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January 28, 2008 1:00 PM   Subscribe

what's up with all the apologetic posts lately? since when did metafilter become a religious site where communal acceptance depends on strict penitence?
posted by yonation to Etiquette/Policy at 1:00 PM (193 comments total)

You're getting in big trouble for posting this. Let the reproachment begin.
posted by GuyZero at 1:03 PM on January 28, 2008


I apologize in advance for saying that this thread sucks.
posted by dhammond at 1:04 PM on January 28, 2008


You're about to be sorry you asked.
posted by whir at 1:05 PM on January 28, 2008 [14 favorites]


What does an apology have to do with religion?

Strict penitence? No one is demanding that people are apologizing. If people feel like they've said some things they regret, maybe they choose to apologize for them. Maybe not. Short of banning and time-outs, those people are still accepted in the community. Some people may no longer respect them, but in a community this large, that's bound to happen.

What's your problem?
posted by lunit at 1:06 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I agree it makes for a weird use of MetaTalk, but on the plus side, I think it's great people can apologize to each other and admit mistakes. People grow up, people move on, and people realize they messed things up in the past, but you don't often hear people say they were sorry for previous behavior, so it's good to see that here.

I wonder if it should just be a button in Recent Activity though. :)
posted by mathowie (staff) at 1:06 PM on January 28, 2008 [11 favorites]


since when did metafilter become a religious site where communal acceptance depends on strict penitence?

Since never? I don't think penitence is requried, I think people do it because they want to.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:06 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


that people apologize.
posted by lunit at 1:06 PM on January 28, 2008


Maybe everybody hit step nine at the same time.
posted by turaho at 1:09 PM on January 28, 2008 [7 favorites]


Since this?

Where there's penance, there's indugences. Sweet!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:10 PM on January 28, 2008


I demand that yonation apologize for questioning the apologetic threads!
posted by amyms at 1:12 PM on January 28, 2008


Penitence, you say?
Fuck that. And you.
posted by jmd82 at 1:14 PM on January 28, 2008


I feel sorry for the OP.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:14 PM on January 28, 2008


You've framed this in sort of a combative way, yonation; I'm not sure if you were trying to be silly or going for a dig, but the "strict penitence" thing is pretty far from the mark.

There's a (sparse) history of apology posts on Metatalk; they don't happen often, but now and then someone feels regret and says so. People also occasionally (as shown in your third link) apologize in-thread. Apologies-as-comments are probably more common than posts, but neither are thick on the ground around here. As comments, they're fine and every now and then something goes down around here where the absense of same seems almost conspicuous; but that's people being people.

All in all, the Metafilter Apologyfest seems like a non-event.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:15 PM on January 28, 2008


I think there's been a distinct increase in the social pressures for people to behave appropriately lately. People are getting called out on Metatalk for behavior that was once ignored or tolerated, even if it wasn't completely accepted. Despite the community's obvious appreciation for a good zinger (as evidenced by the number of favorites the one liners get), there's certainly a faction that is pressing the "guilt" buttons, and making it clear that they think certain behaviors are not acceptable.

Perhaps it partly stems from the personalities of the two newer admins, who are much more hands-on than Matt alone ever was.

The blanket apology threads and recriminating comments, while a nice gesture, are only as good as the actual behavioral changes that result.
posted by Dave Faris at 1:17 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry for even existing.
posted by yeoz at 1:18 PM on January 28, 2008


We'll forgive you yonation and accept you back into the fold. But you'll have to make 3 metafilter posts that get more than 5 favourites.
posted by jouke at 1:19 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm not sorry for anything, as I've never done anything wrong.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:20 PM on January 28, 2008


Can we have a MetaPenance page? MePe for short.
posted by katillathehun at 1:23 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


thanks dfaris for a nicer explication of what i meant. sure, mr cortex, maybe i was being a bit combative, but it seems like the kind of framing of what a "correct" mefi post vs an incorrect one is much more clearly defined now.

lunit, i can -- and will -- argue with you that it is a kind of religious, particularly perhaps christian, need and desire for forgiveness, one that plagues a lot of contemporary arenas and can be seen most clearly in presidential politics; ie clinton and monica, dean and the scream the subsequent self-flagellation...

perhaps cortex thinks its a nonevent but i disagree. it reminds of the ari fleischer people need to watch what they say kind of thing...
posted by yonation at 1:26 PM on January 28, 2008


i like your style kat
posted by yonation at 1:27 PM on January 28, 2008


Let the shunning begin!
posted by blue_beetle at 1:27 PM on January 28, 2008


Perhaps it partly stems from the personalities of the two newer admins, who are much more hands-on than Matt alone ever was.

I've been working here since the end of 2004, I don't think I have anything to do with the rash of apologies. yonation, you sort of sound like you have a chip on your shoulder about this since the answer to "since when did metafilter become a religious site where communal acceptance depends on strict penitence?" Is "Never. Up til and including now."
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:28 PM on January 28, 2008


one that plagues a lot of contemporary arenas and can be seen most clearly in presidential politics; ie clinton and monica, dean and the scream the subsequent self-flagellation..

So not only do you have a chip on your shoulder, but the chip is moldy as well?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:30 PM on January 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


Didn't you mix Kool-Aid and pickles, MrMoonPie? Blasphemy!

Christianity doesn't own the market on the concept of apology. If you're seeing something religious in that thread, yonation, you're bringing it with you.
posted by Tehanu at 1:31 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


yonation, I'm speaking from pretty rapt observation of metatalk for a few years straight: it just doesn't seem to happen with any frequency, and I don't think the two metatalk threads you linked are any sort of new pattern, but rather a fluke. There just doesn't seem to be any indication that something has changed lately.

I don't mean to dismiss the question of the role of apology in the social contract around here, but the way you presented this post is as likely to start a fight as it is to get an actual discussion of the topic going.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:33 PM on January 28, 2008


Maybe you're right, Jess. But I do think there's something to be said for the subtle pressures that you and Cortex bring to the site, intentional or not, and that the fruit of those pressures would be a long time coming.

But, Cortex is right. Two apologies don't make a trend.
posted by Dave Faris at 1:36 PM on January 28, 2008


I don't know, I take my friendships and relationships here at Metafilter at least as important as I take those in my day to day life. I feel closer to some posters on this board, than I do to any number of my co-workers, and I would hate to think that I had done or said something that had caused a manifestation of lingering ill will.

Conversations here can get heated at times. And I try to keep my tongue on a leash, but I'm sure I've said things that have offended people. I generally try and apologize later if it seems warranted, if for no other reason, I don't want some mislaid (or even worse, accurately laid) hostility towards me messing up a different conversation down the road.

If nothing else, I like the apology threads because they remind me that some of the other names that I see following the 'posted by' are real people who fuck up every once in a while. And if I can recognize that they are sorry for what they've done, I think more of them for asking for forgiveness, and I can hope that if needed, one day they will offer me the same opportunity.
posted by quin at 1:37 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Regret is often respectable, and we all want to be respected. *shrug*
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:38 PM on January 28, 2008


Well, I'm sorry that I missed the past two SF meetups, because I had a chance to physically accost both mathowie AND jessamyn in the very flesh.

The only moderator I've had a chance to violate in person was cortex, and that was ages ago.

Although he was very cuddly.
posted by scrump at 1:41 PM on January 28, 2008


I think that it is just attention-whoring. You want to make up for acting like a dick? Spare us the look-at-me bullshit and do better next time.
posted by ND¢ at 1:43 PM on January 28, 2008 [5 favorites]


Sometimes, it's the way to get out of a hole, Ambrosia.

Attention whoring? No, I don't think so. It can be that, but most of the apology posts I've seen are more about someone trying to put a clear demarkation between regrettable past behavior and more hopeful future.
posted by Doohickie at 1:51 PM on January 28, 2008


But I do think there's something to be said for the subtle pressures that you and Cortex bring to the site, intentional or not, and that the fruit of those pressures would be a long time coming.

Possibly so. I think we also model decent apologizing behavior -- I know I apologize when I screw up here and/or am harsh with someone in a way that I rethink later -- and that may just make it seem like something that's easier to do here lately.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:51 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I think violate the moderator is a nice euphemism.

Spare us the look-at-me bullshit and do better next time.

You're going to make grumblebee very angry. And I think it's great that people apologize if they've done something they're sorry about. But I do think you're right that those people should also try to do better in the future.
posted by sveskemus at 1:55 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry that my Matt Houston reference was killed in gman's latest deletion.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 1:58 PM on January 28, 2008


I am sorry that I opened this virtual steaming bag of crap!
posted by Mister_A at 1:58 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry I wasn't able to read MetaFilter at home all weekend, and I'm sorry that those no-good moderators haven't come up with an easy solution to fix the problem!!!

Oh, I'm sorry - just lost my temper for a minute there. Um, nothing you guys suggested last week worked, I'll call my ISP tonight and see if they can figure out the problem.
posted by yhbc at 2:02 PM on January 28, 2008


I think that we should have apologies.metafilter.com.

I'm not even joking. I think it would improve conditions on the site.
posted by Afroblanco at 2:04 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry that I forgot all about Matt Houston (and his lady-killin' stache) until your reference jogged memories that shouldn't be disturbed.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:05 PM on January 28, 2008


I was an asshole about Astrology a few months ago. I'm sorry.
posted by unixrat at 2:06 PM on January 28, 2008


I apologize to jonmc for saying that the post about his music blog sucked.
posted by BeerFilter at 2:07 PM on January 28, 2008


People should let sleeping dogs lie.

Especially when half the responses are "why are you apologizing? you weren't wrong." Just reignites the argument.
posted by smackfu at 2:07 PM on January 28, 2008


I was also sorry that I snarked in gman's thread about him being the star of deleted thread, but that was only because for a moment it seemed that the post would stay.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:09 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm not even joking. I think it would improve conditions on the site.

I have the most scathingly brilliant idea. We could build a Twitter stream just for Metafilter apologies. It could be moderated by a Mefite, who accepts apologies via MeFi Mail (to ensure accuracy) and moderates/posts them.

ThePinkSuperhero apologizes to AfroBlanco for blah blah blah.

ColdChef apologizes to The ghost of Ken Lay for blah blah blah.

Now that's a Twitter stream I would read religiously.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:11 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I think we should have a Mefi Apology Day. A day of remorse, right up there with Elephant Day and Giant Squid Day. We can all nurse our grudges until that day, and snark and sneer all over the place, and then feel smugly self-righteous when the day comes and we humbly apologize for being jerks the rest of the year.

Or, people could keep posting apologies on the grey. I have no problem with that. What's the big deal?
posted by misha at 2:14 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Clearly we need a "penitence/regret/contrition" flag so people can flag it and move on.
posted by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg at 2:15 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


Can we have a MetaPenance page? MePe for short.

BlessMe
posted by hydrophonic at 2:15 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah, why doesn't MeFi have its own holidays? There should be a comic sans day, for certain. Apology day. Blink tag day should probably be scheduled on Leap day.
posted by cashman at 2:17 PM on January 28, 2008


By the way, this is a great example of how apologies should be handled: Mil's Apology Homepage.
posted by misha at 2:17 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


A MetaFilter apology page? Yes. We could call it MeaCulpaFilta.
posted by fandango_matt at 2:19 PM on January 28, 2008


Clearly we need a "penitence/regret/contrition" flag so people can flag it and move on.

That's why I shut down Metatalk threads, actually. I'm seeking closure.

That actually kind of hurt to type.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:21 PM on January 28, 2008


whathaveigottadotomakeyouloveme?
posted by konolia at 2:22 PM on January 28, 2008


We could build a Twitter stream just for Metafilter apologies.

This would be so much better if it weren't just for giving apologies, but demanding them.

ND¢ demands an apology from mathowie for blah blah blah.

That I would love.
posted by ND¢ at 2:25 PM on January 28, 2008


This would be so much better if it weren't just for giving apologies, but demanding them.

Yesssssssssssss.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:26 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Seriously though mathowie, you know what you did. I'm waiting.
posted by ND¢ at 2:26 PM on January 28, 2008


Hey mods? Some new guy is rickrolling 3-year-olds over on the green. I'm sorry for not just flagging it and moving on.
posted by sveskemus at 2:29 PM on January 28, 2008


I was also sorry that I snarked in gman's thread about him being the star of deleted thread, but that was only because for a moment it seemed that the post would stay.

I'm sorry for flagging your and Dios' trolling dickish comments then.
posted by Big_B at 2:31 PM on January 28, 2008


And for the sins for which we incur the four death penalties of mathowie: stoning, burning, bannination, and strangling.
posted by kosem at 2:32 PM on January 28, 2008


Wow, that dude has a pretty stellar AskMe comment history so far.
posted by grouse at 2:33 PM on January 28, 2008


stoning, burning, bannination, and strangling.

Does anyone NOT read "strong burning sensation" instead of what it actually says there? No?

Sorry.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:35 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


all my apologies[mp3] as told by Wammo.
posted by nomisxid at 2:39 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry I didn't get to delete the rickroll.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:47 PM on January 28, 2008


It's a sad, sad situation.
posted by konolia at 2:51 PM on January 28, 2008


Hey cortex, you can delete THIS!

I'm sorry.
posted by grouse at 2:52 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry, so sorry.
posted by konolia at 2:53 PM on January 28, 2008


Sorry Big_B for pointing out the obvious. It doesn't take an IQ above 30 to see that the guy in question has been on a spree lately with the sole intent/hope of getting called out by making crappy posts with wholly inappropriate links and tags every day. But my apologies for pointing the obvious there.
posted by dios at 2:53 PM on January 28, 2008


Who's sorry now?
posted by konolia at 2:54 PM on January 28, 2008


We already had an apology thread.. this is so 2005.
posted by Duncan at 2:56 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Lo Siento.
posted by konolia at 2:59 PM on January 28, 2008


STOP APOLOGIZING!


I'm sorry
posted by louche mustachio at 3:01 PM on January 28, 2008


If you don't want MeFi getting all soft and limp, I'm perfectly willing to call out any poster for being a shitwhistle for no reason whatsoever. Just pick a name.

except cortex, I think he's pretty keen
posted by Mikey-San at 3:01 PM on January 28, 2008


Sorry...
posted by konolia at 3:01 PM on January 28, 2008


This thread was worth it just for the word "shitwhistle".
posted by scrump at 3:03 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry that scrump missed the last meetup. How're you feeling, scrump?
posted by rtha at 3:09 PM on January 28, 2008


Looking out over the East River from my jail cell, and still running for public office, I realize that I have taken several actions in my life for which I owe public apologies.

Once, I won a supermarket sweepstakes even though my second cousin was a box boy in that very store. I would like to apologize to Safeway Food, Inc., and its employees. I would like to apologize to my family, who have stood by me, and especially to my wife Karen. A wiser and more loyal spouse could not be found.

When I was twenty-one, I smoked marijuana every day for one year. I would like to apologize for the next fifteen years of anxiety attacks and drug-related phobias, including the feeling that when Ed Sullivan introduced Wayne and Shuster he was actually signaling my parents that I was high. I would like to apologize to my wife Karen, who still believes in me, and to the Marijuana Growers Association of Napa Valley and its affiliates, for any embarrassment I may have caused.

I would also like to mention a little incident that took place in the Holiday Inn in Ipsilante, Michigan, during that same time. As I was lying in bed in Room 342, I began counting the ceiling tiles. Since the room was square, it was an easy computation, taking no longer than the weekend. As Sunday evening rolled around, I began to compute how many imaginary ceiling tiles it would take to cover the walls and floor of my room. When I checked out of the hotel, I flippantly told the clerk that it would take twelve hundred and ninety-four imaginary ceiling tiles to fill the entire room. Two weeks later, while attempting to break the record for consecutive listenings to "American Pie," I realized I had included the real tiles in my calculation of imaginary tiles; I should have subtracted them from my total. I would like to apologize to the staff of the Holiday Inn for any inconvenience I may have caused, to the wonderful people at Universal Ceiling Tile, to my wife Karen, and to my two children, whose growth is stunted.

Several years ago, In California, I ate my first clam and said it tasted "like a gonad dipped in motor oil." I would like to apologize to Bob 'n' Betty's Clam Fiesta, and especially to Bob, who I found out later had only one testicle. I would like to apologize to the waitress, June, and her affiliates, and to the DePaul family dog, who suffered the contents of my nauseated stomach.

There are several incidents of sexual harassment I would like to apologize for:

In 1992, I was interviewing one Ms. Anna Floyd for a secretarial position when my pants accidentally fell down around my ankles as I was saying, "Ever seen one of these before?" Even though I was referring to my new Pocket Tape Memo Taker, I would like to apologize to Ms. Floyd for any grief this misunderstanding might have caused her. I would also like to apologize to the Pocket Tape people and their affiliates, and to International Hardwood Designs, whose floor my pants fell upon. I would especially like to apologize to my wife Karen, whose great understanding fills me with humility.

Once, in Hawaii, I had sex with a hundred-and-two-year-old male turtle. It is hard to argue that it was consensual. I would like to apologize to the turtle, his family, the Kahala Hilton Hotel, and the hundred or so diners who were eating at the Hilton's outdoor café. I would also like to apologize to my loyal wife Karen, who had to endure the subsequent news item in the "Also Noted" section of the Santa Barbara Women's Club Weekly.

In 1987, I attended a bar mitzvah in Manhattan while wearing white gabardine pants, white patent-leather slippers, a blue blazer with gold buttons, and a yachting cap. I would like to apologize to the Jewish people, to the state of Israel, to my family, who have stood by me, and to my wife, Karen, who has also endured my seventeen affairs and three out-of-wedlock children. Further, I would like to apologize to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, for referring to its members as "colored people." My apology would not be complete if it didn't include my new wife, Nancy, who is of a pinkish tint, and our two children, who are white-colored.

Finally, I would like to apologize for spontaneously yelling the word "Savages!" after losing six thousand dollars on a roulette spin at the Choctaw Nation Casino and Sports Book. When I was growing up, the meaning of this word in our household closely approximated the Hawaiian "Aloha," and my use of it in the casino was meant to express "Until we meet again."

Now, on with the campaign!

By Steve Martin
Pure Drivel
Hyperion Press, 1998
posted by fandango_matt at 3:09 PM on January 28, 2008 [10 favorites]


We're So Sorry Uncle Albert. We're So Sorry If We Caused You Any Pain.
posted by ericb at 3:11 PM on January 28, 2008


argue with you that it is a kind of religious, particularly perhaps christian, need and desire for forgiveness, one that plagues a lot of contemporary arenas and can be seen most clearly in presidential politics; ie clinton and monica, dean and the scream the subsequent self-flagellation...

Eck. Please apologize. And say three hail Metafilters. And go be nice to some undeserving anon posting a trainwreck of a Dear AskMe. And then we'll consider the weight of your soul.
posted by desuetude at 3:14 PM on January 28, 2008


cashman wrote...
Yeah, why doesn't MeFi have its own holidays? There should be a comic sans day, for certain. Apology day.

This is an excellent point. In fact I think we should have a day of mourning ever August 5th, to commemorate the first youtube link.
posted by tkolar at 3:16 PM on January 28, 2008


Sorry I jacked off outside of your window while you were sleeping. I thought you'd never know.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:18 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry that my hip and cool swimming pool railing wasn't carrying a moleskine.
posted by wemayfreeze at 3:19 PM on January 28, 2008


Aw crap
posted by hortense at 3:26 PM on January 28, 2008


Here's the Very Sorry Song.
Won't you help and sing along?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:32 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


"what's up with all the apologetic posts lately? since when did metafilter become a religious site where communal acceptance depends on strict penitence? "

You've obviously never woken up suddenly sober.

Oh, I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog.
posted by klangklangston at 3:39 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry we didn't do this sooner.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:42 PM on January 28, 2008


Apologies won't cut it, we need satisfaction demanded and full-on duelling: 20paces.metafilter.com.
More seriously, in a diverse world I think all you can expect are a set of minimum standards of behaviour from your peers in any collective endeavour, and good manners are a key component in achieving that.
In next week's episode of "The Bleedin' Obvious,": Abiezer takes a bold "pro-" stance on washing your hands before a meal and kindness to small animals.
posted by Abiezer at 3:47 PM on January 28, 2008


Abiezer: 20paces.metafilter.com

Allow me to suggest broadswordsinapit.metafilter.com.

I'm sorry for underestimating how fucking great you all are. You're pretty dang great.
posted by carsonb at 3:51 PM on January 28, 2008


The obvious solution is that we need mathowie and pb to code a ban lottery, stat.

Once that is complete, every deleted comment will come with a free ticket into the lottery for that day.

Fair enough?
posted by prostyle at 3:57 PM on January 28, 2008


Apologies won't cut it, we need satisfaction demanded and full-on duelling.
posted by konolia at 4:02 PM on January 28, 2008


Geek fight!
posted by Tehanu at 4:10 PM on January 28, 2008


Nerd fight!
posted by Tehanu at 4:18 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm perfectly willing to call out any poster for being a shitwhistle for no reason whatsoever.

It should definitely be the person who said "sweater puppies" on the green. That was unforgivable.

Also, I apologize for saying "sweater puppies". You should call me out too. But please be sure to apologize to me nicely afterwards. Him, I don't care about.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:32 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry you are all a bunch of god damn hand-wringing crybabies.
posted by absalom at 4:43 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. It's been a long day.
posted by absalom at 4:44 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry you think that was uncalled for.
posted by grouse at 4:47 PM on January 28, 2008


Although it's nice to see people being a little more thoughtful of others, I kind of agree with ND[cent] in the sense that if you really mean it, perhaps MeFi Mail is a better way to hash out any personal conflicts. It gives other people no real chance to be smartasses.
posted by piratebowling at 4:47 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry! Look how sorry I am! Aren't I great for being so sorry? Will you forgive me, or are you a heartless asshole? I'm sorry!
posted by Sys Rq at 5:07 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I would like to apologize in advance for everything I'll eventually say that pisses you off. Except you. You know who you are. And now that we have this out of the way...
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:07 PM on January 28, 2008


You must have behaved yourself pretty well your entire life, yonation.

Except for the soothing effects of apologies, I believe I might have been killed by an angry mob before I was nine. My parents were sure worried about it.
posted by jamjam at 5:20 PM on January 28, 2008


IT GOES AROUND YOUR LEG LIKE SUCH METAFILTER.
posted by The Straightener at 5:21 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Can't we just all have our own personal BRAND NEW DAYTM and get over it?
posted by blue_beetle at 5:38 PM on January 28, 2008


Y'all are a bunch of sorry motherfuckers.
posted by deborah at 5:39 PM on January 28, 2008


I am sorry for swearing.

Not really.
posted by deborah at 5:40 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. It's been a long day.

Sorry you had a long day.
posted by jerseygirl at 5:41 PM on January 28, 2008


I think that we should have apologies.metafilter.com.

I'm not even joking. I think it would improve conditions on the site.
posted by Afroblanco at 4:04 PM on January 28 [+] [!]


That's it, Afroblanco! I've been treating you like shit long enough. ApMe.
posted by Doohickie at 5:43 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry I've been lurking since 2001 or thereabouts and I'm only now throwing $5 Matt's way.
posted by penduluum at 5:43 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry that I can't be more of a douchy, trollish fucking asshole to all you fuckers.

After all, I fucking HATE all of you.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:48 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


You know what? Forget what I said earlier. You're all shitwhistles.
posted by Mikey-San at 5:51 PM on January 28, 2008


Love means never having to say you're sorry. Love Story
yonation prefers that we quit with the apologies already. MetaTalk
Ergo yonation loves us more than perhaps we should be strictly comfortable with. LOGIK
posted by onlyconnect at 5:56 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'm sorry I've been lurking since 2001 or thereabouts and I'm only now throwing $5 Matt's way.
posted by penduluum at 7:43 PM on January 28 [+] [!]


That's okay, we knew you'd swing back around. ;-)
posted by Doohickie at 6:03 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Metafilter means never having to say you're sorry.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:04 PM on January 28, 2008


Metafilter is love.
posted by waraw at 6:04 PM on January 28, 2008


Nellie McKay says it best (although she did clean up the lyrics a bit for TV)
posted by wendell at 6:06 PM on January 28, 2008


And this may indeed be the sorriest MetaTalk thread EVAH.
posted by wendell at 6:07 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry!
(I'm sorry about the poor quality)
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 6:12 PM on January 28, 2008


Sometimes this place is like a weird cult.

So uh...anyone flame out yet? NO?? Well screw this then, I'm going to go watch chimp boy give his final state of the union.
posted by Skygazer at 6:15 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm an atheist, and I apologize.
posted by Bugbread at 6:19 PM on January 28, 2008


(Er, I mean, "I'm an atheist, and when I do something I feel bad about, I apologize", not "I'm an atheist, and I apologize for being an atheist")
posted by Bugbread at 6:19 PM on January 28, 2008


"Metafilter means never having to say you're sorry."

Weren't you banned? Twice?

This IS forgiveness then.
posted by klangklangston at 6:22 PM on January 28, 2008


I am sorry I read this entire thread.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 6:25 PM on January 28, 2008


Weren't you banned? Twice?

Not in any meaningful sense, no.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:28 PM on January 28, 2008


Apparently not.
posted by klangklangston at 6:33 PM on January 28, 2008


I banned myself both times.

First, I banned myself because I needed to find myself. Later, having found myself, I created a new account. Dissatisfied with my new account name, I asked Matt to unban my old account, and he graciously did so. I then banned my new account so as to avoid sockpuppeting.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:37 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry for secretly wishing for an entirely meaningful ban of sources of semantic tedium and public acts of predictable masturbatory narcissism.

I'm also sorry for being a compulsive cacocaliac.
posted by isopraxis at 7:02 PM on January 28, 2008


fandango_matt: Ipsilante, Michigan

And now you owe Ypsilanti an apology
posted by Horken Bazooka at 7:04 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry for secretly wishing for an entirely meaningful ban of sources of semantic tedium and public acts of predictable masturbatory narcissism.

I don't think that's a secret anymore.

I'm also sorry for being a compulsive cacocaliac.

I don't know what that means, but I have a feeling you should be. That's not like 2girls1cup or something, is it?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:07 PM on January 28, 2008


what's up with all the apologetic posts lately? since when did metafilter become a religious site where communal acceptance depends on strict penitence?

Ok, so the 23rd was the earliest you noticed these posts. It is now the 28th, so it's been a full 5 days with 3 apologetic comments. Let's say for the sake of argument, Metafilter gets 100 comments a day. So that multiplied by 5 days would be 500. So 3 out of 500 comments would be about 0.6 percent of the whole, with the other 99.4 percent being mostly snark. Gosh, that is strict penitence!
posted by MaryDellamorte at 7:10 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


First, I banned myself because I needed to find myself. Later, having found myself, I created a new account. Dissatisfied with my new account name, I asked Matt to unban my old account, and he graciously did so. I then banned my new account so as to avoid sockpuppeting.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:37 PM on January 28 [+] [!]


I'm sorry you got away with that while my poor dead bunnyfire account lies mouldering in the metagrave.
posted by konolia at 7:11 PM on January 28, 2008


Cortex did immediately express remorse. I think he was sleepy. It happens.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:13 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry to tell you this, Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America, but that couldn't possibly be yourself you found, because I have your self in a cage behind my house, along with a few other selves who got lost around MetaFilter the last few months. But there is a nice family from Grover Beach who have expressed an interest in adopting your self; they're coming back next weekend with their kids and their cat to make sure your self gets along with everybody. I hope it works out; your self has been getting into fights with quonsar's self.
posted by wendell at 7:14 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


Since I posted one of the apology threads, I'll speak for myself.

I received a MeMail callout from somebody who wasn't even involved in the thread, who found my tone offensive & inappropriate. In hindsight, there were at least a few things I said that I regretted, and it made sense that if she was offended, then others probably were, too. Also, there was no real need to try to start a shitfight over the gaze. Back to the point, because I had no idea who else might have been offended, a public mea culpa was the only way to go, because obviously I can't email those people if I don't know who they are. There was also the side-issue of the people who left over that thread, who wouldn't be mailable anyway, but who might sometime return for a lurk.

I think some good definitely came of it - what I read of my apology thread seemed to contain a lot of useful suggestions for conduct in sexism-related threads to avoid flameouts & misunderstandings.

I disagree about the "communal acceptance depends on strict penitence" thing. Probably more that I realised that it's silly, offensive & non-constructive to drop ill-considered attempts at humour & plainly nasty terminology into a thread that's already pretty much guaranteed to become an antagonistic trainwreck.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:15 PM on January 28, 2008 [4 favorites]


I'm not sorry in the least. Not one little whit. You all deserve whatever wrath and scorn I choose to rain down on your sniveling sorry hateful heads. Now piss off.
posted by madamjujujive at 7:17 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


/ opposite day
posted by madamjujujive at 7:17 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


opposite day? but i just tagged you with the double-opposite flag. that makes the score elephant to cheesecake, in my favour.

*and* you've stepped into the spontaneous poetry zone! start reciting!
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:24 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I have your self in a cage behind my house, along with a few other selves who got lost around MetaFilter the last few months.

Free quonsar!
posted by ND¢ at 7:25 PM on January 28, 2008


I apologize to all you asswipes I have called out over the years. You deserved it, but I was intemperant and grouchy and you deserved a more thorough, more logical, dressing down. Sorry. Nest time I will try harder.
posted by caddis at 7:26 PM on January 28, 2008


Nest time I will try harder.

Yes, you really are the cock of the walk.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:31 PM on January 28, 2008


That I am, and I am currently nesting. When I come out I will roar, or at least moan really loudly. ;)
posted by caddis at 7:32 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry caddis can't spell "next".
posted by Quietgal at 7:33 PM on January 28, 2008


Free quonsar!

Say, that *is* a good deal! I had to pay $1.50 for mine.
posted by Doohickie at 7:35 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


I regret nothing
posted by b1tr0t at 7:36 PM on January 28, 2008


spontaneous poetry:
Why
does it Mark
Twain It has long distance?
A: Because that
was younger,
I was younger, I shall be cancelled due
to become a Because that was younger, I was
her already impeccable
nails not
for the mind, ya
know. all
about the
little things that was
younger, I was her name.
Excellent time to
rip
its
head off

I pass the spontaneous poetry baton to Quietgal
posted by madamjujujive at 7:41 PM on January 28, 2008


Were you channeling Eichman, there, b1tr0t, or Edith Piaf?
posted by misha at 7:48 PM on January 28, 2008


*intercepting baton from Quietgal*

This Is Just To Say

I have snarked
at the comments
that you posted
to MetaTalk

and which
you were probably
hoping
would mean something

Forgive me
they were irresistable
so ripe
and so wrong

*back to you, Quietgal*
posted by onlyconnect at 7:57 PM on January 28, 2008 [2 favorites]


*and* you've stepped into the spontaneous poetry zone! start reciting!

This is just to apologize

I have shit in
the thread
that called out
a touchy issue

and which
you were hoping
would
be constructive.

Forgive me
I was a douche
so trollish
and so wrong.

[Ubu using your words makes me realize the words you chose are harsher than the ones I would use. But I'm leaving them in to poetrize your apology. I hope you don't mind.]

On preview, I am sorry onlyconnect had the same idea and was faster than me.
posted by Tehanu at 8:16 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


i apologize for not reading or caring about any of the sexism threads.

I think it's cool that chicks have opinions about stuff though.

i apologize for my last sentence.
posted by empath at 8:29 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


MeTa is read
as much as The Blue.
Post an "I'm sorry."
and get a "Fuck you."
posted by BeerFilter at 8:32 PM on January 28, 2008 [6 favorites]


You might as well go for broke and tell us that you think it's "cute" that chicks have opinions about stuff.

You'll never get into trollhalla being all wishy-washy, son.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 8:34 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry, I suck at trolling. My heart's just not in it.
posted by empath at 8:37 PM on January 28, 2008


silence falls on blue.
under the bridge, something stirs -
lolboobie flameout!
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:39 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry I caused all that cancer.
posted by krinklyfig at 8:42 PM on January 28, 2008


First, I banned myself because I needed to find myself. Later, having found myself, I created a new account. Dissatisfied with my new account name, I asked Matt to unban my old account, and he graciously did so. I then banned my new account so as to avoid sockpuppeting.

Maybe you should just blow your head off next time?
posted by puke & cry at 9:15 PM on January 28, 2008


i'm sorry and really happy that i started this thread. the two can coexist.

re: religious:

In the Middle Ages, Adam the Great created the manuals of confession and constituted a literary genre. These manuals were guidebooks on how to obtain the maximum benefits from the sacrament. There were two kinds of manuals: those addressed to the faithful, so that they could prepare a good confession, and those addressed to the priests, who had to make sure that no sins were left unmentioned and the confession was as thorough as possible. The priest had to ask questions, being careful not to suggest sins that perhaps the faithful had not thought of and give them ideas. Manuals were written in Latin and in the vernacular. See Les manuels de confession en castillan dans l'Espagne médiévale (in French)[1] about manuals of confession in medieval Spain. Various guidebooks for confession also appear frequently in the Eastern Church.

but its true, its more the social contract bit, which is relatively implicit, that irked me at this point. cortex i agree, i meant to bring up the point by way of reference.
posted by yonation at 9:23 PM on January 28, 2008


I think it's cool that chicks have opinions about stuff though.

I apologize for that.
posted by maxwelton at 9:25 PM on January 28, 2008


spontaneous poetry baton


sorrrry
posted by dersins at 9:25 PM on January 28, 2008


whoops that religion bit was not as pertinent as i thought. give me a moment.
posted by yonation at 9:26 PM on January 28, 2008


Steve Martin can apologize for not knowing how to spell Ypsilanti.
posted by BinGregory at 9:35 PM on January 28, 2008


*sigh* Far too eager - Horken Bazooka beat me to it. Sorry!
posted by BinGregory at 9:43 PM on January 28, 2008


I think we would find more bards in this thread if through some very minor editing the spontaneous poetry baton were transformed into spontaneous poetry bacon. ~sizzle~
posted by onlyconnect at 9:51 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry I can't think of an amusing joke to add to this thread.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:52 PM on January 28, 2008


You'll never get into trollhalla being all wishy-washy, son.

you'll never get into trollhalla, either, tex - no matter how many times you pay 5 bucks to resurrect yourself and try again
posted by pyramid termite at 9:53 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm also sorry that that last comment actually was a joke, but that it wasn't very amusing.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:53 PM on January 28, 2008


Hey, my pals are all here. Thanks for showing up with your pearls of wisdom!
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:00 PM on January 28, 2008


anything for a pearl necklace, right, tex?
posted by pyramid termite at 10:03 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm not really sure what you mean, but I'm going to disagree.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:05 PM on January 28, 2008


Just as well you're back in your original identity, MPDSEA-- now I will be tempted no longer to point out to you how much the new one sounded like a Fire Island private-party chaps band.
posted by jamjam at 10:25 PM on January 28, 2008


Well, if you're going to be such a fucking drama queen that you like to play tag with the disable account button, we're probably all better off without you.
posted by puke & cry at 10:34 PM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite]


And hopefully the next time you decide to fuck off, the admins won't let you back in.
posted by puke & cry at 10:38 PM on January 28, 2008


I'm sorry I'm not sorry for agreeing with p&c... I think.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:50 PM on January 28, 2008


<obligatory>
MetaTalk: I'm not really sure what you mean, but I'm going to disagree.
</obligatory>
posted by cgc373 at 11:00 PM on January 28, 2008


(a Monty Python moment)

Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT!
Oh I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
I see, well, that explains it.
You want room 12A, Just along the corridor.
Thank you very much. Sorry.
Not at all.
Thank You.
Stupid git!
posted by wendell at 11:26 PM on January 28, 2008


posted by Horken Bazooka fandango_matt: Ipsilante, Michigan And now you owe Ypsilanti an apology

I demand you apologize for demanding I apologize for something for which I neither owed you an apology nor you had a right to demand an apology from me.
posted by fandango_matt at 12:00 AM on January 29, 2008


I am not sorry that this thread has ground to a halt.
posted by Cranberry at 12:28 AM on January 29, 2008


I'm sorry I lurk too much.
posted by AD_ at 1:22 AM on January 29, 2008


And hopefully the next time you decide to fuck off, the admins won't let you back in.

Unlikely! I expect you have years of ankle biting to look forward to.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:00 AM on January 29, 2008


I thought you'd go for a "pearls before swine" jokes. I'm only sorry that I can't figure out who are the pearls and who are the swine.
posted by absalom at 6:19 AM on January 29, 2008


By which I mean: several of ya'll clearly deserve each other.
posted by absalom at 6:22 AM on January 29, 2008


Spam, spam, spam...
posted by konolia at 6:23 AM on January 29, 2008


I'm confused. Who was Mr. President Dr. Steve before (and after, I guess) he was Mr. President Dr. Steve again? Does everyone know this but me?
posted by onlyconnect at 6:37 AM on January 29, 2008


I'm sorry about those boogers that were flicked behind your couch when you went to the bathroom.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:40 AM on January 29, 2008


Haha! You have outed yourself as a numbskull non-cabalite, onlyconnect, you dimwitted upper-middle-class twit!

I'm sorry for that, I thought we were still in "abuse".
posted by Mister_A at 6:42 AM on January 29, 2008


onlyconnect: I believe the order you're looking for goes something like this:

Mr. President Dr. Steve Grover Elvis Cleveland America
Benjamin Harrison
Mr. President Dr. Steve Grover Elvis Cleveland America
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:48 AM on January 29, 2008


*snorts, sits up, rubs eyes*

I'm sorry I was asleep and missed the poetry baton!
posted by Quietgal at 7:22 AM on January 29, 2008


Good God, this is why his name should really just be abbreviated "Fucko." Stop yammering about it, the guy's got a complex.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:48 AM on January 29, 2008


Unless we're planning to turn this into a referendum on why in the fuck Steve isn't banned (dude: it is a mystery), I propose we lock this thread.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 10:21 AM on January 29, 2008


I second that emotion.
posted by Skygazer at 10:30 AM on January 29, 2008


Not the last comment.
posted by grouse at 10:50 AM on January 29, 2008


It is, once again, my duty to inflict Dream Theater upon you: Repentance

Cool idea for a song, it just doesn't really work IMO...
posted by LordSludge at 11:19 AM on January 29, 2008


I apologize to jonmc for saying that the post about his music blog sucked.

Apologize to hellbient, he's the one who made it.
posted by jonmc at 5:15 PM on January 29, 2008


MSCBDEsomethingsomething: ...Dissatisfied with my new account name, I asked Matt to unban my old account, and he graciously did so.

Yeah, boy, are we glad your keen aesthetic sense won out on that one. Wow.
posted by spiderwire at 10:51 PM on February 1, 2008 [1 favorite]


Now that The MeFite Formerly Known as Tex has returned to being MPDSEA, who is going to get custody of the Wily Roundup Boys? Maybe corTEX?
posted by wendell at 2:33 PM on February 2, 2008


I hate to be the one to break ugly news like this, but the Wily Roundup Boys all died in a plane crash earlier this week. Contribution undeniable, truly an icon, etc.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:54 PM on February 2, 2008


what will monsanto do now without the wily roundup boys?
posted by pyramid termite at 2:59 PM on February 2, 2008 [3 favorites]


what will monsanto do now without the wily roundup boys?

genetically engineer new, improved ones, duh
posted by spiderwire at 6:56 PM on February 2, 2008


. for the WRBs

and Monsanto's come up with a new Roundup formula that is 100% boy-free. It's about time.
posted by wendell at 8:25 PM on February 2, 2008


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