The MeFi podcast needs a sign off catchphrase.

August 20, 2007 10:55 PM

The MeFi podcast needs a sign off catchphrase. Matt tends to end podcasts with 'That's it.' or 'Thanks'. We need something catchy like 'Pancakes!' or 'Don't overthink your plate of beans.' What's your suggestion?
posted by Argyle to MetaFilter-related at 10:55 PM (88 comments total)

"This podcast has been closed to new comments"
posted by mathowie at 10:59 PM on August 20, 2007 [11 favorites]

"So long from Metafilter, where the buckets are full of cocks, the elephants urinate freely, and all the flameouts are above average."
posted by Rhomboid at 11:03 PM on August 20, 2007

★ for mathowie
posted by Poolio at 11:03 PM on August 20, 2007

I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL AND CRAP HAPPINE....

Oh, never mind.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:09 PM on August 20, 2007

(Although I would love hear hear mathowie roar in rage and bellow that randomly once in a while. You know, spice things up a bit.)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:10 PM on August 20, 2007

It might be even better if you just stopped talking at the end of your last sentence, and then played a recorded voice saying "This podcast has been closed to new comments".
posted by Poolio at 11:11 PM on August 20, 2007

Overthinking a plate of beans so you don't have to.
posted by Pronoiac at 11:19 PM on August 20, 2007

You should record Jessamyn doing vocals for the intro jingle, then play it backwards at the end.
posted by carsonb at 11:21 PM on August 20, 2007

Courage!
posted by The Deej at 11:24 PM on August 20, 2007

"mathowie, out!"
posted by puke & cry at 11:24 PM on August 20, 2007

"I'm Matt..."
"I'm Jessamyn..."
"I'm Cortex..."
(then, in unison):
"On behalf of The Deej, and the rest of the MeFites, thanks for listening!"
posted by The Deej at 11:26 PM on August 20, 2007

404
posted by Cranberry at 11:29 PM on August 20, 2007

"Help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered."
posted by vacapinta at 11:30 PM on August 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

Not a catchphrase, an outro jingle. You should end with a cover of Dora the Explorer's "We Did It", customized to recap the events covered in each episode.*
posted by jonson at 11:32 PM on August 20, 2007

"[this was good]"
posted by lalex at 11:35 PM on August 20, 2007

"Victory!"
posted by Poolio at 11:37 PM on August 20, 2007

How 'bout a bit of a down-home flavor with:

"Thanks for joining us again, friends and neighbors, and 'til next time, remember, there's another mule kickin' in your stall!"

Note: You can insert a new and different folk proverb or line from a blues song every time, so the signoff doesn't get stale.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:51 PM on August 20, 2007

"keep on drinking rich, chocolate ovaltine!"

I would pay money for Jess and Matt to reproduce one of the horrible Ovaltine radio ads that I hear on AM every so often ("I love rich chocolate Ovaltine shakes!""Yeah! Billy's mom makes the best rich chocolate Ovaltine shakes!" Fuck you in the eyes, kids. Fuck you in the eyes).

Alternatively: "EXCELSIOR!"
posted by dismas at 11:56 PM on August 20, 2007

"Dee Dee Dee!"
posted by Poolio at 11:56 PM on August 20, 2007

You should end with a cover of Dora the Explorer's "We Did It", customized to recap the events covered in each episode.*

I'm going to be 35 in a couple months and yet I walk around most days humming either "we did it!" or "the map song" in my head ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I wish I could make it stop.
posted by mathowie at 11:58 PM on August 20, 2007 [1 favorite]

The podcast doesn't need a catchphrase. It's a lo-fi gig; it's better when it ends awkwardly (or unawkwardly, if that is how it happens to go) because it feels like a real conversation that we happen to be a fly on the wall for rather than some goddamned production. Do you end your conversations with your own personal catchphrases, MeFites? Are we so corporatized by our other encounters with media that we need signoff catchphrases to help structure everything? Please don't do this, Matt.
posted by Kwine at 12:00 AM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

I agree. I love the 'cast but I always think it's a bit strange and awkward when Matt ends the shows with something along the lines of "Okay, I think we have enough material now."
posted by Brittanie at 12:01 AM on August 21, 2007

I wish I could make it stop.

I've had the same problem for a few years now, and I reckon there's really only one way to make it stop.

Put the kid up for adoption.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:02 AM on August 21, 2007

And yes, Kwine, I need a signoff catchphrase to help structure everything. Everything.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:04 AM on August 21, 2007

How about: a guy wearing a Members Only jacket goes to the bathroom, and then you just stop talking.





(30 seconds of silence, podcast ends.)
posted by kyleg at 12:04 AM on August 21, 2007

I wish I could make it stop.

You have to exorcise those demons by recording the song & making it yours. Seriously, I'll pay $50 to the charity of your choice for a version of you & Jess singing this. I'll even draft up sample lyrics, but feel free to change them if it makes you more likely to sing the song.

"We did it, we did it, we did it, yeah! We DID IT! (lo hicima!)

We gave jonson a gold star, yeah, we did it! we did it, we did it, hurray!

We stunt posted about Michael Vick, yeah we did it! we did it! we did it, hurray!

We banned that cock who self-linked Mesothelioma (Note: you might have to stretch to make the meter work on this line), yeah we did it! we did it! we did it, YAY!

That's all I have for now. Seriously, $50. I'll even donate it to a fake charity like the EFF or whatever. Charity of your choice, just gives me some Haughey/Jessamyn flavored Dora!!
posted by jonson at 12:16 AM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Now get off our lawn."
posted by cortex at 12:23 AM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

This ended well.
posted by vbfg at 1:37 AM on August 21, 2007 [3 favorites]

(singing)
goodbye!
so long!
farewell!
from the... Metafilter (brief pause) podcaaaaast!!
posted by boo_radley at 1:39 AM on August 21, 2007

Singing goodbye
posted by vbfg at 1:42 AM on August 21, 2007

mathowie said: I'm going to be 35 in a couple months and yet I walk around most days humming either "we did it!" or "the map song" in my head ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Just be glad you didn't have toddlers when Barney was popular. I still have that song in my head! (and Lambchop singing "The song that doesn't end" is a close second)
posted by amyms at 2:05 AM on August 21, 2007

Metafilter never really ends, except in closed threads, so I think mathowie nailed it first thing.

I like Poolio's variation on the basic idea... whatever the last sentence of the podcast is, cut it off halfway with that message. Would probably sound best as a synthesized voice.
posted by Malor at 3:38 AM on August 21, 2007

Kwine: "Do you end your conversations with your own personal catchphrases, MeFites?"

As a Cingular AT&T Wireless customer, most of my conversations end with static, something garbled, a couple frantic "hello?"s, a disgusted look at my phone's screen, and a sigh. Maybe that's what Matt should use.
posted by Plutor at 4:48 AM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Now it's time to say goodbye to all our company.
M-A-T (Tee you real soon!)
T-T-Y (Why all the T's? Meter!)

H-O-W-I-E
mathowie (MATHOWIE!)
mathowie (MATHOWIE!)

Forever let us hold banhammers high (High! High! High!)

Pay your dues to join the blue
And watch your life slip by.

M-A-T-T-T-Y-H-O-W-I-E!"
posted by ColdChef at 5:04 AM on August 21, 2007 [6 favorites]

I would sing this Dora song, whatever it is, but maybe we just need some outro music. The last podcast seemed extra flat because we didnt end with a MeFi Music bit.
posted by jessamyn at 5:24 AM on August 21, 2007

Matthowie is stuck with the Dora song. As a parent a decade ahead, I'm stuck with Barney nightmares. A part of parenting is the useless baggage of kiddy-pop cultural touchstones you get stuck with for the rest of your life. What sucks most is only a small percentage of other parents ever know what the hell you are talking about when you gibber about purple dinosaurs, or whether or not the early teen male and female lead kids on that show ever hooked-up, or other horrible mental detritus is left from your kids' toddlerhoods.
posted by mmahaffie at 5:44 AM on August 21, 2007

How about this classic goodbye song from my youth?
posted by genefinder at 6:09 AM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'd like all 3 of you to sing

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu,
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.

Please?
posted by iconomy at 6:10 AM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

Actually, Jessamyn has a good point about this last 'cast not ending with a MeFi Music track. I'm a big supporter of ending each show with a MeFi Music track. And having one at the beginning, too. And, hey, how 'bout one in the middle? I think it should be a shuffle, though: always ending with the same music is, I think, gonna get tiresome.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:21 AM on August 21, 2007

Her majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say...
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 6:25 AM on August 21, 2007

Not a catchphrase, an outro jingle.

Agreed. Or a MeFi Music track. But some kind of closure. I like closure.

This comment has been closed to new comments.
posted by languagehat at 6:34 AM on August 21, 2007

"Thanks for loving us in both holes."
posted by fallenposters at 6:35 AM on August 21, 2007

Well, there's always this...
posted by cortex at 6:44 AM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

A vote for me is a vote for no catchphrase.
posted by LordSludge at 6:56 AM on August 21, 2007

Todd Lokken
posted by Greg Nog at 8:10 AM on August 21, 2007

2nding iconomy's suggestion.

Metafilter is like grown-up storytime. The mods are sitting on the couch with the gigantic metafilter book spread across their laps and all of us in a tight cluster on the carpet in front of them, cross-legged and bright-eyed. Podcasts should ease us down into a nice little nap.
posted by cowbellemoo at 8:35 AM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Cortex, yes son, I want to kill you
Jessamyn...I want to...

you get the idea.
posted by Sailormom at 8:45 AM on August 21, 2007

For the next, what, sixteen or so episodes, play the entirety of "Trapped in the Closet" serially.
posted by kosem at 8:45 AM on August 21, 2007

"Your posts are bad and you should feel bad!"
posted by 1f2frfbf at 9:00 AM on August 21, 2007

Staying entirely on-topic, I like the shorter podcasts, around 30 minutes. It seems like the longer podcasts ramble more.
posted by agropyron at 9:11 AM on August 21, 2007

Metafilter: Use it wisely, soldier!
posted by mullingitover at 9:14 AM on August 21, 2007

How about...

"Holy cow!"

or

"Iiiiiiit's OUTTAAA HEEERE!!!"

or

"GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!"

or

"Shut the fuck up, n00b."

I think I like the last one the best.
posted by slogger at 9:30 AM on August 21, 2007

Please Please please.

"JRUN error. What the fuck is a JRun Err..." and cut off at error.

(or samoflange. Right around the 47 second mark.)
posted by filmgeek at 9:35 AM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

My NAME is SYLAR!

Seriously, no one made this joke yet? Slackers
posted by 0xFCAF at 9:39 AM on August 21, 2007

courage.
posted by jessamyn at 9:44 AM on August 21, 2007

I'd like you to end the podcasts with "Bye, Meatbomb, see you next week!"
posted by Meatbomb at 9:44 AM on August 21, 2007

I want just the opposite of folksy, homespun podcasting. I want location reports from traveling reporters providing updates ON-THE-SCENE. I want Matt and Jessamyn to be replaced by a male-female anchor team with neat hair and teeth so fantastic you can hear the enamel gleam at 64 bit data rates, ticking off the week's bullet points rapid-fire. The whole show should run for exactly twenty three and a half minutes. I want a hard-driving theme song and Don LaFontaine introducing the hosts. And I want the closing to be a recitation of every word and graphic scenario that you can't mention on American television without risking an FCC inquiry.
posted by ardgedee at 10:09 AM on August 21, 2007

WHAT
THE
FUCK,
ME?
posted by Skot at 10:17 AM on August 21, 2007

(I would alternatively suggest that Jessamyn sign off with the phrase "I like to keep fancy birds," but this is a complete nonjoke that is only funny to me, so . . . she should definitely do that.)
posted by Skot at 10:19 AM on August 21, 2007

I can't tell which suggestions in this thread are meant to be serious and which are supposed to be ironic. Is this where I declare the Death of Irony? Or is it just the death of my sense of irony?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:35 AM on August 21, 2007

I keep thinking I should make a Matt & Jess soundboard in flash; then they could just mash on that thing at the end of every podcast.
posted by cortex at 10:35 AM on August 21, 2007

Do it, cortex.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:44 AM on August 21, 2007

I agree.
posted by box at 10:46 AM on August 21, 2007

I think they should end the podcasts with, "You can get the best of the web at mathowie's community blog."
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:49 AM on August 21, 2007

"There, that oughta hold the little bastards!"
posted by nightwood at 11:01 AM on August 21, 2007

I find "Do it, cortex" pretty appealing.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:45 AM on August 21, 2007

I find "Do it, cortex" pretty appealing.

Only if cortex then sings "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" over the closing credits.
posted by LionIndex at 11:50 AM on August 21, 2007

'Don't overthink your plate of beans.'

Alternately: 'You can stick a fork in this plate of beans.'

But I'm in favor of the sweet and simple: 'Meh.'
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 12:43 PM on August 21, 2007

"Throw some D's on that bitch."
posted by vronsky at 12:53 PM on August 21, 2007

I will personally put in $20 to get Don Lafontaine to record the intro.
posted by felix at 12:53 PM on August 21, 2007

"Now get back to work. Now."
posted by From Bklyn at 2:36 PM on August 21, 2007

"You've heard it all,
You're not a quitter!
One more hour
Down the shitter."
posted by The Deej at 3:10 PM on August 21, 2007

"Porkchop sandwiches!"
posted by zardoz at 5:12 PM on August 21, 2007

"It's over...a lot of people in the audience look pissed."
posted by ersatzkat at 5:52 PM on August 21, 2007

Matthowie is stuck with the Dora song. As a parent a decade ahead, I'm stuck with Barney nightmares.
And I'm stuck with The Wiggles. Forever. You just have to accept, mathowie, that you will never shake that song from your head - it will come back to you at odd times throughout your life from this point on.

For those of you yet to procreate, let this be a warning to you.

The podcasts need no fancy ending - just the fact that they end is bad enough, without some lame call-off. I like the casual "OK, that'll do" *click*.
posted by dg at 6:49 PM on August 21, 2007

"Until next week: I'm Matt Haughey, and I hope you are, too."
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:08 PM on August 21, 2007

" ... the Aristocrats!"
posted by RavinDave at 7:17 PM on August 21, 2007

Same as in town.

Time to make the donuts.

(if one of mine wins, may I please have a gold star instead of a pony?)
posted by misha at 8:50 PM on August 21, 2007

You know who would actually do a good job on this? Those guys who did the beer commercials (not spamming for a beer company) with the "here's to you, Mr. so-and-so" theme.

"Here's to you, Metafilter..."
posted by misha at 8:52 PM on August 21, 2007

"[this was good]"

That gets my vote for best suggestion.

Simple, clean, non-ridiculous, non-elaborate, referential.
posted by Miko at 9:10 PM on August 21, 2007

Also, I think Matt's default to "That's our show" is really Ira Glass-influenced. That's usually how Ira ends his show, also adding a little bit of an interview from the show removed from its context. But he almost always says "That's our show." It would be great for the podcast to have its own tagline.

Regardless of how lofi it is, there are a lot of little conventions like this that make it more listenable. That's the reason radio hasn't departed from that model for 70-some years. It gives listeners orientation points. I'm all for something like "Well, Thanks for listening to the MetaFilter podcast. This was good."

Or "Time to make the doughnuts."
posted by Miko at 9:14 PM on August 21, 2007

"I told you I was hardcore."

"IM IN UR IPOD CASTIN UR MEFI"

I've really got nothin, I just like watching myself type.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:32 PM on August 21, 2007 [2 favorites]

Simple, clean, non-ridiculous, non-elaborate, referential.

Yeah, but those square brackets are a son of a bitch to pronounce.
posted by cortex at 9:33 PM on August 21, 2007

No, not really, but "open square bracket this was good close square bracket" doesn't exactly have the smooth flow of some of the other suggestions.
posted by dg at 10:53 PM on August 21, 2007

*singing*
We'll meet again,
Don't know where,
Don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day!
*KABOOM!*

Or, alternatively:

"We now return control of your pod to you, until next week when the Mathowie Voice again takes you to: THE META LIMITS!"
posted by SPrintF at 11:08 PM on August 21, 2007

*whispered slowly*

"Rosepod"
posted by rob511 at 1:01 AM on August 22, 2007

Matt Haughey is Kaiser Soze!
posted by The Deej at 7:24 AM on August 23, 2007

Could you tilt your webcam slightly downward, Slarty?

How about "Matt Haughey, Portland, Oregon, CNN Metafilter."

And of course a short quote from the interview replayed
out of context like TAL.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:42 AM on August 24, 2007