Deskology

December 9, 2008 10:59 PM

An offhand comment by Pastabagel leads to the creation and explosive growth of an entirely new field of studies: Deskology, a song and a poem.

The Importance of Desks in American Culture

Pastabagel's critique

A critique of Swift's The Importance of Desks in American Culture

Toward Redefining the American Desk: A Critical Response to strangeleftydoublethink's Critique of Swift's The Importance of Desks in American Culture

A Marxist Critique of Swift's The Importance of Desks in American Culture

History is on the march

The Desk: An Epistemelogical Journey through the Construction of Culture

Immortality and the surface of being: an existential look into The Desk

An Annotated Bibliography of Twenty-First Century Deskology

The Situational Construction of Desks: Socio-Cognitive Framework

Desk Poetry

"Beyond the Bottom Drawer: And Examination of the Racial Geometris of the Desk in White Collar America".

From "Why Is A Raven?": A Canon of Desks By Harold Bloom

A Dominionist, Christian Nationalist Critique of "The Importance of Desks in American Culture"

The Importance of Desks in American Culture, Second Edition

The Importance of Desks in American Culture, Second Edition: A Rebuttal

American Desk Song

Invisible Chairs: A Radical Chairist View of Deskology

The Failure of Narrative: Desks and dialectic predeconstructivist theory

posted by nooneyouknow to MetaFilter-Related at 10:59 PM (77 comments total)

Hey Metafilter? Thanks.

Just for being there.
posted by roll truck roll at 11:03 PM on December 9, 2008

I liked Deskology better when it was called Scientology.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:38 PM on December 9, 2008

What if I went North? Would you come after me? Hunt me?

No, no I wouldn't. I owe you one.

Wait, no, that's Deckardology
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 12:04 AM on December 10, 2008 [3 favorites]

Blah, could this be any more furniturezone.
posted by allen.spaulding at 12:12 AM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

El escritorio es del que lo trabaja!
[ img src = "cheguevara.jpg" alt = "viva la revolucion" /]
posted by dirty lies at 12:43 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

In my time desks were called "working tables", and that's how I like it.
posted by qvantamon at 1:07 AM on December 10, 2008

Baudrillard on Desks:

There will not be a desk.
There is not a desk.
There was not a desk.

Desks are hyperreal/simulacra.
posted by foodmapper at 1:42 AM on December 10, 2008

in my time, we used to tie an onion to our desk. because that was the style at the time.
posted by msconduct at 2:36 AM on December 10, 2008 [3 favorites]

So, since I no longer have a desk at home or at work does that mean I've finally transcended the Patriarchal white male privilege and extracted myself from the desk-centric machinations of Western cultural imperialism?

HALLELUJAH! FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M FREE AT LAST!

And broke as fuck. Whoops.

*holds up a small cardboard sign that says "will work for booze"*
posted by loquacious at 4:23 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

A Meta-Analysis Of Desk Studies From 2008 To The Present Day
posted by DU at 4:25 AM on December 10, 2008 [4 favorites]

So great. I love metafilter.
posted by rtha at 5:50 AM on December 10, 2008

fucking chairists.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:51 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Did you all stay up late planning this on IRC? The whole thing smells a little prefabricated.
posted by anotherpanacea at 5:51 AM on December 10, 2008

What we need is an interdisciplinary study of the relationship of portobello mushrooms, a plate of beans, and desks.
posted by needled at 6:11 AM on December 10, 2008

This is the funniest thing that Jimmy Fallon has ever been associated with.
posted by Eideteker at 6:27 AM on December 10, 2008 [25 favorites]

I totally missed Pastabagel's comment originally. The hilariousness of this is just fantastic.
posted by cashman at 6:49 AM on December 10, 2008

In conclusion a desk is a furniture of many contrasts.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:49 AM on December 10, 2008

This survey fails to account for the rise of the robots triggered by the popularity of Autodesk.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:54 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Also it clearly leaves out the new information gained by the Florida Anomalistically Researched Teakeological Studies lab in their indeterminate-informational random retrieval experiments on Quantum Study Drawers.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:06 AM on December 10, 2008

This has to end in someone actually trying to get a publication in American Furniture. Luke Beckerdite edits it. Piece in the current edition: Philadelphia Pier Tables and Their Role in Cultures of Sociability and Competition - Nicholas C. Vincent.
posted by cashman at 7:27 AM on December 10, 2008

Mefi love.
posted by ersatz at 7:48 AM on December 10, 2008

*holds up a small cardboard sign that says "will work for booze"*
posted by loquacious at 4:23 AM on December 10

Dude, try this.

(offers loquacious a sign that says "will work for desks")
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:58 AM on December 10, 2008

This is the best thing I have seen in a while.
posted by grouse at 8:04 AM on December 10, 2008

The.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:25 AM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

Yeah, watching this happen last night was really fun. This kind of spontaneity and dry wit is what I really love about MetaFilter and the crazy, crazy people who live here. I love the way stickycheese drops a comment in this morning (my time) that is actually about Jimmy Fallon and late night TV, and is immediately accused of hijacking the thread (all in good fun, of course). swift's "second edition" is also priceless. GG everyone.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:38 AM on December 10, 2008

Astro Zombie: The.

previously.
posted by Pronoiac at 8:45 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Desks are the new the.
posted by ormondsacker at 8:45 AM on December 10, 2008

[NOT DESK-IST]
posted by chugg at 8:46 AM on December 10, 2008

Desk 2.0 = Lap (or in some cases in our household, Cat).

Free yourself from the enslavement of the desk! Get a laptop! Ruin your back!

loquacious - you know we'll give you booze for free
posted by gingerbeer at 8:53 AM on December 10, 2008

When I hear the word "desk" I reach for my revolving chair.
posted by moonmilk at 9:08 AM on December 10, 2008 [6 favorites]

Good going, nooneyouknow, your little tip has caused a flood of off topic desk-themed comments to appear in that post. How are we supposed to discuss Jimmy Fallon in the manner he deserves now?
posted by cimbrog at 9:10 AM on December 10, 2008

lulzescritoire
posted by netbros at 9:17 AM on December 10, 2008

Jimmy Fallon is being discussed in the manner he deserves.
posted by ardgedee at 9:38 AM on December 10, 2008

I hate my desk.
posted by rand at 10:04 AM on December 10, 2008

ChairZone!
posted by Pollomacho at 10:19 AM on December 10, 2008

My desk is a table.
posted by Caduceus at 10:33 AM on December 10, 2008

I love all you smart and funny people. You are awesome.
posted by brain_drain at 10:45 AM on December 10, 2008

Deskology is complicated. I think I need to rest for a moment on my tibble-tabble.
posted by Metroid Baby at 10:52 AM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Proves why lurking on MeFi is often far more fun than weighing in.

God love ya, Metafilter. To think the crap I could have spent that $5 on.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 10:55 AM on December 10, 2008

The Desks of MetaFilter
posted by carsonb at 11:37 AM on December 10, 2008

I'm eating my head.
posted by An Infinity Of Monkeys at 11:56 AM on December 10, 2008

There's a desk in my pants.
posted by grouse at 12:05 PM on December 10, 2008

Desks are OK, but for fist-pounding you really need a good lectern, according to Voltaire anyway.
posted by Mister_A at 12:16 PM on December 10, 2008

oh.my.god. you know who the best drop in ever would be?
posted by gman at 12:26 PM on December 10, 2008

There's a desk in my pants.

There was one in mine too, but now I can't find either!
posted by Pollomacho at 12:31 PM on December 10, 2008

Fantastic. I love Metafilter.
posted by tickingclock at 12:33 PM on December 10, 2008

oh.my.god. you know who the best drop in ever would be?

Jimmy Fallon?
posted by Rock Steady at 12:57 PM on December 10, 2008

I don't use a desk anymore, personally.
posted by swift at 1:04 PM on December 10, 2008

I don't use a desk anymore, personally.

The father of modern Deskology is repudiating the very field that he created?
posted by dersins at 1:24 PM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

An ottoman is my desk.
posted by Bookhouse at 1:25 PM on December 10, 2008

Home is where you set your scotch.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:43 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Sweet! I live in the park!
posted by Mister_A at 1:47 PM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

A company I work with on occasion created this video for a client of theirs. It's about desks. (warning: flashiness)
posted by macadamiaranch at 2:02 PM on December 10, 2008

Right now I'm having a hard time thinking of anything with a higher Amusement ROI than MetaFilter. $5 rarely buys this much awesome.
posted by lekvar at 2:18 PM on December 10, 2008

The father of modern Deskology is repudiating the very field that he created?

No, it's just that my platform is more post-desk.
posted by swift at 2:21 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

No, it's just that my platform is more post-desk.

what's next, deskological relativism ?!?
posted by needled at 2:31 PM on December 10, 2008

You guys can keep looking busy at your Desks. I'll be busy immanentizing the Etchasketchaton.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:34 PM on December 10, 2008 [6 favorites]

No, it's just that my platform is more post-desk.

I anticipated that response. (By almost an hour...)
posted by dersins at 2:34 PM on December 10, 2008

what's next, deskological relativism ?!?

Deskconstructionism.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:43 PM on December 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

This whole world is my church desk.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:34 PM on December 10, 2008

burn the deskriptivist!
posted by qvantamon at 3:58 PM on December 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Fuck you and the desk you rode in on.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 4:03 PM on December 10, 2008

Awesome. Thanks for these.
posted by Tehanu at 4:06 PM on December 10, 2008

I'm just grateful for the chance to finally tell the world the truth about HERRIGAN.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:31 PM on December 10, 2008

Someone needs to do Plato's Theory of Desk Forms.
posted by Tehanu at 4:44 PM on December 10, 2008

まはごに— ですか?
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:17 PM on December 10, 2008

I thought that thread was pretty awful and was preparing to flag it as hard as I could (a la the Mooninites) but the desk derails were wonderful. Thank you, Metafilter.
posted by jtron at 5:22 PM on December 10, 2008

These were all great, but I could not favorite dmd enough.

(ex-neuroscientist)
posted by nev at 6:15 PM on December 10, 2008

As a fan of Christopher Livingston's work, I prefer notmydeskology.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:53 PM on December 10, 2008

Is this the thread with the free lobster?

Wait, what day is today?

Sorry, I'm looking for the holiday buffet served to benefit the Foundation of the Preservation of the 100 Most Important Desks in History, which is a non-profit that finds the most deserving desk preservation organizations and donates accordingly, for a small fee.

As I said, lobster.

We're all going to blog about it later, so make sure to read all about it on the DeskWell blog!
posted by krinklyfig at 8:59 PM on December 10, 2008

Home is where you set your scotch.

The bathroom sink?
posted by krinklyfig at 9:05 PM on December 10, 2008

Deskconstructionism

Ikea, I believe, is the thought leader in this area.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:29 PM on December 10, 2008

I can't believe the Deskartesian philosophy of dualism hasn't been brought up yet!
I sit, therefore I am.
posted by NikitaNikita at 10:35 PM on December 10, 2008

Indeed, never used baby shoes, I do suddenly feel an urge to go to Ikea.
posted by IndigoRain at 12:07 AM on December 11, 2008

I have 2 desks - neither has a chair, both are Ikea like my "Coffee Table" (which functions as my 'true' 'deskic' surface) and this Metathread has been worth my $5 and potentially the 'what and bother' of the entire internet.
posted by evil_esto at 1:37 AM on December 11, 2008

Damn, that's brilliant. I don't care about Jimmy Fallon, so thanks for posting this, nooneyouknow, or I'd have missed it.
posted by homunculus at 1:44 PM on December 11, 2008

If anything, that thread has taught me the proper MLA citation¹ for a Metafilter comment. My life is complete.


_{1. dmd: MetaFilter 77275: Late Night with The Roots. pp2371259, 2008.}
posted by flatluigi at 2:43 PM on December 21, 2008