Greasy Honky Pie

April 3, 2010 6:57 AM

So I have to know, has anyone tried making the Greasy Honky Pie yet? I'm not sure I want to be the first, but by gum I'll do it for the MeFi nation if no one else will...
posted by WinnipegDragon to MetaFilter-Related at 6:57 AM (67 comments total)

That recipe scares me.
posted by The Whelk at 7:46 AM on April 3, 2010

Scary like a roller coaster.

The kind that goes upside down in the dark.

And stops there.

*must resist. I know what it will do to me.
posted by SLC Mom at 7:56 AM on April 3, 2010

Actually, a good friend of mine's Mom made this for him a couple weeks ago and he said he was going to give me the recipe. He enjoyed the hell out of it and seems like a pretty happy guy. (He is in a minimum security prison, and she fixed this for him while he was home on a weekend pass so his bar for "food" is rather low at this time. He even likes my cooking.)
posted by marxchivist at 8:03 AM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

WinnipegDragon, if that looks intriguing to you, go for it. I'd say that the world is divided into two kinds of people: People who look at an ingredient list containing ground beef, tater tots, boxed Mac 'N Cheese, and taco seasoning and say "Yum" and People who say "Blurgh." I am definitely in the "Blurgh" category.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:04 AM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

There's a ringing endorsement: better than prison food.
posted by the bricabrac man at 8:06 AM on April 3, 2010 [13 favorites]

Greasy Honky Pie: Surveys show 10 out of 10 prisoners prefer this over Nutraloaf.
posted by marxchivist at 8:07 AM on April 3, 2010

Better than NutraLoaf, yup.
posted by Floydd at 8:08 AM on April 3, 2010

Do it.
posted by Sailormom at 8:16 AM on April 3, 2010

I am definitely in the "Blurgh" category.

Oh, where is your sense of adventure?!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 8:31 AM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'd make it and feed it to my kids, but we're gluten free. I don't think GF mac 'n' cheese substitute would work, it's just not the same as the Kraft stuff.

It fully sounds like something my mom would have read in a magazine and fed us back in the 80's.
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:36 AM on April 3, 2010

Even though we routinely had MacEncheez with cut up hot dogs (or Spam) as a child, that recipe is too much. That said, I've probably had meals with most or all of those ingredients separated out on the plate.
posted by DU at 8:41 AM on April 3, 2010

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.
posted by Wallace Shawn at 8:55 AM on April 3, 2010 [6 favorites]

Oh, where is your sense of adventure?!

Not in processed food apparently. What would be the opposite of "a party in my mouth"? Whatever the opposite of that is, that's what I think a Greasy Honky Pie would be.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:00 AM on April 3, 2010

A funeral in your butt?
posted by lore at 9:59 AM on April 3, 2010 [34 favorites]

Or 'A Riot in your Colon?'

Any recipe that measures by the fuckton should be tried.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 10:07 AM on April 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

I thought you were kidding but I went back and read that you add "a fuckton of cheese." I'm really not opposed to the idea of a fuckton cheese-- I am in the habit of adding freshly grated Parmesan ...and then adding some more freshly grated Parmesan. I do love good cheese. The thought of marrying a fuckton of good cheese to some tater tots and ground beef makes me sad, though. That doesn't sound like wedded bliss, more like a match made in the ovens of Hell's Kitchen.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 10:48 AM on April 3, 2010

SLoG, you seem to be hung up on the concept that something must be good to be experienced. If this was the case, there would be no High Schools.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:02 AM on April 3, 2010 [6 favorites]

I would eat that, which would probably explain why my cholesterol levels are high enough to give doctors heart attacks just from looking at the numbers.

This one-liner will be much less funny after my first heart attack.
posted by loquacious at 11:04 AM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Or last heart attack, whichever comes first.
posted by loquacious at 11:05 AM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

_{Why can't it be both?}
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:15 AM on April 3, 2010

If I can pull my act together enough to get to the store this afternoon, Greasy Honky Pie is on the menu a Chez Carson tonite. Thanks for the reminder!
posted by carsonb at 11:23 AM on April 3, 2010

Greasy Honky Pie

Best. Strawberry Shortcake character. Ever.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:25 AM on April 3, 2010 [15 favorites]

Better than NutraLoaf, yup.

Aww, I was hoping for Nutria.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:29 AM on April 3, 2010

Oh shutup ya buncha freakin snobbers. Sheesh. Sounds tasty. I will make it and enjoy it not even bother to take pictures to share with ya.

Hearty food is at the core of my soul. Actually, I've done pretty much this exact thing minus the taco seasoning, cumin isn't my favorite.

BUT...if this inspires blegh from you, well...I hope you enjoy your tofu and beansprout dairy free fritatas.

And yes, mostly hamburger. But don't be a snob about what someone else eats, it's unbecoming.
posted by TomMelee at 11:43 AM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

It helps to fiber-load the morning before. Like, a lot. FYI.

In my defense, this recipe kind of invented itself one cold, damp winter in Spain, when my ex and I spent about 4 weeks hand-clearing a 300-meter firebreak radius around our house in preparation for what turned out to be one of the driest summers on record. After 7 hours of flailing about impotently with an ancient scythe, some rusty shears, and a spade, you really just want to eat something that immediately turns your blood into rendered beef fat. Especially after the dog runs away to chase sheep with the little red wagon/plowshare still macgyver'd to his butt.
posted by elizardbits at 11:43 AM on April 3, 2010 [9 favorites]

elizardbits,

Your recipe needs no excuse. It stands alone as a beacon to others.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:46 AM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I hope you enjoy your tofu and beansprout dairy free fritatas.

But don't be a snob about what someone else eats, it's unbecoming.

Snarkician, snark thyself.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:48 AM on April 3, 2010 [6 favorites]

Please make the recipe! Please please take photos of it, and yourself eating it! I can imagine trying a vegan version. We need more tater tot recipes.
posted by amtho at 12:35 PM on April 3, 2010

It stands alone as a beacon to others.

A big, fat, glutinous, delicious beacon.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:38 PM on April 3, 2010

Along the same lines, I recently made this recipe on a dare:

FRENCH FRY SPAM CASSEROLE

1 pk frozen french fries, thawed (20 oz)
2 c Shredded Cheddar cheese
2 c Sour cream
1 cn Condensed cream of chicken soup (10 3/4 oz)
1 cn SPAM Luncheon Meat, cubed (12 oz)
1/2 c Chopped red bell pepper
1/2 c Chopped green onion
1/2 c Finely crushed corn flakes

Heat oven to 350'F. In large bowl, combine potatoes, cheese, sour
cream, and soup. Stir in SPAM, bell pepper, and green onion. Spoon
into 13x9" baking dish. Sprinkle with crushed flakes. Bake 30-40
minutes or until thoroughly heated. Serves 8.

Though I probably won’t be making it again, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the ingredient list would imply. I was expecting an unspeakably dense casserole, but it was actually a lot lighter than that. It was more like a complicated potato au gratin than anything else.

The dish actually tasted quite a bit like a big heaping serving of Waffle House’s Scattered, Smothered, Chunked, And Topped Hash Browns, which in my book is a mark in the dish’s favor. The other victim subjected to this dish said that—with the cheese, sour cream, and vegetables—it had a certain omelet quality.

The SPAM, needless to say, was the one unnecessary part of the recipe. It wasn’t that bad, really (one little can in a huge casserole dish isn’t really a lot) but it didn’t need to be in there. I think maybe this recipe came from one of those hateful White Trash cookbooks from the 90s--you know, something like Poor People Are Funny!: Recipes From The Trailer Park--'cuz that’s the only reason I see for the SPAM being there. It's not that bad, but I’d definitely leave it out. I guess you could replace it with turkey or a can of bean-free chili, but frankly the last thing this recipe really needs is more of anything.

The french fries aren’t that weird (under all that cheese and sauce, they’re just potatoes) and the corn flakes are actually a nice crunchy touch, and they’re smashed up so much they’re pretty unrecognizable.

More tips: Brown the french fries in the oven for added crispiness…the recipe as is just warms them. I’d also double the amount of vegetables, but leave the dish in the oven a little longer so they cook. Oh…and have the Tabasco bottle or the sriracha handy. Believe it or not, the recipe is actually a little bland.
posted by Ian A.T. at 12:42 PM on April 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

Please make the recipe! Please please take photos of it, and yourself eating it! I can imagine trying a vegan version. We need more tater tot recipes.

Actually we are vegetarian so I'd be making a veggie ground round version of it. I might have to add more cheese to it to balance it out.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 12:49 PM on April 3, 2010

Speaking of tots, there's an entire restaurant here that serves nothing but fancy hot dogs and tots.

(Look at the menu at this link, you will cry).

Oh, and recently, our local grilled cheese restaurant was on Food TV.

Cleveland: we're pretty much Greasy Honky Pie all 'round.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:59 PM on April 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

This sounds like the Minnesota specialty that is Tater Tot Hotdish. I am informed that at the MN state fair, you can find hotdish on a stick.
posted by hindmost at 2:53 PM on April 3, 2010

I kept reading this as "Greasy Monkey Pie," and I was very afraid to click and see what the hell people were talking about....
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:31 PM on April 3, 2010

I visited Happy Dog last month--they also serve fries.
posted by box at 3:35 PM on April 3, 2010

The recipe just made me sad (maybe Jaimie Oliver is my familiar), but this thread is hilarious. Funeral in my butt indeed.
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:45 PM on April 3, 2010

Also, Cleveland is a great town for fancified bar food, which is pretty much my favorite kind of food in the world.
posted by box at 4:35 PM on April 3, 2010

Hm. Needs ketchup.
posted by electroboy at 5:17 PM on April 3, 2010

Look, I didn't want to say anything in thread, but, um...

Here in North Florida, we never use an oven for Greasy Honky Pie. We make it in disposable aluminum pie pans, and we heat it on the exhaust manifolds of our pickup trucks, while goin' to get the beer...

And that hamburger recommendation is {HAMBURGER}. Why waste good beef by-products on Greasy Honky Pie, if you've got a shotgun, and can get a fat 15 pound 'coon, for the price of shotgun shell? Go wit de other 'gredients, as ya like, but you're missin' a lot of chili powder and hot sauce, not to mention a pound of salt, by North Florida standards...
posted by paulsc at 6:49 PM on April 3, 2010

Speaking of Nutraloaf, did anybody have the pleasure of being taken on a "field trip" to county jail while in school? This sounds like a sick joke to most people I mention it to but I distinctively remember a class trip to the county jail.

This trip was not a tour of the outside of the jail. Oh no. They took us into the jail, into the cellblocks, all the time being taunted by the local inmates. Looking back on it it was bizarre as all hell - a bunch of 7th grade Catholic schoolkids watching Maury on the television in one of the cell blocks with some of the inmates.

We were shown the local version of "Nutraloaf," and somebody tried it. Probably wasn't too good. We also had a nice showcase of shanks'n'stuff taken from prisoners in the past couple of months. And then we went to court and watched a couple of people get sentenced. 'Tis where I first learned how bail bonds worked and what "$10,000 or 10%" meant.

Looking back, it was extremely eye opening and definitely had some "scared straight" overtones to it. But the humor of a bunch of uniformed kiddies roaming around the county jail, oh boy!
posted by deacon_blues at 7:33 PM on April 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

"field trip" to county jail

Where did you grow up cause holy shit that sounds terrifying. We just had ex-cons talk to us about not doing drugs and staying in school.
posted by The Whelk at 7:40 PM on April 3, 2010

As tater-tot casseroles go, that sounds delicious. But then again, I was raised in Minnesota and despite my best efforts, cannot escape my hotdish heritage. My husband drops hints ALL THE TIME - "wouldn't this be better with tater tots on it?"

I once attended a Thanksgiving dinner at which every item served was a form of hotdish. Including the salad.
posted by beandip at 7:55 PM on April 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

I make chili-mac all the time, can of chili, box of Annie's mac. But I've never thought about puttin' my 'taters in there.
posted by BrotherCaine at 8:14 PM on April 3, 2010

Metafilter: "Wouldn't this be better with tater tots on it?"
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:29 PM on April 3, 2010

BUT...if this inspires blegh from you, well...I hope you enjoy your tofu and beansprout dairy free fritatas.


Last night's dinner: Pork chops sautéd in butter and garlic; fresh broccoli lightly steamed, served with hollandaise sauce; newly baked Parker House rolls. No tofu, no beansprouts. Although, come to think about it, what do you have against tofu and beansprouts? In stir fries they are excellent.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:08 AM on April 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

This actually looks pretty good to me, but I don't eat meat anymore. I grew up on Cheesy-Frito-Chicken casserole so I'm more excited than repulsed, especially by the tater tot crust.
posted by chairface at 8:47 AM on April 4, 2010

In my defense, this recipe kind of invented itself one cold, damp winter in Spain, when my ex and I spent about 4 weeks hand-clearing a 300-meter firebreak radius around our house in preparation for what turned out to be one of the driest summers on record. After 7 hours of flailing about impotently with an ancient scythe, some rusty shears, and a spade, you really just want to eat something that immediately turns your blood into rendered beef fat. Especially after the dog runs away to chase sheep with the little red wagon/plowshare still macgyver'd to his butt.

Your life is either more or less fun than mine.
posted by emilyd22222 at 11:09 AM on April 4, 2010

I went to a progressive school where we went to a university laboratory and saw mice that had been given different illegal drugs. The mice that were given speed ran round and round in little circles. I'm not sure whether this scared us into sobriety or not.

I then was transferred to a less progressive school. The cafeteria served food such as you describe.
posted by acrasis at 1:50 PM on April 4, 2010

Repeated for emphasis of its utter perfection:


". . .With the little red wagon/plowshare still macgyver'd to his butt."


Screw "cellar door." This is the most beautiful phrase in the English language.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 3:58 PM on April 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

Pics or it never happened.
posted by Jilder at 4:16 AM on April 5, 2010

Wait, am I reading right that ain't no one on here made it yet? Hells bells, I'll make it this week!

Can I add garlic to the mashed potatoes, or would that be too frou-frou? I just dig garlic mashed potatoes.
posted by Greg Nog at 11:16 AM on April 5, 2010

Good lord, how did I miss a mac and cheese thread?
posted by jquinby at 2:08 PM on April 5, 2010

I'm officially making this tonight. For guests. God help us all.

Pictures to follow.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 11:11 AM on April 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 9:57 PM on April 10, 2010 [5 favorites]

Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Your ideas intrigue me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by jquinby at 6:27 AM on April 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Okay, my review of Greasy Honky Pie:

I'm not sure that it's as greasy as expected, but it was still greasy. I attribute this to using veggie beef instead of plain old ground round. It was overall pretty tasty, and ladling on some hot sauce made it even better.

I opted not to do the top layer of tots, but instead studded the mashed potato layer with encrusting jewels of tot. I think this was a good idea as they got super crispy and then you had little chunks of crisp sticking out of the cheese layer.

This became the centrepiece of our 'Greasy Honky' dinner with friends, and it was paired with such delicacies as:

- Tetrapak Wine
- Tang
- Jellied Coleslaw
- Ice Cream Sandwich Sundae Cake

Everyone had seconds on the pie. Everyone. You are talking about six grown, super-liberal, vegetarian Canadians here. It went over big. They took some home for their daughter.

Hail the pie!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 7:50 AM on April 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: Making shit real since 2000.
posted by The Whelk at 8:11 AM on April 11, 2010

Jellied Coleslaw

That makes the "pie" sound downright appealing. Urgh . . . will someone please hold my hair?
posted by theredpen at 8:11 AM on April 11, 2010

I had planned to decorate with Nascar photos and Nobama protest signs, but I ran out of time :(
posted by WinnipegDragon at 8:26 AM on April 11, 2010

That looks both gross and delicious at the same time. When and if you make it again, you can have "White Trash Queso":

1 can Ro-Tel, as spicy as you can handle.
1 lb block Velveeta.
1 crockpot.

01. Cube Velveeta into 1/4-inch cubes.
02. Put Ro-Tel and Velveeta in crockpot.
03. Heat in crockpot, stirring occasionally. We normally heat on low so it doesn't burn but you can do it faster if you have no patience. It's too hot if the cheese starts forming a skin.
04. Serve with Doritos (plain) or Fritos (plain) and the cheap beer of your choice.

If you're ambitious, or want to completely fry your arteries, you can also fry up some ground beef with a packet of taco mix and add that too.

This is the genuine deal as served in the 1970s when I was a kid, which is why I occasionally still want to eat it.
posted by immlass at 8:53 AM on April 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

That's sort of like the Queso I make for NFL draft day. It's a tradition! Mine has salsa, white onion and (veggie) chorizo.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 8:56 AM on April 11, 2010

Oh and since I just started play Dwarf Fortress again:

elizardbits has created a masterpiece!

Dairyish Taterino: "The Heart Stopping"
This is a fatty food product. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with cheddar, tater tots, noodles and beef. This item menaces with spikes of tater tot. On the item is an image of gastrointestinal pain.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 9:40 AM on April 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

WinnipegDragon, I salute you!
posted by Greg Nog at 12:28 PM on April 11, 2010

The appropriate name for Rotel + Velveeta is Texas Cheese Dip, in my experience. Does that make "White Trash" and "Texas" synonyms? So be it. That shit is delicious, especially when you add taco meat.
posted by MadamM at 2:42 PM on April 11, 2010

That looks both gross and delicious at the same time. When and if you make it again, you can have "White Trash Queso

One of the florists brought that in in a crockpot this past Valentine's Day week. Complete with ground beef and fritos.

Stuff like that is what makes those floral hell weeks bearable.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 2:46 PM on April 11, 2010

The appropriate name for Rotel + Velveeta is Texas Cheese Dip, in my experience. Does that make "White Trash" and "Texas" synonyms? So be it. That shit is delicious, especially when you add taco meat.

As a native Texan myself, I suspect it's "white trash" because it's gringo queso made with gringo ingredients as opposed to decent cheese like queso fresco or even Monterey Jack. But QFT on the deliciousness.

I think I need to add some ingredients to my shopping list for Monday now.
posted by immlass at 4:21 PM on April 11, 2010

White Trash Queso is the food of my nightmares.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:08 AM on April 12, 2010