Those who do not care about their reputations May 20, 2010 2:12 PM   Subscribe

What do the mods do with AskMe posts that aren't anonymous, but really should be?

There's a recent post on the green that I'm not going to link to out of respect for the asker, but it essentially divulged some very personal information about him and his marriage. It was associated with his MeFi account, and his real name is plainly stated on his profile.

Maybe it was an accident, and he'll be in touch with the mods shortly to have the post anonymized... but what if he doesn't? Is there a policy about this? If a post really should be, but the person who created it doesn't request that, will the mods ever do it anyway? If it stays attributed to its author, and the author later suffers as a direct consequence to that inaction, can the site be held liable for not doing something when they could have?

I flagged this particular AskMe as "other" but that's not exactly clear or helpful. What should I, as a user, do in this situation?

On Preview: I see the poster has expressed a desire to anonymize the post. Great! But I'm still curious for future reference.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis to Etiquette/Policy at 2:12 PM (49 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

We may drop the poster a line in a really exceptionally problematic-seeming situation. Fundamentally, it's their call, and we will not anonymize their question if they don't ask to have it anonymized.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:15 PM on May 20, 2010


People can drop the poster a note and suggest to them that the post should be anonymous, but unless we think they're doing some sort of messed up performace art, we leave it be.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:16 PM on May 20, 2010


Maybe they (OP) want it that way? Non anon I mean.
posted by fixedgear at 2:18 PM on May 20, 2010


Also, as much as I can understand the desire to want to help someone out, I'm not sure it's really so great to throw a bunch of "YOU HAVE TO HAVE THIS ANONYMIZED" stuff into an askme; getting ahold of the asker directly via email or mefimail is generally a better plan and keeps the question a little more focused on getting answered instead of promoting a sidebar avalanche of "yeah, anonymize it!" stuff, especially given that this has happened on more than one occasion in which the asker ended up clearly stating that they felt no need to be anonymous.

Which isn't really any one person's fault, it's a collective-reaction thing and so it's hard to know what to do about it exactly, but insofar as any one person can contribute to that not happening I'd appreciate that stuff being taken care of more through email as a heads up (to the poster, to us) than as a public discussion of the post itself in the thread.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:21 PM on May 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


I think the current system as described here by the mods works just fine.
posted by valkyryn at 2:24 PM on May 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


Good suggestion, cortex. However (and this is pure speculation) it seems that if someone isn't sufficiently experienced on MetaFilter to post anonymously in the first place, they're likely to overlook a new MeMail message entirely, or not spot it until it's too late. But they're guaranteed to keep checking the question thread...

Rephrasing: If they willingly choose not to anonymize their posts, then the matter isn't very important. On the other hand, if their failure to anonymize is because of user error, it could be very important to bring that to their attention. And posting about it in the thread is the most direct way to do that when you're dealing with someone who may be error-prone.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:30 PM on May 20, 2010


I don't care what you say, it's hard to tell who it is in that video.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:31 PM on May 20, 2010


And posting about it in the thread is the most direct way to do that when you're dealing with someone who may be error-prone.

And if it stops at a single "by the way..." comment, I think that's generally okay. The cascade is more of a problem, so folks in the nthing game should please consider just skipping that if it's already been mentioned.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:37 PM on May 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


^ We wouldn't have this problem if there was an "I Agree" button in AskMe.

But she's such a pretty pony, isn't she?
posted by jabberjaw at 2:45 PM on May 20, 2010 [6 favorites]


Well said, thanks for the answers. :-)
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:45 PM on May 20, 2010


I'm going to close this up now.

...I always wanted to say that.
posted by not_on_display at 3:03 PM on May 20, 2010


An added wrinkle with the post this one describes is that it divulged personal details of a third party who would be easily identifiable from the OP's profile and question.
posted by availablelight at 3:07 PM on May 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


the author later suffers as a direct consequence to that inaction, can the site be held liable for not doing something when they could have?

Oh come on. If this were a remotely feasible basis for a suit then Facebook would have been sued into oblivion by now.
posted by Rhomboid at 3:12 PM on May 20, 2010


Do the mods have a policy for when they feel a little sad when they read a post?
What are the mods favorite colors?
Does Jessamyn like brownies? Even while she's reading mod emails?
What is the policy towards terrapin discrimination?
Has cortex ever spackled a joist?
When the mods sleep, do they dream in color?
After a large MeTa scrolls of the page, do cortex and jess highfive over the internet?
What stance do the mods take in bread/ bun controversy vis-a-vis hotdogs?
Do the mods ever not like a post?
Does jessamyn still live in that lake?
cortex what happens after you die?


aaaaaaugh
posted by boo_radley at 3:13 PM on May 20, 2010 [13 favorites]


"You don't scare me, that could be anyone's ass!"
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:22 PM on May 20, 2010


1. I stop reading that thread. This is complicated on some occasions when I have a professional obligation to not stop reading said thread.
2. I like blues and greys a lot, but I'm bad at picking favorite things.
3. N/A
4. terrapin just better watch himself is all I'm saying
5. Maybe. I've spackled, and I've interacted with joists. Let's leave it at that.
6. When I finally get to sleep / I dream in technicolor.
7. It's more like when you finally stop having a headache and you only realize later on that it's gone.
8. A bun is a hotdog's natural habitat, but the hotdog is not a judgemental creature and adapts well to other climates.
9. Frequently.
10. Seems like it, yeah.
11. The dead man's switch fires and destroys the whole world.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:22 PM on May 20, 2010 [14 favorites]


An added wrinkle with the post this one describes is that it divulged personal details of a third party who would be easily identifiable from the OP's profile and question.

This. What if the original asker hadn't ultimately chosen to anonymize the post? He made a post, associated with his real name and location, that revealed very personal details of his wife's past. If the wife found the post would she be able to contact the mods to have it anonymized and/or deleted? And would they do so, even though she wasn't the original poster and/or even if she wasn't a member?

Has anything like that ever come up before regarding the posting of identifiable details that could be damaging to a third party?
posted by amyms at 3:37 PM on May 20, 2010


I can recall dimly a couple occasions where we've heard from some third party about something on the site. If it's a reasonable request about something rather starkly problematic (touchy personal details, misrepresentation, something like that) we'll try to find a good solution, probably starting with getting in contact with the person responsible for the post/comment in the first place if possible.

It does not come up frequently at all, certainly not enough for us to have developed a firm general policy we can layout beyond "let us know and we'll take a look".
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:43 PM on May 20, 2010


Do the mods have a policy for when they feel a little sad when they read a post?
What are the mods favorite colors?
Does Jessamyn like brownies? Even while she's reading mod emails?
What is the policy towards terrapin discrimination?
Has cortex ever spackled a joist?
When the mods sleep, do they dream in color?
After a large MeTa scrolls of the page, do cortex and jess highfive over the internet?
What stance do the mods take in bread/ bun controversy vis-a-vis hotdogs?
Do the mods ever not like a post?
Does jessamyn still live in that lake?
cortex what happens after you die?


Could we have answers to these please? It's been a long week.

Also: what do you do with anonymous questions that really shouldn't be? Do you reject anon submissions because there's no reason you can see that they should be anonymous?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:46 PM on May 20, 2010


The answer to all the questions is fried green tomatoes
posted by The Whelk at 4:01 PM on May 20, 2010


This may not add anything, but I have similar sentiments to The Winsome and Amyms.

I know the post that The Winsome is referring to and was similarly bothered to read that the poster left a name, etc., openly listed in the profile. Do I care about the OP in that question? No, it is easy to see that the person is an absolute train wreck and it is only a matter of time (probably everyone reading the thread can see the oncoming trains).

However, I pity either his wife or children possibly learning about their so-called partner/father.

There have been other posts in metafilter that I wonder what is running through a poster’s head, especially when they provide elaborate details about a workplace or home and then openly leave a name in the profile. Again, it isn’t the poster that I feel pity for – it is the other people who may not want the details of their lives displayed in a public forum.

Aaaand maybe it is just me who has a problem, here. Similar to “turn of the TV”, I just need to step away from metafilter for a bit.
posted by Wolfster at 4:01 PM on May 20, 2010 [1 favorite]


also what is the Metatalk bingo pool up to?
posted by boo_radley at 5:13 PM on May 20, 2010


I flagged that question too, mostly because there are several people who aren't the OP who are also implicitly exposed through his question. I think waiting for the OP to ask to make a question anonymous is fine if the question only concerns the OP. ("I have this giant rash on my crotch, what's up with that?") In this case there are other people who would be affected by leaving the question alone.
posted by chunking express at 5:36 PM on May 20, 2010


1. I go play with my plants or go walk outside.
2. oranges and greens for me
3. I try to eat decently so I guess the answer is that I like brownies in moderation [!!]
4. I had lunch with him today, he seems fine
5. no
6. who doesn't. doesn't everyone?
7. sometimes I ask cortex's permission to remove something from recent activity. I have no idea what is or is not on the front page
8. there's a controversy? I like hotdogs, and breads.
9. all the time, the fact that you have to ask means we're doing okay with hiding it.
10. according to the google, yes.
11. this is one of those turtle flipping over questions isn't it?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 5:50 PM on May 20, 2010 [6 favorites]


I'm the guy they are posting about when the responses are DTMFA.

Every one of them.
posted by vapidave at 5:50 PM on May 20, 2010


For those of you unaware, a Metatalk bingo is going a full day with no metatalk posts.
posted by boo_radley at 6:07 PM on May 20, 2010


Durn Bronzefest - I had an anon posting rejected this week for a few reasons. One of the reasons given was the question of why it would be an anonymous post. Since my query was somewhat political in nature, I felt it best to post it without my name.
posted by mnb64 at 6:40 PM on May 20, 2010


Stop that, it tickles!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:40 PM on May 20, 2010


11. this is one of those turtle flipping over questions isn't it?

The spammer posts another link, its crapulence tainting the front page. The users want him banned, but you're not banning him--

-- What do you mean I'm not banning him?

I mean you're not banning him. Why is that, Jessamyn?

*takes drag on cigarette*

In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke... an emotional response. Shall we continue? Describe in single words, only the good things that come in to your mind about... matthowie.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 6:45 PM on May 20, 2010 [7 favorites]


11. The dead man's switch fires and destroys the whole world.

LOL. I can understand how it might seem that way from your perspective, grasshopper.
posted by Meatbomb at 7:01 PM on May 20, 2010


I think if cortex dies... I GET HIS BUNK.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:04 PM on May 20, 2010


What about the banjo?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:06 PM on May 20, 2010


Oh right, shit, the banjo gets cortex's bunk.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:09 PM on May 20, 2010 [6 favorites]


Cortex has his own Bunk? He must deal with a lot of crime.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:32 PM on May 20, 2010


CORTEX'S HAUNTED BANJO!


dah dun dun dun dun dah dun dun dun
posted by The Whelk at 7:48 PM on May 20, 2010


ROU_Xenophobe writes "Cortex has his own Bunk?"

There's a Firefly joke in there but I can't quite form it.
posted by Mitheral at 8:04 PM on May 20, 2010 [3 favorites]


The Whelk: "CORTEX'S HAUNTED BANJO!"

Yes, but you have to stay in it overnight.
posted by boo_radley at 8:32 PM on May 20, 2010


Does jessamyn still live in that lake?

I want you all to know I laughed so hard I almost peed, and I don't need that fact to be anonymized. I had no idea about the google thing, so I pictured a lady in the lake thing going on there.
posted by davejay at 10:20 PM on May 20, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's not a lady in the lake thing?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:20 AM on May 21, 2010


Jessamyn grants magic swords to people on the side. Metafilter doesn;t pay all the bills ya'know.
posted by The Whelk at 7:21 AM on May 21, 2010


What is the policy towards terrapin discrimination?

A turtle isn't yourself. Why do you care about it?

Sorry, I thought I was still in the Futurama thread.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:55 AM on May 21, 2010


I thought it was a Wire joke, but then I'm gritty. (Need to get that looked at).
posted by arcticseal at 12:08 PM on May 21, 2010


It's not a lady in the lake thing?

Google Maps thinks that Jessamyn's town is in the middle of a lake. And has done for quite some time. See here, for example.
posted by Infinite Jest at 2:24 PM on May 21, 2010


The thing is: in reality, there's a river that runs through Jessamyn's town. Kinda makes you think, doesn't it? About who's really in the lake.

I'd say it's all of us, a little bit.

This has been your Surreal Obfuscation Moment sponsored by Not-in-the-River Fiddlehead Flakes
posted by not_on_display at 2:32 PM on May 21, 2010


Yes, there's a bit of a river of something in all of us.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:09 PM on May 21, 2010


Where is Jessamyn?
posted by The Whelk at 4:21 PM on May 21, 2010


"Does jessamyn still live in that lake?"

"10. according to the google, yes."


Ok, now this is important - is there a sword in your closet? -Oh rats, someone got there already. Bah, I'm too slow....
posted by batgrlHG at 11:14 PM on May 21, 2010


*looks around, goes back to drinking*
posted by terrapin at 4:25 AM on May 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


i like turtles
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:23 PM on May 22, 2010


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