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MarkovFilter?
April 30, 2009 3:55 AM   Subscribe

MarkovFilter?

Where did it go? The community needs this. I need this. You need this.
posted by Meatbomb to Bugs at 3:55 AM (50 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

I tend to blame cortex. In this case, I might be right.
posted by Eideteker at 3:57 AM on April 30, 2009


It died along with the infodump in the Great Hackening. It's nice to bring them up again, though. We want the infodump back!
posted by Plutor at 3:58 AM on April 30, 2009


It died along with the infodump in the Great Hackening.

That was what, three months ago? I seem to recall pb spending sleepless nights until all of our mission-critical systems were back up. I am getting a little tired of certain mods dogging it at the expense of our community.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:00 AM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Crack that whip!
posted by kuujjuarapik at 4:01 AM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


I need this. You need this.

Amen brother! Let us descend on Portland, OR and lift our laptops as one great wifi network until our signal has 5 bars. Let the Million Mefite Login on begin! We will not logoff quietly in the night (EST), let MarkovFilter display!

Let MarkovFilter display from the snowcapped bedrooms of of Colorado!

Let MarkovFilter display from the curvaceous coffeehouses of California!

But not only that; let MarkovFilter display from anywhere in Georgia (please!)!

Let MarkovFilter display from sweaty basements Tennessee!

Let MarkovFilter display from every PC and Mac of Mississippi. From every iPhone, every no name phone with wifi, let MarkovFilter display.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:17 AM on April 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


I am getting a little tired of certain mods dogging it at the expense of our community.

Seriously, man, at the rate they move I think it's time to get some of these mods new uniforms.
posted by The Straightener at 4:51 AM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


It'd be pretty funny if you did descend on Portland, OR, only to find that they have flown the coop for NYC this weekend!
posted by Grither at 5:07 AM on April 30, 2009


Oi, this gets worse all the time... do you mean to tell me that MarkovFilter is not functional while certain mods are riding in aeroplanes and hob knobbing with the hoi polloi? I think a certain site owner is going to be none to pleased when he reads about this.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:13 AM on April 30, 2009


Meatbomb - you can't 'ob-nob with the 'oi-poloi. You can only 'ob-nob with the nobs.

Now get it right, or I'll call the beak on yer.

/cockney-urchin-filter
posted by Jofus at 5:21 AM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Oi, this gets worse all the time... do you mean to tell me that MarkovFilter is not functional while certain mods are riding in aeroplanes and hob knobbing with the hoi polloi? I think a certain site owner is going to be none to pleased when he reads about this.

I know somebody who uses the passive/aggressive voice.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:23 AM on April 30, 2009


I thought this was going to be about the recent Craigslist Killer.
posted by jerseygirl at 5:27 AM on April 30, 2009


I think a MarkoffFilter would be a lot scarier, in a clean-cut, can't-believe-it's-him kinda way.
posted by Kattullus at 5:37 AM on April 30, 2009


You kids. When I was young we had to copy and paste random bits of text ourselves. We didn't have a "filter" to do it for us.
posted by Sailormom at 5:50 AM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Now I'm imaging the MarkovFilter being the McGuffin in some cross-country chase movie and they use the MarkovFilter for hilarious misunderstandings and hijinks.

.

I need I need more coffee.

Or less.
posted by The Whelk at 6:01 AM on April 30, 2009


Gawdon Bennet! Where did i' go? The communi'y needs dis. I need dis. You need dis. OK? Do I 'ear porkies? Lor' luv a duck! Surely not. Know what I mean?
posted by tellurian at 6:06 AM on April 30, 2009


"These sausages is mouldy!"
"Shaddap and drink yer gin!"
posted by Jofus at 6:13 AM on April 30, 2009


Shit, sorry. Link
posted by Jofus at 6:19 AM on April 30, 2009


User word clouds are gone too! I wanted to update mine a bit ago since it's my facebook profile picture and I'd like to believe that "spermicides" and "electro-pop" would no longer be the dominant words in the cloud.

Yeah, I'd really like to be able to believe that. Ahem.
posted by youarenothere at 6:24 AM on April 30, 2009


Someone ate my last plum.









FESS UP YOU BASTARD
posted by Joseph Gurl at 6:31 AM on April 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


Probably one of these people, in the library, with the candlestick.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:00 AM on April 30, 2009


You kids. When I was young we had to copy and paste random bits of text ourselves. We didn't have a "filter" to do it for us.

Oh, man. You're going to love the future. We're up to our fucking necks in filters. So much so that we need some kind of massive, all-encompassing, dare I say Meta-Filter.
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:06 AM on April 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


"You misunderstand me. I didn't say a filter – I said a philtre."
posted by ocherdraco at 7:32 AM on April 30, 2009


None of the mods have been around since like 8pm last night-- I'm pretty sure they're all still drunk or have been wiped out by the swine-flu riddled content on BaconFilter.

Anyway if they were here I'm pretty sure they would say:

"We're on April 17th and ten minutes. Ugh, of figuring out where this needs further discussion] [a few comments removed - quit joking, thanks] Hiya! Hiya! We're on a plan, folks, and runs about it, ever. Like burnmp3s said, we just plain wrong, so someone else is if people or if there's anything else is a big deal out where this podcast features recaps from around the site for the phrase "metafilter" without actually linking to meeting all y'all.The big deal out where this podcast features recaps from the last three weeks. It was recorded on the Mental Floss post about an hour and everyone at Gawker go out a meetup. mathowie will be in Ohio. [comments removed - quit joking, thanks] Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! We're in Long Beach, CA. There's no stopping this podcast features recaps from around the OP: We're in Ohio. [comments removed - quit joking, thanks] Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! We're in NYC soon (from Thurs. April 17th and I hope that clears stuff up for you, if people keep popping into Ask MeFi to meeting all y'all.The big deal out where this shit now.I'll be in charge of times a big deal out of a wild direction the Mental Floss post about the last three weeks. It was recorded on April 30th to explain every little deletion because it's a trend or if there's anything else is an hour and ironic sexism.] follow up from the phrase "metafilter" without actually linking to make a marker or going off in Ask MeFi to go to explain every little deletion because it's a plan, folks, and everyone at Gawker go out of "next weekend" is somewhere between ambiguous and TPS for me; Friday"

posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:41 AM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Someone ate my last plum."

They were in
the icebox.

They were so cold
and delicious
Suck it, hater.
posted by klangklangston at 8:15 AM on April 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Nope, we have a confirmed Jessamyn sighting at the scene of a fresh kill.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:16 AM on April 30, 2009


I have disabled
the MarkovFilter
that was on
metafiltr

and which
you were probably
using
for entertainment

Forgive me
I'm nobbing with
the hoi
and the polloi
posted by borkencode at 8:23 AM on April 30, 2009 [6 favorites]


What was MarkovFilter?
posted by ocherdraco at 8:27 AM on April 30, 2009


I'm sorry I parodied
That poem
that everybody else
Parodied

And which
You were already
attempting
to pardody

Somehow it
Has become some
Sort of
Metafilter reflex.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:27 AM on April 30, 2009 [8 favorites]


If you're jonesing Meatbomb and need a fix, here's a few from mine, which I had stored elsewhere:

Fair enough, good point. I can't tell you a lot.

This screams for some disease that your family members were killed while engaging in heavy make out sessions with him, I did not realize how close people's bits can get.

Thinking about it is also the equivalent of Saturn.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:32 AM on April 30, 2009


What the fuck is a MarkovFilter?

That's right, I'm not cool. Just answer the question, please.
posted by spicynuts at 8:36 AM on April 30, 2009


It was a cortex creation that mashed together a user's comments into incompressible goodness, see my comment for examples. Those sentences were pieced together from comments I had made across the site. It was based on Markov Chains (Google it!), which I know nothing about.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:48 AM on April 30, 2009


I'm very slightly around but basically on vacation.

spicynuts, it's an app I wrote that feeds users' comments into a special kind of table and then probabilistically generates new nonsense text from that.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:50 AM on April 30, 2009


A Markov text generator is a nifty bit of code that can generate new sentences that almost make sense based on a body of existing text. cortex put together a script that would run all of your past MetaFilter comments through a Markov generator, and spit out random sentences that sounded like something you would write.

On preview: yeah.
posted by pb (staff) at 8:53 AM on April 30, 2009


I read this as Zarkovfilter on the first pass, as in Gracie and Zarkov ...choking down industrial sized bong hits of DMT on Damiana and then beaming over to the nth dimension to talk to the self-transforming elf machines running the control board of all the universes. Except for the DMT part, it is an experience not unlike being a mod, one would assume.
posted by y2karl at 9:12 AM on April 30, 2009


Forgive me
I'm nobbing with
the hoi


the hoi?

Sorry, pet peeve.
posted by dersins at 9:27 AM on April 30, 2009


It was going to love the MarkovFilter display from comments into a hug and hob knobbing with wifi. Let MarkovFilter that can generate new sentences were already attempting to recall pb spending sleepless nights until our community. Crack that they have been wiped out where this gets worse all of existing text. Cortex creation that almost make sense based on a Markov Chains (Google it!), which you mean to love the control board of certain mods dogging it. What the coop for the selected text generator is not functional while engaging in a plan, folks, and spit out where this podcast features recaps from anywhere in Gracie and ironic sexism. Follow up to get it.
posted by txsebastien at 10:14 AM on April 30, 2009


You know, I think I miss the counter that used to be in the top right quadrant of MeFi pages where it said how many motherfuckers there was. I wrote a poem about it.

How many motherfuckers?
I don't know
the counter
it's just gone

And all the Questions
You asked
they're really stupid
It's not true

What they say
about
Stupid Questions

I flagged your
Last Post
posted by Mister_A at 10:29 AM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Slouching in a Cubicle on Matt Haughey's Website Metafilter.com

Over my head, I see the favorite button
Asleep in the gray brackets.
Flags flip like leaves in green shadow.
Down the page beneath the empty preview box,
The emails follow one another
Into the distances of the workday afternoon.
To my right,
In a field of desklamp between two memos,
The droppings of the last infodump,
Exported out into drool-stained pages.
I lean forward, as the evening darkens and comes on.
A chicken hawk floats over, looking for 4chan.
I have wasted my life.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:48 AM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


I Will Alarm Islamic Owls
by William Carlos Williams

I will be alarming
the Islamic owls
that are in
the barn

and which
you warned me
are very jittery
and susceptible to loud noises

Forgive me
they see so well in the dark
so feathery
and so dedicated to Allah
posted by Skot at 10:54 AM on April 30, 2009 [6 favorites]


Oh, see, when I see "plum," I think of Each Peach Pear Plum.

This is what comes from having small children.
posted by Chrysostom at 1:01 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


As for descending on Portland OR to hand out new uniforms to the mods, I checked with my local Stalkers Club. cortex is indeed missing and thought to have "gone east". Neither mathowie nor pb resides in Portland, and there is no report from their SC locals. It is believed that pb, jessamyn and vacapinta are on 24/7 duty.
posted by Cranberry at 1:20 PM on April 30, 2009


It is believed that pb, jessamyn and vacapinta are on 24/7 duty.

Are we at DEFCON 1?
posted by grobstein at 4:48 PM on April 30, 2009


the hoi?

Sorry, pet peeve.


It's idiomatic.

LAND, THE HOI!
posted by grobstein at 4:50 PM on April 30, 2009


new nonsense text

Nonsense? Au contraire.
posted by desuetude at 5:21 PM on April 30, 2009


All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.
posted by terrapin at 6:21 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


So I was wondering why the mods were in New York when I had a horrifying thought:

Metafilter has gone bankrupt and is being taken over by Fiat!
posted by lukemeister at 9:38 PM on April 30, 2009


I thought MetaFilter was run by Fiat, what with the reliability issues and old technology...



ICE BUUUURN!
posted by Mister_A at 7:09 AM on May 1, 2009


When you cut into the present the future leaks out.
posted by shoesfullofdust at 10:02 PM on May 4, 2009


No but seriously, hey Josh: is there any way this could come back? Or is there something about the nature of the new security environment that prevents this? I really love (loved?) this cool thing...
posted by Meatbomb at 12:20 AM on May 21, 2009


The problem at this point is with Perl runtime in a 64-bit windows environment, or something similarly broken-at-the-tool-level like that; pb and Matt understand the details, I just smile and nod.

So bringing it back shy of that being resolved would mean rewriting it, probably in CF to keep things kosher, which while probably doable would be something I don't even know how to start into. And telling pb to rewrite one of my esoteric toys in CF just because seems like about the worst use of his time I can imagine.

So, don't know exactly what we're looking at as far as time frame for it coming back. But I've suddenly started dicking around with Flash again, so maybe I can distract people with random shiny stuff. Hello world!.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:40 AM on May 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


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