LOLcrap!

November 2, 2007 8:16 PM

I fucking hate this "LOLcat" shit. I want to LOLkick whoever started it in the groin.

I fell extra-curmudgeonly today and my LOLcat hate is bubblng to the surface. Why we we have multiple LOLcat crap on the front page?

posted by Kickstart70 to MetaFilter-Related at 8:16 PM (106 comments total)

Just to see if you'd try to kickstart a cat. That's all, really.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 8:17 PM on November 2, 2007

Thiz thread can haz wendell?
posted by SassHat at 8:18 PM on November 2, 2007 [9 favorites]

How do you feel about roommates?
posted by boo_radley at 8:18 PM on November 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

This will not Kickstart.
posted by wendell at 8:21 PM on November 2, 2007 [14 favorites]

Because people hate you, yes you, that is why it was done. They knew your eyes could not resist being drawn in and your ire provoked to such a rage that a MetaTalk post would ensure!!! BELIEVE IT!

yeah LOL Cats are/is stupid, but so are 4 out of seven things any given person likes
posted by edgeways at 8:21 PM on November 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

i'm in ur metafilter kickstartin ur cat's groin?
posted by spiderwire at 8:27 PM on November 2, 2007

UR FAV MEM SUX!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:27 PM on November 2, 2007

INVISIBLE IMG TAG
posted by spiderwire at 8:28 PM on November 2, 2007 [17 favorites]

I'm with you kickstart, it's corny, lazy and it has overstayed its welcome, like all web memes. But I despair of any action that can be taken to make it go away, all we can do is weather the storm and wait for the next stupid thing to come along, which, like catching the tip of your dick in your zipper while you have a canker sore has the benefit of being a brief novelty, if nothing else.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:29 PM on November 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Why we we have multiple LOLcat crap on the front page?

lulz cat grammar
posted by spiderwire at 8:30 PM on November 2, 2007 [5 favorites]

catching the tip of your dick in your zipper while you have a canker sore has the benefit of being a brief novelty

2 MUCH INFORMATION KTHX
posted by spiderwire at 8:30 PM on November 2, 2007

You're late to the party. The backlash against the backlash against the backlash against image macros is already old hat.

You're right though. Fucking joiners make my ass itch.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:33 PM on November 2, 2007

Someone needs to give Kickstart a cheeseburger, an invisible bike, and a chill pill.
posted by ORthey at 8:35 PM on November 2, 2007

Fucking joiners make my ass itch.

OK AGAIN 2 MUCH INFO
posted by spiderwire at 8:36 PM on November 2, 2007

Hating LOLCats is soft. I'm starting to think I liked Metatalk better when it was filled with petty, vindictive behavior from one user to another.
posted by mkultra at 8:36 PM on November 2, 2007

What's awesome is that 19 lolcat FPP's ago, I made one and it was deleted for being yet another lolcat post. Then, 19 more lolcat posts came. Will it ever end? kitteh sez no wai!
posted by jonson at 8:43 PM on November 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

I'm starting to think I liked Metatalk better when it was filled with petty, vindictive behavior from one user to another.

Shut the hell up, you crap-ganking LOLboosting cheesehostess!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:44 PM on November 2, 2007 [5 favorites]

jonson, you have not yet uploaded a picture of a pug to your profile. Please do so immediately. Thanks.
posted by yhbc at 8:49 PM on November 2, 2007

You've been RickLOLled
posted by wendell at 8:52 PM on November 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I think what we're experiencing is meme-lag. That is, it's been a while since the last retarded meme, but nobody's come up with a new one yet. So we have people trying to squeeze the last few drops out of the last meme, which in this case is LOLCATS.

Perhaps we can recycle some old memes and mash them up a bit?

"Snakes on an plane are watching me masturbate because I stole their eponysterical bucket! Somebody call the pirates and zombies!"
posted by Afroblanco at 9:03 PM on November 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

I HATE ALL OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS EXCEPT Kickstart70. Kickstart70 IS A GOD AMONG MEFI USERS.

OF COURSE, I'M FUCKING DRUBK SO TAKE THAT AS YOU MAY.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:19 PM on November 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

What's awesome is that 19 lolcat FPP's ago, I made one and it was deleted for being yet another lolcat post. Then, 19 more lolcat posts came. Will it ever end? kitteh sez no wai!

Not a LOLcat post goes by that I don't think back on that. I'm not sure which of us got the raw deal, really; are you pleased that the motherfuckers Just Keep Coming, and that I mostly bite my tongue? It's a damned quandry, is what it is.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:20 PM on November 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Snakes on an plane are watching me masturbate because I stole their eponysterical bucket! Somebody call the pirates and zombies!"

Yeah, but LOLCATS is older than any of those. It is like the meme vampire (or memepire, if you will) and will forever stalk the night, biting your lame meme in the throat and finding new life because of it.
posted by pokermonk at 9:22 PM on November 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

Damn. I thought checking in on my fantasy basketball team four days into the season was worthless.

Doubtless it is, but not so much as this wankery.
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:24 PM on November 2, 2007

Would it help if everybody posted something about elephants tomorrow?
posted by arto at 9:24 PM on November 2, 2007

Let's just re-appropriate something from another era. My vote goes to: I'm sticking your hoop, mofo!
posted by SassHat at 9:24 PM on November 2, 2007

Aww!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:30 PM on November 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

jonson, you have not yet uploaded a picture of a pug to your profile. Please do so immediately. Thanks.

Pugs are for wieners. Real men adopt Border Collie/Lab mixes.

(yeah, I put my dog as my profile pic. Shoot me in the creek, m'kay?)
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:31 PM on November 2, 2007

i ate a bee
posted by killdevil at 9:32 PM on November 2, 2007

All your bees are belong to us.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:38 PM on November 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

In Soviet Russia, the bees ated you!
posted by mullacc at 9:51 PM on November 2, 2007

I fucking hate this "LOLcat" shit.

Seconded.
posted by mlis at 9:57 PM on November 2, 2007

In Soviet Russia, all your bees belong to pirates!
posted by Afroblanco at 10:04 PM on November 2, 2007

Suck it, haters! LOLcats are the new porn.

Used to be that I saw some random photo on then with some hot bun flashing or something, and then my crotch-vibes ordered me to flip out the smut links.

Now I need 20 minutes of icanhascheezburger.com every time I see a kitten.
posted by Anything at 10:14 PM on November 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

on then -> on the net
posted by Anything at 10:14 PM on November 2, 2007

These bees, they vibrate?
posted by rtha at 10:19 PM on November 2, 2007

These bees, they vibrate?

Well... yeah
posted by spiderwire at 10:20 PM on November 2, 2007

I can has righteous indignation?
posted by knave at 10:23 PM on November 2, 2007

It would require a rare idiocy not to grasp the importance of lolcats. History will group you with the assholes who hated the enlightenment.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:24 PM on November 2, 2007 [10 favorites]

As one of mofos who posted a lolcat link today, I defy any of you to try lolkicking me in the groin. You can try and try until you collapse from exhaustion. I'm just that swift. Also I have no nutsack to slow me down. Ha!
posted by maryh at 10:32 PM on November 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

I genuinely find them amusing.

They are tiny puffs of warm human catlove in the face of the howling tornado of horrifying, wrenching reality.

And I'm all about some catlove.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:38 PM on November 2, 2007 [5 favorites]

I have been stalking and plan to kill both the Numa Numa kid and that kid who likes turtles.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:15 PM on November 2, 2007

LOLCAT
posted by brain cloud at 11:18 PM on November 2, 2007

So go read a book if you don't like it here.
posted by Iron Rat at 11:20 PM on November 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

ORthey writes "Someone needs to give Kickstart a cheeseburger, an invisible bike, and a chill pill."

And a bucket. You forgot the bucket.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:26 PM on November 2, 2007

I love LOLcats and I'm not ashamed to admit it! In fact, I think someone should start a LOLmetafilter site, with cats acting out witty and/or absurd Mefi comments.
posted by amyms at 11:41 PM on November 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

less LOLcats, more LOLphantom
posted by Reggie Digest at 12:01 AM on November 3, 2007

This is relevant to my interests.
posted by amyms at 12:16 AM on November 3, 2007

*rolls around on Kickstart70's lawn*
posted by gomichild at 1:05 AM on November 3, 2007

You're right though. Fucking joiners make my ass itch.
Me too. Have we enough joiner haters to start a group?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:28 AM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

.
posted by Deathalicious at 1:39 AM on November 3, 2007

mkultra: "Hating LOLCats is soft. I'm starting to think I liked Metatalk better when it was filled with petty, vindictive behavior from one user to another."
You mean last week?
posted by dg at 1:51 AM on November 3, 2007

The thing that bothers me most about LOLCATS is the way they're redefining our collective image of cats as aloof, intelligent, and inscrutably feline creatures (see Old Possum's book of Practical Cats, The Cat Who Walked By Himself, Edward Gorey, and so on ) as moronic cheesburger seeking comedy illiterates. The thing that bothers me the second most is that no-one has, as yet, successfully combined the images from the aforementioned interpretations of cat behaviour with cat macros. Seriously, I've googled them, and a few people have sort of tried it, to mixed and unamusing results. Maybe it's just not that good an idea.

The third is that LOLCATS have pretty much ruined Feersum Enjinn for me. Damn.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 1:54 AM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

HAY THAT SHOW MYTHBUSTARS HAS MEFI IN TEH BACKGRUOND
posted by ninjew at 2:37 AM on November 3, 2007

I love the LOLcats. If kitten pictures with bad grammar are wrong, I don't wanna be right.
posted by ukdanae at 3:51 AM on November 3, 2007

We've all got our things. I temporarily black out every time I see a comment take the form of a strained limerick or haiku.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:01 AM on November 3, 2007 [5 favorites]

Ceiling LOLcat ate my balls.

No, seriously. That's why I'm sitting at home alone on a Saturday night, posting on Meta.
posted by Pinback at 4:12 AM on November 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Kickstart70, perhaps you'd be less stressed if you were more like this.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:32 AM on November 3, 2007

Kickstart70, I think I know how you feel, because I am so fucking tired of hearing from people who are so fucking tired of seeing LOLCats....
posted by RussHy at 5:23 AM on November 3, 2007

LOLcat killed my unkle.
posted by Balisong at 6:44 AM on November 3, 2007

If only so much energy could be used to put a stop to LOLiraq, or LOLbush.

Iz made uz sum freidum, but I eated it.
posted by Balisong at 6:54 AM on November 3, 2007

If you had watched the documentary, you'd know that LOLcats were started by Happycat. Sadly, he is now dead, so you can't kick him in the groin.
posted by sugarfish at 7:07 AM on November 3, 2007

INVISIBLE GRAMMARIAN

SANDWICH
posted by loquacious at 7:25 AM on November 3, 2007

Goddammit, I still miss the image tag. I think I am over it, then a thread like this pops up on MetaTalk and I feel the yearning all over again.
posted by LarryC at 7:30 AM on November 3, 2007

Wow, I used to miss the image tag, but threads like this make me think it would be hell in this post-LOLcats world.
posted by agropyron at 7:43 AM on November 3, 2007

Lolcats changed everything and we could not wait for the smoking gun to come in the form of an irritating .jpg.
posted by Mid at 8:08 AM on November 3, 2007

LOLCantankerousAssholes?
posted by thewalrusispaul at 8:15 AM on November 3, 2007

The thing that bothers me most about LOLCATS is the way they're redefining our collective image of cats as aloof, intelligent, and inscrutably feline creatures (see Old Possum's book of Practical Cats, The Cat Who Walked By Himself, Edward Gorey, and so on ) as moronic cheesburger seeking comedy illiterates.

I've got two responses.

1. See, these are American cats. Ha! Ha! Oy. Okay.

2. lolcats aren't illiterate or subliterate or anything of the sort; what they are is grappling—with shocking efficacy—with the mechanics of human language. They are not failing miserably, they are succeeding brilliantly. Their English is poor, yes, but it's a hell of a lot better than your Cat, yes?
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:19 AM on November 3, 2007 [7 favorites]

Honest to fucking christ, stop with the wendell and popcorn "jokes". Seriously. Not funny. Hasn't been for a very long time. Find a new route. Cut the shit!
posted by ericb at 8:30 AM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

"LOLcat killed my unkle."

LOLcat killed my dog, and I don't think it's fair.

(What makes me able to cope with LOLcats is by noting that they're not very far off from late 19th and early 20th century depictions of immigrants in folk media. Katzenjammers all.)
posted by klangklangston at 9:09 AM on November 3, 2007

Kickstart70, I think I know how you feel, because I am so fucking tired of hearing from people who are so fucking tired of seeing LOLCats....

Seconded.
posted by 3.2.3 at 9:14 AM on November 3, 2007

LOLcat killed my dog, and I don't think it's fair.

And his suicide can be justified
By the photoshoppers, how they cried and cried and so
posted by Afroblanco at 9:15 AM on November 3, 2007

See, these are American cats.

That explains it.
posted by timeistight at 9:20 AM on November 3, 2007

At the very least Mefi should institute a Caturday only policy. I think Fark has gotten the lolcat infestation under control by having one, and only one, lolcat thread a week.

I love me some lolcats, but there has to be a limit.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 10:42 AM on November 3, 2007

Their English is poor, yes, but it's a hell of a lot better than your Cat, yes?

Meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow

as you can see, I speak fluently and have no problems ordering Meow Mix.
posted by Challahtronix at 11:10 AM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

They are tiny puffs of warm human catlove

Like hell. I hate cats. As far as I'm concerned, the only good cat is a dead cat... or a LOLCAT. Despite my aversion to felines, however, I have swallowed that meme whole.

But it has nothing to do with actual cats. It is all about the cute, toddler-esque phrasing. At least once a day, my dog looks up at me, all forlorn, and says "I can has cheezburger?"

Sadly, no, no she cannot.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:35 AM on November 3, 2007

...and have no problems ordering Meow Mix.

Damn you for resurrecting that ear worm of a jingle!

"Tastes so good, cats ask for it by name!"
posted by ericb at 11:56 AM on November 3, 2007

I can't believe that someone is suggesting that LOLcats are responsible for dumbing down a collective image of cats that contradicts the creation of Old Possums Book of Practical Cats.

Dude. Andrew Lloyd Webber. That ship sailed the moron seas years ago.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:06 PM on November 3, 2007 [3 favorites]

I'm pretty much done with the whole meme, it's been beaten to death. I honestly can't understand why anyone would still think it's funny. It's like, did you join the internet a week ago or what?
posted by puke & cry at 12:12 PM on November 3, 2007

You suck, lolcat rulz.
posted by y2karl at 12:43 PM on November 3, 2007

So where IS my bucket?
posted by konolia at 12:59 PM on November 3, 2007

I CAN HAS IT. DO WANT.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:12 PM on November 3, 2007

Hell, I go one further. You know what I don't like? These music posts. They're all like:

ITTY BITTY DIRT BAND is a great band because they SOMETHING OR OTHER. They formed in BLAH and they soon rose to prominence because THE DID SOMETHING SOMEWHERE. They released their first album in DAYS OF YORE and nobody liked it. But then some people started to like it and they released GENERIC SINGLE NUMBER ONE and GENERIC SINGLE NUMBER TWO and at least thirty thousand (or less) people bought those and played them on their TURNTABLES. And here are ITTY BITTY DIRT BAND doing their stuff LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE and as I really, really do like this band, you should click on every link in this post because I say so. This is truly the best of the web, because I know how to use a search engine and therefore I AM GOD

And, oh yeah, they've got a NEW ALBUM OUT and A BOOK and you should buy them because I just put together a lame MetaFilter post about ITTY BITTY DIRT BAND.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:31 PM on November 3, 2007 [17 favorites]

Lentrohamsanin:
Enjoy your trip to the void
Your friend always, Kwine
posted by Kwine at 1:33 PM on November 3, 2007

Man this thread is eponysteria writ large.
posted by the_bone at 1:42 PM on November 3, 2007

Damn, soundofsuburbia, that was awesome.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:43 PM on November 3, 2007

I'm pretty sure it started at 2ch, actually.
posted by delmoi at 1:43 PM on November 3, 2007

Yeah but it was in a different language so it doesn't count. And it was mostly pictures of kiddy porn.
posted by puke & cry at 1:51 PM on November 3, 2007

Everybody needs a little LOL in their life. Not being allowed a pet (I'd probably get a LOLDOG) in my apartment, but having a porch with a little landscaping in front of it, I have this.
posted by wendell at 3:18 PM on November 3, 2007

...and when I woke up there I was, holding Kwine's severed fingers and muttering "Count 5-7-5 without these, motherfucker."
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 3:35 PM on November 3, 2007

it's the internet, get over it...
posted by HuronBob at 3:41 PM on November 3, 2007

Hey soundofsuburbia.. You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? OK.
posted by vronsky at 4:28 PM on November 3, 2007

LOLMeTa
posted by CKmtl at 4:47 PM on November 3, 2007

I tried to stop myself from doing this.

Thanks Projects!
posted by KAS at 5:11 PM on November 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

I tried to stop myself from doing this.

Is that thing supposed to change my comments or something?
posted by spiderwire at 6:11 PM on November 3, 2007

FAIL
posted by jaronson at 8:26 PM on November 3, 2007

Your cat sometimes messes around when you're not home, nibbling at its own dried shit and then licking the remote, dry-humping your toothbrush, and pressing its ass all over your glasses case. That's why you sometimes smell like a filthy, randy cat.
posted by breezeway at 10:44 PM on November 3, 2007

I hate lolcats too (especially the language) if it makes you feel better. I view it essentially on par with leet (31337)-speak that was prominent among script kiddies and their kin.

Although, I don't really think it hinders the website's quality, since it's just layers and layers of ironic "Ha, this is hilarious because it's pidgin english" humor. It's easy enough to skip past.
posted by spiderskull at 2:20 AM on November 4, 2007

But I despair of any action that can be taken to make it go away

I find that just not reading posts on that particular subject works rather well for me. YMMV, obviously, as I know that some masochists just love to torture themselves by reading about subjects they have no interest in, but it can definitely cut down the misery.

Practice hitting the down arrow key until you finally work up the confidence to do it for real.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:09 AM on November 4, 2007

This thread needs more LOLbell.
posted by MCTDavid at 7:11 AM on November 4, 2007 [3 favorites]

"You're the perfect bait. They will view you as conflicted. Your LOLcatophobia is so visceral."

"See that? I haven't even been to icanhascheezburger.com and already you're calling me a LOLgroinkicker."
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:34 AM on November 4, 2007

This thread needs more LOLbell.

Hmm...

News at eLOLeven: lolcats lolkick lolass. Now and lolthen. IlLolizlle in my shilolizzle and so forth. Like, lol alolready.

No, it doesn't.
posted by y2karl at 9:09 AM on November 4, 2007

don't care
posted by arnold at 9:50 AM on November 4, 2007

"O hai!" still makes me ROFL my waffles.

I do not understand why.

please help me.
posted by rollbiz at 10:11 AM on November 4, 2007

since it's just layers and layers of ironic "Ha, this is hilarious because it's pidgin english" humor

No. It is the pictures of cats. Duh.
posted by dame at 10:23 AM on November 4, 2007

Practice hitting the down arrow key until you finally work up the confidence to do it for real.

I don't need to practice it chief, I do it all the time, I was just saying I don't like that shit, in a thread about not liking that shit or do I need your permission for that? People post these retarded little verbal catchphrase farts in threads all the time instead of taking the time to say something original or saying nothing at all, I don't care for it. But nice zinger, it had that snotty bitch tone, you know... perfect.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:49 PM on November 5, 2007