail from.

I don't remember that exact teacher, but that sounds about right. We're talking about Indiana in the 70s/80s, though. Obviously, there's still ignorance and prejudice, but I doubt a teacher could get away nowadays with saying some of the stuff I heard when I was a kid.
posted by grumblebee at 9:17 PM on August 17, 2007


This post is useless without pictures

That's me in the early 80s, at the zenith of my nerdiness. I'm the one it the back, wearing the white shirt, holding a stuffed aardvark on someone's head.

One good thing about being a nerdy kid in the 80s, living in a university town: there were college students who would hang out with you. Back then, I thought I was SO mature since they let me visit them. Now, I look back and think why were they hanging out with a 15-year-old kid?
posted by Evangeline at 9:31 PM on August 17, 2007


Damn, that last post was by me, not Evangeline. That's what happens when spouses share a computer.
posted by grumblebee at 9:35 PM on August 17, 2007


That picture is magnificent, grumblebee. It is my memory of the early 80s in grainy, blurred, accurate focus.
posted by Miko at 9:38 PM on August 17, 2007


Yeah: I like the fact that it's blurred. Feels like memory.
posted by grumblebee at 9:40 PM on August 17, 2007


I know the midwest bashing is trite and overdone, yadda yadda, but I can sure as heck say that if my memories included "...a conservative Christian teacher who said things like, 'Buddhists are a very peaceful people, it's too bad they are going to burn in hell.' " - I'd feel every right to shit on wherever it is I happened to hail from.
posted by jalexei


Take one comment from one person and shit on an entire part of the country? That makes perfect sense.

The first time I ever heard the 'n' word was in california. I chose to fault the person, not the state. But your method is interesting.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 9:47 PM on August 17, 2007


Dennis Murphy - she grew up there. Everyone's allowed to diss where they came from. Get over it.
posted by jacalata at 11:38 PM on August 17, 2007


That picture is magnificent, grumblebee. It is my memory of the early 80s in grainy, blurred, accurate focus.

Totally.
posted by amyms at 3:03 AM on August 18, 2007


And, to those who are fretting about the dissing of the "flyover states"... I can assure you that the middle of the country is an oppressive place to grow up (says the girl from Kansas). We natives are the first to diss our homestates, so all you enlightened other-staters don't need to worry about offending us.
posted by amyms at 3:07 AM on August 18, 2007


"the 'n' word"

Nachos?
posted by signal at 6:49 AM on August 18, 2007


Nader.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:12 AM on August 18, 2007 [1 favorite]


"Take one comment from one person and shit on an entire part of the country? That makes perfect sense.

The first time I ever heard the 'n' word was in california. I chose to fault the person, not the state. But your method is interesting."

C'mon. Hoosiers?

THEY ARE A BACKWARDS PEOPLE.

Not like Michigan. Hell, even Ohio's better, and they're all election-stealing retards. But where Ohio's got the fat stupids, those exurban Kraft cheese post-industrial malaise stupids, Indiana's got all of the southern redneck stupids without any of the redeeming qualities of the real, honest-to-goodness south. It is the furthest north Southern state, with all the racism, hypocrisy, intolerance and self-destructive conservatism that that entails. It, like Florida, should be cut off from the rest of the nation and allowed to return to the native peoples or giant rats or quasi-sentient prairie grass or whatever the fuck wants it.
posted by klangklangston at 9:04 AM on August 18, 2007 [6 favorites]


For me, growing up in the midwest was okay.

For me, needlessly taking offense at something totally beside the point of the post is less okay. (There was a run-on sentence too, omg.)
posted by salvia at 9:28 AM on August 18, 2007


I can assure you that the middle of the country is an oppressive place to grow up (says the girl from Kansas).

I grew up in Kansas and I wasn't oppressed. I often think about moving back there.
posted by bingo at 9:48 AM on August 18, 2007


I grew up in Kansas and I side with amyms.
posted by GrammarMoses at 10:55 AM on August 18, 2007


"Take one comment from one person and shit on an entire part of the country? That makes perfect sense."

Dude, it was a throwaway funny comment in a private e-mail between two people. Get over it.
posted by jayder at 11:39 AM on August 18, 2007


Is that picture Note people, GB?

And I have fond recollections of seeing sometime around then wearing a pair of bright-yellow plaid highwaters, white socks, and what I don't recall precisely but which I must fervently hope were green-and-yellow nike-knockoff running shoes. Inspiring.
posted by mwhybark at 12:18 PM on August 18, 2007


D'oh. Read the filename, Mike.

Hello, internets ancestors! Thank you!
posted by mwhybark at 12:20 PM on August 18, 2007


I LIVE IN FLYOVER COUNTRY AND I AM VERY OFFENDED. ALSO FAT.
posted by Kwine at 1:02 PM on August 18, 2007 [3 favorites]


GET OUT NOW!

(But before you do, enjoy good beer and fresh corn. Man, I miss good fresh corn...)
posted by klangklangston at 1:07 PM on August 18, 2007


ohfercrissakes. OFFENSENSITIVE MUCH?

c'mon. i grew up in ohio. klang's right, tho i think he was actually being too nice to ohio. i mean my high school experience consisted of getting called a dyke (and worse) on a regular basis simply because i wore jeans all the time, played soccer and ran cross-country. we had an american history teacher who was CONVINCED custer was a great american hero. our spanish teacher spent entire classes multiple times a week going on and on about her marital problems. i had a sophomore english teacher who couldn't fucking SPELL for crying out loud. need i go on?

rural southern ohio in my formative years was also overrun with the 2 most frightening freakist cults of fundamentalist religion i've ever been exposed to: pentecostals and baptists. there be dragons y'all. those people absolutely believe that ignorance is a holy pass to heaven.
posted by lonefrontranger at 1:38 PM on August 18, 2007


*kicks topic back on rails*

sorry about that. grumblebee lemme be the seventeenth or eighteenth in line to say God Damn that is cool buddy. i remember reading that post and wondering if anything'd come of it.
posted by lonefrontranger at 1:39 PM on August 18, 2007


mwhybark is talking about Note, which was the first message-board he and I were ever on. I was in the early 80s on the Indiana University system. IU had several satellite canvases, so via Note (and something called "mail"), I could go to the computer lab in Bloomington and "talk" to people from South Bend, Indiana and other "far-away" places.

After a while, we started having meetups. That photo is one of them.

The community started to get complex once the meetups started. It was a small group of people, maybe 50 total. They started dating and having very public breakups. It all got very messy.

But I'll never forget my first online experiences -- and my first group of friends who had such odd names: Mr. Taxi, JAD the Romulan Emperor, Samurai Cat, etc.
posted by grumblebee at 2:18 PM on August 18, 2007


How cool. Happy endings are always good ;) Did she say how she came across the post? I wonder if someone alerted her to it, or if she was googling her name, or what...
posted by iconomy at 2:50 PM on August 18, 2007


"klang's right, tho i think he was actually being too nice to ohio. i mean my high school experience consisted of getting called a dyke (and worse) on a regular basis simply because i wore jeans all the time, played soccer and ran cross-country. we had an american history teacher who was CONVINCED custer was a great american hero. our spanish teacher spent entire classes multiple times a week going on and on about her marital problems. i had a sophomore english teacher who couldn't fucking SPELL for crying out loud. need i go on?"

Heh. My mom went to high school in Ohio, and it sounds like the exact same stories she'd tell.
posted by klangklangston at 5:24 PM on August 18, 2007


Damn, that last post was by me, not Evangeline. That's what happens when spouses share a computer.

what? the post in your name was by you & not by your wife? how can we ever trust you again?
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:52 PM on August 18, 2007


No. The post wasn't in my name. It was in my wife's name. But I wrote it. She'd signed into MeFi and I didn't realize the PC was still logged into her account.

How can you ever trust me again? I don't know. I guess I'll have to earn your trust.
posted by grumblebee at 6:30 PM on August 18, 2007


Get off grumblebee's computer, Evangeline! I know it's you!

And for what it's worth, I wonder how many of the popular kids from his school ended up in an apparently very successful marriage with such an accomplished hottie, even if that is a bit of an immature question to ask....
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:21 PM on August 18, 2007


i have quasi-sentient prairie grass. in my socks.
posted by quonsar at 7:37 PM on August 18, 2007


Get over it.
posted by jacalata

Get over it.
posted by jayder


No, YOU get over it. Hey, that was fun.

c'mon. i grew up in ohio.
posted by lonefrontranger


So did several people in this thread who disagreed with you. So who's right? Or maybe there are many different kinds of people in Indiana and you met one kind and they met another.

For me, needlessly taking offense at something totally beside the point of the post is less okay. (There was a run-on sentence too, omg.)
posted by salvia


You can't really moderate a thread, so I couldn't care less if you feel it's ok or not. But in the spirit of saying my piece and letting it go... I'm glad that grumblebee found someone that helped him in his past. I, too, couldn't wait to read the email.

I'm sorry that instead of an uplifting email she came off as bitter, angry, and judgmental. Instead of discussing her memories of grumblebee, she spent the email bashing an entire part of the country.

I know it plays well on metafilter. It's a common hatred that wouldn't be tolerated with many other groups. It doesn't make it right. I'm sorry that she never learned that and probably never will.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 7:47 PM on August 18, 2007


So I take it she won't be wanting an account here, then?
posted by liquorice at 8:04 PM on August 18, 2007


Dennis Murphy, I understand why you feel the way you do, and if you take her words really literally, I guess they are offensive. But to put them in context, she and I -- and almost EVERYONE I know who grew up where we did -- had deadly childhoods. Sure, it's unfair (and inaccurate) to blame a whole region for that, but through the eyes of a child, that's how it felt.

It felt like we were living in a horrible, backward place and we all escaped. Seriously, if I go back to my home town, I won't run into old friends. They all moved as far away as they could.

It's odd in a way, because we grew up in Bloomington, which was a liberal university town. It had a great library, an amazing music school that gave free concerts, and a cool indy film series.

But the school system was incredibly backward. There was a tension between the universwity people and the townies. There's actually a movie about this: "Breaking Away." It was filmed in Bloomington and it's told from the point-of-view of the townies. It's hokey but it gives you some idea of the culture.

The school-system was run by townies. They teachers didn't like us university brats with our liberal parents, and they didn't work hard to hide their feelings. Meanwhile, our parents were too caught up in university politics to care much. So we were raised in these uber-lefty households but kept captive in the Bible-belt all day. Given some management, this could have been enlightening and educational. But it was mostly horrible and confusing, full of incidents like the one Kelly mentioned in her letter.

Meanwhile, our parents (and TV) regaled us with stores of "more enlightened" places like New York and San Francisco, which is where many of us wound up. I keep running into childhood friends who I didn't even know lived in the same city as me.

Until I got to college, I assumed EVERYONE went to terrible, backward schools. I just assumed that was the way schools were. But in the dorms, I heard all these stories about great teachers. Sometimes people would talk about how terrible MOST of their teachers were, but then they'd say, "Thank God for Mr. Johnson! He was the ONE teacher who encouraged me!" I never had a Mr. Johnson and I doubt Kelly did either. I can't imagine a great teacher surviving in that school system.

People amazed me with tales of extra-curricular activities and elective classes. Art classes, music classes, debate teams, chess teams, computer clubs, etc. With all the resources of a major university nearby, we had nothing like that. We had spelling tests, math drills and dry social studies books.

One teacher had worked out this great life for himself. He would have us read a chapter of the state-assigned text book. Then he'd tell us to get out a sheet of paper and write a question about the chapter that we thought should appear on a test. (He'd remind us to include the answer to the question.) He'd collect all the questions and order the school's secretary to type them out and mimeograph them. The next day, he'd give us the text. After we were done taking it, he'd have us pass our test to the student behind us, and we'd grade each other's test.

I had another teacher -- a math teacher -- who I thought I could bond with. I'd just learned Zeno's paradox, and I thought it was really cool. It was the first mathematical idea that ever sparked my interest. I ran to the teacher and told her about it. She was on her break. She said, "Get out of here and quit bothering me." That was it for me and math.

Again, none of this is Indiana's fault. But I can totally relate to how Kelly feels.
posted by grumblebee at 8:14 PM on August 18, 2007


So I take it she won't be wanting an account here, then?

She might. I haven't even invited her yet.
posted by grumblebee at 8:15 PM on August 18, 2007


why, you're nothing but a fromular little pezwinkle! no wonder you can't finger me out.
posted by quonsar at 8:44 PM on August 18, 2007


Finger you out? gross!
posted by grumblebee at 8:48 PM on August 18, 2007


People, people. There are jerk-offs in every part of the world--especially in your neighborhood..
posted by Burhanistan at 9:08 PM on August 18, 2007


I remember that thread well. It's great she got in touch with you. So often, some of the most memorable people have no idea of the role they played.
posted by BigSky at 9:19 PM on August 18, 2007


Can the hivemind help me find all the people I grew up with? Or at least the ones I thought were hot?

Seriously, congratulations. I often wonder where the folks who shaped me ended up. Sometimes, if I have dreams about them, I wake up thinking I really want to know where they are and what they are doing. And then I decide that they've probably gotten their fair share of me.
posted by Nabubrush at 9:34 PM on August 18, 2007


Add me to the list of people who are stoked that she got in contact. This bears repeating, by the way:

Dennis Murphy - she grew up there. Everyone's allowed to diss where they came from. Get over it.
posted by h00py at 6:06 AM on August 19, 2007


I'm sorry that instead of an uplifting email she came off as bitter, angry, and judgmental. Instead of discussing her memories of grumblebee, she spent the email bashing an entire part of the country.

I know it plays well on metafilter. It's a common hatred that wouldn't be tolerated with many other groups. It doesn't make it right. I'm sorry that she never learned that and probably never will.


Good Christ, talk about bitter, angry, and judgmental. Get over it indeed. I'm glad you're a perfect entity, but let the rest of us try to enjoy our fallible humanity and say things (in private e-mails) that might not make every single person in every single country, income group, religion, &c. totally happy, OK?

Thanks for the post, grumblebee—it made 99.9% of us happy!
posted by languagehat at 6:44 AM on August 19, 2007


Late comment: grumblebee, congrats on making contact. Great followup post.

I grew up in the south and relate to your experience. Have you seen "Junebug"? I know there are lots of movies about urban types revisiting their small-town roots (and all the conflicted feelings that involves), but this one tops the list IMO.
posted by torticat at 10:42 AM on August 19, 2007


"I never had a Mr. Johnson and I doubt Kelly did either."

You might have known him as Ray, or as Jay, or as RJ— you didn't have to call him Mr. Johnson.
posted by klangklangston at 10:50 AM on August 19, 2007


Can the hivemind help me find all the people I grew up with? Or at least the ones I thought were hot?

You sure you want to expose them to this place? I'd guess that Kelly Shanks, now that she has been maligned as an bitter, angry Midwest-basher on a hugely popular website, is kind of wishing she hadn't written grumblebee back.

MeFi assholery aside, I think grumblebee's story is great.
posted by jayder at 1:35 PM on August 19, 2007


For the record, Dennis Murphy, I grew up in Columbus, OH and still reside here and basically like my life and the town, but the fact that I had to put that little "OH" on the end of the city to avoid "COLUMBUS WTF?" from two thirds of my audience is a piece of evidence that suggests that there may, in fact, be nothing really happening here of such great consequence that the greater world or indeed country should take notice.

Keep in mind that we're talking about the biggest city in Ohio. (Suck it, Cleveland! Just because you count the seven hundred and fifty miles between Chicago, you, and Erie as your "metropolitan area" doesn't make it right!)

But we grow your food, cultural elites. Kiss our asses or starve.
posted by Kwine at 6:27 PM on August 19, 2007


As long as kangaroos remain tasty & nutritious & breed like rabbits, I will abstain from this kissing of American ass.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:49 PM on August 19, 2007


No worries, Ubu. I'm pretty sure that "culture" and "elite" aren't even words in Australian English.
posted by Kwine at 7:02 PM on August 19, 2007


Yeah, back when I lived in Dayton, we'd always drive over to Columbus to pick our food. Ah, to see the rolling fields of downtown Columbus again. ;)
posted by salvia at 7:24 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Kwine, are you telling me that the elite jellywrestling shows that run around the clock at the Sydney Opera House don't count as culture?
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:32 PM on August 19, 2007


Cleveland has a major league baseball team. It's got to be bigger.
posted by A dead Quaker at 8:33 PM on August 19, 2007


As another person who grew up in Indiana, let me say that it really can feel very oppressive at times in the ways described above. And I lived in a relatively urban part of the state (meaning you had to drive 20 minutes to hit farm country).

Hooray for escaping, and never going back!

And giving the finger to the state every time I have to pass by or (god forbid) through it!
posted by sparkletone at 10:15 AM on August 20, 2007


Thanks for the followup, grumblebee. I'd followed the AskMe thread silently but with great interest. My experiences seemed similar except for having a nice-ish person around. And if you make it this far, Kelly, we're not all cranky bastards even though you'd be hard pressed to sort the wheat from the chaff sometimes.
posted by Fezboy! at 12:58 PM on August 20, 2007


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