Fucking Wannabe.

July 27, 2009 7:23 AM

This is NOT me.

Whoever it is it's kind of sad, although they're welcome to hate me if they want, but I think we can agree that impersonating someone to harass others is kind of beyond the pale.

posted by jonmc to Etiquette/Policy at 7:23 AM (246 comments total)

How do I know this is you? Say something only jonmc would say.
posted by found missing at 7:31 AM on July 27, 2009

morrisseysuckszoftigwomenrulebeerdictatorsdeepfriedfoodetc...
posted by jonmc at 7:32 AM on July 27, 2009 [19 favorites]

Here's Twitter's policy on impersonation.

Some relevant bits:

Pretending to be another person or business as entertainment or in order to deceive is impersonation. Non-parody impersonation is a violation of the TOS, specifically article 4 which states:

4. You must not abuse, harass, threaten, impersonate or intimidate other Twitter users.

The standard for defining parody is, "would a reasonable person be aware that it's a joke." An account may be guilty of impersonation if it confuses or misleads others—accounts with the clear INTENT to confuse or mislead will be permanently suspended.

...

Parody impersonation accounts are allowed to exist. The profile information on a parody account must make it obvious that the profile is fake, or it is subject to removal from Twitter.com. If it is not evident from viewing the profile that it is a joke, it is considered non-parody impersonation. Non-parody impersonation accounts may be permanently suspended for Terms of Service violations.

posted by ocherdraco at 7:34 AM on July 27, 2009

Everybody knows that jonmc's safeword is "Scotch eggs."
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:34 AM on July 27, 2009

I thought his safeword was "disco sux"?
posted by item at 7:35 AM on July 27, 2009

ocherdraco, I emailed the twitter people awhile back and never heard back. I just want it made clear that it's not me and to expose the person doing it as a cowardly jerk.
posted by jonmc at 7:36 AM on July 27, 2009

Jesus, that twitter account has been going since 2007. That's some dedication there.

Did you bully anyone in high school, jonmc? Or kill any gypsies?
posted by Dr-Baa at 7:37 AM on July 27, 2009

This is NOT me.
posted by ColdChef at 7:37 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is not me, circa 2 years ago.
posted by Afroblanco at 7:40 AM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

This is NOT Mi-guel.
posted by ColdChef at 7:42 AM on July 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

To tell the truth, it's not the insults to me that bother me so much (hell, it's kind of flattering that they spend so much time thinking of me, they must have a crush..), it's more stuff like the latest tweet, where he's using my name to harass other people.
posted by jonmc at 7:43 AM on July 27, 2009

I just want it made clear that it's not me and to expose the person doing it as a cowardly jerk.

I think it's clear that it's not you. Unfortunately, waaaay more people are going to know about it now than did before you posted this.
posted by amro at 7:44 AM on July 27, 2009

Cross-posed at meta.twitter.com?
posted by DU at 7:45 AM on July 27, 2009

Good, amro. Then maybe this jackass will get the message that the entire community thinks he's a lame loser.
posted by jonmc at 7:46 AM on July 27, 2009

This is HOT bee.
posted by fire&wings at 7:46 AM on July 27, 2009

Huh, my not-me is over there too. With only two updates but still has 3 followers.
posted by DU at 7:48 AM on July 27, 2009

I do not play football for Detroit.
posted by Loto at 7:49 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not me either.
posted by wendell at 7:51 AM on July 27, 2009

This is NOT a pipe.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:52 AM on July 27, 2009 [9 favorites]

I'm not dead. You are thinking of the other one.
posted by Generalissimo Francisco Franco at 10:52 AM on July 27 [+] [!]
posted by DU at 7:52 AM on July 27, 2009

Is this gonna be like the marriage thread, where we all make not-mes for everyone here?

I'm still available
posted by echo target at 7:53 AM on July 27, 2009

Perhaps Mr. Jon M. Chowder uses an abbreviation of his name that is similar to yours?
posted by blue_beetle at 7:55 AM on July 27, 2009

Do you realize how many people named Jon McSomething there could be in the world? Why would anybody seeing this particular Twitter feed assume that it's you?
posted by jbickers at 7:58 AM on July 27, 2009 [4 favorites]

It looks like several actual mefites follow that twitter account - unless they are all fake, too.
posted by pinky at 7:58 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

My friend had an impersonator who used her full name as the user name (my friend's real account was just her first name) and every update was a mean-spirited dig at my friend ("I really need to lose 15 pounds", "I'm going to have to put my sick cat to sleep soon!") and Twitter did nothing. They ignored her emails for a week or more and then when they wrote back it was just to say oh well, what we can we do? Despite this person using her full name and all the details of her life to fuck with her.

There's also the whole issue where you can use anyone's email address to create a Twitter account. Which is kind of an insanely easy problem to fix that they seem to be ignoring.
posted by kate blank at 7:58 AM on July 27, 2009

The Joint Organization for Numismatists and Money Collectors
posted by Pollomacho at 8:00 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not me, unless someone can help me hack the account.
posted by Eideteker at 8:01 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not me (and I'm not jonmc either).

Sisko ducks?
posted by hangashore at 8:01 AM on July 27, 2009

I don't get it, what has a user called jonmc on twitter got to do a user on metafilter called jonmc, apart from having the same username?

It's not like it's unusual for that to happen; I for one am not a 27 year old hispanic wrestler and single father from Tacoma, Washington.
posted by Mike1024 at 8:02 AM on July 27, 2009 [4 favorites]

Why would anybody seeing this particular Twitter feed assume that it's you?

Did you not see the frequent "I am drunk" posts?
posted by terrapin at 8:02 AM on July 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

Wow, after scanning that twitter feed, I suddenly feel like way less of a loser...today.
posted by milarepa at 8:03 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not me.
posted by Jofus at 8:03 AM on July 27, 2009

Mike1024: It's not like it's unusual for that to happen; I for one am not a 27 year old hispanic wrestler and single father from Tacoma, Washington.

Pics or it happened.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:03 AM on July 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

Holy cow ColdChef is Korean? I had no idea!
posted by gomichild at 8:04 AM on July 27, 2009

Do you realize how many people named Jon McSomething there could be in the world? Why would anybody seeing this particular Twitter feed assume that it's you?

If you're at all familiar with jonmc on MetaFilter, it's clear that this Twitter account is rather cruelly taking the piss. And if you search for 'jonmc' on Google, you'll find our jonmc.
posted by chrismear at 8:05 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not a test.
posted by jbickers at 8:05 AM on July 27, 2009

morrisseysuckszoftigwomenrulebeerdictatorsdeepfriedfoodetc...

On the one hand, it passes the Dictators test. On the other hand, no mention of the Mets? The jury is still out.
posted by Mister_A at 8:06 AM on July 27, 2009

This is NOT three
posted by Jofus at 8:06 AM on July 27, 2009

> This is NOT a pipe.

Neither is this.
posted by bjrn at 8:06 AM on July 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

Also: This is not me.
posted by bjrn at 8:07 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not_me.
posted by item at 8:07 AM on July 27, 2009

Piss is HOT pee.
posted by Jofus at 8:09 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

I wonder how many people here can be turned into caricature twitter accounts? And yeah, this is obviously some dude mocking jonmc. All it needs is a tweet about how we're all racist. (Or am I mixing people up in my brains?)
posted by chunking express at 8:09 AM on July 27, 2009

Do you realize how many people named Jon McSomething there could be in the world?

who live in New York City, like beer and curvy women, and recently sufferered a broken foot?
posted by jonmc at 8:09 AM on July 27, 2009

I thought it was kind of funny, and yes, flattering. No, I did not create it.

"he's using my name to harass other people"

He/She doesn't mention MeFi in any of the tweets, right? So it's not connected to your username here. It could easily be any of the other million jonmc's out there, say like this nice gentleman from Texas, whose bio includes:

"My Occupation: Grappling
Interests: Grappling and Spicy food
Signature: Always up for cardio and strength training work outs outside the gym."
posted by HopperFan at 8:09 AM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

This is not a double.
posted by Eideteker at 8:10 AM on July 27, 2009

Yeah, that is definitely in the "not cool, sort of sad" region of internet stalking/harassment. I think you have the right idea, Jon - point out that you're aware of what's going on, isolate yourself, and don't otherwise engage.
posted by muddgirl at 8:10 AM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

This is not me either.
posted by wendell at 8:10 AM on July 27, 2009

OK, amend that, any of the million jonmc's in NYC.
posted by HopperFan at 8:10 AM on July 27, 2009

Oh, I see now ... read the tweets more closely. That does suck. I look forward to watching the MeFi detective squad ferret out who this is.
posted by jbickers at 8:10 AM on July 27, 2009

This is me.
posted by gman at 8:11 AM on July 27, 2009

(also, this would all be forgivably if the anoynamous twit was even a little bit funny. This guys humor gland was obviously damaged in a childhood accident.
posted by jonmc at 8:11 AM on July 27, 2009

We are all jonmc.
posted by Eideteker at 8:11 AM on July 27, 2009 [4 favorites]

Not me.

(How could there be more than one moron in the world who thought this was a clever username?)


Jon, you've been stewing about this a while, huh?
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:12 AM on July 27, 2009

Not me.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:13 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

The 'box' on Twitter is me. But I never post anything.
posted by box at 8:14 AM on July 27, 2009

Oh god, why did this post remind me of Static X.
posted by azarbayejani at 8:14 AM on July 27, 2009

This is also NOT me.
posted by ColdChef at 8:15 AM on July 27, 2009

Is this post is attempting to make this tweet true?
posted by DU at 8:15 AM on July 27, 2009

CL, I've known about it for awhile, yes, and I was upset, but I've also had a bunch of other issues to deal with over the past couple of months, and I've been dealing with them. And no, it's not why I took a MeFi vacatuion, but it didn't help.
posted by jonmc at 8:16 AM on July 27, 2009

Forgive me, I'm not me today.
posted by found missing at 8:16 AM on July 27, 2009

This is Rot Free.
posted by JeffK at 8:18 AM on July 27, 2009

We are all jonmc.

....Actually, I'm not -- I'm Spartacus.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:19 AM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

Dot Tree
posted by JeffK at 8:21 AM on July 27, 2009

It's clearly a dig a jonmc, and kind of a lame one at that. Which one of you sad bastards did it?

Also, the only way Twitter will fix this is if jonmc goes out and does something drastic to catapult himself to celebrity status so he can get a "verified account".
posted by Burhanistan at 8:22 AM on July 27, 2009

According to GIS, there is a reasonable chance that this is me, which is cool because I'm way more photogenic than I would have thought.
posted by quin at 8:23 AM on July 27, 2009

This is Not Me.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:23 AM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

Bot Glee
posted by JeffK at 8:24 AM on July 27, 2009

No, no, I'M Spartacus!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:25 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Also, the only way Twitter will fix this is if jonmc goes out and does something drastic to catapult himself to celebrity status so he can get a "verified account".

*considers having self catapulted from Triborough Bridge in Juggalo outfit*
*reconsiders*
posted by jonmc at 8:25 AM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

...Or kill any gypsies?
posted by Dr-Baa

That's the funniest thing I've read in a few days. But I had kind of a shitty weekend, so maybe I'm reaching for some laughs.
posted by marxchivist at 8:28 AM on July 27, 2009

This is Not Me.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:28 AM on July 27, 2009

Dammit, shakespeherian!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:29 AM on July 27, 2009

Ich bin ein jonmc.
posted by The Deej at 8:29 AM on July 27, 2009

Man, I want to know who the hell did this. I've never seen anybody else use this name, so someone must be trying to clown me. They're obviously not even using it to update their status. Of course, Twitter doesn't give you any way to send messages to people, so I don't have any way to ask them to stop. What a load of BS. Fuck twitter.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:31 AM on July 27, 2009

I am Spartacus.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:35 AM on July 27, 2009

I emailed the twitter people awhile back and never heard back.

Battle not with Twitter lest ye become a twit and if you gaze into the bottle that probably means you're not drunk enough yet.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:41 AM on July 27, 2009

"....Actually, I'm not -- I'm Spartacus."

But Spartacus is jonmc.
posted by Eideteker at 8:41 AM on July 27, 2009

Horace Rumpole: Dammit, shakespeherian!

I get that a lot.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:46 AM on July 27, 2009

I reported the jonmc impersonation to twitter. We'll see if anything is done.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:49 AM on July 27, 2009

Looks like he's on to you.
posted by bwanabetty at 8:50 AM on July 27, 2009

thanx, cjorg. I actually think that being derided by his peers here at meFi might be an even worse punishment.
posted by jonmc at 8:51 AM on July 27, 2009

jonmc writes "like beer and curvy women,"

Who doesn't?

Well actually I don't drink. But I'm sure I'd love beer if I did. It seems pretty popular.
posted by Mitheral at 8:52 AM on July 27, 2009

This is me writing this right here, I promise.

Nice to see you again, jonmc, even if it's in a meTa you had to make about a lame (metaphorically, not literally, like you, although I hope you are no longer literally lame!) dork who's pretending to be you on twitter.

Anyway. Hope you're doing better. Come around some time and have some pie, okay?
posted by rtha at 8:53 AM on July 27, 2009

I notice that it's 99% gone now. Crawl back under the bridge, chickenshit.
posted by jonmc at 8:55 AM on July 27, 2009

Mrs. and I are TOT FREE.
posted by everichon at 8:56 AM on July 27, 2009

10 messages calling me a loser, 7 threatening to find me, 5 wanting to buy me a beer, all from a website I've never heard of.

Don't fuck with my posse, yo.
posted by jonmc at 8:57 AM on July 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

This man bought ghee.
posted by applemeat at 8:57 AM on July 27, 2009

Guys, this is a lot to take in. Over the last year, I've thought I had become quite popular on Metafilter via Twitter. Admittedly, I had noticed some disparity between the two sites. For instance, it was a little peculiar no one mentioned my absence in regards to the 10th party when everyone seemed so excited about meeting me on Twitter. And it was a little odd that coldchef insisted on speaking in his native tongue. I disregarded these little warnings thinking everyone was just having a laugh and joshing with me. But I see now, I've been living a lie. I've never known any of you.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:02 AM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

Isn't Evan a member of MeFi?

And for the record... This is NOT me. Nor is this. Nor is this. MeFi and SpoFi are the only places I use the jg moniker.
posted by jerseygirl at 9:06 AM on July 27, 2009

"5 wanting to buy me a beer" at least your current posse count outnumbers the haters. That's all any of us can ever aspire to.
posted by HopperFan at 9:10 AM on July 27, 2009

It's been altered now to look like it wasn't griefing jon, which it clearly was.
posted by Mid at 9:10 AM on July 27, 2009

That man, that's not me
I go, where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the liffey
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here
...
posted by filthy light thief at 9:11 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not me.

I'm kind of impressed that there's another gfm out there. I'm also kind of impressed that he seems to be an old man. Maybe we ARE the same person.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:12 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Yeah, and if he'd never heard of the site, how did he know about this thread? People hit him with @replies?
posted by cjorgensen at 9:13 AM on July 27, 2009

Now he's pretending he never heard of Metafilter and jonmc? That's lame- once you're called out, either give up the ghost entirely or go into full overload.
posted by spaltavian at 9:18 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Thanks, guys. Good work. I have an appointment. Later (around 4pm, I'll be here). Have fun.
posted by jonmc at 9:20 AM on July 27, 2009

Not me. Not even a tiny little bit. Which, I guess, means that I won't be using twitter. I feel okay about that.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:24 AM on July 27, 2009

I only see one @ reply, and that was from 4 days ago. DMs or direct email? I see he's updated his name to say "Jon McDougal," too.
posted by HopperFan at 9:26 AM on July 27, 2009

Not me. Not even a tiny little bit. Which, I guess, means that I won't be using twitter.

I didn't get the memo that every other online profile we create had to have the same name as our Metafilter profile.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:43 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not me.
posted by tizzie at 9:44 AM on July 27, 2009

This is bizarre.
posted by lazaruslong at 9:50 AM on July 27, 2009

You can only send a DM to people who are following you, so unless Budweiser is clueing him in...same with email. No way to send him an email, since he doesn't list it in his profile.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:50 AM on July 27, 2009

This is NOT me. This IS me.
posted by EatTheWeak at 9:52 AM on July 27, 2009

Someone's even gone through the trouble of using a profile picture with an uncanny resemblance to me.
posted by gman at 9:53 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

I didn't get the memo that every other online profile we create had to have the same name as our Metafilter profile.

Probably because I didn't know which name to send it to.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:54 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Tempest in a teacup Borasco in a beer mug.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:57 AM on July 27, 2009

10 messages calling me a loser, 7 threatening to find me, 5 wanting to buy me a bee

Four that wanna own me, two that wanna stone me, one says she's a friend of mine
posted by hangashore at 9:57 AM on July 27, 2009 [6 favorites]

This tedw doesn't even live on the same side of the country as me. Nor does this one. This one uses the same kind of computer, but is still not me. This one plays games more than I do.
posted by TedW at 9:58 AM on July 27, 2009

I am, as far as I know, the only me.
posted by ocherdraco at 9:59 AM on July 27, 2009

And a partridge in a pear tree.
posted by The Deej at 10:00 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not me.
posted by grateful at 10:00 AM on July 27, 2009

I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.
posted by CunningLinguist at 10:02 AM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

99 problems but a tweet ain't one.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:05 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

First the Ayatollah, now jonmc....feel the wrath of twitter!


In all seriousness, it's twitter. TWITTER. For approximately 99% of the time since its inception, it's been nothing but an inane fount of self centerism, wrapped around a philosophy that somewhere, someone hungers for such mundane updates as "Having coffee now!" and "OMG, I think I saw someone who looked liked Hurley from Lost!" This is the equivalent of some idiot carving a bawdy, grammatically incorrect note on the stall of a bathroom and signing it with the name of their chosen victim, then walking away laughing at their awesome brilliance at destroying said victim's reputation.


In short. Let's move on. Close this thread. It's pointless and ridiculous.
posted by Atreides at 10:06 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

So, I've just gotten a mefi mail letting me know, among other things, that the person who sent the mail "heard it was me" who did the twitter thing.

I have made no secret in the past of the fact that I find jonmc's schtick tiresome in the extreme-- and his behavior in this thread is an excellent example of why ("Don't fuck with my posse, yo"? Really?) but I would like to state this categorically and without qualification or reservation:

I had absolutely nothing to do with this twitter feed, and did not even know it existed until jonmc drew attention to it.

I read it earlier this morning, and found it fairly on-point and somewhat amusing, albeit extremely mean-spirited, but I had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with its creation.
posted by dersins at 10:06 AM on July 27, 2009

This is gonna hurt Twitter's chances at the Nobel Peace Prize.
posted by gman at 10:08 AM on July 27, 2009

The far far far more pressing twitter issue today is: what will AKGovSarahPalin morph into? You know she isn't going to stop putting the twit in twitter.
posted by CunningLinguist at 10:14 AM on July 27, 2009

Not me.
posted by Miko at 10:15 AM on July 27, 2009

You know she isn't going to stop putting the twit in twitter.

She resigned as governor specifically to devote more time to posting updates to Twitter and Facebook. By 2012 she'll have an extensive online historical presence to attest to the fact that she can move the country forward or something.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:17 AM on July 27, 2009

In all seriousness, it's twitter. TWITTER. For approximately 99% of the time since its inception, it's been nothing but an inane fount of self centerism, wrapped around a philosophy that somewhere, someone hungers for such mundane updates as "Having coffee now!" and "OMG, I think I saw someone who looked liked Hurley from Lost!" This is the equivalent of some idiot carving a bawdy, grammatically incorrect note on the stall of a bathroom and signing it with the name of their chosen victim, then walking away laughing at their awesome brilliance at destroying said victim's reputation.

No, it's really not. As much as even I am becoming tired of playing the role of Defender of Twitter, it is even more tiring to see the same tired criticism being levelled time and again.

I'm not sure what methodology you used to get your 99% figure, but I am pretty sure that terrorist victims in Mumbai, protestors in Iran, Repubs in Congress, and people getting Malaria nets from Ashton Kutcher / Demi Moore / Oprah would disagree with you.

As for the mundanity aspect of Twitter, please read this.

My link machine, it is fixed


Twitter is not great for you. This does not mean it is not great.
posted by lazaruslong at 10:19 AM on July 27, 2009 [12 favorites]

And just for the record, Twitter's meaningfulness should already be self-evident. If this douchebag had created an account to mock jonmc on a truly useless service, we wouldn't be discussing it here. As it is, Twitter is becoming so pervasive that it is totally reasonable to make a fuss over it. This fuckstick should get booted off the internets.
posted by lazaruslong at 10:26 AM on July 27, 2009

jonmc, Twitter is a joke and will be tomorrow's pets.com soon enough. So I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm just glad you're back, even if the circumstances suck.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:31 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is not me.
posted by pianomover at 10:42 AM on July 27, 2009

Repubs in Congress

Though, perhaps its better for them if there's some sort of filter between their mouths and the people
posted by scrutiny at 10:47 AM on July 27, 2009

Oh, brother. Another jonmc thread all about not himself.
posted by pracowity at 10:49 AM on July 27, 2009

Really sorry to see that.

By the way, great meeting you at the meetup and hope to see you around again.
posted by kathrineg at 10:54 AM on July 27, 2009

Not me.

Totally not.

Especially not that Star Trek tweet.

I mean, seriously, would I say that?
posted by elfgirl at 10:54 AM on July 27, 2009

Account is now locked - request only.
posted by Mid at 10:55 AM on July 27, 2009

This is not me.

Though I do have a lot of pretenders

Right.
Here.
On.
Metafilter!
posted by grateful at 10:59 AM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Here's me. I dunno, I dunno.
posted by boo_radley at 11:05 AM on July 27, 2009

Dobbs killed Victory Shag because of an online impersonator. The guy was picking up women and then stiffing them and Dobbs was getting the angry emails. Police were involved but couldn't do anything. Now whenever a new system appears, he snags his name there even if he hates the system. Like Twitter.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 11:08 AM on July 27, 2009

This is MOST DEFINITELY not me.

This is me, infinitely less exciting.
posted by mrbill at 11:10 AM on July 27, 2009

Not me (and lord is he dull; "Is it 5 o'clock already? My goodness, where does the time go?" and "Eating leftover homemade pizza"? Really?)
posted by davejay at 11:26 AM on July 27, 2009

OH MY GOD THERE IS A NOT ME TOO.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:27 AM on July 27, 2009

This is NOT me.
This is NOT me.
This is NOT me.

among others.
posted by krautland at 11:28 AM on July 27, 2009

Since we're talking about Twitter, I've gotta know- what's the deal with this? we must have shit in someone's cereal hard.
posted by potch at 11:30 AM on July 27, 2009

AstroZombie, stop complaining and go do your homework.
posted by JoanArkham at 11:31 AM on July 27, 2009 [4 favorites]

Now whenever a new system appears, he snags his name there even if he hates the system.

I've always done that too. My twitter account dates from September 2006. I hated twitter but I grabbed twitter.com/vacapinta Only took a second.
posted by vacapinta at 11:33 AM on July 27, 2009

Christ, does every MeTa thread have to be about jonmc?



Oh, wait.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 11:33 AM on July 27, 2009

Not me.
posted by VikingSword at 11:34 AM on July 27, 2009

Since we're talking about Twitter, I've gotta know- what's the deal with this? we must have shit in someone's cereal hard.

I'm not seeing any mefi specific twats there. What's the connection?
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:36 AM on July 27, 2009

Twitter says I have to be jonmc or his legal representative to get the account yanked.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:40 AM on July 27, 2009

Not me.
posted by Mister_A at 11:41 AM on July 27, 2009

I'm not seeing any mefi specific twats there. What's the connection?

Look a little harder. I have an ideea of who it is but I'm not sharing.
posted by item at 11:41 AM on July 27, 2009

Now whenever a new system appears, he snags his name there even if he hates the system.

I do that with my real name, but always forget various screen names.
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:43 AM on July 27, 2009

...and that's some right Mayberry porno there, Mister_A. You sure it's not you?
posted by item at 11:43 AM on July 27, 2009

This IS me. Warning: I am boring.

Twitter search doesn't show any relevant @-replies. The Google cache still has the obviously-directed-at-our-jonmc insults.
posted by Pronoiac at 11:45 AM on July 27, 2009

Hi jonmc! Nice to see you back!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:58 AM on July 27, 2009

Well I searched for me and found this site I seem to have been posting to. Now my post from this morning is gone but Miko's is up. So I guess he's not me any more but is Miko now. Way to trade up, link stealing dude!
posted by shothotbot at 11:59 AM on July 27, 2009

It also says, "Also, not Jonmc from metafilter. I'm better looking," now. Not sure if that was there before.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 12:12 PM on July 27, 2009

And he's not my spouse either.



(but seriously, twitter was a godsend when my daughter was readmitted to the hospital right after she had her baby-I was stuck up there with my cellphone and since my twitter is connected to my facebook status I could get the word out. It was at that point I realized twitter was not a totally worthless application. )
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:13 PM on July 27, 2009

Since we're talking about Twitter, I've gotta know- what's the deal with this? we must have shit in someone's cereal hard.

There's a bot in #mefi that combines a markov generator with some anony-posting functionality and some twitter API stuff. It has as much to do with Metafilter most the time as the color blue has to do with the Blue Man Group, so don't worry about it too much. It does throw out some bizarre shit, though.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:15 PM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is why I am not on Twitter; cannot tell who anyone is.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:21 PM on July 27, 2009

what will AKGovSarahPalin morph into?
How about the Twitter Quitter?
posted by Cranberry at 12:27 PM on July 27, 2009

Qwitter
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:29 PM on July 27, 2009

This isn't me; neither is this.
posted by brujita at 12:31 PM on July 27, 2009

If there is a Cranberry on Twitter, it is not I. I follow Roland Hedley on Doonesbury, not Twitter
posted by Cranberry at 12:31 PM on July 27, 2009

Also, this isn't me, either. I'm on Twitter with my full name, not my Mefi username.
posted by jokeefe at 12:33 PM on July 27, 2009

This is me.
posted by empath at 12:35 PM on July 27, 2009

I don't even know how to play the piano (T_T)
posted by nowonmai at 12:35 PM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is not me.
posted by Kadin2048 at 12:40 PM on July 27, 2009

I have a solution:

It's only you (you is defined as you on metafilter) if you've linked to it from your metafilter account.

Otherwise, we'll all assume its not you.
posted by vacapinta at 12:43 PM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

For what it's worth - This is me.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:08 PM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is definitely me, you can tell because all the people I'm watching are cats and most of the posts are immediately following the Passover from hell.
posted by kathrineg at 1:14 PM on July 27, 2009

This is, in fact, me. So is this. Apparently I picked a user name no one else wants. Yeah me?
posted by DiscourseMarker at 1:15 PM on July 27, 2009

Are people having this very same conversation right now on Twitter? But, like, reversed?
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:18 PM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

I have a solution:

It's only you (you is defined as you on metafilter) if you've linked to it from your metafilter account.

Otherwise, we'll all assume its not you.

Pfft. You're just saying that because you're a huge almodovar fan.
posted by davejay at 1:19 PM on July 27, 2009

cortex: "There's a bot in #mefi that combines a markov generator with some anony-posting functionality and some twitter API stuff."

Ah! That actually makes a lot more sense.
posted by potch at 1:22 PM on July 27, 2009

This is NOT me. (although I am exactly as hot as he is)
posted by joshrholloway at 1:45 PM on July 27, 2009

This is not me although he looks a lot like me. This is me but you'll be real bored if you follow my tweets.
posted by octothorpe at 1:47 PM on July 27, 2009

A ONE-NOTE JOKE EH

SEEMS PRETTY DUMB IMHO
posted by Mirror-Universe Optimus Chyme at 1:54 PM on July 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

Oh and this is my favorite fake twitter persona
posted by kathrineg at 1:55 PM on July 27, 2009

This is me. Never heard of ODEO before... Why is ODEO stealing MefiMusic content?
This is not me. I challenge this pretender to a fight to the death, with broadswords in a pit.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:03 PM on July 27, 2009

OMG MEATBOMB IS REALLY ZOMBIE LINCOLN!
posted by Mister_A at 2:08 PM on July 27, 2009

It also says, "Also, not Jonmc from metafilter. I'm better looking," now. Not sure if that was there before.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy

That's one way to out yourself.
posted by gman at 2:10 PM on July 27, 2009

It's kind of disappointing how many Twitterers with MeFites' names have only 1 or 2 Tweets, some over a year old. Lame. But if any batch of usernames should get 'favored nation' status at Twitter, the MetaFilterers should... Because, yes, Twitter's Own Ev is a MeFite. He also was Matt's and pb's boss at Blogger before a shortage of VC money forced him to fire everybody (including the co-founder... what was up with THAT?) and lock himself in the server room until Google bought him out. No such problem at Twitter. I think it's his partner Biz Stone who keeps the money coming in without a business plan. "This company will make money someday: one of the founders is named BIZ!" IMO, the only thing that could (and will) end Twitter's reign of terror on the Intarwebs will be a successful 'non-centralized' Twitter competitor. But I digress... NOT ME!
posted by wendell at 2:16 PM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is NOT me. I've never even been to Key West. Fucking cat and its stupid charmed life.
posted by kittyprecious at 2:19 PM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

This IS me. When I first checked in with twitter, it was taken. I checked again a year or so later and was able to secure it. I've a much more, ahem, different username at flickr and I, of course, own the domains for all of 'em.
I was beat to the punch by some east coast high school kid on Facebook but I figure it gives me plausible deniability.
posted by geekyguy at 2:34 PM on July 27, 2009

THE OTHRE DAY SOMEONE AKSED ME IF MY TIWTTER WAS PERFROMANCE ART, I SAID LOL I DUNNO
#TWURT
posted by Greg Nog at 2:43 PM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

Totally me. Note the neglect, the tweet-less desolation, the hedonic emphasis on "donuts" and "coffee".
posted by everichon at 2:54 PM on July 27, 2009

I'm still chuffed about this username being available when I signed up for MeFi.
posted by Shepherd at 3:22 PM on July 27, 2009

How do you know it's not you? You have to confront yourself, and then ultimately learn to embrace yourself.
posted by anniecat at 3:37 PM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Oh fer chrissake.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:41 PM on July 27, 2009

This is me.
posted by kalessin at 4:13 PM on July 27, 2009

Not me, if you care, which you don't.

Why don't you care?
posted by Rangeboy at 5:05 PM on July 27, 2009

People who pull that sort of off-site shit are spineless pricks, regardless of whether they do their petty asshole sniping via Twitter, IRC, etc. If one lacks the guts to be a jerk face-to-face, so to speak, and to take the lumps that'll come with that sort of behavior, one should keep their blazing wit to themselves.

a bot in #mefi that combines a markov generator with some anony-posting functionality and some twitter API stuff

Man, I spent like an hour last week trying to figure out who that dink was. It was then that I realized Twitter's support crew were boar-tit useless, assuming they even exist.

For approximately 99% of the time since its inception, it's been nothing but an inane fount of self centerism...

"... now let's look at pictures of the bunny in my backyard!"

I enjoy cracking jokes at the expense of the Twitter or the Facebook or the Flickr or the LiveJournal as much as the next asshole on the internet, but just because you've formulated some philosophical position on why a specific service doesn't cut the mustard don't make it so.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:31 PM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

I'm not actually mrmojoflying! I ripped that mofo off from a poor sweet, unsuspecting boy. He probably has the twitter account.
posted by mrmojoflying at 5:37 PM on July 27, 2009

This is not me, but instead is a dog, who writes to ask if he's the only one who likes his own puke. Jesus. And he's got 26 followers! Well, 27 including me.
posted by atchafalaya at 5:59 PM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Perhaps the imposter didn't like his or her results on that dead.atyourage.com site that jonmc drug up.
posted by bz at 6:17 PM on July 27, 2009

I fucking wannabe sedated.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:39 PM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

a hunnert-hunnert-hunnert-forty char'cters ta go-o-oooo
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:42 PM on July 27, 2009 [4 favorites]

bwahahaha
posted by lazaruslong at 6:45 PM on July 27, 2009

To clarify, I very much enjoyed the 2 previous puns.
posted by lazaruslong at 6:45 PM on July 27, 2009

Upon further consideration - and to head off any accusations of hypocrisy and/or being Cap'n No-Fun of the good ship Self-Righteous - I should probably clarify that griping about a fellow MeFite off-site is to be expected in any community; people are people, not everyone gets along, nor should they have to, etc.

Obviously, people are invested in their respective web personae to different degrees, and while not everyone is interested in presenting as authentic and sincere a face as possible, going out of your way to fuck around with someone's on-line identity is a shit move.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:46 PM on July 27, 2009

This is not me. Oh I get to play too!
posted by IndigoRain at 7:09 PM on July 27, 2009

Whoever it is

it's kind of sad,

although

they're welcome to

hate me if they want,

but

I think we can agree

that

impersonating someone

to harass others

is kind

of beyond the pale.
posted by effluvia at 7:17 PM on July 27, 2009

This IS me.

I need [follow]ers.
posted by crossoverman at 7:21 PM on July 27, 2009

since my twitter is connected to my facebook status I could get the word out. It was at that point I realized twitter was not a totally worthless application.

You can update your facebook status with just about any cell phone, exactly as you can twitter. You can have facebook update twitter. There are many things in my mind that keep twitter from being a 'totally worthless application'. This is not one of them.

going out of your way to fuck around with someone's on-line identity is a shit move.

From the google cache it looks like he/she/they had 15 followers and 25 updates mostly consisting of 'I love beer'. There's not reference to any names, no reference to metafilter. I doubt anyone outside this thread (or a frequent visitor to metafilter) would be able to connect the dots, until now.

FWIW, Shaq handled it much better.
posted by Dennis Murphy at 7:39 PM on July 27, 2009

Dang, all my alt handles are already taken by not me.
posted by Balisong at 7:43 PM on July 27, 2009

People who pull that sort of off-site shit are spineless pricks, regardless of whether they do their petty asshole sniping via Twitter, IRC, etc. If one lacks the guts to be a jerk face-to-face, so to speak, and to take the lumps that'll come with that sort of behavior, one should keep their blazing wit to themselves.

Oh, I wish I could favorite this a thousand times.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:45 PM on July 27, 2009

Seriously, whoever set up that Afroblanco account, could you please MeMail me? We can talk about this.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:00 PM on July 27, 2009

This is random.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:30 PM on July 27, 2009

This is ridiculous! This is disgusting! This is awful!
posted by Miko at 8:37 PM on July 27, 2009

This is not a pipe.
This is not America
This is not a love song
This is not pitchfork
This is not
posted by brevator at 8:49 PM on July 27, 2009

This is not a love song.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:51 PM on July 27, 2009

I'm sad to say there's no rolltruckroll on Twitter, though I have come across several truckers on Twitter who send pictures from the road.

If I were a trucker, my Twitter name would be rolltruckroll. I wouldn't be on Metafilter.
posted by roll truck roll at 9:14 PM on July 27, 2009

What would be really... interesting? something? would be having a fake fake identity, to actually be the person one is saying they're not.
posted by ambient2 at 9:33 PM on July 27, 2009

I had this to say about Twitter, and then I stopped thinking about it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:33 PM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

I had this to say about Twitter, and then I stopped thinking about it.

It's even possible that chronology is a bit off.
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:38 PM on July 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

Well, I heard from the alternate universe afroblanco, and apparently they're going to be cool about this. Who knows? Perhaps I'll actually start using twitter.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:03 PM on July 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Not only is this not me, but he's blocked the real me on twitter. The only person that I'm aware of who has blocked me on twitter.
posted by gingerbeer at 10:18 PM on July 27, 2009

[this is me]
posted by Mikey-San at 11:37 PM on July 27, 2009

There is no me for me to be.
posted by chillmost at 12:02 AM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

It's even possible that chronology is a bit off.

'struth. I just lost the twitGame. Again.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:03 AM on July 28, 2009

Man, none of these people are me.
posted by Ms. Saint at 12:14 AM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

There is an idea of an Eideteker; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
posted by Eideteker at 1:59 AM on July 28, 2009

The biggest electronic disappointment of my middle-aged life (which isn't all that much of one, still) was to discover that my name was taken at gmail. As far as I know, I have an absolutely unique name. The account isn't active, either. Weird.

If you follow my twitter account, you'll read about me eating a hot dog or other sausage-based foodstuff on a Washington state ferry about once every two months. I may be the most boring person on twitter, which is why I twat about once a quarter.
posted by maxwelton at 3:46 AM on July 28, 2009

I should say, my "real" name. Sigh.
posted by maxwelton at 3:46 AM on July 28, 2009

The ferry's "sausage mcmuffin" isn't bad, really. Not much can go wrong with an english muffin, sausage patty, egg-from-a-carton and bright yellow molten "cheese." Had the absolute last one left in the hot box on Saturday, well aged and the guy behind me clearly had had his eye on it. I was tempted to resell it.
posted by maxwelton at 3:49 AM on July 28, 2009

Come to think of it, though, I'm not sure I've visited the men's room since then, despite repeated doses of fiber. Hm. Three stars out of five, then.
posted by maxwelton at 3:51 AM on July 28, 2009

Five years ago, if you googled "elfgirl" most of the top 10 hits were me. Now, not so much.

The biggest issue I've had with faux-elfgirls has been Twitter-related, but not Twitter's fault. Blip.fm allows users to crosspost to Twitter and uses the same @ designation for users, and for a while I got a lot of followers and @ replies on Twitter that were meant for the faux-elfgirl at blip.

I think most people have gotten over the idea that every iteration of their username across the Web must be them. I deliberately didn't take elfgirl at Facebook because I try to a certain extent to divorce my username from my IRL name.

A strategy foobar'd by putting my username on my licence plate, but we'll totally ignore that point of logic, kthxbye.
posted by elfgirl at 5:18 AM on July 28, 2009

Aw, man, Bar None? That was just about the only place in NYC I could drop into and have a really solid chance of finding a couple of friends already there.

Pick up some waffle fries next door for me, willya? With the Wiz, please.
posted by lauranesson at 6:09 AM on July 28, 2009

Yes, these are all me. I just opened a jazz club in Pittsburgh and I fucking love Dale Jr. If you google my real name you will also see that I discovered telomeres. I am a busy girl.
posted by little e at 6:42 AM on July 28, 2009

This is me!
...and I don't worry so much about the whole internets finding out who I am anymore.
posted by Xoebe at 11:37 AM on July 28, 2009

This is not me.
posted by Lazlo Hollyfeld at 12:52 PM on July 28, 2009

The real horror here is people figuring out that their nicks aren't that creative. I'm not going to look.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 1:16 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

The real horror here is people figuring out that their nicks aren't that creative

Hey, we can't all be East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabbadi Champion '94. There's only one, that's why it's special.
posted by Miko at 1:43 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

I am not a Canadian bank, but I wish I was.

Hm, I wonder if they're interested in my Twitter username. For a fee, bien sûr.
posted by desjardins at 3:21 PM on July 28, 2009

I'm actually speechless that you'd post this.
posted by seanyboy at 5:00 PM on July 28, 2009

Pick up some waffle fries next door for me, willya? With the Wiz, please.

99 Miles makes the worst cheesteak i've ever had. Go to Wogies for a good one. But I'm at Bar None after 6:30 most nights. Look for the tall guy in the St Louis Browns hat.
posted by jonmc at 5:27 PM on July 28, 2009

THIS IS NOT A FUGAZI T-SHIRT
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:19 PM on July 28, 2009

Wow, ParisParamus is crazier than ever.
posted by blasdelf at 7:12 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is not me. And while I do think PhotoReading, NaturalBrilliance, GeniusCode, and Abundance for Life are all outright scams, and while I've been continually burned by getting tons of e-mail mis-addressed for this other person that I am not, in the long run, I've learned to admire his hucksterish enthusiasm and perennial belief in his own bullshit. And as far as I can tell, at one initial's remove, there is nothing wrong with his work ethic.
posted by paulsc at 9:33 PM on July 28, 2009

This is definitely not me. Would've been nice, but I know my name isn't terribly uncommon.

The solution is to just link your MeFi account with your Twitter account so people can verify (if you actually want those paths to cross, obviously).
posted by cmgonzalez at 1:27 AM on July 29, 2009

little e: "Yes, these are all me. I just opened a jazz club in Pittsburgh and I fucking love Dale Jr. If you google my real name you will also see that I discovered telomeres. I am a busy girl."

Your club looks pretty cool, I should stop in, it's right up the avenue from my office.
posted by octothorpe at 6:20 AM on July 29, 2009

As of now the guy's Twitter page says right in the "about me" that he's not jonmc of MetaFilter.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:23 AM on July 29, 2009

Nope, Not me.
posted by pointystick at 12:05 PM on July 29, 2009

Wait, wait, Abundance for Life is a scam?
posted by box at 12:35 PM on July 29, 2009

Wait, wait, box isn't an actual box?
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:54 PM on July 29, 2009

Wait, wait, box isn't an actual box?

What would be the fun in that?
posted by elfgirl at 3:08 PM on July 29, 2009

"Wait, wait, Abundance for Life is a scam?"
posted by box at 3:35 PM on July 29 [+] [!]

Sadly, box, I fear, from what little I know about it, that it well might not be everything you hoped.
posted by paulsc at 8:48 PM on July 29, 2009

I only wish this was me.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:53 AM on July 30, 2009

What would be the fun in that?

Uh-uh, I ain't hearin' that, see.
posted by chrismear at 5:46 AM on July 31, 2009

Yeah, man, I don't want the cheesesteak. Just the fries. And now I live far away, or else I'd haunt you right up.
posted by lauranesson at 3:09 PM on July 31, 2009

's back if anyone wants to follow it again.
posted by Eideteker at 4:35 AM on August 2, 2009