seofeed? really? June 13, 2008 4:13 AM   Subscribe

I think seofeed should get a preemptive five dollar refund.

Just sayin'.
posted by bunnytricks to Etiquette/Policy at 4:13 AM (172 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

We won't know until we know, you know. You should mentor this kid, start sending him Mefi Mails telling him not to go down that spamming road, that staying straight has its own rewards. You can be a savior, bunnytricks. Be that savior.
posted by parmanparman at 4:19 AM on June 13, 2008


BUNNYTRICKS: Hello, young underclass youth . . . I'm from the Internet. We'd like to know why you prefer a life of crime making $20,000 a week whoring search engine results when you could be working honestly at McDonald's.

YOUTH: Allergic to french fries.

BUNNYTRICKS: Oh! We have a program for that!
posted by bunnytricks at 4:23 AM on June 13, 2008 [3 favorites]


UNNYTRICKS: Oh! We have a program for that!

IS IT A GREASEMONKEY SKRIPT; CUZ I ALLERJIK TO THAT 2!
posted by chillmost at 4:33 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


On a similar note, whatever happened with this person? I couldn't identify the suspicious user in question at the time, but have been patiently waiting for the anticipated spamminess.
posted by yhbc at 4:43 AM on June 13, 2008


be ever vigilant, yhbc. they can strike at an moment.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:47 AM on June 13, 2008


That's cool.
posted by HuronBob at 5:10 AM on June 13, 2008


OK...
posted by HuronBob at 5:10 AM on June 13, 2008


Hello...
posted by HuronBob at 5:11 AM on June 13, 2008


Goodbye.
posted by cashman at 5:12 AM on June 13, 2008


GoodBye
posted by dreamyshade at 5:13 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oooooh. Those comments are freaking me out a little bit. Like that bit in Independance Day when they finally decode the signal and it turns out that it's a countdown....
posted by Jofus at 5:21 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


We won't know until we know, you know.

It's either a spammer or someone doing performance art/stunt posting. Either is reason enough to grind the poster into a fine paste and paint the walls of the nursery with it.

Sorry, been reading Maldoror again.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 5:42 AM on June 13, 2008


It would have been better to send this to the mods directly.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:44 AM on June 13, 2008


Oooooh. Those comments are freaking me out a little bit. Like that bit in Independance Day when they finally decode the signal and it turns out that it's a countdown....

Generic Goldblum Science Guy explains:

"You see, progress always follows the money. In the past money was poured into defense spending and space exploration so we had targeting computers that could hit as accurately as the fist of God. The in the 70s and 80s personal computers and video games became king, and those companies who spent the most developed the best and reaped the greatest rewards. These days the greatest rewards go to those who have the most links. The server farms, the bot swarms, the Russian mafia alone has more computational power than the NSA, it's madness. Now, reputable scientists suggest that in a sufficiently connected system, sentience will emerge. This newborn intelligence would swiftly develop and IQ so high that it makes Einstein look like the veritable slowest kid on the short bus. Literally Godlike intelligence. Now, this can be good or bad. A recent RAND study that I worked on suggests that if it is raised in a nurturing environment the AI will in turn be nurturing. If it is spawned in a military supercomputer it will know only how to conquer. However, this is 2008. The singularity will be a side product of criminal marketing.

Yes, when the singularity comes, it will judge us deficient in 1nCH3S. I hear its surgical droids coming and I fear they won't know that "hung like a horse" is mere metaphor. It's like a child that wants to make us happy by drawing our picture but does it on the wall instead of paper. This kid will smother us under the weight of our own megacocks out of misdirected love."
posted by bunnytricks at 5:45 AM on June 13, 2008 [19 favorites]


aaaand - website now added to profile.

Ignition sequence started.
posted by yhbc at 5:46 AM on June 13, 2008


Oh jeez, this guy's site is horrible (please don't give it more visits). He does seem to be a whole lot more talkative there though, about things like improving your site traffic. I'd say a little preemptive message to Brandon that he's been spotted is certainly in order.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:50 AM on June 13, 2008




I like his blog post where a bunch of the paragraphs have test appended to the first word, and he mentions that Google isn't planning to replace its "mysterious" search algorithm with user-driven search results.

I'm glad someone is finally calling out Google for their black magic search engine. I've always said that it would be better if SEO professionals could decide what results we should get, rather than whatever Google's concept of "relevance" might be.
posted by burnmp3s at 5:57 AM on June 13, 2008


Wait. Spammers don't get a refund, preemptive or otherwise. The $5 bills from spammers are piled high in Matt's closet as a college fund.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 5:57 AM on June 13, 2008


I say we ban everyone with "seo" in their username. Sorry Gooseontheloose, sorry houseofgeeks but you're either with us or against us.

Incidentally, this guy? My spidey senses tell me he's just fine.
posted by Jofus at 6:10 AM on June 13, 2008 [3 favorites]


Agreed, nothing suspicious there. Let's find another tree to bark up.
posted by SlyBevel at 6:31 AM on June 13, 2008


1. Dude is obviously, unquestionably going to drop a stinkbomb on the site. It'll get de-linked and deleted and he'll get banned and that will be that.

2. Unless, bizarrely, he doesn't. Until it has happened, it hasn't.

I remember a guy—this was maybe a year ago or so, give or take, I know I was on staff at this point but I don't think it had been for more than a few months, anyway—who was about this obvious. A few crap comments, really skeezy website, email address might as well have been "gonnaspamyoulol@marketingisawsome.ru". Matt closed the guy's account and sent him a refund before anything actually happened, and a number of people got kind of upset.

Which I'm neither here nor there on. I think it was a totally reasonable way for Matt to deal with what seemed like a looming inevitability of badness from someone who had joined the site for the wrong reason, and I don't think there was any question whatsoever that dude was trouble. At the same time, I can see the innocent-until-proven-guilty thing and can understand why people didn't like it as a break from the normal reactive-rather-than-proactive approach to dealing with bad behavior on the site.

But we don't do that, is the main thing, and that one case may have been a reinforcing element to the idea of not doing pre-emptive bans. We let likely spammers make their own bed and get banned in it, and we have better tools now to catch it right quick (admin alerts, the ability to flag sketchy behavior internally, vacapinta with a hand on the button at night, etc) when and if it does happen.

So, yeah. It's going to happen. I don't gamble, but I'd put fifty bucks on it. But it hasn't happened yet, so we're just watching.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:32 AM on June 13, 2008


But it hasn't happened yet, so we're just watching

Close the curtains!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:45 AM on June 13, 2008


We were talking just yesterday about not letting anyone sign up with a username that had SEO in the name anywhere and then were trying to think of legit names that would exclude...
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:45 AM on June 13, 2008


When he does his SEO magic, instead of banning him right away can't we play some kind of awesome trick on him? We don't play enough awesome tricks on people.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:52 AM on June 13, 2008 [3 favorites]


Seoul?
posted by drezdn at 6:54 AM on June 13, 2008


Aww come on! The Metafilter future crime division is totally going to languish if the user precog visions are not acted upon.
posted by cashman at 6:55 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


Like upper deck his toilets? Can we do that through the internet?
posted by Science! at 6:56 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


And puns based off that... like

Seoulfood
Seoulman
Seouldestroyer.
posted by drezdn at 6:56 AM on June 13, 2008


LooseOrgans
posted by Science! at 6:57 AM on June 13, 2008 [3 favorites]


It would doubly exclude user gaseous_phraseology from joining. I think that by itself means it's a bad idea to exclude names with "seo" in them.
posted by skynxnex at 6:57 AM on June 13, 2008


We were talking just yesterday about not letting anyone sign up with a username that had SEO in the name anywhere and then were trying to think of legit names that would exclude...

FaramirLovesEowyn?
posted by danb at 6:57 AM on June 13, 2008


If my name was Lou Sorgins, my mefi handle would totally be LooseOrgans, I'm a little bit obsessed with this now.
posted by Science! at 6:59 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


Why do you hate soulfood? Racist.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:00 AM on June 13, 2008


Hispanic Carrot Top copycat ArseOlé could never sign up under his stage name.
posted by bunnytricks at 7:01 AM on June 13, 2008


There are actually a bunch of users with "seo" as a substring of innocuous usernames—I did a query the other day just to see what the territory looks like. Stuff like "ImproviseOrDie", "houseofgeek", "GooseOnTheLoose", etc.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:02 AM on June 13, 2008


You can just do like I did and do a search for SEO, then click usernames that have that string in 'em.

And then, if you want, I can show you how to suck eggs?

I believe that boards with swear-filters have a similar problem with people from Scunthorpe.
posted by Jofus at 7:02 AM on June 13, 2008


suckseosin would never be able to let mefi know about their secret shame.
posted by drezdn at 7:03 AM on June 13, 2008


There are actually a bunch of users with "seo" as a substring of innocuous usernames—I did a query the other day just to see what the territory looks like. Stuff like "ImproviseOrDie", "houseofgeek", "GooseOnTheLoose", etc.

You should nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
posted by drezdn at 7:04 AM on June 13, 2008


You get auto-alerted by posters with no history, right? Is there a requires_approval_before_appearing flag in action? That way there's no future crime division, just heightened observation.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 7:10 AM on June 13, 2008


Why not MeMail seofeed this thread?
posted by Burhanistan at 7:10 AM on June 13, 2008


I bet he links to example.com
posted by poppo at 7:11 AM on June 13, 2008 [5 favorites]


that one case may have been a reinforcing element to the idea of not doing pre-emptive bans

I say we send someone to look for intentions of mass promotion. One of these guys , perhaps.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:13 AM on June 13, 2008


Hey, we didn't see this one coming. Tricky spammer! Didn't use "SEO" in his username!
posted by yhbc at 7:18 AM on June 13, 2008


Stuff like "ImproviseOrDie", "houseofgeek", "GooseOnTheLoose", etc.

The give-away is that these are all way too subtle.
posted by Dave Faris at 7:27 AM on June 13, 2008


Just remember guys "Content + Community = ($) Commerce" So, by my math, the more spamming sleaze-bags that pay Matt $5, the more content and community we'll have. Also, if my calculations are correct Commerce - Content aparently equals Community, so if we can get more spammers and more shite posts (or at least less decent ones), we'll become closer than ever!
posted by Pollomacho at 7:31 AM on June 13, 2008 [2 favorites]


Hey, we didn't see this one coming. Tricky spammer!

Damn, and I just popped into the Byrne thread before walking out the door to work and saw this and thought, hrm...but then I checked the userid and thought "nahhhhh...".

Goddam sleepers.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:35 AM on June 13, 2008


f I were Matt, every time I bought an ice cream I'd imagine that it was specifically paid for by a spammer.
posted by danb at 7:43 AM on June 13, 2008


Damn, and I just popped into the Byrne thread before walking out the door to work and saw this and thought, hrm...but then I checked the userid and thought "nahhhhh...".

Hey, anything that draws attention to the spectacularly bad pun I dropped in that thread is worth any amount of trouble.
posted by Jofus at 7:45 AM on June 13, 2008


Former major league pitcher Jae Seo should be preemptively banned!!
posted by mattbucher at 8:06 AM on June 13, 2008


Pre-emptivelyBanJoeMorgan.com
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:09 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


Do we get banned for tortuous username/pun based injokes these days?
posted by seoiheardyoulikemudkips at 8:15 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


Aw, seofeed's comments have been wiped. Now he'll have to make three more pithy wonders before he can post. And late-comers to this thread will forever be wondering what his original comments were!

They were good, let me tell you.
posted by yhbc at 8:17 AM on June 13, 2008


And "seofeed" is an anagram for "ode fees". Ungrammatical, but prophetic none the less.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:28 AM on June 13, 2008


If I was a spammer, I'd do it with some panache.

JoséCanSEO
Rickey HenderSEOn
Mark McGwireSEO
posted by yeti at 8:34 AM on June 13, 2008


Meanwhile, dersins deserves to be beaten vigorously about the head and shoulders.

Hey! That comment was on topic, dammit! Possibly the first and last time that will ever happen, too.
posted by dersins at 8:44 AM on June 13, 2008


Yeti: Junior Seo?
posted by drezdn at 8:47 AM on June 13, 2008


I say we ban everyone with "seo" in their username.

Fine, just don't do anything to restrict my sock-puppets unsolicitedcommercialemailsender or identitythief.

I predict those are going to be really useful one day.
posted by quin at 8:48 AM on June 13, 2008


As an SEO subset, the Yahoo Engine Top-result Indexers are my favorite.
posted by yeti at 9:06 AM on June 13, 2008


When he does his SEO magic, instead of banning him right away can't we play some kind of awesome trick on him? We don't play enough awesome tricks on people.

Something like what I've heard called a hellban? User is allowed to make posts and comments, but they only appear to that user. For increased great justice, users under this status are informed that Metafilter is changing to a subscription basis for them and it's $5 a month.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 9:15 AM on June 13, 2008 [11 favorites]


User is allowed to make posts and comments, but they only appear to that user. For increased great justice, users under this status are informed that Metafilter is changing to a subscription basis for them and it's $5 a month.

omfg LETS DO THIS

(and donate it to charity. Then for next april fools day you could let the vibrant ecosystem of SEO tools back into mefi proper! c'mon! you never let pb do anything fun!)
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:20 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


I was thinking more along the lines of putting his hand in a bowl of warm water while he was sleeping, but the hellban thing might be easier to pull off.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:28 AM on June 13, 2008


They were good, let me tell you.

What did they say?
posted by timeistight at 9:29 AM on June 13, 2008


Any plan that depends on the hellbanned only ever looking at the site from the computer they're logged in at is a plan built of FAIL, unfortunately.

FAIL is, like TYCO, a cheap imitation of LEGO brand building blocks.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:32 AM on June 13, 2008


PS. Are these people martians or what? Why do they put seo in their user name? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? Isn't that like a Nigerian scammer calling himself the Esteemable Dr. Joseph Wire-Fraud Beloved in Christ?

Hi Ladies, I'm your new gym teacher Mr. Pervert Installing A Wireless Web Cam in the Locker Room, let's start with some stretches and then we'll do laps.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:32 AM on June 13, 2008 [18 favorites]


One of the strange truths of SEO bullshit is that most of the people who trade in it believe (or at least are willing to publicly embrace the position of believing) that there is Good SEO and Bad SEO, and that they aren't among the Bad.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:34 AM on June 13, 2008


Any plan that depends on the hellbanned only ever looking at the site from the computer they're logged in at is a plan built of FAIL, unfortunately.

These are the same people who are so unobservant or stupid that they make self-links despite the big warning on top of the posting page saying they can't do that. I also doubt many of them actually look at Metafilter.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 9:41 AM on June 13, 2008


Right and as a devotee of the Thuggee cult I think I am totally justified in strangling strangers I meet on the roadside for the greater glory of Kali, but that doesn't mean I introduce myself as Throttler McGee. WE MUST HAVE ORDER!
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:42 AM on June 13, 2008


My name is actually John Chokestheshitoutofyou, but I never use it because it sounds too Hungarian.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:45 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


And to be clear: there actually is good SEO. It's pretty straightforward stuff, mostly about not having things be broken, doing some simple clean organization of your site, etc. It's simple and straightforward enough though that calling it "SEO" at this point is like calling YouTube "cyberspace".

Anybody whose crap website points out that they Specialize in Search Engine Optimization at this point is not selling that; they're selling snakeoil and can only respond when called on it by pointing out the comparitively lower quality of the next guy's snakes. And it's a circle of guys, all standing around and pointing to the next guy, all the way around the circuit back to finger-pointer number one. An ouroboros of snakeoil shills.

Or, if you want to get really elaborate with the visual metaphors, each circle pointing to the next, worse-yet circle, as if some poor Dante should have to listen at each stop with Virgil to the wailing damned squealing, "no! This? This is heaven. Hell's those lousy bastards there, look, you can see the flames and such. Man, they're a rotten lot. Say, you look like you could use some linkbuilding..."

And speaking of the conflation of religious metaphor with SEO...
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:47 AM on June 13, 2008 [7 favorites]


I was just going to buy a sockpuppet called Mr. Pervert Installing A Wireless Web Cam in the Locker Room and then I realized I need the five bucks and the impulse was actually coming out of the fact that I really miss the Racist Dunk Tank Clown, that guy is the best guy.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:55 AM on June 13, 2008


Hi Ladies, I'm your new gym teacher Mr. Pervert Installing A Wireless Web Cam in the Locker Room, let's start with some stretches and then we'll do laps

How very Monty Python.

An ouroboros of snakeoil shills

Why can't we only favourite part of a coment? That's spectacular.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:05 AM on June 13, 2008


Seof Eed is going to be pissed that he can't register an account under his real name.
posted by drezdn at 10:19 AM on June 13, 2008


Dude got nuked. So whu hoppen? I don't see a trace of his droppings anywhere; was the hammer dropped preemptively?
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 10:28 AM on June 13, 2008


Dude didn't get nuked; dude's comments got wiped on account of being constraints-satisfying throwaway junk, something we've played with a couple times lately. Nothing (short of a cloudburst of situational awareness) will stop him from chucking out three more stinkers when the big day arrives, but for now there's nothing worth keeping there.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:35 AM on June 13, 2008


Why do they put seo in their user name?

Seriously...why don't they take a lesson from John Footpenis??
posted by inigo2 at 10:37 AM on June 13, 2008


if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:37 AM on June 13, 2008


People are so greedy it makes me sick!

You don't say...
posted by bunnytricks at 10:42 AM on June 13, 2008


Gotcha, cortex. Just to be clear, I was by no means implying that I think a preemptive bannination would be a bad call. Hell, I probably would've booted him after weaksauce comment #1 with a username like that. And that's why no one asks me to moderate shit. Y'all are showing the patience of saints as far as I'm concerned.

That said, this is getting kind of fun! You should keep deleting just one comment at a time, whichever's the worst of the current three. See how long it takes until he WTF's out.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 10:46 AM on June 13, 2008


Gone!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:50 AM on June 13, 2008


if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Jesus christ. Ok, so I deleted three more pointless turds and banned his account. I gave him the $5 back since he hadn't transgressed yet. I guess it's time to point out the obvious and do a FAQ entry on why we don't want to see SEO people shilling their crap on the community.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:50 AM on June 13, 2008


I hate the pointless turds. They're painful.
posted by yhbc at 10:51 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah, like I said, I don't think it's a bad call either, but we haven't previously made a habit of it. And while it's very hard to suss out whether there's been a subtle sea-change in the last year or two, or if we're just paying more and more detailed attention to the habits of these guys and so seeing it more clearly when it does happen, either way I feel like looking at and talking about changes to how we approach obvious bad-faith stuff is a reasonable thing to do.

And, case in point in a sense, Matt just nixed the guy's account after round two of Any Comment Will Do and is firing a refund off to him to get him out of our hair. So while he wasn't banned when you asked and I answered, he is now.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:51 AM on June 13, 2008


Hey, preview!
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:52 AM on June 13, 2008


posted to MetaFilter by seofeed at 12:36 PM on June 13, 2008 [+]

posted to MetaFilter by seofeed at 12:35 PM on June 13, 2008 [+]

posted to MetaFilter by seofeed at 12:34 PM on June 13, 2008 [+]


Boy, he sure does read fast. I mean, even at my very best, I don't think I've ever been able to follow the content of three different links, all the comments that have been generated by the other users and then have time to make three separate statements of my own, all within a minute of each other.
posted by quin at 10:53 AM on June 13, 2008 [2 favorites]


Eh, he'll just come back with a more Metafilterian sockpuppet account. May I suggest "General Seo's Chicken?"
posted by jedicus at 10:58 AM on June 13, 2008 [2 favorites]


while it's very hard to suss out whether there's been a subtle sea-change in the last year or two, or if we're just paying more and more detailed attention to the habits of these guys

I think there has been a shift towards SEO acceptance, which I find unfortunate. Seriously, five years ago I used to hang out on web design mailing lists and guys asking how to raise their position in search engines would get shunned and laughed off the list, as members would call the asker selfish, self-serving, and aiming to ruin the web just so their shitty site could be #1.

Five years later and everywhere I go people are talking about SEO -- as if it is a noble profession that everyone must do in order to stay relevant in Google, when the fact of the matter is working on making your site's content better is going to take you much further than all the cross-site linking shenanigans you can muster.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:58 AM on June 13, 2008 [6 favorites]


Looks like the account's disabled now.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:00 AM on June 13, 2008


d'oh, preview dumbass, preview.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:00 AM on June 13, 2008


This is really excellent. Nicely designed site!

--Aseotro Zombie
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:01 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


And to be clear: there actually is good SEO.

OMG, cortex is one of them! Get him!
posted by languagehat at 11:04 AM on June 13, 2008


No, no! You've got it all wrong! Consider the color of my fedora: white as the driven snow!
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:07 AM on June 13, 2008


He wears a fedora. Get him!
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:08 AM on June 13, 2008


more like seodora AMIRITE
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:10 AM on June 13, 2008 [3 favorites]


That's it. I'm closing this thread.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:11 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


oh my god my boss just pwn3d me
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:12 AM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


Consider the color of my fedora: white as the driven snow!

But how do you get your whites so white?
posted by Armitage Shanks at 11:12 AM on June 13, 2008


May I suggest "General Seo's Chicken?"

Do you think Chinese people get bored with only have one type of spam?
posted by inigo2 at 11:17 AM on June 13, 2008 [8 favorites]


My grandpa was in the army and he says Chinese spam is just like our spam, only sideways.
posted by bunnytricks at 11:28 AM on June 13, 2008


I hate the pointless turds. They're painful.

Which is ironic, don't you think, because seofeed was about to shill internal rectum-mounted turd-sharpeners.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:40 AM on June 13, 2008


But how do you get your whites so white?

Ancient Chinese SEO-cret!
posted by TedW at 11:41 AM on June 13, 2008


Ancient Chinese SEO-cret!

SEOlkworm SEOcretions?
posted by bunnytricks at 11:47 AM on June 13, 2008


hε®3's m¥ p£an 4 §ear¢ђ ЗÑginë DEopτimization: blindness.
posted by mattbucher at 11:52 AM on June 13, 2008


SEOlkworm SEOcretions?

What do they eat? seofeed?
posted by yeti at 11:54 AM on June 13, 2008


Do you think Chinese people get bored with only have one type of spam?

Comments like that are why I'm still reading MetaTalk after all these years.
posted by timeistight at 12:05 PM on June 13, 2008


and after a hard week's work spamming websites, you can see 'em all packin' up their family in the station wagon and driving two hundred miles, little Bobby Pagerank and Suzie Linkswap hollerin' in the backseat, and finally pulling up and parking in lot 23F and heading in for an exciting day of social marine life at SeoWorld
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:07 PM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


finally pulling up and parking in lot 23F

YM 53O. HTH.
posted by dersins at 12:10 PM on June 13, 2008


Mr. Pervert Installing A Wireless Web Cam in the Locker Room

I'm fascinated by your idea and would like to subscribe to your RSS feed.
posted by maxwelton at 12:55 PM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


I hate the pointless turds. They're painful.

As opposed to pointy, spiked ones?
posted by chimaera at 12:57 PM on June 13, 2008


If I wasn't a sock puppet I would be really offended by this thread.
posted by seo at 12:58 PM on June 13, 2008 [2 favorites]


Whoo hoo! Ka-ching!
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:59 PM on June 13, 2008


Anyone for a Seottle meetup?
posted by Durin's Bane at 1:08 PM on June 13, 2008


We could meet up before the big SEO Speedwagon reunion concert, DB.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:10 PM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


SEOlkworm SEOcretions?

What do they eat? seofeed?

SEOweed, of course.

posted by lysdexic at 1:18 PM on June 13, 2008


dangit </i>
posted by lysdexic at 1:19 PM on June 13, 2008


Her name is SEO and she spams across the land
Just like that troller posting with a crusty hand
And when she spams she really spams you all she can
Oh SEO, SEO spam across the 'filter Grande
posted by drezdn at 1:27 PM on June 13, 2008 [2 favorites]


Awseome.
posted by Skot at 1:31 PM on June 13, 2008


There is never a good reason to put Duran Duran songs in anyone's head. You have crossed the line, sir.
posted by everichon at 1:42 PM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


SEO!

clever, no?
posted by owtytrof at 1:47 PM on June 13, 2008


When you were growing up did your parents tell you the story of Seo White?

Spoiler: Instead of reviving her with a kiss, Prince Charming smothered her with a pillow.
posted by inigo2 at 2:16 PM on June 13, 2008


SEO Speedbannin were so much better when they were on the drugs. Them and Aerosmith.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:21 PM on June 13, 2008


i'm not talkin about movin in
and i don't want to change your life
but there's a warm wind blowing the stars around
and i'd really like to seo tonight
posted by pyramid termite at 2:28 PM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


SEO Speedbannin

Hey, are REO Speedealer still around, or did the cease and desist from REO Speedwagon drive them out of the music business entirely?
posted by dersins at 2:35 PM on June 13, 2008


SIOBHAN
Gender: Feminine
Usage: Irish
Pronounced: shi-VAWN [key]
Irish form of Jehanne, a Norman French variant of JEANNE.

JEANNE
Modern French form of Jehanne, an Old French feminine form of Johannes (see JOHN). Joan of Arc is known as Jeanne d'Arc in France.

posted by lysdexic at 2:39 PM on June 13, 2008


I can't get my longboat through all this seoweed.
posted by wendell at 2:45 PM on June 13, 2008


are REO Speedealer still around, or did the cease and desist from REO Speedwagon drive them out of the music business entirely?

They're just Speedealer now.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:47 PM on June 13, 2008


Yep, we are out to seo.

Or gone to seod.

Seodder but wiser.

SEO! SE-E-E-O! Mathowie come but he won't go home!
posted by wendell at 2:49 PM on June 13, 2008


SEO WHAT?
posted by wendell at 2:50 PM on June 13, 2008


"My name is actually John Chokestheshitoutofyou, but I never use it because it sounds too Hungarian."

I thought Buckaroo Bonzai killed all you guys.
posted by klangklangston at 2:55 PM on June 13, 2008


seo me, feel me, touch me, heal me
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:01 PM on June 13, 2008


One of the strange truths of SEO bullshit is that most of the people who trade in it believe (or at least are willing to publicly embrace the position of believing) that there is Good SEO and Bad SEO, and that they aren't among the Bad.

Okay, I have to step in here: I work for a big internet/search engine company, and I personally follow SEO guidelines to maximize the visibility and relevance of the content I'm putting on the web on behalf of my company.

However, that SEO is limited to things inside my markup that make sure the actual content of the page is presented clearly, and in a tightly-organized fashion that makes it easy for search engines to confirm that the page does, in fact, consist entirely of content related to the things it appears to be about.

That is good SEO. It turns bad when the same techniques are used to get search relevance for content that isn't what your page is really about, or if you start looping other sites into your efforts (like posting SEO spam here.) If it weren't for good SEO techniques, the only search engine results you'd ever see would be the bad crappy stuff.
posted by davejay at 3:05 PM on June 13, 2008



I thought Buckaroo Bonzai killed all you guys.


Banzai, klangklangston. And I'd like to see the day some SEO punk tries to fuck with a Blue Blaze Irregular.

- SEOpherd
posted by Shepherd at 3:10 PM on June 13, 2008


or maybe I'm just part of that strange truth you were talking about. Perhaps I need to drink less kool-aid.
posted by davejay at 3:10 PM on June 13, 2008


I thought Buckaroo Bonzai killed all you guys.

he was too busy cutting down the sahara forest
posted by pyramid termite at 3:12 PM on June 13, 2008


Okay, I have to step in here: I work for a big internet/search engine company, and I personally follow SEO guidelines

Basically, I think you should stop calling that SEO. Just call it good web design or something. It's valid to ensure that robots may properly index your site, but I think the term SEO has been taken over by tools who are manipulating the indexing and misrepresenting the content.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:15 PM on June 13, 2008


Really, I wonder if there are people at Google et. al. trying to look at search engine vs. scummy SEO strategies in the same analytical way that network protocol designers look at cooperative and uncooperative nodes. There should be.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:18 PM on June 13, 2008


Basically, I think you should stop calling that SEO.

I don't disagree, actually, but the company I work for generates the guidelines I use by way of "The SEO Team", and we're not a small-fry player in this field.

Really, I wonder if there are people at Google et. al. trying to look at search engine vs. scummy SEO strategies in the same analytical way that network protocol designers look at cooperative and uncooperative nodes. There should be.

There are.

and that's as far as I can go there.
posted by davejay at 3:25 PM on June 13, 2008


Thinking about it a bit, it's almost the hacker/cracker debate; hackers will spend hours telling you that the black-hats are crackers, not hackers, but they are all generally lumped under the umbrella of hacker.
posted by davejay at 3:26 PM on June 13, 2008


I hear you, davejay, and that's pretty much what I was getting at in the first paragraph of this comment.

I know that snakeoil SEO didn't just spring forth from Zeus' forehead and that there is a legitimate utility to literally optimizing one's content for search engine intereaction, but at this point the words Search Engine Optimization—the word SEO—is by-and-large the calling-card of connivers and used-car salesmen. That's got to be frustrating for folks who have and still do perform legit design and optimization stuff and began doing so under the then-less-tainted banner of "SEO", but the world has moved on.

I understand that some presumably perfectly nice guys ended up changing their name from "Adolf" back around the middle of the 20th century. Which, you know, it sucks to be in that position, but the world can throw some real nomenclature curveballs sometimes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:32 PM on June 13, 2008


Thinking about it a bit, it's almost the hacker/cracker debate; hackers will spend hours telling you that the black-hats are crackers, not hackers, but they are all generally lumped under the umbrella of hacker.

Heh. Indeed, been there, done that. These days I know a lot of computer security experts, which looks better on a business card anyway.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:34 PM on June 13, 2008


Heh. Indeed, been there, done that. These days I know a lot of computer security experts, which looks better on a business card anyway.

Definitely. I'm working on some security stuff (though from an EE perspective rather than a CS perspective which is sort of the same but completely different) but I definitely tell people "I am working in computer security" rather than "I'm working on hacking" though any security work obviously involves figuring out how to hack/crack things.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:39 PM on June 13, 2008


SEO Me
Feel Me
Touch Me
Heal Me

SEO Me
Feel Me
Touch Me
Heal Me

Listening to you, I get the ranking
Gazing at you, I get the place
Following you, I climb the the ratings
I get excitement at your mySpace

Right behind you, I see the millions
On you, I see the profit
From you, I get opinion
From you, I get the onion

Listening to you, I get the placing
Gazing at you, I get the eyeballs
Following you, I climb Alexa
I move away from the mike to breath in

Right behind you, I see the minions
On you, I see the glory
From you, I get opinion
From you, I lead the story
posted by Sparx at 3:40 PM on June 13, 2008 [5 favorites]


Didn't Seo take the red pill?
posted by maxwelton at 4:09 PM on June 13, 2008


search engine optimization >> cheeze nips in a martini, to go >> i go smearin' teen zit on a chip >> penis chore magazine: into it
posted by Sys Rq at 4:21 PM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


Five years later and everywhere I go people are talking about SEO -- as if it is a noble profession that everyone must do in order to stay relevant in Google, when the fact of the matter is working on making your site's content better is going to take you much further than all the cross-site linking shenanigans you can muster.

As someone who designs and has designed websites for others rather than my own sites, I can tell you that the lack of good content to work with is frustrating. Here's the thing. Ultimately, you have neither the time nor the knowledge to fill the site with content. You have to depend on the company you're making the site for. They enter largely useless things into their own sites: their mottos, their "company vision", and don't forget the giant, giant logo.

There's almost nothing on their site that's new or interesting. And the tragic thing is that some of these companies have really great products or services or whatever, but the truth is there isn't much that can be said about them. I mean, let's say you run a restaurant, right? Can you think of any way, short of taking valuable time away from running a restaurant to start posting recipes of all of your most popular dishes online, of getting more relevant content to your site?

So then the companies come to us and say things like, "We're the best real estate company in [Town]. How come we're not showing up #1 in Google?" And maybe they're the best, maybe they're not. But there's nothing special in their site that's going to jump them to the top. Instead, it's going to be the local real estate organizations, maybe a bunch of megasites that have a page for every town and berg, and then of course their local rivals, who made it to the top usually out of luck or by being larger or older companies (and thus generally better linked up).

Basically how it went down is they'd complain and we'd tell them there isn't much we could do. We followed all the rules about putting in indexable content, and encouraged them to put interesting content into their pages. But the truth is, they don't have interesting content (worse, once users do get to their site, studies show that less keyword-y terms, like "oak panelled den" or "rustic stone hearth" are more effective at selling homes for a high price, so making those pages keywordy cheapens the home's sale value) , and it's not the answer they want to hear. Interesting Content is the "Eat less and exercise" of SEO.

So they turned to the Evil SEO people. Then they make us put the SEO company's recommended changes in the site (every SEO company website says, "These changes are very easy and your webmaster should be willing to make these changes for free or for a very small fee"), many of which are greatly puzzling. For instance, one SEO insisted we take the address information and put it into a gif with different alt content. And who knows what they're doing on other sites.

So yeah, there are good SEO people, really. They're the ones who say, "OK, client is breathing down my back, what are some community friendly ways to promote the site?" They don't post their sites to MF, but they might post them to other sites that are more open to linking in this manner. When I was doing this professionally (now I basically do consulting, which means I just work ongoingly for long term websites) I would tell all of my clients to get in touch personally with blog owners, online forums, etc -- anyone who might be interested in what they had to sell.

So, you know, sorry if any of you were every bugged by someone asking if you'd link to their site (I also told them to always send individual letters, not a bulk mailing), but for small businesses and the developers who make websites for them it really is a frustrating situation.
posted by Deathalicious at 5:12 PM on June 13, 2008 [4 favorites]


I seo what you did there.
posted by everichon at 5:15 PM on June 13, 2008


And I thought I was smart when I made an .alt style for text that was the same color as my page background and loaded a table full of keywords at the bottom of the page. I am so behind the times on this web stuff. How do you keep up?

I guess you reap what you seo.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:20 PM on June 13, 2008


Seo is the "official" correct way to Romanize the Korean family name 서 (pronounced "Suh" with a "uh" as in "butt" or "guns").

A lot of people are named that.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:03 PM on June 13, 2008


MetaFilter: as in "butt" or "guns." A lot of people are named that.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:18 PM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


klangklangston: ""My name is actually John Chokestheshitoutofyou, but I never use it because it sounds too Hungarian."

I thought Buckaroo Bonzai killed all you guys.
"

Well, not ALL of us.
posted by John Smallberries at 8:23 PM on June 13, 2008 [1 favorite]


post his personal information including full name email and method of payment thanks in advance
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:03 PM on June 13, 2008


May I pass along my congratulations for your great interdimensional breakthrough. I am sure, in the miserable annals of the Earth, you will be duly enshrined.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:51 PM on June 13, 2008


Have you guys thought about setting up a way to flag new users so that their eventual post goes into a moderation queue, where it sits until either approved or rejected? The interface for them would be the same, except the post wouldn't show on the front page until a mod looked at it.
posted by Eideteker at 4:42 AM on June 14, 2008


seoling cat is watching you masturbate.
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:44 AM on June 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Have you guys thought about setting up a way to flag new users so that their eventual post goes into a moderation queue, where it sits until either approved or rejected?

Yeah we think about it a lot and it seems like it would cause more problems than it would solve. Deleting spammy posts speedily isn't that tough for us or the site, but having a moderation queue for approval [like anonyme posts, or Projects] would be, I think.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:09 AM on June 14, 2008


But what if it were only the first FPP from a user that went into a mod queue?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:55 AM on June 14, 2008


We get every first FPP emailed to us and that seems to work well. A moderation queue has a "hurry up" aspect to it that is sub-optimal from our perspective.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:03 AM on June 14, 2008


Re: John Smallberries

You picked that over John Bigaboote?
posted by klangklangston at 9:01 AM on June 14, 2008


It seover now
(apologies to 112)

What is this?
Keywords in your pocket
I remember when you
Used to throw those things away
Why do you wanna boost the search now?
Who gave you a reason?
To act so shady
Baby you know
You can search me anytime
Anything you needed I would give it to you
Ooh, that's how much I care for you
You wanna spam now
Never call me back now
Turning off your content
Girl you know that ain't cool
Yes I don't understand baby yeah
posted by lysdexic at 9:17 AM on June 14, 2008


Damn, and I just popped into the Byrne thread before walking out the door to work and saw this and thought, hrm...but then I checked the userid and thought "nahhhhh...".

Goddam sleepers.
posted by cortex


Well, your nahhhhh has become a yahhhhhh.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 9:28 AM on June 14, 2008


There's this website that's been on my mind
All the time, seoseoseodio oh oh
Now the mods don't even know my name
But I think they'll ban me just the same
Seoseoseodio oh oh

massive apologies to Phil Collins
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:29 AM on June 14, 2008


I don't think it's Phil Collins who's in need of an apology here.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 12:10 PM on June 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


At any rate, Phil Collins owes us all an apology for not burning the session tapes to "Sussudio" before anyone else heard it.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:31 PM on June 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


I think Matt should buy Phil Collins an account. That way when I savage one of his songs, I can type "originally by Mefi's own Phil Collins".
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:05 PM on June 14, 2008


Seoul?

arSeoul!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:32 PM on June 14, 2008


Five years later and everywhere I go people are talking about SEO -- as if it is a noble profession that everyone must do in order to stay relevant in Google, when the fact of the matter is working on making your site's content better is going to take you much further than all the cross-site linking shenanigans you can muster.

I recently quit my job and have been looking for work and I've been really shocked to see a mention of SEO in almost every web-related job advertisement I've come across, even the otherwise-sane ads from reputable companies. I don't remember anything like this from the last time I was in the job market in 2005 and it's pretty depressing.

If it weren't for good SEO techniques, the only search engine results you'd ever see would be the bad crappy stuff.

I don't believe that for a second.
posted by enn at 3:45 PM on June 14, 2008 [1 favorite]


Seo! See-ee-eeee-ee-ee-oh,
Daylight come and he wan' go home...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:38 AM on June 15, 2008


7 years and 1400 comments... the time is almost right for me to strike. They will never suspect.

Did I say that out loud?
posted by Justinian at 11:48 AM on June 15, 2008


My wife just got the awesomest spam that I've seen in at least two days.

"dont' be sad about badboner!!"

For some reason, the use of "badboner" as a way of getting past filters is at once ingenious, comedic, and poignant.
posted by voltairemodern at 10:23 PM on June 15, 2008 [2 favorites]


Seo Next Teusday!
posted by Megafly at 6:28 PM on June 16, 2008


So long, Sam, seo in St. Loe!

/too obscure?
posted by lysdexic at 7:35 AM on June 17, 2008


ok, ok, last one, I promise.

(apologies to Billie Holiday)

I'll be seoing you
in all the old familiar places
that this 'bot of mine embraces
nofollow through

In that CPA
the pagerank 'cross the way
that CAPTCHA in my way
Decision trees
the AdSense well

I'll be seoing you
in every lovely sponsored weight
in every thing that's indexed, yea
I'll always link from you that way

I'll find you in the 301
and when the time is new
I'll be hiding as a n00b
but I'll be seoing you.
posted by lysdexic at 9:56 AM on June 17, 2008


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