Overthinking it June 9, 2009 4:23 AM Subscribe
An astonishing new product is poised to revolutionize the way you read Metafilter.
I don't know why this is on MetaTalk. I mean, it doesn't seem rela--
the Beanzawave
Oh. I see. Carry on.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:40 AM on June 9, 2009
the Beanzawave
Oh. I see. Carry on.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:40 AM on June 9, 2009
Oh, and now I see your post title. And you tag. I'm a little slow.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:41 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:41 AM on June 9, 2009
A Daily Mail story about radiation rather than immigration. How rare...
posted by i_cola at 4:54 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by i_cola at 4:54 AM on June 9, 2009
You need to open a window in here, HR.
posted by not_on_display at 4:59 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by not_on_display at 4:59 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
The future that I was promised is starting to arrive.
posted by Shohn at 5:08 AM on June 9, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by Shohn at 5:08 AM on June 9, 2009 [3 favorites]
1. This is for real?
2. Beanzawave? Turquoise? Did Heinz piss off their marketing department?
posted by Navelgazer at 5:21 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]
2. Beanzawave? Turquoise? Did Heinz piss off their marketing department?
posted by Navelgazer at 5:21 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]
It seems that the woman in the photograph is overthinking about how she ended up sitting opposite a guy who likes eating beans so much that he has a tiny portable microwave on his desk for the express purposes of eating beans. Also, that guy is not even looking at his beans. What the hell, guy?
posted by Kattullus at 5:54 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Kattullus at 5:54 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
But... you can't microwave metal, which is what cans are made of. And eating beans out of one of those plastic things is just dumb and misses the point of beans.
Well, if you buy one you're probably dumb anyway.
posted by dunkadunc at 6:12 AM on June 9, 2009
Well, if you buy one you're probably dumb anyway.
posted by dunkadunc at 6:12 AM on June 9, 2009
Navelgazer, the turquoise is actually the only explicable part of the whole idea. That's the color of the can, which seems to be the UK version of the Campbell's soup can.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:18 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:18 AM on June 9, 2009
£100 (!)
posted by Houstonian at 6:22 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by Houstonian at 6:22 AM on June 9, 2009
Shamelessly stolen from the Sheinhardt Wig Company.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 6:44 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
This Beanzawave, it vibrates the molecules inside the beans?
posted by educatedslacker at 6:49 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by educatedslacker at 6:49 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
I like beans and all...but I'm not sure I like them enough to have a little beanzawave sitting on my desk. Can I use it to nuke other things? Like my coffeezawave? Or my co-workerzawave?
posted by rand at 6:50 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by rand at 6:50 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
Does anyone have a good recipe for British baked beans? I've decided I like the tomato-y flavor a lot better than the super-sweet beans I'm used to in the States.
posted by backseatpilot at 6:51 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by backseatpilot at 6:51 AM on June 9, 2009
Here comes the funcooker!
posted by sourwookie at 6:53 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by sourwookie at 6:53 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
they knew what a "Hot Richard" was?
posted by killy willy at 7:08 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by killy willy at 7:08 AM on June 9, 2009
backseatpilot: "Does anyone have a good recipe for British baked beans? I've decided I like the tomato-y flavor a lot better than the super-sweet beans I'm used to in the States."
Roger Daltrey has your recipe right here.
posted by not_on_display at 7:09 AM on June 9, 2009
Roger Daltrey has your recipe right here.
posted by not_on_display at 7:09 AM on June 9, 2009
Buying one of these and not putting a sticker on it that says "Fart Machine" with little custom-hotrod flames coming out the side seems like a violation of some sort of unspoken guideline.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:02 AM on June 9, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:02 AM on June 9, 2009 [5 favorites]
Just stay out from behind James Skeates.
posted by educatedslacker at 8:07 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by educatedslacker at 8:07 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
But, it's categorically not a plate of beans, it's a little microwavable receptacle of beans! This, as we all know, is impossible to overthink.
posted by ob at 8:43 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by ob at 8:43 AM on June 9, 2009
I think I've seen this already and it was called the FunCooker.
posted by availablelight at 8:54 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by availablelight at 8:54 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
1. This is for real?
No, this is not for real. Maximum USB power output is under 5W and assuming the thermal properties of beans are similar to water, you would need on the order of 750W to heat up a 200g container of beans by 50°C in 60 seconds, assuming 100% efficiency in the conversion of electric power to heat in the beans.
There's admittedly a lot of slop in those numbers, but things are out of whack by a factor of at least 100.
posted by cardboard at 9:13 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]
No, this is not for real. Maximum USB power output is under 5W and assuming the thermal properties of beans are similar to water, you would need on the order of 750W to heat up a 200g container of beans by 50°C in 60 seconds, assuming 100% efficiency in the conversion of electric power to heat in the beans.
There's admittedly a lot of slop in those numbers, but things are out of whack by a factor of at least 100.
posted by cardboard at 9:13 AM on June 9, 2009 [4 favorites]
om technomnomnomnology.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 9:38 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 9:38 AM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]
How did I know I would see this here?
As cardboard notes there's not enough power on a USB port to run a microwave.
However, computers and microwave ovens don't mix well. Most microwave ovens leak enough radiation they'll knock you off of your wireless connection if the laptop is close enough to the microwave. And if the microwave is really leaky it may physically damage hardware or induce enough electrical energy in the circuitry it'll cause spontaneous reboots.
I discovered this by accident a few years ago when cooking one day, and I had my laptop on top of a rather old microwave. When I turned on the microwave my laptop made a weird, glitchy noise through the speakers then rebooted, and was noticeably flakier ever after.
posted by loquacious at 9:46 AM on June 9, 2009
As cardboard notes there's not enough power on a USB port to run a microwave.
However, computers and microwave ovens don't mix well. Most microwave ovens leak enough radiation they'll knock you off of your wireless connection if the laptop is close enough to the microwave. And if the microwave is really leaky it may physically damage hardware or induce enough electrical energy in the circuitry it'll cause spontaneous reboots.
I discovered this by accident a few years ago when cooking one day, and I had my laptop on top of a rather old microwave. When I turned on the microwave my laptop made a weird, glitchy noise through the speakers then rebooted, and was noticeably flakier ever after.
posted by loquacious at 9:46 AM on June 9, 2009
the key breakthrough is the use of a combination of mobile phone radio frequencies to create the heat
Mobile phone radio frequencies?
posted by ook at 10:02 AM on June 9, 2009
Mobile phone radio frequencies?
posted by ook at 10:02 AM on June 9, 2009
Lets not leap into this. We need to stop and consider things first.
posted by Artw at 10:05 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by Artw at 10:05 AM on June 9, 2009
Maximum USB power output is under 5W and assuming the thermal properties of beans are similar to water
Get that person a plate, stat.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:09 AM on June 9, 2009
Get that person a plate, stat.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:09 AM on June 9, 2009
loquacious, is that so? Is it possible that microwave radiation killed my USB optical (non-wireless) mouse?
posted by Night_owl at 10:11 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by Night_owl at 10:11 AM on June 9, 2009
Yes, yes, yes!!! A miniature microwave to sit next to the millions of oh-so-durable laptops so someone who's already fatigued and distracted can heat up a plate of sticky beans and eat while they work.
posted by mrmojoflying at 10:21 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mrmojoflying at 10:21 AM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]
This will make un-chaining the contract workers less of a tedious time-waster.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:25 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:25 AM on June 9, 2009
I don't see how this is possible....and yet, Gordon Andrews really does exist, and really does specialize in microwaves. Also, it's not April 1.
I....um....*cough*
Maybe it just uses USB to trickle-charge a battery bank?
posted by aramaic at 10:58 AM on June 9, 2009
I....um....*cough*
Maybe it just uses USB to trickle-charge a battery bank?
posted by aramaic at 10:58 AM on June 9, 2009
It may not have batteries:
'There is the option of powering it with lithium ion batteries that would make it completely portable, which would be a help to fishermen, campers or sportsmen.'
Perhaps there is a capacitor, or it heats really, really slowly.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:39 AM on June 9, 2009
'There is the option of powering it with lithium ion batteries that would make it completely portable, which would be a help to fishermen, campers or sportsmen.'
Perhaps there is a capacitor, or it heats really, really slowly.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:39 AM on June 9, 2009
Can I get it in [Pepsi] blue?
posted by Pollomacho at 11:59 AM on June 9, 2009
posted by Pollomacho at 11:59 AM on June 9, 2009
But... you can't microwave metalThis has been covered previously.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:18 PM on June 9, 2009
But... you can't microwave metal
This has been covered previously.
You know what is really fun to microwave? Four letters...DVDs.
posted by mrmojoflying at 1:36 PM on June 9, 2009
This has been covered previously.
You know what is really fun to microwave? Four letters...DVDs.
posted by mrmojoflying at 1:36 PM on June 9, 2009
Seth Finkelstein investigates.
The USB port is used for control purposes only. Oven is powered by appropriate sized Lithium-ion batteries, which can be mains supplied and/or recharged. It is the mobile phone frequencies that utilise prior long-term existing 900MHz (industrial) and 2450MHz (consumer) ISM approved microwave oven frequencies. I assure you we have sufficient power to effectively heat small type hand-snack food products.
Thanks your concern and interest ... Gordon Andrews
posted by Horace Rumpole at 2:41 PM on June 9, 2009
The USB port is used for control purposes only. Oven is powered by appropriate sized Lithium-ion batteries, which can be mains supplied and/or recharged. It is the mobile phone frequencies that utilise prior long-term existing 900MHz (industrial) and 2450MHz (consumer) ISM approved microwave oven frequencies. I assure you we have sufficient power to effectively heat small type hand-snack food products.
Thanks your concern and interest ... Gordon Andrews
posted by Horace Rumpole at 2:41 PM on June 9, 2009
Meanwhile my beans, the length of whose rows, added together, was seven miles already planted, were impatient to be hoed, for the earliest had grown considerably before the latest were in the ground; indeed they were not easily to be put off. What was the meaning of this so steady and self-respecting, this small Herculean labor, I knew not. I came to love my rows, my beans, though so many more than I wanted. They attached me to the earth, and so I got strength like Antaeus. But why should I raise them? Only Heaven knows. This was my curious labor all summer, -- to make this portion of the earth's surface, which had yielded only cinquefoil, blackberries, johnswort, and the like, before, sweet wild fruits and pleasant flowers, produce instead this pulse. What shall I learn of beans or beans of me? I cherish them, I hoe them, early and late I have an eye to them; and this is my day's work. It is a fine broad leaf to look on. My auxiliaries are the dews and rains which water this dry soil, and what fertility is in the soil itself, which for the most part is lean and effete. My enemies are worms, cool days, and most of all woodchucks. The last have nibbled for me a quarter of an acre clean. But what right had I to oust johnswort and the rest, and break up their ancient herb garden? Soon, however, the remaining beans will be too tough for them, and go forward to meet new foes.
posted by jenkinsEar at 2:44 PM on June 9, 2009
posted by jenkinsEar at 2:44 PM on June 9, 2009
Is this where debate the merits of European "Baked Beans" vs. actual real Baked Beans? Beans in tomato sauce? That's fine in its own way, but it should be clearly labeled "BEANS IN TOMATO SAUCE" and not "Baked Beans" for those of us who grew up in close enough proximity to Beantown that we can still remember the Great Molasses Disaster. That's right. People DIED for *real* Baked Beans!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:18 PM on June 9, 2009
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:18 PM on June 9, 2009
Meanwhile my beans, the length of whose rows, added together, was seven miles already planted, were impatient to be hoed
I'm sorry. The vague euphemism post is four up.
posted by elfgirl at 4:22 PM on June 9, 2009
I'm sorry. The vague euphemism post is four up.
posted by elfgirl at 4:22 PM on June 9, 2009
small type hand-snack food products
eeeeeewwwww...snack food made out of hands? I think I'll stick to beans, thanks.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 4:42 PM on June 9, 2009
eeeeeewwwww...snack food made out of hands? I think I'll stick to beans, thanks.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 4:42 PM on June 9, 2009
I'd bet money there's a Japanese snack food that looks like tiny human hands.
/off to Uijamaya to try and score some. Nom nom nom Japan snacks.
posted by Artw at 4:45 PM on June 9, 2009
/off to Uijamaya to try and score some. Nom nom nom Japan snacks.
posted by Artw at 4:45 PM on June 9, 2009
Natto.
Although it just smells like dismembered human hands that have been left out in the sun to rot for a really long time.
posted by elfgirl at 5:03 PM on June 9, 2009
Although it just smells like dismembered human hands that have been left out in the sun to rot for a really long time.
posted by elfgirl at 5:03 PM on June 9, 2009
The USB port is used for control purposes only.
In light of revised technical information direct from the source (completely at odds with what was written in the article), I hereby withdraw my thermodynamic objections.
posted by cardboard at 5:52 PM on June 9, 2009
In light of revised technical information direct from the source (completely at odds with what was written in the article), I hereby withdraw my thermodynamic objections.
posted by cardboard at 5:52 PM on June 9, 2009
I'm gonna have to think this one over.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:18 PM on June 9, 2009
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:18 PM on June 9, 2009
For what possible reason would it need a USB interface?
Does it tweet the deets of your beany eats?
posted by blenderfish at 7:48 PM on June 9, 2009
Does it tweet the deets of your beany eats?
posted by blenderfish at 7:48 PM on June 9, 2009
While your chair tweets the deets of your subsequent fweets?
posted by the latin mouse at 12:33 AM on June 10, 2009
posted by the latin mouse at 12:33 AM on June 10, 2009
For American palates, can it heat one of those little containers of Chef Boyardee Beefaroni? Or Dinty Moore Stew? Can they redesign it to be the right shape to fit a ... (wait for it) ... HO-O-O-OT POCKET?!? (You heard that in Jim Gaffigan's voice, didn't you?)
posted by wendell at 12:23 PM on June 10, 2009
posted by wendell at 12:23 PM on June 10, 2009
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posted by Phanx at 4:37 AM on June 9, 2009