Ho, Ho, Ho. | MetaTalk

Both my family and Mrs Slack's family have declared a Christmas Is For Kids concept, so the adults don't exhange gifts anymore. And Mr Slack and I both felt a bit hypocritical exchanging Christmas gifts since neither of us really believe in the whole xmas back story, so we stopped exchanging gifts at Christmas years ago. We're more birthday people anyway, so we go whole hog in the summer for our birthdays. For me Christmas is really just about getting the whole family together anyway, which seems to only happen once a year now. I'll proably end up with a token gift card to Starbucks or Borders from my mom since she feels bad that we spend so much for our nephews and neices but get nothing in return (there are no little Slacks running around).
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 7:42 AM on December 25, 2007

A USB oscilloscope!
posted by aubilenon at 8:07 AM on December 25, 2007

I got a free coffee at Sheetz.
posted by Wolfdog at 8:25 AM on December 25, 2007

My daughter got me a Pink Floyd zippered hoodie. It has the Dark Side logo on it. Dude!

My folks gave me some money, with which I bought a DVD recorder. So, now I can convert all my old video home movies onto DVD, then when I get more time and ambition I can edit them in iMovie, and make a professional looking DVD in iDVD. If you have old VHS or 8mm video laying around, that might be a good gift for yourself. (Hey, shouldn't this be an AskMe?)

Despite the unchallenged coolness of these gifts, I am insanely jealous of spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints's TV Guide cover. Damn you! Damn you for ruining my Christmas!
posted by The Deej at 8:27 AM on December 25, 2007

"God is a Moog", by Gershon 'Popcorn' Kingsley. It's something else.
posted by cortex at 8:30 AM on December 25, 2007

Laid.
posted by Ian A.T. at 8:33 AM on December 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

My wife bought me the book Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

What does it mean?
posted by LarryC at 8:35 AM on December 25, 2007

LarryC: it either means you're a lousy dresser or she wants the house redone.
posted by jonmc at 8:38 AM on December 25, 2007

All I got was a hangover. But my daughter got an electric guitar. I can't wait to play with that later.
posted by Sailormom at 8:48 AM on December 25, 2007

I've been a good boy this year, so I bought myself a Gulfstream G550 and remodeled the kitchen on my yacht.
posted by cmonkey at 8:48 AM on December 25, 2007

coal.
posted by terrapin at 8:52 AM on December 25, 2007

I got a pasta extruder attachment for my stand mixer!

This is an especially fantastic gift because I am not the cook in my household, my SO is. I get pasta without any effort! Woohoo!
posted by Ms. Saint at 9:12 AM on December 25, 2007

My 84 year old grandmother gave me a book of new avant-garde poetry (by this guy) which impressed me greatly. As we say in Icelandic, það er líf í þeirri gömlu, there is life in the old one.

Yes, we do in fact all worship Cthulhu here in the frozen north. In fact my name, Kári Tulinius, actually means The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young. By the by, it's snowing like Dickens up here. I'm slightly worried about having to drive later in my jet-lagged state, but I'm the designated driver in my family.
posted by Kattullus at 9:13 AM on December 25, 2007 [2 favorites]

I got "Mutter Museum Historic Medical Photographs". It has pictures of parasitic twins, victims of elephantitis, hermaphrodites and other such treasures from around 1850 to turn of the 19th century. I love it. I also got "30,000 Years of Art", which is terrific.

And some chocolate and a bad cold.
posted by Evangeline at 9:14 AM on December 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, it's an odd Christmas for us. My mother died on the 23rd, which is a blessing because she had advanced metastatic cancer which had only been diagnosed 3 weeks ago. The docs didn't tell us HOW advanced until the 22nd when she was admitted to the hospital because her body started shutting down. We will be meeting for our Christmas at 3 today, but it will be rather subdued.
posted by lleachie at 9:22 AM on December 25, 2007

Nuthin'
posted by jeffamaphone at 9:23 AM on December 25, 2007

I got an electric pressure cooker and some Hi-Chew. I'm trying to find a way to make them work together.
posted by sugarfish at 9:24 AM on December 25, 2007

lleachie, I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by sugarfish at 9:24 AM on December 25, 2007

Adding that Mutter Museum book to my wishlist....

I got Star Wars drinking glasses, and kicky Art Deco-looking earrings, and socks with Boxer dogs on them (so when she steals them she'll see herself and be confused), and a pretty new collar for that dog, and a vintage dealer brochure for the camera I learned how to shoot on.

Best though, I sprung my mom from the hospital yesterday with no sign of any cardiac woes whatsoever. And my other dog, who tunneled out and got hit by a car two years ago yesterday, is now fifteen and selectively deaf and occasionally senile.
posted by cmyk at 9:28 AM on December 25, 2007

I got a Martin acoustic folk guitar from my husband and kids and Santa brought us all Guitar Hero III for Wii. We got lots and lots of nice stuff from the extended family, but one of the best was a doll dress that my great grandma crocheted for my mom back in the 50s. Mom fixed up 4 of these dresses, put them on rag dolls and gave them to me, my sister and my 2 cousins. Very very cool.
posted by Biblio at 9:31 AM on December 25, 2007

My folks are up in Maine with my sister and her family since it's my nephews first Xmas. Reportedly, he really enjoyed opening the boxes. I'm here in Queens watching TVLand. They're running a 'Merrython' of Xmas episodes. I've been watching them with IMDB open since I am a geek. In the process I found out that there's a Sanford & Son movie 'in development.' That's just wrong. There's only one man who could play Fred Sanford and he's dead.

Also, I've been drawing pictures on Ritz crackers with Easy Cheese.
posted by jonmc at 9:40 AM on December 25, 2007

I've got a freezer full of cannoli I made last night that I'm to bring to a friend's dinner that starts in... two hours.

All I want to do though is sit here and read the copy of Guns, Germs, and Steel that I got myself because I kept hearing about it on Metafilter. I'm still in my pajamas and crop rotation has never been so fascinating.

Damn you. Damn you all.
posted by cmyk at 9:51 AM on December 25, 2007 [2 favorites]

For those of you in New York, the Yule log is still on Channel 11! If you're not in New York, you can enjoy the Yule log here (though it's certainly more inspiring on the big screen).

A little Yule log history.
posted by Evangeline at 9:56 AM on December 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

Log. Heh.
posted by jonmc at 10:02 AM on December 25, 2007

Oh for Pete's sake...
posted by Evangeline at 10:05 AM on December 25, 2007

Awww, for my fellow outer-borough-ites....
posted by jonmc at 10:09 AM on December 25, 2007

Some video games and books. I'm most excited about this one.
posted by danb at 10:14 AM on December 25, 2007

New baby girl.
posted by scblackman at 10:18 AM on December 25, 2007 [4 favorites]

I got a gift certificate for a one-hour massage which will soon be necessary as my SO's parents are due here in about 4 hours.

(Joking, Bev, I'm joking)
posted by vapidave at 10:21 AM on December 25, 2007

Lots of great friends and unconditional love. It's a nice day.
posted by sleepy pete at 10:31 AM on December 25, 2007

Cash, it's easier to bring back to LA. Oh, and a complete Green Arrow series done by Kevin Smith.
posted by Derek at 10:32 AM on December 25, 2007

I got:

A JVC in-dash DVD player
Kicker speakers
A TomTom GPS unit

Apparently my wife thinks I should spend more time in my car.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:37 AM on December 25, 2007

It's not about what you got. It's about what you GAVE.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:44 AM on December 25, 2007 [3 favorites]

I got the second season of the US Office. I'm pondering whether to get the first season with my Christmas money, or if it'll make sense on its own.
posted by dipping_sauce at 10:52 AM on December 25, 2007

"It's not about what you got. It's about what you GAVE."

Unless the question is "What did you all get?" Then, clearly, it's about what you GOT.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:04 AM on December 25, 2007 [3 favorites]

I got my health and family and friends. Everything else is just gravy.

But the iPod IS nice.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:09 AM on December 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

My father got me a bottle of 18 yr Scotch, and my mother got me a bottle of wine signed by Pat Summitt at a charity auction.

I also got leftovers. Lots and lots of leftovers!
posted by absalom at 11:12 AM on December 25, 2007

Congratulations, scblackman! She's beautiful!
posted by Asparagirl at 11:14 AM on December 25, 2007

Exactly one year older.
phffft.
posted by stagewhisper at 11:15 AM on December 25, 2007

Guitar Hero! Kickass.
posted by jbickers at 11:24 AM on December 25, 2007

I got a Wii and an OLPC (which'll hopefully show up in about a month).

I gave a bunch of people non-newtonian solids as stocking stuffers, and I'm getting a few of the women in my life custom coats from this Parisian designer that lives in Shanghai.
posted by blasdelf at 11:26 AM on December 25, 2007

jonmc: There's only one man who could play Fred Sanford and he's dead.

NOOOOO! And in the prime of his life too! We'll miss you, Jackie Chan!

.
posted by Kattullus at 11:27 AM on December 25, 2007 [2 favorites]

Our Give one, get one olpc arrived yesterday afternoon and kept us up geeking out all night. Talk about great timing!
posted by Manjusri at 11:31 AM on December 25, 2007

Apparently, I got a computer, but it has not arrived.
posted by parmanparman at 11:32 AM on December 25, 2007

I got a scanner and, um, my Birkenstocks recrafted and a pizza stone and some Play-Doh and some macadamia nut chocolate stuff and a sweater and some perfume that I don't have yet. And some other stuff! And, um, some of those beads you put on the pegboard and melt together with an iron. And my parents gave me this book and um, some giraffe measuring spoons. And some more things I wanted and needed!
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:41 AM on December 25, 2007

My brother got me the 2007 edition of the Best American Comics series.
posted by Corduroy at 11:46 AM on December 25, 2007

i got a drill hoo boy did i get a drill i got a drill gonna make some holes inna wall
posted by YamwotIam at 11:46 AM on December 25, 2007 [9 favorites]

I gotst some Bacon Salt (2 different flavors!), ear bobs (1 set of plugs glows in the dark!), a paint-by-numbers with kittens, those little capsules that you plop in water and they turn into animals, and and and

are you ready??

A jackalope!!!!! yes!! (fiercecupcake rules) He is hanging on the wall next to my Ms. Pac-Man Machine that I got myself!
posted by likesuchasand at 11:47 AM on December 25, 2007

Booyah, pocket constitution!

Thanks mom.
posted by churl at 11:49 AM on December 25, 2007

Greatfather Winter got me a Clockwork Rocket Bot.
posted by Nelson at 11:52 AM on December 25, 2007

I got the Criterion 5-disc Fanny & Alexander. Also a sweater and three tons of coffee.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:54 AM on December 25, 2007

Is it a bad sign when you get deodorant and incense?
posted by jessamyn at 12:04 PM on December 25, 2007

my Birkenstocks recrafted

let me guess: macrame straps?

(I just made some Jim Beam eggnog. I added some creme de menthe. Feeling seasonal and all that shit)
posted by jonmc at 12:17 PM on December 25, 2007

A gorgeous Wedgwood notebook, a murder mystery novel from my lovely 8-year-old cutie of a sister who associates "Phire" with "avid reading", a beautiful and absolutely adorable swarovski hedgehog, some pyjamas (!! :D) and some cash that I'm torn between saving like a good little broke college kid, or spending on myself. *exasperated sigh*
posted by Phire at 12:23 PM on December 25, 2007

Assorted useful stuffs and enough cash so that the Missus and I will definately be able to hit up the Explosions in the Sky-curated All Tomorrow's Parties in May.

Plus maybe a weekend in New York before then!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:25 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a six hour delay on the train, and a sinus cold!

I would like to stay in bed now please.
posted by blacklite at 12:35 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a little niece! Well, I guess we actually got her six weeks ago, but she certainly still eclipsed the presents in terms of drawing interest. "Oh hey, a nice thermal shirt, I.....hey lookit teh widdle babby starting at the Christmas tree! And she's kicking her little legs! Right, right? You're kicking your little legs....yes you are....." (cooing and simpering continues for 10 minutes). She's a cutie, alright.
posted by otolith at 12:56 PM on December 25, 2007

nthing the head-cold. Goddamn it.
posted by wemayfreeze at 1:02 PM on December 25, 2007

I didn't get anything. Really. First time ever. Fuck you Santa.
posted by dhammond at 1:02 PM on December 25, 2007

THIS JUST IN...
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS IS OVER!
mmmmaybe.
posted by wendell at 1:14 PM on December 25, 2007

An amazing cozy bathrobe...and pint glasses from the b/f, just what I wanted! Off to the movies...inevitably.
posted by Asherah at 1:18 PM on December 25, 2007

A Weihnachtstollen and matching cookies that my old mother baked. The perfect gift.
posted by jouke at 1:22 PM on December 25, 2007

I will soon get dinner guests. Seriously considering leaving monitor and getting dressed.
posted by Cranberry at 1:23 PM on December 25, 2007

A whole buncha art supplies that I don't get to play with for another week, an Italian cookbook and a collection of rock posters. Whee!
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:33 PM on December 25, 2007

Mrs. Cool Papa Bell and I drank too many mimosas and watched the kids play with the new toys. We promised to molest each other when they go down for a nap, which should be about now... Ahhh...

I would like to express my heartfelt appreciation for all things MeFi, including you commie nitwits I like to converse with. Thanks for keeping me honest.

Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:41 PM on December 25, 2007

> It's not about what you got. It's about what you GAVE.

I'll say. I got her a comb for her beautiful hair. I had to pawn my pocket watch to do it, but it'll have been worth it just for the look on her face when she opens her gift.
posted by ardgedee at 1:57 PM on December 25, 2007 [3 favorites]

Holiday visits. Of the good kind.
posted by ersatz at 2:15 PM on December 25, 2007

A Kitchen-Aid! Ladies and Gentlemen, my chocolate-chip cookies will now be even more delicious.
posted by schroedinger at 2:18 PM on December 25, 2007

I didn't get anything. Better than getting something bad, though.
posted by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 2:21 PM on December 25, 2007

So much stuff that was green, which is awesome because green is the best color, and food, so much food, oh the neverending food gotta eat again brb
posted by tyrantkitty at 2:24 PM on December 25, 2007 [2 favorites]

I got a tattoo (thank you, honey)! At least, I got a theoretical tattoo, as in, an agreement to pay for said tattoo once I figure out exactly what image and where I want it, and once I make the appointments with the lovely lady who puts ink in my skin. Wheee, tattoo!

The rest of my presents are stuck on the East Coast and won't get here for a few more days. Boo.
posted by gingerbeer at 2:29 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a tire.
The problem is, I was given it accidentally from the back of a Jeep while going 70 on the interstate.
So I also got a car that needs a new radiator and oil pan for sure, and probably some other repairs too.

Also, I got some money, books, and a ride to a great day with family and friends.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:33 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a huge pile of books, including PK's BibliOdyssey. (Books are pretty much what our family gives each other.) I also got a new alarm clock (it won't help), a few miscellaneous small tools (tools are always a good choice) and enough chocolate that my stretch marks will have stretch marks.
posted by maxwelton at 2:34 PM on December 25, 2007

I got this shotgun.
posted by rockhopper at 2:43 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a joke. Last night at dinner some 7-year-old relative of mine said that if he didn't get a "chihuahua Webkinz," he was going to kill Santa Claus. We thought that was so bizarre and hilarious that (now that the little kids aren't around) we can't stop threatening Santa's life or making repeated references to his death. During a conversational lull in the Christmas festivities today someone said, "I wish Santa Claus were alive to see this."
posted by tepidmonkey at 2:47 PM on December 25, 2007 [7 favorites]

I got an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!!!
posted by ericb at 2:55 PM on December 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

I got a Make Your Own Beer Kit and a Make Your Own Barbecue Sauce Kit.

It's gonna be an epic winter.
posted by yhbc at 2:56 PM on December 25, 2007

I got an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!!!
posted by ericb

Pfffff!!!! Mine has a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.
posted by The Deej at 3:01 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a hand-me-down but super-awesome iBook G4, the late model that runs at 1.2 ghz. I've really, really missed having a laptop in general, and I'm finding myself liking the newer version of OS X much more than I liked 10.1. More software available, better package-handlers for installing, better support, lots of awesome uber-nerd wares like Nessus, nmap and suchlike.

I'm giving books, music and art, because despite the fancy-pants laptop I'm still broke as hell.

Happy holidays to all.
posted by loquacious at 3:22 PM on December 25, 2007

I got my cold a few days early (family gives the best gifts, of course), so the new pairs of wool socks I received were just right.
posted by ssg at 3:28 PM on December 25, 2007

I got to take care of the fancy Christmas Eve dinner when the 'rents both came down with a stomach bug. It was fun but stressful--will she kill the tenderloin roast by over cooking it? (The answer was No, but it's never as good as Mom's). My nephews brought some Christmas Wafers from Mass, which introduced me to another cultural tradition I'd never heard of.
posted by Stewriffic at 3:38 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a beautiful Arts and Crafts rug and a mandoline to slice my veggies just so and heaps of socks and a soft little robe and an immersion blender and all sorts of Hello Kitty shit and books and more books. My family goes over the top at Christmas time. I love it. Viva consumerism.
posted by msali at 3:40 PM on December 25, 2007

*shoots ericb & the Deej's eyes out*
posted by jonmc at 3:42 PM on December 25, 2007

Luggage. I know I'm leaving town in a few weeks, but really guys, I get the hint...
posted by Roman Graves at 3:42 PM on December 25, 2007

Mark, you got a cast iron cornbread pan?? I'm waiting for my grandma to die so I can steal hers (30 years worth of flavor!).
posted by Roman Graves at 3:46 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a hip sweater from my daughter, a portrait from my son of him and his wife and her daughter (my first grandchild!) and my other son said, since he's a poor grad student, "My gift to you all is I am reducing my carbon footprint." Much laughter, hugs and sarcasm galore. We don't get together often enough. That was my best gift.
posted by wafaa at 3:56 PM on December 25, 2007

I got The Perverts Guide to Cinema on DVD, which I read about somewhere in teh blue.
Dude, is Slavoj Zizek Father Christmas or what?
posted by forallmankind at 4:13 PM on December 25, 2007

A shiny 17-35mm f2.8 zoom for my recently-developed camera package; now that I've cut my teeth on the 50mm 1.8, the new flexibility is awesome!

Best part, though, was hanging out with the family; I'm going through photos right now while sitting on the couch and in front of a fire with my dad as my mom naps in the other room. Pretty great.
posted by asuprenant at 4:19 PM on December 25, 2007

This MetaFilter thread is a complete toyzone.
posted by Eideteker at 4:54 PM on December 25, 2007

Overweight, I think. Also, drove halfway home, stopped for gas, realized ALL the presents were still my house over 40 minutes away...

yeah.

Both my nephew and niece were ill, so I expect to get a bonus gift of the sniffles by the weekend.

OH BUT THEN ITEM GOT ME THE SPICE GIRLS GREATEST HITS CD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ilu baby
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 4:57 PM on December 25, 2007

I gotst some Bacon Salt (2 different flavors!)

Me, too! I got three flavors. My wife bought them online the same night I went on and on about them after reading about them on the Blue. Cool.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 5:05 PM on December 25, 2007

jonmc, i got the punk rock book of lists, too, and spent a very happy hour picking out the mistakes and figuring out where they stole all the anecdotes from!
posted by AJaffe at 5:21 PM on December 25, 2007

Two Calphalon saute/omelet pans, the new Nigella Lawson and Jamie Oliver books, a new microplane grater, two silicone spatulas, a food mallet (for scallopine, etc.) and a couple of other foodie things.

I gave gift baskets of assorted cupboard-friendly gourmet food.

It was a good day.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 5:27 PM on December 25, 2007

My daughter made glass candy. She wanted to make pina colada flavored with red dye. She added the flavoring then poured in a bunch of red dye. You know what looks exactly like the red dye bottle? The peppermint flavoring bottle! After our eyes stopped watering (and our sinuses were TOTALLY cleared up) she decided to just go ahead and add the red dye anyway and see how peppermint/pina colada glass candy would taste. Verdict: excellent! So we gave that to friends and relatives.

In addition to the above-mentioned Pink Floyd hoodie, my daughter got me Pan's Labyrinth and Airplane! Woohoo! Sisters gave me gift cards. Starbucks, Borders... always the perfect gift for me!

It's not about what you got. It's about what you GAVE.
posted by Dave Faris

Now that's funny!

OK, OK, I gave my folks the complete best of Johnny Carson DVD set, and my daughter a Kitchen Aid stand mixer, a cookbook, The Daring Book for Girls, an assortment of tiny stuffed bears in sweaters, and a killer pair of shoes (pink herringbone pattern, high heel, with a bow). Yes, she is spoiled.
posted by The Deej at 5:28 PM on December 25, 2007

I also got yelled at for what I think is the BEST IDEA EVER.

1. Steal baby Jesus from display in front of church.
2. Go on road trip, bringing statue and Polaroid.
3. Let wacky hijinks ensue.
4. Scan Polaroids before mailing them back; assemble quirky blog.

The dude's stuffed in a storage locker somewhere the other eleven months out of the year, I thought it'd be a nice break, there was no reason for me to get glared at like that....
posted by cmyk at 5:28 PM on December 25, 2007

A copy of Mapping St. Petersburg and a nice warm shirt from my lovely wife; four Almodovar movies, The Motorcycle Diaries, and a few CDs from my insanely generous kid brother; various bottles of wine and jars of food; a box of Russian books from my pal Jim, whose grandmother was getting rid of them; but most of all the presence of my two grandsons for most of the day, and especially the almost-four-year-old demanding I read him the book I gave him and then wanting me to read it again right away. Yay for family Christmas!
posted by languagehat at 5:38 PM on December 25, 2007

languagehat is a grandfather?

Holy cow.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:45 PM on December 25, 2007

If any SF misanthropes, misfits and stragglers want someplace to go and hang out there's a potluck dinner, file-sharing party, music, and (eventually, later) the ritualistic watching of stupid cartoons and videos at the art space I share.

Call me on the number included from previous directions or email/msg me, and I'll check as often as possible. We'll probably be up until dawn or so, dinner in a couple or few hours. Bring food, booze, files/drives/computers/discs and/or simply yourself.

Cheers.
posted by loquacious at 5:47 PM on December 25, 2007

Awesome loquacious!

And if anyone is in Billings, Montana... um... I'm going to my ex-sis-in-law's house... uh... for snacks. And I'll be there a couple hours. But still! Call me!
posted by The Deej at 5:55 PM on December 25, 2007

Most importantly, for the fist time our three month old slept for more than 6 hours straight, letting my wife sleep in on Christmas morning. The rest was icing on the proverbial cake.
posted by ba at 6:07 PM on December 25, 2007

What I got for Christmas. It was a thrill a minute.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:19 PM on December 25, 2007

Some smell-good and a Harry Potter desk calendar and a Release Your Inner Bitch desk calendar. And some kickin Koss headphones. And a gorgeous girlfriend who's one year older. :)
posted by CwgrlUp at 6:27 PM on December 25, 2007

I'm Jewish and chagrined to admit that I went for Chinese with my family and watched a movie.
posted by sourwookie at 6:39 PM on December 25, 2007

Zé Pequeno: "Merry Christmas! What did you all get?"

Stiffed by my Secret Quonsar. :(
posted by IndigoRain at 6:55 PM on December 25, 2007

So the real answer, as I got to open presents after work.

A small pocketknife, for the carrying around at all times.
Colbert's book.
6 month of the Sunday Post.
A birdfeeder.
Some China (my mother-in-law is an expert thrift store scavenger).
posted by god hates math at 7:15 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a bottle of Pyrat rum and a bottle of 16-year-old Balvenie scotch. Then I got drunk.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:18 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a clogged sink, dog stink, and Pioneer fried chicken. Now I'm getting drunk.
posted by carsonb at 7:27 PM on December 25, 2007

I got 7 cult films (Grindhouse, Escape from New York, etc.), the new Gibson book, and a wallet from the company who made the Lord of the Rings cloaks.

Happy Geekmas!
posted by cowbellemoo at 7:29 PM on December 25, 2007

Mr. Pr0n and I decided not to give presents this year, but he did get me a bag of Swedish Fish. And I'll be damned, it's exactly what I wanted.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 7:32 PM on December 25, 2007

The standouts were an old beat-up antique carpenter's toolbox with ACME TOOLS burned in the side (supremely awesome) and a vintage moustache mug that features a man with a handlebar moustache on one side and the name JOHN inscribed in big letters on the opposite side, which is only slightly less awesome. Oh, and I got some cool running stuff too.

Nobody made a contribution to the Middleclasstool MacBook Pro Fund, the only thing I really had asked for, but I didn't expect them to. Nobody ever wants to give you just cash for Christmas.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:52 PM on December 25, 2007

I'm late to the party.

But I got a new bag! A great brown leather messenger bag with a laptop pocket. Is it bad that I'm really excited about that?
posted by backseatpilot at 7:54 PM on December 25, 2007

Most importantly, for the first time our three month old slept for more than 6 hours straight, letting my wife sleep in on Christmas morning. The rest was icing on the proverbial cake.

The year my neice was about that age at Christmas (well, a couple months older), I tentatively offered my brother and his wife a suplemental present: one night a month off for the next year. I'd thought they might be hesitant (everyone who's had a baby can laugh at that; what did I know?) -- instead I got back an instant "How about tomorrow?"(The one-night-a-month thing turned out to be cumbersome, though, so the deal now is that if they need me, they just ask. If I'm free or have something easily cancelable, I'll show. If I'm booked, I say so. Much simpler that way.)
posted by Karmakaze at 8:03 PM on December 25, 2007

A digital picture frame, most excellent present evah and a DVD of hours and hours of DJ Eros shows from our handsome son. W00t! And our lovely daughter made a LOTR-themed Christmas Eve meal and evening last night, which led us into today's festivities perfectly. And an awesome candle and card of cadiz shell from my sister in law, which we turned into our Christmas e-cards. A bottle of wine from my boss, whose family operates a winery. And I bought myself a new set of arthritis splints, since the old ones are worn out now. Hip hip hooray!
posted by Lynsey at 8:26 PM on December 25, 2007

Herpes.
posted by Balisong at 8:29 PM on December 25, 2007

on my lip.
posted by Balisong at 8:29 PM on December 25, 2007

Hooray for new splints! I feel your pain, Lynsey.

tugena13 got me a set of encyclopedias from 1954, a General Electric console hifi of similar vintage, and a reproduction of the Map from Time Bandits. Her folks bought me a knife set!
posted by jtron at 8:44 PM on December 25, 2007

Jeez, I've been following this thread all day so I might as well ante up.

Seattle got unexpected snow for Christmas. Me and Mrs. Bartfast went for a walk and I slipped and fell dramatically right on my ass in slow motion. It was pretty hysterical.

I got to watch my 90 year old grandmother discover video iChat thanks to the MacBook I gave to my sister. Pure magic talking to her 3000 miles away, she was absolutely astounded that the video phone had finally been perfected.

I got to watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy thanks to the paging operator forgetting that I was on call. There were no serious problems that I missed and by the end of Return of the King I was crying like a fucking baby, just like I always do. My wife made fun of me, just like she always does.

I got new slippers, a Star Wars Lego kit (my mom has been doing this every year since I was 20), and the book Schulz and Peanuts.

I also got laid.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:52 PM on December 25, 2007

Some money, bath stuff, clothes...

and an iPhone. Which I am currently posting from. :D
posted by MadamM at 8:55 PM on December 25, 2007

A USB oscilloscope!

We have a winner!
Can I borrow it?
posted by Chuckles at 9:06 PM on December 25, 2007

A Wii! And some games and such for that. Also, a nice blanket :)
posted by DMan at 9:11 PM on December 25, 2007

A gorillapod and a B&H giftcard
posted by Calloused_Foot at 9:27 PM on December 25, 2007

Chuckles: Next time you're in town, sure.
posted by aubilenon at 10:12 PM on December 25, 2007

I got my wife an iPhone (with a hypercard SIM so it works in Canada), and she gave me permission to buy a (used) Prius, which I did yesterday.
posted by birdsquared at 10:12 PM on December 25, 2007

I got a VIP ticket to Texas Frightmare Weekend in Feburary, which includes one of 250 extra extra special invites to the opening night 'celebrity party'. This means I get to meet, greet, and/or get drunk with luminaries like George Romero (including the entire reunited cast of 'Night of the Living Dead' and a bunch of zombies from his other films), Malcolm McDowell, Cassandra Peterson (Elvira!!!), Tom Savini, Dee Wallace Stone, the kid from 'The Omen', and Jim Wynorski.

Sadly, we just found out that Dario Argento has canceled his planned appearance. This knowledge hit like a cannonball to the back of our heads, but life goes on. In any case, my ladyfriend is better than your ladyfriends for giving me this gift.
posted by item at 10:22 PM on December 25, 2007

Hey, Indigo, don't get too down yet. Some of our secret quonsars are overseas in various and remote locales. It's completely possible that you didn't get stiffed, but just that your gift hasn't arrived yet.

While I am one of the late-secret-quonsars-from-overseas, IANYLSQFO, so it's also possible you just got stiffed.
posted by mosessis at 10:38 PM on December 25, 2007

22" monitor that is pretty sick. i have spent all day playing with it, making the laptop be the music playing, data processing little sister to her gorgeous bright flat screen beautiful big brother.

have i mentioned that i love my monitor? my monitor. let me show you it.
posted by mayfly wake at 10:43 PM on December 25, 2007

Whoo... I can't remember. I was too schnockered. But I'm sure it rocked.
posted by not_on_display at 10:45 PM on December 25, 2007

A strap to hold my head up. (Not kidding).
A car stereo with mp3 playback and a USB port.
A microphone for the family camcorder.
An as yet unknown gift from a friend I'll see next week.
Cash, some of which I used to acquire a 750GB hard drive.
A divx/DVD player.
posted by Clay201 at 3:28 AM on December 26, 2007

my monitor. let me show you it.

What is the original source of this meme? It always makes me laugh, but I'd like to know where it came from.
posted by languagehat at 5:27 AM on December 26, 2007

Head and a head cold.

my monitor. let me show you it.

What is the original source of this meme? It always makes me laugh, but I'd like to know where it came from.

Does it predate LOLcats? That's where I first noticed it.
posted by goo at 5:40 AM on December 26, 2007

I got a set of the Young People's Concerts by Leonard Bernstein and the 2nd season of the Muppet Show. I always get a couple nice sweaters or shirts but this year I didn't, Northwest also seems to have completely lost my luggage so I get to go clothes shopping on the day after Christmas. I got yelled at for an awesome idea too.

My parents got my niece and nephews Butterscotch, one of those robotic ponies. My sister and I were assembling it, I took the head out of the box and realized that we had the opportunity for the perfect Godfather moment.
posted by substrate at 5:42 AM on December 26, 2007

My Pokemons, let me show you them. (A worksafe page on an otherwise NSFW site)
posted by ardgedee at 6:10 AM on December 26, 2007

I got to spend the day watching my wife curse the TV as she played Oblivion on our new 360.

Lovely woman, my wife. But put a video game controller in her hand and she has a mouth that could make a drunken pirate blush.

Lounging around all day in bed with the cats, dogs, wife, and a new videogame is about the closest thing to a perfect Christmas I'm likely to encounter.
posted by quin at 7:42 AM on December 26, 2007

lleachie, that's terrible - I'll send good thoughts your way.

Me, I got a ring that's not my taste, but I dostill love my husband, and a 2-hour visit to the emergency vet.

Also, the in-laws gave me two different types of perfumes and scented lotion. WTF? If I smelled, I smelled like a turkey because of the six hours I spent cooking.

I'm going to bed - Merry Christmas.
posted by mitzyjalapeno at 7:45 AM on December 26, 2007

What did I get? Above all, a nasty cold. Feverish paranoid delusions about criminal disinformation campaigns. A whole lot of phlegm to swallow and subsequently vomit.
posted by Anything at 8:08 AM on December 26, 2007

I left my vibrator on the floor next to the bed in the guest room at Grandma's. I can't remember what I got now, but that's a little gift I gave, I guess. fuckfuckfuck
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:18 AM on December 26, 2007

What's so wrong about your grandma having a vibrator?
posted by Anything at 8:38 AM on December 26, 2007

It's not grandma's vibrator.
posted by goo at 8:41 AM on December 26, 2007

We got our own little Christmas for the first time! With my family all out of town, The Fella and I spent Christmas Eve with his family, then got to spend the 25th alone together. It was quiet and easy and festive.

The best thing I got*: My SO surveyed the pile of opened gifts and softly said, "I can't believe how well you know me, and how much you love me." And I feel the same way about all his gifts to me.

It was the best Christmas ever!

*The espresso machine is the second-best thing. Woo hoo! Espresso!
posted by Elsa at 8:44 AM on December 26, 2007

I got the Twin Peaks Gold Box Super Hyper Deluxe MegaCool DVD Box Set.

Mr. Lucinda got his USB turntable which he loves.

Our son got a bunch of different LEGO kits (two Exo-Force and two Bionicle). We put together three of them yesterday and when I left for work this AM, he was starting the fourth.
posted by Lucinda at 9:09 AM on December 26, 2007

I got earmuffs!!

What?
posted by SteveInMaine at 9:58 AM on December 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

A pair of Ganesh earrings from my son, collaged tiles from my daughter, a necklace from my boyfriend, a twin set from my mother, a record store gift certificate from one brother and, oh yeah, a 99 cent pack of expired turkey cold cuts from the other, possibly certifiable, brother.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:57 AM on December 26, 2007

Posting this from the iPod touch I got from the best girlfriend in the world (thanks, cutie!). But the best present is this entire week off with said cutie - no big plans, no real schedule, just hanging out together and doing whatever we want. Yay!
posted by rtha at 11:12 AM on December 26, 2007

Candy cane flavor pop rocks that don't taste anything like candy canes.
posted by Tehanu at 11:18 AM on December 26, 2007

Spice Girls tickets from my 2 daughters for the 3 of us! Swoony!
posted by thinkpiece at 11:38 AM on December 26, 2007

Leftover Jamaican Black Cake. I should be sober again some time in 2010.
posted by maudlin at 11:41 AM on December 26, 2007

I got: giftcards to Sephora, Best Buy, and Macy's, a star necklace, a makeup palette, blotting papers, a sweater, a fugass designer COIN PURSE and little toe separators (for pedicures). I think my mom is trying to tell me something. (She's been trying for years. I just don't care.)
posted by sperose at 1:03 PM on December 26, 2007

I got a visit from my sister that lives a few thousand miles away, she brought a well seasoned cast iron dutch oven (last night I cooked the best very-very-slowly-braised lamb shanks I've ever tasted).

My wife gave me an high technology fleece jacket to replace the cigarette burnt one I have been wearing for 11 years, and some art she made, extra cool.

My mom gave me the "ultimate trekking boots" and a bag full of Mexican candy and cigarettes. She recently got married, is in Argentina right now, and will finally be off my sister's back, best gift ever.

My company gave me a $200 apple store gift certificate, I got a gift for my wife and isolating in-ear headphones. No more listening to that one engineer going on and on on how he thought of that new architecture while making "shirtcocking in not an art" signs in burning man while naked.

A friend gave me a cholo beanie, just because I live in The Mission and am assumed by the local dealers to be a gringo (I love the look of surprise when I talk back in perfect Mexican).

I got myself a knife sharpener, a good paring knife (I like to dissect my fruit like a neurosurgeon), a temperature controlled soldering station, a bunch of free samples from Texas Instruments, AMD, MicroChip, Maxwell, etc...

And I am very very jealous of that USB oscilloscope, so far I just connect my outputs to a speaker and diagnose by ear.
posted by Dr. Curare at 2:09 PM on December 26, 2007

I got City of Heroes, a ton of Kurosawa films, three bottles of whiskey, two packs of unfiltered cigarettes, a harmonica, a hookah, a beautiful afghan my grandmother made, a set of bowls, some boots, and my amazingly superly awesome girlfriend made me a Portal-esque cake.

And I bought myself a copy of Dostoevsky's "The Idiot".

Then I bought a Philip K. Dick book, in case Dostoevsky proves too much for me, emotionally, which, sometimes, he does.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 3:49 PM on December 26, 2007

Ok, so final tally:

$500, gift cards (barnes and noble, best buy, ralphs, amc, outback, and shell gas), lots of "The Office" stuff, some fish seasoning rub, a nifty bottle opener, set of 15 Green Arrow comics written by Kevin Smith, 3 books (Who's your tv alter ego, shit happens, and an astrological guide), a fold-in duffel bag, and finally an airport TSA security strap.

Now I just have to figure out what to spend the cash on...
posted by Derek at 4:09 PM on December 26, 2007

Wife went above and beyond and got me a fancy garmin running computer - a heartrate monitor and GPS watch that will apparently do everything but run for me.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 5:24 PM on December 26, 2007

I got to sit around for hours while my infant nephew slept on my chest and my heart reawakened. Sometimes he raised his arms and shook his tiny fists in his sleep like a conductor cueing the second violin section.

I think I understand some things now. I got peace on earth for Christmas, as far as the eye could see. In my parent's living room, that meant just my nephew and me, but that's all it took to make it the best Christmas in a long time.
posted by breezeway at 5:40 PM on December 26, 2007 [7 favorites]

I got plane tickets to Florida and a Roomba for Chanukah, and this necklace, an ice cream maker and an heirloom chair for Christmas. And three feet of powder - too much for my SoCal family to fight into a decent sled hill. Wusses.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:57 PM on December 26, 2007

I got a paper-plate tamborine with my name in black crayon; a Hot Wheels Chevy Camaro; and a High School Musical cup with a drawing of a flower, a cocktail umbrella, and the cut-out rim of a paper plate taped to it. They were pretty much the best presents ever.

Happy Boxing Day, Kwaanza, and Epiphany!
posted by ormondsacker at 6:37 PM on December 26, 2007

But I wouldn't advise the OP to get himself a paper-plate tamborine. The resale value is pretty low.
posted by ormondsacker at 6:40 PM on December 26, 2007

Is it a bad sign when you get deodorant and incense?

Only if you don't realize it's a sign.
posted by pineapple at 7:45 PM on December 26, 2007

The Great Big Mulp: my amazingly superly awesome girlfriend made me a Portal-esque cake.

You mean... it's a lie? She made you lies for Christmas?!?!?!
posted by Kattullus at 8:26 PM on December 26, 2007

I got to sleep on a crappy futon in my parents living room and listen to my niece play on her new harmonica. My ears hurt and my back hurts and damnit I just want to go home. Which I will, tomorrow, during the ONE DAY this week that we'll actually get some significant snowfall, apparently.

If you're a handsome, rich, single mefite who lives somewhere that gets no winter; call me!
posted by Salmonberry at 9:02 PM on December 26, 2007

Move to LA, there's plenty of us (jews) here.
posted by Derek at 11:13 PM on December 26, 2007

I've got 2 and a half of those descriptors, Salmonberry. How's that?
posted by puke & cry at 11:31 PM on December 26, 2007

Ha, I rate a 2.5 myself. And that includes the most important one, no winter. Uh, that IS the most important one, isn't it?
posted by wendell at 11:40 PM on December 26, 2007

I got moneys from various relatives. Some of which (the cash, I mean) I spent here.
posted by katillathehun at 1:49 AM on December 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

If you're a handsome, rich, single mefite who lives somewhere that gets no winter; call me!

Is being a lady okay? I could relocate?
posted by jessamyn at 6:00 AM on December 27, 2007

Update: My family DID get together for Christmas, and it was okay. Mom (who still managed Christmas shopping before she died, due to the magic of the Internet) got me: one power drill (yay! I needed one!), a good set of plain white ceramic serving dishes and a passel of caroling Christmas kitty statues. Mom got my sweetie the Eccleston season of Dr. Who. My sister got me an electric wine bottle opener (!) and got Richard a diamond sharpening steel. My sweetie (voyageria) got me a charming kitty locket, while I got him some Star Wars stuff.

We also stayed for 5 nights at the Brightwood Inn in Utica, IL. Highly recommended if you want good food
posted by lleachie at 7:51 AM on December 27, 2007

I got to see an estranged terminal family member before she lost her cognition, and snow boots.
posted by mecran01 at 9:09 AM on December 27, 2007

puke & cry, you just want to use me in an experiment with your pet brainwashing parasite, don't you?

jessamyn: You, me, Mexico! We can do it, baby! You don't need to be rich, you just need to let me look at those sikrit mod screens and I'm aaaaaaaaaaaaall yours!

*on preview* lleachie & mecran01, I'm glad to hear Christmas will bring you some good memories of family members during what must be a very difficult time.
posted by Salmonberry at 11:54 AM on December 27, 2007

My Christmas came early this year! My parents bought me a car (which will probably constitute Christmas and birthday presents for the next five years!) and gave me a lot of money for my imminent trip to Singapore and Malaysia. I also got an early Christmas present from Monash Uni in the form of a scholarship for the next five years, so I'll walk out of uni a debt-free man. =)

I also got a fancy-shmancy GPS unit for my car from my girlfriend on Christmas Day. Life is good! =D
posted by PuGZ at 2:48 PM on December 27, 2007

Ho, Ho, Ho. December 25, 2007 6:10 AM Subscribe

Ho, Ho, Ho.
December 25, 2007 6:10 AM Subscribe