Hey, you know how I'm apparently your friendly neighborhood irrational/uptight/bitchy feminist? Well, my Batsignal is going off. 'Cause I'm bitchy/uptight/irrational/out to ruin your fun. And I don't like conversations that are all about
the hilarious inevitability of adults ogling some lady's rack.
I'm not a guy. I'm willing to accept that it is, in some mysterious way I don't fully understand, more difficult for a man not to look at boobs than it is for women not to look at boobs. Sure.
And I can also grasp that some men, for whatever reason, have had a harder time than others internalizing the "Hey man! Her EYES, look at her EYES." thing, and are asking for tips. Fine.
But I can't really get behind the back-patting, boys will be boys, check out my awesome new term for "breasts",
women are for staring at LOL AMIRITE! stuff developing in that thread.
Cranky joking aside, I'm not actually out to ruin the good time of a bunch of dudes going "Yes, I know exactly what you mean, and here's how I've dealt with it..." - but the tenor of some of these comments is edging into essentially making cracks about sexual harassment. Okay, I'm supposed to flag and move on, right? But, say, this 29 person's comment:
Anyways, you cannot look into a woman's eyes as if she were a man. That is just preposterous. Looking at a co-worker's dairy pillows is perfectly fine as long as you're not staring like a crazed pervert. Don't make it obvious, either. And it might be a good idea to not moan or touch yourself at the same time. Also, keep from talking about the juggs.
That comment makes me super uncomfortable, but there are unfortunately a number of much less egregious comments that (without the retarded har-har-har hyperbole, of course!) say essentially the same thing ("You can't help it! Just don't do it when she's looking and stuff.")
I am not casting some net of blame over the male denizens of AskMe when I say this: getting ogled by colleagues is a real and unpleasant part of the day of many female workers. And it's not all that hilarious when it happens to you. And holy shit guys, I'm a modest dresser, but I have big boobs, and if I ever bent over in front of a guy and he said
"Hahaha, your boobs, they distract me!", my blush wouldn't be a charmed "Oh, that's awkward, but I'm glad he said something!" kind of blush, it would be the "Should I burst into humiliated tears now or later?" kind.
I just don't know, folks. Haven't most workers had some lame training at some point that gives you tips about this? Is this really still a conversation we're having in such an unenlightened way?
posted by cortex at 3:36 PM on January 23