"V" is for "Valiant" February 17, 2009 5:03 AM Subscribe
Thank you to all those who have sent kind words to us - they really do help us stay tough. And thanks as a whole to the MeFi community, which has kept me entertained, interested and mentally functioning the past weeks as I lurked, learning new things and following the drama.
Vivienne passed away in her sleep last night - I guess she was waiting to make one final point.
I am sorry that a wonderful child is gone from this world much too soon. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Hugs.
posted by McGuillicuddy at 5:13 AM on February 17, 2009
Hugs.
posted by McGuillicuddy at 5:13 AM on February 17, 2009
I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling, but for what it's worth, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. May you be blessed with another child very, very soon.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:21 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:21 AM on February 17, 2009
From a complete stranger, with all my heart, I offer my sincere condolences. I wish I could give you more.
posted by h00py at 5:22 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by h00py at 5:22 AM on February 17, 2009
So, so sorry for your loss. Really, I have no other words. Lots of love to your family.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:25 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:25 AM on February 17, 2009
My thoughts are with you and your family, very sorry for your loss.
posted by Ugh at 5:29 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Ugh at 5:29 AM on February 17, 2009
Oh, bunnycup, how sad. I'm so sorry you lost her. Please take the time you need to grieve your sweet little one.
posted by peggynature at 5:29 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by peggynature at 5:29 AM on February 17, 2009
Really wanted to add to the MeMail but couldn't think of anything to say that didn't sound stupid, so I'll just say I'm sorry and you are an unbelievably strong person. Thank you for that.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:34 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by middleclasstool at 5:34 AM on February 17, 2009
I read your blog a little bit this morning -- what a beautiful girl! Clearly loved by so many, and its easy to see that she knew she was loved.
Nothing in the world, no words, no hugs, no gesture can mitigate the pain of a loss like this, nor should it. Its a gift that she slipped away in her sleep without pain or fear. Its a gift that you gave her to be able to make the judgment "this is enough, we have done all we can" and allowed her to live the life she was given in peace and comfort. Not all parents are strong enough to do that.
You and your family and your beautiful daughter are in our thoughts.
posted by anastasiav at 5:39 AM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Nothing in the world, no words, no hugs, no gesture can mitigate the pain of a loss like this, nor should it. Its a gift that she slipped away in her sleep without pain or fear. Its a gift that you gave her to be able to make the judgment "this is enough, we have done all we can" and allowed her to live the life she was given in peace and comfort. Not all parents are strong enough to do that.
You and your family and your beautiful daughter are in our thoughts.
posted by anastasiav at 5:39 AM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.
posted by Sailormom at 5:47 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Sailormom at 5:47 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry, my condolences.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 5:49 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by flibbertigibbet at 5:49 AM on February 17, 2009
She will live in your thoughts forever. Thank you for sharing your strength.
posted by netbros at 5:55 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by netbros at 5:55 AM on February 17, 2009
Your strength as a parent is inspiring. I wish you peace.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:55 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Rock Steady at 5:55 AM on February 17, 2009
((hugs))
posted by monju_bosatsu at 6:01 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by monju_bosatsu at 6:01 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry, bunnycup.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 6:02 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 6:02 AM on February 17, 2009
I had not seen your comment.
Words fail me.
posted by jouke at 6:06 AM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Words fail me.
posted by jouke at 6:06 AM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Peace be with you.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:09 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:09 AM on February 17, 2009
I hope that if I am ever in your situation, I exhibit half as much strength and openness as you have. My thoughts are with you.
posted by gman at 6:13 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by gman at 6:13 AM on February 17, 2009
Words are often worse than useless in this situation, but I can only say that I know something of where you are -- I lost my little brother a few years ago, and today was his birthday. It gets better.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:14 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:14 AM on February 17, 2009
From a stranger, my sincere condolences.
posted by typewriter at 6:17 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by typewriter at 6:17 AM on February 17, 2009
Vivienne is a beautiful name for a beautiful child. I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.
posted by desjardins at 6:18 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by desjardins at 6:18 AM on February 17, 2009
Very sorry, dear.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:19 AM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:19 AM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
So terribly sorry to hear this. Deepest sympathies. Please take care of yourself.
posted by goshling at 6:19 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by goshling at 6:19 AM on February 17, 2009
I was so happy to see you were back with your metafilter post yesterday because you have been gone for a while and I wondered how things were working out for you. I am so happy you got to have Vivi and enjoy her love - I am so sorry you didn't get as much time with her as you would have liked. She has a beautiful smile.
posted by saucysault at 6:26 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by saucysault at 6:26 AM on February 17, 2009
"I was driving with my children to my wife's funeral where I was to preach the sermon. As we came into one small town there strode down in front of us a truck that came to stop before a red light. It was the biggest truck I ever saw in my life, and the sun was shining on it at just the right angle that took its shadow and spread it across the snow on the field beside it. As the shadow covered that field, I said, "Look children at that truck, and look at its shadow. If you had to be run over, which would you rather be run over by? Would you rather be run over by the truck or by the shadow?" My youngest child said, "The shadow couldn't hurt anybody." "That's right," I continued, "and death is a truck, but the shadow is all that ever touches the Christian. The truck ran over the Lord Jesus. Only the shadow is gone over mother." - Donald Grey Barnhouse
My prayers are with you bunnycup.
posted by allkindsoftime at 6:29 AM on February 17, 2009 [5 favorites]
My prayers are with you bunnycup.
posted by allkindsoftime at 6:29 AM on February 17, 2009 [5 favorites]
I had not heard about your daughter's illness until now but speaking both as a parent and as someone who takes care of sick children, rest assured you and your family will be in my thoughts for some time. My condolences; Vivienne was clearly much loved and I'm sure is sorely missed.
posted by TedW at 6:38 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by TedW at 6:38 AM on February 17, 2009
I've been thinking of you and your family these last couple of days. I'm terribly sorry for the pain that you have gone through and will go through in the days to come and I am sorry that the world has lost little Vivienne.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:40 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:40 AM on February 17, 2009
My thoughts are with you. Even those of us that have lost a child will never grasp your own personal grief and sadness.
I speak from experience when I say that it WILL get better someday. Even on those days when it seems that the grief is too deep, believe that it will get better.
When my son died I was convinced there would never again be joy in my life, a smile, happiness, or even the desire to go on. I still believe that it was a conversation with a professional associate I really didn't know very well, that helped me pull through. After all of the formalities and tasks that come with an event like this, I returned to work, a few days later I was walking with this individual to a meeting we were both attending. She quietly expressed her condolences, and let me know that she had lost a son years before. I recall stopping in my tracks, unable to believe that anyone could survive an event like this, I was convinced I couldn't. She gently said, "it will get better", and we walked on....
I pass those words along to you...
posted by HuronBob at 6:41 AM on February 17, 2009
I speak from experience when I say that it WILL get better someday. Even on those days when it seems that the grief is too deep, believe that it will get better.
When my son died I was convinced there would never again be joy in my life, a smile, happiness, or even the desire to go on. I still believe that it was a conversation with a professional associate I really didn't know very well, that helped me pull through. After all of the formalities and tasks that come with an event like this, I returned to work, a few days later I was walking with this individual to a meeting we were both attending. She quietly expressed her condolences, and let me know that she had lost a son years before. I recall stopping in my tracks, unable to believe that anyone could survive an event like this, I was convinced I couldn't. She gently said, "it will get better", and we walked on....
I pass those words along to you...
posted by HuronBob at 6:41 AM on February 17, 2009
As gman said, you've shown incredible courage in your posts here on Mefi.
Huge hugs to you. I'm sure if she's had the chance she would have made an amazing Mefite!
posted by Wilder at 6:46 AM on February 17, 2009
Huge hugs to you. I'm sure if she's had the chance she would have made an amazing Mefite!
posted by Wilder at 6:46 AM on February 17, 2009
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.
posted by iamkimiam at 6:48 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by iamkimiam at 6:48 AM on February 17, 2009
Vivienne and my son shared their birthday, he is a year older. My heart is breaking for you and your family but I'm so touched after reading about her last days. She was loved and comfortable and you were both blessed to have the the other. My prayers are with you and yours.
posted by pearlybob at 6:49 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by pearlybob at 6:49 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for letting us share this here. I didn't know anything about Vivienne until I read your comments in the recent vaccination controversy threads. To share so much of your story in those difficult threads gave me a real sense of what it means to have grace.
Peace be with you and yours. It will come.
posted by juliplease at 7:01 AM on February 17, 2009
Peace be with you and yours. It will come.
posted by juliplease at 7:01 AM on February 17, 2009
I just read your story at length for the first time. I'm very sorry for you and your family.
posted by arimathea at 7:02 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by arimathea at 7:02 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:22 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:22 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry. Thank you bunnycup for sharing the life in your lovely little girl with us. She was bright beautiful light. My deepest condolences to you and yours. Take care.
posted by dog food sugar at 7:22 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by dog food sugar at 7:22 AM on February 17, 2009
So very sorry for your loss.
posted by jerseygirl at 7:32 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by jerseygirl at 7:32 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm sorry for your loss; I offer my deepest condolences. It's very heartening to see such love and strength.
My thoughts are with you.
posted by defenestration at 7:40 AM on February 17, 2009
My thoughts are with you.
posted by defenestration at 7:40 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you.
posted by mothershock at 7:42 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by mothershock at 7:42 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry that you've lost Vivienne. I've read your blog and can see that she was a beautiful and cherished little girl. It's a tribute to you that she never knew a moment of fear or anxiety.
posted by maudlin at 7:48 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by maudlin at 7:48 AM on February 17, 2009
Bunnycup, I am so sorry. Words don't do this feeling justice, I'm just so heartbroken for you. May you find some peace and and feel this love pouring out to you from all of us.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 8:04 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Grlnxtdr at 8:04 AM on February 17, 2009
Sending my sympathy and regret for your loss. Take care.
posted by chococat at 8:28 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by chococat at 8:28 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm very sorry. Words are rarely adequate for moments like this, but know that you have my sincere condolences for your loss.
posted by quin at 8:29 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by quin at 8:29 AM on February 17, 2009
I just want to send in a quick note. I was hesitant to write this MeTa, because I was worried some in the MeFiverse might criticize my decision to talk about something so personal as my daughter's passing on a public website, or see it the wrong way. But the complete waterfall of support is an incredibly wonderful thing - to read through and know that Vivi's existence can touch people who never met her, that her short life was WORTH it, and inspires compassion, is so reassuring.
And as I have said to a few people by MeMail, every word of support and compassion gives us a little bit more strength and bravery. I've become a pro at taking things "one day at a time," but today it's "an hour at a time". And reading these sweet, caring comments, helps me re-up for another hour.
posted by bunnycup at 8:33 AM on February 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
And as I have said to a few people by MeMail, every word of support and compassion gives us a little bit more strength and bravery. I've become a pro at taking things "one day at a time," but today it's "an hour at a time". And reading these sweet, caring comments, helps me re-up for another hour.
posted by bunnycup at 8:33 AM on February 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
Remember, all things will be made new. Including your Vivi. My heart goes out to you.
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 8:41 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by hellboundforcheddar at 8:41 AM on February 17, 2009
Sorry to hear the news. Best of luck going forward from here.
posted by paisley henosis at 8:42 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by paisley henosis at 8:42 AM on February 17, 2009
Big, big hugs.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 8:42 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 8:42 AM on February 17, 2009
My heart goes out to you, bunnycup! Peace upon you and your family.
posted by taz at 8:46 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by taz at 8:46 AM on February 17, 2009
I've been really moved to learn about this terrible event and the grace with which you have been handling it.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
posted by jasper411 at 8:47 AM on February 17, 2009
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
posted by jasper411 at 8:47 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. Your strength in this is admirable. Many, many, hugs go out to you and your family.
posted by Verdandi at 9:01 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Verdandi at 9:01 AM on February 17, 2009
Sending happy thoughts your way bunnycup - along with lots of carrots and lettuce.
posted by matty at 9:02 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by matty at 9:02 AM on February 17, 2009
I too am so very sorry. My deepest sympathies.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:05 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 9:05 AM on February 17, 2009
Hugs and sympathies. It's a hard thing.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:08 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:08 AM on February 17, 2009
My condolences on your loss.
posted by languagehat at 9:11 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by languagehat at 9:11 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry to hear it. I read a little of your blog about Vivienne yesterday and could only get through a handful of posts before breaking down. I can't imagine what it feels like to lose something so precious. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
posted by lysistrata at 9:14 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by lysistrata at 9:14 AM on February 17, 2009
I am so, so sorry.
posted by sarcasticah at 9:21 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by sarcasticah at 9:21 AM on February 17, 2009
She is gone too soon. My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm so so sorry for your loss.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:22 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:22 AM on February 17, 2009
bunnycup, I'm so sorry. You have my deepest sympathies.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:32 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by small_ruminant at 9:32 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:34 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:34 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so saddened to hear your loss.
posted by Reverend John at 9:38 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Reverend John at 9:38 AM on February 17, 2009
I want to thank you for sharing your experience, as enormously painful as it must have been (and still be) to do so. You are giving each of us some of our humanity and compassion back as we learn what you and your family have been through, and are going through. Blessings to you and to Vivi, and to everyone you love. Thank you again.
posted by pomegranate at 9:41 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by pomegranate at 9:41 AM on February 17, 2009
Oh, bunnycup, I am so, so sorry. You have been in my thoughts since our short conversation yesterday. You have my sincerest condolences.
posted by sugarfish at 9:43 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by sugarfish at 9:43 AM on February 17, 2009
My sincerest condolences. Vivienne lives through you, and you honor her memory in all you do. You educate countless people through your blogs and posts. You share her beauty, strength, and goodness. Through you she has touched -- and continues to touch -- many, many lives. Though Vivienne's time on earth was all too brief, her legacy through your kind acts shall be limitless.
posted by terranova at 9:50 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by terranova at 9:50 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry. Thank you for posting this and sharing with us.
posted by cashman at 9:53 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by cashman at 9:53 AM on February 17, 2009
When my mother was dying of cancer people kept saying, "I don't know what to say to you." I am going to give you my mother's response:
"'This sucks,' and 'I'm sorry' are about all you can say."
It does suck and I am sorry. My condolences.
posted by cjorgensen at 10:00 AM on February 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
"'This sucks,' and 'I'm sorry' are about all you can say."
It does suck and I am sorry. My condolences.
posted by cjorgensen at 10:00 AM on February 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
My deepest condolences to you and your family. I wish you and yours continued strength and grace.
posted by melissa at 10:00 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by melissa at 10:00 AM on February 17, 2009
{{{BunnyCup}}}
posted by schyler523 at 10:01 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by schyler523 at 10:01 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry, and my thoughts are with you and your family.
posted by katillathehun at 10:10 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by katillathehun at 10:10 AM on February 17, 2009
I am so very sorry. I read Vivi's blog yesterday and was deeply touched by the love you expressed and that I know she felt.
posted by Rumple at 10:13 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by Rumple at 10:13 AM on February 17, 2009
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
posted by DWRoelands at 10:39 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by DWRoelands at 10:39 AM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry to hear this, and I wish you and yours all the strength to get through it.
posted by rollbiz at 10:41 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by rollbiz at 10:41 AM on February 17, 2009
I too, clicked over to your blog yesterday after your post in the Thread of Much Drama. Not much to say except I am sorry for your loss, and join everyone else here in wishing you the strength to get through it.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 11:06 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by bitter-girl.com at 11:06 AM on February 17, 2009
I am really sorry for your loss. I wish you peace in this time of sorrow and mourning.
posted by onalark at 11:12 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by onalark at 11:12 AM on February 17, 2009
You have my deepest sympathies. Her brief life was clearly blessed with love and devotion, which I know is little comfort right now.
May strength and love surround you and all who loved her as mourning turns to healing, and all of the good memories and the beauty of her soul shine on in your hearts forever.
posted by batmonkey at 11:17 AM on February 17, 2009
May strength and love surround you and all who loved her as mourning turns to healing, and all of the good memories and the beauty of her soul shine on in your hearts forever.
posted by batmonkey at 11:17 AM on February 17, 2009
I was reading your blog yesterday and spent quite a bit of time thinking about your faith, your strength, and your love for your beautiful daughter. I'm so very, very sorry for your loss.
posted by mostlymartha at 11:58 AM on February 17, 2009
posted by mostlymartha at 11:58 AM on February 17, 2009
i had no idea this was going on. condolences & hugs & strength & love to you. and to vivienne.
posted by msconduct at 12:13 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by msconduct at 12:13 PM on February 17, 2009
My condolences, bunnycup. I truly can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. I wish you and yours continued strength.
posted by Caduceus at 12:16 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by Caduceus at 12:16 PM on February 17, 2009
This is heartbreaking news. I'm so sorry.
posted by oneirodynia at 12:22 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by oneirodynia at 12:22 PM on February 17, 2009
Speechless and heartbroken. So sorry, bunnycup.
posted by Space Kitty at 12:31 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by Space Kitty at 12:31 PM on February 17, 2009
My condolences, bunnycup.
posted by Stewriffic at 12:35 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by Stewriffic at 12:35 PM on February 17, 2009
Bunnycup, I am so sorry. I wish you peace and healing, and strength for the hours ahead.
posted by MonkeyToes at 12:49 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by MonkeyToes at 12:49 PM on February 17, 2009
I am so sorry. Your love will go on forever. My sincerest condolences.
posted by Miko at 12:49 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by Miko at 12:49 PM on February 17, 2009
I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a child and selfishly hope I never have to.
My wife and I send our thoughts and prayers to you in this difficult time. You are indeed a brave and strong soul.
posted by cjets at 1:15 PM on February 17, 2009
My wife and I send our thoughts and prayers to you in this difficult time. You are indeed a brave and strong soul.
posted by cjets at 1:15 PM on February 17, 2009
Whatever little comfort it is, we're all here for you, Bunnycup.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 1:19 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by kuujjuarapik at 1:19 PM on February 17, 2009
I'm sorry for your loss. I was thinking about you and your little girl since I read your comment yesterday. Whatever you need to get through this time, I hope it finds it's way to you.
posted by saturnine at 1:44 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by saturnine at 1:44 PM on February 17, 2009
Thanks for the support guys.
(Viv's uncle here)
<3 .
posted by furiousxgeorge at 1:54 PM on February 17, 2009
(Viv's uncle here)
<3 .
posted by furiousxgeorge at 1:54 PM on February 17, 2009
Love to FxG - we would never make it without him. And beer. Which he brings. So, mostly HIM.
posted by bunnycup at 2:00 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by bunnycup at 2:00 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
All of my deepest sympathies and condolences. Thank you so much for your bravery.
posted by Navelgazer at 2:00 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by Navelgazer at 2:00 PM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry, bunnycup. My best wishes for healing for your family.
posted by andraste at 2:02 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by andraste at 2:02 PM on February 17, 2009
so so sorry, bunnycup. love and best wishes to you and your family.
posted by lia at 2:11 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by lia at 2:11 PM on February 17, 2009
After your comment yesterday I read your whole blog. What a sweet and tragic life for little Vivi. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
posted by deborah at 2:53 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by deborah at 2:53 PM on February 17, 2009
I am so sorry to hear of your great loss.
posted by longsleeves at 3:03 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by longsleeves at 3:03 PM on February 17, 2009
Like many others I also read your blog after your comments just yesterday, and I've been thinking a lot about you and your family since. What a heartrending story. I'm so sorry she is gone, my condolences.
posted by gemmy at 3:13 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by gemmy at 3:13 PM on February 17, 2009
My wife, who lost her own son ten years ago, recommends reading The Bereaved Parent and When The Bough Breaks. Compassionate Friends is a support group for grieving parents she found very helpful. We're so sorry for your loss.
posted by EarBucket at 3:31 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by EarBucket at 3:31 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I have a daughter, and this broke my heart. I'm very sorry for your loss.
posted by SpacemanStix at 3:33 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by SpacemanStix at 3:33 PM on February 17, 2009
I am very sorry for your loss. This sucks.
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:37 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:37 PM on February 17, 2009
On Children
Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
posted by Nick Verstayne at 3:39 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
posted by Nick Verstayne at 3:39 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
What a terrible loss. I am so sorry, bunnycup.
posted by crossoverman at 3:57 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by crossoverman at 3:57 PM on February 17, 2009
I just read the blog (the whole thing!) and I wanted to thank you for sharing Vivi's journey with us. I truly feel touched to catch a glimpse of such a wonderful person. I'm quite sorry she couldn't stay around longer.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:13 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:13 PM on February 17, 2009
I can't possibly imagine. I am so sorry, honey.
posted by Toekneesan at 4:17 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by Toekneesan at 4:17 PM on February 17, 2009
I'm sorry, bunnycup. Hugs.
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 4:21 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 4:21 PM on February 17, 2009
So very sorry, bunnycup.
posted by stagewhisper at 4:25 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by stagewhisper at 4:25 PM on February 17, 2009
Oh, bunnycup, I'm so sorry.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:28 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:28 PM on February 17, 2009
I just did the same thing, grapefruitmoon, and strangely enough I walked away from it with a better feeling than I had anticipated. It wasn't because of the outcome, of course, but I think it is because of what a wonderful child she was, to an outsider, and what wonderful parents and family she had.
I also walked away from it a Partner in Hope. I don't mention this to in any way pimp my contibution, but merely as a reminder to MeFites who are able to donate one time or monthly. I'd never donated to St. Jude's before today, even though I've had ample reminders about the work they do. That's the only reason I'm bringing it up here. A contribution of any size there will help families with children in this situation in the future.
posted by rollbiz at 4:29 PM on February 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
I also walked away from it a Partner in Hope. I don't mention this to in any way pimp my contibution, but merely as a reminder to MeFites who are able to donate one time or monthly. I'd never donated to St. Jude's before today, even though I've had ample reminders about the work they do. That's the only reason I'm bringing it up here. A contribution of any size there will help families with children in this situation in the future.
posted by rollbiz at 4:29 PM on February 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
Oh, (((bunnycup))). My thoughts are with you and your family.
posted by goo at 5:07 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by goo at 5:07 PM on February 17, 2009
My condolences, to your and your family. Thank you for taking the time to post to Metafilter, when I know your thoughts must be on a thousand other things right now.
posted by librarylis at 5:08 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by librarylis at 5:08 PM on February 17, 2009
Bunnycup, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your strength is truly inspiring.
posted by contrariwise at 5:22 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by contrariwise at 5:22 PM on February 17, 2009
I hope you keep writing about it, even if it feels like you're not supposed to. You don't have to be brave. I'm glad Vivi was in the world, in order to change it the way she has. I'll be lighting a luminary for her at this year's relay.
posted by Hildegarde at 6:15 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by Hildegarde at 6:15 PM on February 17, 2009
I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by Evangeline at 6:58 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by Evangeline at 6:58 PM on February 17, 2009
I am so, so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
posted by emd3737 at 7:06 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by emd3737 at 7:06 PM on February 17, 2009
My thoughts and sympathies. Thank you for sharing her story with us.
posted by casarkos at 7:14 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by casarkos at 7:14 PM on February 17, 2009
I'm happy that you had this beautiful sweet child in your life, and I am so, so sorry for your loss.
posted by theora55 at 7:29 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by theora55 at 7:29 PM on February 17, 2009
I'm so very sorry.
My son would have been named Vivienne if he were a girl. I'm going to give him an extra hug right now.
Condolences and peace.
posted by lisa g at 7:57 PM on February 17, 2009
My son would have been named Vivienne if he were a girl. I'm going to give him an extra hug right now.
Condolences and peace.
posted by lisa g at 7:57 PM on February 17, 2009
I just want to do my part to keep this thread going for you. My sympathies.
posted by availablelight at 8:05 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by availablelight at 8:05 PM on February 17, 2009
I am very, very sorry this happened. My deepest condolences.
posted by Cobalt at 8:52 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by Cobalt at 8:52 PM on February 17, 2009
Please accept my very deepest condolences, bunnycup. What a dear, beautiful, beloved girl your Vivi will always be in your hearts.
posted by scody at 9:24 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by scody at 9:24 PM on February 17, 2009
Oh Bunnycup. My heart is with you right now. Such a beautiful girl, such a family. My sincere condolences.
posted by aclevername at 9:41 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by aclevername at 9:41 PM on February 17, 2009
Her life was worth it, bunnycup. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and Vivienne.
posted by mynameisluka at 9:50 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by mynameisluka at 9:50 PM on February 17, 2009
I'm so sorry, bunnycup. Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with us. We share in your grief as well.
posted by nelvana at 10:19 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by nelvana at 10:19 PM on February 17, 2009
I don't know what to say. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
posted by misozaki at 11:19 PM on February 17, 2009
posted by misozaki at 11:19 PM on February 17, 2009
Even after you told us that it was a likelihood, I hoped with all my heart it wouldn't happen. My heartfelt best wishes to you and all who mourn your daughter.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:41 AM on February 18, 2009
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:41 AM on February 18, 2009
I just wanted to add that the photo on the blog of Vivi in red-striped pajamas, with a red-clad doll nearby, is one of the most lovely things ever.
posted by lisa g at 12:45 AM on February 18, 2009
posted by lisa g at 12:45 AM on February 18, 2009
Oh bunnycup, I am so, so sorry. :( *hugs* Please know we care about you.
posted by IndigoRain at 1:20 AM on February 18, 2009
posted by IndigoRain at 1:20 AM on February 18, 2009
I am so sorry. And I wanted to share some words from Peter DeVries, whose novel THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB was partially based on the loss of his own child. He wrote, "Some poems are long, some are short. She was a short one."
Thinking of you and your family in this impossible time.
posted by OolooKitty at 1:26 AM on February 18, 2009
Thinking of you and your family in this impossible time.
posted by OolooKitty at 1:26 AM on February 18, 2009
My condolences to you and yours.
posted by monocultured at 2:56 AM on February 18, 2009
posted by monocultured at 2:56 AM on February 18, 2009
I just read your blog entries. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I won't pretend to know your pain but I do know your love for a daughter. Your experience will make others, including myself, pull them a little closer and appreciate them while they're here. My deepest condolences on your loss. I'm glad you are here.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:50 AM on February 18, 2009
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:50 AM on February 18, 2009
Thank you for your sharing and for your example, bunnycup.
posted by msalt at 10:43 AM on February 18, 2009
posted by msalt at 10:43 AM on February 18, 2009
I shed a tear for your girl, and then a genuine smile. The first two in a long, long while.
posted by mrmojoflying at 10:55 AM on February 18, 2009
posted by mrmojoflying at 10:55 AM on February 18, 2009
Bunnycup, I am so very sorry for your family's loss. My thoughts and condolences are with you. Look at all the love and support you are getting via MetaFilter! It's things like this that make me smile.
posted by rachaelfaith at 11:33 AM on February 18, 2009
posted by rachaelfaith at 11:33 AM on February 18, 2009
I'm so sorry for your loss, as well, bunnycup. I know nothing can replace her, and her too-short life forever changed yours. My heart goes out to you.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 11:38 AM on February 18, 2009
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 11:38 AM on February 18, 2009
I am so sad for you, bunnycup. Please accept my sincere wish for healing for you and everyone who loved Vivienne.
posted by tristeza at 6:25 PM on February 18, 2009
posted by tristeza at 6:25 PM on February 18, 2009
Dear god, bunnycup, there are no words. You appear to be someone strong in your Catholic faith, and I hope that the Church brings you much solace. My most sincere condolences from one mother to another.
posted by msali at 8:05 PM on February 18, 2009
posted by msali at 8:05 PM on February 18, 2009
I'm sorry for your loss. If there is anything I can do for you let me know.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 8:21 AM on February 19, 2009
posted by Mastercheddaar at 8:21 AM on February 19, 2009
bunnycup, I am so very, very sorry to hear of Vivi's passing. Sophia (my eldest) was a twin and we lost her brother due to a brain abnormality. I posted it once before, but it was quite a while ago in a different thread. This excerpt from The Little Prince is what I put on his memorial card. I think it most definitely applies to your sweet and beautiful daughter (I visited your blog earlier tonight). I am sure they are both looking down and smiling upon the world, free from pain and all that was wrong with their little beings.
"In one of the stars I shall be living.
In one of them I shall be laughing.
And so it will be
As if all the stars were laughing
When you look at the stars at night."
Peace and prayers to you and your family. Keep looking for those bright birds. Hugs to you, my friend.
posted by dancinglamb at 7:51 PM on February 19, 2009 [2 favorites]
"In one of the stars I shall be living.
In one of them I shall be laughing.
And so it will be
As if all the stars were laughing
When you look at the stars at night."
Peace and prayers to you and your family. Keep looking for those bright birds. Hugs to you, my friend.
posted by dancinglamb at 7:51 PM on February 19, 2009 [2 favorites]
Dancinglamb, that is BEAUTIFUL. I hope you do not mind, but I put that on Vivienne's blog. I intend to commit it to memory, it brings such a loving and warm feeling. Thank you for sharing that.
posted by bunnycup at 8:32 AM on February 20, 2009
posted by bunnycup at 8:32 AM on February 20, 2009
Just another hug.
posted by fourcheesemac at 8:04 AM on February 21, 2009
posted by fourcheesemac at 8:04 AM on February 21, 2009
I can't believe I missed this when it was posted.
I am in awe with how you have handled this but at the same time I hope you don't feel pressured into being "brave" or any of that-you are entitled to your grief however you need to express it. My heart hurts for you but swells at how much love your daughter was able to bring to your lives in such a short time.
Sending yet another hug.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 2:59 PM on March 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
I am in awe with how you have handled this but at the same time I hope you don't feel pressured into being "brave" or any of that-you are entitled to your grief however you need to express it. My heart hurts for you but swells at how much love your daughter was able to bring to your lives in such a short time.
Sending yet another hug.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 2:59 PM on March 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
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posted by turgid dahlia at 5:12 AM on February 17, 2009