New Year's resolutions for MetaFilter December 31, 2008 6:57 AM   Subscribe

What are your New Year's resolutions for MetaFilter? As in, I resolve to attend more meetups in Iceland without making gender-based assumptions about the other attendees.

Oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR (belated, for you Australians/Japanese etc)
posted by desjardins to MetaFilter-Related at 6:57 AM (192 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

I resolve to give out 110 more favorites and then withhold my 666th until some devil-worshipping MeFite gets down on their lousy stinking knees and begs me for it.
posted by yhbc at 7:01 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Actually, I haven't attended a meetup anywhere, let alone Iceland, so my resolution is to attend a meetup, period.
posted by desjardins at 7:06 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I resolve to make 110 more brilliant remarks, which yhbc will undoubtedly favorite, and then quit MetaFilter forever, leaving him short of his goal, until someone gets down on their lousy stinking knees and begs me to come back.
posted by ColdChef at 7:07 AM on December 31, 2008


Make cortex cry.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:13 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to get down on my lousy stinking knees and beg ColdChef to come back.
posted by allkindsoftime at 7:13 AM on December 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


Less deletions than last year.
posted by gman at 7:13 AM on December 31, 2008


No more killing sprees.
posted by jonmc at 7:17 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I would like to resolve to go ahead and post everything I type into the comment box, instead of incessantly worrying about getting called out or piled upon, and Ctrl-Xing out my proto-comments without so much as a preview. For example, I had several interesting thoughts about the Iceland meetup thread, but they all involved singing "Goodbye Horses."
posted by steef at 7:17 AM on December 31, 2008


As the devil-worshipping mefite I am, I resolve...

to never write a joke like this again.
posted by Dumsnill at 7:18 AM on December 31, 2008


jonmc - No more Metafilter killing sprees? or none period?
posted by gman at 7:22 AM on December 31, 2008


My resolution is, in all things, to be less ...
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:22 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


... hesitant.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 7:23 AM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


one thing at a time, gman.
posted by jonmc at 7:24 AM on December 31, 2008


desjardins: Actually, I haven't attended a meetup anywhere, let alone Iceland, so my resolution is to attend a meetup, period.

Weren't you at the Cambridge meet-up earlier this year, after ROFLCON? I could've sworn...

As for me, I don't really do resolutions... don't really know what I would resolve... I dunno, try to win at MetaFilter bingo? But that's not so much a resolution as a crowning-achievement-of-life kinda deal.
posted by Kattullus at 7:28 AM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'm going to resolve to get another New Haven meetup. Hey, guys, can we try having the earliest morning meetup on record? I mean, 10 am is fine and all, but there are, I've heard, earlier hours in the morning.
posted by cobaltnine at 7:32 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I resolve to attend a meetup. I resolve to craft more articulate, interesting posts than I have thus far. I resolve to fight a bear live for your entertainment.

This is hard.
posted by Bageena at 7:34 AM on December 31, 2008


1. Check my favorite count less often.

2. Use the "Metafilter: [excerpt of previous comment]" meme only when absolutely necessary.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:35 AM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


Win the December greatest post ever contest.
posted by ND¢ at 7:45 AM on December 31, 2008


Weren't you at the Cambridge meet-up earlier this year, after ROFLCON? I could've sworn...

Um, nope, but people often confuse my username with desuetude or dersins, both of whom I believe are male (but who the hell knows about that anymore).

Use the "Metafilter: [excerpt of previous comment]" meme only when absolutely necessary.

It's never necessary, and only rarely witty.
posted by desjardins at 7:45 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to more often earnestly type out what is in my head for a comment instead of using snarky shorthand.
posted by cimbrog at 7:46 AM on December 31, 2008


goddamnit! desuetude is female! And dersins is... flexible?

I just don't know anymore......
posted by desjardins at 7:50 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve that MetaFilter will appreciate me more and finally give me the recognition I deserve.
posted by DU at 7:50 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'd like to try to stay more on topic and create fewer of comments that are really nothing more than something I've just netted out of my stream of consciousness, but...

oh look, a big shiny...

spaceship that landed, and the alien that came out said to me, "So how is that vow to kill less people coming along?" And just like that, there was blood everywhere and I knew I was going to have to start my resolution all over again... unless... wait, do aliens count as 'people'? because that might be a loophole I can make work.
posted by quin at 7:50 AM on December 31, 2008


Metafilter: it's never necessary, and only rarely witty.
posted by motty at 7:50 AM on December 31, 2008 [23 favorites]


Less deletions than last year.

I also resolve to make fewer corrections to people's grammar.
posted by DU at 7:51 AM on December 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


I resolve to stop posting in the blue so goddamn often. You just can't get me out of there!
posted by amicamentis at 7:52 AM on December 31, 2008


Weren't you at the Cambridge meet-up earlier this year, after ROFLCON? I could've sworn...

That was desuetude. I have the same problem with some MeFite names.

I want to make 2009 the year MeFi gets an awesome Search function and a terrific 10th Anniversary party, to the best of my ability. Other than that, I just want cortex not to quit, vacapinta to stay healthy, pb to get smarter and smarter (as he does) and mathowie not to fire us all and replace us with outsourced Middle Eastern 12 year olds.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:53 AM on December 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


I just don't know anymore......

It's ok, medical science can help you decide.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:54 AM on December 31, 2008


Post my 100th answer to AskMe.

What? No one ever said new year's resolutions had to be difficult. Posting my 100th useful answer to AskMe might take a bit longer...
posted by Nice Guy Mike at 7:55 AM on December 31, 2008


Metafiter: Never necessary, and only rarely witty
posted by lukemeister at 7:56 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to take a shit in 2009.
posted by sciurus at 7:57 AM on December 31, 2008


Metafilter: I should read the whole thread before making the same lame joke
posted by lukemeister at 7:57 AM on December 31, 2008 [11 favorites]


Get another hug from cortex.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:00 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to get more best answers in questions involving cannibalism.

Oh, and attend more meetups.
posted by bondcliff at 8:06 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to make my first FPP, and have it not be crap. Also, maybe attend a meetup.
posted by marginaliana at 8:09 AM on December 31, 2008


jessamyn: That was desuetude. I have the same problem with some MeFite names.

Oh yeah, that's in fact what happened in my brain.
posted by Kattullus at 8:13 AM on December 31, 2008


Just in case you run out of ideas.
posted by netbros at 8:15 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve for x, again.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:17 AM on December 31, 2008


I think mine is to help Miko's seed exchange project.
posted by Stewriffic at 8:18 AM on December 31, 2008


Try and be less of a cunt this year.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:25 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Try and be less of a cunt this year.

Even in MetaTalk?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:26 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to figure out why people pick up their dog's poop in a little plastic bag and then leave the poop in the bag on the ground in odd places in the neighborhood where I work. I am completely baffled by this. Why do half the job? Why not just leave the shit where it falls? It's crazy, there are new little poop bags every day, multiple poop bags, just little sandwich bags of shit dotting the landscape. This morning there was one tucked into the corner of the stairs by my loading dock, a person would have to go out of their way to place it there. I'm coming for you shitleaver and when I find you there will be a terrible reckoning.

This has nothing to do with Metafilter, but I assume that the sense of satisfaction I will derive from solving this mystery will make me a better mefite.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:26 AM on December 31, 2008 [12 favorites]


Is Iceland available at low, low prices? If so, Matt should buy it so we can hold a meetup/rave that never ends.

I, for one, salute our new geothermally powered overlords.
posted by lukemeister at 8:29 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


With respect to here, I hope to contribute more often while being more patient with others.

As to my day to day life, my hope is to get back to being a swinger of birches.
posted by dios at 8:31 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve that MetaFilter will appreciate me more and finally give me the recognition I deserve.

You have more than 7500 favorites.
posted by jamjam at 8:33 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to cry and hug never used baby shoes and not quit my job more and also hi dios.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:35 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I resolve to finally attend a Boston meetup.
posted by Miko at 8:39 AM on December 31, 2008


Why do half the job? Why not just leave the shit where it falls?

Because they don't want to carry a steaming bag of dogshit throughout the rest of their walk, and they can't find a garbage can.
posted by desjardins at 8:39 AM on December 31, 2008


Acquire more funny stories to tell, help more people in AskMe get laid from online dating, and occasionally make a cool friend on the Internets. Hopefully, not so many puns. NO FLAME WARS.

Move somewhere IRL that doesn't spawn every one of my own AskMes; that said, I have learned some really cool things. Y'all are handy people, so thank you!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:40 AM on December 31, 2008


Because they don't want to carry a steaming bag of dogshit throughout the rest of their walk, and they can't find a garbage can.

Back in high school, I would occasionally whip the bag of dog crap, sling like, over the fence into my school's tertiary baseball diamond. There is no justice like teenage rebel dogpoop justice, truly.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:44 AM on December 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


Because they don't want to carry a steaming bag of dogshit throughout the rest of their walk, and they can't find a garbage can.

So don't put it in the bag in the first place.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:44 AM on December 31, 2008


I plan to barrage Ask with tons of new parenting and life questions as the Mrs. and I are, as they say, expecting.
posted by cavalier at 8:45 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to figure out why people pick up their dog's poop in a little plastic bag and then leave the poop in the bag on the ground in odd places in the neighborhood where I work.

Sometimes b/c the dog poops right outside, not near a garbage can, so they put it by the entrance (but not right in front of the entrance because that would be gross) so they can get it later when they leave again.
posted by inigo2 at 8:45 AM on December 31, 2008


I'm not going to completely give away my plans for the new year, but there may be a lot more Astro Zombies on MetaFilter.

A LOT.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:47 AM on December 31, 2008 [5 favorites]


Sometimes b/c the dog poops right outside, not near a garbage can, so they put it by the entrance (but not right in front of the entrance because that would be gross) so they can get it later when they leave again.

I have thought about all of these scenarios and my conclusion is still that this is the work of a person or persons who are bugfuck dingdong loco.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:50 AM on December 31, 2008


I think my problem with resolutions is that once I'd get started I'd never stop. I'd start simple, something like: "I resolve to try being a vegetarian again, instead of a fish-eating heathen." And then I'd think: "That's not so hard, is it, let me throw in another resolution or two. I resolve to call my parents more often. And I resolve to play with the two cats I live with more often. Oh hey! This is easy peasy! Okay, I resolve to build something this year, maybe a birdhouse, maybe a treefort... oh, I know! A nuclear weapons satellite! I totally saw some blueprints for that on the internet! Yeah!" And then, before you know, I'd be raining Armageddon down upon the Earth, cackling madly.

That's why I don't do resolutions. Having me do resolutions would be like giving cows opposable thumbs, we'd all be doomed.
posted by Kattullus at 8:54 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I just always thought there was a dog that ate a bag full of dog shit and then shit a bag full of dog shit for Divine_Wino to find.
posted by Sailormom at 8:54 AM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I want to make 2009 the year MeFi gets an awesome Search function and a terrific 10th Anniversary party, to the best of my ability.

There's a fiesta in the making as we speak. I'm not at liberty to say anything more at this time, but be assured: there will be one hell of a 10th Anniversary party. In an undisclosed location in the soggy South. I've said too much already. Be Prepared!
posted by ColdChef at 8:55 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I just always thought there was a dog that ate a bag full of dog shit and then shit a bag full of dog shit for Divine_Wino to find.

This is an interesting avenue to explore.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:56 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Unicorn on the cob: Hopefully, not so many puns.

But every time you make a post or a comment, a pun is made, Unicorn on the cob.
posted by Kattullus at 8:57 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to come up with my second FPP. I figure if I set the bar low, I'll wait to craft one until I find something else worth posting.
posted by lleachie at 8:58 AM on December 31, 2008


2009 will be the year I make good on all those death threats. If you leave me a nice gift I'll make it less painful.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:58 AM on December 31, 2008


I'm looking forward to lodging with ColdChef, I figure a bunch of us can sleep in showroom caskets stacked like bunk beds.
posted by hermitosis at 9:01 AM on December 31, 2008 [7 favorites]


To attend the Metafilter 10th anniversary party in an undisclosed but undoubtedly humid location in the South.
posted by gingerbeer at 9:04 AM on December 31, 2008


I also resolve to make my first FPP. But first, I have to work through my fear of rejection and failure, and that might take a while.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 9:04 AM on December 31, 2008


Sometimes b/c the dog poops right outside, not near a garbage can, so they put it by the entrance (but not right in front of the entrance because that would be gross) so they can get it later when they leave again.

I've seen people do that, but I think it's also often the same kind of logical blindspot that means at least one person in every office I've ever worked somehow doesn't understand that the clearly one-piece non-permeable drip catching mechanism underneath the water cooler spout is not, in fact, a drain.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 9:07 AM on December 31, 2008


cortex: Hold off on that hug until a minute after midnight, and we can both start the New Year off right.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:08 AM on December 31, 2008


is not, in fact, a drain.

Yes! Who puts soup in there?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:09 AM on December 31, 2008


I've found that if you put the dog itself in a plastic bag, the whole issue of disposing with messes quickly sorts itself out.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:11 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I also resolve to make my first FPP. But first, I have to work through my fear of rejection and failure, and that might take a while.

You haven't made an FPP yet? Get out of here, you failure!

(hope this helps)
posted by DU at 9:14 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


To stand firmly on principle.
posted by Britney's Nipples at 9:19 AM on December 31, 2008


Katullus: too true, too true. But what's a girl to do? I'm southern and magical. It just seemed right at the time.



Britney's Nipples: To stand firmly on principle.

eponysterical... sorry to drag out another old meme
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:26 AM on December 31, 2008


Yes! Who puts soup in there?

I don't know but I dread when it's anything solid because I'm easily grossed out by semi-rotten food and I'm the Person Who In The Office Who Cleans Up the Fake Water Drain.

It's not super pleasant but it's better than being The Person Who Changes the Toner. I realized early on learning how to change the toner only means that you have to change the toner, so I settled on my office-community contribution as the one who deals with the water bottle drain.

Better than being the Refrigerator Cop.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 9:29 AM on December 31, 2008


It took me 3 years to get over my fear sadiehawkinstein, but I made 3 FPP's this year and they all went over pretty well... the one that generated the least comments ended up getting a brief mention on a recent Mefi Podcast. Take the leap! I believe in you!
posted by Bageena at 9:36 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to get an autographed copy of Matt's upcoming autobiography A Million Little Ponies. Also, to stop pouring all of my soup down the one-piece non-permeable drip catching mechanism underneath the water cooler spout.
posted by Bageena at 9:40 AM on December 31, 2008


Wait, there's an inappropriate place I could be pouring soup? I resolve to start doing that.
posted by DU at 9:51 AM on December 31, 2008


I've already gotten a dozen emails. Don't you people understand the concept of "TOP SECRET 10TH ANNIVERSARY METAFILTER MEETUP PLANS"? I've sworn an oath! I cannot reveal more. Even though I want to. I desperately, desperately want to!
posted by ColdChef at 9:55 AM on December 31, 2008


Hi Kattullus! Hi, jessamyn! I'm a dork 'cause I'm all squee that you peoples remember me. Or in Kattullus's case, remember "me."

My resolution is to find out who keeps letting their dog poop in front of my house.

And to log fewer Metahours and more workhours at work. Ooops. Starting in Jan.
posted by desuetude at 10:08 AM on December 31, 2008


I should probably also resolve to make more songs. Yeah, I should do that. Maybe I'll try that "record one song a week" thing again.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 10:14 AM on December 31, 2008


And dersins is... flexible?

I resolve to be considerably less flexible in 2009.
posted by dersins at 10:17 AM on December 31, 2008


I totally remember you, desuetude! My memory for names is terrible but my memory for occurrence is really good. I remember that meet-up pretty well.

Oh, and I'll help you with your goal Great Big Mulp. Anything you need, give me a shout.
posted by Kattullus at 10:24 AM on December 31, 2008


Oh crap... I just realized I did make a New Year's resolution... I just didn't think of it as a New Year's resolution... what have I done? What have I done?
posted by Kattullus at 10:28 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I resolve to have a happy childhood.
posted by Rumple at 10:31 AM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


To post and previw more carefuly and not be so hasty,
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:32 AM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


Don't you people understand the concept of "TOP SECRET 10TH ANNIVERSARY METAFILTER MEETUP PLANS"?

Nope. Don't understand at all. But I resolve to attend the anniversary meetup.
posted by rtha at 10:34 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to have a happy childhood.

It's never too late, you know.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:37 AM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


Let 2009 be the year that ColdChef's wife feels inferior because she has no imaginary internet friends! Make it so.
posted by Sailormom at 10:38 AM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I resolve to lurk less on Metafilter. And in real life.

Eponysterical, I know. But you have been warned.
posted by Urban Hermit at 10:41 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to not disappear for three years. Again. And to figure out all the new widgets and whatchamacallits. (Profile pict-ures???)
posted by JoanArkham at 10:47 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to meet Miko at a Boston meetup and worship at her feet.

And other things as well, but that's the only one that has to do with MetaFilter. Also, the one I'm least likely to break. Like I can remember to take pictures every day or do more yoga or actually learn Spanish... sheesh. I have a hard time remembering to take my meds and brush my teeth in the morning.

Wait, was I saying something?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:47 AM on December 31, 2008


They can outsource twelve year olds now? Jessamyn, I must have a contact. I have some friends who might want to fire their twelve year olds and replace them with cheaper and more interesting workers.

Hrm, hrm, MetaFilter resolutions.

1) That my mental writing voice move away from that of a jaded, aging drag queen who tries to use her eyebrow pencil to cursive out dismissive missives just as arch as the supraorbital ridges she drew on last night, but instead manages only the equivalent of an off-putting and creepy Jame Gumb makeover.

2) Whenever I slip up and do try to channel Dorothy Parker, but get Parker Posey instead, as I so often do, I resolve to stop staring blankly at the tip of my nose for a beat, like a confused collie, and just move on.

3) That I should, to general relief, LURK MOAR, read what people write, reply less, and probably expend my energies on making for myself a book, rather than making of myself a boor. Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.
posted by adipocere at 10:51 AM on December 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


My Metafilter resolutions....

1. Be less of a jerk. this was my 2008 resolution and I mostly kept it. Non-jerkiness is not a destination, though; it's a habit.

2. Make more quality FPPs. I had one decent one this year, and the responses made me all warm and fuzzy.

3. To always walk the walk with regard to my beliefs when answering AskMeFi questions.
posted by DWRoelands at 10:56 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to:
1. Focus on quantity, not quality in my MeFinteractions.
2. Wait until at least february before I start making comments about how lousy a president Obama is.
3. I will dangle participles.
4. I will no longer refer to any of you as "that poopy-head that said that thing on Metafilter"
5. More sockpuppets.
6. I will love, and live, harder.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:19 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to:

1. Clear all the games in the series.
2. Finish the screenplay.
3. Do something amazing for my family every day.
4. Clear all the games in the series.
5. Give more to charity; do more volunteer work.
6. Clear all the games in the series.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:24 AM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to discover the gender of my fellow mefites before crying myself to sleep over them.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:36 AM on December 31, 2008


By the way, Marisa, congratulations on becoming a MetaFilter meme. Not sure I envy you, though.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:44 AM on December 31, 2008


I didn't realize I personally became a meme, but thought a whole new Crying Game/gender roles meme was born, which certainly has promise.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:51 AM on December 31, 2008


1) Which series? and 2) I'm actually a cocker spaniel.
posted by cavalier at 11:59 AM on December 31, 2008


Luckily, I'm certain of the gender of my biggest MeFi crush, so there will be no crying myself to sleep for me.

So I guess I resolve to develop more MeFi crushes on people with ambiguously gendered screen names, so that I can cry myself to sleep over them.

(And I don't know what the problem for the rest of you was. I could tell MStPT was a guy.)

(But I guess that's because I've had a lot of online conversations with people about anime, and men and women treat anime pretty distinctly most of the time. So I could tell.)
posted by Caduceus at 12:03 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to stay lucky.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:23 PM on December 31, 2008


I shall try to breathe in and out regularly. Any more ambitious goal is just too challenging.
posted by Cranberry at 12:24 PM on December 31, 2008


I really need a Mefi crush, damnit.
posted by Bageena at 12:26 PM on December 31, 2008


Hi cortex.
posted by dios at 12:41 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Less typos
Less long-winded
Less tediously earnest
More fun
posted by nickyskye at 12:42 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to be more respectful of my fellow mefites' time and intelligence. Fewer hasty, poorly-thought-out comments and no disingenuousness in replies. More importantly, I resolve to favorite early and often with no concern to my favorite:favorited by others ratio.

Just to throw it out there, I'm studying abroad until May and I don't know how much internet access I'll have. I'm sending my love to everyone in case there's a zombie apocalypse before I'm back online - happy 2009, all!
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:53 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Fewer typos. gawsh.
posted by Rumple at 12:56 PM on December 31, 2008


As with Urban Hermit, to lurk less.
posted by Cassilda at 1:04 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to continue to not make an fpp, want to comment more but probably only comment in my mind, and I definitely resolve to attend the sooper seekrit 10th anniversary meetup bash (and maybe even a Philly meetup).
posted by zorrine at 1:04 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to allow myself more than three minutes to type a post, because even if the thread is hurtling along, if it's good people will read favourite it anyway.

(That said twice this year I've spent time formatting out some primo yr-thread-is-shit-you-are-shit snark only to find Cortex has gone and deleted the sodding thread by the time I've hit post.)
posted by bonaldi at 1:12 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I resolve to stop leaving poop in bags on the ground in odd places in the neighborhood where Divine_Wino works.

No, wait, who am I kidding? I can't give that up! The expression on his face the time he found the one tucked into the corner of the stairs by the loading dock was priceless. I guess I'll just try to be less grumpy.
posted by languagehat at 1:39 PM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I resolve to step up my gaslighting campaign by installing a remote power toggle on bonaldi's computer.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:40 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I vow to use every word in the LSSU banished word list in one relevant and coherent sentence.
posted by stavrogin at 1:56 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to keep Cortex employed. Which kinda cancels out my other resolution.
posted by gman at 2:00 PM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I resolve to try more often to take the high road even when some really crazy fucker is continually after me over some dumb "yr-thread-is-shit-you-are-shit" thing I've said.

I resolve that, the crazy fuckers I was able to identify in 2008, I shall try not to poke with sticks just for sport.

I resolve to try to refrain from posting "yr-thread-is-shit-you-are-shit" in the first place. Even if I'm thinking it. Especially if I don't really have a dog in the hunt.

I resolve to try to be more concise.

I resolve that in 2009, at least 8 more Mefites will refer to me as a boy, tho' I am not. I guess that's not really a resolution as much as a Nostradamus-like prediction.

I resolve to eat a donut with Cocoa Puffs on it.

I resolve that in 2009, I shall pause any time I type Nostradamus and think "Wait, Nostradamus? Nosferatu? Which one is flesh-eating and which one is future-telling?"
posted by pineapple at 2:17 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to clean my desk.
posted by swift at 2:24 PM on December 31, 2008


My sister in Maine mailed us two LIVE LOBSTERS, today. we cooked and ate them and they were fucking delicious.

I resolve to cook more things alive.
posted by jonmc at 3:00 PM on December 31, 2008


That pineapple sure is a great guy, huh?

Wait, what?
posted by Caduceus at 3:00 PM on December 31, 2008


Oh, and have fun studying abroad, Solon! We'll miss you if you disappear, though.
posted by Caduceus at 3:02 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I resolve
to make more FPPs
to refrain from MeMailing the mods with my queries about Who Is A Sockpuppet Really
to get back on IRC
to make a Chicago meetup
to make a New Haven meetup should one happen when I'm there next spring
to provide more answers on AskMe
to continue to refrain from acting fanboyish toward Flapjax At Midnite (I LOVED THIRD PERSON, DAMMIT)
posted by jtron at 3:04 PM on December 31, 2008


*cooks pineapple alive*
posted by jonmc at 3:04 PM on December 31, 2008


HA HA CADUCEUS IT'S STILL 2008 DOESN'T COUNT NYAH NYAH
posted by pineapple at 3:11 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


pineapple : I resolve that in 2009, I shall pause any time I type Nostradamus and think "Wait, Nostradamus? Nosferatu?

You might be getting confused because of the lesser known Nosferadamus who was well known for predicting when he would come to your house and suck your corpse dry. Really, just a serial killer with a terrible sense of humor when it comes right down to it.

I resolve to try to be more concise.

So that would be sort of like... (wait for it...) Pineapple Express?

posted by quin at 3:12 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


damn, he's not done yet.

*turn up heat*
posted by jonmc at 3:12 PM on December 31, 2008


No more killing sprees.
posted by jonmc at 10:17 AM on December 31 [+] [!]

I resolve to cook more things alive.
posted by jonmc at 6:00 PM on December 31 [+] [!]


Uh oh.
posted by Urban Hermit at 3:21 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I resolve to believe that everyone on MetaFilter is intersexed, therefore no matter what gender they are, I can be surprised.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:43 PM on December 31, 2008


grapefruitmoon, if that was true, I'd never post, I'd be too busy playing with my boobs.
posted by jonmc at 3:51 PM on December 31, 2008


I was hoping to top 800 favorites before the end of '08.
posted by b1tr0t at 4:10 PM on December 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


jonmc, now THAT does NOT surprise me.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:11 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to flag every instance of ageism I encounter.

And that shit about "red-headed stepchildren" is right out too.
posted by timeistight at 4:25 PM on December 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


I'm listening to Trinidadian steel drum cover of "I Want You Back." That may surprise you.
posted by jonmc at 4:28 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to become more grizzled and give more stink-eye.
posted by The Straightener at 4:36 PM on December 31, 2008


My New Year's resolution is 1280x800.
posted by ludwig_van at 4:37 PM on December 31, 2008 [5 favorites]


Aw, nickyskye, just keep on being yourself (though we could all do with less typos, probably). Earnestness is a pleasant change from the usual all-snark-all-the-time programming around here.

My resolutions: find a job and make a few friends. Not necessarily MeFi-related, but since we're sharing ...

*contemplates resolutions, considers economy and life track record, feels depressed, then brightens at the realization that at least there's no tendency toward alcoholism in the family history*
posted by Quietgal at 4:46 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


My resolution: get more fireworks to light next year!
Gelukkig nieuwjaar mefietjes.
posted by jouke at 5:00 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to actually participate (not just here, but in life). As an extra - thank you to all of you. You've taught me, amused me and inspired me. I hope 2009 brings you happiness.
posted by She Kisses Wyverns at 5:13 PM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


My resolution was going to be to craft a metafilter FPP. But I wasnt' sure if i would be able to get past the fear of rejection. But then I was inspired so i think i have a real FPPable subject.

by the by, I wish I could just come up with ideas to post about and give them to someone else so that I wouldn't have to face the scary metafilter critics.
posted by silkygreenbelly at 5:22 PM on December 31, 2008


Happy New Year from the future! It's 2009 in Iceland and we've got jet packs and identical single-piece monochromatic clothes and a total breakdown of the social order!
posted by Kattullus at 5:34 PM on December 31, 2008 [5 favorites]


Speaking of dersins, look how flexible he is here holding a PBR near and dear! (That's qvantamon on the left, btw!) Congratulations to cavalier on your impending lil' cavalier! Happy New Year to all of you!
posted by Lynsey at 5:38 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to not post any more flash games about throwing shoes at Bush. I resolve to finish up that post I've been compiling links for all month. Not by midnight tonight though, so I resolve to lose the best post of December contest. I resolve at about 20/30 vision, with corrective lenses.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:45 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to read more metafilter, answer more askmes, and listen to more mefimusic. I started a new job about 3 months ago and, weirdly, have not been slacking off. Must change that.
posted by mumkin at 5:54 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to spend less time on metafilter and to devote more time to reading books and face-to-face socializing.
posted by jason's_planet at 5:58 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to stop being so bitter. OH WAIT. I CAN'T DO THAT. It'll explode the eponysterical-time-and-space-vortex.

Ok, I'll settle for being a little less cranky. That'll do. And I'll help jonmc clean up whatever killing sprees he does manage to get himself into, then crack a beer and make hipster jokes.

(Much easier than the "use the elliptical in the basement" one, unless jonmc really goes wild).
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:51 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to make even more awesome Front-Page Posts and comments in 2009 that earn me even more favorites than in 2008.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:51 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to be less intimidated by this place and start participating more. I sat on the sidelines for the boyzone and not-rape threads, too chicken to chime in, and let others carry the burden for me. I'm pretty disappointed in myself for that.

Also, I resolve to get all the way through the Prose Edda.

Gleðilegt nýtt ár, Reykjavík!
posted by weebil at 6:56 PM on December 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I am stealing all three of my resolutions.
posted by moss at 7:00 PM on December 31, 2008


Hey Weebil! I'm reading the Poetic Edda right now -- on my Kindle, even! (I find the thought of reading the Eddas on a Kindle kind of hilarious).
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:09 PM on December 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I resolve to do a bit more research on Middle Eastern 12 year olds, because I hear they work really cheap.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:31 PM on December 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


Okay, I love the idea of reading the Eddas on a Kindle! Whose translation are you reading?
posted by weebil at 8:38 PM on December 31, 2008


Finally watch the last season of Reboot, ending years of mourning at reporting it at Metafilter and then not getting to watch it. Then participate in a topic that doesn't involve Boing Boing, Violet Blue, Moderation, or TELEVISION SHOWS I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO WATCH.

Um, that.
posted by mrmorgan at 8:56 PM on December 31, 2008


Happy New Year from NYC!
posted by jonmc at 9:08 PM on December 31, 2008


Porn. More porn. Lots more porn.

Watch lots more porn.
posted by Johnny Porno at 9:08 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to do a bit more research on Middle Eastern 12 year olds

I'm Detective Peterson, this is Detective Krantz. We're going to need you to come down to the station.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:12 PM on December 31, 2008


Porn, much less porn.
posted by Balisong at 9:29 PM on December 31, 2008


(Much easier than the "use the elliptical in the basement" one, unless jonmc really goes wild).

Funny, I read that as "ellipses" and thought "Yeah... I should really do that too..."
posted by salvia at 10:23 PM on December 31, 2008


Funny, I read that as "ellipses" and thought "Yeah... I should really do that too..."

Be very very careful, salvia. I was once a huge user of ellipses (still am, but I'm trying to control it). I've found that it... angers... some people.
posted by amyms at 10:52 PM on December 31, 2008


I am hereby simultaneously declaring and breaking my "no drunk posting" resolution. Mwah!
posted by dirtdirt at 11:02 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to be more interesting. And to make some friends. For all the time I spend here, I might as well forge some connections.

And maybe figure out an Ottawa satellite anniversary meetup, since I think I would have to defriend myself on Facebook if I spent two weeks' wages to fly down to NOLA for an internet gathering.
posted by Phire at 11:08 PM on December 31, 2008


What's that? You don't wanna fight anymore? You want me to Mefil Mail you?

You're making a lot of comments, almost like you're beggin', beggin' for favorite. You'd like that wouldn't you? You'd like it because you're bad, you dirty little mefite.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:15 PM on December 31, 2008


Be very very careful, salvia. I was once a huge user of ellipses (still am, but I'm trying to control it). I've found that it... angers... some people.

Well done. I'm not sure if your underlying message there is for real or not, but the truth is that I originally thought the resolution was "use fewer ellipses," and that was the resolution I seconded.
posted by salvia at 11:34 PM on December 31, 2008


I originally thought the resolution was "use fewer ellipses," and that was the resolution I seconded.

Ahhh... Well... Disregard my comment, then.
posted by amyms at 11:44 PM on December 31, 2008


I resolve to start a revolution in MeTa. Hopefully, it'll spread like wildfire.
posted by daniel_charms at 12:04 AM on January 1, 2009


I resolve to figure out how they re-animated zombie Dick Clark on TV.
posted by MythMaker at 12:38 AM on January 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


I resolve not to drink any more. I also resolve not to drink any less.
posted by peeedro at 1:10 AM on January 1, 2009


Henry Adams Bellows, if I remember right, weebil.

Also, I'm going to use ellipses when talking about my elliptical...like this...or this...
posted by bitter-girl.com at 1:14 AM on January 1, 2009


I was going to quit smoking, but then I remembered, that I already quit 6 weeks ago. Oh well...
posted by sour cream at 1:32 AM on January 1, 2009


Get a job, and not get foreclosed upon.
posted by Snyder at 5:26 AM on January 1, 2009


I resolve to figure out how they re-animated zombie Dick Clark on TV.

Man, zombie Dick Clark was horrifying to watch. I nearly had nightmares. Good lord, can't we let the man be undead in peace?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:15 AM on January 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Happy New Year, from nigh on January 2nd. I resolve to attend a Tokyo/Japan meetup, perhaps actually make a post of my very own, and to make a detailed, note cards and photos push pinned to pegboard a la The Wire map of the cabal. The shocker is that mathowie is not the Greek!

I've said too much.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:43 AM on January 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I resolve to finally put together that poetry FPP before being spirited away. And send PMs to Pastabagel when he makes me guffaw.
posted by ersatz at 6:58 AM on January 1, 2009


I resolve to consider not waking up before 7 even on vacation days.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:07 AM on January 1, 2009


Just wanted to wish you all a Happy 200⑨ - may this year be even more バカバカバカ than the one before.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:18 AM on January 1, 2009


Happy 9, everybody!


... okay, I think I'm going back to bed.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:40 AM on January 1, 2009


Can't sleep, Undead Croak-voiced Frozen-faced Dick Clark will eat me.
posted by The Whelk at 10:02 AM on January 1, 2009


I resolve to eat a donut with Cocoa Puffs on it.

Whoa! Wait a minute! I find your ideas fascinating and wish to subscribe to your newsletter!
posted by blue_beetle at 10:10 AM on January 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


I resolve to get more favorites. Starting right now. nudge
posted by inigo2 at 10:20 AM on January 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


blue_beetle, your newsletter.
posted by cgc373 at 11:00 AM on January 1, 2009


I resolve to use my USB Breathalyzer before posting.
posted by fixedgear at 12:27 PM on January 1, 2009


No more posting to MetaTalk
posted by nanojath at 1:41 PM on January 1, 2009


God damn it.
posted by nanojath at 1:42 PM on January 1, 2009


More AskMe, less MeTa. Time I started giving back.
posted by dg at 2:13 PM on January 1, 2009


I resolve not to knock the dicks out of people's mouths.
posted by homunculus at 3:03 PM on January 1, 2009


I resolve to stop holding other people up to an impossible standard but to continue holding myself up to an impossible standard: it's okay to be consumed by self-hatred if you're not an asshole about it.

I also resolve to receive three more favorites per comment this year, on average. I am incredibly frustrated by the unceasing torrent of comments I produce with 9 favorites, thus JUST BARELY MISSING being on all my contacts' activity sidebars. Damnit.
posted by Ryvar at 3:13 PM on January 1, 2009


blue_beetle: AND IT'S CALLED A TRIPLE CHOCOLATE PENETRATION.

You see why I'm so resolved.
posted by pineapple at 6:27 PM on January 1, 2009


I resolve to be more invisible.
posted by batmonkey at 8:43 PM on January 1, 2009


I used to hold to the theory that Dick Clark was actually a robot, as he didn't seem to age for my entire childhood, teenage years, and early twenties. Then he aged a lot, very suddenly. Now I don't know what to think.
posted by Caduceus at 11:12 PM on January 1, 2009


I resolve to find a way out of this labyrinth or at least tell my roommate to stop being such a slob.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:43 PM on January 1, 2009


Then he aged a lot, very suddenly. Now I don't know what to think.

That's how Tryell built 'em.

*cues up parodic "I've seen marching bands burning off the shoulder of Times Square..." speech*
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:08 AM on January 2, 2009


I think in 2009 I will endeavor to get 2009 favorites. On track so far!
posted by Eideteker at 5:55 PM on January 2, 2009


I had some really great resolutions, but too late to post them now. I guess I should have spent New Years Eve on Metafilter. Oh well. Next year.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:48 PM on January 2, 2009


Spend more time on Digg, so I learn to love MeFi more.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:14 AM on January 3, 2009


The thread is dead but I need to put this in here to shame me into doing it; I will complete a cryptic crossword in 2009.
posted by minifigs at 7:58 AM on January 5, 2009


You could do worse than The Bugle's audio cryptic crossword. The Bugle, also, you could do worse than.
posted by Kattullus at 9:41 AM on January 5, 2009 [2 favorites]


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