Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to MetaTalk callouts

Point out, I shall, that idiosyncratic phrasing and true emotional depth at odds should not be. Less mocking it is, more an interesting syntactical diversion it serves as.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:22 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

If spoke like Yoda, more respect I would get?

if respect you crave, wrong thread you are in. sticker-thread the place for you is.
posted by stubby phillips at 12:23 PM on May 20 [3 favorites]

The only joke funnier than a grammar joke is a meta joke.

Or.. wait.. did I mean less funny?
posted by Plutor at 12:26 PM on May 20

This is as good a place as any to note that my fiancé often ends his voicemails to me with "Love you, I do" in his best Yoda voice.
posted by desjardins at 12:28 PM on May 20 [2 favorites]

Fuck with the Jesus, you do not.
posted by shmegegge at 12:29 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

You think that's romantic desjardins? Every time I climax I let out with my best wookie scream at the top of my lungs while staring right into my partners eyes intently. E-mail's in the profile ladies.
posted by ND¢ at 12:35 PM on May 20 [10 favorites]

Soviet Union, Yoda like you talks in.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:37 PM on May 20 [9 favorites]

A fish, my pants contain.
posted by cortex at 12:38 PM on May 20 [6 favorites]

Of course on the evenings when I am going solo and my partner is asleep and she is awoken to an incredibly loud wookie scream and me staring right in her eyes while climaxing, that can be a bit disconcerting I am told. But romantic nonetheless.
posted by ND¢ at 12:38 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

I routinely shout "I SENSE COUNT DOOKU" immediately before delivering a triumphant Cleveland steamer. I thought it was romantic; the restraining order says otherwise but what the fuck do nuns know?

And it's "wookiee," laser-brain.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:41 PM on May 20 [2 favorites]

ruined this, you have.
posted by jessamyn at 12:41 PM on May 20 [3 favorites]

I want it out to point that we in the Dutch so prate.
posted by jouke at 12:42 PM on May 20 [2 favorites]

*lets the wookiee win*
posted by dersins at 12:42 PM on May 20

Forever sleep.
posted by dirtdirt at 12:46 PM on May 20

ruined this, you have.

Faith, I have, that fix this, we can.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:47 PM on May 20

Of you, jouke, a fan am I.

The Dutch in general do I like.
posted by Mister_A at 12:48 PM on May 20

*lets ~~the wookiee~~ win, the wookie*

Fixed for you that.
posted by cortex at 12:50 PM on May 20

You the spelling of wookiee have rebroken.
posted by dersins at 12:51 PM on May 20

Hope helps, this.
posted by dersins at 12:52 PM on May 20

A product of transformational grammar by Chomsky/Lucas co-developed the omission of the auxiliary e is.
posted by cortex at 12:54 PM on May 20 [3 favorites]

I don't recognize "wookiee" as the official spelling. The only canonical Star Wars materials are the first three movies, and the word "wookiee" is never written out in those, so you can spell it however you want and George Lucas can just deal with it.
posted by ND¢ at 12:55 PM on May 20

HHS, FFS.
posted by jessamyn at 12:59 PM on May 20

So, "wook-eeeee" should it be said? No, this way it is not pronounced. "Wookie" say I.
posted by Mister_A at 1:00 PM on May 20

It is on Kashyyyk by native wookiees "RAAANNNRrrnggg" pronounced.
posted by cortex at 1:00 PM on May 20

They're just tall Ewoks, guys.

Anyway, Jim Henson and Frank Oz are enemies of the English language. To wit: Yoda, Cookie Monster, Elmo.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:02 PM on May 20

A product of transformational grammar by Chomsky/Lucas co-developed the omission of the auxiliary e is.

Substituting Milton for Chomsky, the same excuse I use. Bullshit then too, it is.
posted by shmegegge at 1:03 PM on May 20

I want it out to point that we in the Dutch so prate.

Ha - but why, you ask!

Well, I don't know about why, so don't ask me that.

Ha - but how, you ask!

Well, gather round, kids. It so happens, and you may want to sit down for this, people have discovered that, mm, see, how should I put this, uh, when a subject and an object love each other very very much, okay, well, no, let me just blurt it out:

Dutch is a closet SOV language.

That's right. She may seem all SVO what with those pretty main clauses and all, well, guess what, it's just a front, wake up sheeple.

The man bites the dog. De man bijt de hond.

Nice and tidy and SVO. This is what they want you to think.

Ha - but why, you ask!

Well, that's where the SOV rears its ugly head. Behold and cower:

The man bites the dog because the man bites the dog. De man bijt de hond omdat de man de hond bijt.

Tricksy shenanigans!

Now, don't get me started about Irish. Or the Irish.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:15 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

Sorry, my mistake. I meant "SOB", obviously.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:15 PM on May 20

About Kathy Ireland I will started you get.
posted by cortex at 1:16 PM on May 20

scary, this nerd war is.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:17 PM on May 20

AskMe post should this not be?
posted by Floydd at 1:18 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

AskMe post should this not be.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:22 PM on May 20 [3 favorites]

The part of the thread where we list famous people with country-name-surnames this is?

Lynndie England (and many others I'm sure)
Jools Holland
Rinus Israël (for you jouke this one is)

Demonyms:

Neil Finn
Irvine Welsh
Dawn French

Near misses^*:

Isambard Kingdom Brunel
Ridley Scott
Donna Brazile

^*: And what's the deal with that word? Shouldn't it be "near hit"? And what's the deal with airline peanuts??

(P.S. Who Kathy Ireland was I did not know. I do now, and richer for it my life shall be.)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:29 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

My sister, a moose once bit.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:30 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

By her presence enriched the Leprechaun franchise was.
posted by cortex at 1:30 PM on May 20

Mischievous are leprechauns. Bite you they will!
posted by Mister_A at 1:35 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

Anyway, Jim Henson and Frank Oz are enemies of the English language. To wit: Yoda, Cookie Monster, Elmo.

My best teachers in life those two were. English under attack by playful characterization is not. By hard-ass prescriptivists it is smothered.
posted by Tehanu at 1:37 PM on May 20

You know what I blame this on the downfall of?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:45 PM on May 20

That's right, Hitler.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:45 PM on May 20

These pants, they vibrate?
posted by iamabot at 1:48 PM on May 20

Cracking up at my office desk, I am.

Praising members of MetaFilter I shall do.
posted by fijiwriter at 1:53 PM on May 20

That's right, Hitler.

Aber Deutsch das Verb am Ende mag oft. (Hier nicht so viel.)
posted by Tehanu at 1:54 PM on May 20

Das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer is wenn?
Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput das Beiherhund!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:07 PM on May 20

ist, dammit, ist
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:07 PM on May 20

This thread, my native language is.

The backspace key, I never hit once.

peajy+ s!y+ umo I
posted by lysdexic at 2:08 PM on May 20

Monkey, dance? Yes....yesssss.....
posted by mrmojoflying at 2:19 PM on May 20

Why is talking like Yoda "funny" in this post?

Talking like Yoda in every post funny is.
posted by prefpara at 2:29 PM on May 20

This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:35 PM on May 20

Like so many things in life, I find that the sage advice from Master Yoda is best followed up thusly:

Do, or do not. There is no 'try', mother-fucker.
posted by quin at 2:47 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

Hmm.

Around the survivors a perimeter create, mother-fucker.

Nope. Sucks it does still.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:52 PM on May 20

What she said, that is.
posted by brain_drain at 3:15 PM on May 20

Ask not what your country can do for you....
posted by Dizzy at 3:21 PM on May 20

my,it "ask not what for you your country can do but what you for your country can do"
posted by cortex at 3:29 PM on May 20

It's the interwebs, let us have our fun!
posted by liquorice at 3:47 PM on May 20

That's what she said.
posted by middleclasstool at 4:16 PM on May 20

For my next ~~trick~~ schtick, I will append to the end of all these Yoda-isms the two words "in bed".
posted by wendell at 4:34 PM on May 20

Living with a man, I am. Knife-collecting, Star Wars fan, he is. Knife-flicking, Sci-Fi-Channel watcher, he is. Gift-giving man, he is. Recipient of scimitar, I am. Teacher of how to use Japanese scimitars and fuck up anyone who threatens me, he most definitely is.

Late to the thread, I am. Appreciative of women warriors, you are?
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:34 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

Around the survivors a perimeter create in bed.

Away put your weapon! I mean you no harm in bed!

Judge me by my size, do you in bed?

No. There is another in bed.

Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi in bed.

[Luke:] I can’t believe it.
[Yoda:] That is why you fail in bed.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:01 PM on May 20 [5 favorites]

Hit it I would.
posted by Floydd at 5:04 PM on May 20

For my next trick schtick, I will append to the end of all these Yoda-isms the two words "in bed".

Man, that's so last week.
posted by danb at 5:21 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

ROU_Xenophobe, you miscreant. Drinking water, I was. New monitor, you owe.
posted by Phire at 5:29 PM on May 20

Man, this is a trap.
posted by maxwelton at 5:30 PM on May 20

Why is talking like Yoda "funny" in this post?

Talking like Yoda in every post funny is.

I think that's the real answer, because the original phrase wasn't even really yoda-esque:

Ze Frank asks when the first time you saw your parents as just being human was.

That's "Ze Frank asks when X was", not "Ze Frank, when X, he asks"

although of course people agree that "yoda-speak" is hardly an exact science... still, this wasn't a great example.
posted by mdn at 5:54 PM on May 20

*ZAP*

This was a boring conversation, anyway.

HEY LUKE, WE'RE GONNA HAVE COMPANY!!!
posted by evilcolonel at 5:57 PM on May 20

Welcome back, Marie!
posted by languagehat at 6:04 PM on May 20

Why clones and jedi unite must: "Around the survivors a perimeter form," does bots confuse!
posted by misha at 6:14 PM on May 20

Hit it I would.

surprised, I am not.

xo MMD.
posted by jessamyn at 6:15 PM on May 20 [2 favorites]

Hit it I would.

Fpr the Sake of Fuck!

(vindicated, i am)
posted by stubby phillips at 6:28 PM on May 20

Unconditionally I you love.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:31 PM on May 20

It was not I who the phrase that must not be spoken spoke. Floydd it was. A relief that is. Like when your children the toy section of the supermarket are zerging, and wondering are you, "Why in the supermarket put they a toy section, hmm?" And then filled are you with the dark side, and around the corner come you screaming, your cart on two wheels tipped, and you see that other children they are who zerg. And relieved are you.
posted by Mister_A at 6:40 PM on May 20

If you cross your eyes, you can see it. That, and a sailboat.
posted by Eideteker at 6:42 PM on May 20

"Beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men, the path of the righteous man is. Who in the name of charity and good will, the weak through the valley of darkness shepherds, blessed he is, for his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children truly he is. Those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers, with great vengeance and furious anger strike down upon thee I will. When upon thee my vengeance I lay, know my name is the Lord, you will." Sayin' that shit for years I been. And if ever heard it you did, your ass, it meant.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:01 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

Overthought this plate of beans has been.
posted by ikkyu2 at 9:36 PM on May 20

I ain't got nobody
posted by hortense at 11:19 PM on May 20 [1 favorite]

Marie Mon Dieu, welcome you back we do.
posted by SteveTheRed at 3:57 AM on May 21

Yeah, realized, did I just, the phrasing of the OPP seemed goofy, it did.

Down, with OPP, you are?
Yes, know me you do.
posted by Partial Law at 4:46 AM on May 21 [1 favorite]

gnfti: you explained my joke. It died as a result.

meneer_A: I like you too.
posted by jouke at 6:22 AM on May 21

My solitary way, with wandering thoughts and slow, this thread through I took.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:32 AM on May 21

Back want I these lost minutes precious.
posted by y2karl at 10:19 AM on May 21

Naw, dude, that's Gollum.
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:29 AM on May 21 [1 favorite]

With the program you must get, yes.
posted by Grangousier at 11:24 AM on May 21

Nothing have I to add, except car insurance saved I a fuckload on.
posted by not_on_display at 12:14 PM on May 21

Nuke it from orbit, I would. To be sure, it is the only way.
posted by deborah at 2:16 PM on May 21

gnfti: you explained my joke. It died as a result.

Okay, I'll bite.

As far as I can tell, either you're familiar with the Dutch language and you might have got it, or you're not, in which case you probably wouldn't.

What was there to spoil?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 2:23 PM on May 21

Apparently nobody here speaks German.
posted by oaf at 4:47 PM on May 21

Warum denkst du dass?
posted by Grangousier at 12:30 AM on May 22

Perhaps because German the canonical example of a language a tendency the verb at the end of the sentence to put having is.
posted by flabdablet at 1:36 AM on May 22

Mangle the language upthread for that very reason I did.
posted by Tehanu at 8:14 AM on May 22

Warum denkst du dass?

Because everybody started making fun of the wording in that thread in spite of the fact that it was normal and preferred English word order. I think you are more aware of it if you know about German and its word order, but it's really stupid for the thread to degenerate so quickly when there's nothing at all unusual about the grammar in the post.
posted by oaf at 8:59 AM on May 22

Resentment against Master Yoda, you feel? Hmm?
posted by Tehanu at 9:28 AM on May 22

normal and preferred English word order

Yes, it's technically correct, but also awkward and clunky with eight words between subject (time) and verb (was), with extra weirdness provided by that "just being". No copy editor worth his/her salt would let such a sentence stand.

Ze Frank asks when the first time you saw your parents as just being human was.
or
Ze Frank asks readers how and when they first came to see their parents as human.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:07 PM on May 22

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to MetaTalk callouts May 20, 2008 12:08 PM Subscribe

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to MetaTalk callouts
May 20, 2008 12:08 PM Subscribe