Listless listed

August 13, 2008 4:45 PM

User feelinglistless had a strangely accurate vision for the future of Doctor Who back in 2003..

A vision for the future of television Doctor Who:

Main Characters:
The Doctor
Female companion
The TARDIS (1)

Doctor 9, Rose, TARDIS were the stars of series 1.

Six one hour episodes. (2)

Twelve episodes, fourty five minutes.

First episode - Cybermen. Last episode – Daleks (with cliffhanger ending) (3)

Cybermen not introduced until series 2 - Last episode - Daleks (with regeneration)

In between, The Doctor takes his companion to see the first civilisations (Stonehenge, Ancient Egypt, even earlier) and the end of time (last surviving human, aliens trading the last human DNA remains). Episode set on a strange alien planet, episode on a starship. (4)

Doctor takes Rose to the end of the world, meets final pure bred human, several episodes on starships.

Ignore continuity references, but don’t contradict anything too much. (5)

Continuity more or less obliterated by the end of episode 2.

No romance, but lots of flirting. (6)

Check.

Family show, but scary enough to need a sofa (7)

Even Steven Moffat's most frightening episodes are okay for children.

He also said Gallifrey shouldn't be a focus (wasn't even named until 2 years on), should give one companion depth instead of touching on several (Rose the companion with most depth, ever), among other things..

posted by mediocre to MetaFilter-related at 4:45 PM (61 comments total)

I think everybody's too afraid for their dicks to reply.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:01 PM on August 13, 2008 [3 favorites]

That is to say, "too worried about harm being done to, etc." Not that they're so worried that their dicks are rendered speechless. Point of clarity.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:02 PM on August 13, 2008

Is this something I would need to be British to understand?
posted by mathowie at 5:02 PM on August 13, 2008

Perhaps he... came from the future?
posted by GuyZero at 5:03 PM on August 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

OH MY GOD MY DICK.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:07 PM on August 13, 2008

You know, I've never watched Doctor Who, it looks too silly.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:07 PM on August 13, 2008

among other things..

Do tell.
posted by kosem at 5:09 PM on August 13, 2008

Note that feelinglistless wears a hell of a scarf.
posted by cortex at 5:10 PM on August 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

These predictions are sufficiently general (based on knowledge of the original series) that they can hardly be called strangely accurate. I haven't watched the series since I made fun of my brother for wearing a celery stalk in his lapel in junior high but these things all seem pretty obvious.
posted by loiseau at 5:15 PM on August 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

Austin: Listen, dad, if you are are going to say naughty things in front of these American girls then at least speak English English.

[Nigel looks back at girls]

Nigel: All right, my son: I could've had it away with this cracking Julie, my old China. (Subtitle: I was about to make love to this pretty girl.)
Austin: Are you telling a bunch pork-pies and a bag of trout? Because if you are feeling quigly, why not just have a J. Arthur? (Is this true? If you were aroused, why didn't you pleasure yourself?)
Nigel: What, billy no mates? (What, alone?)
Austin: Too right, youth. (Indeed.)
Nigel: Don't you remember the crimbo din-din we had with the grotty Scots bint? (Remember Christmas dinner with the Scottish girl?)
Austin: Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens! (The insane one?)
Nigel: Yeah, yeah, she was the trouble and strife of the Morris dancer what lived up the apples and pears! (She was the wife of the dancer who lived upstairs.)
Austin: She was the barrister what become a bobby in a lorry and... (A lawyer who became a policeman in a truck) [complete gibberish] (????????)...
Austin & Nigel: --tea kettle!
Nigel: And then, and then--
Austin & Nigel: She shat on a turtle!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:16 PM on August 13, 2008 [4 favorites]

But he never predicted Dalek porn!
posted by homunculus at 5:21 PM on August 13, 2008

I've seen exactly one episode of the new series. Scared the shit outta me though.
posted by puke & cry at 5:27 PM on August 13, 2008

The best Metafilter-based strangely accurate vision for the future ever.
posted by fire&wings at 5:54 PM on August 13, 2008 [9 favorites]

As far as I can see, his predictions amounted to:
1) there would be daleks and cybermen
2) there'd be a companion
3) there'd be a tardis
4) they would travel through time and space

Man, that guy's psychic!
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:00 PM on August 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Is this something I would need to be British to understand?
posted by mathowie

Or at least a bigger nerd than we have been lead to believe. But I kid the big guy, I kid.
posted by nola at 6:11 PM on August 13, 2008

Hey this is nothing. You know, in three separate comments, back in 1999, quonsar predicted 9/11, the emergence of "SLYT" as a signifier in MeFi posts, and that the China Olympics opening ceremony would feature a child lip-synching, badly. But all three of these comments have now been removed. Coincidence?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:47 PM on August 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Let me be the first to say that I absolutely love the Doctor - the way he gets into everyone's faces with that lyrical Cockney accent, while skulking about in that frock coat of his...it's great stuff. Especially when he threatens to kill his adversaries with a hint of a knowing wink to the audience.

What I don't understand is why he has to have that giant LifeSaver attached to his eye.
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:55 PM on August 13, 2008 [4 favorites]

eponysterical.
posted by Dave Faris at 7:05 PM on August 13, 2008 [1 favorite]

Every time you say you 'absolutely love the Doctor' and then go on to describe 10 instead of 9, Billie Piper stabs someone to death with a tube of mascara.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 7:42 PM on August 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

@fire&wings: alas, that would seem to be so. (I seem to remember spending days loading & reloading that thread.)
posted by epersonae at 8:09 PM on August 13, 2008

>Is this something I would need to be British to understand?

Not British, Commonwealth,
posted by pompomtom at 9:00 PM on August 13, 2008

Or at least a bigger nerd than we have been lead to believe.

Doctor Who nerds are a peculiar breed, before the re-vitalization of the franchise in 2005 I'd say Doctor Who fans were somewhere above furries somewhere below Cosplayers in the Nerd Tree Of Derision..

But I don't care, I was a fan then, I'm a fan now. Hell, one of my hip hop tracks has two prominent Doctor Who vocal samples..
posted by mediocre at 11:16 PM on August 13, 2008 [2 favorites]

I read this pretty carefully and I'm still confused.
posted by Kwine at 11:59 PM on August 13, 2008

Originally written in April 2002. (self link)

In my defence, *then* a new series looked like a fantasy and the last 'official' revamp was Death Comes To Time, a continuity heavy, largely depressing web series, and this was written as a reaction to that.
posted by feelinglistless at 12:11 AM on August 14, 2008

Meh. That's not Dalek porn.

This is Dalek porn.
posted by Pinback at 1:14 AM on August 14, 2008

Honestly, that picture of Jo with a sucker between her milky, third doctor assisting thighs does a lot more for me then the entirety of Captured By Daleks, which is a whole lot of buildup towards some ultra lame softcore scenes..

Gotta love those unlicensed, no budget, BBV produced, well meaning, but dreadfully made "movies" that leave you wondering, "Why did they, the actors who played the 6th and 7th Doctors, agree to be in such tripe?"
posted by mediocre at 2:54 AM on August 14, 2008

Well done, mediocre. You have stumbled upon one of the greatest mysteries to face our planet since our species began recording its history. And thanks to your efforts here today, everyone who reads this thread will be further educated on the mysterious figure known only as 'The Doctor.'

The website Who Is Doctor Who tracks this (we believe quite possibly alien) threat to our world. You probably saw a reference to it in the 'pilot' episode of the show created for the sole purpose of fooling us all, Doctor Who, namely the episode entitled Rose.

Have no doubt; the TV series, Doctor Who, is designed to trick us into thinking the Doctor is a fictional character. For over 40 years they (the BBC and its co-conspirators) have gone to such lengths to fool the public into thinking this that they have gone on to produce over 750 episodes of quality televisual entertainment to perpetuate The Lie. They even featured the aforementioned website in the aforementioned episode. They want you to believe The Doctor, who has worked with the UN and the British military to thwart countless alien invasions, is fictional. He is anything but. He is very real and we, a small but dedicated team of Whovian enthusiasts, have tracked his actions throughout our planet's history.

The Doctor was there when Pompeii erupted, when JFK was assassinated and he even spent time with the Aztecs and the ancient Romans. Through these actions we believe that he has interfered with our history on such a grand scale that those who follow his actions are left in no doubt that we are, in fact, currently living in an altered history.

It appears as though (indeed, it seems clear to me) that The Doctor has now signed on as a MeFite under the handle 'feelinglistless'. As is The Doctors habit, he once again revealed a part of the future to his hapless human companions (the Metafilter community at large) by posting surprisingly accurate spoiler details of a relaunched series of Doctor Who years before it actually launched.

Some would argue that this was simply the work of a BBC staffer who knew too much. Or perhaps that he was in fact merely Russel T Davies or Steven Moffat. Pish posh, say I! Clearly the more logical, if not more sane explanation to all of this is that this was an ancient alien being from Gallifrey named The Doctor, posting as a MeFite to reveal the plot details of a cult BBC series designed to shield him from the public's gaze.

Perhaps through these actions we are living in an altered history once more. Is this so impossible to believe? As you pointed out, mediocre, The Doctor said that Cybermen would be in the first episode, but this was not the case. Or was it meant to be the case, but through the Doctors interference, we were left with a kind of Autons rip-off for an enemy? I suppose we will never know.

Once again, congratulations mediocre, for revealing The Doctor to be the menace that he is! Perhaps by shining the spot light on his actions, such as you have done here today, more people will come to know of The Doctor and watch his actions through time and space. No matter which way you look at it, this can only be a good thing.
posted by Effigy2000 at 4:13 AM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

loiseau: "These predictions are sufficiently general (based on knowledge of the original series) that they can hardly be called strangely accurate."

I predict that the upcoming Star Trek movie will meet the following criteria:
* Somewhere between two hours and three hours long
* Much will happen in space, and probably some will happen on Earth
* Kirk and Uhura will have at least one conversation
* Bones will probably insult Spock's non-human-ness
posted by Plutor at 4:30 AM on August 14, 2008

This is hysterical since most of the specific predictions are just wrong, and the others are just "it will be like the old series".
posted by smackfu at 5:38 AM on August 14, 2008

Billy Piper is showing up on some of the Showtime posters on the subway these days. How's her new show?

How about Metafilter's predictions for Dr Who's next four years?

Let's see: More Daleks, Cybermen, Sontarans, and creepy children.

At least one episode per season that involves "Don't stand in the shadow/Blink/Say the word 'it'".

More Torchwood tie-ins. Hopefully no more Sarah Jane tie-ins or K9. Return of the Doctor's Daughter for a half season, ending in her either dying or being an Eve to a new race of Time Lords.

More on the Time War. Possibly flashbacks. Maybe a Doctor-with-PTSD story arc. Maybe a story of the death of Romana, with another Dawkins cameo.

More than one full-time companion, at least one of whom is male. Possible romantic tension between these two companions. Doctor gets jealous and lashes out.

Near destruction of the TARDIS, reborn with the sacrifice of a companion, whose personality will continue to express itself through the ship.

This is fun, but, dammit, I have to get to work.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:05 AM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

Man, I just got rickrolled into reading the fucking 9/11 thread again.
posted by dirtdirt at 7:12 AM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

a, not the.
posted by dirtdirt at 7:12 AM on August 14, 2008

I've seen exactly one episode of the new series. Scared the shit outta me though.

You watched the correct episode.
posted by Artw at 8:41 AM on August 14, 2008

I predict the 2009 Doctor Who specials will include:
* Over-use of the sonic screwdriver.
* Over loud music.
* A speech on how wonderful and/or terrible humans are, and/or a speech on how wonderful and/or terrible the doctor is.
* Endings primarily revolving around lots of handwaving and colourful lights.
posted by Artw at 8:44 AM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

I had watched maybe half an episode of Doctor Who until about a month ago. Then a friend who's a huge Doctor Who fan introduced me to the Christopher Eccleston series and I watched nearly all of it. Now I'm hooked (and missing Christopher Eccleston). The two-parter set during the Blitz is among the best pieces of TV science fiction I've seen.
posted by Kattullus at 8:59 AM on August 14, 2008

That would be Steven Moffat again. Good times ahead!
posted by Artw at 9:13 AM on August 14, 2008

Moffat is actually taking over the show from RTD after next year's set of specials.

I predict this will not make every episode as awesome as Moffat's episodes so far.
posted by smackfu at 9:31 AM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

I predict:

• A mid-series 5 companion replacement when the Doctor's (and Producer's) daughter gets bored after her Spooks spin-off is canceled.
• The Doctor goes on trial when he is caught by the Shadow Proclaimation
• Return of the Weeping Angels
• Another cryptic appearance by River Song, this time it's the first time she meets the Doctor, but they're separated again after a brief flirtation
• Return to Planet Midnight
• S5 finale is the return of Donna, involving the guy she was with on the Library Planet fighting the Vashta Nerada
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:32 AM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

I’d b happy with the Doctor never mentioning Rose ever again and the non-return of the Daleks.
posted by Artw at 9:46 AM on August 14, 2008

Return of the Weeping Angels

I really, really hope not. "Blink" would be very hard to improve upon (especially since the mystery would be blown in a reprise), and I have a feeling Moffat's smart enough to know it.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:59 AM on August 14, 2008

TBH I think the Ultimate-Fanservice-Mashup finale pretty much used up Doctor Whos supply of “return of” goodwill for the next 5 years. Do some new stuff!
posted by Artw at 10:19 AM on August 14, 2008

I’d b happy with the Doctor never mentioning Rose ever again

Well, they can just put her in an alternate universe from which she can never come back. That'll work, right?
posted by smackfu at 10:45 AM on August 14, 2008 [1 favorite]

“Oh, Marsha, that was your name wasn’t it? I was just moping. Let me tell you again about how wonderful Rose was…”
posted by Artw at 10:57 AM on August 14, 2008

I predict:

It will continue to be ridiculously fun to imitate a Dalek voice, even when in the company of people who are not familiar with Doctor Who and/or when alone. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go water my garden.

GERMINATE. GERMINATE.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 10:58 AM on August 14, 2008 [8 favorites]

“White wee-wee!”
posted by Artw at 11:07 AM on August 14, 2008

kittens for breakfast: I really, really hope not.

I also hope not. But I think they'll slip it into a more typical Who plot for a filler episode (like the ood, slitheen, cat people, christmas robots, etc.) They're too good/inexpensive/novel/scary/clever/fun as adversaries to keep out of future shows. Same with the Midnight monster.

And Solon and Thanks just made my day.
posted by cowbellemoo at 12:11 PM on August 14, 2008

I have to say, the current incarnation played by David Tennant has been surprisingly entertaining. About the only serious criticism I have is that he yells everything and speaks entirely too quickly...often at the same time.

In my sad neck of the woods, we were Doctor-less after the local PBS stations exhausted the Tom Baker series. This will be taken as heresy, but I was never very fond of Baker's Doctor. There was something quietly creepy about the guy.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:42 PM on August 14, 2008

There was something quietly creepy about the guy.

I'm working through the Bakers, and I'm getting tired of how contemptuous he is of everyone. He's even yelling at allies he picks up. And poor Lela and K-9. Crankyness. Barked orders. Never-ending verbal abuse. Sure he gets the job done, but christ what an asshole. When a smile does light up his face, however, I love him lots.

I love Tenant because he's always hugging people. Like that one in the New Earth hospital...everything's okay because he took a bath in medicine and started hugging lonely plague victims. He's just so loving!
posted by cowbellemoo at 3:35 PM on August 14, 2008

It won't be any good until they finally make an American version starring someone with an American accent. He will nail his companions on a regular basis, and he'll carry a gun and he'll fucking shoot aliens, not save them...

Oh, wait, I just described Torchwood didn't I?
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:39 PM on August 14, 2008

You also just described a John Ringo book!

I watch Torchwood for all the times Jack's had to be found and frozen by Victorian Torchwood. And to leer at Owen's freakishly wide mouth. And Gwen's adorable/hideous tooth gap.
posted by cowbellemoo at 8:34 PM on August 14, 2008

My theory is that Torchwood is some freakish experiment in making a show unslashable by pre-slashing it.
posted by Artw at 9:00 PM on August 14, 2008 [3 favorites]

Their experiment failed, then.
posted by jacalata at 9:36 PM on August 14, 2008

Dalek Caan died for your sins.
posted by homunculus at 9:50 PM on August 14, 2008

So he's psychic, but can only predict the plotlines of nerd shows?
posted by electroboy at 7:08 AM on August 15, 2008

Isn't every tv show nerdy these days?
posted by feelinglistless at 9:42 AM on August 15, 2008

Isn't every tv show nerdy these days?

Every one. Except Gossip Girl.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:33 PM on August 15, 2008

My god. I had almost forgotten about the existence of slash. Thanks, guys, for helping to bring my view of the internet squarely back around to reality.

Now, if you need me, I'll be reading about a certain midnight encounter involving a ball-gag and a certain scarf...
posted by kaibutsu at 5:26 PM on August 15, 2008

I just hope the "midnight encounter" doesn't involve the episode Midnight. I'd say you can't slash a shadowy mysterious non-life-form entity that steals people's voices by repeating their words, but I've been proven wrong before and maybe it'd be pretty sexy. There'd even be a canon use for the ball-gag.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:54 PM on August 15, 2008

Oh, and:
Isn't every tv show nerdy these days?

Every one. Except Gossip Girl.

Actually, Gossip Girl is narrated by Kirsten Bell (Geek it-girl from Veronica Mars and Heros), who plays a blogger. So, yes, every show.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:56 PM on August 15, 2008

Wired also ran an article about Gossip Girl. When a snail like Wired gets around to something, you can be sure it's firmly in the nerd column.
posted by cowbellemoo at 7:46 PM on August 15, 2008

Return of the Rani.

You saw it here first, folks.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:12 AM on August 19, 2008