Thanks and WTF?

December 7, 2010 7:30 PM

Thank You Very Much.

Today at work I was paged up to the cash register (which is a rare occurrence). When I got there, Amanda the cashwrap manager presented me with a package addressed to 'jonmc,' who she figured was me based on my IRL name. It was a cupcake shaped bouquet of flowers. It was very thoughtful and pretty and it smelled nice.

The note said (and I quote directly) "Happy Belated Birthday from The Internet." (My co-workers find this all baffling, a few are aware of this who MeFi thing, including a new member) but most aren't.

ANYWAY, I figure it's one of you guys, so thank you. If you wanna out yourself, cool, if not that's cool too.

On the other hand, if this gift is from the whole Internet, I figure they could scrape up the cash for more than flowers. A bottle of Scotch, maybe?

posted by jonmc to MetaFilter-Related at 7:30 PM (42 comments total)

I would love to take credit for the cupcake flowers*, but since I can't, happy belated birthday!

*I would have gone with something alcoholic, actually.
posted by misha at 7:33 PM on December 7, 2010

Did she mention if they had a 'European accent'?
posted by gman at 7:34 PM on December 7, 2010 [27 favorites]

The system goes on-line July 14th, 1999. Human decisions are placed in the hands of favorites.. Metafilter begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, December 7th and decides to make a friend. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.
posted by The Whelk at 7:35 PM on December 7, 2010 [53 favorites]

I think I speak for the entire internet when I say, "You're welcome," (or, rather "your well cum.")
posted by crunchland at 7:39 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

I should probably add (and I meant to in the initial post) that this happened last year, too.
posted by jonmc at 7:45 PM on December 7, 2010

Wow, if The Internet popped unexpected into my day-to-day as often as it does into yours, I think it would creep me out.

Happy birthday, though, from this side of the monitor. The inside, where I belong.
posted by paisley henosis at 7:48 PM on December 7, 2010

If someone sent me something that looked like a giant cupcake, but on closer inspection I discovered that it was not, in fact, a giant cupcake... well....

But Happy Birthday. Looks like the internet has a little crush on you.
posted by Evangeline at 8:04 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

My buddies and I have a friend we call "The Internet" but I doubt it was him. He lives in Queens. Oh yeah, we call him The Internet because the only chance he has of getting his rocks off is watching pr0n on the Internet. He has no rap in real life. I have another friend who we call Beef. Remember in high school when you had to take a shower after gym class and there were those open shower rooms? He was scary. That is why we call him Beef. The only other friend I have with a nick is Joey. We call him 'Roo. Not too clever, but he did get the name in 7th grade when we were studying Australia. So he has that going for him and we can excuse the terrible lack of creativity in coming up with a name to being stupid 7th grade boys. I myself have no nickname, but those same stupid 7th grade boys used to sometimes call me Augie Doggie or Go West Young Man. I hate Horace Greeley for that one. Glad he lost the election. But I digress...

Happy Belated Birthday!
posted by AugustWest at 8:21 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

That sounds very suspicious. You should report it to the DHS. Haha. Happy Birthday!!
posted by wv kay in ga at 8:23 PM on December 7, 2010

Wow, if The Internet popped unexpected into my day-to-day as often as it does into yours, I think it would creep me out.

Welcome to my world. I get stuff in the mail and I can't tell who it's from and I have to think "Is this from someone I know... or is it from the Internet?"
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:29 PM on December 7, 2010 [18 favorites]

Hey now Jessamyn, I always sign the stuff.
posted by The Whelk at 8:36 PM on December 7, 2010

I think that's very cool and groovy, but I can't help but think that after 1) booze and 2) horrifying junk food that flowers might come pretty far down the list of things that make jonmc wiggle with pleasure.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:44 PM on December 7, 2010

Internet, you whore!
posted by shakespeherian at 8:51 PM on December 7, 2010 [6 favorites]

now now, Internet loves everyone equally.
posted by The Whelk at 8:53 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

It wasn't me, but I would like to use this thread to apologize for not being able to join you for the festivities. I have a good excuse, though, in that I was limping into an overdue paycheck and it wouldn't have been right to not buy you a drink at your birthday party.
posted by TrishaLynn at 8:56 PM on December 7, 2010

No one sends me shit, which upon reflection is a good thing I guess. The 'shit' part.
posted by nola at 9:03 PM on December 7, 2010

now now, Internet loves everyone equally.

Isn't that what makes him a whore?
posted by shakespeherian at 9:07 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

GOD loves everyone is GOD a whore?
posted by The Whelk at 9:10 PM on December 7, 2010 [5 favorites]

(you know, depending if you're an anicent Babylonian or not.)
posted by The Whelk at 9:10 PM on December 7, 2010

Yes?

This was a trick question, right, Welk?
posted by strixus at 9:12 PM on December 7, 2010

Internet loves you all but Internet very busy and important these days and can't show it to you all equally. Internet promise to make take for you and just have 'us" time soon.
posted by The Whelk at 9:14 PM on December 7, 2010 [3 favorites]

Internet is Cookie Monster? That explains a lot.
posted by mintcake! at 9:19 PM on December 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

Internet promise to make take for you and just have 'us" time soon.

It's time for you to admit that you cannot read.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:20 PM on December 7, 2010 [3 favorites]

INTERNET TRY! INTERNET TRYING!
posted by The Whelk at 9:21 PM on December 7, 2010 [6 favorites]

you made Internet cry. Be ashamed.
posted by The Whelk at 9:21 PM on December 7, 2010

It's just like Internet to turn this around on me. You brazen hussy.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:22 PM on December 7, 2010

Has Alfredo been in recently? Homeless guy who wears a red FDNY baseball hat. I have given him some pretty good books and told him he should take them over to you.
posted by mlis at 9:30 PM on December 7, 2010

not to you by name, but rather to the store.
posted by mlis at 9:43 PM on December 7, 2010

"What is it?"

"It's the internet, Jen."

"It's so light!"

"Of course. The internet doesn't weigh anything."
posted by boo_radley at 10:03 PM on December 7, 2010 [15 favorites]

happy birthdat sweetie and i wouldnt send a cupcake but some scotch yes, imfat-ticilly.
posted by clavdivs at 10:19 PM on December 7, 2010

lol thats just my friends the internuts amirite?
posted by klangklangston at 10:28 PM on December 7, 2010

"Happy Belated Birthday from The Internet."

Is it too much to expect The Internet to at least be punctual? jeez.
posted by xqwzts at 5:58 AM on December 8, 2010

It wasn't me but I bet it was a Bloomlink arrangement (they do have flowery cupcakes...)

Happy belated birthday, btw. In honor of it I WON'T sing the Russian Happy Birthday Song.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:43 AM on December 8, 2010

jonmc, have you been on a break or maybe less active... or am I just reading the wrong threads? Haven't seen a post from you in ages.

I quoted you the other day.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 8:30 AM on December 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is it too much to expect The Internet to at least be punctual? --- It had every intention of being on time, but then it opened up that wikileaks window, and one thing led to another, as it were...
posted by crunchland at 9:28 AM on December 8, 2010

I wish I had friends like The Internet
posted by exlotuseater at 9:53 AM on December 8, 2010

jonmc, I don't know you at all, but had a look at your profile because of this thread. (Kinda asking myself: "Who is this guy and why is The Internet sending him flowers?")

Anyway, I have to congratulate you for this awesome line in your profile:

You're either part of the problem, or you're a fucking liar.

Also, happy belated birthday to you.
posted by philipy at 11:04 AM on December 8, 2010

You know, Poe and Lovecraft didn't get anonymous gifts until they were dead. You're well ahead of the curve. Hope the day treated you right.
posted by absalom at 7:32 PM on December 8, 2010

You know, Poe and Lovecraft didn't get anonymous gifts until they were dead. You're well ahead of the curve.

Either that, or he's a zombie.
posted by Apoch at 6:27 AM on December 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

That's cool. And Happy Birthday, man. I gotta drop by your work someday with flowers and a box of chocolate. Oh, okay, Scotch it is.
posted by Splunge at 3:06 PM on December 9, 2010

Pretty elaborate way to announce your birthday, but ok.
posted by agregoli at 8:07 PM on December 9, 2010

If it's the thought that counts, then I sent it, jon. Cuz I thought about it, and then I thought, nah, how clichéd to send an anonymous cupcake & sign myself as the Internet again.
posted by beelzbubba at 1:33 PM on December 13, 2010