A short time in this place July 31, 2009 8:02 AM Subscribe
Sad news: friend and fellow mefite hexxed passed away on Saturday.
While not the most prolific of commenters, he was a long time fan of the site.
On display at the funeral were a number of personal items, one of which, a beat up, very old, ruggedized laptop, was directly attributable to his time here; he bought it after discovering this thread and proudly showed it off whenever he could.
His legacy will live on in our Milwaukee meetups in that, it was him who introduced me to Paddy's, the location I've suggested for every meetup here in the last two years.
He was 31 years old, and will be missed greatly.
While not the most prolific of commenters, he was a long time fan of the site.
On display at the funeral were a number of personal items, one of which, a beat up, very old, ruggedized laptop, was directly attributable to his time here; he bought it after discovering this thread and proudly showed it off whenever he could.
His legacy will live on in our Milwaukee meetups in that, it was him who introduced me to Paddy's, the location I've suggested for every meetup here in the last two years.
He was 31 years old, and will be missed greatly.
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posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:16 AM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:16 AM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm very sorry.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:16 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:16 AM on July 31, 2009
So sorry for your loss. We are all the poorer for it.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:24 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:24 AM on July 31, 2009
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posted by roll truck roll at 8:41 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by roll truck roll at 8:41 AM on July 31, 2009
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posted by Crabby Appleton at 9:10 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by Crabby Appleton at 9:10 AM on July 31, 2009
I'm still trying to get all the details, but what I know right now is that he wasn't feeling well, he went to the hospital, they put him into surgery to remove a blood clot, and he passed away shortly after.
It was a complete shock when I found out. Dying just wasn't his style at all.
posted by quin at 9:18 AM on July 31, 2009 [5 favorites]
It was a complete shock when I found out. Dying just wasn't his style at all.
posted by quin at 9:18 AM on July 31, 2009 [5 favorites]
My apologies if this is an inappropriate or unwelcome question, but given the unusual young age of his passing, from what did he pass away?
To quote a mefite I respect:
Generally if it is intentionally omitted you don't really want to know, or it is wished to remain unknown. Prying is kind of rude. especially in a public forum. It would be better to ask your question in a message if your morbid curiosity must be satisfied. (Not trying to be rude, just firm.)
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:19 AM on July 31, 2009 [5 favorites]
To quote a mefite I respect:
Generally if it is intentionally omitted you don't really want to know, or it is wished to remain unknown. Prying is kind of rude. especially in a public forum. It would be better to ask your question in a message if your morbid curiosity must be satisfied. (Not trying to be rude, just firm.)
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:19 AM on July 31, 2009 [5 favorites]
quin, thanks for sharing about your friend with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you, as is my sorrow. We are diminished.
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:21 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:21 AM on July 31, 2009
Generally if it is intentionally omitted you don't really want to know, or it is wished to remain unknown. Prying is kind of rude. especially in a public forum. It would be better to ask your question in a message if your morbid curiosity must be satisfied. (Not trying to be rude, just firm.)
Except that it appears to have been omitted because the poster didn't have specific details.
posted by gman at 9:23 AM on July 31, 2009
Except that it appears to have been omitted because the poster didn't have specific details.
posted by gman at 9:23 AM on July 31, 2009
WCityMike, this is not meant to be a criticism of your question, but I think that sometimes people ask about someone who died unusually young because they want to reassure themselves it could never happen to them.
It could happen to any of us, despite our totally natural and understandable human wish to believe otherwise. In addition to the proverbial bus that might hit us, there are lots of things that can go wrong all of a sudden in the human body, even the young, healthy human body.
To quote myself, "Love comes in such fragile containers."
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:32 AM on July 31, 2009 [9 favorites]
It could happen to any of us, despite our totally natural and understandable human wish to believe otherwise. In addition to the proverbial bus that might hit us, there are lots of things that can go wrong all of a sudden in the human body, even the young, healthy human body.
To quote myself, "Love comes in such fragile containers."
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:32 AM on July 31, 2009 [9 favorites]
That's really terrible. I'm sorry for your loss.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:39 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:39 AM on July 31, 2009
Christ, 31. Fuck you, death. I'm really sorry, quin.
posted by Skot at 9:39 AM on July 31, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Skot at 9:39 AM on July 31, 2009 [2 favorites]
I'm so sorry to hear it. My condolences to his family and friends.
posted by LeeJay at 9:43 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by LeeJay at 9:43 AM on July 31, 2009
Sad news indeed. I can only hope that when my time comes, my passing will be noticed by such a fine group of humans as metafilter.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:45 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:45 AM on July 31, 2009
Oh, I'm sorry, quin. My condolences to you and his other friends.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:54 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:54 AM on July 31, 2009
31 years old - way too young. And then I note from a comment he made in March: Mrs. Hexxed (well soon to be) has family in Kentucky. - that's a heartbreak, the loss of a young husband and a Daddy (or soon-to-be Daddy).
How sad. Thanks for telling us quinn, and condolences to both you and to his family.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:56 AM on July 31, 2009
How sad. Thanks for telling us quinn, and condolences to both you and to his family.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:56 AM on July 31, 2009
I'm sorry, quin. Thirty-one is so young.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:56 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:56 AM on July 31, 2009
Quin, you seem to have known him;
We worked together; we both were coming off of long stretches of unemployment after the dotcom crash, and we were starting back near the bottom of the corporate ladder, we came up through training together and, having the same tastes in movies, books, music, whiskey, etc, became good friends.
One day during a bit of down time, he noticed me reading Metafilter and became interested. Shortly after that he became a regular lurker and eventually joined up himself.
He was a gregarious guy with a fucked up sense of humor (again, we were friends, natch.) and he had a deep and powerful love of Manchester United (as a non-sports guy living in a football obsessed state, this was kind of a relief actually).
He also had no shame, which he used to great effect; one night he came out with a group of my other friends, and he quickly discovered that one of them was inexplicably shy when it came to meeting women, so he got the both of them drunk and then proceeded to take on the roll of Super-Wingman and introduce themselves to every lady in the place. And he did so with such charm that despite the cheesiness of the effort, everyone he talked to seemed to honestly be having fun.
That is probably the best way to describe him; he had a strange sort of charisma that he could pull you into whatever scheme he was currently hatching.
I'll miss that a lot.
posted by quin at 10:04 AM on July 31, 2009 [40 favorites]
We worked together; we both were coming off of long stretches of unemployment after the dotcom crash, and we were starting back near the bottom of the corporate ladder, we came up through training together and, having the same tastes in movies, books, music, whiskey, etc, became good friends.
One day during a bit of down time, he noticed me reading Metafilter and became interested. Shortly after that he became a regular lurker and eventually joined up himself.
He was a gregarious guy with a fucked up sense of humor (again, we were friends, natch.) and he had a deep and powerful love of Manchester United (as a non-sports guy living in a football obsessed state, this was kind of a relief actually).
He also had no shame, which he used to great effect; one night he came out with a group of my other friends, and he quickly discovered that one of them was inexplicably shy when it came to meeting women, so he got the both of them drunk and then proceeded to take on the roll of Super-Wingman and introduce themselves to every lady in the place. And he did so with such charm that despite the cheesiness of the effort, everyone he talked to seemed to honestly be having fun.
That is probably the best way to describe him; he had a strange sort of charisma that he could pull you into whatever scheme he was currently hatching.
I'll miss that a lot.
posted by quin at 10:04 AM on July 31, 2009 [40 favorites]
Damn. I am so sorry, quin.
posted by lazaruslong at 10:33 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by lazaruslong at 10:33 AM on July 31, 2009
31. :( So very, very young. :(
he had a strange sort of charisma that he could pull you into whatever scheme he was currently hatching.
I have a couple of friends like this and cherish them. I'm very sorry for your loss, quin. :(
posted by zarq at 10:34 AM on July 31, 2009
he had a strange sort of charisma that he could pull you into whatever scheme he was currently hatching.
I have a couple of friends like this and cherish them. I'm very sorry for your loss, quin. :(
posted by zarq at 10:34 AM on July 31, 2009
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posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 10:39 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 10:39 AM on July 31, 2009
quin, I'm so sorry for your loss, for his family's loss, and for Metafilter's loss. It's heartbreaking to lose a friend, a family member, a community member. My moment of silence for hexxed:
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posted by Elsa at 11:12 AM on July 31, 2009
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posted by Elsa at 11:12 AM on July 31, 2009
My condolences to everyone who knew him, and thanks for sharing those memories, quin.
posted by languagehat at 11:21 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by languagehat at 11:21 AM on July 31, 2009
Very sad. That was a really lovely way to share your memories, quin.
posted by kiwi-epitome at 11:38 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by kiwi-epitome at 11:38 AM on July 31, 2009
Hexxed, you will be much missed by all of us. Our condolences to your family and friends. RIP.
posted by Lynsey at 11:41 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by Lynsey at 11:41 AM on July 31, 2009
My condolences, quin. Hexxed sounded like a great guy.
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posted by lilac girl at 11:56 AM on July 31, 2009
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posted by lilac girl at 11:56 AM on July 31, 2009
quin, it means a lot to me, and to the community in general, I suspect, for you to share your memories of hexxed with us. My condolences to you, his family, and anyone lucky enough to call him a friend.
posted by SpiffyRob at 11:58 AM on July 31, 2009
posted by SpiffyRob at 11:58 AM on July 31, 2009
How sad. My condolences to his family and friends. Thirty-one. Fuck.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:13 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:13 PM on July 31, 2009
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posted by Reverend John at 12:22 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by Reverend John at 12:22 PM on July 31, 2009
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posted by fourcheesemac at 12:32 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by fourcheesemac at 12:32 PM on July 31, 2009
There could be no more appropriate way to honor the life of a Mefite than to spend part of his memorial thread in a derail about the proper way to behave in a memorial thread. Better ways, maybe, but more appropriate than re-enacting the typical Metafilter obit thread, I'm not sure.
quin, thanks for sharing this sad news, and your sweet stories about hexxed. My deepest sympathies to you and to everyone who shares in his loss.
posted by padraigin at 12:35 PM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]
quin, thanks for sharing this sad news, and your sweet stories about hexxed. My deepest sympathies to you and to everyone who shares in his loss.
posted by padraigin at 12:35 PM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]
I got the sense from that that the woman to he was referring was soon to become Mrs. Hexxed, i.e., was his fiancée.
Yes, of course, I don't know why I read that wrong ...
quin, good of you to share your recollections - it's a nice tribute to your friend, and fitting that he should be memorialized on his community, mefi.
posted by madamjujujive at 12:44 PM on July 31, 2009
Yes, of course, I don't know why I read that wrong ...
quin, good of you to share your recollections - it's a nice tribute to your friend, and fitting that he should be memorialized on his community, mefi.
posted by madamjujujive at 12:44 PM on July 31, 2009
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My condolences. I'm sorry I never got to meet the guy. He sounds fun.
posted by desjardins at 12:52 PM on July 31, 2009
My condolences. I'm sorry I never got to meet the guy. He sounds fun.
posted by desjardins at 12:52 PM on July 31, 2009
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posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:58 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:58 PM on July 31, 2009
Just married, only a few months ago? That is so terribly tragic. My heart is breaking for his wife and family.
We (the world) always lose the good ones way too early.
posted by bunnycup at 12:58 PM on July 31, 2009
We (the world) always lose the good ones way too early.
posted by bunnycup at 12:58 PM on July 31, 2009
You and his family have my sympathy, quin, and are in my thoughts. Thanks for letting us know and sharing a wonderful memory of him.
posted by deborah at 1:05 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by deborah at 1:05 PM on July 31, 2009
31, oh my God. My condolences to his family, and to you, quin.
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posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:38 PM on July 31, 2009
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posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:38 PM on July 31, 2009
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posted by dreamyshade at 1:44 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by dreamyshade at 1:44 PM on July 31, 2009
I went back and reread his comments. He wasn't prolific, but I remembered a few of them. He obviously had an admirable quality that I lack: He only commented when he had something he wanted to say. That's a fine quality, and will be missed.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:55 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:55 PM on July 31, 2009
That was a wonderful comment, quin. I'm very sorry for your loss.
posted by graventy at 2:01 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by graventy at 2:01 PM on July 31, 2009
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posted by Smart Dalek at 2:31 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:31 PM on July 31, 2009
Oh god, that's heartbreaking. My condolences to you, quin, and my heart goes out to Mrs. hexxed. Thank you for sharing and letting us know.
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posted by Phire at 4:09 PM on July 31, 2009
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posted by Phire at 4:09 PM on July 31, 2009
Crazy. Untimely. Further proof of the infinite unfairness of life. RIP.
posted by GuyZero at 4:14 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by GuyZero at 4:14 PM on July 31, 2009
Damn.
posted by trip and a half at 4:35 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by trip and a half at 4:35 PM on July 31, 2009
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posted by IndigoRain at 4:41 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by IndigoRain at 4:41 PM on July 31, 2009
I'm sorry for your loss, quin. Thanks for sharing your funny, vivid memories of someone who sounds like a truly lovely guy.
posted by scody at 5:07 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by scody at 5:07 PM on July 31, 2009
This sucks. My condolences to his family and to you, quin.
posted by ooga_booga at 5:46 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by ooga_booga at 5:46 PM on July 31, 2009
Very sorry for your loss, quin.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:31 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:31 PM on July 31, 2009
quin, I'm sorry to hear this about your friend. I see that he had just married earlier in the year. I'm sure he'll be missed by you who love him.
posted by Mister_A at 7:51 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by Mister_A at 7:51 PM on July 31, 2009
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posted by saucysault at 8:04 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by saucysault at 8:04 PM on July 31, 2009
Oh, man. I am sorry to hear this, quin.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:53 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:53 PM on July 31, 2009
Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing, quin.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 10:12 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by LittleMissCranky at 10:12 PM on July 31, 2009
Thirty-one. Damn. I hope we gave him at least a little joy.
posted by orthogonality at 11:55 PM on July 31, 2009
posted by orthogonality at 11:55 PM on July 31, 2009
Thanks for sharing your memories, quin, and my sincere condolences to you and his family. 31 is way too young.
posted by goo at 7:57 AM on August 1, 2009
posted by goo at 7:57 AM on August 1, 2009
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posted by hot soup girl at 10:01 AM on August 1, 2009
posted by hot soup girl at 10:01 AM on August 1, 2009
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posted by typewriter at 3:49 PM on August 1, 2009
posted by typewriter at 3:49 PM on August 1, 2009
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Condolences all around. Sounds like he was one heck of a great guy.
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 3:58 PM on August 1, 2009
Condolences all around. Sounds like he was one heck of a great guy.
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 3:58 PM on August 1, 2009
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quin, sorry to hear about your loss. Sounds like he was an amazing friend. Take care~
posted by garnetgirl at 4:55 PM on August 1, 2009
quin, sorry to hear about your loss. Sounds like he was an amazing friend. Take care~
posted by garnetgirl at 4:55 PM on August 1, 2009
Thank you all for your kind words for me and his family. I've said it before and I'll say it again; the sense of community here is the kind of thing that I think that Metafilter does better than any other place on the internet.
This whole experience does highlight an important life lesson for me though; the capricious and random nature of our existence strongly suggests that we shouldn't wait till later to do something we want to try today. Because even if you are doing everything right, there might not be a tomorrow.
So I'm going to go and have some fun to honor what my friend liked to do, and I think he'd have liked it if you all did the same.
posted by quin at 6:00 PM on August 1, 2009
This whole experience does highlight an important life lesson for me though; the capricious and random nature of our existence strongly suggests that we shouldn't wait till later to do something we want to try today. Because even if you are doing everything right, there might not be a tomorrow.
So I'm going to go and have some fun to honor what my friend liked to do, and I think he'd have liked it if you all did the same.
posted by quin at 6:00 PM on August 1, 2009
Mitheral : I've updated the wiki.
I hadn't thought of that. Thanks.
posted by quin at 6:38 PM on August 1, 2009
I hadn't thought of that. Thanks.
posted by quin at 6:38 PM on August 1, 2009
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posted by limeonaire at 7:19 AM on August 2, 2009
posted by limeonaire at 7:19 AM on August 2, 2009
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posted by GrammarMoses at 6:49 PM on August 2, 2009
posted by GrammarMoses at 6:49 PM on August 2, 2009
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posted by hector horace at 8:04 AM on August 3, 2009
posted by hector horace at 8:04 AM on August 3, 2009
We seem to have been somewhat kindred spirits...
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...and so it goes...
posted by schyler523 at 10:32 PM on August 3, 2009
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...and so it goes...
posted by schyler523 at 10:32 PM on August 3, 2009
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posted by crush-onastick at 8:08 AM on July 31, 2009