Kenya hack it? June 27, 2008 8:52 PM Subscribe
Would you people stop trying to hack stuff?
Yes, we all loved the movie but for Jod's sake, you can't hack sex.
Yes, we all loved the movie but for Jod's sake, you can't hack sex.
Maybe you cant hack sex.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:58 PM on June 27, 2008 [53 favorites]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:58 PM on June 27, 2008 [53 favorites]
Soooo... not gettin' any, eh sunshinesky?
posted by Reverend John at 9:00 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Reverend John at 9:00 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
Richard Gill went on to be the Bunk!
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:02 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:02 PM on June 27, 2008
whoa, jessamyn, I didn't know your keys were so sharp.
posted by sunshinesky at 9:02 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by sunshinesky at 9:02 PM on June 27, 2008
Seriously, the bar for a MetaTalk thread is that you dislike a turn of phrase? Incidentally, you misspelled God's name.
posted by nanojath at 9:03 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by nanojath at 9:03 PM on June 27, 2008
I tried hacky sex once, but keeping that little beanbag ball in the air was next to impossible.
posted by MegoSteve at 9:04 PM on June 27, 2008 [12 favorites]
posted by MegoSteve at 9:04 PM on June 27, 2008 [12 favorites]
Don't worry, in a few months I'll be making the inevitable "I'm a 21 year old virgin help help" post in askMefi, and you can read that and feel better about yourself.
I'll do it anonymously, but I'll use my future puppet g-mail account "69SoFine at gmail dot com" so all you insiders will know.
I have several drafts I'm knocking around....if I'm going to bare my soul I'd like it to have flow and shit.
and then...and only then....we can hack sex to make it easier for me. When I finally get laid, I'll make a post about it in meFi projects.
posted by hellojed at 9:06 PM on June 27, 2008 [3 favorites]
I'll do it anonymously, but I'll use my future puppet g-mail account "69SoFine at gmail dot com" so all you insiders will know.
I have several drafts I'm knocking around....if I'm going to bare my soul I'd like it to have flow and shit.
and then...and only then....we can hack sex to make it easier for me. When I finally get laid, I'll make a post about it in meFi projects.
posted by hellojed at 9:06 PM on June 27, 2008 [3 favorites]
Sex Hax? Just add a cock or five.
posted by porn in the woods at 9:07 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by porn in the woods at 9:07 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
Ok, I'm not your lawyer, but all this hacking can turn into some nasty lawsuits. So be careful and please talk to your lawyer.
posted by Drama Penguin at 9:08 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by Drama Penguin at 9:08 PM on June 27, 2008
I wrote a greasemonkey script that changes the word "hack" to the string of your choice.
It's sort of a hack hack.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:13 PM on June 27, 2008 [12 favorites]
It's sort of a hack hack.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:13 PM on June 27, 2008 [12 favorites]
So you just can't hack it anymore? (please note I am use meaning #6 here)
posted by blue_beetle at 9:17 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by blue_beetle at 9:17 PM on June 27, 2008
Agreed. No more hacks.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:18 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:18 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
Sex hacking is just rape, isn't it?
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:20 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:20 PM on June 27, 2008
*hacks own head off*
*detached head looks on in amazement as headless body keeps posting*
posted by jonmc at 9:20 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
*detached head looks on in amazement as headless body keeps posting*
posted by jonmc at 9:20 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
Sure you can:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes,fsck,fsck,fsck,umount, sleep
posted by empath at 9:24 PM on June 27, 2008 [20 favorites]
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes,fsck,fsck,fsck,umount, sleep
posted by empath at 9:24 PM on June 27, 2008 [20 favorites]
sorry, old joke is old
posted by empath at 9:24 PM on June 27, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by empath at 9:24 PM on June 27, 2008 [5 favorites]
Don't forget the old Kottke-inspired list of hacks.
posted by Partial Law at 9:25 PM on June 27, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Partial Law at 9:25 PM on June 27, 2008 [2 favorites]
Y'know, looking at that IMDB link, I think it's tragically apparent that many, many people did NOT love "Hackers".
posted by Dipsomaniac at 9:27 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by Dipsomaniac at 9:27 PM on June 27, 2008
Hey, now. For some folks, hacking is sex. Don't stare at them.
posted by katillathehun at 9:28 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by katillathehun at 9:28 PM on June 27, 2008 [1 favorite]
Ahh - that explains it, jon. kidding! or am I?
I hacked your head off, too, dude. If our bodies start fighting, just watch for a while. They'll eventually wear themselves out. maybe some kind soul will pour beer in our heads since we can't do it ourselves. Tragic.
posted by jonmc at 9:30 PM on June 27, 2008
I hacked your head off, too, dude. If our bodies start fighting, just watch for a while. They'll eventually wear themselves out. maybe some kind soul will pour beer in our heads since we can't do it ourselves. Tragic.
posted by jonmc at 9:30 PM on June 27, 2008
*chugs Robitussin to supress hacking cough*
You gots to be careful, you'll start hacking more than your cough.
I wrote a greasemonkey script that changes the word "hack" to the string of your choice.
I would like to give you some advice on humor, sir. While I'm not the type to know Javascript and Greasemonkeying off the top of my head, it seems to me that you might. Therefore, it is funnier if you actually do it. This concept can be key to efficient comedy and it seems to me that if you knew the basics of Greasemonkeying you could whip up such a script in a few minutes. Null and void this section of the comment if doing such Greasemonkeying would actually take you, like it would take me, more than a few minutes' effort.
Finally, sex is totally hax and unless this evolves into an epic longboat journey or Jesus himself restores the IMG tag to this thread, I judge this the worst Metatalk thread ever. Seriously, you reset the days-between-Metatalk-posts for this?
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 9:36 PM on June 27, 2008
You gots to be careful, you'll start hacking more than your cough.
I wrote a greasemonkey script that changes the word "hack" to the string of your choice.
I would like to give you some advice on humor, sir. While I'm not the type to know Javascript and Greasemonkeying off the top of my head, it seems to me that you might. Therefore, it is funnier if you actually do it. This concept can be key to efficient comedy and it seems to me that if you knew the basics of Greasemonkeying you could whip up such a script in a few minutes. Null and void this section of the comment if doing such Greasemonkeying would actually take you, like it would take me, more than a few minutes' effort.
Finally, sex is totally hax and unless this evolves into an epic longboat journey or Jesus himself restores the IMG tag to this thread, I judge this the worst Metatalk thread ever. Seriously, you reset the days-between-Metatalk-posts for this?
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 9:36 PM on June 27, 2008
Therefore, it is funnier if you actually do it.
You misspelled "more time consuming". I know from time-consuming jokes, but it's been a busy night.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:38 PM on June 27, 2008
You misspelled "more time consuming". I know from time-consuming jokes, but it's been a busy night.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:38 PM on June 27, 2008
Well, that example is more like it. We must all sacrifice our time, health, safety, and dignity for comedy as we are able to.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 9:44 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 9:44 PM on June 27, 2008
Worst MeTa thread?! Sweet! Unfortunately for me, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of lame threads on par with mine.
posted by sunshinesky at 9:59 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by sunshinesky at 9:59 PM on June 27, 2008
Yes, we all loved the movie but for Jod's sake, you can't hack sex.
You misspelled Zod.
posted by jtron at 10:10 PM on June 27, 2008 [2 favorites]
you can't hack sex
Tell it to the mohels, pal.
*Shifts uncomfortably at the mere thought*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:18 PM on June 27, 2008
Tell it to the mohels, pal.
*Shifts uncomfortably at the mere thought*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:18 PM on June 27, 2008
Pfft, your ask was fine sunshinesky.
Wall-E made me miss the Mutant/Malor Deathmatch. What a day!
posted by Skorgu at 10:36 PM on June 27, 2008
Wall-E made me miss the Mutant/Malor Deathmatch. What a day!
posted by Skorgu at 10:36 PM on June 27, 2008
Maybe you cant hack sex.
MetaTalk: Where the mods come out to sweep-kick in you in the back of the knee, while onlookers favorite it. Nice.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:39 PM on June 27, 2008 [2 favorites]
MetaTalk: Where the mods come out to sweep-kick in you in the back of the knee, while onlookers favorite it. Nice.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:39 PM on June 27, 2008 [2 favorites]
I have to say that I didn't expect such a quick draw from a mod. They usually seem so darn wholesome and kind. Good show, this wasn't such a bad thread afterall!
posted by sunshinesky at 11:01 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by sunshinesky at 11:01 PM on June 27, 2008
Isn't a "hack" a taxi cab driver? Why do so many people have sexual fantasies about taxi cab drivers?
posted by amyms at 11:07 PM on June 27, 2008
posted by amyms at 11:07 PM on June 27, 2008
"hack my bunghole"
From the makers of Pimp My Ride? That'd be a fantastic show...to poop on.
posted by davejay at 12:07 AM on June 28, 2008
From the makers of Pimp My Ride? That'd be a fantastic show...to poop on.
posted by davejay at 12:07 AM on June 28, 2008
Sunshinesky has a point, Jessamyn; you pretty much could have closed the thread after your comment, deleted 0xFCAF's comment, and everyone would have been better off for it.
posted by davejay at 12:08 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by davejay at 12:08 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Oh man not this again. I think I've run out of snarky and facetious "hack" comments to make, I used them all up.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:14 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:14 AM on June 28, 2008
Yes, we all loved the movie but for Jod's sake, you can't hack sex.
I'll prove you wrong in 15 minutes or less, and I might not even have to touch you.1
*flexes Tantra muscles, crackling with energy*
1 Availability of offer depends on mutally acceptable levels of attraction, alignment of the planets, your own ability and experience, etc, etc.
posted by loquacious at 12:49 AM on June 28, 2008
I'll prove you wrong in 15 minutes or less, and I might not even have to touch you.1
*flexes Tantra muscles, crackling with energy*
1 Availability of offer depends on mutally acceptable levels of attraction, alignment of the planets, your own ability and experience, etc, etc.
posted by loquacious at 12:49 AM on June 28, 2008
That'd be a fantastic show...to poop on.
I'm not quite getting your pitch here, davejay. Are you saying that the weekly hack will result in the transformation of the guest bunghole into something resembling a Play Doh Fun Factory, and they'd then be expected to show off their creativity and artistic talent by building something out of the extruded shapes in the poop?
It doesn't sound like the kind of thing that our network would be interested in, but it's definitely edgy and might be more suited to one of the youth-oriented networks like MTV or Nickleodeon.
You might want to try shooting a pilot and putting it up on YouTube to see what kind of audience and feedback it gets before you pitch the idea again. Because it's kind of radical, you know? But there are definitely a whole bunch of advertisers who could be interested in a niche show like this: Depends, Ex-Lax, some butt plug people, etc.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:24 AM on June 28, 2008
I'm not quite getting your pitch here, davejay. Are you saying that the weekly hack will result in the transformation of the guest bunghole into something resembling a Play Doh Fun Factory, and they'd then be expected to show off their creativity and artistic talent by building something out of the extruded shapes in the poop?
It doesn't sound like the kind of thing that our network would be interested in, but it's definitely edgy and might be more suited to one of the youth-oriented networks like MTV or Nickleodeon.
You might want to try shooting a pilot and putting it up on YouTube to see what kind of audience and feedback it gets before you pitch the idea again. Because it's kind of radical, you know? But there are definitely a whole bunch of advertisers who could be interested in a niche show like this: Depends, Ex-Lax, some butt plug people, etc.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:24 AM on June 28, 2008
Are you saying that the weekly hack will result in the transformation of the guest bunghole into something resembling a Play Doh Fun Factory, and they'd then be expected to show off their creativity and artistic talent by building something out of the extruded shapes in the poop?
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I ALREADY HAVE PRIOR ART AND A PATENT APPLICATION ON THIS AND THAT YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY IN THE MORNING.
Fuck, it's Saturday, isn't it?
FINE THEN FIRST THING MONDAY MORNING!
Ask about our special goatse.cx package. It's totally meta. Inserts are available in a entire range of twenty-four sizes from "Have you ever been in a Turkish Prison?" to "Dear God, what is that thing!? And why did I park my 747 in it!?"
Once you have the appropriate sized insert, you can choose from hundreds of extrusion templates to use with it. Yes, you too can shit rainbows and unicorns! Collect them all!
posted by loquacious at 2:11 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I ALREADY HAVE PRIOR ART AND A PATENT APPLICATION ON THIS AND THAT YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY IN THE MORNING.
Fuck, it's Saturday, isn't it?
FINE THEN FIRST THING MONDAY MORNING!
Ask about our special goatse.cx package. It's totally meta. Inserts are available in a entire range of twenty-four sizes from "Have you ever been in a Turkish Prison?" to "Dear God, what is that thing!? And why did I park my 747 in it!?"
Once you have the appropriate sized insert, you can choose from hundreds of extrusion templates to use with it. Yes, you too can shit rainbows and unicorns! Collect them all!
posted by loquacious at 2:11 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Use of the word "hack" is up there with "Legos" around here in annoyance terms. It's spelt Lagos FFS.
posted by fire&wings at 2:26 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by fire&wings at 2:26 AM on June 28, 2008
Isn't a "hack" a taxi cab driver?
Not unless the cab is the driver.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:51 AM on June 28, 2008
Not unless the cab is the driver.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:51 AM on June 28, 2008
My fingers flew in a flurry of furious activity. It'd taken all evening to find a box I thought was adequately vulnerable. A quick port scan showed some interesting possibilities; and not just the obvious ones. With deft keystrokes, I made some progress towards getting to root, but it was slow and frustrating. Since I wasn't having any luck, I decided to check some forums to see if I could find other's reports of exploits.
Following a few suggestions, first I tried impressing her with my smarts. But she just wouldn't respond to any kind of dictionary attack, even foreign ones. Another veteran suggested I go for the backdoor. I'd heard about that before, that on some systems it was actually the best way in. But while I found a nice backdoor on this box, I was unable to gain access.
With faint traces of dawn streaming through my window shades, I popped the top on another Mountain Dew. I was going to master this system no matter how long it took.
posted by Eideteker at 3:58 AM on June 28, 2008 [6 favorites]
Following a few suggestions, first I tried impressing her with my smarts. But she just wouldn't respond to any kind of dictionary attack, even foreign ones. Another veteran suggested I go for the backdoor. I'd heard about that before, that on some systems it was actually the best way in. But while I found a nice backdoor on this box, I was unable to gain access.
With faint traces of dawn streaming through my window shades, I popped the top on another Mountain Dew. I was going to master this system no matter how long it took.
posted by Eideteker at 3:58 AM on June 28, 2008 [6 favorites]
I was going to master this system no matter how long it took.
Time to resort to a brute force attack, obviously.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:24 AM on June 28, 2008
Time to resort to a brute force attack, obviously.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:24 AM on June 28, 2008
Where the mods come out to sweep-kick in you in the back of the knee, while onlookers favorite it. Nice.
Just imagine being someone who tries to discreetly check out a self-help book from her library.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:34 AM on June 28, 2008
Just imagine being someone who tries to discreetly check out a self-help book from her library.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:34 AM on June 28, 2008
but for Jod's sake, you can't hack sex.
Jod vehemently disagrees.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:55 AM on June 28, 2008
Jod vehemently disagrees.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:55 AM on June 28, 2008
Heck, sax.
posted by Toekneesan at 5:40 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by Toekneesan at 5:40 AM on June 28, 2008
Burhanistan, I strongly approve of your Baldwin-hacking memory. Is there some sort of site tool that will allow me to indicate my approval and/or allow me to find your comment later, should I wish to peruse it again?
posted by cgc373 at 5:58 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by cgc373 at 5:58 AM on June 28, 2008
There is a Jod! Unfortunately, I just can't hack Latvian.
posted by lukemeister at 6:28 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by lukemeister at 6:28 AM on June 28, 2008
Hackety Sex! (runs around like Benny Hill)
posted by box at 7:35 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 7:35 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
There is a Jod! Unfortunately, I just can't hack Latvian.
And Jod turns out to be an alternate name for Velns, who "was a demon. He was married to Ragana. In many stories, the evil Velns was stupid and simply outwitted by shepherds and small boys." Now, there's a great way to insult somebody safely (unless, of course, they're Lativian): "Sure, Velns!"
From the same article:
Not only is Easter called Lieldienas, but the pussy willow has supplanted the palm frond in Christian symbolism. Palm Sunday is Pūpolsvētdiena, literally, Pussy Willow Sunday, and little children are awoken that morning by the ritualistic swats of a willow branch and the exclamation, "Apaļš kā pūpols, apaļš kā pūpols, apaļš kā pūpols!" ("Round like (the catkins of) a pussy willow!")
I leave the jokes to others.
posted by languagehat at 8:02 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
And Jod turns out to be an alternate name for Velns, who "was a demon. He was married to Ragana. In many stories, the evil Velns was stupid and simply outwitted by shepherds and small boys." Now, there's a great way to insult somebody safely (unless, of course, they're Lativian): "Sure, Velns!"
From the same article:
Not only is Easter called Lieldienas, but the pussy willow has supplanted the palm frond in Christian symbolism. Palm Sunday is Pūpolsvētdiena, literally, Pussy Willow Sunday, and little children are awoken that morning by the ritualistic swats of a willow branch and the exclamation, "Apaļš kā pūpols, apaļš kā pūpols, apaļš kā pūpols!" ("Round like (the catkins of) a pussy willow!")
I leave the jokes to others.
posted by languagehat at 8:02 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Here you go, anti-hacks for life.
I only read one entry, and it was pretty unreadable.
posted by Science! at 8:18 AM on June 28, 2008
I only read one entry, and it was pretty unreadable.
posted by Science! at 8:18 AM on June 28, 2008
I was going to master this system no matter how long it took.
Any system that allows easy access is probably infested with viruses anyway.
posted by empath at 8:53 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Any system that allows easy access is probably infested with viruses anyway.
posted by empath at 8:53 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
You know what I hate? The verb "curate". It used to have a simple, limited meaning, now it's used everywhere. I think people think it sounds somehow brainier and more academic and creative than simply compiling, editing, or sponsoring something. Anyway, I'll watch out for some arsewitted designer curating sex with their girlfriend or boyfriend. Because it will happen.
posted by WPW at 9:22 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by WPW at 9:22 AM on June 28, 2008
So your complaint is basically about a Curate Overload?
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:25 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:25 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Have you read O'Reilly's Hacking The Curate? It's scandalous.
posted by everichon at 9:35 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by everichon at 9:35 AM on June 28, 2008
I'd hack that.
posted by loiseau at 9:39 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by loiseau at 9:39 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
I tried to hack sex. The result where initially vigorous and satisfying, but, right at the climactic moment, my partner kicked very hard, sending my testicles flying in the air. As an autonomic response, my own legs kicked forward, coincidentally catching my testes as they began their downward trajectory, and sending them flying again. Thinking this was part of the plan, my partner watched my bells descend again, and kicked them into the air as they neared the floor. This continued for several minutes.
Yes, friends, I was a victim of hacky sack.
Let this be a warning to all of you.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:58 AM on June 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
Yes, friends, I was a victim of hacky sack.
Let this be a warning to all of you.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:58 AM on June 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
I like my meat curated and slow-cooked.
posted by lukemeister at 9:59 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by lukemeister at 9:59 AM on June 28, 2008
my partner watched my bells descend again
Well, there's your problem. Carillons and sex just don't mix.
posted by maudlin at 10:01 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Well, there's your problem. Carillons and sex just don't mix.
posted by maudlin at 10:01 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Carillons and sex just don't mix.
I don't feel fully supported in my lifestyle, here.
posted by everichon at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2008
I don't feel fully supported in my lifestyle, here.
posted by everichon at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2008
EMACS > Vi
posted by Dreamghost at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by Dreamghost at 10:07 AM on June 28, 2008
or of misalphabetization
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 10:16 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 10:16 AM on June 28, 2008
overcocking?
posted by suedehead at 10:19 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by suedehead at 10:19 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Sure, a meta callout for this is kind of lame, but using the word "hacks" when you mean "tips" ("I need sex tips, please...") is like hanging a sign around your neck saying "HIPSTER DOOFUS" or, perhaps, "VIRGIN".
posted by Justinian at 10:40 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Justinian at 10:40 AM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Hanging a sign around your neck saying "HIPSTER DOOFUS OR PERHAPS VIRGIN" would totally get you laid. It's a great hack for anyone wishing to curate sexual encounters!
posted by nowonmai at 10:58 AM on June 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by nowonmai at 10:58 AM on June 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
You are not "hacking" sex by figuring out how to do it well. You are just having sex the way it's meant to be had.
It would count as a hack if, say, we used sex for purely reproductive purposes, and you wanted to repurpose the act to get/give insane physical pleasure out of it. But striving for a basic level of competence in an area that is considered well-traveled and common does not make you hacker. It makes you a remedial student.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 11:02 AM on June 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
It would count as a hack if, say, we used sex for purely reproductive purposes, and you wanted to repurpose the act to get/give insane physical pleasure out of it. But striving for a basic level of competence in an area that is considered well-traveled and common does not make you hacker. It makes you a remedial student.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 11:02 AM on June 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
using the word "hacks" when you mean "tips"
I don't know Gina Trapani, she certainly seems like a very nice person from her blog persona, but damn if there isn't a specific circle of hell prepared for her for aiding in the propagation of this extremely grating usage.
Disclaimer: I really am struck by how intelligent and helpful and non-snarky her LH presence is. That she's Gawker Media is kind of funny.
posted by everichon at 11:04 AM on June 28, 2008
I don't know Gina Trapani, she certainly seems like a very nice person from her blog persona, but damn if there isn't a specific circle of hell prepared for her for aiding in the propagation of this extremely grating usage.
Disclaimer: I really am struck by how intelligent and helpful and non-snarky her LH presence is. That she's Gawker Media is kind of funny.
posted by everichon at 11:04 AM on June 28, 2008
Have you read O'Reilly's Hacking The Curate? It's scandalous.
Is that a sequel to Curating the Hack? I recommend that to everyone with the poster's sensitivities.
posted by languagehat at 11:12 AM on June 28, 2008
Is that a sequel to Curating the Hack? I recommend that to everyone with the poster's sensitivities.
posted by languagehat at 11:12 AM on June 28, 2008
sex can be pretty hacking even without any effort, as much as one (or more) can 'sex' w/o effort.
posted by dawson at 11:22 AM on June 28, 2008
posted by dawson at 11:22 AM on June 28, 2008
I never saw such hacks!
You can take all your hacks and pack 'em up and go to Hackensack (located between Teaneck and Lodi in the 'silly names' part of New Jersey), or Hackney (but that would be a rather hackneyed thing to do).
I'm just sorry somebody beat me to "hacking cough" (which I actually woke up with today) and "I'd hack it" (which I did NOT).
note: Everyone needs a hack.
posted by wendell at 2:06 PM on June 28, 2008
You can take all your hacks and pack 'em up and go to Hackensack (located between Teaneck and Lodi in the 'silly names' part of New Jersey), or Hackney (but that would be a rather hackneyed thing to do).
I'm just sorry somebody beat me to "hacking cough" (which I actually woke up with today) and "I'd hack it" (which I did NOT).
note: Everyone needs a hack.
posted by wendell at 2:06 PM on June 28, 2008
I consider this yet more painful fallout from the unremarked-upon retconning of hacker to cracker whenever the former term could have been viewed in an illegal or pejorative manner. No, really. Hacking, by the word entered the public usage in the 80's as it relates to computers, originally was about the subversion of institutional systems for personal use. Forget the MIT building hacking, nobody remembers that, apparently. Now the 90's roll in, and suddenly the nerds figure they need better PR. Enter cracker, which sounds like a safe-cracker, and suddenly you have a brand new way to differentiate white hates from black hats. Suddenly, hackers are supposedly helpful. They point out your security flaws. They're tirelessly working to make better widgets so you can get your commercial crap mailed to you faster, and rather than being nasty and digging through your email; they're cuddly, if slightly socially clueless and desperate to please. And, well, it's quite easy to insist that it was never any other way. Grep webpages with the outdated terminology and replace it wherever it appears. Eric S. Raymond has definitely upgraded our chocolate ration here.
In the late eighties, when we had thick stacks of white-and-green striped printouts of everyone's passwords, we referred to the brute-forcing of passwords as cracking (and that was the only time it was used), but everything else we did prowling about where we were not supposed to be was hacking. Notice how it's a very electronic version of the MIT building usage. Nobody we talked to ever used anything different. Suddenly, this cracker word shows up and we all had a WTF? moment while we realized this was strictly a public relations move.
But because not everyone has bought into it, at least at a conscious level, hack has broken out into the public as a sloppy hybrid of the two usages, a way to improve things, but somewhat selfishly, and still with this kind of secret shortcut mentality. I don't want to stand in line with everyone else, I want to hack my way to a faster solution. Geez, this is hard work, I should hack out something fast. I don't want to spend months learning how to make love to this one person, where's that secret exploit that all women have? There's a buffer overrun in her G-spot that makes her dump core, just overload her inputs and watch the output freak out.
Unintended consequences appear when you mess with anything, even language, and HAX! is one of them.
posted by adipocere at 2:28 PM on June 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
In the late eighties, when we had thick stacks of white-and-green striped printouts of everyone's passwords, we referred to the brute-forcing of passwords as cracking (and that was the only time it was used), but everything else we did prowling about where we were not supposed to be was hacking. Notice how it's a very electronic version of the MIT building usage. Nobody we talked to ever used anything different. Suddenly, this cracker word shows up and we all had a WTF? moment while we realized this was strictly a public relations move.
But because not everyone has bought into it, at least at a conscious level, hack has broken out into the public as a sloppy hybrid of the two usages, a way to improve things, but somewhat selfishly, and still with this kind of secret shortcut mentality. I don't want to stand in line with everyone else, I want to hack my way to a faster solution. Geez, this is hard work, I should hack out something fast. I don't want to spend months learning how to make love to this one person, where's that secret exploit that all women have? There's a buffer overrun in her G-spot that makes her dump core, just overload her inputs and watch the output freak out.
Unintended consequences appear when you mess with anything, even language, and HAX! is one of them.
posted by adipocere at 2:28 PM on June 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
When I was a choirboy, the parish curate hacked my bunghole.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:45 PM on June 28, 2008
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:45 PM on June 28, 2008
you can't hack sex
P.J. O'Rourke would like to disagree with you.
How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:53 PM on June 28, 2008
P.J. O'Rourke would like to disagree with you.
How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:53 PM on June 28, 2008
Sigh… Here you go, TheOnlyCoolTim (or maybe cortex or WPW).
posted by hattifattener at 3:17 PM on June 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by hattifattener at 3:17 PM on June 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
When I was a choirboy, the parish curate hacked my bunghole.
To be pedantic, that was more cracking than hacking.
posted by loquacious at 4:00 PM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
To be pedantic, that was more cracking than hacking.
posted by loquacious at 4:00 PM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
I went to film school, so I got to know a lot of fucking hacks.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:29 PM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:29 PM on June 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Hey kids! Parents strict about cussing? Try "heck"—the hell hack!
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:53 PM on June 28, 2008
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:53 PM on June 28, 2008
I consider this yet more painful fallout from the unremarked-upon retconning of hacker to cracker whenever the former term could have been viewed in an illegal or pejorative manner.
Well, they tried that but it never really succeeded.
posted by delmoi at 5:13 PM on June 28, 2008
Well, they tried that but it never really succeeded.
posted by delmoi at 5:13 PM on June 28, 2008
I am looking for ways to pop popcorn besides the traditional ways. Links?
posted by mattbucher at 5:45 PM on June 28, 2008
posted by mattbucher at 5:45 PM on June 28, 2008
Why do I feel like this is all going to lead to the Dr. Demento favorite "Silicon Valley Guy?"
posted by maxwelton at 10:25 PM on June 28, 2008
posted by maxwelton at 10:25 PM on June 28, 2008
While we're at it, I hate the word "repurpose." Snark, please?
posted by m0nm0n at 2:05 AM on June 29, 2008
posted by m0nm0n at 2:05 AM on June 29, 2008
Well, they tried that but it never really succeeded.
Maybe they should have described the effort as "hacking." That seems to be more popular then "retconning."
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:41 AM on June 29, 2008
Maybe they should have described the effort as "hacking." That seems to be more popular then "retconning."
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:41 AM on June 29, 2008
I think the more pressing issue is getting people here to stop pimping things.
posted by jayder at 2:08 PM on June 29, 2008
posted by jayder at 2:08 PM on June 29, 2008
This thread arouses me.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:09 PM on June 29, 2008
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:09 PM on June 29, 2008
Yeah, I don't like the sound of Pimp Mom's Clambook at all.
posted by lukemeister at 3:32 PM on June 29, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by lukemeister at 3:32 PM on June 29, 2008 [1 favorite]
And Jod turns out to be an alternate name for Velns, who "was a demon. He was married to Ragana. In many stories, the evil Velns was stupid and simply outwitted by shepherds and small boys." And Jod turns out to be an alternate name for Velns, who "was a demon. He was married to Ragana. In many stories, the evil Velns was stupid and simply outwitted by shepherds and small boys." Now, there's a great way to insult somebody safely (unless, of course, they're Latvian): "Sure, Velns!"
I'll admit I don't know much about the old mythology, but in the vernacular, "Velns" simply means (the) devil, and Ragana means witch.
"Sure, velns" would be taken as "Yeh, right, you devil"
Tidbit: "Lai velns tevi parauj" (may the devil devour you) is the Latvian equivalent of "break a leg"
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:03 PM on June 29, 2008
I'll admit I don't know much about the old mythology, but in the vernacular, "Velns" simply means (the) devil, and Ragana means witch.
"Sure, velns" would be taken as "Yeh, right, you devil"
Tidbit: "Lai velns tevi parauj" (may the devil devour you) is the Latvian equivalent of "break a leg"
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:03 PM on June 29, 2008
"hack my bunghole"
From the makers of Pimp My Ride? That'd be a fantastic show...to poop on.
I'm picturing goatse, except with antique French doors and some nice lace curtains.
As for tubgirl...well, I think stainless steel would be the way to go.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:00 PM on June 29, 2008
From the makers of Pimp My Ride? That'd be a fantastic show...to poop on.
I'm picturing goatse, except with antique French doors and some nice lace curtains.
As for tubgirl...well, I think stainless steel would be the way to go.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:00 PM on June 29, 2008
Burhanistan: "...it's interesting to see how computer use has changed our entire metaphorical outlook..."
This is the worst part of this entire thread. The idea that somehow the word "hack" sprung from nothingness to mean "to break into a computer system" (or depending on who you ask simply "to play with a computer for its own sake") is not only inaccurate, but also silly on its very face. It only works if you ignore the long-extant uses of the word hack as in "Cortex is a hack writer" or "I'll take a hack at explaining this to you".
The Jargon File high-level definition of hack ("an appropriate application of ingenuity") shows how (potentially) appropriate the verb is to sex, sandwiches, resume writing, umbrella design, coffee filter origami, or really anything else a person cares to do. Asking askers to abandon the word is like forcing all questions to be written without the letter E: arbitrary, pointless, and distracting from the point of AskMe.
posted by Plutor at 5:04 AM on June 30, 2008
This is the worst part of this entire thread. The idea that somehow the word "hack" sprung from nothingness to mean "to break into a computer system" (or depending on who you ask simply "to play with a computer for its own sake") is not only inaccurate, but also silly on its very face. It only works if you ignore the long-extant uses of the word hack as in "Cortex is a hack writer" or "I'll take a hack at explaining this to you".
The Jargon File high-level definition of hack ("an appropriate application of ingenuity") shows how (potentially) appropriate the verb is to sex, sandwiches, resume writing, umbrella design, coffee filter origami, or really anything else a person cares to do. Asking askers to abandon the word is like forcing all questions to be written without the letter E: arbitrary, pointless, and distracting from the point of AskMe.
posted by Plutor at 5:04 AM on June 30, 2008
Yes, and according to this thread, people also use it in reference to sex "hacking". A specific use doesn't trump general meaning (see "run").
posted by Plutor at 9:02 AM on June 30, 2008
posted by Plutor at 9:02 AM on June 30, 2008
« Older Backstabbing is not conducive to intellectual... | It is difficult to get a man to understand... Newer »
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments
posted by 0xFCAF at 8:57 PM on June 27, 2008 [2 favorites]