Merry Festivus! December 23, 2009 11:56 AM Subscribe
Merry Festivus, everyone!
If only there was someplace on MetaFilter for the Airing of Grievances, we could really egt this thing started.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:09 PM on December 23, 2009 [10 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:09 PM on December 23, 2009 [10 favorites]
Are there any inhabitants of Television here who observe Festivus?
posted by joost de vries at 12:14 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by joost de vries at 12:14 PM on December 23, 2009
Is this something I would have to have a holiday to understand?
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:18 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:18 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
For the rest of us! Huzzah!
posted by BeerFilter at 12:29 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by BeerFilter at 12:29 PM on December 23, 2009
Feats of strength are one thread down.
posted by ColdChef at 12:33 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by ColdChef at 12:33 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
Feats of strength are one thread down.
You gotta be limber for Nerd Thunderdome.
posted by The Whelk at 12:33 PM on December 23, 2009
I think this is illegal. Who gave you the authority to post this thread? Why have you pointedly not called it Christmas? What are your crimes, reenum, what are you so afraid of? What are your crimes?
posted by Meatbomb at 12:35 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by Meatbomb at 12:35 PM on December 23, 2009
I got a lot of problems with you people.
posted by Babblesort at 12:38 PM on December 23, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by Babblesort at 12:38 PM on December 23, 2009 [6 favorites]
My problem is that sometimes I am too awesome and it makes people feel bad.
posted by The Whelk at 12:40 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 12:40 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
This is not what MetaTalk is for. Please take it to Projects, Music, Travel, or Jobs.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:47 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 12:47 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's just like family, really - many of you give me a warm, fuzzy feeling whenever I see your names, a few of you I don't often think of between visits, and some of you fuckers I really don't like all that much, but I still choose to be with all y'all each and every year.
Also, none of you has ever given me a gift wrapped plastic pen, and for that I am very grateful.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:57 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
Also, none of you has ever given me a gift wrapped plastic pen, and for that I am very grateful.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:57 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
Projects - Print Your Own Ediable Papercraft LED Christmas Tree!
Music - Buttfuck Baby Santa Claus (remix)
Travel - What's the furthest distance I can get from my parents before I start coming back?
Jobs - Delivery boy needed. Must work nights. Location: Everywhere.
posted by The Whelk at 12:58 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
Music - Buttfuck Baby Santa Claus (remix)
Travel - What's the furthest distance I can get from my parents before I start coming back?
Jobs - Delivery boy needed. Must work nights. Location: Everywhere.
posted by The Whelk at 12:58 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
You know we can't close this thread until somebody pins Matt.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:03 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:03 PM on December 23, 2009
I got a lot of problems with you people.
What do you mean, "you people"?
posted by FishBike at 1:12 PM on December 23, 2009
What do you mean, "you people"?
posted by FishBike at 1:12 PM on December 23, 2009
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It's cool guys, I got the pole out of the crawl space.
posted by edbles at 1:19 PM on December 23, 2009 [6 favorites]
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It's cool guys, I got the pole out of the crawl space.
posted by edbles at 1:19 PM on December 23, 2009 [6 favorites]
The Story of Festivus
You will find the belief system fascinating.
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:25 PM on December 23, 2009
You will find the belief system fascinating.
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:25 PM on December 23, 2009
Hoochymomma! HOOCHYMOMMA!!!!
posted by Elmore at 1:28 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Elmore at 1:28 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
Dammit ericb! Now I have to air my grievances about you!
*Hangs grievances out*
They smell much fresher now, actually.
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:30 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
*Hangs grievances out*
They smell much fresher now, actually.
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:30 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
In honor of all my mefite pals, I made a donation in your names to The Human Fund.
Enjoy.
posted by NoraCharles at 1:43 PM on December 23, 2009 [5 favorites]
Enjoy.
posted by NoraCharles at 1:43 PM on December 23, 2009 [5 favorites]
This would be the place to air a grievance, that is for sure. Buon natale, everybody!
posted by fixedgear at 2:08 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by fixedgear at 2:08 PM on December 23, 2009
I had my annual Festivus party last weekend. Many Snapple-based alcoholic drinks were enjoyed by all.
posted by burnmp3s at 2:30 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by burnmp3s at 2:30 PM on December 23, 2009
I donated money to the Human League for their "Dignity of Labour" campaign.
I know, it's a British sythnpop band. But they'd done a lot to help a waitress from a cocktail bar over a period of five years, as I heard it, and that's the sort of activism I'm really happy to put my money behind.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:34 PM on December 23, 2009 [5 favorites]
I know, it's a British sythnpop band. But they'd done a lot to help a waitress from a cocktail bar over a period of five years, as I heard it, and that's the sort of activism I'm really happy to put my money behind.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:34 PM on December 23, 2009 [5 favorites]
Alright... grievances? You know what pisses me off? People who own ponies.
posted by crapmatic at 3:04 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by crapmatic at 3:04 PM on December 23, 2009
Astro Zombie, are you saying you *don't* want me, baby?
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on December 23, 2009
Festivus yes! Bagels no!
posted by Lobster Garden at 3:40 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by Lobster Garden at 3:40 PM on December 23, 2009
The Whelk: "Astro Zombie, are you saying you *don't* want me, baby"
You know, I can't believe it when you say that you don't need me.
posted by subbes at 3:43 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
You know, I can't believe it when you say that you don't need me.
posted by subbes at 3:43 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry.
posted by Elmore at 4:11 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by Elmore at 4:11 PM on December 23, 2009
Could we pleeeaaase try to remember that Metafilter is an international site and that Canadians celebrate Festivus in October? In the UK, the entire month of February is for the airing of grievances.
Festivus for the rest of us, my ass.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 4:37 PM on December 23, 2009 [8 favorites]
Festivus for the rest of us, my ass.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 4:37 PM on December 23, 2009 [8 favorites]
What the hell are you people talking about?
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:39 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:39 PM on December 23, 2009
Sorry about ruining your Festivus.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:10 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:10 PM on December 23, 2009
But they'd done a lot to help a waitress from a cocktail bar over a period of five years, as I heard it
That much is true.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:19 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
That much is true.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:19 PM on December 23, 2009 [2 favorites]
I have a grievance. Who the hell took my plums? They were in the refrigerator and I was saving them for my breakfast.
You know, you could have at least left a note.
posted by stennieville at 5:21 PM on December 23, 2009 [5 favorites]
You know, you could have at least left a note.
posted by stennieville at 5:21 PM on December 23, 2009 [5 favorites]
Could we pleeeaaase try to remember that Metafilter is an international site and that Canadians celebrate Festivus in October? In the UK, the entire month of February is for the airing of grievances.
Canadian here: shit, who knew? I've been saving up a whole bunch of grievances to be aired, and I missed it? Naw, Metafilter is an international site and Festivus is non-nationally based. Now, for those grievances....
posted by kch at 6:17 PM on December 23, 2009
Canadian here: shit, who knew? I've been saving up a whole bunch of grievances to be aired, and I missed it? Naw, Metafilter is an international site and Festivus is non-nationally based. Now, for those grievances....
posted by kch at 6:17 PM on December 23, 2009
I have a grievance.
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stennieville broke the Festivus pole, with that terrible This is Just to Say reference.
posted by edbles at 6:20 PM on December 23, 2009
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stennieville broke the Festivus pole, with that terrible This is Just to Say reference.
posted by edbles at 6:20 PM on December 23, 2009
Can any of you tell me where to find a nice Festivus pole?
posted by orange swan at 7:07 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by orange swan at 7:07 PM on December 23, 2009
Festivus Yes! Bagels No!
posted by SisterHavana at 7:25 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by SisterHavana at 7:25 PM on December 23, 2009
Festivus Poles: Made in Milwaukee A city known for its Very High Strength-to-Weight Ratio
posted by drezdn at 7:27 PM on December 23, 2009
posted by drezdn at 7:27 PM on December 23, 2009
I LOST THE BOX OF 2009 GIFT CARDS, BUT FOUND THE 2008 GIFT CARDS. HOPEFULLY NO ONE NOTICES.
IF THE DOG ATE THE ANTLERS, SHE OBVIOUSLY DID NOT WANT TO WEAR THEM. LET'S PASS ON THE SANTA HAT, SHALL WE?
YOU DON'T WEAR YOUR NEW DRESS PANTS OUT SLEDDING, ARE YOU CRAZY?
IF I HEAR THE SONG HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS ONE MORE TIME, I WILL TAKE BB SHOT TO ELVES.
EVERYONE DOES NOT NEED A HUG. SOME ANIMAL TRANQ DARTS AND A BLOW GUN, WORK JUST AS WELL.
Oh, I feel better now.
posted by FunkyHelix at 7:48 PM on December 23, 2009
IF THE DOG ATE THE ANTLERS, SHE OBVIOUSLY DID NOT WANT TO WEAR THEM. LET'S PASS ON THE SANTA HAT, SHALL WE?
YOU DON'T WEAR YOUR NEW DRESS PANTS OUT SLEDDING, ARE YOU CRAZY?
IF I HEAR THE SONG HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS ONE MORE TIME, I WILL TAKE BB SHOT TO ELVES.
EVERYONE DOES NOT NEED A HUG. SOME ANIMAL TRANQ DARTS AND A BLOW GUN, WORK JUST AS WELL.
Oh, I feel better now.
posted by FunkyHelix at 7:48 PM on December 23, 2009
edbles: stennieville broke the Festivus pole, with that terrible This is Just to Say reference.
Not to worry, for my Feat of Strength, I shall resurrect it.
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posted by stennieville at 9:20 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
Not to worry, for my Feat of Strength, I shall resurrect it.
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posted by stennieville at 9:20 PM on December 23, 2009 [1 favorite]
In the UK, the entire month of February is for the airing of grievances.
The rest of the year, they just quietly seethe and mutter to themselves, and make lists in anticipation of February.
posted by Infinite Jest at 12:25 AM on December 24, 2009
The rest of the year, they just quietly seethe and mutter to themselves, and make lists in anticipation of February.
posted by Infinite Jest at 12:25 AM on December 24, 2009
And a happy FestiChristmaHanukKwanzaa to you as well.
posted by IndigoRain at 12:40 AM on December 24, 2009
posted by IndigoRain at 12:40 AM on December 24, 2009
Happy Festivus! Tonight I celebrated Festivus complete with pole, cakes decorated with m&ms, the airing of grievances, and pretzels which made me very thirsty. It was pretty darn fun. Oh and we had some soup too. It was tasty soup served by a surly guy. Good lord, I'm a nerd and so are all my friends.
posted by dchrssyr at 1:18 AM on December 24, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by dchrssyr at 1:18 AM on December 24, 2009 [2 favorites]
Also, none of you has ever given me a gift wrapped plastic pen, and for that I am very grateful.
Well, bollocks. Anyone got Santa's email real quick?
posted by Sparx at 4:39 AM on December 24, 2009
Well, bollocks. Anyone got Santa's email real quick?
posted by Sparx at 4:39 AM on December 24, 2009
FFF... BB shot is a small size shot used in a shotgun shell, usually used for hunting bird (quail, etc).. when used on elves it is typically not fatal (unless you are about two feet away).. It will discourage behavior.
Personally, I would use slugs...
posted by HuronBob at 7:41 AM on December 24, 2009
Personally, I would use slugs...
posted by HuronBob at 7:41 AM on December 24, 2009
For some reason I woke up today with the most and pressing desire to bake cake. Ihave never baked a cake, or indeed, anything ever before. I blame cold medication.
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 AM on December 24, 2009
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 AM on December 24, 2009
Could we pleeeaaase try to remember that Metafilter is an international site and that Canadians celebrate Festivus in October?
Except in Quebec, where they celebrate Fête des Fous.
"Fête des Fous for the rest of nous!"
posted by Kabanos at 8:20 AM on December 24, 2009 [3 favorites]
Except in Quebec, where they celebrate Fête des Fous.
"Fête des Fous for the rest of nous!"
posted by Kabanos at 8:20 AM on December 24, 2009 [3 favorites]
"Fête des Fous for the rest of nous!"
*hits Kabanos over the head with a sack of thin bagels*
posted by The Whelk at 8:29 AM on December 24, 2009
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posted by Iridic at 12:09 PM on December 23, 2009