Ve haf vays of making u talk...

August 12, 2010 4:54 PM

Today at work my friend Trevor told me that on Sunday (my day off) afternoon, a man and a woman came up to him and asked for 'jonmc.' He said they had 'European accents.' He told them I was out and to come back. They haven't. Which one of you people is it? Fess up.
posted by jonmc to MetaFilter-Related at 4:54 PM (175 comments total)

It was you and Pips, from 5 days in the future. They wanted to tell you about the new Volkswagen they bought...
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:58 PM on August 12, 2010 [8 favorites]

Let's hope they weren't international assassins.
posted by clockwork at 4:58 PM on August 12, 2010 [7 favorites]

Were they asking about mustache rides?
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 5:00 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Was Natasha and I. Were lookink for Moose and Squirrel.
posted by DU at 5:01 PM on August 12, 2010 [39 favorites]

I think the metric of how long a person has been on metafilter shouldn't be user numbers, but rather if you remember a time when days passed without a metatalk.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:01 PM on August 12, 2010 [4 favorites]

....and now for something you'll really like....
posted by jonmc at 5:02 PM on August 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

European, huh? That narrows it down some.
posted by fixedgear at 5:06 PM on August 12, 2010 [4 favorites]

That's what he said, but he may not be the world's greatest accentologist.
posted by jonmc at 5:08 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

It was not me if you want to start ruling us out one by one. I would have asked for the Renaissance Bum anyway.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 5:13 PM on August 12, 2010

If you had, Trev would've said "Which one?"
posted by jonmc at 5:14 PM on August 12, 2010

"Bothering jonmc at work" is probably one of the items on the imaginary annual MetaFilter secret scavenger hunt.
posted by yaymukund at 5:15 PM on August 12, 2010 [67 favorites]

It was the Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol. They were speaking in "European" accents so as not to give away the surprise.

If I'm right, you have to share your winnings!
posted by amyms at 5:21 PM on August 12, 2010

Personally, I'm surprised to discover that jonmc works. I tend to just imagine him sitting around being ironic, by, like, wearing a smoking jacket to actually smoke or something. Shouldn't being jonmc, be a self-supporting gig?
posted by jacquilynne at 5:22 PM on August 12, 2010 [5 favorites]

New Yorkers: if you're not doing anything Sunday, who's up for a trip to the Strand, wearing berets and carrying baguettes, going, "ALLO, WHERE EEZ ZIS JON M SEES"
posted by Greg Nog at 5:27 PM on August 12, 2010 [81 favorites]

jonmc isn't ironic.
posted by jonmc at 5:27 PM on August 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

Greg, I'd prefer you were all Germans wearing leiderhosen and bearing bratwurst and beer.
posted by jonmc at 5:28 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

"imaginary annual MetaFilter secret scavenger hunt"

As organized by the Imaginary MetaFilter Cartel.

Don't forget #206 on the imaginary list: "Drive Highway 101 between a Bay Area Meetup and L.A. Meetup (either way), stopping outside San Luis Obispo to give Craig/Ex-Wendell a ride to Costco where he will buy 23 rotisserie chickens."
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:29 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

It was Meme & Tate; they'll be back again. And again. And again. And again...
posted by iamkimiam at 5:32 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

jonmc isn't ironic.

But he does enjoy an occasional HAMBURGER (but only occasionally, and not from JonMcDonalds). Speaking of sandwiches, how about a mix of baguette-carrying French and bratwurst-carrying Germans?

And if cortex can't make being "MetaFilter's Own" a self-supporting gig, who can?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:46 PM on August 12, 2010

actually, I'm on a bit of spaetzle kick, so if you all want to pretend to be Czech and bring me Spaetzle topped with sheeps-milk cheese and slab bacon (and a side of homemade headcheese) from this place near me, that'd be cool, too. It's really delicious, but it oughta come with a pillow. ZZzzzzz...

(seriously, though, I'm wondering who this was...)
posted by jonmc at 5:48 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

If they had european accents, and they were in Manhattan, we might look for them at the U.N. . . . Owen.

*puts on sunglasses*

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
posted by mattdidthat at 5:49 PM on August 12, 2010 [5 favorites]

It vas I! I jumped from zee screen of a Bergman film and sailed zee sefen seas to find you, oh MeFi man.
posted by orange swan at 5:56 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Was it two representatives from the Lux Lounge?
posted by shakespeherian at 5:57 PM on August 12, 2010 [32 favorites]

I had a bag of liquorice favored Utz pork rinds with a wasabi Yoohoo, and a banana moon pie for dessert today
posted by nola at 5:59 PM on August 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

Well, I wish it had been me and Ralph, but trust me, we don't sound European.

But if I ever make it to New York, it WILL be-and I will bring a Pocky offering with me. (Either that or a sausage biscuit. Do they have those in Noo Yawk City?)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:01 PM on August 12, 2010

"Is it safe?"
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 6:07 PM on August 12, 2010

But if I ever make it to New York, it WILL be-and I will bring a Pocky offering with me. (Either that or a sausage biscuit. Do they have those in Noo Yawk City?)

Halfway through this comment it turned into a bunch of words I don't know.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:08 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Pocky are like little straws of biscuit with chocolate on them, they're stupid.
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:20 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

"Sausage" is something you'd have to have a bacon to understand.
posted by DU at 6:22 PM on August 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

A sausage biscuit is just a regular biscuit served with sausage gravy, which is pretty much just sausage and flour and milk.
posted by box at 6:24 PM on August 12, 2010

Pocky are like little straws of biscuit with chocolate on them, they're stupid the greatest thing ever.

AND. If you think that Regular Pocky is insufficiently masculine, there is Men's Pocky. That is all.
posted by AkzidenzGrotesk at 6:25 PM on August 12, 2010 [5 favorites]

sausage biscuit is a gift from god, provided there is milk gravy and strong black coffee
posted by toodleydoodley at 6:27 PM on August 12, 2010

SUM SPARTACUS!
posted by carsonb at 6:34 PM on August 12, 2010

I wonder how my coworkers would respond if someone showed up here and said 'stavrosthewonderchicken 찾고있어요'.

Either utter confusion or instant realization that it'd have to be me, or some combination of the two, I guess.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:35 PM on August 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

It was my testicles. They're pretentious. I apologize. Again.
posted by yerfatma at 6:41 PM on August 12, 2010 [11 favorites]

I've heard that jonmc is big in Europe.
posted by ODiV at 6:42 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

If someone came to my job and asked for 'karmakaze', they would ask how they got past the security desk... and then have no idea what the visitor was talking about.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:44 PM on August 12, 2010

Knock me darn wiv a fevver, e's not a Clever Trevor is 'e. Ow 'ard would it've bin to get their Samantha Mumba?
posted by unliteral at 6:54 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

And what about Noo? Is that some kind of brunch?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:02 PM on August 12, 2010

Oh man why the fuck did he wait 5 days to tell you! The week is practically nutted already. Never trust a fucking trevor.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:04 PM on August 12, 2010

I'm sorry, Trevor. You just make me so angry sometimes, you know?
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:07 PM on August 12, 2010

Heh. The trevor in question here is a white guy raised in Hawaii who's a dead ringer for the dude in the freecreditreport.com ads.
posted by jonmc at 7:11 PM on August 12, 2010

A sausage biscuit is just a regular biscuit served with sausage gravy, which is pretty much just sausage and flour and milk.

No, no, no, that's biscuits with sausage gravy.

A sausage biscuit is a piece of patty sausage incased in a split biscuit, sandwich style. Have NONE of you ever been to a Hardee's for breakfast in the South??????
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:28 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Been to Waffle House, but did not have the sausage biscuit.
posted by mlis at 7:30 PM on August 12, 2010

Behold, the mighty sausage biscuit.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:30 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Banana Moon Pies are awful. Just awful. But an original Moon Pie, microwaved for a few seconds until it's nice and smushy? That's a mighty fine treat, right there.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:32 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Why no cross-post on MeCha? I'd wager it was more likely someone who checks that site more often than this one. But I promised not to tell, so that's all you'll get outta me.
posted by terrapin at 7:32 PM on August 12, 2010

Naw, I just meant my old Ain't Patty's Bickets 'n Dwavy. divine.
posted by toodleydoodley at 7:34 PM on August 12, 2010

One time I got a confused email from a colleague asking if I'm roll truck roll. That was awesome.
posted by roll truck roll at 7:35 PM on August 12, 2010

> That's what he said, but he may not be the world's greatest accentologist.

So they might have just been from upstate, i.e. beyond Scarsdale.
posted by jfuller at 7:37 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

A sausage biscuit is a piece of patty sausage incased in a split biscuit

My mistake. I just wanted an excuse to post a recipe.
posted by box at 7:37 PM on August 12, 2010

Oh yeah? Well, someone called my office today asking for "Alison"...and

...uh...

...I need a new username.
posted by Alison at 7:41 PM on August 12, 2010 [15 favorites]

I went up the road & got myself a pad prik sod with mixed seafood. There isn't quite as much chilli as I would have liked, but otherwise it's pretty good.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:46 PM on August 12, 2010

It wasn't me. I went by on Sunday, but just to talk to Trevor.
posted by Nabubrush at 7:46 PM on August 12, 2010

A sausage biscuit is a piece of patty sausage incased in a split biscuit, sandwich style.

This
posted by nola at 7:47 PM on August 12, 2010

Oh c'mon they have sausage biscuits at every single McD's in the country. Also: biscuits and sausage gravy is a total separate thing. And both of them are gross.

They should make sausage biscuits the way they made egg puffs in India: a hard-boiled egg completely packaged inside of some sort of puff pastry. They were delicious, and a sausage version would have been great too.
posted by paisley henosis at 7:47 PM on August 12, 2010

I'm fairly certian it wasn't me.

In other news:

It's 1942 and the Gestapo have captured an enemy clock. They suspect it's a spy and drag it down to the interrogation room, where it sits with its face in its hands.

"Vhere ees ze enemy landing zone?" they ask, but the clock simply replies:
"tick, tick, tick."

"Ven vill ze attack take place?!" they demand, louder now, but the clock again has a blank face:
"tick, tick, tick."

"VHY HAF YOU COME?!" they shout, beginning to lose their temper. Once more, the clock is stoic:
"tick, tick, tick."

"You know -" the gestapo threaten, "ve haf vays of making you tock."
posted by twirlypen at 7:49 PM on August 12, 2010 [89 favorites]

It was me, but me from 2025, and also me, but from 2027. We had urgent shit to impart to you. They--we--I mean, well, IDK what "we" meant cos when I told me I was tipsy snockered.

Sorry.
posted by everichon at 8:07 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

It wasn't me, but I saw a cute girl at the Nicollet Farmer's Market today with a Strand bag over her shoulder and I thought "Please let me remember to go hunt jonmc down next time I get to NYC". I will not go on Sunday, now that I know. Also my accent is neutral. So you'll know.
posted by padraigin at 8:08 PM on August 12, 2010

heh. Reminds me of when I moved to a new house, during the winter mix cd swap, then a few weeks later got an email from my old landlords asking me if I knew someone named 'mannequito' because there were two packages addressed to said 'mannequito'.
posted by mannequito at 8:12 PM on August 12, 2010 [4 favorites]

I was actually in your neighborhood last week, Jon, and considered stopping in, but I was with my brother who said he really didn't want to deal with meeting some guy I knew but didn't really know from online, so we walked down to Katz's instead. Ultimately, I think we all were better off.
posted by crunchland at 8:25 PM on August 12, 2010

Ha. Well I was walking up broadway yesterday and I thought that I might go into the strand to visit you but then I remembered that I wanted to go to k-mart and buy a new bath mat because the kid puked all over our other one so I cut across astor, went to k-mart and bought it, as well as some licorice tea (yummo!) and then when I got out I thought oooh coffee, so went to the mudtruck and so then I was on the other side of 4th ave and forgot about you until I got to union square and by then I was too hot to walk any longer becuase I'd walked up from spring st in 90some degree weather so I just got on the subway and went home.

So, it wasn't me. Yesterday. Or Sunday.
posted by gaspode at 8:30 PM on August 12, 2010

All I can report is that my long-distant experiments in telepathy are coming along well. (Trevor is test subject 1B34F in case any of you see the paper in the MJBS in a couple of months.) My lab is working on a 4,200-mile transmission next week. Which one of you out there will be asked for by MeFi-handle next? Time will tell. (That's not the answer, by the way.)

Thanks, jonmc, for your small role in advancing psueudoscience. Mu hu hu ha. ha. cough
posted by not_on_display at 8:31 PM on August 12, 2010

Banana Moon Pies are awful. Just awful.

Well yeah.
posted by nola at 8:45 PM on August 12, 2010

This dude?
posted by special-k at 8:45 PM on August 12, 2010

I'm pretty sure it was these two.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 8:51 PM on August 12, 2010

actually, I'm on a bit of spaetzle kick, so if you all want to pretend to be Czech and bring me Spaetzle topped with sheeps-milk cheese and slab bacon

Yes yes bryndzové halušky yes yes! Didn't realize you could make it out of spaetzle. Eyes: opened.
posted by soma lkzx at 9:20 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Today at work my friend Trevor told me
that a man and a woman came in and asked for 'jonmc.'
He said they had a European accent'
and told them I was out and to please come back.
But as of this moment I think they still haven't
I suspect that the visitors were one from this pack.
posted by empath at 9:47 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

If someone showed up at my work and asked for Jacquilynne, I would assume they were delivering a package. Of course, my username is my real name and I work from home, so that's actually a pretty much weekly occurrence. Me and the CanadaPost guy are like this ||.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:11 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

A couple from over the pond
On a Sunday strolled into the Strand
Can we see jonmc?
We're from Mefi you see
And we've brought him this lovely palm frond

OK, I got nothin'.
posted by Meatbomb at 10:18 PM on August 12, 2010 [5 favorites]

Pond and Strand?? Well, that ain't no sausage gravy, that's for sure.
posted by smoke at 10:24 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

If someone came to my job and asked for cortex, I would be like WHY ARE YOU ON MY LAWN, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS PRETTY WEIRD AND I SHOULD CALL THE POLICE wait wait oh hey you're the guy who made the post about 18th century pornographic engravings, come on in, we'll play some darts or whatever.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:25 PM on August 12, 2010 [15 favorites]

Pond and Strand??

It works for me, you just gotta use a British accent (strahhnd).
posted by 1000monkeys at 10:31 PM on August 12, 2010

So how did they pronounce it? I always wondered if it was "Jon Emcee" or "Jon Mick." I tend to think the former in my head...
posted by drjimmy11 at 10:32 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Once someone went into Matt Haughey's employer's office and asked for mathowie and oh wait...
posted by IndigoRain at 10:44 PM on August 12, 2010

Yeah, but remember, Matt once worked for Ev Williams when he owned Blogger and when somebody came in asking for mathowie he fired EVERYBODY.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:08 PM on August 12, 2010

Wait. jonmc's works at The Strand? Also his name isn't acutally johnmc?? WTF.

P.S. Expect people (ok, fine, one person) with a CALIFORNIA accent asking for you in October.
posted by grapesaresour at 11:20 PM on August 12, 2010

I worked in a vegetarian diner. Too many people came in and asked for a plate of beans. I thought everyone was on MetaFilter. I finally got a t-shirt that said, "Reading Blue? What's your user number?"
posted by JohnnyGunn at 11:22 PM on August 12, 2010

cjorgensen writes "I think the metric of how long a person has been on metafilter shouldn't be user numbers, but rather if you remember a time when days passed without a metatalk."

Like March of this year and January of last year?
posted by Mitheral at 11:55 PM on August 12, 2010

I think the metric of how long a person has been on metafilter shouldn't be user numbers, but rather if you remember a time when days passed without a metatalk.

Always pining for the Golden Age that never was.
posted by sourwookie at 12:13 AM on August 13, 2010

paisley henosis: "They should make sausage biscuits the way they made egg puffs in India: a hard-boiled egg completely packaged inside of some sort of puff pastry. They were delicious, and a sausage version would have been great too."

Ask and you shall receive.
posted by rhizome at 12:24 AM on August 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

wait.
shouldn't we all be grumbling about how this should be on askme?
posted by artof.mulata at 12:56 AM on August 13, 2010

A sausage biscuit is a piece of patty sausage incased in a split biscuit

We call those shmiscuits hereabouts, and they are quite delicious indeed.
posted by deep thought sunstar at 1:33 AM on August 13, 2010

A sausage biscuit is just a regular biscuit served with sausage gravy, which is pretty much just sausage and flour and milk.

As you may already know, that's not a sausage biscuit, but if it were served with sausage gravy, then you should know that the operative parts of the gravy are butter, pepper and onion, along with the milk, flour and sausage/grease. If you make the gravy without the butter, pepper and onion, it will taste BAD.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:43 AM on August 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

It wasn't me, although, as you know, I always pop in when I'm in the area. It's not actually to see you, but it's because I have a crush on Neil, who is just so (sigh!) manly the way he yells "Getdafuckouttahere" at the homeless guys trying to sell him stinky dumpster books.
posted by essexjan at 2:08 AM on August 13, 2010 [2 favorites]

Banana Moon Pies are awful. Just awful.

"I'm only going to say this once, so listen well. My dream is that one day our republic makes the best damn sweets on the peninsula. Got it?

Until then, all I can do is dream about these Choco Pies."
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:05 AM on August 13, 2010

Damn, I suspect that was a Vietnamese Choco Pie, when it should have been a Korean one.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:07 AM on August 13, 2010

Right, so which one of youse is this?
posted by Skygazer at 3:14 AM on August 13, 2010

When I was pregnant, the only craving I had was for tempura battered boiled eggs from the snout-in-the-trough chinese food place at the food court at Indooroopilly.

They stopped doing them years ago and I want one again. Now. NOW!
posted by h00py at 4:11 AM on August 13, 2010

If one of them looked like David Niven then I'm pretty sure it wasn't me as I don't have a pencil thin moustache.
posted by MuffinMan at 4:13 AM on August 13, 2010

so did you hear the one about the man with a moustache on a motorcycle to miami?
posted by infini at 4:47 AM on August 13, 2010

Behold, the mighty sausage biscuit.

Next up, we explore the ethnic mysteries of the pancake.
posted by fleacircus at 5:03 AM on August 13, 2010

I had a package go astray once to another apartment and the lady asked me for ID before she would give it to me. Since winna is most definitely not what appears on my driver's license I had to go back to my house and get an awesome box a friend sent me with hand-drawn glittery dinosaurs all over the packaging which was sent to winna at my address.

The moral of this tale is that you should save boxes which have hand-drawn glittery dinosaurs with your address on them as it will enable you to get your box full of Danish chocolate frogs and Diamanda Galás cds. I am sorry it is not a more widely applicable moral.
posted by winna at 5:36 AM on August 13, 2010 [5 favorites]

Pond and Strand??

It works for me, you just gotta use a British accent (strahhnd).

I brought one of these to work with me today, but I can't make it do what you say it does.
posted by biffa at 5:42 AM on August 13, 2010

the accent or the pond?
posted by infini at 6:00 AM on August 13, 2010

Have NONE of you ever been to a Hardee's for breakfast in the South??????

Not if I can help it.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:51 AM on August 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

So this thread is staying open until every single Mefite checks in. That will solve the mystery by a process of elimination. Just like how the FBI caught the anthrax villain.












Unless....










Those were lurkers.
posted by warbaby at 6:54 AM on August 13, 2010 [3 favorites]

I was there this week, but it wasn't me. (I did look for you, though.)
posted by ocherdraco at 7:02 AM on August 13, 2010

Having never been to New York City, I can't say for certain that it wasn't me. If I ever make it, I'll let you know for sure.
posted by owtytrof at 7:17 AM on August 13, 2010

eet vas pas moi
posted by mareli at 7:30 AM on August 13, 2010

where do we go if we want to annoy jon at work ??
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:35 AM on August 13, 2010

new york, i imagine... could it be done remotely from europe do you think?
posted by infini at 7:49 AM on August 13, 2010

I heard he works at Ray's pizza. It's kind of famous. You know where it is.
posted by mintcake! at 7:50 AM on August 13, 2010

Ray's Famous or Famous Original Ray's?
posted by Mister_A at 7:55 AM on August 13, 2010

I'm not in New York, and I rarely speak with a European accent.

So I'm about 75% certain that it wasn't me.

Ok, let's call it 60% if we're honest.
posted by quin at 8:00 AM on August 13, 2010

This coming Sunday there will be a constant stream of mefites coming to jonmc's workplace, wearing obviously fake disguises and speaking with outlandish accents.

Poor Trevor.
posted by marxchivist at 8:03 AM on August 13, 2010 [11 favorites]

No I'm not.

Shut up you can't prove it!
posted by The Whelk at 9:19 AM on August 13, 2010

Actually, did you ever figure out Who Done This?
posted by The Whelk at 9:27 AM on August 13, 2010

Banana Moon Pies are awful. Just awful. But an original Moon Pie, microwaved for a few seconds until it's nice and smushy? That's a mighty fine treat, right there.
posted by BitterOldPunk

Here in East Tennesse, when we donate blood we get Dr. Pepper and Moon Pies for our snack. Suck on THAT, Nutter Butter suckers!
posted by workerant at 9:40 AM on August 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

> Behold, the mighty sausage biscuit.

Great, now I'm starving.

And no, it wasn't me.
posted by languagehat at 9:54 AM on August 13, 2010

It wasn't me, although, as you know, I always pop in when I'm in the area. It's not actually to see you, but it's because I have a crush on Neil, who is just so (sigh!) manly the way he yells "Getdafuckouttahere" at the homeless guys trying to sell him stinky dumpster books.

That's called ambiance, ej. :)
posted by pips at 10:31 AM on August 13, 2010

I was in New York in January, and fell in love with the Strand, and may well have seen you there, but not this week. I am Canadian, which may have accounted for the accent, eh?
posted by Shepherd at 10:34 AM on August 13, 2010

It was not me, with my non-European accent and spousal Bear. But if it had been me, I would have been longing for a fried egg sandwich (hold the bacon.) I looked forward to waking up and going to work so I could eat one of those with bad coffee, back when I was a NYC resident.
posted by bearwife at 10:47 AM on August 13, 2010

winna writes "enable you to get your box full of Danish chocolate frogs"

Wait, Chocolate Frogs are a real thing and not just some made up Harry Potter thing? That's Awesome.
posted by Mitheral at 10:57 AM on August 13, 2010

i don't know about plain chocolate frogs, but there's always blue frog chocolates.
posted by msconduct at 11:56 AM on August 13, 2010

Ask and you shall receive.

Oh. My. Goodness.
posted by bitteroldman at 11:59 AM on August 13, 2010

This Trevor?
posted by Splunge at 12:20 PM on August 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Behold Danish mint filled chocolate frogs, which are super tasty!
posted by winna at 12:50 PM on August 13, 2010

The scary thing is, if someone asked the security guard downstairs for "mrbill", there's about a 90% chance they'd get directed to me. If they asked our front desk/receptionist, maybe not so much... and I work for a large company (that lots of people love to hate) in a 22-story building.
posted by mrbill at 12:57 PM on August 13, 2010

Aw, now I want a chocolate frog!
posted by Karmakaze at 1:32 PM on August 13, 2010

There's also Freddo.
posted by the latin mouse at 1:57 PM on August 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Dear vegans: I understand your food is delicious, but some tasty recipes need better visual presentation.

And twern't I - I may sound foreign to 1 in 3 people, but I wasn't anywhere near NY.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:00 PM on August 13, 2010

Have NONE of you ever been to a Hardee's for breakfast in the South??????

You have a Waffle House at every exit down there. I can't imagine once in a million years choosing Hardee's over Waffle House for breakfast.

Speaking of which, I've noticed that Tim Horton's has been expanding further and further south, and Waffle House further and further north. I fear something terrible will happen when the two meet.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:31 PM on August 13, 2010

filthy light thief: "Dear vegans: I understand your food is delicious, but some tasty recipes need better visual presentation.

And twern't I - I may sound foreign to 1 in 3 people, but I wasn't anywhere near NY."

Food or Star Trek alien?
posted by Splunge at 2:55 PM on August 13, 2010

Speaking of which, I've noticed that Tim Horton's has been expanding further and further south

Holy crap, has Timmy's really proliferated that much in the US? You do realize that Tim Horton's is a branch of CSIS; it is how we will eventually take over the US, one weak-but-oddly-delicious coffee and one timbit at a time.
posted by 1000monkeys at 3:30 PM on August 13, 2010

I've just had breakfast. Fried noodles, fried beancurd and a fried egg.

Off to get my heart bypass surgery appointment now.
posted by WalterMitty at 5:51 PM on August 13, 2010

Hello. Home from work and Friday Night Revelry. I hoped that my anonymous EuroVisitors would reveal themselves, but no dice. I also interrogated my co-workers (who probably think I'm insane. or insaner, anyway) and no dice there either. So I went out and had a good time, came home with some dinner for pips and then took out the garbage and here I am.

The identity of these people will be like hangar 18. Or something.
posted by jonmc at 6:15 PM on August 13, 2010

and I kind of like the Banana Moon Pies.
posted by jonmc at 6:32 PM on August 13, 2010

Damn, Jon, it's not 10:00 PM, EST yet. Friday Night Revelry ain't what it used to be.

Oh, and it vassn't me, eider.
posted by yhbc at 6:42 PM on August 13, 2010

commish, my friend, I have to work tommorow and I'm almost forty. But I made the most of my time, trust me.
posted by jonmc at 6:47 PM on August 13, 2010

It wasn't me, John. I died in 1951.
posted by wittgenstein at 7:05 PM on August 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Speaking of which, I've noticed that Tim Horton's has been expanding further and further south."

Anchor donuts?
posted by webhund at 8:36 PM on August 13, 2010 [4 favorites]

Wasn't me, but if I ever stop by on a Sunday, Trevor is less likely to mention any accent than he is to mention the pantslessness.
posted by Navelgazer at 5:49 AM on August 14, 2010

I can sort of do accents, but I was nowhere near there, I swear.


For breakfast today I made home-made alkaline ramen noodles from the frakkin' Momofuko cookbook. Very good, but they came out a little bitter.

[Um, does anyone know if there's a meaningful difference between potassium carbonate and potassium bicarbonate?]
posted by Mngo at 10:12 AM on August 14, 2010

SO WHO WAS IT GOD DAMNIT
posted by tehloki at 10:59 AM on August 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

got me all intrigued and shit
posted by tehloki at 11:00 AM on August 14, 2010

There's a micro Tim Horton's in Penn station. They make pretty good donuts.
posted by Skorgu at 11:45 AM on August 14, 2010

Operation Sausage Biscuit is in effect, yah??
posted by Skygazer at 11:52 AM on August 14, 2010

There's a micro Tim Horton's in Penn station. They make pretty good donuts.


They used to make good donuts up until about 10 years ago, when they stopped making them in-house. :-( Now they are pre-made at a factory and sent frozen to Timmy's.
posted by 1000monkeys at 12:29 PM on August 14, 2010

I wonder if this is going to go the way of the tators and we'll never find out. That said, I don't thank you people for reminding me about sausage balls. So unhealthy and the only sausage-type food I like.

Mmmm.

Sausage balls.
posted by Space Kitty at 3:13 PM on August 14, 2010

My mom makes sausage balls and they are ossum. They freeze well, too.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 3:59 PM on August 14, 2010

FROM THE ANTI-CLIMAX DEPARTMENT:

At around 6pm today I got an email from my mom, saying (among other news) that two of my cousins from the Old Country (Italy) had tried to visit me in New York. Usually when they do that, she tells me ahead of time.

I'm sorry for the whodunit.
posted by jonmc at 4:35 PM on August 14, 2010 [2 favorites]

That having been settled, we're still trying to determine culpability in the matters of:

- the dogs having been let out
- authorship of the book of love
- being John Galt
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:55 PM on August 14, 2010 [10 favorites]

Are you kidding? This thread is the only thing that's kept MetaTalk from imploding under the weight of its own bile. You have performed a public service.
posted by languagehat at 4:56 PM on August 14, 2010 [5 favorites]

That having been settled, we're still trying to determine culpability in the matters of:

- the dogs having been let out
- authorship of the book of love
- being John Galt

My Eyetalian relatives are responsible for it all, sir.
posted by jonmc at 4:58 PM on August 14, 2010

if it makes anyone feel any better, Smart Dalek was in the store today and said hello. Always good to see him.
posted by jonmc at 5:04 PM on August 14, 2010

Guess that rules me out then, good to know.
posted by Sailormom at 6:38 PM on August 14, 2010

I'm sorry for the whodunit.

BOO!

I say we all go to the store tomorrow and undertake Greg_Nog's operation.
posted by The Whelk at 7:42 PM on August 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

jonmc: "FROM THE ANTI-CLIMAX DEPARTMENT:

At around 6pm today I got an email from my mom, saying (among other news) that two of my cousins from the Old Country (Italy) had tried to visit me in New York. Usually when they do that, she tells me ahead of time.

I'm sorry for the whodunit"

Not accepted as an answer.

So, where they dressed in black suits and wearing sunglasses? Did they have extra long index fingers? How did they smell? Like brimstone?

Cummon people, more...

I've said too much...
posted by Splunge at 10:06 PM on August 14, 2010

Maybe the mods will sidebar it if we all flag this post as fantastic. I WANT TO KNOW, THEN IMMEDIATELY REALIZE THAT I DON'T CARE AND FILL THE VOID WITH SOMETHING ELSE.
posted by spiderskull at 12:19 AM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

wait, what? so your last name really is mc? because why wouldn't they use your real name instead of your internet name? (or nmc is your last name & your first name is jo, or onmc because ... well, you get the point.) i mean, i have a lot of relatives who would probably not want to claim our kinship, but at least they know my last name. (helps them avoid me.) so i'm calling bullshit on the cousin thing.

you'll have to come up with a better story than that, bucko.
posted by msconduct at 6:17 AM on August 15, 2010

"Mc" is the first two letters of my last name. (I'm half-Irish as well as half Italian). My relatives have extremely heavy accents. Trevor has heard from other co-workers about my internet friends and probably jumped to conclusions.
posted by jonmc at 7:24 AM on August 15, 2010

So... it was your relatives.

That's just great, man.

No, really. It's great. the Moose and Squirrel comment was worth it all.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:53 AM on August 15, 2010

so he says
posted by The Whelk at 7:55 AM on August 15, 2010

Also, since this is my thread and the issue at hand has been resolved, feel free to go nuts with the non-sequitors. I'll be out on my porch.
posted by jonmc at 1:48 PM on August 15, 2010

Two kids were talking in the playground: "Hey, guess what I found on the porch yesterday? A condom!"

And the second kid said, "What's a porch?"
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:13 PM on August 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

and now every April I sit on my porch
and I watch the parade pass before me...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:31 PM on August 15, 2010

When I was a young man I carried me Mac
And I lived the free life of the rover
From the AskMe's green frontpage to the gray page out back
I waltzed my Snarkilda all over
Then at nigh 10:15 my bosses said: "Son,
It's time to stop rambling, there's work to be done"
So they gave me a file full of things not much fun
And they dragged me away to be bored.

Oh no more I'll go waltzing the Filter
All around the green, blue, far and near
For to troll, snark and flag, a man needs the web
No more waltzing the Filter for me.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:56 PM on August 15, 2010 [8 favorites]

Ubu, you've outdone yourself with that one, mate. Waltzing The Filter: a new classic.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:15 PM on August 15, 2010

I see it more something like After The Ball

"I did flameout ...after the ball..."
posted by The Whelk at 5:19 PM on August 15, 2010

Thanks, flapjax - I tried to retain the poignancy of the original.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:25 PM on August 15, 2010

It was my testicles. They're pretentious. I apologize. Again.

If they try it again I'll tell them they're talking bollocks.
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:34 AM on August 16, 2010 [5 favorites]

If they try it again I'll tell them they're talking bollocks.

I just spit out my coffee, so kudos for that one, Pallas Athena :-D
posted by 1000monkeys at 8:24 AM on August 16, 2010

So THAT'S what bollocks are.....
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:42 PM on August 16, 2010

Never mind the Sex Pistols...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:49 PM on August 16, 2010

I like carrots!
posted by h00py at 5:32 AM on August 24, 2010

Never Mind the Taters, Here's the Waltz Pistils
posted by not_on_display at 2:21 PM on August 24, 2010

Never Mind the Dollops, Here's the Hex Pustules
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:32 PM on August 24, 2010

Hivemind Codswallops, Here's the News at 10.
posted by not_on_display at 8:15 PM on August 24, 2010

Never Mind the Trollops, Here's the Vexed Bristol.
posted by SpiffyRob at 7:24 AM on August 25, 2010

Man I've spent three days with a radio stuck on an all 60s station and man do all those psychedelic mod bands sound like they're all trying to cover the same song.
posted by The Whelk at 10:51 AM on August 25, 2010

Neve Campbell, Sandra Bullock, Here's the Chex Mix Tapes
posted by not_on_display at 12:01 PM on August 25, 2010

Bullock Campbell And The Co-Stars
posted by The Whelk at 12:41 PM on August 25, 2010

they all wear identical glittery jumpsuits
posted by The Whelk at 12:42 PM on August 25, 2010

Campbell's Souperstars '10

Chunky-style jam-bands on summer touring schedule
posted by not_on_display at 1:07 PM on August 25, 2010