come in from the cold !

July 31, 2010 3:21 PM

All Mefi Cia operatives - you have been compromised by Blazecock Pileon - please hand yourselves into this post for debriefing.

I really wonder if some users on Metafilter and other sites are fed talking points to criticize Wikileaks and Assange with, because in the last thread on this issue, I read someone using the "double game" talking point well before it was used elsewhere. It ended up in on NPR later in the afternoon in an interview with a military official who was criticizing Wikileaks and Pakistan. That same "double game" phrasing only ended up in the mainstream media two or three days later, so it wasn't some term that had been regurgitated elsewhere before it ended up here. I wouldn't be surprised at all to hear there was a low-level smear campaign in place, where people are compensated for planting misinformation and viral phrasing.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:36 AM on July 31

Now this could be serious stuff, are there really cia agents on metafilter ? Are they allowed to double post ?
I think this is an area of policy we havent really covered yet and deserves serious discussion. If there were cia people on mefi, surely jess, matt and cortex would know - would they tell us ?
Indeed Matt may now be working for the man as we speak
- I think we should be told.

(if this thread is deleted - i will unleash an encrypted file of cortex playing kenny g covers)

posted by sgt.serenity to Etiquette/Policy at 3:21 PM (192 comments total)

*grabs a beer*
posted by mr.marx at 3:26 PM on July 31, 2010

This thread will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...
posted by mr.marx at 3:26 PM on July 31, 2010

I keep my official CIA credentials under my tinfoil hat. Nobody will ever look for it there.

Also, I don't think metafilter is important or relevant enough to have infiltrating govt agents...although some people on here will disagree. And it's probably the people who use words like "intelligent" do describe themselves and the site.
posted by hal_c_on at 3:27 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

If its taken off, we will all be quite aware that cortex or jess are WORKING FOR THE MAN
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:28 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

I have to admit, before it comes out somewhere else, one of my kids works for the CIA...
posted by HuronBob at 3:28 PM on July 31, 2010

So what if I've worked for the CIA? What's so wrong with providing security for those at home?
posted by djgh at 3:31 PM on July 31, 2010

I have to admit, before it comes out somewhere else, one of my kids works for the CIA...

Ask that kid what a "liability" is, and tell him/her how u told everyone on the internets.
posted by hal_c_on at 3:31 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Me, I spy for the FBI.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:32 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

I have no idea what you're trying to accomplish here. Are you just bored? Or high?
posted by ODiV at 3:34 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

I do get paid for my comments on Metafilter. I thought we all did.
posted by found missing at 3:35 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

...Migs?...
posted by languagehat at 3:36 PM on July 31, 2010

The mods are providing security at Chelsea Clinton's wedding, but have not revealed for whom they're working.
posted by lukemeister at 3:38 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

This thread will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...

I've got the brick!
posted by phunniemee at 3:38 PM on July 31, 2010

For the record, people who parrot this talking point are trolls or people on the payroll of the CIA, or both.

Seriously, if you're going to call Assange a liar on the payroll of Rupert Murdoch or equivalent, put up some facts.
posted to MetaFilter by Blazecock Pileon at 12:58 AM on July 31, 2010 [11 favorites +]

The lesson, as always, is agree with BP or you're a troll. Or a CIA agent. Or work for Microsoft.
posted by loquax at 3:40 PM on July 31, 2010 [19 favorites]

This is like trolling squared.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:41 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

The lesson, as always, is agree with BP or you're a troll. Or a CIA agent. Or work for Microsoft.

. . . or BP made a half (maybe a third)-serious comment that was related in thread, on topic, not something to do with mac vs pc, yet still gets called out because he's a visible user who disagrees with you?
posted by Think_Long at 3:42 PM on July 31, 2010 [5 favorites]

Blazecock, the check is in the mail. I repeat, the check is in the mail.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 3:44 PM on July 31, 2010

Well, we know that Israel plants cybershills around the net, don't we? You've seen that story, right? So why shouldn't the CIA do the same with MeFi?

Oh right... because they'd do reddit and Digg first, since those sites get much more traffic.

I'm joking, I'm joking. Metafilter obviously has a much more intelligent and influential user base than reddit and Digg. Clearly the CIA would infiltrate those sites first.

Good Lord, this whisky is excellent. May I recommend the Islay single malts to you, good people? They really are quite something.
posted by Decani at 3:46 PM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

"What's the frequency, Kenneth Mathowie???"
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 3:50 PM on July 31, 2010 [6 favorites]

I think a lot of us get paid to comment on MetaFilter. It's just that the people paying us don't realize it.
posted by decagon at 3:51 PM on July 31, 2010 [76 favorites]

I interviewed for a job with the CIA when I was a senior in college. When the interview was drawing to a close, the interviewer asked if I had any questions, so I asked why they'd mined harbors in Nicaragua. The interview ended abruptly and I was not offered a callback. Or was I?
posted by rtha at 3:53 PM on July 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

I've never worked for them but somebody did ask me to hack the CIA once. It's OK though, he worked for the NSA. Oh, and that other time the guy at the UN wanted the same thing. Basically, people are always asking me to hack the CIA. It gets annoying after a while.
posted by scalefree at 3:54 PM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

...Migs?...

.........Working for the portugese secret service, he got a cigar and a brandy in return for each comment here.
posted by sgt.serenity at 3:54 PM on July 31, 2010

I'm 五毛党; pay's shit but the political fringe benefits are not inconsiderable and you neever know, might get me a seat at the Spring Festival TV extravaganza some year.
posted by Abiezer at 3:54 PM on July 31, 2010

I know for a fact that some of us are getting paid by Chinese gold farms to acquire favorites for resale later to people who want to get ahead on MetaFilter, but don't have the skill or patience to earn the necessary favorites on their own to level up. I know this because I was approached about doing this, but I was, like, no, I earned those favorites, and I wouldn't know where to spend yuan anyway.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:00 PM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

If this thread is really about the CIA,, we're going to get some real good recipes soon, right?
posted by Some1 at 4:03 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

I think it's naive to believe that "astroturfing" of one sort or another isn't happening on Metafilter. We catch bad attempts all the time, and sometimes even mediocre ones. Good attempts will generally go unnoticed. That's why they're good.
posted by muddgirl at 4:04 PM on July 31, 2010 [6 favorites]

If I had known there was money to be made here, I would've come back sooner.
posted by Gator at 4:04 PM on July 31, 2010

look! behind that tree! the eagle has landed!
posted by artof.mulata at 4:06 PM on July 31, 2010

Julian Assange released a leaked memo from Steve Jobs which says, "We need more iFanboys to defend the iPhone on MetaFilter. Please advise."
posted by mattdidthat at 4:08 PM on July 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

If this thread is really about the CIA, we're going to get some real good recipes soon, right?

When we turned the UN guy down, that's what he said he really meant. Which made no sense at all, but he had to say something I guess.
posted by scalefree at 4:08 PM on July 31, 2010

If there were cia people on mefi, surely jess, matt and cortex would know - would they tell us ?

Really? They would know that? I would think that people who work for the cia are supposed to be you know discrete. Like all of the drug running they are doing out of Afghanistan as we speak.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 4:09 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

(if this thread is deleted - i will unleash an encrypted file of cortex playing kenny g covers)

This is a pretty dumb post, but it's Saturday and basically whatever I guess. But those files aren't encrypted, it's just lossy compression.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:11 PM on July 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

I have never been contacted by the CIA. That's just how super-exclusively-secret they are!
posted by ardgedee at 4:12 PM on July 31, 2010

This is a pretty dumb post
As time goes on, I more and more suspect 'sgt.serenity' of some devious ironical intent when he chose his username. Moreover, he's the only one here with a military rank so not only is he an agent provocateur, he's more than likely posted this as a smokescreen for his own intelligence activities.
posted by Abiezer at 4:16 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

cortex: "This is a pretty dumb post, but it's Saturday and basically whatever I guess."

THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT J. EDGAR HOOVER WOULD SAY


...upon finishing a subpar edition of the Saturday Evening Post.
posted by Rhaomi at 4:23 PM on July 31, 2010 [9 favorites]

This is a pretty dumb post, but it's Saturday and basically whatever I guess.

Perhaps for some. Not only am I getting paid, I'm a day ahead as well. CIA infiltration AND time travel?
posted by twirlypen at 4:24 PM on July 31, 2010

We're all discrete. Only some of us are discreet.

A select few are anonymous. The spies seem to prefer AskMe.
posted by fourcheesemac at 4:31 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

Way to pick from the low branches, Sarge. I know BP makes it easy sometimes but still.

However, MeFi is a really large community of highly intelligent, highly educated, highly privileged people of mostly - but by no means all - liberal leaning. I'm an overeducated lefty from a poorer background and I know several CIA from among my own friends and family. Why on earth wouldn't BP's accusation (if you call it such) be perfectly plausible?
posted by toodleydoodley at 4:32 PM on July 31, 2010

Wound my heart with monotonous languor.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:34 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Pff. I take my orders from TINCC*

there is no chicago cabal
posted by crush-onastick at 4:38 PM on July 31, 2010

The aardvark is wearing a wrist watch.

Brother John is sleeping.

The weather in Madrid is cloudy.

I repeat:

The aardvark is wearing a wrist watch.

Brother John is sleeping.

The weather in Madrid is cloudy.

Now back to to your scheduled programming...
posted by MikeMc at 4:49 PM on July 31, 2010 [6 favorites]

If there were cia people on mefi, surely jess, matt and cortex would know - would they tell us ?

You need fifty dollars to make the mods holler - they get paid to do the wild thing.
posted by mintcake! at 4:52 PM on July 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

I'm not an operative, I just played one in Syriana (2005), Spy Kids (2001), and The Men Who Stare At Goats (2009).
posted by George Clooney at 4:54 PM on July 31, 2010 [11 favorites]

Favorite counts are like numbers stations. Maybe that's why certain people are always favoriting then un-favoriting.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:56 PM on July 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

Why on earth wouldn't BP's accusation (if you call it such) be perfectly plausible?

No evasions please Mister mathowie, I have here a list of two hundred seven persons who are known by Blazecock Pileon as being members of the Tea Party, who nevertheless are still shaping the discussions on the blue. I demand an answer, Mister mathowie! There will be no covering up, sir! No covering up!
posted by loquax at 4:57 PM on July 31, 2010 [5 favorites]

Don't forget Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)
posted by carsonb at 4:57 PM on July 31, 2010

I would think that people who work for the cia are supposed to be you know discrete.

Discrete or discreet? ; )
posted by ericb at 4:59 PM on July 31, 2010

I prefer NECI to CIA.
posted by terrapin at 4:59 PM on July 31, 2010

I prefer NECCO ro NECI
posted by plinth at 5:02 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Why don't you pass the time by playing a little solitaire?
posted by The Whelk at 5:02 PM on July 31, 2010 [8 favorites]

Everyone mocking BP for that suggestion are CIA agents attempting to undermine him.

(I'll decide later if that was a joke.)
posted by DU at 5:08 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Secret messages on Mefi, what a laugh.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 5:18 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

You're really missing Optimus Chyme, aren't you?
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:26 PM on July 31, 2010 [6 favorites]

You are all insane.
posted by desuetude at 5:27 PM on July 31, 2010

Listen - Cortex
MatthowIe
and JessAmyn all have our best interests at heart. Don't be so paranoid.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 5:30 PM on July 31, 2010 [20 favorites]

You know, the whole internet is not North American. I'm paid by MI6 thankyouverymuch, if by paid you mean tea and crumpets and signed photos of the queen and a free certificate in superciliousness from an institution of my choice. If by choice you mean government approved and subsidised socialist collective... thing.
posted by shinybaum at 5:43 PM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

I have been fed talking points before. In fact, I have been fattened up on talking points ready for the slaughter.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:53 PM on July 31, 2010

*builds fort of cushion and blanket*
posted by Back to you, Jim. at 5:54 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

On a serious note, there have been times where a cool "under the radar" story or site has been posted to Metafilter. Within a couple of days, a story appears on NPR about the same subject with the same sources. Has anyone else noticed this? How many news stories are broken on Metafilter? Not really talking hard news here, but more human interest and culture stories.
posted by Roger Dodger at 6:01 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

> How many news stories are broken on Metafilter?

Realistically, probably exceedingly very few. Sites like Digg and Reddit are what the PAs in all the TV shows are monitoring for memes and videos and whatnot. Metafilter is almost always behind those sites when it comes to fresh content. This is not to this site's detriment, it's just a function of much larger userbases on the others.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:09 PM on July 31, 2010

...Migs?...

SUKHOI!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:12 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Discrete or discreet? ; )

I have a discrete feeling that discreet was actually the proper usage. :)
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 6:23 PM on July 31, 2010

Reddit and Digg don't really have the same sort of mission that Metafilter has. It's like drinking from a firehose versus drinking from a drinking fountain fed by that firehose, with the water then being, well, filtered. We don't have nearly their volume, but our signal to noise ratio is much higher.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:26 PM on July 31, 2010

Scene: Oval Office, President and his advisors

"Mr. President Operation SockPuppet has been in place since 9/11. We bought our first account on 9/14. We had 14 researches compiling the most compelling, off-beat sites on the Internet. The account went dormant in 2004, and under Cheney's orders was brought back in 2007."

"After we came back, we were more of a commenter, getting a lot of favorites, but easy on the posts. After WikiLeaks went live we activated our sleepers ..."

President, "The "double game" reference -"

"Not exactly Mr. President. That wasn't one of our men, we believe that was actually a member of British intelligence, the motives aren't clear at this time."

President, "We weren't compromised? I want this program shutdown before it gets exposed..."

"Mr. President it just isn't Metafilter, we use the same account on Boing Boing, Slashdot, Tumblr, Twitter ... Mr. President, we've been in control of Andrew Sullivan's blog for over a month."

President, "My God, you can't shut it down can you? Who is this Blazecock Pigeon? What does he want?"

"He was last spotted at our embassy in Switzerland, but after that ..."

"After that we lost him sir."

BLAZECOCK BOURNE
posted by geoff. at 6:28 PM on July 31, 2010 [15 favorites]

Could someone please use Linux to put together a gui interface and trace the IP addresses of suspected CIA operatives? kthxbye
posted by misha at 6:30 PM on July 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

I attended Middlebury Colleges Language School for Russian about 6 years ago. One of the students in the beginning class was an FBI agent sent there by "work" to "learn Russian." His roommate informed the rest of us (in broken Russian and with lots of cirumnavigating and assistance) that his roommate had one blanket and small pillow with him that he rolled up each morning. He had less than a week's worth of clothing with him for a nine week session. When asked if the FBI has a file on everyone, he laughed and said, "Nyet, nyet. Konechno, nyet!" ("No, no. Of course not!").

He was too easy and breezy when he said it.

When he was picked up at the end of the language camp, he was escorted by another FBI agent.

To this day I wonder his real reasons for attending the school. Was he going to infiltrate the Russian mob? Did he have something on one of the instructors? What?

(There was also a CIA agent in my class (6th level), but he dropped out after a few weeks because he was going through a divorce, poor guy.)
posted by zizzle at 6:31 PM on July 31, 2010

Goldline, financing snark one pithy line at a time. Goldline.

And who actually runs a defense network that actually allows gobs of stuff to be downloaded and saved on external media anyway??? Eh?

Goldline. Like a full pouch of snark in the pants. Goldline.
posted by buzzman at 6:32 PM on July 31, 2010

I can prove I am not an agent of the CIA or the FBI, but I am not going to because I like my gun and the badge is shiny!
posted by cjorgensen at 6:37 PM on July 31, 2010

COOOOOOOOCKFIIIINGER
posted by The Whelk at 6:38 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Why on earth wouldn't BP's accusation (if you call it such) be perfectly plausible?

It's also perfectly unprovable. This is why I find BP's accusation so obnoxious. We can't know whether or not someone is or isn't CIA, or whether or not they're telling the truth if they say they are or aren't. All BP's accusation does is poison the well by insinuating that a particular poster isn't arguing in good faith.

I think it's worth a mod giving BP a slapdown for it.

He's done this before in other contexts, too, accusing people vaguely on BP's side in an oil slick thread of being BP employees or astroturfers in their pay.
posted by fatbird at 6:39 PM on July 31, 2010 [10 favorites]

We have cameras!
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:47 PM on July 31, 2010

> He's done this before in other contexts, too

He really doesn't seem to not be able to phrase things in anything but inflammatory language. It's a constant negative on the site, really.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:48 PM on July 31, 2010 [13 favorites]

Or is it....Blazecock Petroleum??!?!?!

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 6:49 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

I already outed myself in the first comment in the thread, so there you have it.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 6:59 PM on July 31, 2010

This is a terrible post.
posted by dhammond at 7:04 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

They're CIA officers, not agents. Like Officer Friendly.
posted by Kevin Street at 7:10 PM on July 31, 2010

This is a terrible post.

Take to MeTa...oh, wait. Nevermind.
posted by MikeMc at 7:11 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Me, I spy for the FBI.

Yeah? Well, I spy for the MI5.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:11 PM on July 31, 2010

I played I Spy once, does that count?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:15 PM on July 31, 2010 [5 favorites]

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Mefi
posted by The Whelk at 7:15 PM on July 31, 2010 [5 favorites]

This is a terrible post.

Yeah! Let's see those Kenny G covers already!
posted by hellojed at 7:16 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

THE MAN FROM M.E.T.A
posted by The Whelk at 7:20 PM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

Uncle Meta, tell us again about when you were in the cold war.
posted by Babblesort at 7:25 PM on July 31, 2010

mathowie, this is CONDOR, BRING ME IN NOW!

pew pew pewpewpew!!!! ricochet. pew.
posted by snsranch at 7:27 PM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

This is why I find BP's accusation so obnoxious.

I don't think it was so much an accusation as it was hyperbole.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 7:31 PM on July 31, 2010

If there were cia people on mefi, surely jess, matt and cortex would know

Would they? Or would CIA folks be smart enough to hide that information?

"Officer Crimshaw just became mayor of CIA Headquarters on Foursquare!"
posted by naju at 7:38 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

I played I Spy once, does that count?

That depends. If it was like "I spy with my little eye, something beginning with $1 billion in classified black project funding", then it counts.
posted by FishBike at 7:41 PM on July 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

BP will never find us. We use one-time ipads.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:47 PM on July 31, 2010 [4 favorites]

(sung to "Secret Agent Man")

There's a man who leads a life of trollin'
iPhone and Apple features he's extollin'
Then users start to wail
Another thread derails
Odds are he'll be back again tomorrow

Secret Meta Man, Secret Meta Man
They've given you a number and a new user name

Beware, or he'll dismiss you with a kiss-off
He'll say you're just a shill for Microsoft
Oh, he'll say you sell PCs
Or you're with the Tea Party
Odds are he'll be back again tomorrow

Secret Meta Man, Secret Meta Man
They've given you a number and a new user name
posted by mattdidthat at 7:49 PM on July 31, 2010 [9 favorites]

Is this a call out?
posted by chunking express at 7:56 PM on July 31, 2010

I don't think it was so much an accusation as it was hyperbole.

Everything BP says is hyperbole. The accusation of being a plant remains.
posted by fatbird at 8:00 PM on July 31, 2010

THE MOD WHO WAS THURSDAY
posted by The Whelk at 8:03 PM on July 31, 2010

I played I Spy once, does that count?

I spy with my eye something that is [redacted]
posted by Hiker at 8:11 PM on July 31, 2010 [5 favorites]

I want it on the record that I don't know anything about this person, and anyone who says otherwise is very irresponsible and is probably the kind of person who would disappear off the face of the earth without warning so you shouldn't listen to them anyway.
posted by homunculus at 8:19 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

"I'm a plant"

"I thought men like you were called fruits."
posted by The Whelk at 8:24 PM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

"I thought men like you were called fruits."

"I'm gonna go home and make love to my wife!"
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:26 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

isn't it obvious? - there's a vast conspiracy that has no other purpose than to convince BP that there ARE people who disagree with him, when it's perfectly obvious to anyone that we all agree with every word he's ever said

i can't make up my mind if it's the illuminati or the lizard people
posted by pyramid termite at 8:28 PM on July 31, 2010

no man should leave in the universe anything of which he has flagged.
posted by The Whelk at 8:29 PM on July 31, 2010

Can we please have the bodies of our people back. And no, we still do not want to talk to Stephen Hawking.

I've said too much. But the bodies please. You barbarians! You put them on Fox for fucks sake. Are you truly animals? Uh oh, the boss is here. I'm just playing space humans. Aack.. .. . . ..
posted by Splunge at 8:35 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

Why on earth wouldn't BP's accusation (if you call it such) be perfectly plausible?

No offense to this site, but the notion that the CIA would care about it enough to launch a campaign of propaganda dissemination here is loopy to the point of either bona fide paranoia or a serious lack of perspective. It's not expressly political, influential, or high-profile in the larger media world, sorry. I don't know what the stats are for how many visitors bother reading the comments here, but I suspect it's not a big number. Most of the content here is already old by internet standards.

Maybe a larger, politically-influential site like Daily Kos would be a target for such a thing, I don't know. But even then, spreading talking points is more about getting them in the content, not user commentary sections of said content. And, well, when you can spread bullshit for free in places like Fox News, why would you bother? They are more than happy to disseminate talking points, which shows up like clockwork in comments, blog posts, and aggregators within 24 hours without any astroturfing required. Personally I doubt the CIA bothers with this when there are so many right-wing PACs holding the fort down, but who knows. It's an unprovable claim without a leak of some sort.

SEO spammers and new media marketers are a whole different ballgame. Of course they'll show up here occasionally. The $5 speed bump keeps most of them away, thankfully. A huge amount of content on reddit/digg is blatant SEO, "blogspam" (where they steal content and throw it up on a blog covered in ads), viral marketing, or single-issue activists promoting their pet cause. So it goes. The comparison doesn't seem apt.
posted by cj_ at 8:35 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

I read someone using the "double game" talking point well before it was used elsewhere.

Every comedian in the world has jokes about bad airline travel and the funny differences between men and women. As much as they claim to be stealing from each other, they're not. It's just parallel thinking.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:39 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

The 39 Contacts are an organization of spies collecting information on behalf of the foreign office of-
posted by The Whelk at 8:39 PM on July 31, 2010

Why wouldn't the NSA log every single post here and then put you all on...

Um, I meant CIA.

Nevermind.
posted by Splunge at 8:43 PM on July 31, 2010

Library sign!
posted by Splunge at 8:47 PM on July 31, 2010

The pearl is in the river!
posted by waraw at 9:10 PM on July 31, 2010

Pretty soon you start seeing the proof of the vast conspiracy everywhere. Wheels turned away from the curb at peculiar angles, blinds drawn downwards in one window next to another with the blinds closed angled up, coffee cups left on newspaper stands, wet floor signs where it's clearly dry, the man in the window booth eating his taco with just his thumb and forefinger, posts on the website punctuated with commas. It's all clear as day when you've seen the truth. They're here, and they're all out to get you. All of them.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:16 PM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

This flawed premise is monitored by surveillance equipment operated by people who roll their eyes a lot.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:17 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

They're here, and they're all out to get you. All of them.

Alert. Alert. We have a Cabal Security Breach Hazard Red on Level Gray. Repeat: We have a Cabal Security Breach Hazard Red on Level Gray. All members please report to the briefing room for instructions regarding User 46088 and to confirm updated eradication procedures. Thank you.
posted by zarq at 9:36 PM on July 31, 2010 [2 favorites]

Spies have alerted me to this suspiciously named website devoted to callouts.

Note: it's owned by someone in Japan.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:47 PM on July 31, 2010

"I wouldn't be surprised at all to hear there was a low-level smear campaign in place, where people are compensated for planting misinformation and viral phrasing."

-posted by Threatening Maori Blazecock at 11:36 AM on July 31

Ever since I have installed my Blazecock Haka script, MetaFilter has been a much more pleasant and entertaining experience. I encourage like minded right-thinkers to do the same.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:54 PM on July 31, 2010

On a serious note, there have been times where a cool "under the radar" story or site has been posted to Metafilter. Within a couple of days, a story appears on NPR about the same subject with the same sources. Has anyone else noticed this? How many news stories are broken on Metafilter? Not really talking hard news here, but more human interest and culture stories.

Totally notice this. The shows I think read metafilter (on WNYC) are Brian Leherer and Wait Wait Don't Tell Me
posted by angrycat at 10:02 PM on July 31, 2010

23
posted by Splunge at 10:02 PM on July 31, 2010 [1 favorite]

The CIA is now posing as an art school in Cleveland. Very crafty. LeBron left town because what he saw there shocked him.
posted by lukemeister at 10:12 PM on July 31, 2010

Secret Agent Howie
posted by adamvasco at 10:34 PM on July 31, 2010

I know the point of this thread is to attack BP and ridicule the idea that US intelligence agencies have taken notice of social media networks, but, just wanted to point out:

CIA Invests in Social-Network Datamining

Google, CIA Invest in ‘Future’ of Web Monitoring

EFF FOIA Litigation for Accountable Government

posted by mlis at 10:44 PM on July 31, 2010 [3 favorites]

Wikipedia estimates there are 20,000 CIA agents and almost 40,000 MeFi members. Are you a CIA agent? If not, the Mefite next to you probably is.
posted by lukemeister at 10:57 PM on July 31, 2010

No offense to this site, but the notion that the CIA would care about it enough to launch a campaign of propaganda dissemination here is loopy to the point of either bona fide paranoia or a serious lack of perspective.

Paranoia was the first thought that came to mind when I read his comment/accusation earlier today. Quite honestly, I'm a little worried about BP these days, and I hope he's okay.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:02 PM on July 31, 2010

I always wanted to be John Steed when I grew up.
posted by The Whelk at 11:18 PM on July 31, 2010

Totally notice this. The shows I think read metafilter (on WNYC) are Brian Leherer and Wait Wait Don't Tell Me

I submit links to MeFi posts to WWDTM every once in a while.
posted by zarq at 11:47 PM on July 31, 2010

rybz rug qahbs rinu r j
posted by The Whelk at 11:54 PM on July 31, 2010

> rybz rug qahbs rinu r j

Wait, shit. Which cipher were we supposed to be using? I'm either supposed to pick up the USB drives from the drop location or huddle naked behind the dumpster at IHOP.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:01 AM on August 1, 2010

The CIA is now posing as an art school in Cleveland. Very crafty.

Heh. You know what else was crafty? The CIA using as a front the identity of a innocuous federal agency in WTC 7.
posted by mlis at 12:06 AM on August 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

The chair is against the wall.

John has a long mustache.
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:09 AM on August 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

In all seriousness, shortly after 9/11 I got offered a position which would involve the widespread logging and monitoring of instant message conversations. So I think anything's possible.
posted by naju at 12:23 AM on August 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

Do not seek the treasure.
posted by wv kay in ga at 12:23 AM on August 1, 2010 [4 favorites]

The Jim Jones user page is noted without comment.
posted by mlis at 12:26 AM on August 1, 2010

Pray, do not rise.
posted by The Whelk at 12:28 AM on August 1, 2010

wv kay in ga? We thought you was a toad.
posted by homunculus at 12:30 AM on August 1, 2010

Well, it's late and I'm tired. Go to sleep little babies...
posted by homunculus at 12:47 AM on August 1, 2010

Who will help the widows son?
posted by Snyder at 12:59 AM on August 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Paranoia is the most sincere form of narcissism.
posted by Afroblanco at 1:33 AM on August 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

Me, I spy for the FBI.

Were you downtown Saturday night?
posted by trondant at 1:36 AM on August 1, 2010

Paranoia was the first thought that came to mind when I read his comment/accusation earlier today. Quite honestly, I'm a little worried about BP these days, and I hope he's okay.

I sorta doubt it's sincere. Seems more like a rhetorical device to me. "Your views are so ridiculous the only plausible way you could hold them is to be paid for it." He'd have to speak for himself, though. Which I'm giving him props for not doing, this dripping-with-sarcasm callout is bullshit. Is there not enough hostility here already? I don't understand why this post wasn't deleted, it's just trawling for a fight.
posted by cj_ at 2:27 AM on August 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

Total derail: Are any mefites playing sc2? I'm bored of campaign but not quite ready for matches. Looking for some co-op vs. ai friends!
posted by cj_ at 3:04 AM on August 1, 2010

Is there not enough hostility here already? I don't understand why this post wasn't deleted

I think if we can head off a situation where some future user is targeted/smeared/whatever as belonging to the cia/fbi/walmart on mefi, then its really quite a worthwhile post. I know other sites where some users have nothing better to do than dream up bizarre accusations against people. This makes low count posters very wary of contributing (because theyll be instantly accused) and harms the site as a whole.

"Ooooh !" you say;" but that makes this very serious indeed ! Why didn't you frame it that way before ? "
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:07 AM on August 1, 2010

"Ooooh !" you say;" but that makes this very serious indeed ! Why didn't you frame it that way before ? "

Yeah, why didn't you?
posted by cj_ at 4:11 AM on August 1, 2010

Has anyone considered the possibility that the CIA is behind early puberty?
posted by doublehappy at 4:19 AM on August 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Batman has, doublehappy.
posted by cgc373 at 4:40 AM on August 1, 2010

I used to make a living on picking the banana.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 6:16 AM on August 1, 2010

This thread is worth it just for the notion that a MeFite could be outed ... As working for Wal-Mart.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:04 AM on August 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

I don't understand why this post wasn't deleted, it's just trawling for a fight.

If the post had been more effective at seeming to pick a fight, it'd have gone. As it, it seemed as I said earlier to be just kind of dumb. No way to put a gentle shine on that, sarge: it seemed like you were mostly bored and possibly chemical altered and I don't know what you were thinking.

But as framed it seemed like mostly a venue for spy jokes and such, and that seems like mostly what came out of it indeed. So, eh.

I thought BP's comment itself was mildly obnoxious as a dismissive approach to a disagreement—declaring people, however potentially figuratively or hyperbolically, to be trolls or planted hostile agents if they have disagreeable opinions is a lousy and bullshitty way to be, but it was one short comment not done up in fifteen-foot-high letters or anything and didn't really feel like something worth a serious callout. This didn't manage to function much like a serious callout, so, again, eh.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:26 AM on August 1, 2010

As a friend of mine once answered, upon being asked if he was working for the CIA,

"I am not working for the CIA, but if I was working for the CIA, would I tell you I'm working for the CIA? No, I'd tell you I'm not working for the CIA"
posted by infini at 8:36 AM on August 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

MetaTalk: so, again, eh.
posted by languagehat at 9:05 AM on August 1, 2010

I chatted with the CIA recruitment ladies at a job fair once. They had some pretty cool swag on the table and I asked if I could take a pin and the cool one said "Yes, go right ahead. Just be sure to talk nice and loud into it at family gatherings" nudge, nudge, wink, wink and the other ladies gave her withering looks of disapproval.

I wore the pin once or twice for fun but, frankly, once the idea that it was sending info on me to the CIA was planted in my head, I didn't really feel comfortable wearing it. OMG INCEPTION!
posted by bobobox at 9:07 AM on August 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

I had a couple cops come in the library the other day looking for books about Nuwaubianism. We didn't have any.

Apparently, the Nuwaubians, or ex-Nuwaubians or Nuwaubian sympathizers or something, are making a lot of noise these days about the hip-hop/Illuminati thing.
posted by box at 9:21 AM on August 1, 2010

we're metafilter. we're so important, the CIA tries its talking points here first. only after we approve do they go to CBS.

op, check your urine.
posted by krautland at 9:27 AM on August 1, 2010

We're MetaFilter, we're so good, we can dissemble and disseminate like Ginger and Fred
posted by infini at 9:30 AM on August 1, 2010

"Who is Number One?"

"You are Number 206."

"I am not a number! I am a free man (with purchase of one man at regular price)!"
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:55 AM on August 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

It's assholes all the way down.
posted by The Whelk at 10:50 AM on August 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

> It's assholes all the way down.

No, this is.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:59 AM on August 1, 2010

The FBI apparently denounced the lyrics of the post-Smokey Robinson Miracles' song "Spy from the Brotherhood." Wikileaks needs to be on the case. I can't find documentation anywhere of this astonishing abuse of government power, aside from Allmusic's claim that the song (which isn't that good aside from the lyrics) "was pulled off [1977's Love Crazy album] after complaints from the FBI."
posted by mediareport at 11:19 AM on August 1, 2010

Why couldn't they have complained about 'Ain't Nobody Straight in LA'?
posted by box at 11:28 AM on August 1, 2010

No, this is.

Good read. But something I'll now take to my grave. Thanks.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:35 AM on August 1, 2010

jesus CHRIST the STAGGERING ignorance in this thread:

listen, jerks. When you're talking about Central Intelligence Agency, it's CIA. no "the CIA." just CIA. when you say "the CIA," you're talking about The Culinary Institute of America, which is a fine educational institution for chefs.

Blazecock was talking about cooking, people. cooking.
posted by shmegegge at 11:36 AM on August 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

It's not as if BP has any other way of argument.

Either you agree with him or you're a paid shill or you 'hate apple' or whatever you are criticizing. I think he finds it impossible to believe that anyone can honestly disagree with him on any subject.
posted by empath at 11:44 AM on August 1, 2010 [4 favorites]

For the record, I enjoyed watching The Sandbaggers last week.
posted by zippy at 11:51 AM on August 1, 2010

Like CIA agents, I am well versed in interrogation techniques.

"Look, Jimmy. We know about the swing set. All we're asking is for a statement on your part. We have the chalk. We have enough to put you away for the rest of the afternoon. Just tell us about the swing set, and we might be able to get you out by snack time."
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:57 PM on August 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sandbaggers is brilliant and totally destroys all other espionage entertainment.
posted by klangklangston at 1:31 PM on August 1, 2010

It was indeed top telly, but Roy Marsden's character's a right (in all senses) twat. Just the sort of intelligence officer who'd have planned a coup if the Labour Party, to general surprise, ever looked actually socialist.
posted by Abiezer at 1:38 PM on August 1, 2010

That's the great thing about (older) British TV, the characters didn't have to be good guys, just goodishly inclined while otherwise dysfunctional. Made for some nicely 3D characterization.

And yeah, the Sandbaggers is awesome.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:13 PM on August 1, 2010

[folks, keep the real names out of here and the straight up jackass talk elsewhere, thanks]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:09 PM on August 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

listen, jerks. When you're talking about Central Intelligence Agency, it's CIA. no "the CIA." just CIA. when you say "the CIA," you're talking about The Culinary Institute of America, which is a fine educational institution for chefs.

That's what the UN guy told us he really meant after we turned him down. I know it was an awkward situation for him but even so, it was a very silly thing to say. Why would the United Nations want us to break into the computers of a cooking school for them?
posted by scalefree at 11:11 PM on August 1, 2010

If the post had been more effective at seeming to pick a fight, it'd have gone

Fair enough. It wasn't for lack of trying, but I hear ya.
posted by cj_ at 4:49 AM on August 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

You guys are hilarious just a laugh a minute. Because our government would never do anything like what Blazecock was suggesting. Not that I think there are actually CIA agents here, but there are definitely precedents. Especially when dealing with a high profile event like the Assange case which the original comment pertained to. So in the words of Han Solo "laugh it up fuzz balls."
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 5:04 AM on August 2, 2010 [2 favorites]

when you say "the CIA," you're talking about The Culinary Institute of America, which is a fine educational institution for chefs.

*impales tomato on wall with thrown chef's knife*

What? Chefs do that.
posted by quin at 8:08 AM on August 2, 2010 [5 favorites]

You are Geena Davis and I claim my five pounds in US currency that I spent to go see The Long Kiss Goodnight when I could have just rented La Femme again.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:13 AM on August 2, 2010

You are so not dissing the Samuel L Jackson film ever, are you? There could be...consequences....
posted by nomisxid at 8:23 AM on August 2, 2010

... the BEST Samuel ...
posted by nomisxid at 8:24 AM on August 2, 2010

Oh, it wasn't terrible. And I've got a soft spot for Geena Davis anyway. I admit I was just lurching for the easy joke.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:26 AM on August 2, 2010

I think Jeff Goldblum was hot in a geeky kind of way in Independence Day, went to see it twice. Then again, I saw The Matrix thrice (in the theatre)
posted by infini at 10:39 AM on August 2, 2010

You guys are hilarious just a laugh a minute. Because our government would never do anything like what Blazecock was suggesting. Not that I think there are actually CIA agents here, but there are definitely precedents. Especially when dealing with a high profile event like the Assange case which the original comment pertained to. So in the words of Han Solo "laugh it up fuzz balls."
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 5:04 AM on August 2 [+] [!]

I think you and Blazecock are agents provocateur from the CIA here to make us think that people who support wikileaks are ninnys.
posted by Snyder at 2:07 PM on August 2, 2010

Maybe it was the 1-2-3 punch of reading this MeTa, the Tax Avoision one, and the recently closed SAotB MeTa in a go, but does it seem to anyone else that shit posts to the Grey or MeTas which have long since hit their expiry are being given longer leases on life than they deserve or warrant? I get that pulling the plug can lead to contentiousness and empty allegations that the Mod Squad are scared of discussion, but I'm having trouble seeing how this one or the 749 comments in the third MeTa have been constructive.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:54 PM on August 2, 2010 [2 favorites]

I think you and Blazecock are agents provocateur from the CIA here to make us think that people who support wikileaks are ninnys.

Takes one to know one... ziiiiiiing. On a more serious note I think that anyone posting in this shit thread can safely be classified as a ninny; myself included.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 10:08 PM on August 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

Nin? Perhaps. Ny? Perhaps not.
posted by Snyder at 5:35 AM on August 3, 2010

> On a more serious note I think that anyone posting in this shit thread can safely be classified as a ninny; myself included.

It would more seem that you are just a jackass desperately grasping for attention.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:30 AM on August 3, 2010

He's done this before in other contexts, too, accusing people vaguely on BP's side in an oil slick thread of being BP employees or astroturfers in their pay.

Are we talking about BP here, or BP?
posted by chairface at 7:53 AM on August 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Come in from the Cold
posted by Meatbomb at 9:35 AM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

damn, that fogged my spektakles up, too bad I can't spouse you again
posted by infini at 11:55 AM on August 4, 2010

It would more seem that you are just a jackass desperately grasping for attention.

Yeah you're right cointel never happened and I am just trolling for attention. Methinks you may be the jack ass...jack ass.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 4:26 PM on August 4, 2010

You guys want to maybe stop calling each other jackasses?
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:36 PM on August 4, 2010

Yeah, there's a thousand and one more colourful and creative animal insults out there, you pair of spatchcocked warblers.
posted by Abiezer at 5:01 PM on August 4, 2010

You can't even pass the hamster free ovum test.
posted by The Whelk at 5:38 PM on August 4, 2010

quit fighting youse guys you're ruining the afterglow
posted by infini at 9:30 PM on August 4, 2010

This one goes out to my wife infini.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:49 PM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

*crumples up nth attempt to reply*

*rushes to get ready for work*
posted by infini at 10:37 PM on August 4, 2010

*submits hastily drawn rough sketch to meatbomb in reply*
posted by infini at 12:52 AM on August 6, 2010

What do you know right wing cabals do exist. Can you dig it?
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 5:02 PM on August 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

is that a new love song?
posted by infini at 5:13 PM on August 6, 2010

It's a work in progress.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 5:58 PM on August 6, 2010

MS. PEEL YOu'RE NEEDED.
posted by The Whelk at 6:07 PM on August 6, 2010

that's Mish Moneypenny to you...
posted by infini at 6:30 PM on August 6, 2010