Astor Zombie is a Favorite Tycoon

July 28, 2008 6:16 PM

Astro Zombie had a comment with 15 favorites in MetaFilter. 5 hours ago
Astro Zombie had a comment with 41 favorites in MetaFilter. 6 hours ago
Astro Zombie had a comment with 23 favorites in MetaFilter. 6 hours ago

How do I get rid of this Astro Zombie character, anyway?

Seriously, this is just to draw a little more attention to one of (IM(NS)HO) the most beloved and appreciated members of the site. The fact that he's currently three of the top three in my own sidebar just kind of confirms that. The last time that happened, I believe it was by a little band from Liverpool.

Thank you, Astro Zombie!

posted by yhbc to MetaFilter-related at 6:16 PM (77 comments total)

Furs, then real estate, now favorites. Those Astor Zombies don't give up.
posted by cortex at 6:19 PM on July 28, 2008 [8 favorites]

Okay, that was an entirely intentional historical-reference pun, not a typo.
posted by yhbc at 6:21 PM on July 28, 2008

I can't even tell if you're rightly chastizing me or ironically backpedaling.
posted by cortex at 6:26 PM on July 28, 2008

Aster Zombie is generally the funniest of the undead flowering plants.
posted by Kwine at 6:28 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I made a video of my girlfriend reading one of Astro Zombie's comments and favoriting it while she cried. I put it on youtube and it got a jillion hits. Astro Zombie MeMailed me and said it inspired him to keep writing excellent comments, even though some days he only felt like saying "Meh."

He also gave me and my girlfriend a restraining order. We had it framed and it sits on the mantle.
posted by kyleg at 6:28 PM on July 28, 2008 [36 favorites]

Stake through the heart, right? although he's an astro zombie, so you may need some space age materials like fiberglas or nutrasweet.
posted by jonmc at 6:29 PM on July 28, 2008

That's vampires, dude.
posted by cortex at 6:30 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think we're done here. Let's close this up.

But seriously, though. There are several folks here on MeFi that remind me while I'd love to write comedy professionally, if they aren't famous yet, I don't have a chance. Thanks for the lulz.
posted by Eideteker at 6:32 PM on July 28, 2008

astro zombies!

(I like him too :)
posted by vronsky at 6:34 PM on July 28, 2008

yhbc: If you really wanna get rid of this Astro Zombie character, I will step up to take him down fair and square.

I will also personally be taking all bets in my favor.

I plan to lose this fight pretty badly.

Because Astro Zombie is fucking awesome.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:39 PM on July 28, 2008

An army of flying greasemonkeys would probably settle his score.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:46 PM on July 28, 2008

I can't stop reading MeFi for the day until I've favorited Astro Zombie. Or get an erection.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 6:47 PM on July 28, 2008

How do I get rid of this Astro Zombie character, anyway?
Shotgun to the head.
posted by plinth at 6:49 PM on July 28, 2008

Raygun to the head.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 6:51 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

posted by yhbc How do I get rid of this Astro Zombie character, anyway?

With just a touch of my burning hand, I send my astro zombies to rape this land. Prime directive: exterminate the whole human race. And your face drops in a pile of flesh, and then your heart, heart pounds 'til it pumps in death.

All I wanted to say--and all I gotta do--who'd I do this for; hey, me or you?
posted by optovox at 6:53 PM on July 28, 2008

I wonder if his brother, Rob, is proud of him? He should be.
posted by NoMich at 6:55 PM on July 28, 2008

This was the noblest Mefi of them all;
All the conspirators save only he
Did that they did in envy of great Astro Zombie ;
He, only, in a general honest thought
And common good to all, made one of them.
His life was gentle, and the elements
So mixed in him that Nature might stand up
And say to all the world, 'This was a man!'
posted by nola at 6:57 PM on July 28, 2008

Stake through the heart! And you're to-oo blaaaaame! You give looooooooove... a... bad... sorry.
posted by katillathehun at 6:59 PM on July 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

How to dispose of an Astro Zombie.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:03 PM on July 28, 2008

george jetson's undead dog.
posted by quonsar at 7:08 PM on July 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Ruh-roh. Rou're right, ron-rar!
posted by yhbc at 7:12 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

As long as we're pimping our favorite Mefites, I would like to give Mr. Greg Nog a nod.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:13 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

I like how the sweet anecdote and the bitter refutation are balanced out by a couple of easy zingers.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:15 PM on July 28, 2008

retro zombie.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:24 PM on July 28, 2008

As long as we're pimping our favorite Mefites, I would like to give Mr. Greg Nog a nod.

What do you charge for an hour's rough use of him?
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:32 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

As long as we're pimping our favorite Mefites

Are you giving them fresh paint jobs and over-the-top stereo systems, or just selling them on the streets, TPS?
posted by heeeraldo at 7:32 PM on July 28, 2008

Honestly, has no one read the Zombie Survival Guide? Penetrating and destroying the head, people, shot gun or melee.

Geez.
posted by Phire at 7:45 PM on July 28, 2008

Sugar and borax, sifted together and placed along the baseboards. Don't use too much borax, though, or the Astro Zombies will leave it alone.
posted by jtron at 7:49 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Astro who? Is this somebody I should know? Cause, like, he doesn't even have a wiki page.

Yeah, ok, so he showed up on the blue once, but, hey, big whoop, right?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:49 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

nutrasweet kills vampires?
posted by jonmc at 7:55 PM on July 28, 2008

...and little kids.
That's why Dizzy can't find Flintstones Vitamins for Little Dizzy, and Little Dizzy
is not happy about that.
posted by Dizzy at 8:28 PM on July 28, 2008

Oh yeah? Well, I don't like any of you, either!
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:44 PM on July 28, 2008

Reminds me of that old saying: behind every successful Astro Zombie, there's an Astro Zombie 2.
posted by A dead Quaker at 8:56 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Seriously, though, if you're not reading Astro Zombie's blog, you're missing out. It is easily the highlight of my daily RSS feed, and makes me feel like less of a man. In a good way.

Astro Zombie 2's blog hasn't been updated in a good long while, unfortunately, and I think Astro Zombie 3 sticks to mySpace, which I avoid, so.
posted by jtron at 8:59 PM on July 28, 2008

I'm certain Sailor Martin will hearken Eris and do that stabby job one of these muddled and ink-dumb evenings, when no prayer takes hurtling to a tailwind.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:07 PM on July 28, 2008

I like Astro Zombie!
posted by ikkyu2 at 9:48 PM on July 28, 2008 [1 favorite]

Speaking of favorite MeFites, I've been missing the wonderful nickyskye, since she stopped contributing here, due to health reasons, back in March. I wrote her just a few days ago, and received a gracious reply, informing that she is doing well. Many of you probably already know about this, but for anyone who doesn't, you can keep updated on her progress here. I sure hope she resumes her presence here at MeFi as soon as she's feeling up to it. She's like a ray of light.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:59 PM on July 28, 2008 [6 favorites]

NARF!
posted by Astro Zombie 3 at 10:03 PM on July 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Thanks, flapjax. Glad to know she's doing better.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:05 PM on July 28, 2008

Oh my God, it's full of undead stars!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:10 PM on July 28, 2008

I'm very glad to hear about nickyskye. She's a good egg.

Thanks for the nice comments, all. I assume I am in part benefiting from increased visibility and goodwill engendered by my girlfriend's Pixar experiences, but I really appreciate your comments.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:12 PM on July 28, 2008

By the way, I probably shouldn't be saying this, but astro zombies are solar powered. The key to stopping them is snapping off the solar cells on their head. Or, I suppose, turning out the light.

How do I know this? In part, because I discovered that if you email Astro Zombies creator Ted Mikels, he emails you back, usually within the hour. And I have abused that.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:29 PM on July 28, 2008

You know who else responds to email? Him.
posted by netbros at 12:20 AM on July 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie...

C'mon, everyone!

Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie...
posted by davejay at 12:40 AM on July 29, 2008

I'd been out of the MeFi loop for a while (due to uh, no good reason) so thanks flapjax for the update on nickyskye - I'd been wondering about her!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:12 AM on July 29, 2008

No metastases is always good news, except when you're talking about Astro Zombies. I think they breed that way.
posted by Citizen Premier at 1:16 AM on July 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

He's a good zombie, if you're into that sort of thing.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:38 AM on July 29, 2008

He bestrides my world like a colossus.

If I look up, I can see his tallywhacker under his tunic.
posted by Jofus at 3:33 AM on July 29, 2008

Astro Zombie 3 is my favorite of the group. Such understated elegance.
posted by Skorgu at 4:36 AM on July 29, 2008

I, too, would like to monkey-groom Greg Nog.
posted by cowbellemoo at 6:47 AM on July 29, 2008

I, too, would like to monkey-groom Greg Nog.

Have you met the guy, he actually arrives pre-groomed. I don't know what his secret is!
posted by jessamyn at 7:04 AM on July 29, 2008

I don't know what his secret is!

Well, I did hear he has a monkey on his back.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:33 AM on July 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

And here I thought it was peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time.
posted by willmize at 7:39 AM on July 29, 2008

He can't be stopped. I established a secret organization a few years ago specifically for the purposes of compiling a worst-case-scenario playbook for dealing with an Astro Zombie gone mad situation.

We evaluated biochemical warfare, the nuclear option, giant robots, teams of ninjas, giant robot ninjas, and our computer modeling indicated that in all instances, Astro Zombie would come out unscathed.

It was a bit dispiriting, but eventually we came up with a new plan: Appeasement. We give him what he wants (favorites) and he doesn't activate his mission for world destruction.

It's worked so far.
posted by quin at 8:02 AM on July 29, 2008

I like all the Astro Zombies and Greg Nog too. I was in the Olive Garden the other day (hate all you want, but you can't beat that unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks lunch baby!) and I wanted to say to the host that seated us, "There is this cool series of comics online called 'I am a Host at The Olive Garden' that you should really check out cause they rock." but I was too chicken. So then I just gorged myself on soup salad and breadsticks in shame. They were delicious!
posted by ND¢ at 8:23 AM on July 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

No, no you guys-- the only way to stop a zombie with astro powers is to get a faith healer from a UFO church to invoke the power of Cosmic Jesus and bring him back to life, after which he wanders harmlessly off to find some clean geeky clothes, take a shower, look for a job in high tech, and try to rent an apartment (good luck there, pal, when landlords find out you once reduced a twenty story condominium tower to rubble no more than two inches in diameter).

But we drove all our faith healers out years ago. We're totally at his mercy.

Way to go, militant secular humanists.
posted by jamjam at 8:41 AM on July 29, 2008

Honestly, has no one read the Zombie Survival Guide?

I gave this as a Secret Santa gift one year when I worked at a stuffy law firm. People either thought I was odd or awesome.
posted by desjardins at 9:12 AM on July 29, 2008

NARF!

I agree, I think it's a shame that AZ gets all the love and attention and you get bubkes. So I favorited your comment. It's not much, but it's all I've got.

Thanks for the update on nickyskye, flapjax. I've been thinking about her.
posted by languagehat at 9:19 AM on July 29, 2008

I am working on a painting of Astro Zombie, naked, riding a zebra.
posted by xod at 9:25 AM on July 29, 2008

Da Zomb iz Da Bomb.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:27 AM on July 29, 2008

Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie...
Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie...


mushroom, mushroom
posted by CitizenD at 10:04 AM on July 29, 2008

XOD, you would make me the happiest man on earth.

Although, I must say, my happiness is somewhat tempered by the fact that this lovely thread also seems to concern itself with the question of how to kill me.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:14 AM on July 29, 2008

The plan involves a painting of somebody naked riding a zebra. I can say no more.
posted by arto at 10:28 AM on July 29, 2008

Have you met the guy, he actually arrives pre-groomed.

Dammit! How else are we to bond and enrich our social ties? I can just see it. I'll try to vocalize and then he'll adopt a defensive posture and it'll just go downhill from there. What a fucking mess.
posted by cowbellemoo at 10:32 AM on July 29, 2008

What do you expect, man? You think we want you eating our space brains?
posted by Caduceus at 10:32 AM on July 29, 2008

It now seems that there is a chance I might have known the real life Astro Zombie back in 1993-94. I lived in Minneapolis and was involved in various activist stuff. I recall going to a Max's apartment to discuss creating a green map of Minneapolis. Bells? A man named Drew was also there, for reference.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 10:32 AM on July 29, 2008

Ah, quick question:

Did you and the other Astro Zombies just sort of walk through space until you reached the earth, or did you make use of some sort of conveyance.

Sincerely &c.
Chthonic Wolfman
posted by Mister_A at 10:37 AM on July 29, 2008

AZ, have you applied for a job at Pixar, yet? Cause like, you should.
posted by empath at 10:40 AM on July 29, 2008

That does ring a bell, strangeleftydoublethink. I did start out in the anarchist scene doing green stuff. And I can't think of any other TC anarchists at the time named Max. Must have been me.

In answer to your question, Chthonic Wolfman, we are created from the bodies of dead astronauts in order to be able to eternally fly spaceships, so we actually started out on earth.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:42 AM on July 29, 2008

I knew Astro Zombie when he was still alive! I knew Astro Zombie when he was still alive!
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 10:45 AM on July 29, 2008

DOWN WITH ASTRO ZOMBIE!!!!!

UP WITH ASTRO ZOMBIE 3!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 11:10 AM on July 29, 2008

NARF SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW
posted by cortex at 11:11 AM on July 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

How do I get rid of this Astro Zombie character, anyway?

Chainsaw Lazer..?
Chain Lazer Saw..?
Lazesaw?

Lazesaw.

You cut off his head with a lazesaw.
posted by brundlefly at 3:24 PM on July 29, 2008

My team studied the possibilities of a lazesaw decapitation, but Astro Zombies creators were very clever. When the blade gets close, it will encounter the complicated electromagnetic countermeasures that his dessicated body produces. This will either cause the blade to simply fail, or if you are very, very unlucky, make the laser assembly go into what we called "Rave mode" where it pulses like strobelight and produces a pounding techno beat.

Our model indicated that this would cause him to either become infuriated and destroy everything, or possibly start dancing. We didn't feel that either possibility was worth the risk it posed to the world.
posted by quin at 3:34 PM on July 29, 2008

We saw this place when we were in Albuquerque, and for some reason it made us think of Astro Zombie.
posted by gingerbeer at 3:51 PM on July 29, 2008

Astro-George & George/Astro
posted by Tube at 10:30 PM on July 29, 2008

Anybody have a current total favorites rank?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:50 PM on August 1, 2008