riding instructions

March 4, 2009 7:56 PM

I don't want a new pony! I just want to know how to ride the one I have.

I love that there's a "new" feature - but I'm doing it wrong. Sometimes the "new" leads to things I've read already, and if I just knew how to read (?) properly, this wouldn't happen. What's the trick to make the "new" true?

posted by moxiedoll to etiquette/policy at 7:56 PM (41 comments total)

I'm lost.
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:12 PM on March 4 [2 favorites]

I think the update time for new comments is 15 or 20 minutes. If you've been on any site of metafilter.com within that time they won't be new. If you browse other sites for that time or longer the "new comments" link it be actually new comments.
posted by Science! at 8:16 PM on March 4

I vaguely remember some explanation about the "new" button being pretty database-intensive, so it's only a sort of approximation of where you were in the thread. It's not always post-accurate in terms of putting you back where you were, especially in fast moving threads, when it hasn't been that long since you were there.

Maybe that's all wrong and I just made it up though.
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:32 PM on March 4

I never realized that the "new" button was actually a button. I assumed it was just a helpful piece of information.
posted by Caduceus at 8:42 PM on March 4

Imprecision is one of life's blessings.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:43 PM on March 4

Oh that.
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:46 PM on March 4

How much of the orange powder did you snort?

and those antique irons better be ok.
posted by special-k at 8:51 PM on March 4

What's the trick to make the "new" true?

Knowing whether it's in the vessel with the pestle, or the flagon with the dragon.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:00 PM on March 4 [3 favorites]

Everything stays new as long as you're on the site, and loading pages within 20 minutes of each other (example: you load the index page, read it for a minute, go into a comment, read it for five minutes, come back out to the index page and the new indicators are the same as when you first got there).
posted by tellurian at 9:02 PM on March 4

telluran - thank you.
special-k - what, I'm a trunk seller, now? not helpful.
posted by moxiedoll at 9:06 PM on March 4

Plutor's Metafilter Scroll Tag greasemonkey script tracks how far you have read in a thread, and fixes the "new" count.
posted by team lowkey at 9:09 PM on March 4

How much of the orange powder did you snort?


What, that user is a site meme now? At least try to put the bar on one of the notches rather than just let it roll around on the floor causing tripping hazards.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:17 PM on March 4 [12 favorites]

HARDER RIDE IT HARDER
posted by klangklangston at 9:30 PM on March 4

What tellurian said about what Matt said, yeah.
posted by cortex at 9:32 PM on March 4

That greasemonkey script has made my Metafilter experience so much more fantastic. Plutor rocks.
posted by Ms. Saint at 10:04 PM on March 4

What, that user is a site meme now?

Read all about it in my new book, "From Free Cameras To 'Sweet Jesus, What Is Wrong With You?': The Astonishing Rise and Pukerating Fall of MetaFilter Memes"
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:07 PM on March 4 [3 favorites]

Dude, Alvy, I'd read that.

Well, maybe not a whole book, but a short pdf. Or, you know, MetaTalk post.

Or wiki entry.

As long as you're funny.
posted by Caduceus at 10:11 PM on March 4

You demand too much, sir.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:22 PM on March 4

Pukerating?
posted by Science! at 10:32 PM on March 4

Pukerating has something to do with the quantity of vomit, yes? So if you encounter that camera comment for the fifteenth time, you gag a little bit, but when you encounter the the thing you sort of shrug and burp? Like that?
posted by cgc373 at 10:42 PM on March 4

The trick to the "new" feature is to get out your white suit, your tap shoes and tails. If the "new" feature displays things you've read before, better leave Greta Garbo alone.
posted by Bernt Pancreas at 10:50 PM on March 4

The Astonishing Rise and Pukerating Fall of MetaFilter Memes"

The memes will end when people stop favoriting them. I will cherish the day that any comment with the word "tater" in it does not instantly generate 4 favorites.

This could likely be interpreted as a call for favorites, but for the love of cortex, spare me.
posted by clearly at 11:46 PM on March 4 [4 favorites]

Remember the scene in the Exorcist, with the rotating puke-o-rama head? That's what taters is, fucking stop it.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:54 PM on March 4

Pukerating has something to do with the quantity of vomit, yes?

More the quality, in my case - although quantity could come into it too. We were going to call the site http://www.ratemypuke.com but that domain name was taken, so we went 'web 2.0' and used http://pukerati.ng
posted by Mike1024 at 12:32 AM on March 5 [1 favorite]

I never realized that the "new" button was actually a button. I assumed it was just a helpful piece of information.

See, if it's not mustard green, I'm gonna assume it's not a link!
The white stands out, but never prompted me to think about doing a hover-over to see if I could click it. Hmm. That sounded dirty. In any case, perhaps a tweak of the colours?
posted by roombythelake at 4:10 AM on March 5

See, if it's not mustard green

It may be time to throw out that mustard.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:15 AM on March 5 [2 favorites]

I love Plutor, the Big Red Dog.
posted by popechunk at 5:16 AM on March 5

This could likely be interpreted as a call for favorites, but for the love of cortex, spare me.
posted by clearly at 11:46 PM on March 4 [1 favorite -]

Pwned.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:06 AM on March 5

[+]wned.
posted by clearly at 6:46 AM on March 5 [1 favorite]

I always read clearly not as a username, but as a statement regarding the truthiness of the comment directly above said statement. Like it's almost too obvious to post, but there it is anyway.
posted by owtytrof at 7:33 AM on March 5

read clearly not as a username, but as a statement regarding the truthiness of the comment directly above said statement.

Indubitably.
posted by carsonb at 8:12 AM on March 5

moxiedoll: What's the trick to make the "new" true?

Go outside, and stop reading MeFi so often. Problem solved!
posted by mkultra at 9:09 AM on March 5

How much of the orange powder did you snort?

This question is more appropriate for extremely long posts riddled with logical leaps and failed word play.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 9:12 AM on March 5

This could likely be interpreted as a call for favorites

Clearly.
posted by Night_owl at 9:26 AM on March 5

popechunk: "I love Plutor, the Big Red Dog."

Woof.
posted by Plutor at 9:34 AM on March 5

This could likely be interpreted as a call for favorites

Clearly.

Naturally?

Naturally.

So I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally--

No, you pick up the ball and throw it to Who.

Naturally.

Naturally.

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYIN'!
posted by shakespeherian at 9:57 AM on March 5 [1 favorite]

What?
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 11:11 AM on March 5

So, you've worked out how to ride the pony, but you're still figuring out how to hitch up the trap?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:15 AM on March 5

taters
posted by slogger at 1:10 PM on March 5

I just want to point out that it's been 3 hours since a new metatalk thread.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:49 PM on March 5

T-the?
posted by subbes at 4:32 PM on March 5