FREE ENERGY!

September 6, 2009 9:42 PM

The ▼●B≠0 thread is generating a timecube-esque Google-ad that is selling a Perpetual Motion Machine. I'm guessing Metafilter would rather not be involved in violating the first law of thermodynamics.

Log out, disable adblock temporarily, and bask in the glory of free energy generation.

posted by jsonic to etiquette/policy at 9:42 PM (58 comments total)

Let us know the URL the ad leads to and we can block it if it's annoying/problematic. If it is merely weird, enjoy.
posted by jessamyn at 9:49 PM on September 6

The Perpetual Motion Machine link is the URL the ad leads to. It appears to go through a few layers of redirection though.
posted by jsonic at 9:51 PM on September 6

Laws are made to be broken.
posted by Iron Rat at 9:52 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]

jsonic: I'm guessing Metafilter would rather not be involved in violating the first law of thermodynamics.

You are guessing wrong.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:53 PM on September 6 [22 favorites]

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
posted by Afroblanco at 9:54 PM on September 6

It's an image ad BTW. Here's a link to the actual image:

http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/imgad?id=CPu9wszkgYieNRCsAhj6ATIIWHpZZ5GfgOI
posted by jsonic at 9:56 PM on September 6

For what it's worth, this thread is bringing up lots of similar ads.
posted by dunkadunc at 10:02 PM on September 6

No one who visits MetaFilter is buying that shit (except for DirtyCreature, I guess). If Matt et al can make a living from those people's ads I'm happy to hear it.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:07 PM on September 6

I'm guessing Metafilter would rather not be involved in violating the first law of thermodynamics.

You guess wrong! Fuck the police! The, uh, physics police.
posted by nanojath at 10:11 PM on September 6 [1 favorite]

If Matt et al can make a living from those people's ads I'm happy to hear it.

Well, if they can remove Scientology ads, I'm sure they can afford to pass on ad revenue from timecubers.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:14 PM on September 6

The Perpetual Motion Machine link is the URL the ad leads to. It appears to go through a few layers of redirection though.

You have succeeded only in driving infinitely more people to the link you find so objectionable than otherwise would have gone of their own accord. Bravo, good sir. (Unless of course the point of this post is simply to point out how keen your powers of observation are, in which case, I offer you double the congratulations!)
posted by dhammond at 10:18 PM on September 6

entropy is for losers.
posted by longsleeves at 10:26 PM on September 6 [3 favorites]

What's wrong with perpetual emotions?
posted by ColdChef at 10:29 PM on September 6

What's wrong with perpetual emoticons?
posted by Confess, Fletch at 10:32 PM on September 6

?:(

↑
Schroedinger's Emoticon
posted by Rhaomi at 10:42 PM on September 6 [19 favorites]

I bought one of these recently, and it was a pain in the ass to put together but I finally got it working. A few tips:

1. The 4 AA batteries have to be rechargeables. I'm not sure why they didn't mention that in the instructions, but that's the whole point of the system. Also, you'll need to change them out every few days.

2. If you don't have access to plutonium 239, you can substitute uranium 235 instead. Make sure you adjust the quantities appropriately though, otherwise you'll be headed to China Syndrome-town.

3. When you draw the pentagram on the floor with blood, use goat blood. I tried to use some llama blood that I had lying around and it totally didn't work.

4. Check ahead of time that the room you keep the device in can safely maintain a temperature around -2 degrees kelvin. I originally had mine setup in my basement but the pipes froze and I ended up with a foot of water down there.

5. When the device is running, put on protective eyewear! The UV output is a few thousand times greater than the output of the sun, so you don't want to be looking directly at that thing with your naked eye.

6. It's important that you leave the room immediately after powering up or shutting down the device. A wormhole may appear in the general area of the device during those times, and if you enter it you may be transported to a different time period or a parallel dimension. It sounds like that would be fun, but it's actually not.

Overall I'd say it's a high quality device as long as you assemble and use it properly. I'm not sure if it was worth my cat dying in that horrible accident, but it is saving me around 40% on my electricity bills every month.
posted by burnmp3s at 10:42 PM on September 6 [84 favorites]

What sarong goes with prenuptial motions?
posted by P.o.B. at 10:51 PM on September 6

While I'm all for haha funny, I would think Mefi wouldn't want to associate itself with an obvious scam.
posted by dirigibleman at 11:29 PM on September 6

i love how the success of their products is basically a bet on how many people's brains will not come to a screeching halt at the words "perpetual motion device".

It's like actually calling your patent medicine "snake oil" anyone who's still listening to your spiel after that is ripe for the plucking.

Fortunately,I don't have to worry about energy costs,as The "lead into gold" kit I bought on ebay will more than cover my electric bill.
posted by billyfleetwood at 11:31 PM on September 6 [4 favorites]

MetaFilter: Violating the first law of thermodynamics since 1999
posted by armage at 11:45 PM on September 6

I don't have to worry about rising energy costs.

I have a perpetual funding kit that allows me to generate free income without costs, using a proven, scientific methodology at any bank branch, using nothing more than a sawn-off .410 shotgun and a stolen Mitsubishi Colt.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 11:45 PM on September 6 [5 favorites]

Zing!
posted by blenderfish at 11:50 PM on September 6

Is this where I voice my observation that many, many download-only software packages use fake "software box" images just like the one (confusingly) shown in that ad? What's up with that?
posted by maxwelton at 12:10 AM on September 7 [1 favorite]

posted by dunkadunc For what it's worth, this thread is bringing up lots of similar ads.

Along with MetaFilter's own perpetual moaning device.
posted by mattdidthat at 1:00 AM on September 7 [1 favorite]

A+++++++ WOULD VIOLATE LAWS OF PHYSICS AGAIN!!!
posted by blue_beetle at 1:15 AM on September 7

Along with MetaFilter's own perpetual moaning device.

...wah wah waahh


because sadtrombone.com isn't working
posted by dunkadunc at 1:23 AM on September 7

When it's CERN wanting to do it with it's so-called "Hadron Collider" you're all for it, but when it's a real American breaking the laws of physics you all crack down on it.

Commies.
posted by qvantamon at 2:44 AM on September 7

While I'm all for haha funny, I would think Mefi wouldn't want to associate itself with an obvious scam.

How can you call it a scam? They were featured on Sky News!
posted by dng at 3:51 AM on September 7

> but when it's a real American breaking the laws of physics you all crack down on it

Looks like they're based in Macedonia.

Also, I asked my lawyer friend about this, and he said he'd never heard of this "law of thermodynamics"!
posted by bjrn at 4:23 AM on September 7

I saw a desktop-sized one of these in Sky Mall recently. It also helps you find your golf balls and aerates your lawn.
posted by Jon-o at 4:23 AM on September 7 [1 favorite]

Never needs winding, never needs winding, never needs winding!
posted by Meatbomb at 5:29 AM on September 7 [4 favorites]

It's no more a scam than shooting fish in a barrel is sport.
posted by dg at 5:38 AM on September 7 [1 favorite]

Seeing that sadtrombone wasn't working naturally led me to check if instantrimshot.com was at least still working for freedom, which it is, but it was also, at least at the time, advertising "Do Truckerspeed! Legal in 48 States! And Canada!"

It's a good day for ads, is I guess what I'm saying here.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:38 AM on September 7

Laws were made to be broken.
posted by Sailormom at 7:12 AM on September 7

So when sadtrombone fails, it's not eponysterical exactly, but what? Sonamusing? Acoustappropriate? Onomatopoeticongruous?
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:25 AM on September 7 [4 favorites]

so, this perpetual motion, it vibrates?
posted by pyramid termite at 7:56 AM on September 7

"Acoustappropriate" is most definitely the winner there, nebulawindphone.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:58 AM on September 7

My wife works at Whole Foods. They sell a tonic there to remove buildup from the electromagnetic fields you're exposed to all day by Technology.
posted by EarBucket at 8:02 AM on September 7 [1 favorite]

I didn't know Whole Foods was branching out into tonics, tinctures, and potions. They better not mess with my local, organic spell shop. They can fuck you up in 30 ways using peppermint alone.
posted by The Whelk at 8:27 AM on September 7 [2 favorites]

They sell a tonic there to remove buildup from the electromagnetic fields you're exposed to all day by Technology.

It works, too. Just be sure to add plenty of gin.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:35 AM on September 7 [5 favorites]

186,000 miles per second. It's not just a suggestion, IT'S THE LAW!
posted by Drasher at 8:38 AM on September 7 [1 favorite]

It's an image ad BTW. Here's a link to the actual image:

http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/imgad?id=CPu9wszkgYieNRCsAhj6ATIIWHpZZ5GfgOI

I love that the marketer decided to dress up their perpetual motion machine in the box from a piece of office software. I guess it looks more professional.
posted by grobstein at 8:40 AM on September 7

This is the most explanatory diagram ever. Whenever I need to direct someone to a diagram to get an idea of how something works, I know where I'm going from now on.

Also, it's a lot of fun to actually parse the phrasing of the website. Translated down, what they have done is Finally Succeeded in creatiing a website at which they are offering do-it-yourself instructions for a device that some say may solve the energy crisis. All of it 100% verifable and demonstrably true!
posted by yhbc at 9:10 AM on September 7 [2 favorites]

I like their redefinition of a "Perpetual motion" machine as one that works "indefinitely."
posted by gingerbeer at 9:17 AM on September 7

Heh. "indefinite motion machine." As in "poorly or incompletely defined."
posted by StickyCarpet at 9:54 AM on September 7

No one who visits MetaFilter is buying that shit (except for DirtyCreature, I guess).

You know rough ashlar's ears are burning.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:57 AM on September 7

Hey, it worked!
posted by waraw at 1:51 PM on September 7

I bought this yesterday. Gonna give it a try now.
posted by waraw at 2:19 PM on September 7 [1 favorite]

Apparently, it worked too well and now Waraw is doing a 20-mile run while guzzling energy drinks and protein shakes and crying.

But that's my normal reaction to any kind of scale, so YMMV.
posted by The Whelk at 2:57 PM on September 7

It's like actually calling your patent medicine "snake oil" anyone who's still listening to your spiel after that is ripe for the plucking.

Here you go.
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 3:48 PM on September 7

Never needs winding, never needs winding, never needs winding!
posted by Meatbomb

Man, I actually heard this in my ears when I read it. Sometimes context is everything.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 3:59 PM on September 7

Seeing that sadtrombone wasn't working naturally led me to check if instantrimshot.com was at least still working for freedom, which it is, but it was also, at least at the time, advertising "Do Truckerspeed! Legal in 48 States! And Canada!"

I clicked the link* and unfortunately, truckerspeed is a Portland-based, hipsterish culture blog and not the tweaker's equivalent of those ads in the back of High Times magazine.

*Yeah, I know that's a bad idea, but the link didn't feel very ad-y to me.
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 5:34 PM on September 7

Of course truckerspeed. If they didn't their bladders would explode.
posted by cortex at 5:40 PM on September 7 [3 favorites]

I just perfected my zero-point energy generator in my lair under a volcano. I was going to use it to power my mind control global field generator so that I could take my rightful place as the absolute ruler of Earth.

Now some jackass is selling the plans for less than $200 to save money on home electricity bills!
posted by double block and bleed at 9:02 PM on September 7

Of course truckerspeed. If they didn't their bladders would explode.

Oh goddammit I just got that.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:41 PM on September 7

Has anyone ever considered using a perpetual motion machine advertisement to compile a contact list of those who would be interested/vulnerable, then actually sending them some kind of educational video (maybe hosted by a famous and pretty actor) which teaches why perpetual motion won't work and how to recognize scams?
posted by amtho at 7:30 AM on September 8

I would think Mefi wouldn't want to associate itself with an obvious scam.

I would like to think that mefi readers are smarter than that. I would also like to think that they're smart enough to click on the ad a few times to cost the advertiser some money :)
posted by empath at 11:04 AM on September 8

I dunno, maybe the laws of thermodynamics are different in Macedonia.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 7:05 PM on September 8