Flak from Requesting Spoiler Warnings

January 21, 2002 4:59 AM

Make a simple suggestion and not get flak? No way." (more inside)
posted by cyniczny to Etiquette/Policy at 4:59 AM (8 comments total)

Just to clarify, I simply pointed out a fact (not everyone having seen the show yet due to time zones) and suggested that a spoiler warning might be nice. No talk of "don't you dare discuss this" or anything remotely similar. My post was not sarcastic, not mean, not impeding anyone from continuing. It was merely a friendly reminder about being polite to others. Kinda like waiting for everyone to be served their meal before you dig in. MeFi doesn't need to stop and wait for the world to catch up, but a nice, "hey, we've started dinner without you" heads-up isn't too much to ask for in my opinion.

So what, exactly, was wrong with my suggestion to garner the seemingly sarcastic responses? Was a reply even necessary from anyone? Not in my opinion. It was something to take on board – keep it in mind when posting or just disregard.

BTW, I’m not “hauling” insomnyuk or cx into MeTa, but simply using their comments as examples, so no offence to them. I have more of an overall curiosity as to why people feel the need to be defensive and/or assume that people’s comments or suggestions are negative. Sometimes, a duck is just a duck.

posted by cyniczny at 5:02 AM on January 21, 2002

The words "thin skinned" come immediately to mind.
posted by y6y6y6 at 6:31 AM on January 21, 2002

I did not intend to be sarcastic. This would be a matter of perception, in my opinion, because you cannot hear my voice, you read my words and interpret accordingly.
posted by insomnyuk at 7:24 AM on January 21, 2002

cyniczny, one of the great things about mefi is that most everybody feels okay about stating their opinion. It's all out in the open. Sometimes, of course, they don't think about whether or not they are hurting someone else's feelings, and for that, you have to take the medium into consideration. People hopefully wouldn't be as tactless/brutal if they were face to face. But as a general rule, there aren't any truly mean people who are just out to cause pain. So if someone says something that offends you, try to take it with a grain of salt, and, if possible, try to see it as another opinion, or as advice.

woof!
posted by kv at 7:28 AM on January 21, 2002

I don't know, I checked metafilter early that evening, before the globes really got started and thought the same thing. I was just about to turn it on and let it run in the background, and here were basically the final results showing. It was a tiny letdown.

It's a stupid awards show, and it's entirely pointless, but I was surprised someone didn't say "spoiler warning" first, as people seem to have done in the past.

I read insomnyuk's sentence about america as sarcastic, and I could understand cyniczny's point. I'm not saying there should be a spoiler rule one way or the other, but it helps when the person posting is mindful of timezones and reacts accordingly (either by posting later or hiding the end result).

BTW, why do the networks even tape delay it? I seem to remember ten years ago, I'd watch awards shows live, in the late afternoons around 5. Wait, I know, it's for the prime time commercial spots.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 10:36 AM on January 21, 2002

I was not trying to be sarcastic, merely self-deprecating and self-critical. If I said that I thought the world revolved around Eastern Standard Time, I guess it would sound really sarcastic...even if I didn't mean it to be.

Apologies to everyone I spoiled it for. Let this be a lesson to anyone that posts the Oscar results, or any other TV show for that matter..(i.e. Survivor, etc.). I guess this is a point of ettiquette that I had not considered.
posted by insomnyuk at 11:15 AM on January 21, 2002

Cyniczny -- Doesn't look to me like they were behaving badly in their response to you. It always seems worse when the comments are addressed to you, though..

Anyway, I think your suggestion was very appropriate. It's just common courtesy not to give away the ending to something--a book, a game, a movie, an award show-- that you've seen and someone else hasn't. I was actually quite surprised that the thread was posted in the first place, then mildly surprised that it wasn't deleted. Information wants to be free, but I think it can wait three hours.
posted by Hildago at 12:20 PM on January 21, 2002

I'd just like to clarify one last thing, as I think people are getting the wrong impression. I simply read the thread and thought, "gee, I don't think these folks know that it hasn't been shown everywhere yet, so I'll be really helpful and let them know and remind them about spoiler warnings."

I wasn't offended at the comments in any way. I neither cared about, nor watched, the show. My post, and this subsequent thread, aren't personal to or about me. The only reason I brought this up is that I was curious as to why people tend to jump right in and make 'seemingly' sarcastic responses to stuff and was trying to garner impressions based on that example. There's been a lot of talk lately about people being 'mean' on MeFi and so my queries are directed towards an overall question of the community members' behaviours. Guess using a personal example made it appear that I was whinging about my little ego and information flow. Sorry about that, it wasn't my intention to do anything other than ponder etiquette.
posted by cyniczny at 12:47 PM on January 21, 2002