Disambiguation:Bikes

August 11, 2010 11:51 AM

Can we please differentiate "bicycles" and "motorcycles"? Asking about a "bike" is confusing.

I am a motorcycle enthusiast (sometimes called a "biker").

Other people like the exercise aspect of riding a bicycle (these people might also be called "bikers").

So, can I just ask, please MeFites, when asking a question, don't ask about a "bike". Please, just be more specific. Both types come with gears, brakes, speeds, etc. Some bicycles even have motors.

Please specify if you are talking about a motorcycle or a bicycle.

That's all I wanted to say.

posted by I am the Walrus to Etiquette/Policy at 11:51 AM (187 comments total)

"Tags:
bicycle
bicyclecommuting
bicycleterminology"
posted by ocherdraco at 11:52 AM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

And on link 2:

"Tags:
Motorcycles
motorcyclephotography"
posted by ocherdraco at 11:53 AM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

I don't see the tags on the front page.
posted by I am the Walrus at 11:54 AM on August 11, 2010

Can you cite an example of this being a problem? The examples you've listed are very clear.
posted by ODiV at 11:54 AM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Really? A MeTa post? For this? He's talking about single speed and pedal brakes. I know nothing about either kind of bike, and it's pretty obvious what he's talking about to me.
posted by Caduceus at 11:54 AM on August 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

It's pretty clear from context that they meant "bicycle". There's no way to enforce this kind of thing, so if this MeTa is just a vent then ok, whatver.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:56 AM on August 11, 2010

Wow.
posted by crunchland at 11:56 AM on August 11, 2010

I also only want a pedal brake.

Only one kind comes with pedals.
posted by edbles at 11:56 AM on August 11, 2010

English can be ambiguous, but I'm not sure we need to lay down sweeping AskMe decrees to prevent the occasional inconvenience of people clicking through to the question.
posted by zamboni at 11:57 AM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

So, can I just ask, please MeFites, when asking a question, don't ask about a "bike".

Yeah, I don't want to hear any questions about your prick, dick, cock, schlong, whanger, pizzle, bike or whatever name you have for it.
posted by Elmore at 11:57 AM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Asking about taters is confusing.
posted by reductiondesign at 11:58 AM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

Avoid beanplating the tater bike.
posted by Elmore at 11:59 AM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

If it's got a basket, a bell that rings, and things that make it look good, then it's a bike.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:59 AM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Only one kind comes with pedals.

Negative. My motorcycle has a clutch pedal on the left and a brake pedal on the right.

Unless you mean that a bicycle doesn't have pedals? It's been awhile, but that doesn't seem right.
posted by I am the Walrus at 12:00 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hey, Roethlisberger's newest Hayabusa has coaster brakes and training wheels. Think about it.
posted by Mister_A at 12:00 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Really? A MeTa post? For this?

I had a minor annoyance that I wanted to air. Is MeTa not the place?
posted by I am the Walrus at 12:01 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Back when I lived on my palatial country estate there was a campground down the road that had a big sign that said "Bikers Welcome."
They changed it to "Bicyclists" in the middle of the first season.

That's all I've got.
posted by Floydd at 12:01 PM on August 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

Yeah, when people talk about the clutch and the brake on a motorbike they do usually just say "the pedals."
posted by Mister_A at 12:01 PM on August 11, 2010

A "bike" is a bicycle. A motorcycle should be referred to as a "mike".
posted by DU at 12:02 PM on August 11, 2010 [11 favorites]

If only there were some way to indicate on the front page of AskMeta that there might be additional data that can make the two-line description more specific. Some way to indicate that there is MORE information INSIDE a longer version of the question...

Yes, the front page two-liner is just the slightest bit confusing. That's why God gave us the Back button.

"Hey, a question about bikes. Perhaps I can help. [click] Oh, this is about bicycles. Well, never mind. [click] Hey, a question about writing retreats..."
posted by Etrigan at 12:02 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh, while we're at it.
posted by Elmore at 12:02 PM on August 11, 2010

Sure, minor complaints are what metatalk is all about. While we're here, what do you think of all this weather we've been having?
posted by crunchland at 12:03 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, 'village bike'. Kindly use the phrase 'dirty slut' instead, in case anyone thinks the question is about a community transport scheme.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 12:03 PM on August 11, 2010 [7 favorites]

In Philadelphia, we do exactly that, DU. "Hey man, my mike needs some new pedals," is the kind of thing you can't swing a dead cat without hearing.
posted by Mister_A at 12:03 PM on August 11, 2010

While we're here, what do you think of all this weather we've been having?

It's very changeable.
posted by Elmore at 12:05 PM on August 11, 2010

A pedantic spirit disambiguates the smallest term.
posted by Babblesort at 12:06 PM on August 11, 2010 [15 favorites]

What is up with to and too? Fuck you two!
posted by Mister_A at 12:07 PM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

I've always abhorred the "tight-ass" moniker. I believe that it is often used to deride individuals that simply have different outlook on life, and not necessarily one that is narrower.

This meta makes me challenge that belief.
posted by purephase at 12:08 PM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

As someone who's fascinated by both recumbents and penny-farthings, I hereby object to referring to "bicycles" in such a narrow manner. Could we please refrain from such confusing talk and give them their proper name, that of a Safety?

I am trying to picture drop handlebars on a penny-farthing.
posted by Lemurrhea at 12:08 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Really? A MeTa post?

Christ on a bicycle. This may not be a gigantic problem, or even an actual problem, but I've seen about a million worse metas. This is just someone making a harmless, friendly suggestion about the site and how he thinks we could make it easier to use.
posted by pracowity at 12:14 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

A pedantic spirit disambiguates the smallest term.

Are you referring to hard liquor or ghosts?
posted by Elmore at 12:14 PM on August 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

Ethos, man.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:15 PM on August 11, 2010

Christ on a bicycle -- thank you for complying.
posted by crunchland at 12:15 PM on August 11, 2010

Christ on a bicycle.
posted by twirlip at 12:18 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

A Jew on a motorbike.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:19 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sure. I'll be happy to differentiate between bicycles and motorcycles from now on.

(that wasn't so hard)
posted by iconomy at 12:20 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Ethos, man.

I haven't tried it, but I wish people would stop talking about whisky when they are really asking about whiskey.
posted by Elmore at 12:21 PM on August 11, 2010

Only one kind comes with pedals.

O RLY

(Granted, that first one weighs 165 lbs so I'm not sure I'd want to pedal it very far...)
posted by Kadin2048 at 12:21 PM on August 11, 2010

I also promise to differentiate between bicycles and motorcycles. I'd be happy to sign a document attesting to this, or take some sort of oath. Maybe we can call ourselves the Promise Keepers?
posted by mullacc at 12:24 PM on August 11, 2010

I think what you really want is a pony bicycle.
posted by foggy out there now at 12:25 PM on August 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

This is a terrible post.
posted by dhammond at 12:28 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Pony bicycle is rather terrifying.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:30 PM on August 11, 2010

Just wanted to say hi before this got closed up.
posted by hermitosis at 12:31 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm still smarting over time squandered in grilled cheese sandwich threads. Can we please have some clarity mandated around that?
posted by everichon at 12:31 PM on August 11, 2010

We prefer the term cyclists to bikers. Cycler is ok, too. It's jaunty in a tweed ride sort of way. Also: dumbest MeTa ever.
posted by fixedgear at 12:32 PM on August 11, 2010

I'm riding my bike to visit a dyke! What are some good places to stay/eat in Holland?
posted by applemeat at 12:33 PM on August 11, 2010

Also is this where I can kvetch about those dopey cruiser bikes fitted with mingy two-stroke motors? I hate those things.
posted by everichon at 12:33 PM on August 11, 2010

I'm riding my bike to visit a dyke!

Does she live near a dike?
posted by fixedgear at 12:35 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

De Pannenkoekenboot!
posted by zamboni at 12:36 PM on August 11, 2010

my friend and i were riding bicycles around town one night. we split a pitcher of dogfish head 90-min at the gingerman, and then rode over to bull McCabe's and nearly got in a fight with the bartender there, because i stepped outside the establishment to admire a bicycle locked up to a signpost. the bartender jumped the bar, stormed out to me, and screamed about how they could lose their liquor license because i took beer out of the bar. he wasn't nice at all.

we were drunk enough that we thought it would be hilarious if we rode over to the local biker (like harley) bar and strolled up to the bar and ordered a pint. in a sea of black leather and bandannas, we'd be two goofy dudes in cargo shorts and sandals. hi-larious.

they were closed when we got there. i lost my rear light and saddle bag holding my spare tube and tools somewhere, so we spent the next 45 minutes backtracking trying to find it.

biker bar. get it? biker bar. ha ha. biker bar.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 12:37 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

This chick's wild, she goes either way.
posted by applemeat at 12:38 PM on August 11, 2010

Does she live near a dike?

Right on the Bechdelpolder.
posted by everichon at 12:39 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Is this where I can bitch about the lazy use of the preposition "around" in contexts in which it is not appropriate? It's a creeping horror of business-speak...
posted by killdevil at 12:40 PM on August 11, 2010

> Mister A: In Philadelphia, we do exactly that, DU. "Hey man, my mike needs some new pedals," is the kind of thing you can't swing a dead cat without hearing.

If you could, please spell it 'mic' as it's actually an abbreviation for 'microphone'. Mike Patton and his effects pedals will thank you kindly.
posted by komara at 12:41 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

"Negative. My motorcycle has a clutch pedal on the left and a brake pedal on the right. "

I've never heard anyone who rides say anything other than "clutch lever" and "brake lever." YMMV (NPI).

'A "bike" is a bicycle. A motorcycle should be referred to as a "mike".'

Disagree. We should refer to them as "motorbikes" and "nonmotor-bikes."

And for all of you calling this a dumb, stupid, or needless MeTa thread, I challenge you to come up with a better one. You have one hour.
posted by Eideteker at 12:43 PM on August 11, 2010

The phrase "In regards to" signals another cover letter that's going in the trash.
posted by applemeat at 12:44 PM on August 11, 2010

What was that 80s song, pretty new-wave I think, that had "mobylette" in the refrain? Not gonna waste an AskMe on it. But still.
posted by everichon at 12:46 PM on August 11, 2010

I call my bike "Roger." If I had a mic I would probably call it "Jessie."
posted by Mister_A at 12:47 PM on August 11, 2010

I have aspergers borderline obsessive compulsive williams' syndrome aphasia, so I cannot differentiate between a bicycle and a motorcycle. Will the neurotypical people on metafilter please stop using the word "bike" to describe me? Thank you.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:48 PM on August 11, 2010 [9 favorites]

I've never heard anyone who rides say anything other than "clutch lever" and "brake lever." YMMV (NPI).

Unless they are talking about a vintage motorcycle, which might have a foot operated clutch pedal, with a hand operated jockey shifter.
posted by fixedgear at 12:48 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is this were we complain about the use of its vs. it's? Its just not right when it's is not used right! (Wait, did I use it correctly?)
posted by govtdrone at 12:50 PM on August 11, 2010

Did you guys know that Rudge made bikes AND mikes? Did you know that Suzuki makes 4-wheeled motorized bicycles?
posted by Mister_A at 12:52 PM on August 11, 2010

Sure. I'll be happy to differentiate between bicycles and motorcycles from now on.

This pretty much gets at why people are snarking, if anyone's curious. (Beyond the fact that it's MeTa, so, for better or worse, it's going to happen.)

MeTa doesn't get the kind of eyeballs that AskMe does. The vast, vast, vast majority of people asking questions will never see this post, and there won't be any site-wide policy about this, so it's largely futile. Of the, oh, let's be generous and say 1,000 people who might read this, what are the odds any of them are going to, in the future, make a post on either topic in a confusing way? (None now! Ha!)

That said: I, too, will be 100% clear when I post on either topic, going forward. Going forward on my bike.
posted by SpiffyRob at 12:53 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

To make matters worse, if I ever get a horse, I want to name it Bike. This could lead to questions like "What should I feed my bike?" and "Help me get my bike to stop humping the neighbors donkey!"

It's going to lead to madness!
posted by quin at 12:55 PM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

My bike has a brake pedal. Also, a clutch pedal, a throttle pedal, a steering wheels, four wheels and four seats.
posted by qvantamon at 12:56 PM on August 11, 2010

There was a sad story in Boston yesterday that a bicyclist was killed at a busy intersection. In one of the comments to the story, someone writes:

I have to admit I did not see any of the aftermath, and it's a tragic regardless of the specifics, but I think it's a pretty big leap to presume this woman was on a fixed-gear (also, please, stop calling them fixies)...

Why can't we call them fixies?
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:56 PM on August 11, 2010

It's like how when people are talking about buses, and I'm all like, "Do they mean regular bus, or JET-BUS?"
posted by Mister_A at 12:57 PM on August 11, 2010 [12 favorites]

MeTa doesn't get the kind of eyeballs that AskMe does. The vast, vast, vast majority of people asking questions will never see this post, and there won't be any site-wide policy about this, so it's largely futile.

Yep, true.

In any event, it's perfectly acceptable to ask for clarification in AskMe if you're confused about whether they mean bicycle or motorcycle.

Of course, if the reason for this MeTa is that you're far, far too time-pressed to actually click the "more inside" and/or ask for clarification in the thread, I might suggest that you are too busy for the likes of Metafilter anyway.
posted by Gator at 1:00 PM on August 11, 2010

It's like how when people are talking about buses, and I'm all like, "Do they mean regular bus, or JET-BUS?"

Christ on a bus, they're talking about the buses you can drive under. Where have you been?
posted by Elmore at 1:00 PM on August 11, 2010

Hey, I am the Walrus, next time there's a story about something in motorcycles that interests you, how about an FPP exploring trends in the motorcycle world?

I'd love to read such a thing.
posted by jamjam at 1:01 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hey, it's just a little thing that irked the guy. I know I'm poking fun in this thread but I honestly don't see the harm in asking. Walrus, no harm intended; just goofing around.
posted by Mister_A at 1:02 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

In Philadelphia, we do exactly that, DU. "Hey man, my mike needs some new pedals," is the kind of thing you can't swing a dead cat without hearing.

I have never, ever heard this, and I've lived in the area my whole life.

Christ on a bicycle.

You mean this guy?
posted by moviehawk at 1:03 PM on August 11, 2010

*throws Elmore under the bus*
posted by Mister_A at 1:04 PM on August 11, 2010

mullacc: I also promise to differentiate between bicycles and motorcycles.

SpiffyRob: That said: I, too, will be 100% clear when I post on either topic, going forward.

Cool. Now there are three of us ;)
posted by iconomy at 1:06 PM on August 11, 2010

I ride my trike to work.
posted by yeti at 1:09 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Anytime anyone refers to any kind of transportation whatsoever and it turns out not to be a jet-bus I will be disappointed.
posted by Babblesort at 1:12 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

> MeTa doesn't get the kind of eyeballs that AskMe does. The vast, vast, vast majority of people asking questions will never see this post, and there won't be any site-wide policy about this, so it's largely futile.

Yeah, I used to point this out, but then I realized that the vast, vast, vast majority of people who read MeTa just want to snark, joke, talk about recipes, and insult your favorite band, so I gave up. (Hell, that's all I'm here to do, too.) Everyone who reads this thread will have forgotten it long before it scrolls off the front page of MeTa.... except, of course, for I am the Walrus, who will now have the additional exasperation, when they see the next "bike" mentioned on AskMe, of thinking "Goddammit, I made a MeTa post about this! Don't you people read MeTa??"
posted by languagehat at 1:13 PM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

The next time I make a post about bicycles or motorcycles, I will be absolutely crystal clear on this distinction.

This I swear in the name of Spain!
posted by winna at 1:14 PM on August 11, 2010

Really? A MeTa post? For this?

Better this than the mob rabble rousing we've been getting lately.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:15 PM on August 11, 2010

Did you know Apple makes bikes?

I KID PLEASE TO NOT FLAME WAR
posted by Mister_A at 1:16 PM on August 11, 2010

Is this where I can bitch about the lazy use of the preposition "around" in contexts in which it is not appropriate?

You know what bothers me? The joke that goes, "your momma is so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house." It makes no sense. The fact that the house is contained within momma's circumference implies length, not girth! "Your momma is so long" would be more appropriate, no?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 1:17 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Ok, languagehat, you must make with the recipe/s now.
posted by everichon at 1:18 PM on August 11, 2010

There was a sad story in Boston yesterday that a bicyclist was killed at a busy intersection.

This was two blocks from where Dr.E and I currently live. :( There cop cars blocking the intersection off for hours after the accident.

And this accident is exactly why everyone should have a front brake on their bicycles (looking at you, dame).
posted by zizzle at 1:19 PM on August 11, 2010

Note that languagehat has cleverly used his comment as an opportunity to demonstrate the casual usage of they as a valid non-gendered pronoun as he had previously espoused in an earlier Meta.

See some of us do read and remember. In addition to the jokes.
posted by Babblesort at 1:25 PM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

There are only about 1/3 as many motorcycle tagged posts as there are bicycle tagged posts on Ask or MeFi, so I suggest that bikers should use motorbike and cyclists can claim exclusive use of bike. Of course, that won't ever happen, but it would be nice.

I do remember a question about transporting a bike for touring that had a lot of useless answers until the OP let everyone know that they were asking about a motorbike, but I can't really see how the post that spawned this MeTa could have caused more than the briefest confusion for anyone.
posted by ssg at 1:27 PM on August 11, 2010

> Ok, languagehat, you must make with the recipe/s now.

Loseyns.

Take gode broth and do in an erthen pot, take flour of payndemayn and
make therof past with water. and make therof thynne foyles as paper
with a roller, drye it harde and seeth it in broth take Chese ruayn
grated and lay it in disshes with powdour douce. and lay theron
loseyns isode as hoole as thou mizt. and above powdour and chese,
and so twyse or thryse, & serue it forth.
posted by languagehat at 1:32 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

A "bike" is a bicycle. A motorcycle should be referred to as a "mike".

And a tricycle a "tike," a unicycle a "unike," a popsical a "pike," and all that's farcical is "fike."
posted by HP LaserJet P10006 at 1:34 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Recipe for a Salad

To make this condiment, your poet begs
The pounded yellow of two hard-boil'd eggs;
Two boiled potatoes, passed through kitchen sieve,
Smoothness and softness to the salad give.
Let onion atoms lurk within the bowl,
And, half-suspected, animate the whole.
Of mordant mustard add a single spoon,
Distrust the condiment that bites so soon;
But deem it not, thou man of herbs, a fault
To add a double quantity of salt;
Four times the spoon with oil of Lucca crown,
And twice with vinegar procur'd from town;
And lastly, o'er the flavour'd compound toss
A magic soupçon of anchovy sauce.
Oh, green and glorious! Oh, herbaceous treat!
'Twould tempt the dying anchorite to eat:
Back to the world he'd turn his fleeting soul,
And plunge his fingers in the salad-bowl!
Serenely full, the epicure would say,
"Fate cannot harm me, I have dined today."

  —Sydney Smith
posted by languagehat at 1:35 PM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]

> Note that languagehat has cleverly used his comment as an opportunity to demonstrate the casual usage of they as a valid non-gendered pronoun as he had previously espoused in an earlier Meta.

I am a clever chap, am I not?
posted by languagehat at 1:36 PM on August 11, 2010

Hey, I am the Walrus, next time there's a story about something in motorcycles that interests you, how about an FPP exploring trends in the motorcycle world?

I'm not sure if this is snark or not, but I would love to do this. But I am new to motorcycles, riding only 6 months or so, and most of my time has been learning beginner stuff that I figure is probably not interesting to the general public.
posted by I am the Walrus at 1:36 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, your favorite band sucks.
posted by languagehat at 1:36 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Er, that was directed at the world at large, not at I am the Walrus, whose favorite band is, I am sure, of the very highest quality.
posted by languagehat at 1:37 PM on August 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

And this accident is exactly why everyone should have a front brake on their bicycles (looking at you, dame).

Agreed--though the Boston Biker has a photo of the bike (nothing gory, other than a picture of a sad bent bike) that seems to show that it was just a standard geared road bike with brakes.

Ride safe!

Also, tell me why I'm not supposed to say fixies! Dammit, I'm going to milk this MeTa as an end run around the one-question-per-week rule in AskMe.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 1:38 PM on August 11, 2010

Only my closest friends call me fixie. It's a diminutive term.
posted by fixedgear at 1:39 PM on August 11, 2010 [5 favorites]

Modern Translation of languagehat's recipe:

Lost Ends

Take God's-breath (a type of medeival flower) and put it in an earthenware pot; take flour from a Pan-demon (a kind of satyr) and
Use it to make the past tense of water. And place it upon thyme foils (you can replicate this in the modern kitchen with a cup of thyme and a square foot of aluminum foil) as paper,
with a roller, Die Hard (a type of medeival movie) and seize it in broth. Take Chase (Chevy, a type of medeival comedian) ruin,
grate him, and lay him in a dish with powdered douches. Lay thereon
Lost Ends (the scattered remnants of pilgrims' souls), Isolde (from the Wagner musical comedy), a hole, and your mittens. And above the douche-powder and Chase,
add a twist and a thrist (it is unclear to modern scholars what a "thrist" is), and serue it fourth (fourth, because it is to be serued only after three other delicious meals, all of which should have been thoroughly thristed).
posted by Greg Nog at 1:43 PM on August 11, 2010 [6 favorites]

Agreed--though the Boston Biker has a photo of the bike (nothing gory, other than a picture of a sad bent bike) that seems to show that it was just a standard geared road bike with brakes.

Goddammit Haddock, I made a MeTa post about this! Don't you read MeTa?? You are posting in the freaking thread for crying out loud!!

sorry, I just had to do this. but languagehat was right
posted by I am the Walrus at 1:46 PM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

Did you know Apple makes bikes?

So does Google, but you know they'd like to make all future roads into toll roads, while lambasting how awful Apple is for having private roads, right?
posted by nomadicink at 1:46 PM on August 11, 2010

While we're here, what do you think of all this weather we've been having?

I'm agin it.
posted by Gator at 1:48 PM on August 11, 2010

Can we please differentiate "bicycles" and "motorcycles"?

HEAR YE HEAR YE!

HENCEFORTH THE SHORTER SLANGY TERM FOR 'MOTORCYCLE' SHALL BE 'MOCYCLE'.

FURTHERMORE THE SHORTEST SLANGY TERM FOR 'MOTORCYCLE' SHALL HERETOHENCE BE 'MOKE'.

FINALLY, A PERSON WHO RIDES (AND PEOPLE THAT RIDE) MOKES SHALL NO LONGER BE TERMED 'BIKER(S)' AND FROM NOW ON ARE TO BE REFERRED TO ALSO AS 'MOKE(S)'.

Thank you, and have a nice day.
posted by carsonb at 2:03 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Heh. I'm waiting for the slangy term for people who ride kites.
posted by qvantamon at 2:04 PM on August 11, 2010

The word you are looking for, qvantamon, is meshugoyim.
posted by Mister_A at 2:07 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

How come you can bicycle on a motorway, but you can't motorcycle on a bikeway?
posted by box at 2:24 PM on August 11, 2010

Right, so my dad and his college roommates have always been huge cycling aficionados. In fact, I don't know a week in the last 2 years that my dad hasn't gone out on a long distance bike ride. When Jake, one of his old roommates, found out his daughter's new boyfriend was a big fan of biking, all of them were really excited. "You'll finally have a son to go biking with!", we told him. "He'll be the perfect man for her." Though Jake lives a bit of a distance from us now, he'll often go on bike rides with my dad, and so new boyfriend was invited to bring his bike over and join them for a ride. "It'll be great!", we said. "You'll have such a great relationship with your daughter's future husband!"

Jake and my dad are prepping their bikes, waiting for the boyfriend to show, when they hear a loud, obnoxious motorcycle coming around the block. A little upset that their serene morning is being disrupted, they decided to go inside, but who should show up but the new boyfriend. On a motorcycle. On his bike.

I don't know who was more shocked. Young Hell's Angel, or spandex clad Jake.
posted by niles at 2:25 PM on August 11, 2010 [9 favorites]

How come you can bicycle on a motorway, but you can't motorcycle on a bikeway?

Have you been to Massachusetts?
posted by Admiral Haddock at 2:27 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

niles wins.
posted by everichon at 2:33 PM on August 11, 2010

Peaches ripe three peeled pitted quartered,
with a cup of milk and cream blended
to which 1/3 cup sugar is added
with a tablespoon of karo
a teaspoon of vanilla
dash of salt
chilled
and
frozen in the appropriate device. Serve with rum on a warm porch.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:42 PM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

This is the kind of Meta thread where recipes would've been okay from comment #1 on.
posted by gman at 2:43 PM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

I am the Walrus: "I am a motorcycle enthusiast (sometimes called a "biker").

Other people like the exercise aspect of riding a bicycle (these people might also be called "bikers")."

Wait, I'm confused. What do you call a singular bicyclist? Could you please be more specific?
posted by iamkimiam at 3:00 PM on August 11, 2010

Fine, I'll be specific about bicycles/motorcycles from now on. But if anyone gets confused about me asking about my uni, I'm not calling it a unike. I don't care what you say.
posted by nat at 3:04 PM on August 11, 2010

Uni is short for "university", silly.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:05 PM on August 11, 2010

Uni? Mmmmmmmmmmmm, sea urchin. A little shisho, a little squeeze of lemon...
posted by fixedgear at 3:17 PM on August 11, 2010

I've got a bike you can ride if you like
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:26 PM on August 11, 2010

I don't wanna die. I just wanna ride my motorcy... cle.
posted by drjimmy11 at 3:28 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

I so already linked that classic Pink Floyd song already.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:29 PM on August 11, 2010

I fuckin' hate his motorbike!
posted by box at 3:31 PM on August 11, 2010

FURTHERMORE THE SHORTEST SLANGY TERM FOR 'MOTORCYCLE' SHALL HERETOHENCE BE 'MOKE'.

A moke is something quite different.
posted by pompomtom at 3:33 PM on August 11, 2010

Does anyone have a recipe for disaster?
posted by iconomy at 3:42 PM on August 11, 2010

Gordon Ramsay.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:54 PM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]

Harry Chapin, but it involves 30,000 lbs of bananas.
posted by Elmore at 4:01 PM on August 11, 2010

Ooooh.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:13 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

I am the Walrus said:
"But I am new to motorcycles, riding only 6 months or so, and most of my time has been learning beginner stuff that I figure is probably not interesting to the general public."

An FPP built of good resources and stories about beginner stuff would probably be fairly well-received, considering.
posted by batmonkey at 4:23 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Your Korean girlfriend's mom may have fed you sesame leaves. You might remember them fondly, and you might idly wonder where to get them, but you've never considered preparing your own.

Today all of that will change.

Ingredients:

1 bundle of sesame leaves*
3 scallions, finely chopped
3 cloves of garlic, minced
one teaspoon red pepper powder**
one teaspoon sugar
one teaspoon toasted sesame seeds
one table spoon sesame oil
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/8 cup water

Okay. So mix everything but the leaves in a small bowl. Drizzle the sauce between sesame leaves in layers lake a lasagna. Do it all in a reusable plastic container; the leaves will soak up more of the sauce the longer you keep them. They should stay fresh for about a week, and in my opinion taste best after a day or two of resting in the fridge.



*available fresh from your Korean girlfriend's mom's garden or, if you do not currently have an Asian girlfriend, in the produce section of your local Asian supermarket
**your Korean girlfriend has a large bag of this in her freezer
posted by brina at 4:31 PM on August 11, 2010 [6 favorites]

"This is the kind of Meta thread where recipes would've been okay from comment #1 on."

Usually, I prefer clever snarking, but in this case, go fuck yourself. Your self-important self.

You had your chance to do better, and you failed. Go away.

BTW, recipes are never okay on MeTa. No exceptions. No, not even that one you just thought of. Either keep it on topic or say something funny. There's never an excuse to be stupid/uncreative/obtuse.
posted by Eideteker at 4:32 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Anyone know what kind of bike FishBike is?
posted by cjorgensen at 4:33 PM on August 11, 2010

Ouch. Okay, no more recipes from me.
posted by brina at 4:34 PM on August 11, 2010

Recipes vs. Motormikes: Serious business.
posted by qvantamon at 4:35 PM on August 11, 2010

WHERE'S MY FUCKING RISOTTO?!?!

/RamsayFilter
posted by Mister_A at 4:35 PM on August 11, 2010

There seems to be a whole lot more demand for a recipe site than there is for most of the other pony requests.
posted by box at 4:37 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

brina, your recipe has the distinction of being the last recipe on MeTa EVER. Unless some jerk decides to take that away from you, in which case they're jerks, whoever they are.
posted by Eideteker at 4:39 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

So why are MeTa posts that are going nowhere kept open for this kind of stuff? Isn't this what MetaChat is for?
posted by proj at 4:49 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Has Eideteker overthrown Meatbomb to reign as the Astral Mod?
posted by languagehat at 4:51 PM on August 11, 2010

No, I'm just a loud-mouthed asshole. One who is fine with a joke, but doesn't like it when people encourage derails of the nature "this post never should have been made, you should never have been made/born, your post is stupid and you're stupid." I could see if Walrus was pranking us, but I don't think that good faith should be met with bad.
posted by Eideteker at 4:55 PM on August 11, 2010

You know what would go nicely here? Ina Garten's roasted tomato soup, easy on the thyme.
posted by fixedgear at 4:57 PM on August 11, 2010

apa kabar
baik
posted by unliteral at 4:59 PM on August 11, 2010

That is a great recipe, thanks for sharing brina!
posted by mlis at 5:00 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Can we please differentiante between hamburgers and Hamburg the city in Germany. It's confusing.
posted by jonmc at 5:00 PM on August 11, 2010

Anyone know what kind of bike FishBike is?

A bike for a fish to ride, obviously.

Which is a motorbike. As are all bikes. It's only a question of the precise nature of the motor.
posted by FishBike at 5:05 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Box, why would we need two recipe sites?
posted by mendel at 5:05 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, don't sweat Eideteker, haters gonna hate. Or oddly relate.
posted by mlis at 5:06 PM on August 11, 2010

I think we know what kind of bike Melanie Safia is talking about (at 1:09 or so).
posted by bilabial at 5:10 PM on August 11, 2010

They may even exacerbate the thread's already recipe-riddled state.
posted by everichon at 5:14 PM on August 11, 2010

So why are MeTa posts that are going nowhere kept open for this kind of stuff?

Because the moderators are lazy! Lazy!
posted by cjorgensen at 5:16 PM on August 11, 2010

> Yeah, I used to point this out, but then I realized that the vast, vast, vast majority of people who read MeTa just want to snark, joke, talk about recipes, and insult your favorite band, so I gave up. (Hell, that's all I'm here to do, too.)

I'm sure at this point the MeTa is 40% intentional, or at least serendipitously a padded room for the fighty crowd. Think of it as kind of like a grease trap for trouble makers.

guilty as charged
posted by nola at 5:17 PM on August 11, 2010

WHERE'S MY FUCKING RISOTTO?!?!

And the winner is... none of you!
posted by fleacircus at 5:20 PM on August 11, 2010

Um. That was melanie safka.

3 minute edit window. I want one today.
posted by bilabial at 5:23 PM on August 11, 2010

SpiffyRob: “MeTa doesn't get the kind of eyeballs that AskMe does.”

Fun fact: this is actually mostly due to an unexplained disparity in those of the eye variety, as MeTa in fact gets more balls in general than the rest of the site combined.
posted by koeselitz at 5:26 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

I blame Freddie Mercury.
posted by terrapin at 5:31 PM on August 11, 2010

I had a brief cognitive dissonance on this a while back when a motorcyclist friend of mine (online, so I sorta forgot she was an m-biker) got into an accident and said on twitter that she "crashed her bike" and when I looked at the pics: no bicycle! Because wow, I'm so into the bicycle.

I do prefer to go with "cyclist" when I'm thinking about it, and the full "bicycle," just for clarity, although most of the time it's possible to figure out which kind of "bike" from the context.

Oh, and my favorite soup, which a friend used to call "easiest date meal ever": Tom Ka Gai

1 lb boneless chicken, cut in bite-size pieces
1 can coconut milk
1 packet ginger-coconut soup mix
1 can chicken stock, or equivalent amount of water (and bouillon(?) if available) - I just fill the empty coconut milk can with water, that gets ALL the coconut milk in!
Lime juice
Peas (optional)

Mix the coconut milk & soup mix in a saucepan and heat just until boiling
Add chicken, reduce to medium heat, cook until chicken is about done (5 min or so)
Add water/stock, continue to simmer until soup is sufficiently hot
Remove from heat, add dash lime juice & peas

Serve over rice.

Also awesome when you have a head cold.
posted by epersonae at 6:03 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Today is the day when I found out that I need a Korean girlfriend.
posted by Kwine at 6:11 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

Tom ka gai is my favourite soup, period. Not sure I'd want it with peas, though.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 6:18 PM on August 11, 2010

"Oh, and my favorite soup, which a friend used to call "easiest date meal ever": Tom Ka Gai..."

I hope you're happy. You just made brina cry. >=(
posted by Eideteker at 6:24 PM on August 11, 2010

"Today is the day when I found out that I need a Korean girlfriend."

Everyone needs a Korean girlfriend, at least once in life. CAUTION: She may turn into Korean wife, as my uncle found out. Poor guy's never been the same.
posted by Eideteker at 6:25 PM on August 11, 2010

I have a Korean grocery store that I go to a lot. That's kind of like a Korean girlfriend, right?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:27 PM on August 11, 2010

The cashier at H Mart winked at me, does that count?
posted by fixedgear at 6:34 PM on August 11, 2010

The cashiers at H Mart won't even give me the time of day! Good thing they have kimchi, pork belly and silkwork pupa to satisfy my aching soul.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:45 PM on August 11, 2010

My wife will not sign off on the Korean girlfriend idea.
posted by Mister_A at 6:49 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

I didn't go to the supermarket today, so I have nothing to report on the new weird product front. I did however stop at 7-11 and get some Watermelon Joose and Nutter Butter Bites for the ride home. It was nice.
posted by jonmc at 6:53 PM on August 11, 2010

DAmn that's the new-style liquid crack, is it, jonmc?
posted by Mister_A at 7:07 PM on August 11, 2010

They still make Cisco.
posted by box at 7:46 PM on August 11, 2010

OMG, there's totally a non-disambiguated bike question that just popped up on AskMe. Shall we mock the asker mercilessly and drag him over here to account for his actions?
posted by donnagirl at 7:57 PM on August 11, 2010

That tears it! If I ever get a motorcycle, I'm going to be sure to get a Motobécane. Or a Peugeot. Or maybe a Bianchi. Or perhaps a Raleigh. Or a Puch. Or even a Schwinn. (But not this Schwinn.)
posted by hydrophonic at 8:32 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

epersonae, you broke my heart. I was going to cry, but then I remembered I have sesame leaves in the refrigerator.
posted by brina at 8:37 PM on August 11, 2010

I went to the movie theater. I wanted jujubees. All they had were Bikes and Mikes.
posted by klangklangston at 10:59 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]

My motorbike's tax class is "Bicycle". Really.
posted by Mike1024 at 5:38 AM on August 12, 2010

I promise to henceforth use only the terms "real bike" and "loud smelly thing."
posted by Zed at 7:57 AM on August 12, 2010

<80's comic>English! What's up with that?</80's comic>
posted by chairface at 11:17 AM on August 12, 2010

I work in the motorcycle industry. I also enjoy riding bicycles. Naturally, this ambiguity has come up before. The only solution is context.

Many motorcyclists don't object to being called bikers, but 'bikers' has a connotation (cruiser-style motorcycles, 'biker bars,' one-percenters, etc.) that many sportbikers, dual-sporters and motocrossers don't appreciate. So calling all motorcyclists bikers is, in itself, problematic.

end beanplate
posted by workerant at 11:26 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

'I promise to henceforth use only the terms "real bike" and "loud smelly thing."'

You mean "non-Harleys" and "Harleys."

One of the cutest moments I've experienced as a motorcyclist is when there was a mother and her children nearby. The smallest saw me getting ready to start my bike and went to cover her ears. Her mom just kinda laughed and I said, "Don't worry, sweetie, it's not that kind of bike." When I started up my bike (which sounds more like a Jetsons car than an ICE), the little girl looked at me like, "Bitch please. You got me all scared for THAT?" Sooo adorable!

(The last safety instruction I give to any passengers is that they are in charge of waving to kids, old folks, and basically anyone else. I can see why so many superheroes ride motorcycles; kids really think you're Superman when they see you. I love kids, so it's great!)
posted by Eideteker at 11:29 AM on August 12, 2010

i would just like to mention that my dog is named dirtbike, and she doesn't have pedals at all...
posted by Bohemia Mountain at 11:35 AM on August 12, 2010

I had a minor annoyance that I wanted to air. Is MeTa not the place?

This is fine, in case no one mentioned it previously. Folks have the prickly heat, I swear it.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:05 PM on August 12, 2010

The only "real" motorcycles I've ridden were a bored-out Kawasaki KZ1000, which I rate "HOLY FUCKING FUCK" and also "Thank God for the long wheelbase;" and a Ninja 250 which I rate "Yay fun!" and also, "If it breaks down I can just carry it."
posted by Mister_A at 2:29 PM on August 12, 2010

i would just like to mention that my dog is named dirtbike, and she doesn't have pedals at all...

So you depedaled your dog? You monster.
posted by mullacc at 4:02 PM on August 12, 2010 [4 favorites]

mullacc: I also promise to differentiate between bicycles and motorcycles.

SpiffyRob: That said: I, too, will be 100% clear when I post on either topic, going forward.

Cool. Now there are three of us ;)
posted by iconomy at 4:06 PM on August 11 [+] [!]

Imma keep obfuscating.
posted by toodleydoodley at 4:16 PM on August 12, 2010

Can we please differentiate between board gaming, video gaming, role-playing, and gambling? Asking about "gaming" is confusing.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:34 PM on August 12, 2010

Speaking as someone who likes to dress up like a Scottie dog and play high-stakes games of Nintendo Monopoly, I agree.
posted by box at 4:52 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Can we please differentiate between board gaming, video gaming, role-playing, and gambling?

I'm game.
posted by mullacc at 5:00 PM on August 12, 2010

Venison or quail?
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:12 PM on August 12, 2010

Maybe we should have an unspoken rule for bikes like we do with the cat posts? It'd be like INVISIBLE BIKE, but, you know, with cats.
posted by iamkimiam at 5:40 PM on August 12, 2010

Or an invisible backpack.
posted by fixedgear at 5:56 PM on August 12, 2010

So, I "like" NPR on Facebook, and just now, from NPR, this shows up in my News Feed: "Tell us your favorite bike stories..and most importantly where you like to ride." What am I to do??????
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:05 PM on August 12, 2010

Point them to Floydd's campground, it's a bike story and they might even get the hint.
posted by Mike1024 at 12:42 AM on August 13, 2010

I am the Walrus: "I am a motorcycle enthusiast (sometimes called a "biker")."

As a member of a three patch motorcycle club, you are a motorcycle rider or a motorcycle enthusiast. You are not a biker.

You see where this ends up? Yeah, it be nice if those hipster kids on their toys used "bicycle," but it isn't going to happen any more than you not calling yourself a biker is ever going to happen.
posted by QIbHom at 9:27 AM on August 13, 2010

but it isn't going to happen any more than you not calling yourself a biker is ever going to happen.

Actually, IatW called him/herself a motorcycle enthusiast.
posted by axiom at 3:20 PM on August 13, 2010

If you think my bicycle is a toy, I will race you from anywhere in Philadelphia to anywhere else in Philadelphia at at 8:45 am on any weekday.
REAL BIKES RULE!
posted by Mister_A at 6:09 PM on August 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

The second "at" is for irony.

Whither the edit pony?
posted by Mister_A at 6:10 PM on August 13, 2010

Also, tell me why I'm not supposed to say fixies!

Maybe it's become derogatory? Here in Portland, I never hear "fixies" except in a sentence that goes something like...

Damn hipsters with their damn mustaches drinking PBR on their damn fixies! When it starts raining they won't be riding those fixies anymore!
posted by bluedaisy at 12:01 AM on August 14, 2010

Moped?
posted by Splunge at 4:21 AM on August 14, 2010